Back For Another Bite!
April 22, 2013 4:48 AM Subscribe
Liverpool's Luis Suarez bit Chelsea's Brankslave Ivanovic on the arm during Sunday's Liverpool-Chelsea football (soccer) game sending the media into a frenzy.
But this is not the first time he's bitten another player. In 2010, while in the Dutch Eredivisie, he bit Otman Bakkal.
He also was suspended for 8 games this year for racist comments.
However, he has a new twitter follower: Mike Tyson who bit Evander Holyfield's ear in a prize fight in 1997.
If he's banned for a long while, it could hurt Liverpool badly - for them he's hardly a bit player.
posted by shortfuse at 5:03 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by shortfuse at 5:03 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Luis Suárez bite: 10 of the best memes - in pictures
posted by shortfuse at 5:05 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by shortfuse at 5:05 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
And that's just his club career. Internationally, you're forgetting his 2010 World Cup handball that denied Ghana and his more recent face-punch on Chile's Gonzalo Jara.
Suarez is one of the most frustrating and frustrated players in the Premier League. He can pretty much walk through defenses, but since there's no other Suarez for him to pass to, he usually ends up scuffing a shot wide, which gets him mad, which means he starts to do stupid things like bite people.
He's been fined by the club (money will be going to Hillsborough families) and quickly issued an apology. Liverpool learned their lesson with Suarez earlier that they can't really close ranks around him so I doubt they'll challenge any FA decision.
They say he's not going anywhere, but we'll see. I don't see Pep wanteding to deal with his antics at Bayern, but Juve might still be willing to pony up for him. shortfuse is right that he's not a bit player for LFC - if he goes, the club will likely have to spend more than they get for him for an adequate replacement that won't stall the Rodgers revolution.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:11 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
Suarez is one of the most frustrating and frustrated players in the Premier League. He can pretty much walk through defenses, but since there's no other Suarez for him to pass to, he usually ends up scuffing a shot wide, which gets him mad, which means he starts to do stupid things like bite people.
He's been fined by the club (money will be going to Hillsborough families) and quickly issued an apology. Liverpool learned their lesson with Suarez earlier that they can't really close ranks around him so I doubt they'll challenge any FA decision.
They say he's not going anywhere, but we'll see. I don't see Pep wanteding to deal with his antics at Bayern, but Juve might still be willing to pony up for him. shortfuse is right that he's not a bit player for LFC - if he goes, the club will likely have to spend more than they get for him for an adequate replacement that won't stall the Rodgers revolution.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:11 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
Love him or loathe him, Suarez is a born chompian.
posted by cincinnatus c at 5:12 AM on April 22, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by cincinnatus c at 5:12 AM on April 22, 2013 [9 favorites]
Also, despite the bite, he got all 3 bonus points in the fantasy league game. Beep-boop, stats robot does not compute hoo-man flesh.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:13 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:13 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yeah, saw the game, was awful. But then, as mentioned on MOTD 2, a British player did this a while ago and only got a yellow card and no ban, so the FA have set themselves a precedent. But this is LFC and Suarez, so I am prepared for an 8 match ban. Manu and Arsenal would get away with it as the FA loves them. In fact, didn't david dein work at the FA after working at Arse?
The actual worst bit(e) of the game was the lousy first half until he brought on Sturridge and he was fantastic and changed the game. Funny though, whenever Sturridge scores, Suzrez congratulates him big time. Fucking FA and their bullshit "no evidence" ban.
posted by marienbad at 5:20 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
The actual worst bit(e) of the game was the lousy first half until he brought on Sturridge and he was fantastic and changed the game. Funny though, whenever Sturridge scores, Suzrez congratulates him big time. Fucking FA and their bullshit "no evidence" ban.
posted by marienbad at 5:20 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
marienbad - This one? Jermaine Defoe 'bites' Javier Mascherano
posted by shortfuse at 5:23 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by shortfuse at 5:23 AM on April 22, 2013
Beep-boop, stats robot does not compute hoo-man flesh.
Or perhaps it does . . .
posted by yerfatma at 5:30 AM on April 22, 2013
Or perhaps it does . . .
posted by yerfatma at 5:30 AM on April 22, 2013
If that's the case, just tell me where to send the long pork so that I may remain in the top spot of the Metafilter league.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:34 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:34 AM on April 22, 2013
So next week the BBC will have a special where they do recipes for human flesh and point out that on the continent it is considered a delicacy.
posted by srboisvert at 5:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 5:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Suarez is an incredibly entertaining player in whatever he does, whether it is scoring goals, biting people, or whatever. He's like Mario Balotelli, despite his faults, he is never, ever, boring.
I don't think this is a huge deal in the grand scheme of things and he should get a three game ban. That will hurt Liverpool immensely right now as Suarez is really their key player.
posted by josher71 at 6:13 AM on April 22, 2013
I don't think this is a huge deal in the grand scheme of things and he should get a three game ban. That will hurt Liverpool immensely right now as Suarez is really their key player.
posted by josher71 at 6:13 AM on April 22, 2013
In 2006, Tyson agreed to join Heidi Fleiss’ legal brothel in Nevada as a prostitute.
Wait what?
posted by nathancaswell at 6:18 AM on April 22, 2013
Wait what?
posted by nathancaswell at 6:18 AM on April 22, 2013
Yeah, saw the game, was awful. But then, as mentioned on MOTD 2, a British player did this a while ago and only got a yellow card and no ban, so the FA have set themselves a precedent.
He bit a player and got a yellow card? Per the laws of the game, you should get a red for spitting at another player; you'd think biting would be at least as bad.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:28 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
He bit a player and got a yellow card? Per the laws of the game, you should get a red for spitting at another player; you'd think biting would be at least as bad.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:28 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
A specialist canine unit will will take imprints of the bite marks and investigate whether Suarez assaulted Ivanovic.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:36 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by MuffinMan at 6:36 AM on April 22, 2013
For reference Suarez was banned for 7 games for the biting at Ajax.
He seems to be apologizing without reservations. He also said he talked to Ivanovich and his apology was accepted.
Weird thing to watch a guy bite another guy on live TV. Must have been bewildering for Ivanovich, the definition of WTF.
posted by shortfuse at 6:39 AM on April 22, 2013
He seems to be apologizing without reservations. He also said he talked to Ivanovich and his apology was accepted.
Weird thing to watch a guy bite another guy on live TV. Must have been bewildering for Ivanovich, the definition of WTF.
posted by shortfuse at 6:39 AM on April 22, 2013
Suarez is an incredibly entertaining player in whatever he does, whether it is scoring goals, biting people, or whatever. He's like Mario Balotelli, despite his faults, he is never, ever, boring.
They should get them together in one team somehow. Plus Barton. And Drogba, Busquets, Pepe. Maybe David Luis. The most entertaining / frustrating / theatrical / unpredictable team ever.
posted by shortfuse at 6:43 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
They should get them together in one team somehow. Plus Barton. And Drogba, Busquets, Pepe. Maybe David Luis. The most entertaining / frustrating / theatrical / unpredictable team ever.
posted by shortfuse at 6:43 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
BBC Sportsday has links to Newspaper articles, with The Sun saying "that Liverpool must put ethics above expediency." Excuse me while I throw up.
posted by marienbad at 6:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by marienbad at 6:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
They should get them together in one team somehow. Plus Barton. And Drogba, Busquets, Pepe. Maybe David Luis. The most entertaining / frustrating / theatrical / unpredictable team ever.
Why am I not a billionaire who could make this happen? ARE YOU LISTENING PETER COATES?!
posted by josher71 at 6:51 AM on April 22, 2013
Why am I not a billionaire who could make this happen? ARE YOU LISTENING PETER COATES?!
posted by josher71 at 6:51 AM on April 22, 2013
In 2006, Tyson agreed to join Heidi Fleiss’ legal brothel in Nevada as a prostitute.
Tagline: come on then if you think I'm hard enough.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:53 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Tagline: come on then if you think I'm hard enough.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:53 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, as commented in that BBC link - look at Cantona in the 90's. Did manu sell him? did they fuck.
posted by marienbad at 6:53 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by marienbad at 6:53 AM on April 22, 2013
He dives! He bites! He only likes the whites! Luis Suarez! Luis Suarez!
posted by PenDevil at 7:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by PenDevil at 7:49 AM on April 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
I heard it as:
"He bites! He dives! He hates the Jackson Five! Luis Suarez! Luis Suarez!"
posted by garius at 8:21 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
"He bites! He dives! He hates the Jackson Five! Luis Suarez! Luis Suarez!"
posted by garius at 8:21 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
They should get them together in one team somehow. Plus Barton. And Drogba, Busquets, Pepe. Maybe David Luis. The most entertaining / frustrating / theatrical / unpredictable team ever.
Vinnie Jones to manage.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:25 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Vinnie Jones to manage.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:25 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I doubt that much will come of this, other than the giant footnote beside his name in the history books getting more detailed.
But I'd also have no qualms if a bitten player reciprocated with a vociferous gnashing of his own.
Caveat: I believe that some people on this planet deserve a beating. Suarez yes, Balotelli not so much. I mean, at least Balotelli's stupid sh*^ only affects himself or that individual game. I'd imagine an open wound during the course of a game risks infection by whatever indigenous cultures that have survived inside Suarez's gams. Not to mention any permanent muscular damage.
posted by Blue_Villain at 8:33 AM on April 22, 2013
But I'd also have no qualms if a bitten player reciprocated with a vociferous gnashing of his own.
Caveat: I believe that some people on this planet deserve a beating. Suarez yes, Balotelli not so much. I mean, at least Balotelli's stupid sh*^ only affects himself or that individual game. I'd imagine an open wound during the course of a game risks infection by whatever indigenous cultures that have survived inside Suarez's gams. Not to mention any permanent muscular damage.
posted by Blue_Villain at 8:33 AM on April 22, 2013
Racist comments earn a greater suspension than physically assaulting your competitors? And where are the police on this? It doesn't stop being assault and battery because it happens during a sporting event.
posted by Mitrovarr at 9:18 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by Mitrovarr at 9:18 AM on April 22, 2013
Given that 1 - he has done it before and 2- he seems like he is actually sorry, I wonder if he doesn't have some hard to control compulsion, perhaps the best thing would be to require him to wear a mouth guard while playing.
posted by edgeways at 9:27 AM on April 22, 2013
posted by edgeways at 9:27 AM on April 22, 2013
A Hannibal Lecter-type muzzle.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 9:28 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 9:28 AM on April 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Cone of shame!
posted by eriko at 9:30 AM on April 22, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by eriko at 9:30 AM on April 22, 2013 [7 favorites]
Suarez is amazing, and despicable, but also amazing.
In that one game versus Chelsea: he made the final assist pass which lead to a goal; deliberately handed the ball in his own box and conceded a penalty, which was scored; sneakily bit another player in frustration and escaped without punishment; and in extra time, with what must have been the last touch of the game, he scored the goal that earned his team a draw (2-2). He was involved in three of the four goals and could have been sent off twice. Brilliant!
posted by quosimosaur at 9:40 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
In that one game versus Chelsea: he made the final assist pass which lead to a goal; deliberately handed the ball in his own box and conceded a penalty, which was scored; sneakily bit another player in frustration and escaped without punishment; and in extra time, with what must have been the last touch of the game, he scored the goal that earned his team a draw (2-2). He was involved in three of the four goals and could have been sent off twice. Brilliant!
posted by quosimosaur at 9:40 AM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Anyone who had done that in a game at my old school would have been called a big fucking girl and pursued around the pitch by both teams getting his face slapped and his hair pulled, amidst much exaggerated shrieking and merriment. He would never, ever have been allowed to live it down for the rest of his school life.
The seventies were a very unreconstructed and politically unsound time, but sometimes I miss them.
posted by Decani at 9:56 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
The seventies were a very unreconstructed and politically unsound time, but sometimes I miss them.
posted by Decani at 9:56 AM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Soccer (and other sports) should have a kind of flagrant foul called a "nuttable offense." Meaning, after the offense is called, play stops, and the guy who had been fouled (bitten) gets to kick the offender once in the nuts as hard as he'd like. Then play resumes as normal.
(Many non-sports crimes should have a similar penalty.)
posted by chasing at 10:10 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
(Many non-sports crimes should have a similar penalty.)
posted by chasing at 10:10 AM on April 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
I'm surprised the police aren't involved since that would classify as assault.
I used to be a biter as a small child, got instantly cured of it when my mother turned around and bit me back.
posted by arcticseal at 10:25 AM on April 22, 2013
I used to be a biter as a small child, got instantly cured of it when my mother turned around and bit me back.
posted by arcticseal at 10:25 AM on April 22, 2013
Suarez is amazing, and despicable, but also amazing.
No joke.
posted by asterix at 10:32 AM on April 22, 2013
No joke.
posted by asterix at 10:32 AM on April 22, 2013
"nuttable offense."
Funny, my response was "immediate cock punch payback" too.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:35 AM on April 22, 2013
Funny, my response was "immediate cock punch payback" too.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:35 AM on April 22, 2013
""nuttable offense."
Funny, my response was "immediate cock punch payback" too."
posted by benito.strauss
And the same for Defoe then, yes? And how about Cantona who Kung-fu kicked a fan?
Nevermind, the FA have already made up their minds.
posted by marienbad at 12:01 PM on April 22, 2013
Funny, my response was "immediate cock punch payback" too."
posted by benito.strauss
And the same for Defoe then, yes? And how about Cantona who Kung-fu kicked a fan?
Nevermind, the FA have already made up their minds.
posted by marienbad at 12:01 PM on April 22, 2013
...and tonight on ITV Sport:
Following this weekend's match, opposing fans have agreed to retire the popular "Luis Suarez, you know what you are," chants, as the Liverpool striker seems genuinely confused as to which of his many personal failings he's being abused for at any given time.posted by Kreiger at 12:04 PM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Fan groups are now soliciting chants or songs specifically related to biting, cheating, diving, or racism to see them through the Premier League run-in.
He bit a player and got a yellow card? Per the laws of the game, you should get a red for spitting at another player; you'd think biting would be at least as bad.
Apparently the refs didn't see it.
posted by jacalata at 12:23 PM on April 22, 2013
Apparently the refs didn't see it.
posted by jacalata at 12:23 PM on April 22, 2013
Suarez is amazing, and despicable, but also amazing.
I wasn't going to be the one to come out with praise for the diving racist cannibal, but you are right. If I had to have one free kick specialist ... nah, it would still be Zlatan.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:32 PM on April 22, 2013
I wasn't going to be the one to come out with praise for the diving racist cannibal, but you are right. If I had to have one free kick specialist ... nah, it would still be Zlatan.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:32 PM on April 22, 2013
Great aim, but I feel like Hart would have saved it had he not shifted to his right at the last second. This by Zlatan, on the other hand...
posted by shortfuse at 12:43 PM on April 22, 2013
posted by shortfuse at 12:43 PM on April 22, 2013
And where are the police on this? It doesn't stop being assault and battery because it happens during a sporting event.
>I'm surprised the police aren't involved since that would classify as assault.
They interviewed Ivanovic, but he didn't want to press charges. I also think Liverpool will arrange anger management for him. Brilliant player but terrible sportsman.
posted by ersatz at 12:49 PM on April 22, 2013
>I'm surprised the police aren't involved since that would classify as assault.
They interviewed Ivanovic, but he didn't want to press charges. I also think Liverpool will arrange anger management for him. Brilliant player but terrible sportsman.
posted by ersatz at 12:49 PM on April 22, 2013
This by Zlatan, on the other hand...
Awesome goal, of course, but the whole reason he takes that crazy shot is because the goalie is out of position.
In comparison, speaking of goalies out of position, how would you like to make your hat trick ... from 200 feet out?
posted by mrgrimm at 1:19 PM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Awesome goal, of course, but the whole reason he takes that crazy shot is because the goalie is out of position.
In comparison, speaking of goalies out of position, how would you like to make your hat trick ... from 200 feet out?
posted by mrgrimm at 1:19 PM on April 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Oh since we're talking about Suarez: what is that red thing he has on his hand that he kisses when he scores? It seems to cover just 2 of his fingers. I thought it was some sort of athletic tape, but why those 2 fingers for a footballer?
posted by shortfuse at 1:24 PM on April 22, 2013
posted by shortfuse at 1:24 PM on April 22, 2013
He bit a player and got a yellow card? Per the laws of the game, you should get a red for spitting at another player; you'd think biting would be at least as bad.
No, no, think it through: with Suarez's method, the saliva is moving at a much slower velocity and thus poses less of a hazard.
posted by cortex at 1:30 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
No, no, think it through: with Suarez's method, the saliva is moving at a much slower velocity and thus poses less of a hazard.
posted by cortex at 1:30 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
The Sun saying "that Liverpool must put ethics above expediency.
Suarez fine's going to the Hillsborough survivors fund. So yeah.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:53 PM on April 22, 2013
Suarez fine's going to the Hillsborough survivors fund. So yeah.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:53 PM on April 22, 2013
I thought it was some sort of athletic tape, but why those 2 fingers for a footballer?
I haven't actually noticed this, but my guess is he wears a wedding ring and the rules indicate he must cover it.
posted by terrapin at 2:03 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I haven't actually noticed this, but my guess is he wears a wedding ring and the rules indicate he must cover it.
posted by terrapin at 2:03 PM on April 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
LOL moment caught on camera: Evra is right now celebrating the championship at Old Trafford, and someone has thrown onto the field in front of him a fake plastic bloodied stump of an arm. He picks it up, smiling, and makes a quick motion like he's taking a bite out of it. Then he merrily walks away, swinging the fake arm.
posted by shortfuse at 2:06 PM on April 22, 2013
posted by shortfuse at 2:06 PM on April 22, 2013
...and a video of it. :-D
Who says footballers aren't funny?
posted by Kreiger at 2:38 PM on April 22, 2013
Who says footballers aren't funny?
posted by Kreiger at 2:38 PM on April 22, 2013
Joking about inexcusable actions like this is in extremely bad taste.
Ahem.
COYB!
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:45 PM on April 22, 2013
Ahem.
COYB!
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:45 PM on April 22, 2013
This by Zlatan , on the other hand...
I still look at this and wonder how he didn't dislocate his leg making that shot. I don't know anyone else who would even think about trying it.
posted by BillW at 6:21 AM on April 23, 2013
I still look at this and wonder how he didn't dislocate his leg making that shot. I don't know anyone else who would even think about trying it.
posted by BillW at 6:21 AM on April 23, 2013
I just saw a still shot on BBC [here is the photo on BBC] and notice the tape is on the index finger of his right hand. I have no idea if he wears it all the time, but if he doesn't it could be an injury that required being covered if there was blood. If he does it all the time, it is a fashion/superstition perhaps. No matter what he is still a first-rate tool.
posted by terrapin at 6:58 AM on April 24, 2013
posted by terrapin at 6:58 AM on April 24, 2013
10 match ban, will likely be contested.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:59 AM on April 24, 2013
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:59 AM on April 24, 2013
I still look at this and wonder how he didn't dislocate his leg making that shot. I don't know anyone else who would even think about trying it.
Well, he does have one hell of a leg. Maybe even two. (That last one is almost more impressive than the 50-foot bicycle.)
posted by mrgrimm at 8:21 AM on April 24, 2013
Well, he does have one hell of a leg. Maybe even two. (That last one is almost more impressive than the 50-foot bicycle.)
posted by mrgrimm at 8:21 AM on April 24, 2013
Ten games! The FA saw the ridiculous competition to be the most aggrieved (The Sun and Souness? Really? Do one) and reminded everyone that they do stupid like no other can.
Ten.
El Oh El.
posted by fullerine at 8:45 AM on April 24, 2013
Ten.
El Oh El.
posted by fullerine at 8:45 AM on April 24, 2013
Serious question: Why is 10 games so bad? Is it anything other than for the team losing a good player for awhile? I know punches only get a 3 game ban right? But that aside, he has bitten people repeatedly plus the racial abuse from last year. I know that good players generally can get away with anything but isn't serious consequences for bad behavior a step in the right direction?
posted by triggerfinger at 4:26 PM on April 24, 2013
posted by triggerfinger at 4:26 PM on April 24, 2013
Not clear why ten is outrageous when a previous player who bit a player got seven games and (SPOILER ALERT) that was Suarez too.
posted by yerfatma at 7:32 AM on April 25, 2013
posted by yerfatma at 7:32 AM on April 25, 2013
The seven game ban was in foreign climes, the last player to do this in the UK got a yellow card. The reason I think ten is ridiculous is because he only got an eight match ban for racial abuse.
But yeah, he is an arsehole.
posted by biffa at 10:53 AM on April 25, 2013
But yeah, he is an arsehole.
posted by biffa at 10:53 AM on April 25, 2013
The seven game ban was in foreign climes
So could he do it on a rainy night in Stoke?
posted by yerfatma at 3:07 PM on April 25, 2013
So could he do it on a rainy night in Stoke?
posted by yerfatma at 3:07 PM on April 25, 2013
Since it comes a month before the latest incident I'm left wondering if this comment from Liverpool's manager was a bat-signal to Suarez that he should renew his mad chomping.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 9:53 AM on April 26, 2013
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 9:53 AM on April 26, 2013
10 games - all because footy is run by manc fans. 10 and defoe got a yellow card?
also, re: suarez and racism, there was no evidence other than evra said he said it. none, not from assistant refs, ref, players, officials, no-one. The FA said evra's recollectin of events was better than suarez while at the same time acknowledging how hard it would be to have perfect recollection during a fast and long game of football, so they banned suarez. what did evra say to suarez, repeatedly through the game again?
posted by marienbad at 9:18 AM on April 27, 2013
also, re: suarez and racism, there was no evidence other than evra said he said it. none, not from assistant refs, ref, players, officials, no-one. The FA said evra's recollectin of events was better than suarez while at the same time acknowledging how hard it would be to have perfect recollection during a fast and long game of football, so they banned suarez. what did evra say to suarez, repeatedly through the game again?
posted by marienbad at 9:18 AM on April 27, 2013
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posted by BillW at 5:03 AM on April 22, 2013