"Sometimes just *being* is enough"

April 7, 2013 8:52 AM

A lighthearted [blah blah blah] Because whenever you describe something as 'lighthearted' it usually means they've taken a serious subject and can't talk about it properly. This father seems to have genuinely managed to talk about having an autistic son, and the ups and downs that entails.

The blog used to be quiet, apparently, but after being featured on the BBC Magazine section, it has gone from 150 visits a day to over 125k visits in total.

Any of the posts are worth reading, but this one, on being special (in all the ways that suggests) is particularly moving.

posted by lucullus (4 comments total)

Damnit... Thanks for the tears, jerk.

Seriously, though. My sister (who is going to be 50 this year (woah)) doesn't have autism, but she does have borderline personality. It makes her very difficult to deal with. I have all but given up on her to protect myself, and it upsets my mother who has done everything she can to deal with my difficult sister and it pains my mom to see my dad and I (the last two immediate family members alive besides herself) refusing to talk to my sister.

And then I read this, and it hits me how big of a mean jerk I must be. And the compassion I feel for the child of this man and the sadness of the loss of meaningful interaction... The love the dad feels for his child, despite all the difficulties, and it gave me an insight into my own mother's love for her daughter that goes far beyond what I can comprehend.

Everyone should have some form of love in their life.
posted by symbioid at 10:12 AM on April 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

As someone who worked as a special student assistant for many years I will point out that autism and borderline personality are utterly different. It may very well be that not talking to your sister is the best that can be done. You can love her as best as you can from a distance.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 10:24 AM on April 7, 2013 [4 favorites]

At first I couldn't read enough but, eventually, it became a painful reminder of my oldest daughter's childhood during the early 90s. She was not diagnosed with anything - the various doctors and counselors we saw didn't know what to tell us about her behavior. It was several challenging years, a lot of trial and error.

I'm so relieved she grew into a wonderful adult. I sincerely hope what she struggled with isn't something that passes to her children.

But I can't read that blog anymore. It hurts too much.
posted by _paegan_ at 12:40 PM on April 7, 2013

Some other writing on parenting an autistic child that I really love.
posted by Margalo Epps at 1:52 PM on April 8, 2013