God's Loophole
June 26, 2013 4:13 AM Subscribe
Garfunkel & Oates just released their new song online (probably not SFW) It's the latest of their social commentaries
Please note that the latest video is not really SFW
The duo also answered questions on Reddit
This latest song will presumably cause some controversy due to the subject matter and should probably be shared here.
Garfunkel & Oates previously on Meta
Ps. This is my first post and I know it's not overly serious (even though the subject of the song might be extemely serious to some), so please be kind
The duo also answered questions on Reddit
This latest song will presumably cause some controversy due to the subject matter and should probably be shared here.
Garfunkel & Oates previously on Meta
Ps. This is my first post and I know it's not overly serious (even though the subject of the song might be extemely serious to some), so please be kind
metafilter: seems like ONLY white nerdy kids would be into this.
posted by empath at 4:30 AM on June 26, 2013 [22 favorites]
posted by empath at 4:30 AM on June 26, 2013 [22 favorites]
I want to love Garfunkel and Oates, but there's always something slightly in the way...
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:36 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:36 AM on June 26, 2013
The AMA on reddit was entertaining. I had no idea these two were nearly that big a deal.
I don't see it as a blatant attention grab, so much as trying to pay rent.
posted by DigDoug at 4:36 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
I don't see it as a blatant attention grab, so much as trying to pay rent.
posted by DigDoug at 4:36 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
At what point do you stop being an aspiring actress? Garfunkel was in Million Dollar Baby and Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing and Oates has popped up in roughly half the sitcoms I've been watching lately.
posted by pishposh at 4:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by pishposh at 4:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is my first post and I know it's not overly serious (even though the subject of the song might be extemely serious to some), so please be kind
I think the fact that we got the requisite "your favorite band sucks" comment right out of the gate actually may be something of a badge of honor for your first post.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [67 favorites]
I think the fact that we got the requisite "your favorite band sucks" comment right out of the gate actually may be something of a badge of honor for your first post.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [67 favorites]
What? No?? Did Art Garfunkel and Daryl Oates get together? AND both have a gender reassignment? Hmm guess I should look at the post prior to commenting. But in this day and age, who knows...
posted by sammyo at 4:45 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 4:45 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
I love Garfunkel and Oates, but find about half of their songs can be listened to exactly once. I think this might be one of them. I never get tired of 29/31 and A Turn for the Douche.
posted by 256 at 4:46 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by 256 at 4:46 AM on June 26, 2013
Yep, looks like somebody didn't get the "don't shit in the thread with the first comment" memo... (there's a REASON that half that user name is Monster, eh?)
Thanks for the post, being the unsophisticated lout that I am, I find great amusement in most of Kate and Riki's songs. No Garfunkel and Oates post can survive, however, without a link to Dear Deer, because there is no cuter kid in a video about killing.
posted by HuronBob at 4:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
Thanks for the post, being the unsophisticated lout that I am, I find great amusement in most of Kate and Riki's songs. No Garfunkel and Oates post can survive, however, without a link to Dear Deer, because there is no cuter kid in a video about killing.
posted by HuronBob at 4:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
Hadn't heard of this duo til now. Musically this doesn't even come close to being my cup of tea, but so what? Goddamn good on 'em for their putting stupid religious hypocrisy in its place. That I can certainly applaud.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:49 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:49 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
At what point do you stop being an aspiring actress?
Riki Lindhome was on the Doug Loves Movies podcast just last week and Doug Benson pointed out during the Leonard Maltin Game* that for pretty much every movie she's been in, she's been the cast member juuuust less well-known than the last one to get any billing. (As she pointed out, she was standing next to Margo Martindale in all their scenes in Million Dollar Baby, yet MM was billed, Riki wasn't.) So I'd say she's not there yet.
*Which for the initiated is a pretty brilliant trivia game usually based on guessing movies from ridiculous categories with one of the clues being a list of the lowest-billed supporting actors.
posted by psoas at 4:52 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Riki Lindhome was on the Doug Loves Movies podcast just last week and Doug Benson pointed out during the Leonard Maltin Game* that for pretty much every movie she's been in, she's been the cast member juuuust less well-known than the last one to get any billing. (As she pointed out, she was standing next to Margo Martindale in all their scenes in Million Dollar Baby, yet MM was billed, Riki wasn't.) So I'd say she's not there yet.
*Which for the initiated is a pretty brilliant trivia game usually based on guessing movies from ridiculous categories with one of the clues being a list of the lowest-billed supporting actors.
posted by psoas at 4:52 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
(Hit return with focus out of the text window and therefore sent the post rather than inserting a carriage return - sorry for one-line negativity blast...)
In this case, I think it's just that it feels kind of low-hanging fruity - Leviticus bans wearing clothes which mix fibers, self-styled biblical literalists pick and choose their passages. These were well-known retorts when President Bartlett used them on The West Wing, for about the same audience. It's a fun song, but it doesn't feel like it's doing anything that is going to surprise its target audience.
On the other hand, I really like Riki Lindhome as an actress and Kate Micucci as a musician - Walking in Los Angeles appeals to me very strongly, not least because it captures the experience of being a pedestrian in Los Angeles remarkably well. And Lindhome was terrific in Much Ado About Nothing, and by getting to treat Sean Maher as a slip'n'slide as a job has already basically won the lottery of life. The two together just don't seem to work for me as much of the time as I'd expect.
IoN, my God that Reddit AMA got creepy fast.
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:59 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
In this case, I think it's just that it feels kind of low-hanging fruity - Leviticus bans wearing clothes which mix fibers, self-styled biblical literalists pick and choose their passages. These were well-known retorts when President Bartlett used them on The West Wing, for about the same audience. It's a fun song, but it doesn't feel like it's doing anything that is going to surprise its target audience.
On the other hand, I really like Riki Lindhome as an actress and Kate Micucci as a musician - Walking in Los Angeles appeals to me very strongly, not least because it captures the experience of being a pedestrian in Los Angeles remarkably well. And Lindhome was terrific in Much Ado About Nothing, and by getting to treat Sean Maher as a slip'n'slide as a job has already basically won the lottery of life. The two together just don't seem to work for me as much of the time as I'd expect.
IoN, my God that Reddit AMA got creepy fast.
My theory is that Riki is secretly madly in love (or overtly as "a running joke" but still secretly true deeper than kate realizes) and is trying to slowly corrupt her until one day she gets drunk and just gives in. I think Riki has been planning this secretly for years and is just waiting for the right moment of weakness after a break up after a few shots of Ouzo or Tequila for the "who needs guys anyways, if I were a lesbian I'd totally make out, in fact I'm so drunk it might be fun... you know as a joke hahaha wouldn't that be funny?!!? tee hee" and then before you know it they are moving to oregon and drinking pabst to be ironic and adopting a cambodian child to join their traveling band.Because obviously, two women hanging out together can only be the setup for a slightly acquaintance-rapey porn scenario.
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:59 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
Flapjax, then you've not heard about pregnant women?
posted by HuronBob at 5:04 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 5:04 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
If I am allowed to say something less than positive at this point in the thread, this just comes across as mean spirited. The targeting is off. Parody the institutions that create and control fearful, ignorant teenage girls, but I don't think the girls themselves are fair game for two grown women.
posted by Catch at 5:05 AM on June 26, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by Catch at 5:05 AM on June 26, 2013 [11 favorites]
Catch has a point, there.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:09 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:09 AM on June 26, 2013
I'm not actually sure they're "grown", especially Kate, she appears to be about 12 or so.
posted by HuronBob at 5:10 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 5:10 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
So I'd say she's not there yet.
So she isn't a star, but of course she's an actress! She acts in movies and people pay her for it (presumably). But I really didn't mean to derail the thread squabbling over terminology.
I do agree about Doug Loves Movies, everybody who needs one more podcast in their life should give it a try. And the ones with Kate and/or Riki are often among the best.
posted by pishposh at 5:10 AM on June 26, 2013
So she isn't a star, but of course she's an actress! She acts in movies and people pay her for it (presumably). But I really didn't mean to derail the thread squabbling over terminology.
I do agree about Doug Loves Movies, everybody who needs one more podcast in their life should give it a try. And the ones with Kate and/or Riki are often among the best.
posted by pishposh at 5:10 AM on June 26, 2013
Seems like ONLY white nerdy kids would be into this.
Hey, you're way too late with that comment: the They Might Be Giants threads were all years ago!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:11 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
Hey, you're way too late with that comment: the They Might Be Giants threads were all years ago!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:11 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
(This does provide an opportunity to recycle my favorite They Might Be Giants joke, which involves one record store employee asking another for help working out which TMBG song a customer is looking for.
"She says she doesn't know the name of the song, but that it's charmingly whimsical."
"OK. That helps me to narrow it down to 'all of them'."
I'm quite cheered that I get to use that joke again before record stores wink totally out of existence, and it has to be retooled to be, like, an internal server query on Shazam or some such technodickery.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:16 AM on June 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
"She says she doesn't know the name of the song, but that it's charmingly whimsical."
"OK. That helps me to narrow it down to 'all of them'."
I'm quite cheered that I get to use that joke again before record stores wink totally out of existence, and it has to be retooled to be, like, an internal server query on Shazam or some such technodickery.)
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:16 AM on June 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:22 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:22 AM on June 26, 2013
self-styled biblical literalists pick and choose their passages
Ohoho, I see what you did there.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:27 AM on June 26, 2013 [5 favorites]
Ohoho, I see what you did there.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:27 AM on June 26, 2013 [5 favorites]
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
My question too. This is almost entirely urban legend, right?
posted by graventy at 5:49 AM on June 26, 2013
My question too. This is almost entirely urban legend, right?
posted by graventy at 5:49 AM on June 26, 2013
Agggh I am okay with cute people marketing their cuteness by picking extremely easy targets and taking cheap potshots at them, but can they at least be polite enough to restrict their songs to, like, not five minutes long?
Also yeah that Reddit thread is more than a little bit... fetishistic.
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
Also yeah that Reddit thread is more than a little bit... fetishistic.
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yep, looks like somebody didn't get the "don't shit in the thread with the first comment" memo... (there's a REASON that half that user name is Monster, eh?)
Hey!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 5:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [10 favorites]
Hey!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 5:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [10 favorites]
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
I knew girls in high school who did in fact hold this belief. Rural Ontario.
posted by 256 at 5:56 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I knew girls in high school who did in fact hold this belief. Rural Ontario.
posted by 256 at 5:56 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I loved it.
posted by starvingartist at 6:03 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by starvingartist at 6:03 AM on June 26, 2013
"Thank you god for making me holy."
These ladies are the best.
posted by ColdChef at 6:12 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
These ladies are the best.
posted by ColdChef at 6:12 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Poophole Loophole is just about the best phrase ever.
And I can report that it's not just an urban legend. When I was a teenager, a local doctor's office noticed that a lot of young girls were coming into his office for...similar complaints. It turns out that guys on the football team had discovered the "poophole loophole". A locker search turned up a lot of lubes and something called "Anal Eze." At the time I remember thinking, "Has everyone forgotten about blowjobs?"
posted by ColdChef at 6:30 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
And I can report that it's not just an urban legend. When I was a teenager, a local doctor's office noticed that a lot of young girls were coming into his office for...similar complaints. It turns out that guys on the football team had discovered the "poophole loophole". A locker search turned up a lot of lubes and something called "Anal Eze." At the time I remember thinking, "Has everyone forgotten about blowjobs?"
posted by ColdChef at 6:30 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Poophole Loophole is just about the best phrase ever.
I remember thinking, "Has everyone forgotten about blowjobs?"
No, no, they hadn't forgotten. It's just that "blowjob" doesn't rhyme with "loophole".
Duh.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
I remember thinking, "Has everyone forgotten about blowjobs?"
No, no, they hadn't forgotten. It's just that "blowjob" doesn't rhyme with "loophole".
Duh.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:37 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
If there's one thing we need, it's more quirky pandering to the internet demographic.
posted by mecran01 at 6:38 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by mecran01 at 6:38 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
While "Poophole Loophole" is euphonious, this term already has a name: "saddlebacking", named for Rick Warren's church.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 6:38 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 6:38 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
the internet demographic.
Ahem. 50-something here. On the internet every god damn day.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:39 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
Ahem. 50-something here. On the internet every god damn day.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:39 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
A few years ago a friend showed me an email or other "article" on the subject, but that only makes it seem more likely to be an urban legend.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:40 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:40 AM on June 26, 2013
I've always liked these ladies. They write and sing funny songs that make me laugh. That's pretty much all I require. Not everything needs to be The Greatest Thing Ever and if something entertains me I can ignore whatever flaws might exist.
Rock on, G&O.
posted by bondcliff at 6:47 AM on June 26, 2013 [9 favorites]
Rock on, G&O.
posted by bondcliff at 6:47 AM on June 26, 2013 [9 favorites]
This is almost entirely urban legend, right?
It's the kind of urban legend that becomes real when certain people hear it, and that most people who use it as a rationalization would never admit to. So, I doubt we'll ever know the answer to that.
posted by lodurr at 6:47 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's the kind of urban legend that becomes real when certain people hear it, and that most people who use it as a rationalization would never admit to. So, I doubt we'll ever know the answer to that.
posted by lodurr at 6:47 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think there's a performance video of this song that got posted to the Blue a while back where it's just the two of them, a guitar, and a ukelele (or some shit). I liked it well enough; it was clever, even charming.
This, though. Ugh. All the cleverness, subtlety (ok, it's not that subtle, but there are some jokes that take a second), and especially charm go right out the window with the "production values" and "acting". I mean, "lay down the towels" or "come in the back door" aren't exactly head scratchers, but when they're actually laying towels on the bed and pointing at their asses during those lyrics, it's not exactly hilarious anymore.
One person's opinion anyway.
posted by supercres at 6:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
This, though. Ugh. All the cleverness, subtlety (ok, it's not that subtle, but there are some jokes that take a second), and especially charm go right out the window with the "production values" and "acting". I mean, "lay down the towels" or "come in the back door" aren't exactly head scratchers, but when they're actually laying towels on the bed and pointing at their asses during those lyrics, it's not exactly hilarious anymore.
One person's opinion anyway.
posted by supercres at 6:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: Has everyone forgotten about blowjobs?
posted by Rangeboy at 6:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by Rangeboy at 6:53 AM on June 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
"What about a kiss, boy? Why just go leaping for the clitoris anus..."
posted by lodurr at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by lodurr at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
On the internet every god damn day.
So, out of curiosity, how do you spend your time when god doesn't damn a particular day? I know it doesn't happen often, but, you have a backup plan, right?
posted by HuronBob at 7:10 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
So, out of curiosity, how do you spend your time when god doesn't damn a particular day? I know it doesn't happen often, but, you have a backup plan, right?
posted by HuronBob at 7:10 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
So, out of curiosity, how do you spend your time when god doesn't damn a particular day? I know it doesn't happen often, but, you have a backup plan, right?
I, for one, have never needed one.
posted by The Bellman at 7:18 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I, for one, have never needed one.
posted by The Bellman at 7:18 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Technical Virgin - "Future"
Technical Virgin - "Boys Can Wait"
Archive.org capture of http://www.technicalvirgin.com
posted by namewithoutwords at 7:25 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Technical Virgin - "Boys Can Wait"
Archive.org capture of http://www.technicalvirgin.com
posted by namewithoutwords at 7:25 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
Yup, there were some dancers and Mormons at Juilliard who did. And of course everyone knew about them ;)
posted by ReeMonster at 7:35 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yup, there were some dancers and Mormons at Juilliard who did. And of course everyone knew about them ;)
posted by ReeMonster at 7:35 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
"probably not" or "not really"?! now i have to watch at work to find out!
posted by mrgrimm at 7:39 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by mrgrimm at 7:39 AM on June 26, 2013
I lasted about 2 minutes. The premise itself (guys want sex; girls want to stay pure) inherently turns me off.
If I am allowed to say something less than positive at this point in the thread, this just comes across as mean spirited. The targeting is off.
Yeah, there's something about the whole framing of the situation that just makes me say no.
go right out the window with the "production values" and "acting".
Good point. A "fuck me in the ass for Jesus" song live with acoustic guitar might be funny. This video was not. Way more cliche than I expected.
I think the fact that we got the requisite "your favorite band sucks" comment right out of the gate actually may be something of a badge of honor for your first post.
Huh. I figured that was (very good) satire, but now I am not sure.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:47 AM on June 26, 2013
If I am allowed to say something less than positive at this point in the thread, this just comes across as mean spirited. The targeting is off.
Yeah, there's something about the whole framing of the situation that just makes me say no.
go right out the window with the "production values" and "acting".
Good point. A "fuck me in the ass for Jesus" song live with acoustic guitar might be funny. This video was not. Way more cliche than I expected.
I think the fact that we got the requisite "your favorite band sucks" comment right out of the gate actually may be something of a badge of honor for your first post.
Huh. I figured that was (very good) satire, but now I am not sure.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:47 AM on June 26, 2013
I don't see how I can't possibly refer to the clitoris as "Satan's Doorbell" for the rest of my days.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:54 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:54 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
THAT'S where I know Raj's girlfriend from!
posted by NoraCharles at 8:18 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by NoraCharles at 8:18 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Even Sarah Silverman has given up the being the cute girl who says "shocking" stuff schtick. Hacky.
posted by basicchannel at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by basicchannel at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013
along with the poophole loophole, i also know quite a few mormons and southern baptists who engaged in 'just the tip', and it's extended cousin, 'soaking'.
as to G&O - love them - love the gay boyfriend song, and pregnant women are smug, and turn for the douche, and go kart masturbation. i think they're lovely and i think it's fine to sing to the choir sometimes - i mean, what else are you supposed to do in the choir while you're waiting for the more regressive of our species to catch the fuck up?
posted by nadawi at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
as to G&O - love them - love the gay boyfriend song, and pregnant women are smug, and turn for the douche, and go kart masturbation. i think they're lovely and i think it's fine to sing to the choir sometimes - i mean, what else are you supposed to do in the choir while you're waiting for the more regressive of our species to catch the fuck up?
posted by nadawi at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
also i'm basically totally icked out by all the critiques of their "cuteness" or how young one of them looks.
posted by nadawi at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 8:48 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
ok i just looked up 'soaking' and i'm not really sure how that could actually work. but then i suppose that's probably why it's dumb...
posted by lodurr at 8:52 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by lodurr at 8:52 AM on June 26, 2013
The "they just want attention lol" thing is also gross but sadly predictable.
posted by elizardbits at 8:52 AM on June 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 8:52 AM on June 26, 2013 [8 favorites]
I understand the appeal of these gals, but for me - off the charts annoying. Opinion cemented by their KP Chat Show episode.
posted by davebush at 9:20 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by davebush at 9:20 AM on June 26, 2013
The "they just want attention lol" thing is also gross but sadly predictable.
Unlike the other the other 10 billion videos on YouTube, this one was posted to get people's attention.
posted by straight at 9:26 AM on June 26, 2013 [14 favorites]
Unlike the other the other 10 billion videos on YouTube, this one was posted to get people's attention.
posted by straight at 9:26 AM on June 26, 2013 [14 favorites]
but can they at least be polite enough to restrict their songs to, like, not five minutes long?
posted by Rory Marinich
Subtle, very subtle self-criticism. I like it.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:34 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by Rory Marinich
Subtle, very subtle self-criticism. I like it.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:34 AM on June 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
I don't see how I can't possibly refer to the clitoris as "Satan's Doorbell" for the rest of my days.
Similarly, I look forward to using "fifth base" at the earliest possible opportunity.
posted by psoas at 10:11 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
Similarly, I look forward to using "fifth base" at the earliest possible opportunity.
posted by psoas at 10:11 AM on June 26, 2013 [6 favorites]
It does seem a little stale with the catholic school girl dresses and everything... Anyway, previously on technical virginity.
posted by Chuckles at 10:17 AM on June 26, 2013
posted by Chuckles at 10:17 AM on June 26, 2013
The fact that I didn't find this enjoyable made The Book of Mormon seem that much more impressive.
Similar subject matter and style, but just better.
posted by sicem07 at 10:42 AM on June 26, 2013
Similar subject matter and style, but just better.
posted by sicem07 at 10:42 AM on June 26, 2013
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
This was SUCH. A. THING. in high school in nowhere fundie Iowa.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2013
This was SUCH. A. THING. in high school in nowhere fundie Iowa.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2013
Where were these girls when I was in school in nowhere fundie Alabama (answer: avoiding me with all the other girls)? I thought "technical virginity" was just bj's and hand jobs?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
I guess I'd find the virginity loophole a little more absurd if virginity itself were less absurd.
People actually have a term they use to describe a person (lol JK, woman) who has not done a super-specific thing; and they think it fundamentally defines that woman's worth as a human being. And it seems to be unique in that. I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing. There are jokey ones, but they always coopt the word 'virgin.' Anything else, no matter how significant a descriptor--teetotaler, vegetarian, atheist, etc.--you need to modify it with the word lifelong or something. The only act that merits a single word to describe a person who has always abstained from it is putting a pee-pee in a hoo-hah.
So if teenaged girls are finding silly loopholes in some silly rule designed to control and define them, I only hope it makes them stop and think about what a ridiculous and insignificant thing 'virginity' is in the first place.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:25 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
People actually have a term they use to describe a person (lol JK, woman) who has not done a super-specific thing; and they think it fundamentally defines that woman's worth as a human being. And it seems to be unique in that. I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing. There are jokey ones, but they always coopt the word 'virgin.' Anything else, no matter how significant a descriptor--teetotaler, vegetarian, atheist, etc.--you need to modify it with the word lifelong or something. The only act that merits a single word to describe a person who has always abstained from it is putting a pee-pee in a hoo-hah.
So if teenaged girls are finding silly loopholes in some silly rule designed to control and define them, I only hope it makes them stop and think about what a ridiculous and insignificant thing 'virginity' is in the first place.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:25 AM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing.
How about "alive"?
Though I suppose that would make your point....
posted by lodurr at 11:43 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
How about "alive"?
Though I suppose that would make your point....
posted by lodurr at 11:43 AM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Ooh, you got me. Alive does work.
I'll point out, though, that even 'alive' is an adjective. Even the distinction of life vs. death doesn't merit a commonly used defining noun like virgin. (I mean, there's decedent to describe a dead person, but that's mostly a legal term, and I don't think it has an antonym.)
posted by ernielundquist at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2013
I'll point out, though, that even 'alive' is an adjective. Even the distinction of life vs. death doesn't merit a commonly used defining noun like virgin. (I mean, there's decedent to describe a dead person, but that's mostly a legal term, and I don't think it has an antonym.)
posted by ernielundquist at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2013
I'm considered by some folks to be an infidel because I haven't said I share their beliefs.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:04 PM on June 26, 2013
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:04 PM on June 26, 2013
Did Art Garfunkel and Daryl Oates get together?
Throw in Jim Messina, Lisa Simpson, and the backing of Avis Rent-a-Car, and you've got yourself an act. With a #2 hit.
posted by hwyengr at 12:14 PM on June 26, 2013
Throw in Jim Messina, Lisa Simpson, and the backing of Avis Rent-a-Car, and you've got yourself an act. With a #2 hit.
posted by hwyengr at 12:14 PM on June 26, 2013
Just added "soaking" to my sexual vocabulary. Glob help us all.
posted by ColdChef at 12:31 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ColdChef at 12:31 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
People actually have a term they use to describe a person (lol JK, woman)
counterpoint
I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing.
newbie. bachelor/spinster. teetotaler.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:59 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
counterpoint
I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing.
newbie. bachelor/spinster. teetotaler.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:59 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
(I do realize "virgin" is historically mostly used for women, but the medieval church also promoted "virginity" in males ... I think? Or was it just called "chastity"?)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:00 PM on June 26, 2013
posted by mrgrimm at 1:00 PM on June 26, 2013
the mormons focus on virginity/chastity on both boys and girls. boys are told about how sinful their porn/masturbation "addiction" is and girls are encouraged to all lick the same cupcake to show just how gross they'll be to their husband on their wedding night if they don't give him a perfect and never used "gift." but at least claiming virginity (or repentance and renewed chastity) is required for both to get married in the temple. girls aren't ever really talked to about porn/masturbation (except to enforce that they should shame the guys in their for it), and boys aren't told that even if they're raped, they will have lost their purity and can never really regain it like the girls are...
i do think generally women are seen as the carriers of virginity (and seen as more damaged by its loss) but there's lots of guys out there being shamed and basically emotionally abused by the adults in their lives over the sex/masturbation issue.
posted by nadawi at 1:07 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
i do think generally women are seen as the carriers of virginity (and seen as more damaged by its loss) but there's lots of guys out there being shamed and basically emotionally abused by the adults in their lives over the sex/masturbation issue.
posted by nadawi at 1:07 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
I can't think of a single other word that is used to describe a person who has not done a thing.
n00b!
posted by straight at 1:10 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
n00b!
posted by straight at 1:10 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
Just added "soaking" to my sexual vocabulary. Glob help us all.
Good gravy, people. LINK.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around that one. Because you don't move it, it's not penetration?
Apparently, "soaking" is also sometimes called "parking."
"Just the tip" I can sort of understand (it seems like a modified version of "grinding the corn" or CAT), because of the odd definition of virgin = unbroken hymen. But "soaking" ... you could still ejaculate without moving. Is that how Joseph and Mary had the immaculate conception? ;)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:11 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Good gravy, people. LINK.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around that one. Because you don't move it, it's not penetration?
Apparently, "soaking" is also sometimes called "parking."
"Just the tip" I can sort of understand (it seems like a modified version of "grinding the corn" or CAT), because of the odd definition of virgin = unbroken hymen. But "soaking" ... you could still ejaculate without moving. Is that how Joseph and Mary had the immaculate conception? ;)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:11 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
(novice, undergraduate, assistant professor, catechumen, fiancée, vegetarian, pacifist)
posted by straight at 1:14 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by straight at 1:14 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
Apparently, "soaking" is also sometimes called "parking."
It seems as though some Mormons and Christians have reinvented tantric sex.
posted by zippy at 1:24 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
It seems as though some Mormons and Christians have reinvented tantric sex.
posted by zippy at 1:24 PM on June 26, 2013 [3 favorites]
HuronBob: I'm not actually sure they're "grown", especially Kate, she appears to be about 12 or so.Fortunately, her legal age is of more importance than how old she appears to you while dressed as a Roman Catholic high-school student. She's 33.
Honestly, that's a bizarre thing to say: "She looks like a little girlie to me, so she ain't no grownup!"
posted by IAmBroom at 2:29 PM on June 26, 2013 [4 favorites]
how do you spend your time when god doesn't damn a particular day?
God damns every single one of my days. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on. They are ALL damned by God.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:40 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
God damns every single one of my days. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on. They are ALL damned by God.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:40 PM on June 26, 2013 [1 favorite]
Is that how Joseph and Mary had the immaculate conception?
FYI - that was Joachim and Anne, Mary's parents, that immaculately conceived Mary. Jesus was begotten not made, remember?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:13 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
FYI - that was Joachim and Anne, Mary's parents, that immaculately conceived Mary. Jesus was begotten not made, remember?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:13 PM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]
Thank you, 10th Regiment! I went to Immaculate Conception School, and I'm amazed at how many Catholics get that bit of doctrine wrong.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 8:16 PM on June 26, 2013
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 8:16 PM on June 26, 2013
Is that what parking is? Thanks to the context a friend mentioned it in, I was afraid to look it up, for like years now.
Jeez. It's nice to be surprised by how innocuous something is compared to my imagination, instead of the other way.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:28 PM on June 26, 2013
Jeez. It's nice to be surprised by how innocuous something is compared to my imagination, instead of the other way.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:28 PM on June 26, 2013
Well, the older context of "parking" is "driving your car somewhere private and then parking there so you can make out/have sex in it". So it could be that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:30 AM on June 27, 2013
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:30 AM on June 27, 2013
there's also docking which the foreskin of one penis overlapping the head of another penis.
posted by nadawi at 6:42 AM on June 27, 2013
posted by nadawi at 6:42 AM on June 27, 2013
Noooo it's much more funny when you make people google to find out what it is.
posted by elizardbits at 6:47 AM on June 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:47 AM on June 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
you are absolutely right. i don't know what i was thinking.
posted by nadawi at 6:54 AM on June 27, 2013
posted by nadawi at 6:54 AM on June 27, 2013
%n: I might have been making a joke, eh?Misogynist jokes are always funny!
posted by IAmBroom at 10:22 AM on June 27, 2013
These ladies are the best.
posted by ColdChef
Thank you. Was beginning to think I was the only one.
I prefer the live, stripped down version, but this is still awesome.
In this case, I think it's just that it feels kind of low-hanging fruity
No doubt, but considering this ridiculous, low hanging fruit is still used and believed by many churches and their followers, it deserves to be mocked.
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
12 years private, catholic school, and though I had no experience with it (date? What's that?), definitely, without doubt, a thing.
Parody the institutions that create and control fearful, ignorant teenage girls, but I don't think the girls themselves are fair game for two grown women.
I pretty confident that teen girls realize the video is lampooning the institution and not the victims to this nonsense. You should probably give teen girls more credit.
posted by justgary at 5:22 PM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by ColdChef
Thank you. Was beginning to think I was the only one.
I prefer the live, stripped down version, but this is still awesome.
In this case, I think it's just that it feels kind of low-hanging fruity
No doubt, but considering this ridiculous, low hanging fruit is still used and believed by many churches and their followers, it deserves to be mocked.
Just a question here, I've heard of this for years, but is there any proof that there are people that really believe in the poophole loophole?
12 years private, catholic school, and though I had no experience with it (date? What's that?), definitely, without doubt, a thing.
Parody the institutions that create and control fearful, ignorant teenage girls, but I don't think the girls themselves are fair game for two grown women.
I pretty confident that teen girls realize the video is lampooning the institution and not the victims to this nonsense. You should probably give teen girls more credit.
posted by justgary at 5:22 PM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Finding loopholes in inconvenient religious rules has a long and storied tradition.
posted by ODiV at 8:05 AM on July 1, 2013
posted by ODiV at 8:05 AM on July 1, 2013
Just now came around to watching the video. My main complaint is that it's both not very funny and somewhat unexciting as a song - you can't be both at the same time, and G&O are usually neither.
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:20 AM on July 1, 2013
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:20 AM on July 1, 2013
I think I say without violating HIPAA that some doctors do (anecdotally) see a lot of teenage girls with STDs that start in the butt.
Because not only does it keep you a "virgin," if you can't get pregnant, why do you need a condom? And if a girl is to say "STDs, jock face," he can respond "what, you don't trust me?!" Which in many socioeconomic circles is...a pretty big insult to a young girl. Not trusting the guy she's with, in a twisted and sad way, reflects poorly on HER. And also can be used against her to suggest that maybe she thinks SHE might have an STD that she would be embarassed to pass on to HIM. Which would make her a slut.
posted by bilabial at 7:09 PM on July 1, 2013
Because not only does it keep you a "virgin," if you can't get pregnant, why do you need a condom? And if a girl is to say "STDs, jock face," he can respond "what, you don't trust me?!" Which in many socioeconomic circles is...a pretty big insult to a young girl. Not trusting the guy she's with, in a twisted and sad way, reflects poorly on HER. And also can be used against her to suggest that maybe she thinks SHE might have an STD that she would be embarassed to pass on to HIM. Which would make her a slut.
posted by bilabial at 7:09 PM on July 1, 2013
Also, re: docking. People will still google it and find videos of so many other things being docked.
Yes, that double entendre was very much intentional. You're welcome.
posted by bilabial at 7:11 PM on July 1, 2013
Yes, that double entendre was very much intentional. You're welcome.
posted by bilabial at 7:11 PM on July 1, 2013
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posted by ReeMonster at 4:29 AM on June 26, 2013 [2 favorites]