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Riker sits down
May 8, 2013 12:16 PM   Subscribe

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

The question to me isn't why the leg, but why they had camera set-ups where he's constantly walking in to speak to an already seated person.
posted by Cool Papa Bell (201 comments total) 107 users marked this as a favorite

 
The size of the Captain's chair is all that stands between him and promotion.

(yes, i know he eventually made captain. shutup)
posted by sourwookie at 12:20 PM on May 8, 2013 [23 favorites]


How did I not notice that before??? He even does it when he gets up! He does it so...smoothly!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 12:21 PM on May 8, 2013 [20 favorites]


Is there a chair tall enough to stymie Riker?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [12 favorites]


He thinks all chairs are stools.
posted by AtDuskGreg at 12:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


Everyone's gotta have a trademark. President Bartlet put his coat on over his head. Riker drags his junk over the tops of chairs where people often put their heads.
posted by NedKoppel at 12:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [85 favorites]


Ok but that's probably because the back of the chair is so low.
...
Nope, he does it with the high backs too.

Son of Riker!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm amazed he can clear the chair with those giant brass balls of his.
posted by GuyZero at 12:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


He's just performing a routine class-2 genitalia scan of the upholstery.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [72 favorites]


He thinks all chairs are stools.

Better that than the alternative.
posted by Riki tiki at 12:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [21 favorites]


I feel a slow hand clap coming on...
posted by Ber at 12:25 PM on May 8, 2013


Whose chair is that? Who put that goddamn chair here? It's not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem, that's what I say. --Riker
posted by psylosyren at 12:25 PM on May 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


HA.

Though I feel like the people making the video ruined the punchline by starting (instead of ending) with the one where he stands up from the chair in the same way.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:25 PM on May 8, 2013 [22 favorites]


To boldy sit in a way no man has sat before.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Being tall enough to execute this on many chairs, I am feeling inspired, because I have always found the act of sitting down and standing up from chairs at tables to be mildly cumbersome.
posted by invitapriore at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


@Riki tiki I see what you did there. (Do we still say that?)
posted by NedKoppel at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I have been watching this all morning and keep not coming up with any good jokes about it and it's making me feel a profound sort of self-doubt.
posted by cortex at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [70 favorites]


Is he somehow "marking" the chairs? Leaving his musk behind to reiterate his position among his subordinates?
posted by sourwookie at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [9 favorites]


How did I not notice that before??? He even does it when he gets up! He does it so...smoothly!

Seriously, I been watching Star Trek for years, and am fucking STUNNED that I never saw this before. This is some "Did You Notice The Gorilla Walking Through The Background" shit.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:27 PM on May 8, 2013 [91 favorites]


Why do you think he's called "Numbah One?"
posted by NedKoppel at 12:27 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why would I want to un-see it? And this leaves out his strange seated posture, esp. on the bridge during moments of crisis: back rigid and leaning forward, legs spread out like he's riding the subway, but with elbows on his knees. Just as odd and just as much a signature of the character.
posted by RogerB at 12:27 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Seriously. It's like the arrow in the FedEx logo.
posted by NedKoppel at 12:28 PM on May 8, 2013 [23 favorites]


I have been watching this all morning and keep not coming up with any good jokes about it and it's making me feel a profound sort of self-doubt.

There, there. Sometimes one is too gifted to be bothered with such low-hanging fruit.
posted by sourwookie at 12:28 PM on May 8, 2013 [36 favorites]


Though on some level I can't shake this feeling that he's not doing it right. Like that time in high school when I noticed that my friend had put her graphing calculator backwards in its holster.
posted by invitapriore at 12:28 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


The only reason I can think is that it's faster than actually pulling out the chair and sitting down, so the scene can progress more quickly?
posted by Lucinda at 12:29 PM on May 8, 2013


I think it's because Riker was a cocky cock.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 12:30 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Well, clearly he'd been told that his character was there to add cowboy swagger to the show. How better than mounting chairs as if they were horses?
posted by RogerB at 12:30 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


Now this is a SLYT I can get behind.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


(Do we still say that?)

"I see what you did there", yes.

"@username", no. I recommend Mefiquote for responding to a particular comment, or just to address them by name. :)¹

¹ we also don't do emoticons.
posted by Riki tiki at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


If I ever become a showrunner for any iteration of Star Trek, I hereby promise that at least one scene will be set in a restaurant in Alaska, and EVERYONE in the scene will be sitting down in exactly this way, from children to the elderly to visiting Breen tourists.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2013 [64 favorites]


Actually now that I think about this some more (why am I thinking about this some more) I think this move is not merely enabled by his height but is in fact a consequence of it. It sucks to try to shoehorn your knees between the edge of the seat and the edge of the table, dude's just pragmatic.
posted by invitapriore at 12:31 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


How better than mounting chairs as if they were horses?

I keep parsing and parsing this sentence, yet I am still uneasy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:32 PM on May 8, 2013 [27 favorites]


The only reason I can think is that it's faster than actually pulling out the chair and sitting down, so the scene can progress more quickly?

This is a total guess but I think this has more to do with the way Riker's uniform gets fucked up when he bends over and sits in a chair and when he stands up. A known problem in TNG. Notice how straight he stands when executing this move.
posted by phaedon at 12:33 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


He's a tall man with long legs. It's a short cut.
posted by fuzzywuzzysock at 12:33 PM on May 8, 2013


The fact that apparently nobody has noticed this until right now is really a testament to how smooth and natural Jonathan Frakes makes it look, as opposed to Picard's famous shirt-tugging sit.
posted by theodolite at 12:34 PM on May 8, 2013 [31 favorites]


2 or footnotes 3
3 not even "humourous" ones 4
4 or recursive ones... 3

posted by sodium lights the horizon at 12:35 PM on May 8, 2013 [15 favorites]


I seem to recall that Frakes had some fairly serious back issues, which is why he sometimes seemed to tip a bit as he walked (and there's some video out there where he tips... and just keeps tipping and does a barrel roll, or the human equivalent). Not sure that explains this, though.
posted by selfnoise at 12:37 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


> I think this move is not merely enabled by his height but is in fact a consequence of it.

Yeah, he is a tall guy. The "mount up" maneuver goes along with with Riker's character, but I think Jonathan Frakes was probably also just annoyed by the tiny chairs.

Also, a little video editing could probably produce a decent video of Riker doing the Gagnam Style dance.
posted by Avelwood at 12:38 PM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


I thought that Riker's backstory included something about a holodeck incident which left him unable to close his legs.
posted by orme at 12:38 PM on May 8, 2013 [13 favorites]


1) Those chairs are kinda dinky
2) He's supposed to be the cowboy - he's not sitting down, he's saddling up.
3) The one time he pulled out the chair to sit in it, it did $30,000 worth of damage to the set, and he ripped his pants.
4) Gotta air 'em out from time to time.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I hereby promise that at least one scene will be set in a restaurant in Alaska

Riker's not actually from Alaska, that was all just a misunderstanding.
posted by cortex at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Riki tiki: "@username", no. I recommend Mefiquote for responding to a particular comment, or just to address them by name. :)"

How come I'm just finding out about Mefiquote now?

I say, it comes in darn handy, like just now.
posted by arkham_inmate_0801 at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Jonathan Frakes was the original choice to play King Robert Baratheon, but apparently he injured himself badly on the Iron Throne during shooting.
posted by brain_drain at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [69 favorites]


In several years JJ Abrams will make yet another Star Trek movie but modeled on TNG crew. Fans will be outraged when Riker (James Franco) sits in chairs like a human being.
posted by munchingzombie at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


This is how 20-something guys sit down at every agency I've ever worked in.
posted by sweetkid at 12:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


He's just space sitting. In space. That's how we will all do it in the future.
posted by bibliowench at 12:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


Hilarious! Now someone, please make a supercut of Riker teabagging the command console in order to talk to the navigation or science officer.
posted by ErikaB at 12:41 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is my most favorite metafilter post of the year. I am going to try it myself forthwith, but first I am going to put on a jockstrap.
posted by bukvich at 12:45 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also this goes a lot less smoothly with chairs that have arms, by the way.
posted by invitapriore at 12:46 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I used to work with a guy we called "Shifty" because he had a sort of patented grab-balls-hitch-leg-right-while-turning-corner move that, as with this, once you saw, you could never unsee.

Nicest guy in the world. But apparently raised by wolves. Wolves in ill-fitting underpants.
posted by emjaybee at 12:52 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


I have been watching this all morning and keep not coming up with any good jokes about it and it's making me feel a profound sort of self-doubt.

But I think you just did. Existential angst produced by watching Riker sit down over and over is kind of amazing.
posted by neuromodulator at 12:53 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm 6'5" and it never occurred to me to sit on a chair like this. Well maybe I've done it once or twice in some bizarre circumstance where getting to the chair a polite way would have been awkward. But really, throw the leg over the back?

I wonder if Jonathan Frakes does this or it's a thing he made up for the character?
posted by Nelson at 12:53 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


i just tried this at my desk and nearly roundhouse kicked the printer
posted by Greg Nog at 12:54 PM on May 8, 2013 [83 favorites]


I think I'll try it at my next job interview. I feel like it would help, somehow. Assuming I don't nog it and kick my interviewer in the face.
posted by neuromodulator at 12:58 PM on May 8, 2013 [27 favorites]


So, where are the geniuses who edited the farting preacher videos when you need them?
posted by NedKoppel at 1:00 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I notice this every time I watch those episodes. Nobody sits like that, Riker.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:06 PM on May 8, 2013


Eh, I noticed this when the series first aired. All part of Riker's swagger. The cock-eyed glances, the guttural self-assured utterances, swingin' legs over chairs... geh. Drove me nuts, his character did. Only grew on me once I'd seen Frakes talking about Trek elsewhere.

oh dear. I said "nuts" and didn't do it on purpose. *headdesk*
posted by fraula at 1:07 PM on May 8, 2013


I was gonna say, maybe he's got a bad knee or something, but then, BAM! He does it from both sides! Because that's just fucking how he plays it.

He does it BECAUSE HE CAN.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:08 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Well, clearly he'd been told that his character was there to add cowboy swagger to the show. How better than mounting chairs as if they were horses?

I like to think of the chair as a saddle, and Riker mounts the room (or ENTIRE STARSHIP) like a horse.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:11 PM on May 8, 2013 [9 favorites]


oh dear. I said "nuts" and didn't do it on purpose.

That's ok. We keep you around for the cowboy swagger.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:13 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Looks to me like he does it because he's tall and it's easier to swing his leg over than squeeze his long legs underneath the table. It's also important to note that all of these chairs look like they are bolted down and CAN'T slide out.
posted by dogwalker at 1:13 PM on May 8, 2013


Nobody on that ship moves his or her body in the ways one would expect. Worf and Riker work in positions constantly that look ridiculous.
posted by Glambie at 1:15 PM on May 8, 2013


oh dear. I said "nuts" and didn't do it on purpose. *headdesk*

ITYM *nutschair*
posted by cortex at 1:18 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


It is the Bartlett Jacket Flip of TNG.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:18 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


...as opposed to Picard's famous shirt-tugging sit.

That's called the Picard Maneuver.
posted by General Tonic at 1:19 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Honestly I'm impressed that the sentient beard controlling and imitating William Riker managed to do such a good impression of humanity for so long that we're noticing this as its major slip-up.

Obviously Picard knew, but the beard was a much better officer and why look a gift horse in the... beard.
posted by emmtee at 1:19 PM on May 8, 2013 [12 favorites]


He thinks all chairs are stools.

... and the chairs on TNG aren't much bigger than stools.

The fact that apparently nobody has noticed this until right now

I've noticed it before. I figured most people did.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:21 PM on May 8, 2013


I want to see a Riker backwards chair "Wesley, let's talk for a second about GANGS" guidance councilor version of this.
posted by jason_steakums at 1:21 PM on May 8, 2013 [26 favorites]


Greg Nog for New Berman
posted by junco at 1:21 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Eh, I noticed this when the series first aired. All part of Riker's swagger

Yeah, I noticed it and certainly for that reason at the time. Because as embarrassing as it seems sometimes now, Riker = TEH HOTT and also an idealized man. And as an insecure gay pre-teen/teen at the time, I'm probably just lucky that I didn't pick up this particular habit as well.

Greg Nog: "If I ever become a showrunner for any iteration of Star Trek, I hereby promise that at least one scene will be set in a restaurant in Alaska, and EVERYONE in the scene will be sitting down in exactly this way, from children to the elderly to visiting Breen tourists."

I would like to fund your Kickstarter.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [16 favorites]


There are a couple instances in that video where he seems to have a bit of a smirk on his face as he does it, as if daring his co-stars to laugh at his little leg swing gambit. I suspect once he did it a few times it became A Thing and he was bound and determined to keep doing it.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Nah, this can't just be an actor's choice. These scenes are blocked, as in, planned in advance. His chair-stepping must have some sort of purpose for the scene.
posted by NedKoppel at 1:29 PM on May 8, 2013


I'd bet many of those are bolted down...

and

if I lived in a land with chairs of that stature I'd do the same friggen thing.
posted by edgeways at 1:31 PM on May 8, 2013


It is the Bartlett Jacket Flip of TNG.

What I love most about that is that that is just apparently how Martin Sheen puts on clothes. You can see him do it with a jean-jacket in Badlands, and it's just as awesome.
posted by gkhan at 1:32 PM on May 8, 2013


Nah, this can't just be an actor's choice. These scenes are blocked, as in, planned in advance. His chair-stepping must have some sort of purpose for the scene.

If it happened once, I'd buy that. Ten times, even over the course of several seasons, tells me that he did it once as a joke because the chairs are fucking tiny to him, and everyone thought it was so awesome that he kept doing it. I don't see that many different directors telling him (and clearly only him -- Wil Wheaton sits down normally in at least one of those scenes) to do it a subtly weird way that many times.

Now I have this mental image of Jonathan Frakes flipping idly through YouTube videos, then jumping up and yelling, "FINALLY! SOMEONE NOTICED!"
posted by Etrigan at 1:33 PM on May 8, 2013 [35 favorites]


This chair is my sun and stars. It is known.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 1:35 PM on May 8, 2013 [60 favorites]


It is the Bartlett Jacket Flip of TNG.

What I love most about that is that that is just apparently how Martin Sheen puts on clothes. You can see him do it with a jean-jacket in Badlands, and it's just as awesome.


Apparently my purpose in this thread is to post about people's injuries, but Sheen has Erb's palsy and I think this is a compensating maneuver of some kind.
posted by selfnoise at 1:36 PM on May 8, 2013


Whereas the Picard smoothing thing is because Patrick Stewart is actually a human gun that must be cocked frequently.
posted by selfnoise at 1:37 PM on May 8, 2013 [20 favorites]


Amazed I never noticed before. What I wonder is: is this just a Riker thing, or a Jonathan Frakes thing that became a Riker thing.
posted by MrGuilt at 1:39 PM on May 8, 2013


The Riker Who Mounts the World: This chair is my sun and stars. It is known.

I was really hoping that that account had been created several years ago.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


Now I have this mental image of Jonathan Frakes flipping idly through YouTube videos, then jumping up and yelling, "FINALLY! SOMEONE NOTICED!"

Then, of course, he straddles the chair and sits down.
posted by NedKoppel at 1:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


There, there. Sometimes one is too gifted to be bothered with such low-hanging fruit.
posted by sourwookie at 12:28 PM on May 8 [3 favorites +] [!]


I think low-hanging fruit is one possibility we can rule out here.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:43 PM on May 8, 2013 [22 favorites]


I just tried it with my desk chair and backed into the couch I forgot was two feet behind me and whacked the hell out of my ankle
posted by little cow make small moo at 1:43 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


In the year 2525, we shall all straddleseat. So say we all.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:43 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


This may be indicative of some sort of subconscious insecurity or bias on my part, but I think he does it because, like all tall people, he's an asshole. And because he's a tall asshole, it's not enough for people to just see him and think, 'Wow, he's tall!' he needs to reinforce it by nonchalantly swinging his freakishly long legs around and above everything in the room. Oh hey, chair back - swoosh! Guinan, couldn't help but notice you could use a hand behind the bar - swoosh! Wow Worf, that upright stand you got for your bat'leth is really nice - swoosh! The tall asshole.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:46 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


You DO NOT want to know what the Tamarians call that.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:47 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Shaka...The balls fell"?
posted by Optamystic at 1:53 PM on May 8, 2013 [26 favorites]


I think he does it because, like all tall people, he's an asshole.

Hey now.

If you kept hitting your head on the rafters in the basement every time you did laundry, and short people kept asking you to reach things for them, and you could never actually see traffic lights when you're less than three cars away from them without scrunching down awkwardly, and you had to do kind of a limbo thing to get to the stuff on the back row of a salad bar, you'd be a little grumpy too.
posted by Foosnark at 1:55 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


Hey, how's the weather up there? HA-HA!
posted by NedKoppel at 1:58 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


blue_beetle: You DO NOT want to know what the Tamarians call that.

If the link to the Tamarian language page on Memory Alpha shows up as a visited link, you may be a nerd (like me).
posted by Rock Steady at 1:59 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


Temba, his stance wide.
posted by cortex at 2:00 PM on May 8, 2013 [54 favorites]


Shit. I've just tried it too and now there's Earl Grey tea spilled all over the place.
posted by salishsea at 2:01 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


I have short, stubby legs and what is this?
posted by brundlefly at 2:03 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


OK I tried it. I am a normal size dude with a normal size chair. This is not an organic maneuver and it will take more practice to perfect than it is probably worth.
posted by bukvich at 2:06 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Tell it, Foosnark! Do you short people want to hear about back problems? Cuz I can tell you about damn back problems! And knee problems, and hitting your head on the bus all the time! And accidentally looking down peoples' stupid shirts and feeling uncomfortable! And never being able to find clothes that fit and having to quit gymnastics! And having to hunch to eat off the table! And so forth!

/end rant.

Anyways, yeah, this is awesome.
posted by windykites at 2:10 PM on May 8, 2013


The Riker Who Mounts the World: "This chair is my sun and stars. It is known."

Five bucks well spent, by the old gods and the new.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:28 PM on May 8, 2013 [13 favorites]


That's what I like to see.
posted by Corduroy at 2:29 PM on May 8, 2013


Could all of these failed imitations be the true lesson here? He wasn't just waiting for someone to notice, he was waiting for people to try it themselves, fail, and then feel true enlightenment wash over them like at the end of The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.

I mean, this assumes a pedagogical intent on Jonathan Frakes' part, which seems legit
posted by clockzero at 2:37 PM on May 8, 2013


...By then it was too late. I'd seen everything.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:41 PM on May 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


That's what Odo-disguised-as-Riker's-chair said in my slash fic.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:49 PM on May 8, 2013 [9 favorites]


You know, I'm pretty sure that there was one short bench (the electrophoresis area) in my old old old lab where I used to sit down like this, but it just wasn't a thing I thought about.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 2:51 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Even the anomalies are boring in this show.
posted by telstar at 2:53 PM on May 8, 2013


I'm really surprised that there are so many people who didn't know about this.
posted by yeolcoatl at 2:56 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Imagine Picard, assimilated as Locutus, looping these memories of Number One's chair hurdling leg for the Collective, over and over and over.
posted by steef at 2:57 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


The seamless way he does this at 0:11 and then six seconds later does it backwards when he gets up is just spectacular.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:59 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


I am very satisfied with this video and this thread. Good work, people.
posted by LobsterMitten at 3:13 PM on May 8, 2013


All of the chairs on the Enterprise have to be bolted down so they don't topple over every time someone shakes the camera.
posted by ckape at 3:16 PM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


That damn ship is upholstered. UPHOLSTERED! That is just.. I... grr.
posted by grubi at 3:17 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


OK, I just tried this with my chair a few times. It's not hard to get the movement down, but I'm impressed that he makes and holds eye contact the whole time in some of these scenes. (He does not when he stands up and un-straddles the chair, though.) I noticed a couple other things about the video. The first is that some of the chairs have narrow backs, making this kind of maneuver easier, but there are a few with wide backs, and he handles them quite gracefully too.

The other is that he doesn't favor one leg over the other, just lifts whichever one makes sense given the direction he's coming at the chair from. That's some pretty good ambidextrous shit right there.
posted by A dead Quaker at 3:27 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


What the fuck am I doing with my life.
posted by A dead Quaker at 3:30 PM on May 8, 2013 [54 favorites]


These are questions for wise men with skinny legs.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 3:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


All I can say is: have you checked out Deanna Troi's outfits?
posted by dfriedman at 3:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


This chair is my sun and stars. It is known.

Valar ensconar - All men must sit.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [10 favorites]


Valar ensconar - All men must sit.

oh fuck me sideways i am nerdy as shit for knowing what this means
posted by grubi at 3:43 PM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


All I can say is: have you checked out Deanna Troi's outfits?

I have this rainy day project idea of doing a systematic infographic of Deanna's wardrobe on a per-episode basis for the whole series run, just by skimming quickly through every episode, grabbing representative screenshots the first time a given outfit or hairdo appears, and making a big checklist. The only thing that has stopped me so far is that it's a ridiculous amount of effort for basically no good reason.

That certainly can't stop me forever.
posted by cortex at 3:44 PM on May 8, 2013 [43 favorites]


oh fuck me sideways i am nerdy as shit for knowing what this means

Valar otaku - All men must geek out
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:45 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


cortex - do you follow Fashion It So?
posted by djb at 3:49 PM on May 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Off and on, yeah. My big idea would be to sort of take the quantitative path vs. their entertainingly qualitative approach.
posted by cortex at 3:58 PM on May 8, 2013


I have this rainy day project idea of doing a systematic infographic of Deanna's wardrobe on a per-episode basis for the whole series run, just by skimming quickly through every episode, grabbing representative screenshots the first time a given outfit or hairdo appears, and making a big checklist. The only thing that has stopped me so far is that it's a ridiculous amount of effort for basically no good reason.
At one time, my older brother had watched so much Brady Bunch that he could reliably identify an episode simply by watching the opening shot (which a lot of the time was just a car pulling into the Brady driveway.) So what I'm saying is, if you want people on the internet to look up to you like a big brother, this would be well worth the effort.
posted by usonian at 4:00 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


like all tall people, he's an asshole. And because he's a tall asshole,


I take it that you are a fidget.
posted by notreally at 4:14 PM on May 8, 2013


When this show was originally on, and I used to watch it with my longtime girlfriend (yes, we are very very old,) we used to crack up at the way Riker would stand on the bridge with one leg propped up on stuff so he was kind of putting his junk right in people's faces. We dubbed it the Riker Stance. I just Googled the phrase to see if I could find an image of it, and here we are.

The other cool thing about the clip above is that we can quickly watch as Riker goes from clean-shaven, thinnish and kind of awkward to increasingly beard-y, chubby-ish and Old Spice awesome. He's almost like an evolving Pokemon.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 4:15 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


I wonder if Tom Riker* does it too, or if the loss of the easy swagger took this along with it.

The "other" William Thomas Riker, created (or perhaps not) in a transporter accident that resulted in two William Thomas Rikers, Tom being unknowingly abandoned alone on a planet for several years when Will was created (or perhaps not) upon beamup from the surface.
posted by Flunkie at 4:19 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


OK, somebody has to say it, and I'm willing to be That Person:

How does he get on and off the toilet?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Riker never poops. B'lee'dat.
posted by grubi at 4:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Shaka...The balls fell"?

Nothing has ever made me emit such surprised laughter as this right here.
posted by Dokterrock at 4:30 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


I just emailed this clip to a tall friend asking, "okay, have you EVER done this?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:31 PM on May 8, 2013


It's kind (and perhaps a little naive) how Flunkie thought an explanation of who Tom Riker is was necessary to anyone who may have already read this 120+ comment thread on the sitting habits of the original.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:31 PM on May 8, 2013 [38 favorites]


I want to see a Riker backwards chair "Wesley, let's talk for a second about GANGS" guidance councilor version of this.
oh god please no this was bad enough
posted by Flunkie at 4:38 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


like all tall people, he's an asshole

6-foot-4 represent! Hand me my iPhone. It's the one that says BAD MOTHERFUCKER on it.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I just assume he's attempting to seduce these chairs... Their culture's prohibitions against such a thing be damned!
posted by drezdn at 4:44 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


The fact that apparently nobody has noticed this until right now

1992. Note in same thread the reference to "the Picard Pull"....

Ten times, even over the course of several seasons

Frankly, I'm surprised they found so few. I just finished rewatching S2 and it seems like I've seen it ten times already.
posted by dhartung at 4:44 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


So I've been watching this... some more.

I feel like it's easy to explain him getting in the chairs this way. He has a bad back, he's an asshole, the chairs are really stupidly designed, whatever.

But to get out of the chairs the same way? I mean, he had to have PRACTICED that shit. It's like a ninja maneuver. I think the only explanation is that he is fucking with us.
posted by selfnoise at 4:46 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


How does he get on and off the toilet?

Teleporter?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:46 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


But to get out of the chairs the same way? I mean, he had to have PRACTICED that shit.

It's the scene blocking and camera set up.

"OK, Jonathan, you're going to come in here and hit this mark here and stay in this camera's view, say your lines, then exit the same way, keeping your facing on this camera. You can't turn away or step aside for the chair, or else you're off camera. Come straight in, leave straight out."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? Step over the chair like I'm some kind ... of ... space ... cowboy...? Never mind, I got this."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:52 PM on May 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


How does he get on and off the toilet?

Teleporter?


That's why they never gave O'Brien a bathroom break. He could just pee into the beam.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:59 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


Okay, I was having kind of a shitty, headachy day.

Now I've seen this video and the discussion thread that resulted, and I'm having a shitty, headachy day and an asthma attack from laughing so hard.

So, umm, FAILWIN, I guess?
posted by jacquilynne at 5:02 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Failwin Lannister always spays his pets.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 5:05 PM on May 8, 2013 [20 favorites]


"I call it Hearteater."
/ Riker swings leg over Tyrion, roundhouse kicks Joffrey
"I call it Ten Forward."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:13 PM on May 8, 2013 [16 favorites]


If the link to the Tamarian language page on Memory Alpha shows up as a visited link, you may be a nerd (like me).

Related post.
posted by homunculus at 5:18 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


He's training for the pommel horse, and just hasn't gotten around to working the second leg in yet.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:21 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


He's dead, Gymkata.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 5:22 PM on May 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


Also, Slo-mo replay with bionic noises.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:24 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Shaka...The balls fell"?

Fleebnork, his nostrils burning.

Bourbon through one's nose is not entirely pleasant.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:44 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Would somebody please ask Wil Wheaton about this? Did he note it at the time?
posted by anastasiav at 5:48 PM on May 8, 2013


Two things:
  1. This may be the greatest Mefi thread I've ever encountered.
  2. GUYS. GUYS GUYS. Y'all need to know about the Riker Lean.
posted by duffell at 6:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [11 favorites]


It's all too obvious: Riker is just constantly prepping for his turn with the Old West program in the holodeck.
posted by item at 6:25 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, is it Riker gif time?
posted by jason_steakums at 6:26 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I never, ever noticed this.

What a great clip and a great thread. Also, it lead me to discover this Riker clip, loving titled, "Thanks a fucking lot, Riker."
posted by kbanas at 6:34 PM on May 8, 2013 [16 favorites]


Would somebody please ask Wil Wheaton about this? Did he note it at the time?

Judging from at least a few of those clips, he was probably too busy screaming silently to take any notes. (Seriously, that first one? He is so patently thinking "JESUS CHRIST OKAY LOOK AT WHOOPI look at Whoopi okay everything's going to be all right. Happy place, Wil... okay, now you can look back at him.")
posted by Etrigan at 6:37 PM on May 8, 2013


I am a tall person. 6'3". Noticed this when the show was airing. Tried it myself a few times back then and.... the height of the chair is very important, yo.

OW
posted by zarq at 6:39 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, it lead me to discover this Riker clip, loving titled, "Thanks a fucking lot, Riker."
It's the 24th Century, and they still haven't solved the problem of ass dialing.
posted by Flunkie at 6:52 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Would somebody please ask Wil Wheaton about this? Did he note it at the time?

So, Wil Wheaton is actually a well known heavy commenter on reddit...and is responding to this right now. His explanation: Riker/Frakes had a back injury.

Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. I don't think this actually works over here...
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:18 PM on May 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Source: I served on the Enterprise with Riker for 5 years.
Awesome. :)
posted by zarq at 7:23 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


That makes sense, is pedestrian, and I hate it.
posted by Justinian at 7:33 PM on May 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Riker mounts his chair
Like he is straddling mountains.
Engage, Number One.
posted by NedKoppel at 7:38 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Whereas the Picard smoothing thing is because Patrick Stewart is actually a human gun that must be cocked frequently.

I've read that fanfic.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:44 PM on May 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Since this mystery has been solved let me just say I am surprised, given the huge success of the Star Trek film reboot, that Paramount hasn't decided to resurrect it on TV somehow.
posted by Justinian at 7:44 PM on May 8, 2013


Gives new meaning to the term 'space junk.'
posted by New Frontier at 7:48 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


My mom saw an interview where they kept talking about how their uniform shirts kept riding up, and now she constantly sees them tugging at their shirts. Another thing for her to spot now! :D

....and on reading the thread, it even has a name, the Picard Pull! HA!
posted by IndigoRain at 7:49 PM on May 8, 2013


T.D. Strange: " Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. I don't think this actually works over here..."

Something something Wil doesn't like Mefi. Someone will be along to post the link to why shortly. I can't find it.
posted by IndigoRain at 7:51 PM on May 8, 2013


I tried this tonight... Let's just say I Barclay'd it.
posted by drezdn at 7:55 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


How does he get on and off the toilet?

The Enterprise-D doesn't have toilets. Instead, the entire ship is continually bathed in scans and whenever the central computer detects a full bladder or bowel, the offending matter is transported out of the body and into Yuck Processing. Or you can just say "Computer, relieve me."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:22 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hypothetically, could you reprogram the computer to transport the offending matter out of your body and into someone else?
posted by homunculus at 8:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Something something Wil doesn't like Mefi.

Basically, when Wil started his blog, we did this and while several of the comments in thread were nice, Wil took some exception at being called "lame", although I think he got over us pretty quick. We were part of the internet in general continuing to shit on him for a poorly written and under-developed role he played when he was a kid.

In short, not one of our best moments, but there it is.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:40 PM on May 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


I always remember hearing the shirt tugging referred to as "The Picard Maneuver".
posted by ckape at 8:43 PM on May 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hypothetically, could you reprogram the computer to transport the offending matter out of your body and into someone else?

I've read that fanfic too.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:10 PM on May 8, 2013


Stop reading my Star Trek transporter fecal transplant fanfic over my shoulder, radwolf76.

Wait, did I seriously just write that? I better not hit Post.
posted by Nomyte at 9:35 PM on May 8, 2013


The only thing that has stopped me so far is that it's a ridiculous amount of effort for basically no good reason.

Surely the good people of Fashion It So have done a fair amount of the work for you?
posted by kenko at 9:48 PM on May 8, 2013


I am interested in this new knowledge. Mostly because I want to see how it plays out in LARP Trek. Maybe an animated GIF frame! A boy can dream ...
posted by barnacles at 9:50 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Since this mystery has been solved let me just say I am surprised, given the huge success of the Star Trek film reboot, that Paramount hasn't decided to resurrect it on TV somehow.

I would pay to see The Rikers in Space.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:50 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


ckape, yes, the thread notes that the crew (not fans, funnily enough) named it that. But Picard Pull was so special slash I needed to bring it here.
posted by dhartung at 10:29 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


So I finally indulged my inner 12 year old geek, bought a command uniform top for Halloween last year and convinced my girlfriend at the time to go as Counselor Troi since she really wanted a couple's costume. 1) My sideburns just refuse to grow out. 2) Bless her heart, she was a good sport even if she introduced herself as "Diana." 3) Them shirts ride up. The shirt tug is the most natural and subconscious thing in the world and then you grin to yourself a little because if Picard and Riker do it, it must be awesome. 4) I forgot to coach her to call me imzadi that night. Damn it. 5) Just caught up to the first Worf/Deanna episode in my TNG rewatching. Yuck.
posted by Skwirl at 11:53 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Goddammit it's almost 2 AM here and I just read this entire thread
posted by Sleeper at 11:59 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Protip: Don't try this move in a skirt.
posted by pxe2000 at 4:18 AM on May 9, 2013


ckape, yes, the thread notes that the crew (not fans, funnily enough) named it that. But Picard Pull was so special slash I needed to bring it here.

I like Picard Maneuver better.
posted by Fleebnork at 4:32 AM on May 9, 2013


I just sent a link to this thread to my colleague who keeps a framed photo of Will Riker by her desk at work.

And now I'm trying to remember why I was explaining the whole double-named "Picard Maneuver" thing to someone recently, Daimon Bok and all. I think I was officially representing my employer at the time.
posted by brainwane at 6:57 AM on May 9, 2013


I kept hitting "primary characters from TNG" on the slash pairing generator and it finally gave me a Riker; it paired Will Riker with Admiral Nechayev. Who is arguably the one person in the Federation who would be least impressed with his chair antics.
posted by brainwane at 7:01 AM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


brainwane: I kept hitting "primary characters from TNG" on the slash pairing generator

Oh that's fun!

The Internet eagerly awaits your short story about the shocking perversions of Noonien Soong and Vash.

The Internet eagerly awaits your 14-part serial about the angst-filled soul-searching of Beverly Crusher and Keiko O'Brien. (!)

The Internet eagerly awaits your 6-part serial about the kinky depravity of the Crystalline Entity and Jean-Luc Picard. (!!!)
posted by Rock Steady at 7:53 AM on May 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Rikering a chair is in the same class of activities as Dukes of Hazzarding a car window.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 7:55 AM on May 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I am not sure I understand how the Slash generator is defining primary, secondary or tertiary characters.

It suggested Locutus/a male bolian when pairing 2 primary characters from TNG. If a character doesn't even have a name, how can they possibly be primary? I would have thought that primary characters would have meant regular cast members, or at minimum long term recurring characters.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:00 AM on May 9, 2013


They were probably thinking of Mr. Mot.
posted by zarq at 8:05 AM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's just that Bolians are that big, IYKWIM.

They were probably thinking of Mr. Mot.

God help me:

Locutus, with a lurching, grinding stride, carried his once-human frame into the barbershop. The small, hidden part of his mind that still remembered what life was like as the man, Picard, recognized the place as known, safe, comforting. But Picard was dead, Picard was a vestige of old weakness and imperfection, and Locutus was here with a job to do. As he focused his enhanced optical sensor on the frame of the bald, blue figure before him, he spoke his familiar refrain:

"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

Mot looked at him evenly, grabbed an apron, and nodded toward the barber's chair. "Maybe, but let's at least give you a trim first."

Locutus stared in confusion, but when the Bolian prompted him with a quick click of the tongue some familiar instinct kicked in and he settled his biomechanical frame into the chair without thought or question. Within his mind, that small part of Picard screamed, in hope and in triumph, at this bodily rebellion against his transformation into a monster of the hive mind.

"Well, look at you!" Mot ran his fingers lightly over the borg's tortured landscape of a skull, grey flesh riddled with machines and tubes. "I'll do what I can, but you really have to give me something to work with, Jean Luc."

"I am Locutus of Borg—"

"Of course you are, dear. Shall we start with a scalp massage?" Mot began gently teasing and stretching the flesh on the borg's head, working his nimble fingers around the implants and reminding the human portions of his former captain, his once-almost lover, what organic touch was like. The borg shifted uncertainly in his seat.

"This is...familiar..."

The barber began rubbing the borg's ears, and leaned down to whisper to the man he knew must be lurking somewhere inside: "Jean Luc, I have always wanted to be...familiar..."
posted by cortex at 8:46 AM on May 9, 2013 [19 favorites]


WARNING AFTER THE FACT:

Whosoever reads Cortex's story above will be FOREVER MORE CHANGED.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:53 AM on May 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


cortex, that...that was...

Ach.
posted by salishsea at 9:40 AM on May 9, 2013


Nevakhi vekha ha maan: Rekke, m'aresakea norethi fitte.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 9:55 AM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


zarq: They were probably thinking of Mr. Mot.

No, Mot showed up by name in a couple of examples I saw. Maybe number of appearances is enough to push a character into the primary range? Since "Unnamed Male Bolian" must appear in the background of a bunch of episodes, the algorithm assumes it must be a primary character. Even though it's not intended to be the same Bolian in each of those instances, the credit scraping robot doesn't know that.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:10 AM on May 9, 2013


They are all hairless cowards who back into their chairs like frightened children.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 10:17 AM on May 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


Rock Steady & jacquilynne, does the slash pairing generator FAQ help? Maybe if there are a lot of people of that species then they're "primary" in that series?
posted by brainwane at 11:46 AM on May 9, 2013


cortex: " "Of course you are, dear. Shall we start with a scalp massage?" Mot began gently teasing and stretching the flesh on the borg's head, working his nimble fingers around the implants and reminding the human portions of his former captain, his once-almost lover, what organic touch was like. The borg shifted uncertainly in his seat."

CANNOT UNSEE.
posted by zarq at 12:09 PM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'll be [rocking back and forth in a fetal position] in my bunk.
posted by usonian at 12:25 PM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Would somebody please ask Wil Wheaton about this? Did he note it at the time?

A redditor speculates and gets confirmation from Wil himself.
posted by Jpfed at 12:30 PM on May 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


So I've been in meetings since 7:30 this morning. How did this thread get even better since I've been gone?

slash pairing generator

You know, back in my day, we used to have to do that with yellow legal pads and dice. Progress!!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:46 PM on May 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am not sure whether or not I have been improved or irreparably damaged by cortex's story.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:06 PM on May 9, 2013


> A redditor speculates and gets confirmation from Wil himself.

A little off-topic, but I enjoyed this interaction a few comments down on that page:

Arithered: Hey, Wil, it just occurred to me: did you ever do an official Reddit AMA? [..]
wil: I haven't done one. I don't know how much more I can say about Rampart.

posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 1:16 PM on May 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Patrick Stewart: Self portrait with candy floss
posted by homunculus at 6:59 PM on May 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


does 'srat' have some meaning that I'm unaware of, or are the tags just misspelled?
posted by fragmede at 12:43 PM on May 10, 2013


Superior Riker Ass Tactics.
posted by drezdn at 12:59 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Depending on whether "ass" is a noun or adverb there, that could mean "tactics performed by/using Riker's ass", or it could mean "tactics of a particularly Riker nature".
posted by Jpfed at 1:08 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Or "superior tactics related to Riker's ass"

aaaand we're back to slash.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:26 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


We never really left it, we were just in a refractory period.
posted by cortex at 1:33 PM on May 10, 2013


My ass has never lost a battle. A Commander who cannot shake it is no Commander.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 1:35 PM on May 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Fascinating thread:Riker probably rode horses while he was off duty
posted by Upon Further Review at 8:46 PM on May 11, 2013


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