And you thought vampires were effete.

December 5, 2001 4:53 PM

And you thought vampires were effete. Obviously Ann Rice never met the Redneck Vampire, aka Michael Ray Vanmeter. The gasoline huffing undead from Alabama claims to be 211 years old. Don't believe him? Check out those teeth.
posted by emptyage (8 comments total)

I dig the timeline on the Rednecks and Vampires history page.
posted by jennyb at 6:12 PM on December 5, 2001

Did you see the song he wrote called "suck my dong"?
posted by babydoll at 7:48 PM on December 5, 2001

i was worried when i heard a soundfile start up on the first page, but damn if that aint a catchy tune...
posted by johnboy at 8:11 PM on December 5, 2001

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The best post I've seen in quite some time.
posted by sharksandwich at 6:37 AM on December 6, 2001

"No, not a turtle!. A vampire."
Ha ha ha ha ha...
posted by TiggleTaggleTiger at 9:03 AM on December 6, 2001

If you want to see decidedly non-effete redneck vampires in action, see if you can find a rental copy of Kathryn Bigelow's excellent 1987 film "Near Dark", where Lance Henriksen and Bill Paxton play Jesse and Severin, two of the meanest, redneckiest vampires you'll ever see.

Caleb: "How old are you, Jesse?"

Jesse: "Well, let's just say that I fought for the South. We lost."

The scene where they feed on the patrons of an isolated Texas roadhouse is still one of the most horrifying scenes I've ever seen in a movie. Amazingly, it manages to inject some comic relief in the midst of all that -- Severin leans over a biker whose neck he's just broken, but before his lips and teeth touch the biker's neck he grimaces, hesitates and complains, "I hate it when they ain't been shaved!"

Those guys would have Mr. Vanmeter for a between-meal snack.

(Anchor Bay should be releasing this on DVD next fall. Yay!)
posted by chuq at 10:54 AM on December 6, 2001

I thought "Near Dark" was good, but wasn't very scary. I found it somewhat disappointing because it had been recommended to me as a "Sabbat" movie, which it ... kind of is, but isn't really. The whole turning-human-again thing seems like a cop-out to me.

It never made sense to me that there even is a stereotypical vampire; any human could be one, so of course there are as many types of them as there are people...
posted by e^2 at 4:33 PM on December 6, 2001

White trash vampire movies, who'd athunk it? I was seeing it as more likely a potential Fox or UPN series... Of course, then it would have to be white trash teen vampires.
posted by y2karl at 6:09 PM on December 6, 2001