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March 28, 2013 10:38 AM   Subscribe

Cat Assassin [slyt | cute]
posted by quin (36 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
The dog's look at 0:08 is of one who knows their demise is imminent and inevitable, and has accepted their fate.
posted by kmz at 10:45 AM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


And...SCENE.
posted by Kitteh at 10:48 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't miss Cat Special Forces (same YouTube account).
posted by seemoreglass at 10:58 AM on March 28, 2013 [28 favorites]


Oh, shit! The cat at 1:35 in seemoreglass's link is sort of amazing. Whoa, kitty!
posted by heyho at 11:08 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


The way the dog looks at the camera...priceless. Oh God... this is going to be embarrassing. Please... save me.
posted by Decani at 11:09 AM on March 28, 2013


What? No. The dog's look to the camera clearly says, "We both know where this is going. Watch how much of a good sport I'm going to be." Then it does a reasonably convincing stage fall.

That dog is a good friend. Good job, dog friend.
posted by Mike Smith at 11:12 AM on March 28, 2013 [30 favorites]


Oh dear. I just watched seemoreglass's link. I am now dead from hilarity.
posted by Decani at 11:15 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Don't miss Cat Special Forces (same YouTube account).

The most responsible thing for a human to do when in the presence of an animal about to do something stupid is whip out the camera. Stand back, offer no help or intervention, and just film.
posted by phunniemee at 11:25 AM on March 28, 2013


Last night I got the opportunity to play with a cat outside in tall grass. He'd "hide" from be behind a thick patch, I'd go "rarr" at him and he'd run halfway up a nearby tree, then drop down again and I'd scratch him behind the ears.

Surprisingly entertaining, from both our perspectives.
posted by JHarris at 11:27 AM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


The most responsible thing for a human to do when in the presence of an animal about to do something stupid is whip out the camera. Stand back, offer no help or intervention, and just film

Eh, I know what you mean, but none of those videos seemed egregious. The only one where I was worried was the falling baby seat, which I doubt anyone saw coming. And the cat still recovered.

Kitty reaction time is a thing to behold. Short of a wheat thresher or open flame, young healthy cats are surprisingly bad at injuring themselves, especially if they're able to learn from relatively harmless mistakes.
posted by Mike Smith at 11:34 AM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Eh, I know what you mean, but none of those videos seemed egregious.

Um, I was being completely serious. Animals live, frolic, and get into trouble solely for my entertainment. The more people with cameras and youtube accounts who know this, the better.
posted by phunniemee at 11:36 AM on March 28, 2013 [5 favorites]


If a cat's decided to make a totally awesome (and unwise) leap, no human can stop them. Cats, curiosity, etc...
posted by Kevin Street at 11:39 AM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


WAIT YOU MEAN YOU WANT THE YOUNG HEALTHY CATS TO INJURE THEMSELVES
posted by Mike Smith at 11:39 AM on March 28, 2013


Oh, and that dog is a true Russian. He (or she) is the proletariat with cute little ears, continually suffering the abuse of the pouncy classes.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:46 AM on March 28, 2013 [6 favorites]


True fact of the Internet: Russians have the best cat videos.
posted by platinum at 11:59 AM on March 28, 2013 [6 favorites]


Oh dear. I just watched seemoreglass's link. I am now dead from hilarity.

Totally worth it for the spectacular parkour cat on display at 1:35.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:05 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Totally worth it for the spectacular parkour cat on display at 1:35.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:05 PM on March 28


Those were some mad wall-of-death sticky-paws skillz.
posted by Decani at 12:10 PM on March 28, 2013 [6 favorites]


Now imagine the awesomeness when Russian cat videos are combined with Russian dashcam videos.
posted by briank at 12:18 PM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


Kitty reaction time is a thing to behold. Short of a wheat thresher or open flame, young healthy cats are surprisingly bad at injuring themselves, especially if they're able to learn from relatively harmless mistakes.

Yeah, my first reaction in those situations would be "do something to help the kitten succeed" like holding the swinging door. But the reason young cats pull these crazy-but-harmless maneuvers is to learn what works and what doesn't. That little kitty has now worked out that the top of a freestanding door is not a secure target.

I do feel sorry for all those scrabbling, plummeting cats which evolved in an environment where all surfaces are rough and grainy enough for their claws to get traction. We humans have built a slick plastic world that deceives them.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 12:27 PM on March 28, 2013 [4 favorites]


Those were some mad wall-of-death sticky-paws skillz.

I'm guessing from the apartment's look the walls themselves may have been the source of the sticky.
posted by srboisvert at 12:43 PM on March 28, 2013


This makes me wish I had a camera when my Kitty (then a kitten, now 15 years old) fell from a 1-story balcony after she decided it was a good idea to play weave pole around the balcony banisters. I even said "Kitty, you're gonna fall!" not 30 seconds before she fell. At the time I was horrified (though my brother was laughing uncontrollably) but man what I would do for that video today.

Also for a video of the time she jumped out of a paper bag and got the handle wrapped around her neck, and proceeded to lose her mind and tear around the house with my normally cat-friendly greyhound chasing at her heels. Another time that I told her to stop or she'd get stuck but she just wouldn't listen.
posted by misskaz at 12:44 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


My favorite part of these videos is the glimpses into people's apartments and houses.
posted by oneironaut at 12:49 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeesh, my reaction to most of those clips is "Clean your damned house, you are living in squalor." (I'm referring to seemoreglass' link)
posted by Mr. Big Business at 12:57 PM on March 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


Any Bay Area folks should hit the East Bay to get their fill at the first Oakland Cat Video Festival
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:00 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


KITTEH, WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?
posted by brundlefly at 1:05 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


True fact of the Internet: Russians have the best cat videos.

Indeed, they are winning the global LOLcat video race.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:48 PM on March 28, 2013


Indeed, they are winning the global LOLcat video race.

We need more investment if we are to avoid being left behind.

I also think this would be a better use of the PRK's efforts if they are so insistent on sabre rattling at the expense of a hungry populace. /geopolitics
posted by arcticseal at 1:54 PM on March 28, 2013


Clearly, that is not an assassin, but a vampire cat. The poor dog has been mesmerized by the undead power of the tiny beast, who has been draining the life from pooches for centuries!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:00 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cats' stalking behavior was the single biggest factor in bringing me over from the world of cat indifference. They love taking cover (or hiding in plain sight in that guy's case) and suddenly getting people! And then fighting! And then escaping! They're so relatable!
posted by ignignokt at 4:07 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


This used to be a daily occurrence in my house. Only, my dog is a 100 lbs.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:15 PM on March 28, 2013


Wasn't this a scene in the most recent episode of The Americans?
posted by dry white toast at 8:23 PM on March 28, 2013


I think the Russians are winning at Youtube generally. I want to learn Russian, exclusively for their youtubes.

Buuut it's still hard to compete with Japanese cat videos.
posted by zjacreman at 9:48 PM on March 28, 2013


We choose to make the most LOLest cat video ever in this decade, and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard!
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 10:19 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh dear. I just watched seemoreglass's link. I am now dead from hilarity.

Totally worth it for the spectacular parkour cat on display at 1:35.

While I was helping a friend of mine move I witnessed her cat lose his mind over all the chaos. He was a big old Maine Coon, probably weighed about 20 pounds, and as we were getting ready to carry some boxes out of the kitchen he suddenly appeared out of nowhere, scaled his way halfway up her wall, and ran horizontally across one wall, turned the corner and ran across the adjoining wall out of the kitchen. I have never seen anything like it! We were all stunned into silence.

I wish we had filmed it.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:15 PM on March 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


X-Men Origins: Cyclops Cat
posted by homunculus at 5:31 PM on March 30, 2013


First the serious, assassin-cat style story:

One afternoon I was just settling into a bathtub when my cat came trotting into the bathroom with a mouse he'd just caught. A very much still alive mouse he had just caught. He trotted to the middle of the bathroom floor, wriggling mouse in his jaws, and proceeded to use my bathmat as his killing floor. "Oh dear," I thought, "I'd better stay here in the tub until he's done."

It took him twenty minutes. My little boy was a stone-cold sadist the way he toyed with that thing. He was doing the kinds of things Tarantino would have scored with a Steelers Wheel song. When it was over, he just left the mouse there lying on the mat, delicately washed his face, and ambled out of the bathroom, giving me one glance over his shoulder as he left. I gave him a veeeeery wide berth the rest of the day.

But then, same cat, a klutz story:

I was cleaning house one day and heard this strange thumping noise in the kitchen; I followed it and found it was my cat, perched on the edge of the kitchen table, watching a pigeon on the kitchen windowsill outside. The thumping was his tail lashing back and forth against the cupboards.

I just stood back and watched as he got further into watching, tail lashing back and forth as he crouched, watching the pigeon on the sill. His haunches tensed. He started the "I'm gonna jump" butt-wiggle. He crouched. He jumped.

He hit the kitchen windowpane head first.

He landed on the floor, feet-first, and just stood there blinking as I cracked up. He finally shook himself, gave me one very grumpy "I meant to do that" look and stalked into the bathroom, where he hid behind the tub for an hour.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:09 PM on March 31, 2013 [2 favorites]


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