Embrace the Troll

February 16, 2013 12:54 PM

James "The Colossus" Thompson shows us how to deal with internet trolls.
posted by troll (37 comments total)

Won't someone halp the trolls!
posted by cjorgensen at 12:58 PM on February 16

Aw, I was rooting for a merciless beating!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 1:01 PM on February 16

In the Australian vernacular, I was rooting for a rooting.
posted by taff at 1:04 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]

Beyond eponysterical. (How did MeFi survive for 12 years before somebody took THAT username?!?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:13 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]

Mixed martial arts and profanity are the opposite of things I like. And yet... I think I love this James Thompson. Thanks.
posted by evilmomlady at 1:17 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

The "troll" was played as a troll from folklore, but I'm not sure that is where the word comes from. It seems to be a common belief though, and I'm sure it must put every wordlover in a tizzy.
posted by Jehan at 1:23 PM on February 16

Having captions on mutilates this into hilarious surreality.

Many c! Patrol! It's only a boy. Appalling worksheet overcoat I'm not care for. Boyfriend report nonetheless. This message of Faltu by October Patrol, ORIGINAL SOURCE across this collective.

posted by byanyothername at 1:24 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]

Yeah, in this context troll should be a verb, not a noun.
But that's a losing battle unfortunately.
posted by Stagger Lee at 1:26 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

The "troll" was played as a troll from folklore, but I'm not sure that is where the word comes from. It seems to be a common belief though, and I'm sure it must put every wordlover in a tizzy.

Strictly speaking, I believe it originally referred to trawling. But the word has taken on new meaning, and I like to picture a trawling troll. It can mean either.
posted by troll at 1:26 PM on February 16 [5 favorites]

Trolling is a fishing technique distinct from trawling. Trawling uses nets. Trolling is dragging a lure or baited hook slowly through an area where fish might be, hoping something will take the bait.

This was the original etymology, as the internet troll would leave bait in various forums hoping for it to be taken. However the image of an ugly little shithead waiting under a bridge to attack the unwary has a better fit to the way people who are the victims of internet trolls visualize their tormentors.

Also, while it's cute and funny, the technique advocated by Mr. Colossus only works on some trolls, and will cause others to redouble their efforts to break you down.
posted by localroger at 1:32 PM on February 16 [20 favorites]

That was rather good.
posted by Hartham's Hugging Robots at 1:42 PM on February 16

It was only so-so til "shit haircut"
posted by SharkParty at 1:54 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

I like that guy. I would be his troll, if he were looking for a troll to embrace.
posted by koeselitz at 1:55 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]

How is this person, who could crush every bone in my body probably just by breathing really hard near me, so cute??
posted by Mizu at 1:56 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]

Also, while it's cute and funny, the technique advocated by Mr. Colossus only works on some trolls, and will cause others to redouble their efforts to break you down.

love is stronger than not-love ... isn't it? One must persist, be resilient ... kind of like a stalker really.

Also, "troll" is a brilliant word for this kind of human because it is both that nebulous nefarious type under the bridge and the lonely fisherman without a girlfriend looking for any kind of human contact, even if it must be of a nasty variety. I'd love to see some kind of PHD-thesis wherein the dark and misty roots of both "trolls" are explored, charted, followed through to their current meaningfulness. Thus is English a perfectly anarchic yet incise language.
posted by philip-random at 2:05 PM on February 16

So, the consensus is, we're not being trolled by a troll here?
posted by infini at 2:11 PM on February 16

Trolling is a fishing technique distinct from trawling.

Consequently, there's a book in my parent's house that covers this subject, and it's titled "The Art of Trolling"
posted by hellojed at 2:14 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

I think that the rush to identify people as "trolls" has done a lot to undermine good faith and dialogue on the internet. It's easier to dismiss a dissenting viewpoint as being ill-intended than it is to consider that we might be wrong.
posted by Stagger Lee at 2:15 PM on February 16 [5 favorites]

Ground and pound?
posted by tommasz at 2:17 PM on February 16

Really enjoying this chap's youtube channel. He'll be a Bond villain or in the new Star Wars film as a Sith or something.

I particularly like his dance thing.
posted by 13twelve at 2:20 PM on February 16

I think that the rush to identify people as "trolls" has done a lot to undermine good faith and dialogue on the internet. It's easier to dismiss a dissenting viewpoint as being ill-intended than it is to consider that we might be wrong.

I agree; far too often it's nothing more than a glib label for "someone who disagrees with the majority," even if the person is doing it in complete good faith. It used to happen here quite a bit when someone would dare to express the thought that some of Obama's actions might be less than perfect.

But using labels as a substitute for thinking is a lot older than the term "troll."
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:43 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]

If you've for some reason decided to engage with a troll, they only way to "win" is to get them on the defensive and do not become defensive yourself. Of course, if you are successful, you are now the troll.
posted by Brocktoon at 3:45 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

I wish I could change my user name to "the boy with a shit haircut and no girlfriend."
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 5:17 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

When I was in college 10+ years ago, I was involved with a campus group that had a very vocal opponent, "Frank," who would criticize us in various public forums, accusing us of being assholes and generally an embarrassment to our university*. I was also good friends with a guy, "Mike," who was also a part of said group, and whom Frank particularly detested.

We'd run into Frank about once a week, and Mike would go out of his way to be nice to Frank, calling out to him loudly across the dining hall and waving to him, then inviting him to sit with us, and always remaining "cheerful" even if Frank would respond with hostility. It was incredibly effective at annoying the hell out of Frank and making him look ridiculous, especially if Frank happened to be accompanied by friends, because he was vocal enough in his opposition to what we were doing that his friends probably knew the whole story.

So I find the advice in that video to be pretty well on the mark, though I'm not sure how many people in a discussion thread would have to use that approach for it to be effective, how you'd coordinate that effort, or how you'd do it without derailing the discussion.

(*In retrospect, Frank was 100% correct in his criticisms. I was an asshole in college.)
posted by alphanerd at 5:23 PM on February 16

It's easier to dismiss a dissenting viewpoint as being ill-intended than it is to consider that we might be wrong.

Not to mention that even non-sincere alternate viewpoints have a place. Think "Socratic Dialogue".
posted by DU at 5:57 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]

Re-watch that video with google english closed captioning for the ultimate poetic entertainment.

Jst closest on Sunday
through doing these wonderful videos for you could people
i'm dot also like arco scurvy
are cool to return to the patrol

so this is a video
drank to deal with
like the name suggests the jobs kind of
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apprecate there were sorry who calls you any pain orchestration infarct you
can go won't step further
how open yachts are accepted you cult patrols
hates her

stag
doesn't blow
via computer
falls hatman dreams
degrees damage
bright light bulb used to
misunderstood by computer
which show blind
patrol
close so hot
lika a separate over here
the computer
locally in this case
we hope that role
usually
patrolled finds you when you short any cat weakness
box office
take tags on that price
this case we're going to try and get patrols attention
to chose what you don't turk
mister tolson
occured just uh...
have you tensions which for many actors
doesn't work
were also somewhat even though it was very tempted to do is keith patrol
apiece
them children
forty more kids
dutra tuners
two years all hopeful chart year when you get elected
retaliate
opting
content out
but
why is salt monsters
one of the extreme acts to course against recapturing state i'd report in
port to to do
pure patrol to not get sucked into that dropped him off supplements
you talk to u
grapes
thing today
thing would fall
if thing

for
bhagat
star
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but they're are about the
the
do
many c
patrol
its only a boy
appalling
worksheet overcoat
I'm no care for
boyfriend report
nonetheless
this message of faltu
by october patroll
original source
across this collective

posted by Nanukthedog at 6:01 PM on February 16

OK. A movie where James "The Colossus" Thompson, Vin Diesel, Tiny "Zeus" Lister, Vinny Jones and Henry Rollins all sit down around a pub table and discuss a heist, in a single take without any cut-aways, is a movie that will have my 10 dollars plus popcorn and drink.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:40 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]

Slap*Happy: no love for The Rock?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 8:57 PM on February 16

Every time I see this guy, I'm reminded of his record and I worry about his health and how fighters like him, Wanderlei, Liddell, etc., will be faring in the next 15-20 years (though I'm sure he could give a fuck who was worried about it). He's been stopped cold a bunch of times now and that many concussions can't be good. I hope he hangs up the gloves at some point soon.
posted by averageamateur at 11:03 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]

I was involved with a campus group that had a very vocal opponent [...] In retrospect, Frank was 100% correct in his criticisms.

And now I'm super curious about what the group was.

On topic, Mr Colossus puts me to shame, when I think how easily I've let myself become furious and irascible at certain trolls and bullies.
posted by Drexen at 9:13 AM on February 17

Um. Ah, well. Um. Mr. ah, yea, Thompson. Um. I really feeling kind of trollish here.
posted by Goofyy at 9:14 AM on February 17

I like how the video is set up so everyone's waiting for this manbeast to totally beat the crap out of the troll, and then he doesn't; Granted, he kinda uses a take-down and a bear hug to represent hugs and love, but that gives his spoken message that much more power.

I like it because I've seen too many of my fellow freaks get so fed up with being picked on or taken advantage of, that they focus on revenge instead of improvement, arrogance instead of confidence, and end up becoming the very same kind of bullies that made them so miserable.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:27 AM on February 17 [1 favorite]

I like freddiew's Troll Massacre.
posted by plinth at 4:38 AM on February 18

NC: Barry Ritholtz Declares War on Trolls, links to Why I Am Considering Getting Rid Of Comments
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:12 AM on February 19 [1 favorite]

Ritholz is merely wielding the banhammer not closing comments. He's having a modfit, one could say.
posted by infini at 9:08 AM on February 19

Do not snipe, or flamebait, or engage in a private irrelevant debate. If you find yourself publishing way too many comments, consider this: This humble blog is my forum for expressing my ideas. Perhaps it might be best if you were to get your own fucking blog. Ooo he has a new and improved comments policy!

The fastest way to lose posting privileges is to misrepresent your host’s complex and nuanced views in some inane bumper sticker comment. Doing so gets them deleted and your own ass tossed out.

Other fast tracks to getting banned:

- Knowingly posting false or malicious material;
- multiple postings under different names;
- generally engaging in troll-like behavior;
- misquoting your host/overlord;
- being impolite in the extreme;
- using fake/mislabelled URLs;
- ad hominem attacks;
- being an asshole.

Right now, someone is reading this and saying to themselves “What does he mean, being an asshole?” If you wondered that to yourself, well the odds strongly favor that you yourself have sphincter-like qualities. Thus, you should consider it likely that you will be banned as a rectoid from posting comments sometime in the near future.
posted by infini at 9:14 AM on February 19

This dude is awesome.
posted by Fists O'Fury at 10:34 AM on March 13