And he looks pretty excited about it.
December 11, 2012 9:11 AM   Subscribe

Novak Djokovic buys the world’s entire supply of donkey cheese.
posted by 256 (58 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Donkey cheese? Is that made of, from, or by donkeys?

The world’s No. 1 tennis player bought the entire world supply of a cheese made from donkeys

Ah, that clears that up! I think.

Is that anything like donkey sauce?
posted by JHarris at 9:15 AM on December 11, 2012


Metafilter: Novak Djokovic buys the world’s entire supply of donkey cheese
posted by facetious at 9:16 AM on December 11, 2012 [14 favorites]


I'll bet Guy Fieri is nervous about his ever-dwindling supply of donkey sauce right now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:17 AM on December 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


In other news, donkeys got cheese.
posted by chavenet at 9:17 AM on December 11, 2012


Is Zasavica donkey cheese the old or new kobe beef?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:20 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Apparently I can't help but read "donkey cheese" in the voice of the waitress from that Key and Peele soul food sketch.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:23 AM on December 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


As an aside, one of my favourite things about professional sporting events is when athletes feel moved to rip off their clothing as part of their victory celebrations.
posted by elizardbits at 9:24 AM on December 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Serbian donkey cheese is so 2011. You need to try artisanal Croatian donkey cheese.
posted by Wordshore at 9:25 AM on December 11, 2012 [5 favorites]


A female donkey is called a jenny. A group of them, jennies.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:26 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is, evidently, the replacement for Moose Cheese.....

I'm holding out for snake cheese.....
posted by HuronBob at 9:27 AM on December 11, 2012


So it's jenny cheese? That just seems weird. Not that donkey cheese doesn't seem weird too. Look, cheese is weird, full stop.
posted by Mister_A at 9:28 AM on December 11, 2012


I love cheese, so why is the phrase "donkey cheese" making me shudder?
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:28 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


A female donkey is called a jenny. A group of them, jennies.

I hope the collective noun is "pirate".
posted by elizardbits at 9:29 AM on December 11, 2012 [10 favorites]


considered one of the worlds most expensive foods

Naw, I can think of one other type of milk, which price per ounce would then make the resulting cheese perhaps THE most expensive food...
posted by jkaczor at 9:30 AM on December 11, 2012


I'm afraid we're all out of Serbian donkey cheese.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:32 AM on December 11, 2012 [5 favorites]


I can think of one other type of milk, which price per ounce would then make the resulting cheese perhaps THE most expensive food...

If there were any demand.
posted by DU at 9:32 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!
posted by phong3d at 9:33 AM on December 11, 2012 [11 favorites]


He who controls the donkey cheese, controls the...um...puniverse!
posted by orme at 9:34 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm reminded of a specific episode of the Cow & Chicken cartoon, where the Red Guy has a machine that "can suck cheese out of anything." He used it to make all kinds of cheese. Bucket cheese. Water tower cheese. Weasel cheese! The substances produced were fairly disgusting, and have given me a negative prejudice of what donkey cheese must be like.
posted by JHarris at 9:36 AM on December 11, 2012


I guess you could make human breast milk cheese, but WHY?

Donkey cheese? eeeeh if you must!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 9:37 AM on December 11, 2012


There's a Guy Fieri / donkey sauce joke in here somewhere but the fumes from the platter of Spicy Blackened Enchilada Cajun Ass Nacho Popper Poutine with Extra Diarrhea has temporarily blinded me to it.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:39 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think the rarest cheese would be bat cheese from the suborder micropchiroptera. Because bats are tiny!
posted by Mister_A at 9:39 AM on December 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
posted by the painkiller at 9:40 AM on December 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to make the first Guy Fieri joke in a thread about donkey cheese.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:41 AM on December 11, 2012 [9 favorites]


Metafilter: Could you milk me?
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:41 AM on December 11, 2012


A female donkey is called a jenny. A group of them, jennies.

867-5309 (Jenny) takes on a more sinister tone with this knowledge.
posted by emelenjr at 9:42 AM on December 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Finally, my chance to break into the Artisanal Handmade Donkey Cheese scene is here. I should buy some overalls.

[edit: darn it, didn't see Wordshore's "artisanal" joke upthread.]
posted by phong3d at 9:43 AM on December 11, 2012


why is the phrase "donkey cheese" making me shudder?

Because it's uncomfortably close to the phrase "ass cheese."
posted by snottydick at 9:48 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I guess you could make human breast milk cheese, but WHY?

I thought you actually couldn't because the composition of human milk is different enough from the milks we make cheese out of that our usual cheesemaking techniques don't work.
posted by Copronymus at 9:48 AM on December 11, 2012


Poor old Novak.

His mum told him a $500/lb Serbian cheese was a racket and he's gone and cornered the market.
posted by MuffinMan at 9:54 AM on December 11, 2012


Одлично!!!
posted by jph at 9:55 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Dude, this sucks! Now I can't have this thing that I never knew existed til a couple days ago.
posted by Mister_A at 9:57 AM on December 11, 2012


Dude, this sucks! Now I can't have this thing that I never knew existed til a couple days ago.

Ah well. Hopefully human milk ice cream will be back on the menu soon.
posted by Wordshore at 10:00 AM on December 11, 2012


A female donkey is called a jenny...

867-5309 (Jenny) takes on a more sinister tone with this knowledge.


I pinned her name and number on the wall. Blindfolded, even.
posted by zippy at 10:08 AM on December 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


And in case you were wondering how donkey cheese is made
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:22 AM on December 11, 2012


A donkey is an ass, right? Thus this is ass cheese?
posted by SpannerX at 10:24 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am declaring a moratorium on 'ass cheese' jokes.
posted by Mister_A at 10:32 AM on December 11, 2012


A female donkey is called a jenny. A group of them, jennies.

It is still from the block.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:41 AM on December 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Now I want to market pitbull cheese. Each block comes wrapped in a studded leather collar!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:42 AM on December 11, 2012


Because it's uncomfortably close to the phrase "ass cheese."
posted by snottydick at 12:48 PM on December 11


Eponysterical?
posted by yoga at 10:42 AM on December 11, 2012


So this cheese - it would be udder-ly asinine, yes?
posted by chinston at 11:05 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cheese-related Mitchell & Webb sketch about a robot.
posted by Authorized User at 11:13 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought you actually couldn't because the composition of human milk is different enough from the milks we make cheese out of that our usual cheesemaking techniques don't work.

My understanding (and no, I'm not going to confirm this at work) is that human milk contains too little protein to properly curdle.
posted by gauche at 11:28 AM on December 11, 2012


Boyfriend is going to visit family in Serbia in a couple weeks. Now I know what I want for Christmas! (Novak Djokovich, not the damn cheese. Duh.)

Also, I'd mention that, in typical French fashion, Le Monde just noted that he had purchased the entire supply of the world's most expensive cheese. With a hint of jealousy...
posted by jph at 11:33 AM on December 11, 2012


My understanding (and no, I'm not going to confirm this at work) is that human milk contains too little protein to properly curdle.

Breast milk cheese on the menu in New York
The Human Cheese Project
Breast Milk Ice Cream
posted by ook at 11:36 AM on December 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


I do not know why I had that information at my fingertips
posted by ook at 11:37 AM on December 11, 2012


The recipe and instructions for making Breastmilk Butter seems overly technical and complicated, but there are plenty of other options.
posted by Wordshore at 11:52 AM on December 11, 2012


Eponysterical

Is there any comment I can make that doesn't result in someone using this word?
posted by snottydick at 12:08 PM on December 11, 2012 [6 favorites]


The next time I finish all my work before quitting time I'm going to tear off my shirt.
posted by digsrus at 12:09 PM on December 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


(2) ...
(3) Profit!
posted by Joe in Australia at 12:28 PM on December 11, 2012


Donkey Cheese, darling Donkey Cheese
Thank you for all the jennies
On the farm, beside the barn
Was the place we'd meet, second teat, Serbian treat, milk so sweet

Donkey Cheese, darling Donkey Cheese
You cost a lot, in terms of fees
Guarantees, for my franchisees
Contracts inter-twined, for all time, all the rind, you are mine

Donkey Cheese, darling Donkey Cheese
Better than all of France's bries
Though some may be a bit ill at ease
I've got expertise, and I sees, this will please, Donkey cheese
posted by Kabanos at 12:45 PM on December 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


"The cheese, known as pule, is made only from donkeys and it takes 25 litres of fresh donkey milk to make a single kilogram."

I'm starting to think this cheese is for asses.
posted by nowhere man at 1:23 PM on December 11, 2012


I am declaring a moratorium on 'ass cheese' jokes.

MeTa.
posted by slogger at 1:40 PM on December 11, 2012


Christ, what a jackass.
posted by I'm Doing the Dishes at 1:46 PM on December 11, 2012


Donkey cheese, or DONKEY TEETH!
posted by dd42 at 3:48 PM on December 11, 2012


Hmm, QI may be wrong about this one:

Stephen
They're much rarer. When the female horse gives birth to a mule, 99.99 percent of female mules are sterile, and the males are invariably sterile, but they don't know they are. So they have to be gelded so that they don't shag all the time.

What about donkey's milk. Do you know anything about that?

Phill
Donkey milk.

Stephen
Yeah.

Phill
It probably makes an amazing cheese.

Stephen
Well, oddly enough, it's the one thing it doesn't.


Phill
No?

Johnny
[to Phill] But come on, you're naïve! Sometimes, honestly . . .

Phill
[petulantly] I want donkey cheese!

(QI S04E10)
posted by doctor_negative at 4:37 PM on December 11, 2012


I suppose that this is apropos here -- I'm currently peer-reviewing a scientific paper on lactation curves for Italian donkeys. The principal use of the milk is, of course, cheese production. I have not had much success in identifying a source of funding for my long-planned project to develop proper lactation curves for humans. Right after I come up with a prediction of human birth dates that's not terrible. Seriously, human scientists, you need to get with the times and start collecting good phenotypes. :-)
posted by wintermind at 4:47 PM on December 11, 2012


Wondering if they will serve beef brains with the donkey cheese...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 9:12 PM on December 11, 2012


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