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Get Er Done
November 18, 2012 8:30 AM   Subscribe

Miranda July's Foolproof Tips to Combat Procrastination. (YouTube video)

A short film by Miranda July, deleted from her movie The Future.
Miranda previously. Via Good.is
posted by sweetkid (31 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
Best part of that movie, a free button in the lobby saying "I Have Seen The Future."
posted by leotrotsky at 8:34 AM on November 18, 2012


Judging from the first video, Leonard Cohen was right - it does look a bit like murder.
posted by WalkingAround at 8:43 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Easily foiled with a straw. Needs something more sinister, like gasoline or bleach instead of grape juice.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:46 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


I expected that step 2 would involve a hammer.
posted by TwelveTwo at 8:48 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Foolproof tip #1: DON'T VISIT YOUTUBE
posted by infinitewindow at 8:55 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


If it wasn't for procrastination I'd never get anything done.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Foolproof tip #1: DON'T VISIT YOUTUBE Metafilter.
posted by 445supermag at 9:00 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I cannot trap all the distracting things, because *everything* is a distracting thing. Perhaps I can trap myself, instead.
posted by nat at 9:22 AM on November 18, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'll watch it later.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:24 AM on November 18, 2012 [8 favorites]


This'll help.
posted by Artw at 9:28 AM on November 18, 2012


It would seem that no matter if you're trying to access your devices because you want to procrastinate or because you've finished whatever it is you're working on, you're posed with the same dilemma of how to remove the pan without ruining the dress. And let the gods help you if you've got cats like the ones that live with me - their thought process: 'oooh new object on the table... and the table itself is somehow different, too! let's jump up on it and investigate, as there might be toys or a bird or treats or even another cat up there!' (cats jump up on table precariously balanced on overturned bowls) **CRASH!** (everything comes tumbling down. dress is covered in syrup. cats are covered in syrup and proceed to ruin everything else in the house. devices are covered in syrup and ruined. now instead of not getting any work done because of little electronic screens, no work is done because of massive cleanup effort. nervous breakdown will soon follow suit).

Miranda July stayed at my house for a few days in 1998 or so. She was in a relationship (or at least sharing a sleeping bag) with Calvin Johnson at the time, and Calvin couldn't have been a nicer, more grateful guest. Not Ms. July. When you're on a tour that can't bring in enough cash to get motel rooms and you're resorting to staying with members of your opening acts, maybe it's best to not complain loudly and often about the accommodations. It was the cleanest punk house I ever saw, definitely the cleanest punk house I ever lived in. We didn't have extra beds, but we had a clean, vermin-free floor and the all-around nicest group of early twentysomething weirdos you could ever hope to stay with. It ended up being an awkward few days for everyone involved (Calvin and one of the members of his band went out of their way to apologize to one of my housemates for July's behavior, and he both cooked for us and bought everyone breakfast) and the memory, though ancient at this point, has pretty much permanently tainted how I've viewed her projects since then.
posted by item at 9:35 AM on November 18, 2012 [12 favorites]


I cannot trap all the distracting things, because *everything* is a distracting thing. Perhaps I can trap myself, instead.

You're gonna need a bigger bowl.
posted by peeedro at 9:35 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


That was quirky!
posted by craniac at 9:35 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm confused, how can this be a Miranda July clip when nothing random and overtly sexual happened 2/3 of the way through
posted by en forme de poire at 9:50 AM on November 18, 2012


Miranda July is a national treasure.
posted by oddman at 10:13 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I loved those old iBooks. They have a rough time with the web now though. I still use one at work to access an old database.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:35 AM on November 18, 2012


And those iSights go for a pretty penny now.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:36 AM on November 18, 2012


I procrastinated by watching this video.
posted by killdevil at 10:40 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I could put everything I own under a bowl and still procrastinate... stare out of the window or go for a walk.

Though seriously, since I switched to Autofocus, I've cut down procrastination by about 90% (although using it you do tend to concentrate on the easy trivial stuff, the hard stuff does get done eventually)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:54 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm staggered by the revelation that July went out with Megatron (who can only have been about twelve at the time). But they're both tall so I suppose it makes sense.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:02 PM on November 18, 2012


Brows Held High reviews You And Me And Everyone We Know (which he doesn't like)

and The Future (which he likes better and goes deeper into July's oeuvre, so to speak)

Also introducing us to the phrase Miranda July-a-like, which is just fun to say.
posted by The Whelk at 12:39 PM on November 18, 2012


*spends the next two hours "freeing the hostage" instead of doing laundry*
posted by samsara at 2:09 PM on November 18, 2012


BUT I NEED THE DISTRACTING THING IN ORDER TO BE PRODUCTIVE
posted by bicyclefish at 5:32 PM on November 18, 2012


Calvin Johnson as Megatron: "This is Decepticon narcotic sound. Hasbro bleed, Hasbro bleed," all the while doing some sort of robotic chicken dance.
posted by item at 6:18 PM on November 18, 2012


But how do you get the hostage out when you're done? Do you have to lap up and/or drink the juice with a straw? Finish your work before it evaporates and/or attracts ants? What if the smell of grape juice distracts you?
posted by NoraReed at 11:04 PM on November 18, 2012


Tweezers? Really?
posted by gern at 11:27 PM on November 18, 2012


Tweezers, absolutely: it's unclear how I can possibly finish writing my dissertation in the next week, but I can absolutely succeed at having perfectly plucked eyebrows and no hairs on my chin.
posted by ecsh at 5:47 AM on November 19, 2012


Next scene : Reading MeFi in my new pink dress
posted by fullerine at 6:16 AM on November 19, 2012


I'll watch it later.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:24 AM on November 18


I was going to make this joke, but I kept putting it off.
posted by Trochanter at 9:10 AM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


But how do you get the hostage out when you're done? Do you have to lap up and/or drink the juice with a straw? Finish your work before it evaporates and/or attracts ants? What if the smell of grape juice distracts you?

I have no idea, I was wondering that myself.
posted by sweetkid at 9:17 AM on November 19, 2012


If it wasn't for procrastination I'd never get anything done.

You are very welcome!
posted by procrastination at 9:55 AM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


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