Florida Man!
February 9, 2013 5:33 PM   Subscribe

Real life headlines about the world's worst superhero.
posted by Tom-B (28 comments total) 54 users marked this as a favorite

 
Maybe it's because I've been reading all the back issues of Swamp Thing for the last few weeks, but this, to me, is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
posted by etc. at 5:38 PM on February 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Florida Man sucks! Go back to space or whatever!

/forms angry mob.

/later revealed NOT to be under the influence of mind control.
posted by Artw at 5:38 PM on February 9, 2013


Size of the entire Florida man.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:39 PM on February 9, 2013 [33 favorites]


A blogger of my acquaintance regularly posts "Guess the State!" posts where he posts a headline and you have to guess Florida or Ohio.

(If it's weird crime, the answer is almost always Florida.)
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:42 PM on February 9, 2013


"Oh, police blotter. You make every newspaper a newspaper from Florida."
posted by strangely stunted trees at 5:42 PM on February 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Size of the entire Florida man.

What's he like? It's not important.
Florida man
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:48 PM on February 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


With the exception of the guy building the DeLorean hovercraft, California Man isn't looking so hot on the top Google News search results either.

and Nantucket Man .. well he's in poor shape indeed.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:54 PM on February 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Florida Man and John Cusack would get along, I think.
posted by arsey at 6:03 PM on February 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Remind me of this little easter egg I made back when I worked for a newpaper. Sorta surprised nobody's noticed and taken it down yet...
posted by jacobian at 6:23 PM on February 9, 2013 [152 favorites]


It took me far longer than it should have to get this. For a second I actually thought there was some sad sack wannabe superhero out there that just couldn't catch a break. Perhaps I've been reading too much Something Positive.
posted by jferg at 6:39 PM on February 9, 2013


That's excellent jacobian. You get a point. (Faint of Butt's in line for one too, but I'm sure he already has like a dozen.)
posted by JHarris at 6:44 PM on February 9, 2013


This is genius.
posted by carter at 6:53 PM on February 9, 2013


Simple, genius.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:54 PM on February 9, 2013


This reminds me of the fact that there's a REASON Fark has a "Florida" tag.
posted by happyroach at 7:00 PM on February 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


You just reminded me there is Fark.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:01 PM on February 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Florida man wonders why he moved to Florida... sometime. But then, no snow.
posted by Splunge at 7:02 PM on February 9, 2013


I think my favorite is "Florida Man Disguises Himself As 'The Sun'". Not a bright idea.
posted by maryr at 7:06 PM on February 9, 2013


Not sure if there are any other Uhh Yeah Dude listeners on MeFi but this is reminiscent of their old segment This Week In Florida.
posted by evisceratordeath at 7:08 PM on February 9, 2013


Florida=a bar in a Starbucks in a surf shop in a hotel where a 65 YO lady "Big Bang" fan muses "You think Sheldon will ever bang Penny?"
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 7:16 PM on February 9, 2013


This viral marketing for the new Jim White album sure is bizarre.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:27 PM on February 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh, Florida. It's like every now and again somebody shakes the nation and all the crazy folks fall to the lower right corner.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:16 PM on February 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


Huh, that kind of explains staid, boring New England too.
posted by maryr at 10:04 PM on February 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Remind me of this little easter egg I made back when I worked for a newpaper.

Not only is that excellent, Kansas frightens the fuck out of me now.
posted by maxwelton at 10:10 PM on February 9, 2013


I came here to post the exact same thing that strangely stunted trees did.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:19 PM on February 9, 2013


Oh, and I don't know the last thing that has made me laugh this hard.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:27 PM on February 9, 2013


Florida Man arrested again for butt injections. Sigh. Some habits are just dang hard to break. You tell yourself, "Not goin to do it, not goin to do it," and you reach for the cheese doodles instead. But then comes a moment when you let your guard down. And Wham! You're in the headlines again. And the sad truth is that it wasn't as good as the first time.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:07 AM on February 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


He's not the hero we need, but he's the hero we deserve.
posted by starlite at 8:28 AM on February 10, 2013 [11 favorites]


Apparently Florida Man is really just Indiana Man moonlighting:

Hat tip to my daughter Kelly.
posted by hwestiii at 11:15 AM on February 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


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