"I read the fucking books!"
March 27, 2013 8:15 PM   Subscribe

Season three of HBO's acclaimed Game of Thrones series is about to begin, and these nerd-bros aren't happy about it (YT).

via Axis of Awesome, "Australia's Most Awesomest Comedy Band"
posted by bardic (169 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

 
!!
posted by lalochezia at 8:22 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Only read them two times? Posers.

If they didn't do a full read-through in prep for ADWD, then they are crazy.

That being said, this was an amazing find AND reminded me of School of Thrones, so thanks!
posted by Lemurrhea at 8:29 PM on March 27, 2013


Axis have been doing great stuff for years now. My favourite is still the 4 Chord Song, but it's better live.

They're also pretty versatile; Love songs! Political rap! Club music!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:42 PM on March 27, 2013


I loled at this

Harry Potter...The book was better

The Hunger Games...the book was better

The Lord of the Rings...the book was probably better...


Honestly though...in this case I've read the books and the TV show has its charms. It benefits from paring down the source material so that, for example, you don't hear the phrase milk of the poppy every ten seconds or so.
posted by Bistle at 8:42 PM on March 27, 2013 [17 favorites]


This is great. However, if you're still not adequately pumped up for the next season, this one should do the trick.
posted by mysticreferee at 8:48 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


"the phrase milk of the poppy every ten seconds or so"

For me, the face-palm moments in the books are the highly detailed yet somehow vague descriptions of clothing.
posted by bardic at 8:49 PM on March 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


Is it just me, or was Peter Dinklage high as a kite during his Daily Show interview on Monday?
posted by schmod at 8:53 PM on March 27, 2013 [12 favorites]


Maybe he recently visited Portugal.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:54 PM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Never been able to make it through episode one of the show without falling asleep.

But the linked video was still funny.
posted by dobbs at 8:55 PM on March 27, 2013


I'm a huge fan of the show, but after the insane final season of Spartacus they're really going to have to up their game.
posted by edeezy at 8:59 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


This weekend I will be playing Game of Patron where sips will be taken everytime someone says "it is known," Jon Snow gets called a bastard, nudity on screen, etc. This video has inspired me to add another rule: Everyone takes a full shot when anyone compares the show unfavorably to the books. It will either dampen the smugness or dampen my liver enough not to care.
posted by snappysnapper at 9:03 PM on March 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


yea, I'm listening to the audiobooks, which are great, but milk of the poppy has really started leaping out at me.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:04 PM on March 27, 2013


So... Anyone else reading Young Avengers?
posted by Artw at 9:04 PM on March 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Who Could George R. R. Martin Be on Game of Thrones: Bearded Guy or Other Bearded Guy?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:18 PM on March 27, 2013


For me, the face-palm moments in the books are the highly detailed yet somehow vague descriptions of clothing.

For me, it's the foreshadowing questions the characters ask themselves from time to time.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:19 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


schmod: "Is it just me, or was Peter Dinklage high as a kite during his Daily Show interview on Monday?"

No, he was "As High As Honor."

That was really dumb but someone had to make the joke..
posted by Deflagro at 9:22 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


GoT is probably the only thing I have any legitimate claim to being a hipster (in the "I liked it before it got all cool" sense) about. I read the first two books before the third came out and waited approximately forever for the third one. By the time it finally dropped, I'd forgotten everything that happened in the first two and the series looked like it would become yet another interminable, eternally inconclusive, endlessly frustrating fantasy series, so I gave up on it. Let me know when the damn thing's finished.
posted by valrus at 9:23 PM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hollywood cannot live up to the power of imagination

Of course it can. Film is a collaborative medium. The team of Dinklage, Van Patten, Gold, Stern, Clapton, Johnson, Alexander, Banks, Engelen, O'Sullivan, etc. and etc. have spent years of full-time work developing Tyrion. Do you really think I could out-imagine them in a few hours of my spare time?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 9:24 PM on March 27, 2013 [10 favorites]


Are you kidding? I love it when people tell me they love the show and haven't watched the books! A lot of my coworkers fall into this category, and we have plans to watch this season together at one of their houses. There's a pivotal episode later on and they aren't going to know what's happening BUT I DO and I might actually die of schadenfreude. Oh, you sweet summer children.

That's the point of the TV fans: reveling in their pain. You're doing it wrong, shouty guy.
posted by a hat out of hell at 9:25 PM on March 27, 2013 [33 favorites]


Are you kidding? I love it when people tell me they love the show and haven't watched the books!

I tried watching the books. The AC blew the cover a bit, but other than that, nothing happened. I just don't see what all the hype is about.

I gave up after the fourth one.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:33 PM on March 27, 2013 [36 favorites]


I love it when people tell me they love the show and haven't watched the books!

Er...
posted by GoingToShopping at 9:43 PM on March 27, 2013


They killed my nigga’ ned!
posted by 445supermag at 9:43 PM on March 27, 2013 [16 favorites]


You can watch the books....in your imagination!
posted by Bistle at 9:44 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Am I the only person who feels cheated that they suffered through the books, and now there's a critically acclaimed TV show telling the same story, but better?

Seriously, think of the time I could have saved simply not reading those execrable doorstops, but instead thinking of it as a frivolous little TV show with dragons, naked chicks, and Peter Dinklage?
posted by Sara C. at 10:01 PM on March 27, 2013 [14 favorites]


a hat out of hell: "There's a pivotal episode later on and they aren't going to know what's happening BUT I DO and I might actually die of schadenfreude."

For some reason, the HBO shop has been printing t-shirts for pretty much every house that has a sigil, no matter how inconceivably small the potential market for such a shirt would be. I plan on getting some good use out of one in particular for the next few months.
posted by Copronymus at 10:06 PM on March 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


edeezy: "I'm a huge fan of the show, but after the insane final season of Spartacus they're really going to have to up their game"

Wait, Spartacus stopped being some sort of horribly acted gay beefcake show with over the top weird CGI and started being good?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:08 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


5_13_23_42_69_666: "but milk of the poppy has really started leaping out at me."

Yeah, every time it gets repeated I tug my braid and cross my arms under my breasts.
posted by the_artificer at 10:10 PM on March 27, 2013 [33 favorites]


I read the fucking books! What could be easier? It's all alphabetical! I read A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z! That's all you have to do!
posted by Nomyte at 10:11 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm with Sara C. The show is better than the books. And it's not the phrase milk of the poppy that gets me. It's the fucking word "nuncle." That one woman from the Iron Islands must saw the word "nuncle" over a hundred times in one of the books. Drove me near mad.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:15 PM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Sara C.: "Seriously, think of the time I could have saved simply not reading those execrable doorstops"

I wouldn't go quite that far, but yes - I can't help but feel I would have been better off just watching the show rather than having to wait for another 6+ years to find out how it all ends. It's infuriating. The shows are fun, and have the additional virtue of putting GRRM on a deadline.
posted by vanar sena at 10:17 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


The books are very good, and I adore the deconstruction of the fantasy genre re: sexism, classism, etc. But they are also over-written as balls, or at least as balls which have the full menu of every meal everybody ever has ever eaten tattooed on them. The show, while obviously an adaptation, is near flawless and is absolutely brilliant.

So yeah, I'm gonna give it to the show, on this one.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:36 PM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


I read book three (for the first time) in about half a week in anticipation for this season. I usually agree that the show is better than the books, but man, book three is pretty fantastic. Shit gets real. If they can translate it well again, it's gonna be bonkers.

Also, someone pees themselves in fear every other chapter in the third book. It started getting a little... weird.
posted by sonmi at 10:43 PM on March 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


If season 3 is going to be the first half of book 3, season 4 is going to be nonstop effing nuts, in the best possible way. The second half of that book is just endless HOLY SHIT moments even before condensing it down and adding the excellent pacing of the show.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:48 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a pivotal episode later on and they aren't going to know what's happening BUT I DO

This is why I can't watch the show. It's one endless nightmare of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
posted by fshgrl at 10:51 PM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Though I'm not looking forward to endless, instantly forgettable and confusingly similar Slaver's Bay names no matter what the medium.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:53 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Death to Copronymus.

I started reading the books after playing Dragon Age, around the time I heard a series was coming with Bean and Dinklage. As a result I knew beforehand about season one's very unhappy event and so any time the series was brought up to me I involuntarily adopted this grim look on my face, such that my friends got the impression I did not like the series.

I had one week of blissful ignorance between that airing, and getting up to that Really Worrisome bit in Storm of Swords. Only time I've ever been reading a book and literally had to sit down.

I don't like fantasy and I don't like overlong books but for some reason I enjoy this series a lot.

Perhaps it's all the delicious stale bread.
posted by dumbland at 12:18 AM on March 28, 2013 [4 favorites]


Really Worrisome bit

I see what you did there....
posted by Pendragon at 1:22 AM on March 28, 2013 [12 favorites]


I plan on getting some good use out of one in particular for the next few months.

Here's some hard-learned knowledge: Don't wear your House Frey shirt to the RenFest.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:50 AM on March 28, 2013 [10 favorites]


What It's Like To Read the Game of Thrones Books

Accurate.

Marginally NSFW for a few seconds near the 2minute mark, but mild compared to the TV series.

And I love the books.
posted by Mezentian at 3:39 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


The latest cool griefing tactic in EVE Online is naming all your space stations with Game of Thrones spoilers. As is often the case, Pandemic Legion pioneered this new form of emergent gameplay.
posted by ryanrs at 4:26 AM on March 28, 2013 [8 favorites]


The latest cool griefing tactic in EVE Online is naming all your space stations with Game of Thrones spoilers. As is often the case, Pandemic Legion pioneered this new form of emergent gameplay.

And apparently Walking Dead (comic and show) and Doctor Who as well.

What I'm saying is, don't click on that link, nerds.
posted by zombieflanders at 5:31 AM on March 28, 2013


But is it okay for me to copy this floppy?
posted by Mezentian at 6:02 AM on March 28, 2013


Only if you would download a car.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:09 AM on March 28, 2013


I hated Season One but suffered through since Mrs. Gotanda liked it.
Suffered even more as alleged 'people' who had read the doorstops harangued me for not liking it. Next, watched and kind of enjoyed Season Two.

Then, tried to go back and actually read the books. Didn't make it too far.

Looking forward to Season Three.
posted by Gotanda at 6:16 AM on March 28, 2013


Yeah, after the first two books, GRRM kind of lost his way, and all of the hack genre writer tricks started coming out while he was flailing around. You could tell he didn't intend for Tyrion to survive his battle, and for the series to survive the Red Wedding, Jon's promotion, or the conquest of Astapor. Yet it did.

The three subsequent books really only has enough stuff in it of worth for one, so we get the author generating and abusing clichés and using and re-using stock turns of phrase and plot diversions, hoping the story will somehow re-assert itself if he throws enough pages at it.

At the very end of A Dance With Dragons... it kind of did.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:23 AM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like the TV series for its escapism, for much the same reasons I like "Downton Abbey". Both have their issues, but are pretty, and with some good actresses and actors...

By the end of season 1, I had heard so much from fans here (in France!) about the books' back-and-forth and overdone phantasmagoricalicious verbiage that I just read the Wikipedia synopses of the books, which served to turn me off buying them (phew). So. Many. Contorted. Plots.
posted by fraula at 6:24 AM on March 28, 2013


I'm still trying to finish season one, which my wife gave me for Father's Day last year. I like it just fine, but it's hard to find time to watch it with four young kids in the house. The books, on the other hand, I can read while the kids are in the room, and they're not exposed to any violence, sex, or coarse language. As a matter of fact, I have entirely re-read the books since getting the DVDs of season one.
posted by Shohn at 6:26 AM on March 28, 2013


Why would I read these books when I already didn't read Tolkein?
posted by shakespeherian at 6:37 AM on March 28, 2013 [4 favorites]


Why would I read these books when I already didn't read Tolkein?

I just and proper society would shun you, sir.

(Plus there is more sex in GRRM. Sure, it's mostly rape, and often insect, and usually described in twee terms that would might Twi-hards roll their eyes, but it's the gateway drug to Wild Cards, and there is so much twisted sex in that I was warped for life).

Sadly, this is not a just and proper society, and you will not be punished with six months in an isocube with the Best of Tom Bombadill as your only companionship.
posted by Mezentian at 6:46 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Plus there is more sex in GRRM. Sure, it's mostly rape, and often insect...

Well, I agree GRRM is kinda pervy, but I don't recall any actual bug-fucking.
posted by maryrussell at 6:55 AM on March 28, 2013 [11 favorites]


Episode 9 is titled "The Rains of Castamere". Heeeeeee, ohhhh, but the internet is going to be amazing come May 27th.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:02 AM on March 28, 2013 [10 favorites]


Seriously, think of the time I could have saved simply not reading those execrable doorstops, but instead thinking of it as a frivolous little TV show with dragons, naked chicks, and Peter Dinklage?

See, I was told not to bother with ASoIaF because it would drive me nuts and never finish. So I didn't. Then I (eventually) watched season 1 of the tv show and had to read all the books to find out what happened next. But I don't really remember the plots from books 4 and 5 (or, to be honest, the details of the earlier plots -- I had to google "The Rains of Castamere" to find out that it was related to the Red Wedding).

However, as I strongly believe this is not a tv show to watch in the spring, I'll be saving them until December, as usual.
posted by jeather at 7:13 AM on March 28, 2013


Well, I agree GRRM is kinda pervy, but I don't recall any actual bug-fucking.

Sorry, that's my Raymond E Feist Tsurani slash fic.
As you were.
posted by Mezentian at 7:19 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


I avoided ASoIaF because I mistook it for Extruded Fantasy Product. Then right about when season 2 ended I was persuaded to watch the first episode to try it out, and promptly marathoned both seasons because damn, this show rules. Then I had to get the books- I got lucky and found the second book in perfect condition for a buck at Goodwill, and got the new TV-show branded paperbacks for the rest (well, the new one in hardback, because if I'd waited I would've forgot everything!). If you like ASoIaF, is the rest of Martin's work worth reading?
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:28 AM on March 28, 2013


Wait, Spartacus stopped being some sort of horribly acted gay beefcake show with over the top weird CGI and started being good?

Spoiler alert: There is lots of non-gay & beefcake lacking sex throughout the series. Lots.
posted by jmd82 at 7:31 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


'Game of Thrones is more brutally realistic than most historical novels'
posted by Artw at 7:40 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Spoiler alert: There is lots of non-gay & beefcake lacking sex throughout the series. Lots.

Like, seriously, if you were a teenager who liked girls when Xena was on, you might consider watching Spartacus.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:41 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


I notice the title for Episode Eight is simply blank. I expect the title will end up having the initials R.W.
posted by absalom at 7:52 AM on March 28, 2013


'Game of Thrones is more brutally realistic than most historical novels'

“They never tell you how they all shit themselves. They don’t put that part in the songs.”
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:52 AM on March 28, 2013


So, I'm excited because The Hold Steady is doing a song on the show this season, just like The National did "The Rains of Castamere" in season 2... but I'm also horribly conflicted because it's that fucking obnoxious bear song every third person shouted along to for a few books.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:25 AM on March 28, 2013


I notice the title for Episode Eight is simply blank. I expect the title will end up having the initials R.W.

No, no, look at the title for Episode Nine.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:29 AM on March 28, 2013


Oh, I saw that... It's just been so long since I read them that I can't make any direct connection, and the RW seems like the event so jaw dropping it can't even be titled in the episode listings. That was my logic.
posted by absalom at 8:49 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: I don't recall any actual bug-fucking.

I'm so sorry.
posted by quin at 9:00 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh lord. I couldn't make it through the second series because I was overwhelmed by the torture scenes and poor Sansa and because I was terrified for Arya and so on. When I mention these things to my son (who became a SOIAF nerd long before the series) he just kind of laughs this weird laugh and says "You have no idea." I'm bracing myself to watch the last three episodes of the second season so I'm ready to start with the third. It's going to ruin me, right?
posted by jokeefe at 9:05 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's going to ruin me, right?

I expect for some people that parts of the third series will be like The Machine in The Princess Bride. So far, some episodes have sucked one part of your innocence away. For many readers, there's at least one point at which Prince Humperdinck GRRM comes in and turns The Machine all the way up to fifty. Except there's no Inigo and Fezzik and Miracle Max to revive you with a bit of chocolate. Just drudgery and misery and pain and missing...things to haunt and disturb you.

Life is pain. Valar Morghulis.
posted by zombieflanders at 9:23 AM on March 28, 2013 [7 favorites]


If you like ASoIaF, is the rest of Martin's work worth reading?

I think so, but I started with Wild Cards in the '80s.
I'd grab the RRetrospective (either volume -- or both) and see how you go.
I really, really loved the Tuff stories, so that's all good.
And Dunk and Egg.


So, in mu summation: The man is a brilliant storyteller.

(His Twilight Zone is hit or miss, mind).
posted by Mezentian at 10:03 AM on March 28, 2013


Spoiler alert: There is lots of non-gay & beefcake lacking sex throughout the series. Lots.

I'mma pour out a 10 for Elizardbits here.
I need the 30, y'all.
posted by Mezentian at 10:05 AM on March 28, 2013 [6 favorites]


Life is pain. Valar Morghulis.

Valar Dohaeris. Damn, took too long to write the comment.

If you like ASoIaF, is the rest of Martin's work worth reading?

The Dunk and Egg novellas (or whatever he calls them) are a mixed bag. The first one is good for a fix and shows a layer of society that is relatively overlooked in ASOIAF, but it lacks complexity and the plot becomes stupid near the end. Having a limited number of protagonists is good for their life expectancy.

The second novella is terrible, the writing takes a plunge and the plot is uninteresting: copy paste 'clout in the ear’ and ‘his moustache trembled’ enough times to fill 80 pages or so and you've got an idea of what the book is like. He really phoned in that one. The third is less terrible than the second, but worse than the first, probably due to the unbelievable main plot and the repeated themes. There is some interesting backstory to be gleaned from the books, but don't come in with ASOIAF expectations.
posted by ersatz at 10:08 AM on March 28, 2013


One of my favorite Martin books is called Sandkings. It's a collection of his early short stories. The titular story is interesting to compare to ASoIaF, as it involves alien pets who establish little fiefdoms and fight to the death. It's also terrifying.
posted by Bistle at 10:09 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


The book nerds were devastated, absolutely devastated, that the TV show was not just scrolling text from the book.

I've read the first book, saw the first two seasons, and honestly, the TV show does an outstanding job of making the adaptation. If anything, the exposition is improved. The characters are still complex, but less ambiguous, which means we care more for them, and makes for more compelling storytelling.

The book made me want to slap Catelyn Stark before Ned even left for King's Landing. What a witch.

The books are good, really good. So is the HBO series. My biggest complaint is that the sex in the TV is ridiculously gratuitous, which is like saying the donuts are too sweet. Pfft.
posted by Xoebe at 10:28 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


I watched season 1 and then read the books. I think this is the right way to do it. Episode 9 was just brutal, and I think TV presentation made it more so. Because it was Sean Bean. The main character. It was so WTF for TV that OMG holy shit. Wha? Just like the oft linked video above. Because we ALL had that reaction in some way or another.

I debated about reading the books until the series was over. I was afraid reading the books would make the TV show less enjoyable, and in small ways it has, but damn, the books. I had to read a couple parts with all the lights on, and the part everyone is alluding to . . . I had to read and re-read it because I was just in disbelief. I think the tv show is going to make it much much worse. They're making it so you get to know some of the players and well. It's going to be a fun ride, that's for sure. I know a few people that are watching but not reading. Maybe we can do a group viewing that episode.

I've also read some speculation as to where the series might be going with supporting evidence. I realized I missed so much little stuff in the book, that I need to go read them again. Which I'm dreading. And yet I feel like I *have* to do it. If I missed the subtext I was presented with, how much other stuff have I missed? Stupid books.

My big beef about the tv show vs the books is I don't know that I buy Littlefinger as exclusively as evil as the TV show has presented. He's not exactly good, but the books never suggested to me he was needlessly cruel.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:38 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


My only gripe is that they left out Strong Belwas. He was a very entertaining character, and a very strong test of Daenerys' mettle as ruler - can she sacrifice a pawn when needed? What happens when the pawn Wrecks House and comes back alive, can she re-integrate him into her plans?
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:43 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meanwhile: Roose Change: Is Talisa a Lannister spy?
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:45 AM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


[insert clever name here]: With regards to Littlefinger...Really? He seems much colder and more scheming in the books.

One characterization that I hope they improve on is Cersei. As she stands in the book, you can see the places where Martin intend her to be more sympathetic, or at least understandable, but her power-hunger and paranoia tend to overwhelm everything. The TV writers and Lena Headley have been really hitting the maternal note hard in the show, though, so I guess they'll go that route.
posted by Weebot at 11:46 AM on March 28, 2013


I don't know about the books, but I think they really knocked it out if the park with her towards the end of season 2 - she goes from being a near cartoonish villain to someone who, even if you don't exactly sympathise with them you can see where they are coming from. That's quite a nice turnaround.

I dunno, will Joffery get a moment like that?
posted by Artw at 11:52 AM on March 28, 2013


The titular story is interesting to compare to ASoIaF, as it involves alien pets who establish little fiefdoms and fight to the death.

When GRRM was little, he had pet turtles that he kept in a castle playset. When the odd one would die, he'd make up back stories of their intrigues and plots.

He owes a lot to not being able to have a dog.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:53 AM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


but I'm also horribly conflicted because it's that fucking obnoxious bear song every third person shouted along to for a few books.

OK, here we go:

A bear there was,
A bear, A BEAR!
All black and brown,
And covered with hair!
Oh come they said,
Oh come to the fair!
The fair? said he,
But I'm a bear!
All black and brown,
And covered in hair!
And down the road,
From here to there,
From here!To there!
Three boys, a goat,
And a dancing bear!
They danced and spun,
All the way to the fair!
Oh! sweet she was,
And pure and fair,
The maid with honey,
In her hair! Her hair,
The maid with honey,
in her hair!
The bear smelled the scent,
On the summer air!
The Bear! The Bear!
All black and brown,
And covered with hair!
He smelled the scent,
On the summer air,
He sniffed and roared,
And smelled it there!
Honey on the summer air!
Oh I'm a maid,
And I'm pure and fair,
I'll never dance,
With a hairy bear,
A bear! A bear!
I'll never dance,
With a hairy bear!
The bear,the bear!
Lifted her high,
into the air!
The bear, the bear!
I called for a knight!
But you're a bear!
A bear! A bear,
All black and brown,
And cover in hair!
She kicked and wailed,
The maid so fair,
But he licked the honey,
From her hair!
Her hair! Her hair!
He licked the honey,
From her hair!
Then she sighed and squealed,
And kicked the air,
She sang: My bear so fair,
And off they went,
The bear! The bear!
And the maiden fair!
posted by Pendragon at 11:54 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


I hate you.
posted by elsietheeel at 12:17 PM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


We're not friends anymore.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:20 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


With regards to Littlefinger...Really? He seems much colder and more scheming in the books.

Colder and more scheming, yes. But he also doesn't partake in wonton cruelty. There is no point unless he has something to gain. Everything he does has a purpose. When he intentionally berates the whore in the the second season it just seemed so out of character. Why would he do that? At times in the book he almost seems compassionate. Severely twisted compassion, but not without some redeeming qualities.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 1:25 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


God, it's like Westerosi Piano Man.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:28 PM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Actually I suspect I know why he would. Lazy writing and they want us to know he's "evil".
posted by [insert clever name here] at 1:34 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Mmm wontons.
posted by elsietheeel at 1:36 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can the Ice Wall in Game of Thrones Survive Science?
posted by homunculus at 1:52 PM on March 28, 2013


My favorite George R. R. Martin book by far is Windhaven, which for some reason seems to have remained oddly obscure. (Possibly worth bearing in mind, in regards to how seriously you'd like to take my opinion, that I really liked the first book of A Song of Fire and Ice, but by the fourth book I was so bored and annoyed that I don't intend to bother with the rest of it.)
posted by kyrademon at 2:42 PM on March 28, 2013


The forth book is tough, especially since we don't see some of the characters. But stick it out, the 5th is much better. I think it's because he decided to break book 4 and 5 into two books, that you get this weird book that is a collection of things you need to know, but not a lot of interesting stuff happens. Stuff happens, but it's kind of boring.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:52 PM on March 28, 2013


Game of Thrones Death Generator: How Would You Die in Westeros?
posted by homunculus at 2:54 PM on March 28, 2013


I love watching the TV series with those in my family who haven't read the books. It's so much fun to live through their shock again vicariously.

When my youngest was reading the books, he was mouthing off about how Theon was such an obnoxious, arrogant jerk, and how come GRRM goes after the Good characters and not the jerks, etc., and trying to get me to tell him what was going to happen next all the time..

At the time, he didn't appreciate me keeping mum, but once he finished reading, and came to understand how very, very difficult it was not to divulge what I knew, he was pretty sheepish about trying to pick my brain for spoilers.

We are both SO looking forward to this season!
posted by misha at 3:11 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's so hard to talk about the show versus the novels without spoilering one, the other, or both. But I will say there are some things the show does better, in my estimation (because of the story changes, the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] will, I think, be somehow even more traumatizing), some things it does worse (look, I still think the Dany/Drogo stuff plays well, but there's much more of the noble savage to his character in the show, and one of the things I think is so fantastic about these novels is how much GRRM is deliberately fucking with the tropes of fantasy fiction, to a point where I think it's totally appropriate say his novels are to sword 'n' sorcery what Moore and Gibbons' Watchmen is to superheroes, and anyway the show kinda just does that trope here and it's disappointing even though it's still very good), and a lot of things it does about as well. I wouldn't want to pick one over the other, though I do wish the book series would stop spinning its wheels.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:07 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


If George R. R. Martin wrote it, who would die?: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars.
posted by Artw at 4:12 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


With regards to Littlefinger...Really? He seems much colder and more scheming in the books...At times in the book he almost seems compassionate.

Sometimes it is to his advantage to seem so. Book-Littlefinger is like all the best Diplomacy players I've ever played with: friendly, charming and considerate until he isn't.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:16 PM on March 28, 2013


The latest cool griefing tactic in EVE Online is naming all your space stations with Game of Thrones spoilers.

I should not have clicked that link. They're somehow griefing me despite my not having played in years. Don't make me come in there...

Best game ever.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:19 PM on March 28, 2013


Episode 9 is titled "The Rains of Castamere". Heeeeeee, ohhhh, but the internet is going to be amazing come May 27th.

If you introduce a loaded gun ominous song on stage in act one season two, expect someone to use it it to be ominous in act season three.


Meanwhile: Roose Change: Is Talisa a Lannister spy?

This is already my pet theory from trying to iron out the differences between the series and the books, but this video (despite some irrelevant or highly ambiguous points) is freakily convincing.
posted by dumbland at 5:16 PM on March 28, 2013


The forth book is tough, especially since we don't see some of the characters.

The consensus seems to be that AFFC is *much* better on your second read. First time through people tend to be annoyed at the added players, missing characters, etc.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:28 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


I should not have clicked that link.

As befits EVE, some of the spoilers are lies.
posted by ryanrs at 5:43 PM on March 28, 2013


I was laughing my ass off at the "Rage of Thrones" video because I saw far too much of it in myself. I have giant nerd rage at how mainstream love of F&SF has become. Because we used to suffer for our art! Our part of the bookstores was hidden in the back like porno in a video store so more refined tastes weren't offended! The cool types in high school looked down upon it! But now, no, freakin' everybody reads The Hunger Games and watches Game of Thrones and models are tweeting pictures of themselves with the books and shit.

Yeah, it means the fans won the battle. But seeing fandom co-opted into the mainstream is still a little melancholic as it means fans are no longer slans (I realize that was always tongue in cheek, mostly, but still) and likely the eventual demise of the very real fannish culture of the old SF cons.

But "I waited six fucking years for A Dance with Dragons... and now you jump on the fucking bandwagon" is comedy gold.
posted by Justinian at 5:59 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


I read the books, a few times over (well, those that are available). Yet I LOVE what has been done with GoT. HBO does really good work. Not very many times have I found myself loving a film adaption of books.

And the costume design. Oh, my. My hat's off to that team!
posted by _paegan_ at 11:50 PM on March 28, 2013


Westeros mapped onto Manhattan (and the rest of NYC).
posted by Navelgazer at 5:56 AM on March 29, 2013


Sometimes it is to his advantage to seem so. Book-Littlefinger is like all the best Diplomacy players I've ever played with: friendly, charming and considerate until he isn't.

On this tip - anyone who likes diplomacy should really check out the GoT board game, which is basically Diplomacy in Westeros with a few extra fun elements added. Probably the most fun I've had with a board game in years, and I'm a geek for that sort of thing. (Watch out if you start out as Lannister, though. You will be in a very weak position in control of lands that everybody wants.)
posted by Navelgazer at 7:46 AM on March 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, I've wanted to play that game for a while, but the only venue I know of is the biweekly Reddit board-game meetup in Boston. I haven't attended in a year or so.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:09 AM on March 29, 2013


The consensus seems to be that AFFC is *much* better on your second read.

Why can't people just accept that sometimes, books are not that good?

I'm being somewhat serious, here. I think the "how can you sully this brilliant literature with a mass media adaptation" thing can be a positive thing if we're talking about Faulkner or something. Not every literary property is meant to be adapted to the screen, and some of the greats (all the way down to Tolkien) are difficult to do justice. See, for example, the piles offorgettable Jane Eyre adaptations, or the fact that A Confederacy Of Dunces has been in development for at least 15 years now.

But, seriously, George R. R. Martin isn't Milton. If I have to read it a second time to really "get" it, maybe it's just not that good. Maybe it is actually better material for a TV show. Even if it isn't, maybe I can just take the most efficient route to being updated on this part of the story, and enjoy the pretty costumes and cool battle scenes, and catch the next book if it strikes my interest.

This is one of the things I just doing get about the whole SOIAF fandom. The books are OK, but they're not great literature. Frankly, Martin's style and the way he's chosen to structure the books* make them actively difficult to enjoy. Which doesn't make them somehow better, because you have to really try to read them. It just makes them not terribly compelling as fantasy novels. And that's fine.

*I especially hate his "teaser" first chapters where we start the book with a totally unknown and unimportant character usually doing something that is absolutely not important to the plot in any way. How the FUCK did that get past an editor? Because it's really the quickest way to lose your readers.
posted by Sara C. at 10:03 AM on March 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think you're seriously underrating the first couple of books, Sara C. The problem isn't that none of the books, including AFfC, are "that good", it's that AFfC and ADwD are both significantly worse books than the previous three, which are either the best epic fantasy since Tolkien or the best epic fantasy including Tolkien, depending on how you look at it.

How the FUCK did that get past an editor? Because it's really the quickest way to lose your readers.

I feel confident in saying this has been proven to be false given the size of Martin's audience and how it keeps growing.
posted by Justinian at 10:14 AM on March 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


The first book is pretty good. Good enough to get you invested in the characters after the first few pages of throwaway story. The world he builds is sort of neat, but ultimately deeply flawed in obvious ways. But the flaws don't really take you out of the story, so that's fine. The climactic plot twist is great, too.

The second book is a good follow up to the first book. It's full of great character work and wraps up some of the questions raised by the first book so you don't get too impatient about where this is all going.

The third book is full of insane plot twists, but otherwise starts to show its seams a little bit. It was like "stupid stupid stupid OOH WOW RED WEDDING NO FUCKING WAY stupid stupid stupid".

I did not get to the fourth book, because I started to get so annoyed by the third book that there seemed to be little point.

But that's the thing. It's OK to read a book and think "there's some good stuff here but it's not great literature". Not everything has to be THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED, BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD. I shouldn't feel compelled to like book three because books one and two were a fun ride. I shouldn't feel compelled to give book four multiple chances. Sometimes it's perfectly OK to just watch the sparkly TV show and enjoy it for what it is.
posted by Sara C. at 10:31 AM on March 29, 2013


I especially hate his "teaser" first chapters where we start the book with a totally unknown and unimportant character usually doing something that is absolutely not important to the plot in any way.

Uh, what? I really think you're remembering this incorrectly.

I guess we're sort of keeping spoilers out of this thread, but if you go to this wiki, you can look up the synopses of every chapter, including the prologues. The only one which the books could probably do without is from A Storm of Swords.

I personally like the prologues, because it's a good way to ease the reader back into the world of the story. To each their own.
posted by King Bee at 10:51 AM on March 29, 2013


I shouldn't feel compelled to give book four multiple chances.

Definitely not. I agree there's a lot of people glossing over the problematic quality of books four and five because they love the first couple of books so much. It definitely took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that Martin had completely lost control of the series.
posted by Justinian at 10:55 AM on March 29, 2013


If I have to read it a second time to really "get" it, maybe it's just not that good.

Now I'm curious about your take on Hemingway.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:53 AM on March 29, 2013


I think it's obvious from context that Sara C. wasn't talking about all novels, but about pulp novels like A Game of Thrones, some of which have big, defensive fandoms.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:18 PM on March 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


George R. R. Martin ain't Hemingway.
posted by Sara C. at 12:33 PM on March 29, 2013


Much the opposite of him, I'd argue. He could frankly use a "short declarative sentences with lots of verbs" refresher workshop.
posted by Sara C. at 12:34 PM on March 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


He could frankly use a "short declarative sentences with lots of verbs" refresher workshop

Mayhaps, but that wouldn't change the reread-ability a bit.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:10 PM on March 29, 2013


As though that were the only thing separating the one from the other.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:36 PM on March 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's not. It just happens to be the one under discussion.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:22 PM on March 29, 2013


Well, what did you mean by asking Sara's opinion of Hemingway?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:15 PM on March 29, 2013


As you may have gleaned from my previous post, I very much agree with Sara C. here. I had pretty much the exact same reaction upon reading them, except I went on to read the fourth book, somewhat to my regret.

I liked the first couple of books. Heck, I'll go further than that - I'll credit George R. R. Martin with being a seminal figure in launching the recent resurgence of "gritty" fantasy, a style I very much enjoy. I think that Joe Abercrombie, Richard Morgan, and a bunch of other authors I like may owe a lot to Martin.

But I didn't read the A Feast For Crows and think, well, that had some flaws. I thought it was a total trainwreck. Why would I read it again? So I can not enjoy it a second time? And it's not like that came from nowhere - as Sara C. pointed out, you could see it falling apart in book three. When book five came out, I read the reviews to see if things were getting back on track. Even the positive reviews of the book frankly convinced me that it wasn't worth it.

And to be honest, it really isn't a shock to anyone who knows his body of work. He has great, even brilliant ideas and then can't figure out how to bring them to a conclusion. Fevre Dream is pretty much a classic example of the same kind of thing.

I haven't seen the show, but I could readily believe it corrects some of the flaws of the books. A television series has a set, limited period to get all the plot across, and if adapted well can cut to the chase. The few television or movie adaptations that I ended up liking better than the books tend to be the ones that cut out some amount of pointless meandering. On the other hand, the television series is still in the "good" part of the books, so it may yet remain to be seen how they handle it when the books start having serious problems.

But to sum up - no, I didn't dislike A Feast for Crows because I failed to read it a second time. I disliked it because I disliked it.
posted by kyrademon at 5:56 PM on March 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, what did you mean by asking Sara's opinion of Hemingway?

I was questioning her dubious assertion. Sometimes you really need to read something more than once to get it. GRRM isn't Hemingway, but he's very good at leaving the unspoken alone.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:42 PM on March 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


I disagree. In the first book, for example, he can't even stop himself from saying (through Catelyn) that each House has its catchphrase. He then proceeds to repeat the point and the catchphrase (italicizing it in case you miss it) to the point of comedy.

Taken on its own, yeah, what Sara said is dubious, but some books are so stuffed with stock characters and conventional narrative tricks that any failure is pretty well immediately perceptible.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:09 PM on March 29, 2013


Believe it or not, I agree that AFfC and ADwD are trainwrecks. I don't think that invalidates the first 3 books being of monumental importance in modern fantasy, though. Not that anyone said it did. And I did re-read Feast. It didn't get better. If anything I was even more disappointed since I had just re-read the previous volumes and the contrast was startling.

Martin went off the rails when he changed his mind about a 5 year gap in the narrative. He's had to do so much juggling and sleight of hand that the whole thing has collapsed under its own weight. To dubiously combine some metaphors.
posted by Justinian at 8:34 PM on March 29, 2013


Actually, my real issue is the assumption that if a person doesn't like a work of literature, the problem must be with them. That they must have just not gotten it, and should probably try to read it again.

I mean, if the person in question is a fifth grader, I suppose. But at this point in my life I think I can assume that I have basic reading comprehension down pat and, if there's something I dislike, I probably just don't like it. There's even a strong chance that the flaw I'm noticing implies that the work isn't very good.

I don't reread books I dislike. If the defense of a book is "but it gets better the second time", that's really not much of a defense.

All this in service of my larger point -- sometimes the TV show is better. And that's fine. I don't really get why ASOIAF fans hold the series of novels to such an insanely high standard as to ridicule people who took the (quite sensible) path of watching the show rather than reading the books.
posted by Sara C. at 9:01 PM on March 29, 2013


That's all true. It's also true that one can dislike things even if they are good and re-reading won't make one like it better.
posted by Justinian at 9:11 PM on March 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Blackwater just got a Hugo nomination. In a same world that's a lock.
posted by Artw at 1:20 PM on March 30, 2013


The reason everybody in Westeros is an asshole is because if you're good, Santa will come.

Seriously, if you're reading this, click that link.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:47 AM on March 31, 2013 [5 favorites]


Happy Game of Thrones day.
posted by Justinian at 2:12 PM on March 31, 2013


Season Three of Game of Thrones Starts Tonight (Yay!), Will Have Less Tyrion Lannister (Boo!)
posted by homunculus at 2:39 PM on March 31, 2013


Just in case anyone wants to review all the trailers for Season 3, there you go.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:18 PM on March 31, 2013


Game of Thrones Charles Dance: 'I have to apologize to Peter Dinklage'
posted by homunculus at 10:57 PM on March 31, 2013


Why must you make Tywin harder to hate, you adorable softie?
posted by zombieflanders at 4:27 AM on April 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


The London Review of Books reviews Game of Thrones.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2013


HBO: Game of Thrones Piracy is a Compliment, Doesn’t Hurt Sales
posted by homunculus at 10:17 AM on April 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought episode one was a slow start. But last season's start was also slow and look how that turned out! They gotta lay the foundation for the rest of the season, I guess.
posted by Justinian at 4:28 PM on April 1, 2013


RE, thanks for the link. An interesting read even though I think he undersells fantasy in the French (Balzac, Chrétien de Troyes, Corneille, de Maupassant etc.) & Russian (Bulgakov, A. Tolstoy, Strugatsky) tradition and oversells the parallels of the seasons in Westeros to climate change/economic cycles.
posted by ersatz at 6:08 PM on April 1, 2013


Yeah. The climate change/economic crash speculations felt like an afterthought for the solemn and civic-minded.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 6:30 PM on April 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought episode one was a slow start...gotta lay the foundation for the rest of the season

It was solid, covered the ground that needed to be covered, and is defintely setting up the key storylines from here.

I think it's going to be good.
posted by never used baby shoes at 6:56 PM on April 1, 2013


I must say I am looking forward to two months from now. The internet is going to be epic.
posted by Justinian at 7:51 PM on April 1, 2013


I figure it will be about 10 times the eruption that followed the event of season 1.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:31 PM on April 1, 2013


I figure it will be about 10 times the eruption that followed the event of season 1.

But EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT.
People are just going to google it.

People in my office have.

Why do people hate surprises?
posted by Mezentian at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2013


5 fantasy series for A Song Of Ice And Fire fans for those of us waiting for the next book.

1. Joe Abercrombie – The First Law trilogy
2. Steven Erikson – Malazan, Book of the Fallen
3. Robin Hobb – The Farseer Trilogy
4. Tad Williams – Memory, Sorrow and Thorn
5. Pat Mills & Kevin O'Neill – Marshal Law


Must say, I've only read a short of Hobbs and Williams, and the presence of Uncle Pat on the list makes me wonder at the usefulness of such a list.

A friend recommended Mark Lawrence, but it sounds like the New Earth books.
posted by Mezentian at 9:18 PM on April 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


People are just going to google it.

Not all of us.
posted by homunculus at 10:12 PM on April 1, 2013


Silly homunculus I mean REAL PEOPLE.
posted by Mezentian at 3:48 AM on April 2, 2013


I know Mefi doesn't do Spoiler warnings and all that, but even if you didn't like the books I feel like it would be cool if you don't spoil the show for people who don't know what to expect this season. Others here, including me, have made an effort to be deliberately vague to avoid doing just that.

I'm not speaking for myself, btw, as I have read all the books, and enjoyed them (though I agree Martin lost his way around book four, he redeemed himself with A Dance With Dragons, and the sixth book looks like it is off to a great start). I also am not particularly fond of either Hemingway or Faulkner, if we are keeping score (The sound and the Fury was just a big old hot mess; if you want a non-neurotypical character's perspective, Flowers for Algernon is much better written).

I just don't like spoilers. Yes, I know there was that one study one time, purportedly showing they don't take away from the reader's enjoyment! i just know that for me, SPOILERS SUCK, and I have been screwed over by them before.

As a matter of fact, as I was reading the books, a significant plot twist at the END OF THE 2ND/BEGINNING OF THE 3RD BOOK was spoiled for me right here on Metafilter, in a thread about the FIRST SEASON of the TV show (a thread I felt was safe to read because I had already finished the first book and watched all those episodes!).

And it SUCKED.
posted by misha at 10:46 AM on April 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


he redeemed himself with A Dance With Dragons

What did you like about it apart from it being the first fix we'd had in many years? Because I thought it was a plodding, confused mess. The Theon chapters being the lone exception. Those were superb and stand with the best work in the series. Everything else was a waste of space.
posted by Justinian at 12:02 PM on April 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


hey you guys - you are doing it right now!!! even hinting at plot twists and discussing what you liked and didn't like about the books serves as a spoiler to those of us with active imaginations. (Of course, what I really want is to have already read them all and be able to join in the discussion, so I can totally see the temptation!)
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:19 PM on April 2, 2013


5 fantasy series for A Song Of Ice And Fire fans for those of us waiting for the next book.

I've been re-reading Harry Harrison's Hammer and Cross, which is working remarkably well to fill that empty space.

When I'm done, I'll probably grab Glen Cook's The Black Company series again. It goes weirdly off the rails now and again, but it's such a different approach to the whole sorcery epic battle thing, that it's worth checking out.
posted by quin at 12:28 PM on April 2, 2013


Silly homunculus I mean REAL PEOPLE.

Oh well sure, they would do that.
posted by homunculus at 12:40 PM on April 2, 2013


for those of us waiting for the next book.

The /r/asoiaf reading list.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:52 PM on April 2, 2013


But EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT.
People are just going to google it.


Even then, I've been surprised at what people miss. For example, during the first season, there was a bit of chatter about the parentage of one of the characters. Book readers have some definite theories on that, based on information not made available so far in the show (and it might never be; I'm not sure the show will find a way to work it all in), and the big theory is usually expressed as an equation with letters replacing names.

In one online discussion of the show I was following, someone who had not read the books did some googling to find out about the theory. Let's just say the assumptions made by that person about what the letters stood for were wildly amusing.

Re: ADWD Everything else was a waste of space.

I enjoyed ADWD, and found the final few chapters very interesting as several prophecies/foretellings start coming true.

I'm trying very hard to avoid spoilers here, so anyone interested can MeMail me.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:46 PM on April 2, 2013


5 fantasy series for A Song Of Ice And Fire fans for those of us waiting for the next book.

It's not a book, but I've been making my way through Mike Duncan's History of Rome podcast and finding that it hits many of the same pleasure centers as ASoIaF, with the added bonus that holy shit, this actually happened. Intrigue, high stakes, broad scope, and amazing characters- Hannibal and Julius Caesar are both weirder than any fiction.
posted by COBRA! at 1:55 PM on April 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


N+C=H

Ned + Cersei = Hotpie, AMIRITE?
posted by Justinian at 2:10 PM on April 2, 2013 [4 favorites]


No, it was T+A=eyeballs.

No, wait, that's HBOs formula...
posted by never used baby shoes at 2:38 PM on April 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


Where have all the wildlings gone?
posted by homunculus at 3:28 PM on April 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


How Magic Works In ‘Game of Thrones’
posted by homunculus at 6:05 PM on April 3, 2013


that last one is really good, people interested in how magic is applied in SF should read it.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:31 PM on April 3, 2013


Game of Thrones on Facebook

If Game Of Thrones took place entirely on Facebook: Season 3, Episode 1.

(Spoilers if you're not caught up on the TV show.)
posted by homunculus at 9:36 PM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


A Man's Game Of Thrones World - James Brown vs. GOT Theme music MASHUP
posted by homunculus at 12:17 PM on April 4, 2013


Wish Fufillment (College Humor)
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:01 PM on April 4, 2013 [3 favorites]


George R. R. Martin ain't Hemingway.

Ha. He's better. And I quit ASOIAF. Well, maybe when the next book comes out, I'll swipe it for my phone.

It's pulp fiction, but it has its moments. Book 4 was actually my fave. Book 1 is good; Book 2 is OK; Books 3 and 5 both mostly stink. I have very low expectations for the next.

I figure it will be about 10 times the eruption that followed the event of season 1.

Measured how? No way. It will be about the same impact. Season 3 has less novelty than Season 1, especially when they've done the same gimmick before. Season 3's event is a lot more telegraphed, imo. (Catelyn's repeated pleas to "Eat the bread!" is a total setup.)

Also, the books aren't great, but they are indeed much better than the TV show. The TV show usually puts me to sleep.

My favorite line was "I've been waiting 16 fucking years for winter!"

I'll get back into the TV show when they get to Nimble Dick.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:18 AM on April 9, 2013


ChurchHateTucker, that video is awesome. It's like the Quentin Tarantino version of GofT.
posted by misha at 9:54 AM on April 10, 2013


Wired is doing recaps of the show (with book spoilers redacted) which describe how the show differs from the books.

Recap: This Week’s Episode of Game of Thrones Deserves a Hand

I loved the opening scene with the bad archery and council scene with the musical chairs. I don't know if those were in the book, but those scenes were hilarious.
posted by homunculus at 12:16 PM on April 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


George RR Martin on why what happened last night happened.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:47 PM on April 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


From the Grantland recap: But are we really to believe that Daenerys was willing to swap one-third of her flame-throwing lizard inventory for 8,000 suicidal slave soldiers? Do dragons accept new masters more easily than poodles?

As a book reader: heh.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:58 AM on April 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


George R. R. Martin ain't Hemingway.

The truth is George R. R. Martin ain't Anne McCaffrey.

MOAR DRAGONS PLZ.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:28 AM on April 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


The truth is George R. R. Martin ain't Anne McCaffrey.

Thank fucking God.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:45 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


MOAR DRAGONS PLZ.

The relative slow building appearance of magic and magic related stuff in ASOIAF is very deliberate choice by Martin; I heard him speak on this once, and his point was that in Lord of the Rings, you see Gandalf perform about a half-dozen acts of magic "on screen", and even some of those are very simple (making light). Magic, from Martin's perspective should be MAGIC - mysterious, not entirely clear how it works, and rare. (I think his actual quote was that the characters "shouldn't go off to a boarding school to learn the rules"). Otherwise it ceases to be magic, it becomes just another part of the scenery. And its created the interesting "switch" referenced in a linked article upthread where the reader is aware that magic is present and active in the world, but the vast majority of the characters don't believe in it.

So I'm ok with limited exposure to the dragons and the white walkers...when they do show up, they need to pack a punch.
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:05 AM on April 17, 2013


Otherwise it ceases to be magic, it becomes just another part of the scenery.

I think it's the other way around: use it or lose it. The dragons ARE scenery for 99% of the books. So far.

when they do show up, they need to pack a punch

Agreed. Aside from their initial appearance, they really haven't (in the books). They're mostly eating sheep or chained up.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:45 PM on April 17, 2013


From the Grantland recap: But are we really to believe that Daenerys was willing to swap one-third of her flame-throwing lizard inventory for 8,000 suicidal slave soldiers? Do dragons accept new masters more easily than poodles?

As a book reader: heh.


Not a book reader, but they pretty much gave it away with last week's preview of this week's episode. I wish they wouldn't do that. Nevertheless, last night's denouement was quite satisfying. Bravo Daenerys.
posted by homunculus at 11:25 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm kind of in love with this new addition to Podrick's story for a couple reasons: 1, it makes him memorable which is good for when he pops out of the narrative for quite a while and 2, I totally love Varys getting distracted from his scheming by getting all gossipy because OF COURSE, he's probably the frickin TMZ of Westeros when he lets his guard down.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:09 AM on April 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, at first I was a little WTF with the Pod thing, but given that he is one of those almost constant background characters for a while who seems to have a knack for being around for important moments, the show does need to make him a little more memorable.

But poor Rickon seems to be forgotten in both book and show.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:58 AM on April 23, 2013


Track Varys's Mail-Order [Spoiler from last episode] From Game of Thrones
posted by homunculus at 4:28 PM on April 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Learn to Speak Dothraki and Valyrian From the Man Who Invented Them for Game of Thrones
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:36 PM on April 24, 2013


The Queen of Thorns vs. The Dowager Countess
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:12 PM on April 25, 2013


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