Sherlock Holmes and Parsnip Soup

March 2, 2013 5:59 AM

A short tale about love and bad cooking.
posted by tigrefacile (13 comments total)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. 'Watson, look up and tell me what you see.'

Watson replied, 'I see millions and millions of stars.'

'What does that tell you?'

Watson pondered for a minute.

'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell you?'

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

'Watson, you idiot. someone has stolen our tent!'
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:14 AM on March 2 [6 favorites]

Soup's tricky.

I liked it, thanks for posting.
posted by arcticseal at 6:19 AM on March 2

I disagree.
Soup is easy.

But I have no idea what this is.
I mean, they don't even have The Sex.
posted by Mezentian at 7:15 AM on March 2

Nor do they have bullion cubes to create quickee stock when fresh isn't available.
posted by The Whelk at 7:58 AM on March 2

Parsnips are very delicious. It is a shame to waste them.

Nevertheless, I liked this story.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:04 AM on March 2

Add some potatoes.
posted by Secretariat at 8:07 AM on March 2

Soup's tricky.
posted by aniola at 8:25 AM on March 2

Thanks for this, tigrefacile.
posted by fredludd at 8:57 AM on March 2

It is funny to me how people are afraid of adding water to soup. It has to be some sort of... extended water. Stock is just water that some animals and vegetables bathed in for awhile. Trust in the flavor of the actual ingredients. That said, I have never cooked with parsnips, so I could be way off base here.
posted by bitslayer at 9:09 AM on March 2 [2 favorites]

That said, I have never cooked with parsnips, so I could be way off base here.

Parsnips can be awesome.
They can also be hell.

Never eat parsnips cooked by anyone who was alive in WW2.
Unless they are roasted and/or involve honey.


Patented Extended WaterTM. From my webshop tomorrow.
posted by Mezentian at 9:36 AM on March 2

Last week my girlfriend and I broke out the crockpot to make some turkey soup.

There is nothing like skimming off the turkey fat after it's been simmering for 3-4 hours, and then dipping bread in turkey fat while watching Archer.
posted by mikurski at 12:25 AM on March 3

Soup is easy, but parsnips do make for thick sweet nonsense. You do need extra ingredients. And not wine.
posted by zoo at 3:04 AM on March 3

It's amazing how much liquid a small amount of vegetables can absorb when making puréed vegetable soup. I still sometimes make the mistake of starting with too many ("Just one carrot? For two of us? No, no, better use three") and then having to transfer everything to a larger pot partway through the process.
posted by Lexica at 11:28 AM on March 3