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Everyone wants to pet Riker
January 8, 2013 4:39 PM   Subscribe

Original ST:TNG makeup and wardrobe footage from 1987
posted by urbanwhaleshark (83 comments total) 31 users marked this as a favorite

 
Make it so, number one.
posted by Bwentman at 4:42 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Brent Spiner's O-Face at :57 for those wanting to get right to the good stuff.
posted by sourwookie at 4:44 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I appreciate the fact the LeVar is totally wearing his Reading Rainbow clothes.
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:45 PM on January 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


That visor never stopped looking to me like the hair clip that inspired it. They really should have worked on it a little more before running with it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:46 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Looking back, I'm surprised they didn't give Troi a batik mu-mu and dangly bronze earrings.
posted by sourwookie at 4:50 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from that thing we found when we cleaned out Cheryl's desk.
posted by griphus at 4:51 PM on January 8, 2013 [53 favorites]


Is that Gene Roddenberry messing with Frakes' hair?
posted by jiawen at 4:53 PM on January 8, 2013


I am glad that man-skants only lasted a few episodes.

(See? My 1989 Haloween costume DID make sense - so there!)
posted by helmutdog at 4:57 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Tasha's clearly laughing at Deanna's transgalactic hooker outfit.
posted by phaedon at 4:58 PM on January 8, 2013


Should I mention my absolute new favorite filler text generator here? Yes, I should: rikeripsum.com
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 5:00 PM on January 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


A reminder of how close we came to giving Troi truly amazing hair.
posted by ckape at 5:00 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


You're welcome.
posted by phaedon at 5:00 PM on January 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Man, years later and I'm still freaked out whenever I see Brent Spiner display any emotion other than "mildly puzzled".
posted by brundlefly at 5:05 PM on January 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


God. They're so young.
posted by likeso at 5:08 PM on January 8, 2013 [12 favorites]


Tasha's clearly laughing at Deanna's transgalactic hooker outfit.

Marina Siritis once referred to it in an interview as "The cosmic cheerleader outfit."

...Wil Wheaton does not look happy with that one potential hairstyle at all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:13 PM on January 8, 2013


Make it so, number one.

Oddly, I got about 4 seconds in before I said "Make it stop." There was something really creepy about all the first Data set with the yellow eyes and not-even foundation -- but especially in that pose, he looks like he was a jaundiced reject from a Patrick Nagel themed nightmare.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:14 PM on January 8, 2013


ah man, i love the man skants! i was sad to see them disappear. if you're gonna put the girls in them and you're arguing that you're part of an equal society, then we gotta show some of that man leg.
posted by nadawi at 5:15 PM on January 8, 2013 [9 favorites]


Oh my
posted by ericost at 5:15 PM on January 8, 2013


Wesley on Wesley.
posted by Chuffy at 5:16 PM on January 8, 2013


ah man, i love the man skants! i was sad to see them disappear. if you're gonna put the girls in them and you're arguing that you're part of an equal society, then we gotta show some of that man leg.
posted by nadawi at 5:15 PM on January 8 [+][!]


My objection to man skants is strictly professional. As an member of a Constellation Class Starfleet vessel, the inadvertant sexy flashing is extremely distracting and makes it difficult to concentrate on my engineering duties. I am sure you are familiar with the term "Shatnered"?
posted by helmutdog at 5:20 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


but wouldn't that objection be to skants no matter who wears them?
posted by nadawi at 5:21 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


The opposite of Jumping the Shark, Growing the Beard is the definitive moment when a television series begins to become noticeably better in quality.
posted by Tacodog at 5:21 PM on January 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


I've always wondered the percentage of people who watched TNG when it began who were already familiar with LeVar Burton from Roots and slash or Reading Rainbow. I had no idea who he was when I started watching TNG, and figured his Reading Rainbow job was a result of him being on Star Trek..

Shoulda kept the Jheri Curl though.. with the VISOR and Jheri combo, he looks like a galactic pimp..
posted by mediocre at 5:23 PM on January 8, 2013


Also, that Data test footage.. high octane nightmare fuel..

Humorously enough, me and my friends started calling that TVTropes entry by the exact same name in the early 90's. Growing The Beard was when a show went from promising to awesome. Jerry Orbach joining the Law & Order cast and season 2 of Power Rangers with the addition of the Green Ranger were the most obvious examples..
posted by mediocre at 5:25 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I had not previously heard the word "skants" before and my life has been immeasurably improved by exposure to both the term and the item of clothing that it describes.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:27 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I dunno, to me the immediate visual signifier of decent TNG is the high uniform collar. But "growing the beard" makes for a better TV Tropes title than "sewing the collar."
posted by zsazsa at 5:39 PM on January 8, 2013


I started out being rather irritated that the YouTube poster termed it "creepy" for no apparent reas--WTF SPINER PUT DOWN THAT MAGNIFYING GLASS FOR THE LOVE OF LANDRU

Also, Wheaton's haircut reminds me strongly that the character was originally Leslie Crusher.

Also too, I've always suspected that the man skants were put in for one reason and one reason only, and that was Roddenberry being irritated at talking at conventions about how perfect the future would be, and someone would always, but always bring up the sexist uniforms in TOS, and he'd fume and seethe and think when I'm in charge again, I'll prove them wrong, see if I don't.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:42 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


These threads make me so sad that Wheaton isn't mefi's own.
posted by elizardbits at 5:43 PM on January 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Was the Jheri curl guy actually LeVar Burton, though? I didn't think he was.

My (mildly embarrassing) reaction to that guy, then the lady, then LeVar Burton was:posted by Flunkie at 5:45 PM on January 8, 2013 [27 favorites]


This is the best episode of Star Trek ever directed by David Lynch.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:55 PM on January 8, 2013 [31 favorites]


This brings back the memories of that first season, when my gay housemate had the BIGGEST crush on Riker. Absolute silence, not a single comment allowed during the airing of each episode. He would get visibly upset when there was even the slightest hint of romance between Riker and any female. It was almost eerie to watch him, because outside of this behavior, he was the sanest member of our household.

Then the beard showed up. Holy moly, I've never seen a person take a failed romance IRL that hard. I think there was a solid month of him moping around. We were now not allowed to watch the show on the community TV, and had to huddle in my room around my little eleven inch TV, volume down so he wouldn't have to hear it.

Fortunately he found romance when he was being solitary and gloomy at his favorite coffee shop that brought him back around. But we still never risked watching the show in the main room as long as he lived with us, as none of us wanted to be responsible for some sort of relapse.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 5:56 PM on January 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


LeVar Burton, still bringing the awesome.
posted by tautological at 6:00 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Looking back, I'm surprised they didn't give Troi a batik mu-mu and dangly bronze earrings.

How hot would that have been?
posted by bongo_x at 6:03 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Was the Jheri curl guy actually LeVar Burton, though?

Dude, the curl is a red herring. It's all about the pimp stache! Imagine what TNG would be like if instead of the Reading Rainbow guy, we had a Rick James backup dancer in engineering.
posted by phaedon at 6:05 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I see you laughing at Troi's ridiculous parade of hairstyles, Tasha Yar, and I get it - they are ridiculous - but I wouldn't laugh too hard. They're totally gonna kill you off in the first season.

At least you'll get to consummate that sweet thing you clearly already have for Data before you die, though.
posted by koeselitz at 6:07 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I hadn't realized that Troi was wearing contacts (2:51). It makes her look more empathic than the frizzy 'do, certainly.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:10 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh man, Troi's frizzy hair is the exact same perm my mom wore throughout my chlidhood.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:11 PM on January 8, 2013


So much fluffy, fluffy 80s hair that was tested but never used. I mourn the loss of Chia Trek.
posted by maudlin at 6:14 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ok, one more unnecessarily ridiculous TNG link
posted by phaedon at 6:14 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have tried to watch ST:TNG, since it is constantly rerun on local TV, but I can find it nothing but deadly dull. It removes the original series' weirdness and replaces it with a veneer of hard sci-fi that is mostly technobabble and bullshit.

The AV Club recaps have some hilarious comments on each entry, however.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:23 PM on January 8, 2013


Fashion It So


Especially because: this.
posted by jetlagaddict at 6:23 PM on January 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


After watching that I starting thinking about the actors, and googling lead me to find an interesting memo from 1987 on who TNG might have cast.
posted by fings at 6:27 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I have tried to watch ST:TNG, since it is constantly rerun on local TV, but I can find it nothing but deadly dull. It removes the original series' weirdness and replaces it with a veneer of hard sci-fi that is mostly technobabble and bullshit.

I just want you to know I read this book cover to cover more time than you can possibly imagine

posted by phaedon at 6:29 PM on January 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Wow those big-iris contact lenses on Troi were really great.
posted by rlk at 6:31 PM on January 8, 2013


Make it whoa.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:36 PM on January 8, 2013


Geordie's thumbs up made my day
posted by skewed at 6:38 PM on January 8, 2013


After watching that I starting thinking about the actors, and googling lead me to find an interesting memo from 1987 on who TNG might have cast.

LeVar Burton won the role over Reggie Jackson [!], Tim Russ (who later played Tuvok on Voyager, and Wesley Snipes [!!].

Geordie's thumbs up made my day

And that's how.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:40 PM on January 8, 2013


Wow...that's the first time the thought ever occurred to me that Data had gayface, y'all.
posted by darkstar at 6:52 PM on January 8, 2013


I had no idea Easy E was in the original cast.
posted by beau jackson at 7:02 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"After watching that I starting thinking about the actors, and googling lead me to find an interesting memo from 1987 on who TNG might have cast."

And Kevin Peter Hall, up for both Geordi and Data. Yes, the guy in the Predator costume. Yeah, the guy who was 7'2". That might have changed the look of the cast photos a bit.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:03 PM on January 8, 2013


Yaphet Kotto as Picard would have been amazing.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 7:25 PM on January 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Why could they not even TRY a wig on Patrick Stewart? It's like they never even considered the idea of internet videos.
posted by orme at 7:28 PM on January 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Rosalind Chao was up for Tasha Yar? That could've been really neat. (Rosalind Chao ended up playing Keiko on TNG a few years later.)
posted by chrominance at 7:34 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love how it goes from Poodle Troi to Jheri Geordi to A Flock of Wesleys and then BAM! Just Patrick Stewart standin' there being Patrick Stewart. Hi, Patrick Stewart!
posted by Lazlo Nibble at 7:49 PM on January 8, 2013 [16 favorites]


God, they were really beautiful human beings, weren't they?
posted by ocherdraco at 7:59 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Damn, PStew can be a badass doing anything. Anything at all.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:05 PM on January 8, 2013


IN THE FUTURE WE WILL ALL HAVE WEIRD HAIR

if we have hair

except for Riker

whose hair we all must touch
posted by Flunkie at 8:16 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


That wasn't an episode from the first season?
posted by mazola at 8:20 PM on January 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


No, this was too well written to be an episode from the first season.
posted by Frayed Knot at 8:36 PM on January 8, 2013 [13 favorites]


elizardbits: "These threads make me so sad that Wheaton isn't mefi's own."

We kind of aggressively worked to prevent that. One of MeFi's less shining moments.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:41 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


THANKS, GEORDI!
posted by Evernix at 8:47 PM on January 8, 2013


We kind of aggressively worked to prevent that. One of MeFi's less shining moments.

I've kind of been here forever and managed to miss this. Recap anywhere?
posted by sourwookie at 8:49 PM on January 8, 2013


It was like 10 years ago, ffs. i know I can keep a grudge twice as long as that but I expect better from those who do not appear to be a conscienceless sociopath like me.
posted by elizardbits at 8:58 PM on January 8, 2013


I don't think "aggressively" is the right word, is it? Didn't somebody just make a disparaging comment about his blog or something? Hm.
posted by koeselitz at 9:02 PM on January 8, 2013


Rosalind Chao was up for Tasha Yar? That could've been really neat. (Rosalind Chao ended up playing Keiko on TNG a few years later.)

Based on others things I've seen her in (like Thousand Pieces of Gold - terrible poster, good movie), Chao could have been much better than Crosby, provided the writers gave her stuff to work with. I was never a Crosby fan, and Yar in the novels was so much better than ever on screen.
posted by jb at 9:06 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a whole bunch of Wheaton in the archives, positive and negative, but if you want the Mean Girl thread, this is probably it, but several people put in a good word for him, too. He noted this in his link to the thread.
posted by maudlin at 9:30 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Speaking of Riker growing facial hair, I was JUST thinking about this episode today:

Q and his mariachi band in Deja Q

Riker: "I don't need your fantasy women."
Q: "You're so stolid! You weren't like that before the beard..."
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:30 PM on January 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Something that both the video and the 1987 memo remind us: Worf isn't mentioned or shown (even though he's the most makeup-heavy regular in TNG) because he wasn't a major character originally; he doesn't even have a name in the first draft of the series bible.

Also, nothing in particular against Denise Crosby, but Rosalind Chao would have been great as Tasha Yar; the DS9 episode "The Assignment" showed what she could do with a meatier role. And Kevin Peter Hall? The guy who played the Predator in the first two movies on TNG? How cool would that have been?
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:44 PM on January 8, 2013


Crosby as Troi? Well, that would have been interesting, as would have been Chao as Yar. However, most TNG scripts, as fond of the show as I am, did not treat its female characters well.

Voyager has its own set of issues, but I thought it did a better job of having well-rounded female characters. Hell, Janeway was a freaking full-out Ahab, which while a little crazy, was understandable given the crew's situation. Sad that Torres largely lost her teeth once she and Paris got together, though.
posted by smirkette at 10:07 PM on January 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Having seen beardless Riker again I'm more convinced than ever that there needs to be some kind of Jonathan Frakes/John Barrowman vehicle. Both of them are just so full of joy.
posted by bruzie at 10:39 PM on January 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


As someone who has actually been at these things before, it's kind of amazing to me how little they had down about any of the characters who aren't normal-looking human adults. The ones I've attended, the test is mostly to see how things look on camera and get final approval for the overall look.

Where is Crusher? Had they not cast her yet or something? Was there massive hair drama? Because seriously they took their time over the course of the first season figuring out Crusher's hair.

Also, Brent Spiner has some cupid's bow lips on him. Who knew.
posted by Sara C. at 11:48 PM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I guess these tests -- with both actresses in the roles they would have in the series -- means it's after they switched Sirtis and Crosby around. I always hoped there was some footage of them in the opposite roles.

And hoo boy. Poor Wil, very nearly cruelly dropped into the androgynous uncanny valley.

They're totally gonna kill you off in the first season.

She pretty much wanted out. As noted, Worf's role was expanded and I think they were really competing for the tactical/security officer lines, not to mention Tasha got to be "Hailing frequencies open, sir" Uhura a lot of the time anyway.

Troi's ridiculous parade of hairstyles

Thing was, that presaged the entire series. I don't think they really got her into a flattering look until she got a regular uniform. The jumpsuit, the skant, Geordi's VISOR holding up her hair -- it was a parade of tweak.

Of course, Picard managed to avoid the whole problem of 24th century hairstyles altogether. Brilliant!
posted by dhartung at 11:52 PM on January 8, 2013


One of the Troi hairstyles was a nice, simple, not overly tight updo, with no weird alien decorative shit. I wish they'd gone with that.

It looked pretty nondescript with the skant, though. So I can see how they would have been like "Ugh, she needs something around her face. Just, like, leave it down or whatever..."

But that one updo, with some hybrid of the first season jumpsuit and a real Starfleet uniform, would have been nice.

FWIW I'm pretty sure they didn't put her in the one everyone else gets because the zipper probably bunched up weirdly over her chest. Though they could have put her in the collared separates thing along with everyone else in the third season, easily.
posted by Sara C. at 12:05 AM on January 9, 2013


Then the beard showed up. Holy moly, I've never seen a person take a failed romance IRL that hard.

Which is weird cause among the dedicated Homosexualists I associate with the general impression was pre-beard: He looks a little too young to be second in command of a freaking spaceship post beard: HELLO SPACE LUMBERJACK
posted by The Whelk at 12:29 AM on January 9, 2013 [12 favorites]


HELLO SPACE LUMBERJACK

There are so many reasons why I question my lateness at accepting bearditude as my destiny. This is the most amusing.
posted by flaterik at 2:01 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


There's a whole bunch of Wheaton in the archives, positive and negative, but if you want the Mean Girl thread, this is probably it, but several people put in a good word for him, too. He noted this in his link to the thread.


Really? That's it? That's the infamous thread where MeFi so nastily chased Wil Wheaton off the site?

Been hearing about it for years, went searching for it now and then, had found that thread, dismissed it as unlikely, figured the encounter was lost in The Hacking. Huh. Welp.
posted by likeso at 3:23 AM on January 9, 2013


And Kevin Peter Hall? The guy who played the Predator in the first two movies on TNG? How cool would that have been?

Unfortunately, it would only have been cool until 1991 at the latest, as that's when he died.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:43 AM on January 9, 2013


Well, I doubt Wheaton is sitting in his room thinking about how much he hates that Metafilter. Probably it was more like he was given some heat, and just happened never to come back. There are other sites on the internet to hang out on, after all.

And in fairness, Wheaton has sort of a history of being abused on the internet.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:04 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


No, I mean, my comment about holding grudges was with the assumption that there was some kind of longstanding sitewide grudge against him and he was like "ok l8rs then". I forgot the details of the original situation.
posted by elizardbits at 6:13 AM on January 9, 2013


This video was sort of arousing?
posted by MangyCarface at 6:34 AM on January 9, 2013


I believe "Everyone wants to pet Riker" was the working title for ST:TNG.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 7:00 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Let me say two things:

First, Patrick Stewart was younger for almost his entire run as Picard than I am now, and that realization is just bringing a whole world of hurt down on me.

Second, I only learned recently that Denise Crosby is Bing Crosby's granddaughter.
posted by the sobsister at 6:57 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


There are other sites on the internet to hang out on, after all.

More to the point, WIL WHEATON dot NET is not only one of them, but a community comparable -- back then, anyway -- in size and activity to MeFi itself. Why he would want to hang out here as just a reg'lar user when he's his own mathowie is beyond me. He didn't need us; he'd already created his own personal MeFi (and thereby disproved the very claim made in its posting here, i.e. that it was lame).
posted by dhartung at 9:12 AM on January 10, 2013


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