Join 3,440 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

Tags:

Looking for Meatballs?
December 9, 2012 7:40 PM   Subscribe

Mysterious monkey in posh miniature winter coat found alone at Toronto Ikea And, of course, now he's tweeting.
posted by davebush (91 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
Cute. And sad. Poor little monkey.
posted by greta simone at 7:46 PM on December 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


Related

‘It’s none of their business’: Edmonton mayor irate over ‘ridiculous’ Toronto motion telling Alberta capital what to do with its elephant


At this point, I involuntarily started humming "O Canada".
posted by ryanshepard at 7:46 PM on December 9, 2012 [10 favorites]


There was a brief period earlier this afternoon when the entire Globe & Mail article just read, "It's unclear how this monkey ended up at the Toronto IKEA in the North York area." And left it at that.
posted by saturday_morning at 7:50 PM on December 9, 2012 [11 favorites]


Hey, it's the new Mönki from IKEA!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:50 PM on December 9, 2012 [32 favorites]


Such a well dressed little guy!
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 7:52 PM on December 9, 2012


IKEA monkey took us from thing-that-happened to jokes to backlash to exhaustion in record time.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:53 PM on December 9, 2012 [3 favorites]


The Ikea monkey touched a place inside of me I never knew existed.
posted by Flashman at 7:54 PM on December 9, 2012 [6 favorites]


Hard out here for a chimp.
posted by bicyclefish at 7:55 PM on December 9, 2012 [22 favorites]


And from the soon to-be-corrected shearling page on Wikipedia:

On December 9, 2012, a monkey made shearling coats a thing when he was spotted wearing one in an Ikea in North York, Toronto.[1]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:59 PM on December 9, 2012 [10 favorites]


Hopefully this is viral marketing for a new season of Ikea Heights.
posted by mannequito at 8:00 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


The best article on this (and there are many) said, "It is assumed he was somebody's pet, because he was wearing a coat."
posted by dobbs at 8:00 PM on December 9, 2012 [14 favorites]


Escape From Planet of the Drapes
posted by ninjew at 8:01 PM on December 9, 2012 [20 favorites]


Poor caged monkey. Can you blame him?
posted by scratch at 8:03 PM on December 9, 2012


:-( that is the saddest looking macaque I have ever seen. Who would bring a monkey to Canadian Ikea, of all places?
posted by ChuraChura at 8:05 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Best thing to happen to shearling coats since Del Boy.
posted by arcticseal at 8:05 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Has the phrase "Mysterious monkey in posh miniature winter coat" ever appeared in print, on this planet, before today? Something to ponder.
posted by davebush at 8:06 PM on December 9, 2012 [26 favorites]


Begun, The Rise of the Planet of the Apes has.
And they are so much more stylin' than we could have predicted.
posted by Mezentian at 8:07 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh hai I keep exotic endangered animals in cages 'cause I'm a big ballsack.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 8:08 PM on December 9, 2012 [10 favorites]


Who would bring a monkey to Canadian Ikea, of all places?

At least they dressed it warmly. That coat looks really good. I was wandering around outdoors at the Brickworks this evening, following a live production re-enacting the the journey of the Holy Family. A shearling coat would have been really nice.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:10 PM on December 9, 2012


Oh hai I keep exotic endangered animals in cages 'cause I'm a big ballsack.

Now we don't know for sure if it actually was kept in a cage. Although, it was found at IKEA, so it might have been kept in a STORNÄS.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:15 PM on December 9, 2012 [13 favorites]


Article says it escaped from a cage in a car.
posted by scratch at 8:17 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


UPDATE: The man who came forward to claim the monkey was wearing a yellow hat.
posted by mayurasana at 8:18 PM on December 9, 2012 [64 favorites]


Are you saying he was curious about the Swedish Meatballs and flatpack furniture?
posted by Mezentian at 8:19 PM on December 9, 2012


I liked how the Globe's article makes a point of the monkey "wandering aimlessly" outside of the store, as if, had it been wandering with some sense of purpose it wouldn't have attracted such attention.
posted by Flashman at 8:21 PM on December 9, 2012 [71 favorites]


Nice coat.

"I am Gotham's reckoning."
posted by Artw at 8:21 PM on December 9, 2012 [21 favorites]


He's like a Paddington Bear for our times.
posted by maryr at 8:23 PM on December 9, 2012 [13 favorites]


Twelve days to go. #Mayan
posted by Wordshore at 8:25 PM on December 9, 2012 [29 favorites]


If this is Ikea, where are all the cats?
posted by Mezentian at 8:34 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Apparently the owner has come forwards and will pay a CN$240 fine for the charge of owning a prohibited animal.

The monkey is in the hands of animal care and in 'good health'.

I'm sure there's a monkeyshines joke here, but I'm not pushing to find it.
posted by mephron at 8:42 PM on December 9, 2012


The ape in the mayor's office has been set free, too.
posted by anothermug at 8:47 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


FWIW, that Ikea is right across the street from the Canadian College of Naturopathic "Medicine"--kind of a giant magnet for people with more money than sense--and the parking at that place is (much like the services offered within) inadequate and overpriced, while the Ikea parking is free and plentiful. So I blame those quacks for this monkey business, and most other things.

I liked how the Globe's article makes a point of the monkey "wandering aimlessly" outside of the store, as if, had it been wandering with some sense of purpose it wouldn't have attracted such attention.

If it's your first visit to that Ikea (one of two Toronto Ikeas *shakes fist on behalf of the Ikea-less Maritimes*) I guarantee you'll be wandering around aimlessly too, monkey or not, because somehow the entrance--complete with absolutely gigantic sign reading "ENTRANCE"--is completely invisible from the parking lot. Or maybe you'll just walk straight in through the exit without realizing, in which case you'll be wandering aimlessly inside the store.

P.S. The guy on the news called it a Rhesus macaw.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:48 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


I mean this is definitely my favorite headline of the week so all's well.
posted by SharkParty at 8:49 PM on December 9, 2012


I guarantee you'll be wandering around aimlessly too, monkey or not, because somehow the entrance--complete with absolutely gigantic sign reading "ENTRANCE"--is completely invisible from the parking lot.

That's not a bug, that's a feature of all the modern Ikea stores, isn't it?
posted by Mezentian at 8:50 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sys Rq: "The guy on the news called it a Rhesus macaw."

Yeah, that stuck in macraw too.
posted by boo_radley at 8:51 PM on December 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


"Honey, I'm going to IKEA. Should I bring the monkey?"
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:52 PM on December 9, 2012 [17 favorites]


Can this monkey go on tour?

I'm not sure, but I am pretty sure Flavortown is lacking in monkeys.
posted by Mezentian at 8:53 PM on December 9, 2012


I like the idea that "tweeting" would be a synonym for "flinging one's own poop."
posted by yoink at 8:54 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Flavortown is lacking in monkeys

Nope -- "donkey sauce" is a misprint.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:55 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


one of two Toronto Ikeas

Actually, three: Etobicoke, Vaughan, and North York. Sorry.
posted by anothermug at 8:55 PM on December 9, 2012


Vaughan is not part of Toronto.
posted by Dasein at 9:01 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Just like monkeys are, technically speaking, not apes.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:06 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would just like to share that I now have "This Monkey's Gone To Ikea" in my head.
Because the devil is six.
posted by Mezentian at 9:16 PM on December 9, 2012 [26 favorites]


At least nobody got their face torn off in the incident.
posted by blaneyphoto at 9:18 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


...Nacho?
posted by threeants at 9:28 PM on December 9, 2012


Honey, I lost the monkey!

"Donkey sauce," sheesh, until now I thought that was a "euphemism".
posted by Pudhoho at 9:30 PM on December 9, 2012


Now if only we could get him riding backwards on a pig. Because the coat would just make that whole scenario so much more awesome.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:38 PM on December 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm jealous of the coat. I never heard of this 'Del Boy' character, and don't live in the UK. Still, while the coat would work most places in the States, I think, it seems out of place here in Europe, in general, but maybe not so much in Switzerland. I've wanted such a coat for decades.
posted by Goofyy at 9:50 PM on December 9, 2012


I think there should be a song: The Monkey in the Ikea.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:58 PM on December 9, 2012


Nobody knows how the monkey got to Ikea, or why.
posted by Mezentian at 9:59 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


The funny thing is, Del Boy isn't wearing a Del Boy coat in his most famous clip.
posted by Artw at 10:05 PM on December 9, 2012


I think there should be a song: The Monkey in the Ikea.

There's probably a way to adapt Hockey Monkey by the Zambonis.

Because it's 1,2,3
The kids love the MALM bookcase
And it's 4,5,6
The monkey's got an allen wrench
And it's 7,8,9
We're having some meatballs, yeah
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:12 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


the poor thing looks so sad and lost
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:22 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ikea.
What kind of monkey business is this anyway?
posted by DonnyMac at 11:02 PM on December 9, 2012


the poor thing looks so sad and lost


and warm.
posted by DonnyMac at 11:05 PM on December 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


Coming soon from Peter Gabriel: 'Taze The Monkey.'
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:07 PM on December 9, 2012


Ya, Vaughan is The City Above Toronto, obviously.
There are actually 4 Toronto Ikeas. North York, Etobicoke, Vaughan, and Burlington
posted by Chuckles at 11:14 PM on December 9, 2012


Paging Parry Gripp...
posted by glenmullaly at 11:22 PM on December 9, 2012


Twelve days to go. #Mayan

Twelve monkeys?
posted by WalkingAround at 12:15 AM on December 10, 2012


"It's about damn time!" says that one guy who's been waiting patiently for his particular fetish for monkeys in winter coats shopping for prefabricated furniture to show up on the internet.
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:45 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was supposed to pick up Carl.
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 1:24 AM on December 10, 2012 [19 favorites]


Burlington is in no way Toronto, Chuckles. Although it is my favourite IKEA.
posted by saucysault at 1:56 AM on December 10, 2012


Poor monkey.
posted by pracowity at 1:57 AM on December 10, 2012


GTA-wise, I think the border is between Oakville and Burlington.
posted by mannequito at 2:02 AM on December 10, 2012


... one of two Toronto Ikeas ...

Actually, three: Etobicoke, Vaughan, and North York. Sorry.

There are actually 4 Toronto Ikeas: North York, Etobicoke, Vaughan, and Burlington


There are, in fact, five Toronto Ikeas: North York, Etobicoke, Vaughan, Burlington and Ottawa.

(This is fun! Who's next?)

posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 3:07 AM on December 10, 2012 [7 favorites]


Ah, I still remember where I was when I heard about Ikea Monkey. Seems like it was only yesterday.
posted by kcds at 3:39 AM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Truth be told, there are six Toronto Ikeas: North York, Etobicoke, Vaughan, Burlington, Ottawa, and Gdansk. Just be sure to say "Ee-KAY-ah" when asking for the Gdansk store. And no macaques in the snack bar.
posted by pracowity at 3:48 AM on December 10, 2012


"Honey, I'm going to IKEA. Should I bring the monkey?"
posted by bonobothegreat

Epynyster....hystericalpony...hysterecto....

Aw fuck it, that joke people make when somethings ironically related to ones user name.
posted by dr_dank at 4:47 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cute. And sad. Poor little monkey.

Do you feel sad for the little monkey? That is because you're crazy.

(Illegal pets can easily be replaced by the Toronto Humane Society)
posted by Flashman at 5:12 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Animal described as "a good little monkey, and always very curious."
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 5:16 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


SOON.
posted by jquinby at 5:16 AM on December 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


Historically, all IKEAs are Toronto IKEAs. Historically, Malmö is a part of the GTA.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:28 AM on December 10, 2012


I was at this store sunday afternoon and somehow managed to miss seeing the monkey. So sad.
posted by captaincrouton at 6:47 AM on December 10, 2012


SOON.

Omg, that is the saddest little picture.
posted by triggerfinger at 6:58 AM on December 10, 2012


Sys Rq - I wanted to resist commenting on your harsh critique of naturopathic medicine, but out of respect for a couple people, I feel obligated to offer this:

My family has far more sense than money. We've been helped very much by a doctor in that very building. The services and parking we've paid for have been reasonably priced.

OK, carry on with the monkey jokes.
posted by davebush at 7:12 AM on December 10, 2012


I bet that poor monkey could go for a little naturopathy right about now. Especially the stuff where they treat you with large doses of sunshine and fresh air.
posted by pracowity at 7:20 AM on December 10, 2012


The Ikea monkey touched a place inside of me I never knew existed.

It's the prehensile tail that lets them do that.
posted by scalefree at 7:51 AM on December 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'm surprised he's not also wearing a toque.
posted by apricot at 7:52 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


This would not have happened if the lineups for the supervised children's play area weren't so fucking long.
posted by Kabanos at 8:04 AM on December 10, 2012


I love this. No snark from me.
posted by srboisvert at 8:23 AM on December 10, 2012


I was supposed to pick up Carl.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:42 AM on December 10, 2012 [3 favorites]


Has the phrase "Mysterious monkey in posh miniature winter coat" ever appeared in print, on this planet, before today? Something to ponder.

CTRL+F The Whelk's oeuvre and you'll have a definitive answer.
posted by ersatz at 8:46 AM on December 10, 2012


His name is Darwin.

He's 7 months old! : (
posted by orme at 9:52 AM on December 10, 2012


I thought he was 7 years old.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:17 AM on December 10, 2012


Darwin is headed for the Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary in Sunderland, Ontario (part of Toronto).
posted by Dasein at 12:58 PM on December 10, 2012


"I am Gotham's reckoning."

You think IKEA is your ally...
posted by homunculus at 1:36 PM on December 10, 2012


Poor monkey...I hope the little tyke is okay....

EDIT: People who own illegal animals are horrible.
posted by magstheaxe at 2:34 PM on December 10, 2012


"I am Gotham's reckoning."

How did that go again? Every time I hear Bane's stupid voice and then conflate it with that "permission to die" line I get:

"No Mister Wayne I expect you to die! :D"
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 3:24 PM on December 10, 2012


He kind of broke my heart.
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:51 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Internet mashup.
posted by maryr at 12:20 PM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Videos of Darwin the Monkey’s Life Before the Ikea Incident
posted by homunculus at 2:30 PM on December 11, 2012


Found this local handicraft on the GTA Kijiji.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:44 PM on December 17, 2012


« Older Anyone who has spent any time at all on the Wester...  |  As part of his long-term Genes... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments