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December 13, 2012 1:20 PM   Subscribe

The A.V. Club have just released their annual list of noteworthy/insane/ridiculous band names.
posted by Frobenius Twist (95 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
(Also, for those who are interested in A.V. Club inside baseball, Keith Phipps is leaving the A.V. Club. Sadface.)
posted by Frobenius Twist at 1:21 PM on December 13, 2012


[Oh, and here is a direct link to page 2 of the article]
posted by Frobenius Twist at 1:25 PM on December 13, 2012


That Satan's Wrath logo is actually pretty good, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:26 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


To be fair, all the good names have already been taken.
posted by mazola at 1:27 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Highlights for me:
Terri Schiavo Dance Party
Edgar Allan Slow
Coke Dick Motorcycle Awesome
Uncle Bad Touch
posted by Phreesh at 1:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


If that photo of Eyeconoclast isn't a 4chan meme already, I don't understand the internet.
posted by darksasami at 1:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


The lead singer of Eyeconoclast looks exactly like the Mighty Monarch.
posted by superquail at 1:32 PM on December 13, 2012


Encoffination: for when bannination just doesn't go far enough?
posted by beryllium at 1:33 PM on December 13, 2012


They accidentally put one full-on fuckin-A awesome name in there. I speak, of course, of Caddywhompus.
posted by gompa at 1:33 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


The best part is filing "Skandalism" under "Yes, this kind of thing still happens".
posted by Jpfed at 1:34 PM on December 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


I like to think that I have an awesome band name ready, if I can just get a band together.
posted by drezdn at 1:36 PM on December 13, 2012


I'm kind of relieved that none of my friends' bands made it onto the list this year. Well, relieved or disappointed. I don't know how to feel.
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:38 PM on December 13, 2012


Free band name:

Deine Kabel
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:47 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


More than absurd names, I'm bothered by shit bands using interesting band/album names. For example:

Coldworker's "The Contaminated Void". Should be an awesome crossover thrash album about zombies in space (a la Municipal Waste's "The Fatal Feast", but it's just...meh stuff about nothing (and I like grindcore).

Buried Inside's "Chronoclast". Should be sludgy prog metal about time travel but it's boring metalcore about the tyranny of the 40-hour work week. Yawn.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:49 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Just in case you don't make it all the way through the "miscellany" section on the second page:
Dumptruck Butterlips
posted by evidenceofabsence at 1:50 PM on December 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


Free band name:

Deine Kabel


There is nein kabel.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:52 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Es gibt kein Nabel.
posted by newmoistness at 1:54 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Why is phipps leaving? Something to do with the recent Onion shakeups?
posted by Think_Long at 1:55 PM on December 13, 2012


Why just this morning I saw a septuagenarian in a bright, asymmetrically patterned sweater and thought, "I bet there's a band called Cosby Sweater."
posted by bendybendy at 1:56 PM on December 13, 2012


I tried saying Fartbarf aloud. I instantly felt ashamed and depressed.

The fart sets you up for laughs, but then barf reminds you of every flu and food poisoning you ever had.

Maybe I'm just particularly anti-vomiting, though.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:00 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


The norovirus that many people have called stomach flu should be called Fartbarf Disease instead. Many places go with Winter Vomiting Disease but that only covers one end of the spectrum.
posted by perhapses at 2:04 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'll give it up for "The Allah Las" and "A Good Rogering."
posted by Navelgazer at 2:04 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


Free band name: SOLD OUT

Besides having a double meaning, you will have a built-in excuse for why nobody ever shows up for your performances.
posted by spock at 2:09 PM on December 13, 2012


Free band name:

Indentured Varmints
posted by univac at 2:10 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


The fart sets you up for laughs, but then barf reminds you of every flu and food poisoning you ever had.

It's the human experience in a single, perfect little capsule.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 2:17 PM on December 13, 2012


I'm waiting for "FartBarf II: The Revenge"
posted by blue_beetle at 2:19 PM on December 13, 2012


How were there not already like a thousand bands called Satan's Wrath?
posted by shakespeherian at 2:22 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I misread "Smoochknob" as "Smoochmob" and I have to say I like the latter more.
posted by invitapriore at 2:24 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Potatoes Gonna Potate." Kinda love it.
posted by me3dia at 2:25 PM on December 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


Fartbarf actually sounds way funnier if you enunciate the "t" in "fart" rather than going for the usual glottalized "t."
posted by invitapriore at 2:27 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


If it farts, it's funny. If it barfs, it's not funny.
posted by Egg Shen at 2:27 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have to say, I am really enjoying listening to The Jingle Punks Hipster Orchestra. If my life were a sitcom, I now believe their cover of "Lithium" would be the theme song.
posted by Tesseractive at 2:28 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, this was an inauspicious time to realize that I sometimes involuntarily vocalize words that I'm reading when I'm thinking about how they're pronounced.
posted by invitapriore at 2:28 PM on December 13, 2012 [8 favorites]


You're thinking of Satan's Wrath (UK) maybe?
posted by Mister_A at 2:29 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


In all fairness, I really could go for a peanut butter lovesicle.
posted by Flunkie at 2:29 PM on December 13, 2012


Free Band Names:
Centipede Afterburner
Midnight Brake-Job
Chunk Overdrive
Mr Anal and the Don't Touch That's
You've been Satan'ed
Tire
Labradork Reciever
Fist Missile
Coffee Table Face Slam
Urbanite Kryptonight
One Drunk Bus Driver
Rebel Dayworkers
Heal with Steel and the Surgical Techs
Phred Phelp's Phabulous Phive
posted by The Power Nap at 2:29 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


... and it looks like that Eyeconoclast guy could use one, too.
posted by Flunkie at 2:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Danny Glover and the Lethal Weapons is almost inspired.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 2:31 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Fuck that noise, Neon Piss is a great name for a band... and they rock too!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:33 PM on December 13, 2012


My perennial favorite:
Shitty Shitty Band Band
posted by kirkaracha at 2:33 PM on December 13, 2012 [9 favorites]


I seem to remember, back in my high school days, seeing a 7" by a racist skinhead ska group called Skastika. I really don't feel like going to the places on the internet where searching for that band might take me, however.
posted by item at 2:41 PM on December 13, 2012


Oh, and in Item's Book of All-time Worst Band Names, the major-label champion is still Hoobastank.
posted by item at 2:43 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


When I was at uni there was a punk band knocking about called The Fuck City Shitters... cue a ton of people complaining about there gig flyers / posters until (despite a very right-on article in the student paper re free speech) they ending up changing to FCS
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:46 PM on December 13, 2012


It's been a while since I've looked at the AV Club. Are their articles always this poorly edited and designed these days?
posted by item at 2:49 PM on December 13, 2012


Well, relieved or disappointed. I don't know how to feel.

Every year, I'm sad our band didn't make it.
posted by lumpenprole at 2:51 PM on December 13, 2012


Tonight at Carnegie Hall: An Evening with Fartbarf
posted by dr_dank at 2:51 PM on December 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


Yow-
Moron Mountain
Album Alcoholic Lesbian Velociraptor features songs like “Shit, Secret Jew Dick” (which opens with an Annie Hall sample) and “668 (Neighbor Of The Beast)”


ALCOHOLIC LESBIAN VELOCIRAPTOR!

There is no way I'm going to actually listen to that, it can't possibly be as good as it should.
Also:

Stankbot Tyranny
The drummer of this band is 11 years old.


Same deal, but I think I would pay to see them live.
posted by hap_hazard at 3:01 PM on December 13, 2012


Malicious Dismemberment

Not to be confused with Ultimately Necessary But Really Quite Unfortunate Dismemberment.
posted by threeants at 3:16 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've seen a RUN DMT shirt somewhere before but thought it was just a stoner joke and didn't realize it was an actual band. I just looked them up on beatport hoping for massive psychedelic awesomeness, but they're more of a drum & bass group... I think my head might explode if I tried to listen to that while smoking DMT. Then again maybe that's the point.
posted by Mars Saxman at 3:25 PM on December 13, 2012


Every single one of these names is better than Cherry Poppin' Daddies.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:36 PM on December 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


I would go see "You Can't Win, Charlie Brown" and buy their t-shirt.
posted by drezdn at 3:48 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Eyeconoclast: "I had fun once, and it was awful."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:49 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Saddest Landscape: Wasn't there already a band called Boston?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:54 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


My favourite band names are a couple from the '90s: Day-Glo Abortions; and: Me, Mom, and Morgentaler.
posted by anothermug at 4:02 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh whatever. At least half of all band names are crap until the band gains credibility. Alice in Chains? Morcheeba? Daft Punk? The Dead Milkmen? All really stupid names.

Happily you can generate your own stupid band names!
posted by DarlingBri at 4:12 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Tonight on Great Performances: FartBarf, A Life Remembered.
posted by vibrotronica at 4:14 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


"The Allah Las"

Ali Mavers?
posted by Sys Rq at 4:15 PM on December 13, 2012


You guys, they weren't kidding: Rebuilding the Rights of Statues are really, really good.
posted by Tiresias at 4:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


You guys, maybe the lead singer of Eyeconoclast always looks like that because Batman threw him in a vat of Frownex, and all this teasing is going to push him over the edge into a sternness-themed crime spree.
posted by No-sword at 4:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


Now TWO bands that I've been in have been included in this list! Hooray!
posted by smartyboots at 4:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


I love how the frontman for Eyeconoclast is trying to give the camera the scary death metal face, but he just looks like Robyn Hitchcock constipated.
posted by jonp72 at 4:28 PM on December 13, 2012


Not gonna lie.... I kind of want a t-shirt from Cilantro Boombox....
posted by schmod at 4:36 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


You guys, I don't think The Prep School Tragedy actually went to prep school.
posted by naoko at 4:48 PM on December 13, 2012


my favorite from the 60s - the peanut butter conspiracy

first and i believe only album - the peanut butter conspiracy is spreading

listenable but kind of light and unmemorable jefferson airplane type pop, very well recorded
posted by pyramid termite at 4:51 PM on December 13, 2012


invitapriore - i don't know how you don't have a million favorites for that comment.
posted by nadawi at 4:54 PM on December 13, 2012


I think I discovered a great new dare for my various friends: watch/listen to A Nice Vibe's I Love You near the bottom of the list. In it's entirety! You must watch/listen to ALL OF IT! No drinking allowed until it's over!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:56 PM on December 13, 2012


Why is phipps leaving? Something to do with the recent Onion shakeups?

Yeah, seriously, what the hell's up with that? I always thought of the AV Club as a place that was making it on the web.
posted by Diablevert at 5:19 PM on December 13, 2012


I sometimes edit the concert guide in Sweden's best heavy metal magazine. I really should start writing down all the good bad names I come across doing that. The worst worst band name I've ever seen was Campsite, though. I'm all for things being band names - Magazine, Television, Refrigerator et al - but Campsite is just so uninspired and... lame. It's not funny, it's not gross, it's not ridiculous, it's... nothing. Nobody in the history of anything will utter the phrase "yeah, my favourite band is Campsite". Whatever were they thinking?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I always look forward to this list, mainly because I keep waiting for some bunch of deranged musicians to top my personal favorite from maybe 3-5 years ago. Because I am an awful person, it always makes me laugh to think about it:

Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome.
posted by Skot at 5:42 PM on December 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


I once was temporarily cornered at a youth hostel by a drunk Polish kid who was raving to me about his favorite band, which was named Burlap Cashmere. Just getting to learn that band name helped me forgive him for holding me up from getting back to my room when I was tired.

I think my favorite one from this batch is "Thus: Owls".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've always thought that Snow Patrol was a terrible name for a band.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:40 PM on December 13, 2012


Somewhat related - another blog has its own list of their top 30 album covers from this year.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:49 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Onion shakeups

Least popular State Fair drink ever.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:24 PM on December 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


Traumatic Anal Devastation.
Didn't they used to open up for the Butthole Surfers?
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:43 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Now TWO bands that I've been in have been included in this list! Hooray!

Do tell...
posted by item at 8:04 PM on December 13, 2012


Hey now, come on. Wrinkle Neck Mules, Bear Suit Sucker Punch, and Hooray For Everything are pretty great band names.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:45 PM on December 13, 2012


And also relatedly, Pitchfork has their list of the worst album covers of the year.
posted by Frobenius Twist at 8:50 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I listened to a few The Jingle Punks Hipster Orchestra songs but it gave me the uncanny feeling that I was in a telephone hold queue. They're nuts if they aren't going after that market.
posted by cmonkey at 9:25 PM on December 13, 2012


Some band names from music I have on my computer, although I have not actually listened to all of them:

The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die
The Birds Are Spies, They Report to the Trees
BADBADNOTGOOD
Suffocate for Fuck Sake
Meanwhile, Back in Communist Russia...
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
Giraffes? Giraffes!

I'll be adding some of the ones from this list later on. I already have a couple.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 9:35 PM on December 13, 2012


I seem to remember, back in my high school days, seeing a 7" by a racist skinhead ska group called Skastika. I really don't feel like going to the places on the internet where searching for that band might take me, however.

I have no such qualms.

You can all google if you want to find the T-shirt of the skanking swaztika (it's a swaztika with a little hat! Because hat will distract everyone from the distinctive red background and white circle motiff and not make you look like a Nazi).

They are apparently "A 3rd wave ska band from Cleveland, Ohio. They are not racist (though the name may appear so)" according to Urban Dictionary. But that's as much as I could find.

I am curious about this:
Punk Funk Mob
“Formed in 2007, this Bay Area band has been most accurately illustrated as the Ramones meets Funkadelic with Betty Davis on vocals.”

That makes me want to click on the link so hard, but if I do it it won't sound as good in my head.
posted by Mezentian at 9:50 PM on December 13, 2012


And also relatedly, Pitchfork has their list of the worst album covers of the year.
Big NSFW warning on that one for the large photo of the erect penis there.
I scrolled down and it hit me in the eyes.

But, yeah, those are awful. Including the David Byrne one.
Nice to see Jessie Slaughter's fave band Blood On The Dancefloor are still kickin'. I guess that means he got away from the accusations she made, or she recanted.
posted by Mezentian at 9:56 PM on December 13, 2012


(it's a swaztika with a little hat! Because hat will distract everyone from the distinctive red background and white circle motiff and not make you look like a Nazi).

It's too bad they didn't try to score any irony points by having a checkerboard background.
posted by Jpfed at 10:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


My god, those first three covers on that list of worst album covers has the ieghtuies revival going to some dark, dark places.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:28 PM on December 13, 2012


My god, those first three covers on that list of worst album covers has the ieghtuies revival going to some dark, dark places.

Frankie says: Relax.
Choose life, man.

And wake me up before you go go.
posted by Mezentian at 11:53 PM on December 13, 2012


I have to stand up for Dark Dark Dark, both as a band and a bad name, particularly since they went ahead and called an album Bright Bright Bright.
posted by thesmallmachine at 12:25 AM on December 14, 2012


How could I forget Hamfatter, the Dragon's Den band... but then again, the British record buying public soon did, bdum tish!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:58 AM on December 14, 2012


To my mind, none of those are as regrettable as the excruciating "Tame Impala", which strikes me as some sort of Platonic Form of the terrible band name. It seems like it was produced by a program designed to construct a two word band name that perfectly combines wimpiness, clichéd structure, staggering lack of cool and clunkingly clueless contrivance. I haven't actually heard any of that band's music but if it's anything like my description of the name then... well, I guess I'd have to forgive them.
posted by Decani at 2:12 AM on December 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


"Mick's Jaguar" is a pretty hilarious.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:12 AM on December 14, 2012


I don't follow these lists too closely, has The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza ever made the lists?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:24 AM on December 14, 2012


Every year I try to navigate all the "best music of 20**" lists, and every year it's basically "whatever songs happened to get inexplicably popular in 20**, regardless of merit." But this is different! I've totally been listening to Rebuilding the Rights of Statues and Jingle Punks Hipster Orchestra all morning!
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:57 AM on December 14, 2012


Fartbarf? Why not Barfart? You get three meanings. They are going for meaning, right?
posted by orme at 9:07 AM on December 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


There was a band at my friend's college in the 90s: Kevin's Brother Jimmy. I always thought that was pretty good.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:01 AM on December 14, 2012


The A.V. Club is laughing at Sep7ember, but they have SEO figured out.

Sarchasm is a clever name for a band. If nothing else, it teaches fans the correct pronunciation of "chasm".

Rebuilding the Rights of Statues are good!
posted by subdee at 10:03 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


A tiny selection from the note on my phone:

The Lumpy Heartbeats
Funky Midnight Applicator
The BLAM Ultimatum
Downstairs Brownie
Ding Fatigue
Airquote Rampage
Moho Disco (Mohorovičić Discontinuity)
Classic Brownout Scenario
Bassoon Inspection
Marathon in Corduroy
Vaginal Thunderdome
Trackstand Breakthrough
All-purpose Nuclear Bedtime Story
The Mayan Caper
Executive Timber
Nothing is Lost
Arcane Kinematics
Shart Jorts
Yay, Trebuchet!
Moped Etymology
Slapwrap Ball-gag
Braincake
The Wild Ninjas of Hampstead Heath
Fully Automatic Monkey Fun Hat

I wish someone would be in a band with me.
posted by wilberforce at 3:14 AM on December 17, 2012


Vaginal Thunderdome
Two men enter....

I wish someone would be in a band with me.
Change Bassoon Inspection to "Barsoom Inspection" and I will be there with my French Horn.
posted by Mezentian at 3:29 AM on December 17, 2012


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