My diamond ring scratched my iphone 5. help.

December 27, 2012 6:51 PM

Silicon Valley can solve most of your first world problems [via]
posted by special-k (30 comments total)

I don't know what I was expecting, but that site really made me feel the need to go clear my cookies and browser history.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:13 PM on December 27, 2012 [5 favorites]

I was really expecting everyone is mean to me on Reddit to link to Mefi. Apparently not.
posted by special-k at 7:14 PM on December 27, 2012 [9 favorites]

Snarky snark is snarky. Previously, on Metatalk.
posted by Nelson at 7:17 PM on December 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Obviously MeFi needs to be on there in order to assage our wounded egos, but what first world problem could MeFi solve?
posted by subbes at 7:18 PM on December 27, 2012

So, it's some kind of donation-seeking site?
posted by Ardiril at 7:18 PM on December 27, 2012

Physician, heal thyself.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:22 PM on December 27, 2012

But, what if I have 37 dollars? What then, Mr. Smarty Silicon Valley?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 7:40 PM on December 27, 2012

My corn tortillas want me to like them on Facebook. Fuck the future.
posted by growabrain at 7:42 PM on December 27, 2012 [10 favorites]

This website does not amuse me as much as I hoped it would.
posted by box at 8:07 PM on December 27, 2012 [3 favorites]

But, what if I have 37 dollars? What then, Mr. Smarty Silicon Valley?

Congrats, you qualify for the most expensive of Digital Scout reward tiers, courtesy of another site that should be on this list!
posted by Apocryphon at 8:21 PM on December 27, 2012

wow.
posted by migurski at 8:50 PM on December 27, 2012

migurski: what you've never seen a store selling prospecting tools before? Suckers need sifts and headlamps if theyre gonna fail to find gold properly.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:55 PM on December 27, 2012 [6 favorites]

Urgh. Klout.
posted by arcticseal at 9:00 PM on December 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

I’m familiar with the idea, just surprised to see it back after last time.
posted by migurski at 9:17 PM on December 27, 2012

I haven't done this in a while, but it's definitely a...


Shit Sandwich™.
posted by dbiedny at 9:56 PM on December 27, 2012

Obviously MeFi needs to be on there in order to assage our wounded egos, but what first world problem could MeFi solve?

1001 ways to cook beans? How to write snarky taglines?
posted by smirkette at 9:57 PM on December 27, 2012

As much as I love this, can we please just skip all this amateur snark and bring back the professionals?
posted by bbuda at 10:07 PM on December 27, 2012

Is this where I can talk about how "first world problems" is the stupidest meme ever? For one, people's problems are actually pretty equivalent as experienced. That's why everyone would rather make $10,000 more than their neighbor than just make objectively "more." Denigrating people because their problems aren't *bad enough* is crass and stupid. Also? Maybe if you donated some cash or cows or mosquito nets every time you said it, then I would care more. But you don't. You just think flagellating yourself for how "unimportant" some problems are is proof that you are "good." Ugh.
posted by dame at 10:17 PM on December 27, 2012 [7 favorites]

"But, what if I have 37 dollars? What then, Mr. Smarty Silicon Valley?"

Then you can start your own Co-Prosperity Cloud.
posted by mbrubeck at 10:37 PM on December 27, 2012 [5 favorites]

Is this where I can talk about how "first world problems" is the stupidest meme ever?

Sure.

Best if you can talk about .biz domains however.
posted by rough ashlar at 11:17 PM on December 27, 2012

Then you can start your own Co-Prosperity Cloud.

I saw it when it was first announced. So glad to see this shenanigan gain more support. and all faqs that start with Is this a joke? are the best ones.
posted by special-k at 11:31 PM on December 27, 2012

Oh Jesus.

Most "startups" aren't even startups anymore. Startup just means your CEO is under forty and was a film or music major.
posted by deathpanels at 11:35 PM on December 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Is this where I can talk about how "first world problems" is the stupidest meme ever?

I believe that thread has already been, but I can't remember where it was now. Last I saw it there seemed to be some level of agreement that "first world problems" was acceptable as a means of self-deprecation but crossed a line when it came to labelling other peoples problems.

This feels to me more like the former.
posted by dumbland at 12:02 AM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

Is this where I can talk about how "first world problems" is the stupidest meme ever? For one, people's problems are actually pretty equivalent as experienced...Denigrating people because their problems aren't *bad enough* is crass and stupid.

The proper version of the meme is not about denigrating other people's problems. [curse you, ninja dumbland!]

Used correctly, the meme is about putting my own problems in perspective, realizing how minor they are--and how many things about my life are great--and laughing at myself.

Having compassion for people living in poverty and other kinds of suffering is also good, but it's not really what the "first world problems" meme is about.
posted by straight at 12:07 AM on December 28, 2012 [7 favorites]

Is this where I can talk about how "first world problems" is the stupidest meme ever?

I believe that thread has already been, but I can't remember where it was now.

This was a couple of weeks ago on MeTa: Could we possibly stop using the phrase "first world problem?"
posted by Godbert at 6:05 AM on December 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

prescriptivist
posted by LogicalDash at 6:05 AM on December 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

Most "startups" aren't even startups anymore

The trick is to get people to work like people work for startups, around the clock and sacrificing everything else, but without any equity stake.
posted by thelonius at 6:11 AM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]

Need a first-world problem solved?

Too lazy to use a pulldown menu to read a bunch of jokes.

Safeway is a whole 10 minutes away, but I really need twinkies.
My house’s mood lighting doesn’t match all of my moods.
I like to rant on my opinions but nobody ever listens to me.
I need to use both of my hands to unplug my $400 cell phone
Skateboards look cool, but using my legs is strenuous.
I order too much stuff on Amazon and keep missing deliveries.
I can’t be fucked to wait in line for the new iPhone 5
Shopping around for a shirt that fits me properly would mean I'd have to leave my couch.
No matter how hard I try, I cannot find a way to share and discover amazing images!
Excel Functions? I'm still looking for a technical co-founder.
My social networking sites are too social.
I just have too many social networks for me to keep track of.
If I call a cab, I'd have to actually talk to someone, and yellow really clashes with my shoes.
There are moments when I don’t know what celebrities all my friends are endorsing.
Not all of my friends know what I think about everything all the time.
I’m nostalgic for an era before I was born.
I feel weird not looking at a monitor constantly.
My friends owe me money, but cash is such a hassle.
My iPhone alarm goes off right in the best part of my sexy dreams.
Using keys to open the door to my house is really time consuming.
Autocomplete doesn't work for adding new contacts, but typing whole words takes effort.
Everyone on Reddit is too mean to me.
I want to blog, but I don't want to type anything.
I have $36.
I need a number to validate my existence.
I need entertainment, but deciding which link to click is difficult.
I created a stupid website listing solutions to first-world problems and now I need a business model.
My watch doesn't have a touchscreen.
I'm a 3-month veteran startup ninja rockstar seeking my next 90-day engagement.
I spend too much time on social media sites, don't have enough willpower to stop, and am too lazy to edit my hosts file
I graduated from a top university but my high paying job makes it hard to find a girlfriend

posted by gwint at 10:09 AM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

Heh, I thought these were just going to be silly jokes, not real companies :P
posted by delmoi at 10:06 PM on December 29, 2012

I saw it when it was first announced. So glad to see this shenanigan gain more support. and all faqs that start with Is this a joke? are the best ones.

It's a cute idea, the problem is the effort required to actually file the paperwork to issue $37 of convertible debt probably wouldn't cover the cost of actually issuing it. The marketing/PR value of being a member might actually be worth something - depending on how it goes. It's a riff on YCombinator, which doesn't invest very much but gets you a ton of exposure and "networking opportunities"
posted by delmoi at 10:11 PM on December 29, 2012