It's a floor polisher. It's a dessert eater.
November 20, 2012 2:34 AM Subscribe
Baby Mop is one of the strangest products I've ever seen. I have no idea how parents got their infants wedged into cleaning supplies, or why.
This is so fantastic it makes me want to cripple my four year old.
posted by three blind mice at 2:52 AM on November 20, 2012 [19 favorites]
posted by three blind mice at 2:52 AM on November 20, 2012 [19 favorites]
Doesn't look very effective to me. I'll stick with the tried and tested method of thrashing them until they learn how to clean a floor using a mop and bucket.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:56 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:56 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Every parent ever has thought of inventing this.
posted by a non e mouse at 3:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by a non e mouse at 3:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [9 favorites]
These, friends, are the visible signs of cutbacks on Sesame St in our straitened times.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by MuffinMan at 3:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Oh I like that childlabor tag.. subtle
posted by infini at 3:07 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by infini at 3:07 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
They don't have it in Dog, but the Japanese have it in Cat.
posted by cstross at 3:29 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by cstross at 3:29 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Like people with babies have time to clean anything.
We only recently started sweeping our kitchen floor after...10 years?...of kicking crumbs under the stove.
posted by DU at 4:06 AM on November 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
We only recently started sweeping our kitchen floor after...10 years?...of kicking crumbs under the stove.
posted by DU at 4:06 AM on November 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
Do they have a size for an alcoholic uncle.
posted by quazichimp at 4:28 AM on November 20, 2012 [29 favorites]
posted by quazichimp at 4:28 AM on November 20, 2012 [29 favorites]
If you're so obsessed with maximizing efficiency that you turn your baby into a cleaning tool, well...You're probably raising the kid who eventually invents Soylent Green...as a vehicle for revenge.
"How's that for efficiency, ma?"
posted by Thorzdad at 4:47 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
"How's that for efficiency, ma?"
posted by Thorzdad at 4:47 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm always glad to see babies being put to work. Horrible little welfare moochers, the lot of them.
posted by dortmunder at 5:02 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by dortmunder at 5:02 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
does anyone read the comments down here?
posted by modernserf at 5:11 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by modernserf at 5:11 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
does it come with a free baby - what do you do with it once the floor is clean?
posted by dprs75 at 5:19 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by dprs75 at 5:19 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Feed the baby. Soon you'll have something for her to mop up again.
posted by ardgedee at 5:24 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 5:24 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
filet o'baby sandwich.
posted by elizardbits at 5:25 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 5:25 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is not funny. Most of you probably don't understand this, but I grew up in a very cruel family that used me as a cleaning tool.
It took me years of therapy to get over it, but till this day whenever I enter a dirty room I still have the urge to throw my body on the floor and roll around. It's embarrassing, you know, to be thought of as a common cleaning tool.
I overcame it. I marshaled every bit of psychic power I had, and I worked hard. And today I am a wealthy man.
It's a true rags to riches story.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:27 AM on November 20, 2012 [25 favorites]
It took me years of therapy to get over it, but till this day whenever I enter a dirty room I still have the urge to throw my body on the floor and roll around. It's embarrassing, you know, to be thought of as a common cleaning tool.
I overcame it. I marshaled every bit of psychic power I had, and I worked hard. And today I am a wealthy man.
It's a true rags to riches story.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:27 AM on November 20, 2012 [25 favorites]
Make it a wet-mop, and every floor becomes a slip-n-slide!
posted by blue_beetle at 6:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 6:04 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
does it come with a free baby - what do you do with it once the floor is clean?
I assumed it was disposable like those Swiffer mops.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:19 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I assumed it was disposable like those Swiffer mops.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:19 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
what goes around, comes around.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:31 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:31 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
I don't have a kid, but I was thinking if I did, it'd be great to give it clothes that more effectively attract and absorb all the shit he/she crawls around in all day!
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:32 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:32 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Don't be fooled. The mop suit is cheap but they get you with the expensive replacement baby modules.
posted by mazola at 6:45 AM on November 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by mazola at 6:45 AM on November 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
This is not funny. Most of you probably don't understand this, but I grew up in a very cruel family that used me as a cleaning tool.
At long last, it's finally "The Wheel II: Scrub-Down"!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:56 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
At long last, it's finally "The Wheel II: Scrub-Down"!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:56 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
This video seems like a pretty direct rip of this twelve-year-old Kit Kat commercial.
posted by Mothra Pisces at 7:01 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Mothra Pisces at 7:01 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is inspired (i.e. stolen) from the Japanese idea of Chindogu, which inspired the book 101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions: The Art of Chindōgu (link). Many of the images in this book hit the net around 1995, making it an early source of memes. The original Baby Mop was included in this group of images.
posted by quibx at 7:13 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by quibx at 7:13 AM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Dog, indeed. We thought we should just tie the Swiffer *to* the dog, so she'd clean up all the hair as soon as it fell off her. Unfortunately she's terrified of the Swiffer. (Really? This is the descendant of wolves? In mortal panic over a washcloth on a stick?)
posted by Michael Roberts at 7:23 AM on November 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by Michael Roberts at 7:23 AM on November 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
"Finally, a way to get all that dirt and bacteria off the floor and onto your baby!" -- Seth Myers, Weekend Update
posted by Sys Rq at 7:23 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Sys Rq at 7:23 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yes - let's design baby clothes that collects and holds as much dirt, bacteria, and germs as possible.
This is Rocket Surgery.
posted by Flood at 7:29 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is Rocket Surgery.
posted by Flood at 7:29 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yes - let's design baby clothes that collects and holds as much dirt, bacteria, and germs as possible.
Baby clothes already hold as much dirt, bacteria, and germs as possible: they hold babies.
posted by Think_Long at 8:20 AM on November 20, 2012 [16 favorites]
Baby clothes already hold as much dirt, bacteria, and germs as possible: they hold babies.
posted by Think_Long at 8:20 AM on November 20, 2012 [16 favorites]
Okay, fair enough. But is it also a simple, beautiful solution to clearing landmines in Afghanistan?
posted by fifthrider at 8:24 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by fifthrider at 8:24 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Do you have it in dog?
Yes, yes we do!
posted by obscurator at 8:27 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Yes, yes we do!
posted by obscurator at 8:27 AM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Unfortunately she's terrified of the Swiffer. (Really? This is the descendant of wolves? In mortal panic over a washcloth on a stick?)
my cat was mortified over the swiffer. maybe there's some kind of ultra high frequency akin to scratching one's nails on a chalkboard that they hear?
posted by bitteroldman at 9:05 AM on November 20, 2012
my cat was mortified over the swiffer. maybe there's some kind of ultra high frequency akin to scratching one's nails on a chalkboard that they hear?
posted by bitteroldman at 9:05 AM on November 20, 2012
The video looks like a (Korean?) parody of infomercials, but the article suggests that this product is actually real.
Did someone watch the episode of Raising Hope where Jimmy invented more or less this exact thing and decide that the thing they saw on a sitcom should definitely be a real product?
posted by asnider at 9:09 AM on November 20, 2012
Did someone watch the episode of Raising Hope where Jimmy invented more or less this exact thing and decide that the thing they saw on a sitcom should definitely be a real product?
posted by asnider at 9:09 AM on November 20, 2012
Man, Fox & Friends scooped you by a week.
Doocy!
posted by krinklyfig at 9:18 AM on November 20, 2012
Doocy!
posted by krinklyfig at 9:18 AM on November 20, 2012
My first thought is that it was a hoax, but then I remembered the home shopping television that played in the breakfast area of our hotel last week, and now I'm not so sure.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:25 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:25 AM on November 20, 2012
There's also Kitten Scrubbers available for free on craigslist (or I think this guy sells them). NOTE: his "10 Dollars (part I & II) animation is really funny, but sad (based on a real phone message recording).
posted by whatgorilla at 9:26 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by whatgorilla at 9:26 AM on November 20, 2012
whatgorilla: That would have been funny, had it not been pretty straight-ahead animal abuse.
posted by phrontist at 9:32 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by phrontist at 9:32 AM on November 20, 2012
quibx:Not to mention the video is three years old…This is inspired (i.e. stolen) from the Japanese idea of Chindogu, which inspired the book 101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions: The Art of Chindōgu (link). Many of the images in this book hit the net around 1995, making it an early source of memes. The original Baby Mop was included in this group of images.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:02 AM on November 20, 2012
Also, the "baby" is obviously just an actor.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:12 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:12 AM on November 20, 2012
Smart Dalek: "Baby Mop is one of the strangest products I've ever seen. I have no idea how parents got their infants wedged into cleaning supplies, or why."
Better than parents getting infants wedged back into parents...
THE ARISTOCRATS!
posted by Samizdata at 10:53 AM on November 20, 2012
Better than parents getting infants wedged back into parents...
THE ARISTOCRATS!
posted by Samizdata at 10:53 AM on November 20, 2012
Is your cat making too much noise all the time?
posted by Navelgazer at 11:00 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by Navelgazer at 11:00 AM on November 20, 2012
This is obviously fake, you can tell by the pixels. Babies aren't good for anything.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:17 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:17 AM on November 20, 2012
To paraphrase Colbert, "I was just wondering how I could more effectively get dirt and germs all over my baby."
posted by availablelight at 11:18 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by availablelight at 11:18 AM on November 20, 2012
wasn't this an episode of Raising Hope? They even had a handle option that caused an argument between Sabrina and Jimmie.
posted by djduckie at 11:41 AM on November 20, 2012
posted by djduckie at 11:41 AM on November 20, 2012
wasn't this an episode of Raising Hope? They even had a handle option that caused an argument between Sabrina and Jimmie.
If you add a handle it's just a regular broom with a baby attached to it!
posted by asnider at 12:05 PM on November 20, 2012
If you add a handle it's just a regular broom with a baby attached to it!
posted by asnider at 12:05 PM on November 20, 2012
Make it a wet-mop, and every floor becomes a slip-n-slide!
The wet mop feature is built in!
posted by BlueHorse at 6:08 PM on November 20, 2012
The wet mop feature is built in!
posted by BlueHorse at 6:08 PM on November 20, 2012
How practical is this really without a handle? Can you rely on your little one to crawl into those hard to reach spaces and corners?
posted by Sailormom at 4:59 AM on November 23, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Sailormom at 4:59 AM on November 23, 2012 [1 favorite]
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