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PLEASE STOP THINKING ABOUT ZOMBIES
July 7, 2013 7:33 AM   Subscribe

100 Books that SHOULD be Written
posted by Artw (39 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
Huh?
posted by hwestiii at 7:46 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I'm also not getting this.
posted by Decani at 7:47 AM on July 7, 2013


I guess I'm fairly ignorant. I'm not getting the joke on a lot of these.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:48 AM on July 7, 2013


On the plus side, I just learned that it's possible to get a masters degree in branding.
posted by box at 7:51 AM on July 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


These are fantastic, but some of the cover art is hurting my eyes.

(And look at more of them if you're not getting them, you'll get some but not all.)
posted by insectosaurus at 7:51 AM on July 7, 2013


I think a lot of these aren't jokes. Some of them are jokes, others seem to be about people or things that the author thinks are underappreciated, or just people or things he thinks are cool.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:52 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love almost al of these covers. Clever titles, and design that I'd stop and look at in a bookstore. They are so good that I'm bummed when I don't get the reference, even if I still appreciate the cover.
posted by cccorlew at 7:53 AM on July 7, 2013


I especially enjoy this one.
posted by insectosaurus at 7:55 AM on July 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


These are clever twists. More Bill Bryson is always a good idea.
posted by BigJen at 8:05 AM on July 7, 2013


A lot of these are great. The Dalai Lama one is fantastic.
posted by nevercalm at 8:09 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Re: "Black Flies & Fiddleheads: A travel companion to the best and worst small towns in Ontario and all they have to offer to offer"

1. Fiddleheads are way more of a Maritimes thing.
2. The map on the cover omits like 90% of Ontario.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:11 AM on July 7, 2013


Some of them are jokes, some of them are aspirations, and some of them (and especially the earlier entries) are thinly veiled shots at things the tumblrmaster doesn't like.
posted by kewb at 8:16 AM on July 7, 2013


The Chris Ware one might number amongst those, but is possibly my favourite.
posted by Artw at 8:21 AM on July 7, 2013


The Phaidon one was mildly diverting. I assume this meant to part of his Master's portfolio or something.
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:21 AM on July 7, 2013


This seems extremely pretentious.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:38 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Frida Kahlo one might rub me the wrong way a little.
posted by box at 8:44 AM on July 7, 2013


"These books need to be written" could be a clever idea.

But "This person needs to write this book" is sanctimonious and obnoxious.

(Especially so if the nominated author is already dead. This guy does know that Hunter Thompson has gone to the great drugstore in the sky, doesn't he?)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:51 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd like to read, maybe even write, a zombie book where all the guys that fantasize about being in the zombie apocalypse so they can shoot people die of infections, bad water, and despair once they realize it's not "basically everything's the same as it is now only you don't have to work and there are lots of ex-people to murder for funzies."
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:54 AM on July 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I assume this meant to part of his Master's portfolio or something.

That seems like a fair assumption. These are mostly generic "look what I can do" book covers, and there doesn't seem to be much point beyond that.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:54 AM on July 7, 2013


This one. This one is great.
posted by parmanparman at 9:22 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


these are amazing, so well designed, often amusing, and v v. smart. (The Plath one and the Camus one are my favourites). Also, re:Munro, thats the only part of ontario that she fucking writes about.
posted by PinkMoose at 9:53 AM on July 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Martin I Will Kill Everyone You Love made guffaw
posted by angrycat at 10:17 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I laughed out loud at Are You There God? It's Me, Richard...Of Course Not.
posted by SisterHavana at 11:03 AM on July 7, 2013


I was skeptical initially, but some of these are excellent. If this guy actually wants to design book covers, his future seems all but assured. Some are jokey; others are sort of hopeful. The design is uniformly excellent.

Really liked the Bill Hicks one.
posted by Sokka shot first at 11:08 AM on July 7, 2013


The salt one is cool if he's saying "fuck this stupid pretentious yuppie salt fad."
posted by jonmc at 11:13 AM on July 7, 2013


Most of these were sort of meh but this one made me laugh:

Brian Grows Old in the Woods and Dies by Gary Paulsen.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2013


(Self-link) I've been doing something sorta kinda like this for the last few months...

Your Next YA Novel: "Want to write a YA masterpiece, but all your ideas are terrible? It's okay! Just use one of these."
posted by Ian A.T. at 11:50 AM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The salt one is cool if he's saying "fuck this stupid pretentious yuppie salt fad."

What neeeeds to happen—and I write with all the sanctimony and pretension I can muster—is that Pink needs to call her next album Salt so that the cover screams "Pink Salt."
posted by octobersurprise at 12:17 PM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Margaret Atwood: “It’s Speculative Fiction, Not Science Fiction"

HAHA!

Oh man, too many good ones.
posted by New England Cultist at 1:15 PM on July 7, 2013


Yes, we really need a book by Al Gore with the subtitle "Seriously, You Should Really Start Listening To Me..." And "Maybe It Was The Cocaine Talking" would finally self-discredit Freud, millions of minds would be put at ease by "Island Getaways & the Art of Early Retirement" by Amelia Earhart (maybe with a forward by D.B. Cooper?) and "Meditiations Post-Death" by Sylvia Plath... well, we need post-death books by literally hundreds of authors. But frankly, I'd prefer "It Is Happening" to be a written by Sinclair Lewis than Ray Kurzweil.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 1:40 PM on July 7, 2013


And "Maybe It Was The Cocaine Talking" would finally self-discredit Freud...

Cocaine in it's pure powdered form is not a particularly mind-altering drug, and had earlier been widely used within a medical context. Freud having been addicted to cocaine would not be a very good argument for discrediting his theories (speaking as a Jungian myself).
posted by New England Cultist at 2:01 PM on July 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


As a pretty good--but not brilliant--designer, these bum me out. They are all at least competent and most are great from a design perspective. The idea they might each be done in a day just makes me want to stick solely to coding.

I thought most were smart, as well.
posted by maxwelton at 2:14 PM on July 7, 2013


Cocaine in it's pure powdered form is not a particularly mind-altering drug and had earlier been widely used within a medical context. Freud having been addicted to cocaine would not be a very good argument for discrediting his theories (speaking as a Jungian myself).

Um, really? Speaking as someone who works around coke-addled musicians and road crews, one of whom walked out on stage and couldn't find the AUDIENCE.
posted by nevercalm at 3:26 PM on July 7, 2013


Sometimes glib, but nice design work.

Freud having been addicted to cocaine would not be a very good argument for discrediting his theories (speaking as a Jungian myself).

To his credit, Freud soon became disillusioned with his cocaine experiments, and as a result he was then skeptical of using simple pharmacological short-cuts in therapy, hence the talking-cure...

Margaret Atwood: “It’s Speculative Fiction, Not Science Fiction"

Atwood has already published this book recently: 'In Other Worlds: SF and the Human Imagination'. Worth reading if you want to quote her properly on the old SF/SF argument. I slightly prefer the mock sleeve to the real one... oh wait, the U.S. paperback version has a swell retro-Golden Age style cover..
posted by ovvl at 3:40 PM on July 7, 2013


Um, really? Speaking as someone who works around coke-addled musicians and road crews, one of whom walked out on stage and couldn't find the AUDIENCE.

Are you sure cocaine are the only things in their system?

I'm also speaking as someone who have been around cocaine (and other drug) users when I was younger. My experience has been that if you combine coke with a number of other drugs (MDMA, LSD, Cannabis), that's when the reality-altering begins to happen.


Atwood has already published this book recently: 'In Other Worlds: SF and the Human Imagination'.

Yea, I know about that. I find the title ridiculous, since she continuous to claim she does not write SF:

"...the differences — as she sees them — between "science fiction" proper and "speculative fiction..."

How proper. Poo poo.
posted by New England Cultist at 3:49 PM on July 7, 2013


The impossibility of cocaine fucking you up seems rather like the kind of overconfident belief that would be formed while on cocaine.
posted by Artw at 4:57 PM on July 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


The problem is that it's not obvious like when you're high on acid. You can function mostly. But if you speak with them for more than a couple minutes you can usually see the little things.

And you feel just ok enough that you're not afraid to walk into a roomful of people you've never met and talk about how it's not possible anyone makes a better omelette than you, and proceed to explain it at length and not notice that people are sort of slowly backing away.

Or what Artw said. Perfect.
posted by nevercalm at 5:11 PM on July 7, 2013


Freud having been addicted to cocaine would not be a very good argument for discrediting his theories (speaking as a Jungian myself).

Adler would have had something to say about high-functioning cocaine addicts too.

Irene Adler, that is.
posted by Segundus at 1:07 AM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please Stop Thinking About Zombies, good advice from Christine McVie:

Even when there's no room in hell
Hacks'll still have plenty zombies to sell
Jane Austen and good ol' honest Abe
Are turning over but they'll stay in their graves

Please stop thinking about the zombies
Please stop, or they'll soon be here
Each one is worse'n the one that came before
Leave it alone, leave it alone

Don't send 'em a nickel, don't spend a dime
Don't you contributed to this pop culture crime
Try to get that zombie stuff out of your head
Or tomorrow it's Shakespeare's Mid-Summer-Night's Dead

Please stop thinking about the zombies
Please stop, or they'll soon be here
Each one is worse'n the one that came before
Leave it alone, woncha leave it alone

[instrumental break]

All they want is to eat your spleen
With chianti and some fava beans
If you won't buy this junk, they'll have nothing to sell
And while you're at it, stuff the Hobbits as well!

Oooo, leave it alone,
Oooo, leave it alone. . .
 
posted by Herodios at 12:11 PM on July 8, 2013


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