Chaos' Theory: 'If it feels good, keep doing it.'
December 7, 2012 7:03 AM Subscribe
I'd rename that dog Slinky if he were mine.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:16 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by MuffinMan at 7:16 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]
If your back is itchy, that's a good way to cope.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:17 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:17 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
Won't someone itch that poor pup?
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:22 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:22 AM on December 7, 2012
This is why Boxers are awesome!
posted by cass at 7:25 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by cass at 7:25 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
The "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" Rules of Pet Names:
1. Do not name your cat "Stinky"
2. Do not name your gerbil "Fang"
3. Do not name your horse "Bucky"
4. Do not name your dog "Chaos"
posted by drlith at 7:26 AM on December 7, 2012 [6 favorites]
1. Do not name your cat "Stinky"
2. Do not name your gerbil "Fang"
3. Do not name your horse "Bucky"
4. Do not name your dog "Chaos"
posted by drlith at 7:26 AM on December 7, 2012 [6 favorites]
body massage
posted by methinks at 7:27 AM on December 7, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by methinks at 7:27 AM on December 7, 2012 [4 favorites]
I feel all uneven! Someone find a dog who slides down on its left side, QUICK!
posted by spindrifter at 7:27 AM on December 7, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by spindrifter at 7:27 AM on December 7, 2012 [7 favorites]
5. Do not name your bird "Constance"
Attention neighbor w/ bird: fuck you.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:28 AM on December 7, 2012 [8 favorites]
Attention neighbor w/ bird: fuck you.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:28 AM on December 7, 2012 [8 favorites]
I used to do that when I was like 5 years old. Lie down and a flomp flomp flomp my way down the stairs. Avoided any major head trauma but I'd get pretty fun bruises on my hips and shoulders. For some reason stairs were my #1 spot for childhood funtimes. I'm sure my parents loved that.
posted by arcolz at 7:30 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by arcolz at 7:30 AM on December 7, 2012
I think this must be what our dog is trying to do when 7am rolls around and he's between us in the bed. Too bad the stairs are a good 15 feet down the hall. ...little shitass is lucky we love him.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:38 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:38 AM on December 7, 2012
drlith: The "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" Rules of Pet Names:
In veterinary medicine, it is well know that any pet named "Lucky" will be a medical trainwreck.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:03 AM on December 7, 2012 [4 favorites]
In veterinary medicine, it is well know that any pet named "Lucky" will be a medical trainwreck.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:03 AM on December 7, 2012 [4 favorites]
6. Do not name your monkey "Shitslinger"
7. Do not name your alligator "Widowmaker"
8. Do not name your cobra "Frenchy"
posted by etc. at 8:28 AM on December 7, 2012 [8 favorites]
7. Do not name your alligator "Widowmaker"
8. Do not name your cobra "Frenchy"
posted by etc. at 8:28 AM on December 7, 2012 [8 favorites]
Incredibly cute, and their handyman/painter will also be pleased.
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:31 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:31 AM on December 7, 2012
I love it how some mornings, he makes it to the first landing, and then, really, just has to take. A. Little. Break.
posted by Windopaene at 8:33 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Windopaene at 8:33 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
This is why Boxers are awesome!
This is one of many reasons Boxers are awesome. Here is my favourite though. I have long been convinced that Chewbacca was Foley edited from the sound of a Boxer singing, which is what you hear between barks on that video.
Sadly, ours was so abused she doesn't bark - it took years for us to get her to woof and you have to really, really wind her up. But she does sing again, and we love it when she does. Plus, you have to laugh...
posted by DarlingBri at 8:34 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is one of many reasons Boxers are awesome. Here is my favourite though. I have long been convinced that Chewbacca was Foley edited from the sound of a Boxer singing, which is what you hear between barks on that video.
Sadly, ours was so abused she doesn't bark - it took years for us to get her to woof and you have to really, really wind her up. But she does sing again, and we love it when she does. Plus, you have to laugh...
posted by DarlingBri at 8:34 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
9. Do not name your ferret "Bitey"
posted by slkinsey at 8:35 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by slkinsey at 8:35 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
My friends and I used to do this for hours on end when we were kids, using sleeping bags as toboggans. It really is as fun as it looks.
Requirements: Long, straight, carpeted stairwell; sleeping bags with silky nylon exterior.
Directions: Get in sleeping bag, slide down stairs, climb stairs, repeat.
(Note that this is in Canada, with fairly high-pile carpet and the pitch of the stairs meeting strict code requirements. Do it on those super-steep English stairs with one of those thin-ass runners and you will die.)
posted by Sys Rq at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
Requirements: Long, straight, carpeted stairwell; sleeping bags with silky nylon exterior.
Directions: Get in sleeping bag, slide down stairs, climb stairs, repeat.
(Note that this is in Canada, with fairly high-pile carpet and the pitch of the stairs meeting strict code requirements. Do it on those super-steep English stairs with one of those thin-ass runners and you will die.)
posted by Sys Rq at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
rolls over your neighbor's log?
What loves any snack and fits on your back?
It's Dog, Dog, Dog!
It's Dog, it's Dog, it's big, it's heavy, it's woof.
It's Dog, it's Dog, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a Dog! You're gonna love it, Dog!
Come on and get your Dog! Everyone needs a Dog!
posted by orme at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [12 favorites]
rolls over your neighbor's log?
What loves any snack and fits on your back?
It's Dog, Dog, Dog!
It's Dog, it's Dog, it's big, it's heavy, it's woof.
It's Dog, it's Dog, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a Dog! You're gonna love it, Dog!
Come on and get your Dog! Everyone needs a Dog!
posted by orme at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [12 favorites]
Here is my favourite though.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:34 PM on December 7
Plus points for "Get off, you twonk!"
posted by Decani at 8:48 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by DarlingBri at 4:34 PM on December 7
Plus points for "Get off, you twonk!"
posted by Decani at 8:48 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
10. Do not name your killer whale "Killer Whale"
posted by echo target at 8:50 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by echo target at 8:50 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
11. Do not name your firstborn "Cain"
posted by etc. at 8:56 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by etc. at 8:56 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]
12. Do not name your boa constrictor "Cuddles" because seriously every single person who ever owned one has already thought of this totally original and hilarious joke
posted by elizardbits at 8:58 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by elizardbits at 8:58 AM on December 7, 2012
11. Do not name your firstborn "Cain"
What do you have against dragoons?
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:09 AM on December 7, 2012
What do you have against dragoons?
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:09 AM on December 7, 2012
I used to have a little dog who entertained herself with a different stairs game: she would carry her ball up to the landing, drop it down the stairs, furiously chase after it, repeat. Very handy for when I was doing homework and wouldn't play with her.
posted by unsub at 9:13 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by unsub at 9:13 AM on December 7, 2012
13. Do not name your chocolate lab "Cocoa". Seriously. That's just lazy.
posted by Benway at 10:14 AM on December 7, 2012
posted by Benway at 10:14 AM on December 7, 2012
+10 for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:38 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
I feel all uneven! Someone find a dog who slides down on its left side, QUICK!
Done!
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 2:14 PM on December 7, 2012
Done!
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 2:14 PM on December 7, 2012
16. Do name your pet tarantula "Hairylegs Belafonte".
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:17 PM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:17 PM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]
Do not name your slow loris Jayden, cause that's just trashy.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:03 PM on December 7, 2012
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:03 PM on December 7, 2012
9. Do not name your ferret "Bitey"
Unless it's actually an opossum, and lives in a monorail train.
Do feel free to get a second pet so that they can be named "Dental Plan" and "Lisa Needs Braces", though.
posted by arto at 9:12 PM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
Unless it's actually an opossum, and lives in a monorail train.
Do feel free to get a second pet so that they can be named "Dental Plan" and "Lisa Needs Braces", though.
posted by arto at 9:12 PM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]
« Older A human space transportation system at... | Making things with Maths Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by elizardbits at 7:04 AM on December 7, 2012 [4 favorites]