One limitation of the present research is that parents may not have always been completely accurate in their reports about lying. Presumably, any social desirability effects would translate into an underestimation of lying rates, but it is unclear whether these effects could be expected to differ between the two countries.
On you personally, perhaps. On the rest of the supermarket listening to the kid throwing a tantrum, perhaps not.
deanc, what you're calling "parenting throughout the entirety of human history" is hugely influenced by the behaviorist ideas of John B. Watson, a behaviorist psychologist who wrote a book in the 1920s, Psychological Care of the Infant and Child, advising among other things the idea that children should never be hugged or kissed by their parents.
Child-rearing practices like putting infants on schedules, encouraging independence as quickly as possible and using operant conditioning as a form of discipline only seems universal by ignoring the historical and cultural roots of those ideas.
This means using short phrases with lots of repetition, and reflecting the child’s emotions in your tone and facial expressions.
Dr. Karp adopts a soothing, childlike voice to demonstrate how to respond to the toddler’s cookie demands.
“You want. You want. You want cookie. You say, ‘Cookie, now. Cookie now.’ ”
It’s hard to imagine an adult talking like this in a public place. But Dr. Karp notes that this same form of “active listening” is a method adults use all the time. The goal is not simply to repeat words but to make it clear that you hear someone’s complaint. “If you were upset and fuming mad, I might say, ‘I know. I know. I know. I get it. I’m really really sorry. I’m sorry.’ That sounds like gibberish out of context,” he says.
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