Racist Jesus is canon, surely?
We want to let you know Kai The Homefree Hitchhiker is such a great guy, he is not looking to capitalize off this tragic event. He would rather use this to bring awareness to real world events. He would like to help raise money for Haiti to payback debts to France for one.
Please, if you're going to bother capitalizing on this AT LEAST refer to me as homefree, not "homeless". that pisses me off, cowardly fucking businessmen referring to REAL men as "homeless". have they ever actually SUNG the national anthem? shit.
So last night I went to the 24 hour fitness spa to do my weekly pedicure/yoga sesh (there's some hella fine womyn there)( And I left my bag behind this half-pipe at the skateshop across the street. I walked downtown after with my bag, got halfway, and realized I was missing half my belt buckle for my pack. I went back to the half-pipe and this scrubby fuck is camped out underneath and is all psyched until I say, "I come in peace" then he whips out his knife and yells out "DID LYNN SEND YOU? I'LL STAB YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU BETTER RUN", so I ran halfway across the parking lot, dropped my sack, whipped out my knife, and yelled back "YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME? I'LL MAKE YOU A BODY YOU PUNK ASS BITCH. STEP UP MOTHER FUCKER I'M A STICK YOU" And he yelled something obsolete so I told him I know where he sleeps and he's nothing but a body. He got scared and decided to stop following me. Anyways, I walk downtown and I'm spangin' up a storm (people kept saying "sorry", it felt kinda good) when this fly homie named "David", kicks around a handful of skrilla and invites me to drink with him at the bar. And I mean drink. He was buying me full water glasses of Jack Daniels. Like whoa, y'all oinklets in Arcata enjoy that bottle ya hear? Fulla respect, aintcha. -_^ back to whats happening, I shwilled about this much JD and I kept getting smoked up. I went from the bar after a grip and this brah, he hands me a twenty dollar bill and says "I hope you had a great time, I really enjoyed your company. Best of luck on your adventures." And he wasn't no lonely dude either, he knew EVERYONE in the bar (including the manager and owner). I took that twenty to the liquor store and bought 3 40s of Mickeys and a deck. I started drinking with everyone at the Taco Bell Patio And Got Shmammered. It was fun times. I walked over to Walgreens and this guy was lyin all sprawled out on the ground so I stopped to help him out (I have paramedic training, he was just getdrunkfalldown (GDFD) and one of the two guys standing by him was all like "Get the fuck out of here you loser with a backpack", So I went a little ways and dropped my pack, then went back and got all up in his face and was like "What the fuck makes you think you can talk back to me like that, you punk ass bitch? you just fucked up." and he was cowering like he wasn't as big as he was, then another came along and got between us, so this cowardly bitch starts haranguing me across his shoulder. I'm all up for scrapping this fool but I couldn't get him separated from the others so I took a couple shots to the head trying to lure him out. He hits like an ostrich, but without as much force. So I got jumped by 4 guys but made it out on my feet, AND I stood up to them like motherfuckin cisco kid. I felt like a million bucks wasn't anywhere near my infinite worth. then I went and smoked some kine herbs and went to bed in a shed well fed. I'm lovin this life, locationally here in Santa Cruz and otherwise. Thanks people. What an adventure.
History of Dogtown boards.
"Through a fast-paced combination of mediums that include classic archival photography, spectacular movie footage-both current and vintage-and contemporary interviews with the sport's greatest surfers, experts and storytellers..." *
smash, Smash, SMASH! with Kai the Home-free Hitchhiker!
I got an email from his wife Donna, wanting to tell her side of the story.
She says Kai's flamboyant personality has turned the story into an autotuned joke. She says her husband has been demonized and her family is struggling to deal with his mental illness. Donna's been with McBride for 8 years, but it was only in October when he started showing signs of mental instability.
"He fell into a real deep depression after he lost his business. He started having too much time on his hands and didn't want to do anything. I watched him slowly go down that road."
She says Jett became delusional, took on multiple personalities and became a conspiracy theorist. She's tried to get him help, but couldn't.
"According to the laws here, you can't do anything. You can't make them take their medication. He just said he was not going to do it and that's it. Every mental facility I called, they couldn't do anything. You feel like your hands are tied to help someone you love. Something like this happens and now he's going to pay for this, our family is. I'm hoping and praying they will hold him long enough so he can get help."
FatherDagon: Doing some digging, it turns out that the *reporter* is fake (not from Fox)
Jessob Reisbeck joined the KMPH FOX 26 team in March of 2009 coming from Syracuse, NY where he worked for WSTM.
ericb: Jessob Reisbeck joined the KMPH FOX 26 team in March of 2009 coming from Syracuse, NY where he worked for WSTM.
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