Fergie Time ends
May 8, 2013 6:23 AM   Subscribe

Sir Alex Ferguson, Britains most successful club football manager, is to retire at the end of the season. Front runners to fill the post are David Moyes, Jose Mourinho and Jurgen Klopp.
posted by marienbad (83 comments total)

 
No worries. With Fergie time, he'll be out by 2016.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:25 AM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


The Guardian has compiled Sir Alex Ferguson's best quotes and is also running a live blog (of course, it's the Guardian).

Some smart arse commented "As a mark of respect, all Premiership matches this coming weekend to feature additional 5 minutes extra time."
posted by quosimosaur at 6:31 AM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


If José Mourinho's name sounds familiar, it could be because he was recently involved with this uplifting FPP.
posted by troika at 6:34 AM on May 8, 2013


Bit of a switchover from the staying-for-the-foreseeable-future stance Fergie had in the most recent programme notes.

I'm slightly dubious about the claim Jose is the replacement though; it's not a very good cultural fit. Jose's a bit of a rolling stone when Man U have done well from managerial stability.
posted by jaduncan at 6:35 AM on May 8, 2013


Yeah I say it will be Moyes. He's done wonders keeping Everton in the mid-table with an almost non-existent transfer budget. My Man Utd supporting colleagues are salivating what he could do with that sweet sweet Glazer money.
posted by PenDevil at 6:37 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm really appreciating how often I'm seeing the "First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires. Somewhere there is a Scouser with a lamp and one wish left." joke on Twitter.
posted by asterix at 6:37 AM on May 8, 2013 [25 favorites]


They might want the stone to roll on through let Giggs get some experience under his belt.

Poor Men in Blazers! If it's one of the two front runners, either Moyes from Everton or Mourinho (who has been hinted at a return to Chelsea), then either Rog or Davo are going to be Sads.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:39 AM on May 8, 2013


Yeah, I think Moyes too. 50 years old and plenty of time left to devote to ManU. If they are looking for SAF II, that would be the pick.
posted by jaduncan at 6:39 AM on May 8, 2013


I thought I'd read earlier that Moyes is pretty much official.

Now we get to find out whether it was Ferguson or United that Howard Webb loved.
posted by inigo2 at 6:39 AM on May 8, 2013


Kelvin MacKenzie is shitting himself.
posted by fullerine at 6:40 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


My Man Utd supporting colleagues are salivating what he could do with that sweet sweet Glazer money.

Continue to send it back to the US to pay off the leveraged acquisition?
posted by jaduncan at 6:43 AM on May 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm kinda hoping for 'arry Redknapp because he's shown an excellent record of saddling teams with ridiculous debt and getting them relegated.

Granted the chances of United ever getting relegated are basically nil but a man can dream right?
posted by vuron at 6:46 AM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Mourinho actively cultivates a public persona that may not necessarily reflect his personality. Exactly how much of his confrontational style is an act is difficult to know. However, if there's one thing that his time in Madrid has taught him, it is that his North Korean diplomacy schtick does not work at a club that considers itself football royalty, so I think we'd see a different Mourinho if he were to take the reins at Man Utd.
posted by quosimosaur at 6:48 AM on May 8, 2013


I don't see Mou working well at United anyway, he tends to favor a really defensive playstyle in general (Real seems to be the exception because they are loaded with offensive players). I'm not sure his typical style would work that well with United's current personnel and probably wouldn't resonate with the fanbase.

Of course seeing the Chelsea bandwagonners groan in agony after saying for most of the season that Roman was bringing back Mou and then be stuck with Rafa for another year would be awesome.
posted by vuron at 6:52 AM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think it will be Moyes as well. While I was watching an Everton game a few months ago, my toddler came by and took one look at the steely-eyed Moyes on screen and said, "Look! A policeman!"

What would happen to Everton without Moyes, though... Who would they get? Martinez?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:54 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Actually, I wonder if it wasn't a little more bloody than it appears behind the scenes.

Ferguson, 1 May 2013 programme notes: "I certainly don’t have any plans at the moment to walk away from what I believe will be something special. This team of champions are not going away — we are here for the long ride. We will get better and, if we apply ourselves in our normal fashion, I see our 20th League title as nothing but the start of another decade of success." Talks in media about going out and buying quality over the summer.

Ed Woodward (incoming Glazer chairman), 2 May 2013: "There's incredible depth. We could put two first teams out with 11 internationals in each. We have a young squad, each now a year older. We're very comfortable with the make-up of team and squad."

8 May: Ferguson retires.
posted by jaduncan at 6:54 AM on May 8, 2013


ooh - if the Glazers forced him out that would be amaazzing. I can see the flaming effigies in my mind.
posted by JPD at 6:59 AM on May 8, 2013


Klopp (and his new hair) are going to Bayern München. (Though if he spoke English he'd be brilliant. The guy is a brilliant yammerer.)
posted by From Bklyn at 7:01 AM on May 8, 2013


Prior to Alex Ferguson, Manu were managed by the legendary/infamous "Big" Ron Atkinkinson. And, funny that there are manu fans alive who have only ever known Sir Alex as manu manager.

I would like to see Moysey get a go, as he deserves it, but as a LFC fan, maybe 'arry Redknap would be better.
posted by marienbad at 7:03 AM on May 8, 2013


From Bklyn: Worse hair transplant...Rooney or Klopp?
posted by kuanes at 7:03 AM on May 8, 2013


Why would Klopp go to Bayern? Pep already is going to coach there next year.

Now plenty of Dortmund players will be joining Buyern but that's just the Bundesliga returning to business as usual.
posted by vuron at 7:03 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Maybe more of a gentle guiding by the arm than a push as Moyes contract is up after this season and Mourinho is packing his bags at Madrid and they probably wanted to sign either before Roman or Sheikh Manour whipped out the cheque book and took him off the market till after Fergie really wanted to retire.

I'm sure he'll still have some say over things like new signings and transfers from his position on the board.
posted by PenDevil at 7:05 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pep already is going to coach there next year.

Oh crap, that's right! I was thinking about his (maybe) going to Real.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:08 AM on May 8, 2013


Brian Phillips: Everyone's talking Moyes and Mourinho, but people forget that Arsène Wenger has a twin brother named Manchèstreunite Wenger.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:09 AM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Maybe more of a gentle guiding by the arm than a push as Moyes contract is up after this season and Mourinho is packing his bags at Madrid and they probably wanted to sign either before Roman or Sheikh Manour whipped out the cheque book and took him off the market till after Fergie really wanted to retire.

This. It is a truism that many fans don't quite seem to get at a gut level -- firing someone is only half of the change.
posted by Etrigan at 7:10 AM on May 8, 2013


If Man U steal Wenger from Arsenal that really would be the last straw. I merely dislike Man U now but that would give rise to absolute loathing
posted by vuron at 7:13 AM on May 8, 2013


I really enjoyed this: Fergie's Memorable Quotes

highlights include:

On AC Milan striker Filippo Inzaghi:
"That lad must have been born offside."

On seeing Ryan Giggs as a schoolboy:
"I remember the first time I saw him. He was 13 and just floated over the ground like a cocker spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper in the wind."
posted by beisny at 7:15 AM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's kind of heresy to even think this but I would trade Wenger for Klopp.
posted by quosimosaur at 7:15 AM on May 8, 2013


dont worry guys theres enough rafa to go around
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:21 AM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Everton fan here. My forehead hurts from pounding it against the desk.

I daren't hope for Moyes not to go (nor blame him for taking the opportunity), but that is just going to suck to see him there.
posted by Celsius1414 at 7:26 AM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Maybe Mansour will fire Mancini and Mancini to United. Now that would be funny.
posted by vuron at 7:26 AM on May 8, 2013


I would personally ensure that all the Glaser's debt would be wiped away if, upon unveiling the new United manager, Mario Balotelli steps up to the podium, red scarf held high.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:29 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


All hail the greatest manager of our generation - Sir Alexander Chapman 'Alex' Ferguson, CBE, NPD...
posted by Monkeymoo at 7:30 AM on May 8, 2013


Of course when I saw this was actually happening and not the speculation of distraught Man Utd fans, my heart sank and stomach started twisting in knots. Everton without Moyes is just.... wow... going to be a disaster.

I sort of would love to see Rafa go there, but mostly for the LULZ.
posted by kendrak at 7:37 AM on May 8, 2013


Whoever takes over, there's of course a high risk that Man U. will wander the wilderness for a couple of years post-Fergie and even if they can keep up their excellent record, the next manager will always be compared unfavourable to him.

Mourinho is about the only manager of somewhat equal stature to Ferguson and who might be available to take on the role. Certainly has the ego for it.

Moyes on the other hand, for all what he has done at Everton and the respect Fergie himself seems to have for him, may just not have the gravitas to replace SAF; everybody was always shit cared of Fergie, but will they be of Moyes?
posted by MartinWisse at 7:47 AM on May 8, 2013


That's Bob Paisley's record secure then :P
posted by MrMerlot at 7:50 AM on May 8, 2013


Can you imagine Everton with no Moyes and no Felliani (who seems destined to leave in the summer).

Midtable obscurity at best.
posted by vuron at 7:51 AM on May 8, 2013


Paddy Power currently have Moyes 1-10 on, Mourinho 5-1, and Klopp 10-1, so it looks a lot like a done deal.

I have to say I pity the manager who goes straight after Fergie. Imagine them not winning anything in the first season.
posted by DanCall at 7:54 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


And, funny that there are manu fans alive who have only ever known Sir Alex as manu manager.

There are Man United players alive who have only ever known Alex Ferguson as United manager.
posted by dng at 7:54 AM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


My local team is Aston Villa, we dream of mid-table obscurity. I love that twitter joke.
posted by arcticseal at 7:58 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


We might actually end the season in mid-table obscurity, which is not what I would've said even a month ago.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:07 AM on May 8, 2013


I'm really appreciating how often I'm seeing the "First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires. Somewhere there is a Scouser with a lamp and one wish left."

my mate's instant response:
If The Sun goes bust next week we'll know what it was!
posted by runincircles at 8:28 AM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Get ready for Tony Pulis Evertonians!!!! (I kid!!!)
posted by josher71 at 8:34 AM on May 8, 2013


I really don't think that the Glazers forced or nudged Fergie out. He's always had a good relationship with them, they don't interfere with the team, and he's achieved great things while they've been there (no-one else would have got United close to the title last season, or won it so easily this season; only the greatest club side of all time stopped him from winning more CL titles). More likely that his health problems (that would have ruled him out of the start of next season) have become serious enough that he wants to stop.

If United wanted Moyes, there's no need to get rid of Fergie; they're friends - Fergie could have had a quiet word with him to tell him to wait a few years. And the timing suggests it won't be Mourinho: United due to make an announcement soon, which surely doesn't give Mourinho time to negotiate an exit from his contract.

My Man Utd supporting colleagues are salivating what he [Moyes] could do with that sweet sweet Glazer money.

This surprises me - Moyes is completely unproven at a big club. He might be brilliant, but equally he might have reached his level and be unable to handle the pressure of being required to compete for the title, of having to deal with the egos of the best players in the world, of having to follow the most successful British manager ever. I'd really want it to be Jose - he's the only one with a big enough ego to think he could follow Fergie.
posted by Infinite Jest at 8:51 AM on May 8, 2013


I just want to see his replacement be the best candidate to provide a heady mélange of maximum hilarity, schadenfreude, and genuine footballing astonishment. Which for my money means that the next manager must be a triangulation of Jose Mourinho, Harry Redknapp, and Mario Balotelli. GO GO GADGET CHARLTON
posted by the painkiller at 8:56 AM on May 8, 2013


I know it's a bit unorthodox, but the Glazers have history with him, and he is very available right now: Jon "Chucky" Gruden.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:04 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


having to deal with the egos of the best players in the world

Luckily for Moyes, this hasn't been a problem at ManU since Ronaldo left.
posted by asterix at 9:05 AM on May 8, 2013


Klopp (and his new hair) are going to Bayern München. (Though if he spoke English he'd be brilliant.

Klopp speaks English just fine. (Skip to about the 1-minute mark for the best part of that interview.)
posted by asterix at 9:09 AM on May 8, 2013


If Man U steal Wenger from Arsenal that really would be the last straw.

Why would they?
posted by biffa at 9:09 AM on May 8, 2013


I thought Mourinho was heading back to Chelsea. That's what's the Guardian's been saying for weeks now.
posted by Flashman at 9:10 AM on May 8, 2013


I think most managers are one, maybe two-trick ponies, and they don't stay in any one post for too long because eventually their tricks get found out. Ferguson was able to last as long as he has because he has not been afraid to try new tricks. They didn't always work out, and he didn't always go as far as perhaps he should have but for the most part he was able to make it work (13 titles in 26 years, an amazing achievement). The other long-serving manager in the Premiership, Arsene Wenger, is increasingly looking like a caricature of himself because of his unwillingness to try new things, to the obvious detriment of the team and club.

I think on the Guardian someone made a comment that if he had retired 10 years ago Martin O'Neill would have been the odds on favourite to replace him, and look what O'Neill has done since. At the time O'Neill was an extremely well regarded manager, but his tricks have been found out and it would be a brave chairman to give him a job now.

The thing with Moyes is that in his tenure of Everton he has won exactly 0 trophies. While no one expects him to win the league, at least one cup win in that time should have been achievable. Before coming to United, Fergie had won the title with Aberdeen (last non-Old firm team to do so) and a Cup Winners Cup. He was already a legend before he came to United. People talk about their shoe-string budget but Everton under Moyes have punched pretty close to their weight. Moyes is a good manager but United deserve a great one.

A proven manager like Mourinho would be my hope. Yes they would not last for 10 years, let alone 26, but how many managers ever have?

What I am wondering is where Jupp Heynckes is in all of this. Makes Bayern into something fierce, what is it, 3 Champions League finals in 4 years, and is getting replaced by Guardiola. Yes he is old, but I could definitely see him doing the job for the next little while at United.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 9:21 AM on May 8, 2013


Moyes on the other hand, for all what he has done at Everton and the respect Fergie himself seems to have for him, may just not have the gravitas to replace SAF; everybody was always shit cared of Fergie, but will they be of Moyes?

People are scared shit of Moyes. He has crazy eyes, and when he has that intense stare... ooh I am getting shivers.

This surprises me - Moyes is completely unproven at a big club. He might be brilliant, but equally he might have reached his level and be unable to handle the pressure of being required to compete for the title, of having to deal with the egos of the best players in the world, of having to follow the most successful British manager ever. I'd really want it to be Jose - he's the only one with a big enough ego to think he could follow Fergie.

OK, so Everton aren't a big club... but I'm sorry, Moyes isn't completely untested. I think he's demonstrated he can handle pressure. The egos, that's a different matter, but United haven't really been shelling out of the egos for a while (save for Rooney). Moyes is immensely respected by his colleagues for good reason. The fact he hasn't been at a Top Four club should be seen as a good thing. You don't want the money/drama merry-go-round.

Get ready for Tony Pulis Evertonians!!!! (I kid!!!)

Ouch. I am terrified that might happen. Maybe they can get O'Neil?
posted by kendrak at 9:22 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


RDM - he could fund Everton for two years on a small portion of his Chelsea severance package.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:23 AM on May 8, 2013


Maybe they can get O'Neil?

Nah, you've gotta replace one Scot with another. Which means clearly the right man for the job is... Alex McLeish.
posted by asterix at 9:27 AM on May 8, 2013


If McLeish takes over Everton, I'll have the consolation of them probably playing Sheffield Wednesday in the Championship in 2014/2015. Up the Owls!
posted by kendrak at 9:30 AM on May 8, 2013


This video of Guardian football writers analyzing Fergie's retirement is it worth it for Barry Glendenning's, "Was I surprised that a 71 year old man retired from his job? No." Keep it real Baz.
posted by kendrak at 9:44 AM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can you imagine Everton with no Moyes and no Felliani

As an Everton fan, have we considered Phil Brown? It's just that I'm feeling a little down.
posted by yerfatma at 10:09 AM on May 8, 2013


Pulis or McLeish to Everton? Oh god yes please.

The Times reports it is a done deal for Moyes. (No Login)
posted by marienbad at 10:54 AM on May 8, 2013


It would be really funny if Rafa Benitez went to Everton as Moyes' replacement.

I've heard mention of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (now at Molde) being a possible candidate. Pep Guardiola would have been in the mix for sure if he hadn't already agreed the Bayern move.
posted by WalterMitty at 11:02 AM on May 8, 2013


If Rafa went to Everton, I wouldn't be upset. Toffee Twitter has speculated Laudrup, Van Basten, Martinez, and *shudder* Lennon. I have also seen McCarthy as a joke. Oh how I'd like that for a hot minute.

Moyes going is a foregone conclusion. He's been seen in London in a suit, not a cardigan. Everybody's waiting for the official announcement. Oh well. The worst thing would be if he takes Fellaini and Baines with him to United.
posted by kendrak at 11:23 AM on May 8, 2013


As the only Stoke supporter on Metafilter, I'll just say that I'm almost positive that this is Pulis' last season. I think he'll be kicked upstairs in the organization but a new day to day manager will be brought in. For some reason a number of people think it will be Rafa but this seems like a totally ludicrous notion.
posted by josher71 at 11:54 AM on May 8, 2013


At Stoke getting "kicked" upstairs is taken a bit more literally than the average club. He'll be lucky to survive the process.
posted by haveanicesummer at 12:55 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also related - The Glasgow School of football management was a good special 5 Live aired a couple of years back. 5 Live just re-aired Moyes' interview from that, which was a nice refresher. Looks like it's not on the iplayer anymore, but here's an overview. (The legacy of Jock Stein would be a great FPP some day.) It's amazing how it all basically goes back to him.
posted by kendrak at 12:56 PM on May 8, 2013


At Stoke getting "kicked" upstairs is taken a bit more literally than the average club. He'll be lucky to survive the proce

Without knowing who you support so I can make jokes at your team's expense, this isn't fair. I mean, in the PL there's the biting, the racism, the philandering, sometimes the racism mixed with the philandering, etc...
posted by josher71 at 1:08 PM on May 8, 2013


As mentioned above, Ferguson's Aberdeen side won the Cup Winners Cup against Real Madrid in extra time on May 11th 1983. This was Aberdeen's 58th competitive fixture of the season, some of the players had also represented Scotland in the 1982 World Cup and in their 4 European qualifying games throughout the year.

Their 59th game was the last league game on May 14th. Despite winning 5-0 they finished third in the league, equal on points with Celtic but with an inferier goal difference, one point behind Dundee United.

In their 60th club game, the Scottish Cup final on May 21st they ground out an extra time 1-0 win over Rangers. Sir Alex's reaction was to lambast his players on national television for not winning with more style. In Richard Gordon's fantastic book about Aberdeen's 1982-83 campaign, Glory in Gothenburg, midfielder Neale Cooper relates how, while the team was getting the hair dryer treatment in the dressing room, he had to whisper to striker John Hewitt to confirm that they had actually won the game.

His standards were so high, Ferguson remained angry about the performance on the bus to the team hotel in St. Andrews, "sitting at the front with a face like thunder", before apologizing after the players came down for dinner.

While his longevity at Manchester United makes it unlikely anyone will ever replicate his feats there, the changes in the game through Bosman and TV money guarantee no-one will ever again take a provincial club to the peaks he reached with Aberdeen.
posted by IanMorr at 1:25 PM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


IanMorr: While his longevity at Manchester United makes it unlikely anyone will ever replicate his feats there, the changes in the game through Bosman and TV money guarantee no-one will ever again take a provincial club to the peaks he reached with Aberdeen.

Yeah, I think you're probably right. I always thought that Ferguson, along with Brian Clough (when sober ...ish) were the two great home-grown managers of the past four decades, and both of them achieved, with decidedly small budgets, relatively speaking, greatness with clubs who were regarded as perennial also-rans/outsiders/underachievers – Clough with both Derby and Notts Forest, and Ferguson with Aberdeen.

Clough was a better player than Fergie, but I think in the end, Ferguson was the better manager – perhaps if only because he managed to keep whatever personal troubles he had/has in check enough to effectively rule over his team, and not let them cloud his judgement in the way that Clough did. And both Ferguson and Clough are/were committed socialists, managers who could be outspoken, arrogant wankers at times, but whose guiding impetus always seemed to have been one forged by the class politics of their youth and their backgrounds; I can't think of any players currently looking towards post-retirement management careers who have that same combination of hard-nosed determination, political conviction and the necessary managerial skill to do what Ferguson does and Clough did. And I can't imagine them being allowed to run their mouth in the way that Ferguson does and Clough did – because they already had the clout and the authority to do so and not be punished for it – without being summarily sacked.

Much like bands who now get dropped by record labels after their first album stiffs, managers don't have the leeway they once had to fail gracefully before succeeding in commercial terms; they're out the door instantly, because shareholders and/or the board want instant gratification, at the expense of long term success and stability. Look at the current situation with Premier League managers – less than half of them have been in the job for more than a year. Ferguson's retirement, in that respect, really is the end of a particular era of English football, because nobody, now, is ever going to be allowed the latitude that Ferguson (or Wenger, for that matter) has been given over the last 26 years.
posted by Len at 2:16 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


At Stoke getting "kicked" upstairs is taken a bit more literally than the average club. He'll be lucky to survive the process.

Well, more accurately, he'll be picked up, rubbed down with someone's jersey front, then hurled upstairs.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:18 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Guardian: "Phil Neville interested in Everton job after David Moyes era"
The Goodison Park club have several candidates in mind to replace Moyes, including Neil Lennon, Roberto Martínez and Michael Laudrup, having known all year that the Scot wanted to wait until his contract expired at the end of the season before making a decision on his future.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:34 PM on May 8, 2013


.  .      
      .             .   .
         .     .            .    .   .     .
            .                  .        .     .    .   .
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:37 PM on May 8, 2013


Does this mean we can buy back RvP now?*
*So we can punch him in the face.
posted by Dr. Zira at 5:28 PM on May 8, 2013


A different side of the man. Alex Ferguson discusses his political views with Alistair Campbell.
posted by jaduncan at 5:58 PM on May 8, 2013


That's related to George Osborne's somewhat amusing tweet: "Sir Alex - amazing manager & a constituent. Have memories of spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to canvass his house as a young candidate"

Peter Allen kept bringing it up on 5 Live Drive.
posted by kendrak at 6:34 PM on May 8, 2013


"Sir Alex - amazing manager & a constituent. Have memories of spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to canvass his house as a young candidate"

Fergie's man assessment skills are undiminished, I see.
posted by jaduncan at 7:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


kendrak: That's related to George Osborne's somewhat amusing tweet: "Sir Alex - amazing manager & a constituent. Have memories of spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to canvass his house as a young candidate"

Alex & George, a one act play:

[Scene: June 2001. The front doorstep of Sir Alex Ferguson's house. George Osborne, Tory manifesto pamphlets in hand, rings the doorbell. He twitches, a little nervously, despite the fact that this looks like a house of a natural Tory voter.]

GEORGE [happy, as the door opens]: Hullo! My name's George Osborne, and I'm the Conservative candidate for Tatton! Are you planning on voting in the upcoming election?

ALEX [circumspect]: Voting? Aye, I suppose.

GEORGE [with forced jollity]: And do you know who you're going to be voting for?

ALEX: Aye.

GEORGE [now wary]: And do you know who that would be for?

ALEX: Course I do. I mean, we're a few months before 9/11, and a couple of years before the Iraq war, here, so Tony Blair isn't quite the murderous shitstain he will be in 2003, and Gordon Brown hasn't spent the last year praising light touch regulation just before we all watched the economy fall to bits before our very fucking eyes. So Labour, as you probably figured.

GEORGE: And you don't think that, despite these potential problems in the future which would have been no different under the Conservatives, and indeed may have been even worse, that the Conservatives might have something to offer you?

ALEX [becoming increasingly red throughout this]: Listen, son. You Tories were born offside, youse shift the line to make sure you're in front of it. And if I wanted to support a bunch of halfwit public school nyaffs with more silver spoons than A-Levels, I'd be managing a fucking rugby team. I've seen what you have to offer; I've seen the shuttered shipyards and the closed coal mines and the run-down steelworks; I've seen my father and my uncles and cousins come home after a shift of riveting hulls, shattered and broken men, and I've seen the fucking mess of the Poll Tax. I've seen footballers that I've managed claw their way out of grim, horrible poverty, the first people in their families for two or more generations to earn more than subsistence fucking wages. I've seen terraces of people – both in the housing sense, and the football ground sense – whose primary bond was with each other, defiant against those who would rip them apart, bonded by both a shared, collective belief in helping each other, and a sense that whatever they're suffering, suffering together makes it easier. And you wouldn't know about that, because you've never suffered in your entire fucking life.

GEORGE: Well, um, erm ... I'm suffering now. I can tell you that much.

ALEX: You want suffering? I'll gie you sufferin'. HAVE THIS FUCKIN' BOOT IN YER COUPON! [Throws metal-studded boot squarely at Osborne's forehead.]

[THE END]
posted by Len at 7:54 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Everton confirm Moyes is leaving at the end of the season.

Meanwhile this image was supposedly posted to Man Utd FB page before being yanked.
posted by PenDevil at 6:52 AM on May 9, 2013


The ritual has been completed. Moyes has anointed himself with oils red and terrible. He approached dread Moloch who lays dreaming beneath Old Trafford with gifts of wine and myrrh. The chorus has howled his name, howled his name, howled his name.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:07 AM on May 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


From the Sir Bobby Charlton via the Guardian's live blog: "In David Moyes, we have someone who understands the things that make this such a special club."

I have to say... as much as this all doesn't surprise me (what with Moyes being tipped to replace Fergie since last year), the all the different ways anti-Mourinho things have been couched is sort of hilarious. They can't come out and say, "No way, Jose!" so they need to talk about youth development, attacking football, honour, and tradition.

As for whoever Kenwrong will get for Everton... please not Mark Hughes.
posted by kendrak at 8:37 AM on May 9, 2013


"In David Moyes, we have another dour Scotsman who scares people. That should do it, right?"
posted by yerfatma at 8:40 AM on May 9, 2013


BBC - Moyes Appointed Utd Manager
posted by marienbad at 8:45 AM on May 9, 2013


As for whoever Kenwrong will get for Everton... please not Mark Hughes.
They still have that one wish left...
posted by fullerine at 5:12 PM on May 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Without knowing who you support so I can make jokes at your team's expense, this isn't fair. I mean, in the PL there's the biting, the racism, the philandering, sometimes the racism mixed with the philandering, etc...
posted by josher71


Arsenal, so whatever we did wrong, I didn't see it.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:03 PM on May 11, 2013


Arsenal and Stoke have a troubled history due to the the Ramsey/Shawcross incident. I think that it is over and shouldn't be brought up again. It was regrettable and terrible. I wish both sides would drop it.

That being said, I dislike Wenger and hope Spurs go to the Champions League in place of Arsenal.

I think someone on MeFi once said that Pulis and Wenger were like the Joker and Batman. Two sides of the same coin. It rings true.
posted by josher71 at 9:48 PM on May 11, 2013


This thread needs more food fight.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:55 PM on May 11, 2013


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