Is your son a computer hacker?

December 4, 2001 12:09 AM

Is your son a computer hacker? Has your son loaded strange programs like "Flash" on the family computer? Is your son reading dangerous books like "Programming with Perl?" Is your son obsessed with "Lunix?" [sic] Hey, I read it on the web, so it must be true.
posted by chipr (26 comments total)

I'm not a parent now, but I would certainly be concerned if I saw my kids with a book like Programming with Perl. *shudder* There are some things no parent should have to deal with.
posted by delmoi at 12:26 AM on December 4, 2001

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor"...
LOL
'nuff said. we need to crack down on that shit right quick.
posted by juv3nal at 12:27 AM on December 4, 2001

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

They are taking the piss.

They have to be.
posted by ajbattrick at 12:30 AM on December 4, 2001

If kids are asking for AMD chips and installing Bonzi Buddy, then the terrorists have already won (or something).
posted by sycophant at 12:30 AM on December 4, 2001

You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves.

[speechless]
posted by thijsk at 12:39 AM on December 4, 2001

i've got an athlon. watch me bring down the world ma, wheee!
posted by dai at 12:39 AM on December 4, 2001

The 'Quake'!
LOL It sounds just like my dad!
Uhh dude.....
boobs. A poem by anonymous.
Your whole famialy is gay
and this is what watching the 700club brings
ummm...... riiiiiiiiiiight
I am Utterly Shocked!!!!!!!
Man..it's not ALLOWD to be that dumb.and have kids
Were you completely stoned when you posted?
hadnt occurred to ya huh smart guy
Those of u That agree with this Dumb fuck
Evil Canasians!
OH MY GOD! THERE IS A NED FLANDERS!!!!
OMG, my Grandma knows more about computers!
This idiot forced me to kill myself
After reading your post, we immolated our son...
YOU SIR....ARE A FUCKING MORON

the titles in the thread read like poetry--
anonymous reader is not at a loss for words...
posted by y2karl at 12:41 AM on December 4, 2001

ajbattrick: Of course it's a piss-take. Duh!

Damn funny one, though...
posted by salmacis at 12:41 AM on December 4, 2001

Best. Adequacy. Article. Ever. It just keeps going, and going...

Especially scroll through some of the comments. They get better and better. This one will never die. When the last Segway is auctioned off for cab fare on eBay, enraged 13 year olds will still be posting poorly spelled flames on this sucker.

Utter genius.
posted by rusty at 1:41 AM on December 4, 2001

what exactly did he hack?
posted by monkeyJuice at 4:01 AM on December 4, 2001

"Especially scroll through some of the comments. They get better and better." i love the "my son bought quake and i can SEE he's talking to other people please help me " ... maaan i didn't know there were so many morons - who let them use a computer anyway ? who let them grow KIDS !?!! they *are* dangerous people ...
posted by aureliano buendia at 4:21 AM on December 4, 2001

This just proves my point: people need parenting lessons.
posted by benjh at 4:25 AM on December 4, 2001

Love the way the story looks like it's had Ezula's TopText applied to it, with the settings cranked right up to the "Mindless Consumer Sheep" level.
posted by dlewis at 4:26 AM on December 4, 2001

God you humorless bastards this is a JOKE. Look at the sidebar poll. Sheesh.
posted by glenwood at 6:59 AM on December 4, 2001

Sure, it is a joke. But it's not funny, because some people actually think this way.
posted by yesster at 7:01 AM on December 4, 2001

Sure, it is a joke. But it's not funny, because some people actually think this way.

Actually, that's what makes it such a good put-on. And yep, ol' Dad had me going - thought for sure he was serious until I saw the sidebar poll.
posted by groundhog at 7:21 AM on December 4, 2001

"Sure, it is a joke. But it's not funny, because some people actually think this way."

I stand by my "humorless bastard" comment.
posted by glenwood at 7:23 AM on December 4, 2001

The best part of it are the links (the ones that work)

We raised them to be honest and to have integrity and Peter betrayed the principles
posted by chainring at 7:26 AM on December 4, 2001

God you humorless bastards this is a JOKE.

I'm sorry but hacking is no joke, glenwood. Businesses lose trillions of dollars every single minute because of maligned children whose brains have been scrambled by the complex electromagnetic radiations that resonate from AMD powered cyber-terrorism gateways. Unless we put a stop to the use of freely-available abominations such as Lunix (a machination of communist sympathisers if ever I saw one), our country and our children will never truly be safe. So humor that.
posted by dlewis at 7:31 AM on December 4, 2001 [1 favorite]

Touche, dlewis.

I just have to wonder sometimes, are ignorant parents more dangerous? Or are the open source dorks who take themselves WAY too seriously?

Either way, they're both pretty annoying and predictable.
posted by glenwood at 7:36 AM on December 4, 2001

if i saw my hypothetical son with a programming with perl book, i'd get him a programming with python and an ANSI common lisp book right away. you think i'm kidding.
posted by moz at 8:14 AM on December 4, 2001

Sounds like electromagnetic radiation is God's way of punishing hackers. Score another one for God!
posted by etc. at 8:19 AM on December 4, 2001

Have An Adequate Day. :|
posted by y2karl at 9:01 AM on December 4, 2001

I could see an uninformed parents taking this page to heart. It would be sad, but someone like my dad who computer-deficient would believe everything written here.
posted by jmd82 at 3:38 PM on December 7, 2001

Did y'all notice the names? It's the Brady Bunch.
posted by kindall at 5:02 PM on December 7, 2001

Late to the party, I know, but:

Though some of the articles on Adequacy.org are funny, the user comments are consistently slap-your-forehead-on-the-ground-to-see-if-there's-anything-inside braindead.
Not at all like the brilliant comments on MeFi.
posted by signal at 12:59 PM on December 9, 2001