This risotto, does it awaken memories for you?
January 25, 2013 9:14 AM   Subscribe

Blixa Bargeld makes risotto. And dyes it black. [SLYT]
posted by Kitty Stardust (48 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
I see a risotto and I want it painted black...
posted by Renoroc at 9:16 AM on January 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


This is a standard Italian recipe. Cuttlefish ink is used with risotto and with pasta all the time.
posted by yoink at 9:22 AM on January 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Blixa doesn't dye it black.
It just becomes black because: goth.

It is also high in iron. Because: industrial.
posted by Mezentian at 9:23 AM on January 25, 2013 [12 favorites]


oh risotto why do you have be so carby and take so long to make? I guess that's the only thing keeping my life from being a 24-hour celebration of risotto in all it's multicolored forms.
posted by The Whelk at 9:24 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, Blixa is pretty hawt.
posted by Mezentian at 9:26 AM on January 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


o why do you have be so carby
Can't help.

and take so long to make?
PRESSURE COOKER
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:26 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you missed Blixa Bargeld reading from the Hornbach catalog a few years ago, you should also watch that instantly.
posted by mhoye at 9:32 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've never seen cuttlefish ink used in risotto but when I was in Italy, I did have black pasta topped with seafood in a cream sauce that was one of the best dishes I've ever eaten.

My risotto-making skills are terrible. I always end up with a big glumpy mess.
posted by shoesietart at 9:34 AM on January 25, 2013


This is unexpectedly hot. Why am I catching the vapors all of a sudden?
posted by Kitteh at 9:36 AM on January 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


10 9 things you should know about squid ink pasta, which is really 4 things you should know, and 5 more to fluff up a short list.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:37 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


And to add, I have never seen someone so casual stirring risotto.
posted by Kitteh at 9:39 AM on January 25, 2013


Blixa Bargeld must be pushing sixty, right? He looks about 22.

I can only assume that the "ink" is virgin's blood or something.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:39 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, it's just squid ink aka sepia {yes, the same exact sepia used to tone photographs...tone, not tint, because it only binds to the exposed emultion not the whole page...otherwise the whole print would be brown}
posted by sexyrobot at 9:40 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


And to add, I have never seen someone so casual stirring risotto.

Risotto can tell when you're fussing and will become a gluey glob on the spot just to remind you not have earthly attachments.
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on January 25, 2013 [19 favorites]


In case anyone is wandering what Blixa has been up to recently, his collaboration with Alva Noto is worth checking out.
posted by Dr Dracator at 9:51 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is unexpectedly hot. Why am I catching the vapors all of a sudden?

Yeah, I might need to start dressing in a black-on-black suit when I cook.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:51 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was mesmerizing and somehow so very soothing to watch this morning. Thank you for that.
posted by daq at 9:58 AM on January 25, 2013


And of course there is a fuck yeah blixa bargeld Tumblr.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:00 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Collapsing New Cuisine.
posted by maudlin at 10:01 AM on January 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


And of course there is a fuck yeah blixa bargeld Tumblr.

*faints*
posted by Kitteh at 10:02 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Blixa does Nilsson.
posted by maudlin at 10:06 AM on January 25, 2013


Risotto can tell when you're fussing and will become a gluey glob on the spot just to remind you not have earthly attachments.


"While Bodhidharma was traveling in China, he spent the night at a monastery near Longxing. There, a young monk asked him, 'Master, what is the secret to risotto?'. Bodhidharma replied, 'Risotto is created through mindfulness of stirring. Only when the self is emptied of all things but stirring can risotto be attained.'

"The next day, the monk returned to Bodhidharma. 'Master,' he said, 'I did as you advised, but my risotto is thick and gluey.' 'Ah,' replied Bodhidarma, 'but you stirred it for too long.'

"And in this way, the monk was enlightened."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:08 AM on January 25, 2013 [19 favorites]


I remember the first time I watched this video. My husband asked me if I needed a moment alone, if you catch my drift...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:13 AM on January 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


This one time I made risotto. 1.5 years later my gf dumped me.

I have always assumed that these two facts are related.
posted by Fizz at 10:17 AM on January 25, 2013


Black?

Really?

Whodathunkit?

(And, yeah, both he and the knife are HAWT.)

(Ummmm, not a serial killer, I like cooking.)
posted by Samizdata at 10:31 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah you wanna eat now while your flambée's glowing
You can't serve yet 'cause your rice is showing
Dye it black
posted by infinitewindow at 10:33 AM on January 25, 2013


I made squid ink linguini as part of a festive, Halloween supper one year. The kids dug it. My wife? Not so much.
posted by mazola at 10:55 AM on January 25, 2013


Blixa Bargeld must be pushing sixty, right? He looks about 22.

I can only assume that the "ink" is virgin's blood or something.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:39 PM on January 25 [+] [!]


Nick Cave and Mick Harvey haven't aged at all either. I think the Bad Seeds must have found some way to transfer all their years onto poor young/old Warren Ellis
posted by dng at 11:14 AM on January 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


I couldn't find out when this video was made, but it has to be a few decades old, right? I mean, because he mentions the cost of the ceramic knife in Marks, not Euros?

I also love how philosophical they get about cooking. There's something that seems so German (borderline melancholic, too) about Blixa explaining how the "tasting tongue" and the "speaking tongue" are at odds.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 11:24 AM on January 25, 2013


Risotto is a staple at our house. Usually something simple like asparagus risotto.
But we've had squid ink risotto many times and the recent favorite is beetroot risotto which has a wonderful bloody red color.
posted by vacapinta at 11:35 AM on January 25, 2013


You mean to tell me Blixa doesn’t cook with a contact mic on the risotto pan amplifying his stirring sounds while he shrieks “schwarzer Tinte”?
posted by mubba at 11:41 AM on January 25, 2013 [16 favorites]


I vaguely remember a mildly contentious thread about a self-stirring risotto pot. Was this a fever dream of madness or did this really happen?
posted by elizardbits at 11:56 AM on January 25, 2013


I couldn't find out when this video was made, but it has to be a few decades old, right? I mean, because he mentions the cost of the ceramic knife in Marks, not Euros?

At least before 2002. Germans were still using Marks in 1997, but the shift had begun around then.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:00 PM on January 25, 2013


It's not a self-stirring pot but this one-stir risotto is quite nice. Throwing in dried cherries, slivered almonds, and sage makes for a nice winter dish.
posted by Candleman at 12:24 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't know who Blixa was before reading this post. So I went and read his wikipedia entry.

The description of Nick Cave being introduced to his music jumped out at me:

'He described the music as "mournful", Bargeld as looking "destroyed", and his screams as "a sound you would expect to hear from strangled cats or dying children."[1]'

After that of course, he brought him on board.
posted by el io at 12:25 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love how this video turned mefi into tumblr.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 12:38 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Children usually don't have a specific taste..."

http://tinyurl.com/b67pkqc
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:01 PM on January 25, 2013


el io, check out the noises starting at 4:12 in (warning - chock full of obscenities, murder, and rape) Stagger Lee. That's what Blixa sounds like screaming.
posted by Candleman at 1:26 PM on January 25, 2013


I feel like the soundtrack to that clip should be 99 Luftballons.

From now on I am cooking mit one hand in my pocket, yah.
posted by helmutdog at 2:00 PM on January 25, 2013


Attn.: Fellow humans who consume food from time to time: Lazy cooking does not have to be foul bachelor cooking.

You can make risotto through practice and care and attaining the perfect Zen stirring technique. Or, you could hurl the ingredients into your fuzzy-logic rice cooker, slam the lid, prod the "porridge" button firmly with the wiggly things attached to the flappy bits on the ends of your arms, and get on with life -- or at least, reading Preacher comics on the sofa.

I'm rocking a model not unlike these, but any PID-controller-based cooker will do. (The super-cheap ones with the "bang-bang" hysteresis thermostats do a mediocre job on plain white rice. They're fine vegetable steamers. But risotto? Naw, man, have some pride.)

You don't need the fancy models with induction heating and pressure vessels and kung-fu grip.
posted by sourcequench at 2:59 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I couldn't find out when this video was made, but it has to be a few decades old, right? I mean, because he mentions the cost of the ceramic knife in Marks, not Euros?

According to IMDb, it was first aired in 1995.
posted by erdferkel at 4:12 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: The two tongues exclude each other.
posted by symbioid at 4:20 PM on January 25, 2013


symbioid: "Metafilter: The two tongues exclude each other."

Speak for yourself. My tongue excludes no one.

Wait, that didn't come out r...
posted by Samizdata at 4:24 PM on January 25, 2013


I couldn't find out when this video was made, but it has to be a few decades old, right? I mean, because he mentions the cost of the ceramic knife in Marks, not Euros?

According to IMDb, it was first aired in 1995.


That's what the abnormally youthful vampires want you to think.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:36 PM on January 25, 2013


I didn't know about squid ink in Italian cooking so I googled around and found this picture of Bjork eating spaghetti nero.
posted by cazoo at 4:52 PM on January 25, 2013


squid ink aka sepia {yes, the same exact sepia used to tone photographs}

o_o

o_O?

O_O!

scanners.gif
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:34 PM on January 25, 2013


My Mum's black pudding was so black, even the white bits were black.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:44 PM on January 25, 2013


I have had squid ink pasta before (yes, hello) and it tasted very briny. Then again I'm not a huge seafood fan.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 6:51 AM on January 28, 2013


« Older "We must never travel separately again.”...  |  The Designated Mourner (2002);... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments