One limitation of the present research is that parents may not have always been completely accurate in their reports about lying. Presumably, any social desirability effects would translate into an underestimation of lying rates, but it is unclear whether these effects could be expected to differ between the two countries.posted by spbmp at 10:41 AM on January 23
On you personally, perhaps. On the rest of the supermarket listening to the kid throwing a tantrum, perhaps not.vuron didn't say that his/her child winds up acting worse in the supermarket when they're tired than other kids who have more consequence-based upbringings.
deanc, what you're calling "parenting throughout the entirety of human history" is hugely influenced by the behaviorist ideas of John B. Watson, a behaviorist psychologist who wrote a book in the 1920s, Psychological Care of the Infant and Child, advising among other things the idea that children should never be hugged or kissed by their parents.This is obviously a "thing" of yours that you're clearly really concerned about, but this kind of thing is not something I was referring to at all when I was talking about "parenting throughout human history."
Child-rearing practices like putting infants on schedules, encouraging independence as quickly as possible and using operant conditioning as a form of discipline only seems universal by ignoring the historical and cultural roots of those ideas.
This means using short phrases with lots of repetition, and reflecting the child’s emotions in your tone and facial expressions.If I "reflect" my toddler's emotions in my responses, it's pretty bloody aversive to him, because he is screaming angrily, and he doesn't like it when I display anger at him. That's a very different parental response to the one implied by the "active listening" characterisation of the parental response:
Dr. Karp adopts a soothing, childlike voice to demonstrate how to respond to the toddler’s cookie demands.That's not the same thing at all, to my mind. A "soothing" response to a tantrum, expressed using phrases that the toddler can clearly understand, is rather different to one in which the parent adopts the same type of emotional tone as the child. But yes, I'd agree that standard reinforcement learning doesn't capture this very well (I think it's a special case of Skinner's framework failing to capture verbal behaviour and verbal learning).
“You want. You want. You want cookie. You say, ‘Cookie, now. Cookie now.’ ”
It’s hard to imagine an adult talking like this in a public place. But Dr. Karp notes that this same form of “active listening” is a method adults use all the time. The goal is not simply to repeat words but to make it clear that you hear someone’s complaint. “If you were upset and fuming mad, I might say, ‘I know. I know. I know. I get it. I’m really really sorry. I’m sorry.’ That sounds like gibberish out of context,” he says.
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posted by arcticseal at 8:22 AM on January 23 [1 favorite]