Arachnophobes Need Not Apply
January 24, 2013 5:49 AM Subscribe
The folks over at Smarter Every Day encountered a Tailless Whip Scorpion, and after showing off its remarkable physiology, they did what anyone would do, and put it on their faces.
[no scorpions appear to have been harmed, some humans present may have been a bit psychologically scarred.]
[no scorpions appear to have been harmed, some humans present may have been a bit psychologically scarred.]
Is that what the 'scientist' in Prometheus was emulating?
posted by ersatz at 6:05 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ersatz at 6:05 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Some humans who happen to see the picture of it on the page from the first link have been a bit psychologically scarred.
No.
posted by royalsong at 6:06 AM on January 24, 2013
No.
posted by royalsong at 6:06 AM on January 24, 2013
I love spiders, I really do. My profile has a link to all the spider photography I do as a hobby. But these guys creep me the hell out.
posted by sanka at 6:06 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by sanka at 6:06 AM on January 24, 2013
I see. The new natural history phenomenon that is David Jackassborough.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:07 AM on January 24, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by MuffinMan at 6:07 AM on January 24, 2013 [7 favorites]
I don't know if you guys are familiar with Total Blackout, but it's one of the three shows I actually watch on TV right now (the other two are Jeopardy! and any WWE programming), and although I have significant reservations about the way they treat animals (which is disrespectful at best and possibly downright cruel), it's cheap lowbrow entertainment and it makes me laugh and cringe.
In any case, one of the stunts this week involved, essentially, wearing a space helmet full of live scorpions. The contestants seemed much less disturbed by it than I would have expected. I was horrified by it, and I am horrified by this.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:17 AM on January 24, 2013
In any case, one of the stunts this week involved, essentially, wearing a space helmet full of live scorpions. The contestants seemed much less disturbed by it than I would have expected. I was horrified by it, and I am horrified by this.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:17 AM on January 24, 2013
What a spectacular creature! So elegant, so supremely adapted. Those long legs function as eyes? Cool! I would totally love to hang with that guy for a day and go turning over rocks and poking into dark corners with him. Watching this made me feel like a kid again.
I am constantly blown away by the diversity of life on this planet. Dang.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:18 AM on January 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
I am constantly blown away by the diversity of life on this planet. Dang.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:18 AM on January 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
Sounds to me like they're not getting smarter fast enough.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:18 AM on January 24, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:18 AM on January 24, 2013 [10 favorites]
Kinda happy my employer blocks youtube right now.
posted by zombieApoc at 6:21 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by zombieApoc at 6:21 AM on January 24, 2013
That was hilarious. Also, nope nope nope never ever not me nope.
And to think I wanted to be an entomologist when I was a kid.
posted by rtha at 6:23 AM on January 24, 2013
And to think I wanted to be an entomologist when I was a kid.
posted by rtha at 6:23 AM on January 24, 2013
I have a dear friend who had these all over her house in Costa Rica when she lived in a rural area in the 1990s. She caught one, dried and pressed it and mailed it to me.
She is a badass.
posted by digitalprimate at 6:36 AM on January 24, 2013
She is a badass.
posted by digitalprimate at 6:36 AM on January 24, 2013
Bros in the Amazon – way more charming than I would have expected!
posted by Mooseli at 6:37 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by Mooseli at 6:37 AM on January 24, 2013
"Smarter" Every Day
posted by adamdschneider at 6:40 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by adamdschneider at 6:40 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Who is this mythical "anyone" and what other stupid things are they willing to do?
posted by tommasz at 6:49 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by tommasz at 6:49 AM on January 24, 2013
I with sanka on this one. A few years ago, we stayed in a condo in Mexico (near Ixtapa). The laundry machine for the condo was down the hall - tiny little washer and dryer, plus some odds and ends the owner kept in there. I went in there to grab some laundry and some movement on the top of one of the shelves caught my eye. They were legs. Long ones. I grabbed the laundry and hauled ass out of there. I looked it up later and was relieved to see that they weren't dangerous, but was still thoroughly creeped out.
The next day I had to step around a tarantula which I thought was dead, but turned out to be very much alive. At that point I'd decided I'd had enough of the local fauna.
posted by jquinby at 6:51 AM on January 24, 2013
The next day I had to step around a tarantula which I thought was dead, but turned out to be very much alive. At that point I'd decided I'd had enough of the local fauna.
posted by jquinby at 6:51 AM on January 24, 2013
I am constantly blown away by the diversity of life on this planet.
Oh man, me too, but even with this thought held firmly in mind I still made a sort of weird involuntary "neeeuuuagghh" noise when I watched the video. Something about all those long twitchy legs makes my inside parts want to be very far away.
posted by fight or flight at 6:52 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh man, me too, but even with this thought held firmly in mind I still made a sort of weird involuntary "neeeuuuagghh" noise when I watched the video. Something about all those long twitchy legs makes my inside parts want to be very far away.
posted by fight or flight at 6:52 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
WHAT IS THAT?
IT IS A TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION?
OH COOL I WILL PUT IT ON MY FACE!
For some, the journey to Smartness is a treacherous road.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:58 AM on January 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
IT IS A TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION?
OH COOL I WILL PUT IT ON MY FACE!
For some, the journey to Smartness is a treacherous road.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:58 AM on January 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
The captions are kind of amazing.
Hey, it's me Destin, welcome to Samrter Every Day. I'm in the Amazon Rainforest.
[squeal] JRUUUUH-UH! TJRUAA!
(Group) [Clapping, pointing, generally ridiculing Destin for his pansy ways.] Yess! [laughs]
posted by louche mustachio at 7:03 AM on January 24, 2013
Hey, it's me Destin, welcome to Samrter Every Day. I'm in the Amazon Rainforest.
[squeal] JRUUUUH-UH! TJRUAA!
(Group) [Clapping, pointing, generally ridiculing Destin for his pansy ways.] Yess! [laughs]
posted by louche mustachio at 7:03 AM on January 24, 2013
Oh, hey. I ran into these guys (in context, close up) in Cote d'Ivoire. When I first met them, I thought they were frogs on the wall (it was dark). Then I realized they were AWESOME, especially when carrying their eggs on their back. But I never had the compulsion to put them on my face.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:21 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by ChuraChura at 7:21 AM on January 24, 2013
WHAT IS THAT?
A HAND! OH HELL AND DEATH A HUMAN HAND!
QUICKLY SCUTTLE AWAY!
THIS CREVICE IS LAMENTABLY SHALLOW! I AM CAUGHT! GAGH! I WILL SURELY BE EATEN. I WILL STRUGGLE FOR LIFE WITH MY POINTY MOUTH ARMS.
THESE BEASTS HAVE TRAPPED MY ENTIRE ABDOMEN WITH THEIR MEATY PINCERS. SOON THEY WILL CONSUME ME! SQUINTS TINY EYES IN ANTICIPATION OF DEATH
BAH! I AM ON ITS MAW, NOT IN ITS MAW! WHAT THE...AND ANOTHER.
THESE FLESHY FOOLS! THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLACE FOOD IN THEIR OWN MOUTHS!
THE TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION WILL LIVE TO SCUTTLE ANOTHER DAY, HA HA.
RAISES LONGEST APPENDAGE IN TRIUMPH
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:24 AM on January 24, 2013 [32 favorites]
A HAND! OH HELL AND DEATH A HUMAN HAND!
QUICKLY SCUTTLE AWAY!
THIS CREVICE IS LAMENTABLY SHALLOW! I AM CAUGHT! GAGH! I WILL SURELY BE EATEN. I WILL STRUGGLE FOR LIFE WITH MY POINTY MOUTH ARMS.
THESE BEASTS HAVE TRAPPED MY ENTIRE ABDOMEN WITH THEIR MEATY PINCERS. SOON THEY WILL CONSUME ME! SQUINTS TINY EYES IN ANTICIPATION OF DEATH
BAH! I AM ON ITS MAW, NOT IN ITS MAW! WHAT THE...AND ANOTHER.
THESE FLESHY FOOLS! THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLACE FOOD IN THEIR OWN MOUTHS!
THE TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION WILL LIVE TO SCUTTLE ANOTHER DAY, HA HA.
RAISES LONGEST APPENDAGE IN TRIUMPH
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:24 AM on January 24, 2013 [32 favorites]
So but like it doesn't have any venom and when it was biting the guy it only felt like a tiny pinch?
Whatever I'd put that shit on my face. It's cool.
I would feel bad for freaking the poor thing out though.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:28 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Whatever I'd put that shit on my face. It's cool.
I would feel bad for freaking the poor thing out though.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:28 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
I WILL STRUGGLE FOR LIFE WITH MY POINTY MOUTH ARMS.
Great. Now I have to clean the coffee I laughed all over my desk.
posted by cacofonie at 7:28 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Great. Now I have to clean the coffee I laughed all over my desk.
posted by cacofonie at 7:28 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's not as horrifying as first thought, but I still wouldn't put it on my face.
posted by arcticseal at 7:33 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by arcticseal at 7:33 AM on January 24, 2013
"Tailless Whip Scorpion [...] and put it on their faces."
I would never have thought that such a short sentence could make me want to throw up and die.
posted by komara at 7:47 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would never have thought that such a short sentence could make me want to throw up and die.
posted by komara at 7:47 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just in case you were wondering just how bad ass is a whip scorpion? Our inner teenage boy has been satisfied.
(warning not for the PETA crowd actual insecticide contained)
posted by pdxpogo at 7:54 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
(warning not for the PETA crowd actual insecticide contained)
posted by pdxpogo at 7:54 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just in case you were wondering just how bad ass is a whip scorpion? Our inner teenage boy has been satisfied.
OMFG. It's like Kaiju LARPing, but with actual bug/lizard death.
posted by digitalprimate at 9:02 AM on January 24, 2013
OMFG. It's like Kaiju LARPing, but with actual bug/lizard death.
posted by digitalprimate at 9:02 AM on January 24, 2013
THANKX FOR YET ANOTHER LINK THAT I WILL NOT CLICK EVAR.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:27 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:27 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Synchronicity is so weird. I just played Kyuss - Spiders and Vinegaroons on my radio show last night.
posted by humboldt32 at 9:41 AM on January 24, 2013
posted by humboldt32 at 9:41 AM on January 24, 2013
It's not as horrifying as I first thought, but I still wouldn't put it on my face.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that sentence...
posted by ook at 11:42 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that sentence...
posted by ook at 11:42 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.
posted by sarcasticah at 12:25 PM on January 24, 2013
posted by sarcasticah at 12:25 PM on January 24, 2013
TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION SPENDS NEXT THREE DAYS TRYING TO GROOM THE TAINT OF HUMAN SKIN OILS AND HUMILIATION OFF ITS CARAPACE.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 11:04 PM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Cold Lurkey at 11:04 PM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
There was a post on here a couple years ago about whip scorpions. Some surprising maternal behaviour was observed.
posted by Goofyy at 8:56 AM on January 25, 2013
posted by Goofyy at 8:56 AM on January 25, 2013
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