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Ebay just gets weirder and weirder
December 11, 2001 3:00 AM   Subscribe

Ebay just gets weirder and weirder Going cheap, at only a fiver! Bargain, eh?
posted by metaxa (30 comments total)

 
1 of yet another new Vaginal Speculum. My best seller by far.

One more from my collection of new Vaginal Specula? Yet another new Vaginal Speculum from me? One of yet more best-selling Vaginal Specula? What is wrong with this guy?
Also, how can he prove it's new? Where's the shrink-wrapped, still in original box bit? What would anyone want one for? Opening figs? Picking out lobster tail meat? The mind boggles.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:28 AM on December 11, 2001


What would anyone want one for?

You think a street doctor can get access to this stuff, let alone afford the retail price? The guy that stiches up mobsters and performs secret abortions needs his gear.

Considering the current bidder is anonymous, I'm sure this thing is headed straight for some blackmarket work or at least some BDSM stuff.
posted by skallas at 3:54 AM on December 11, 2001


eww.. reminds me of Dead Ringers.
posted by jiroczech at 4:10 AM on December 11, 2001


Miguel - you apparently have a very limited imagination. These things are very big in the B&D scene.

The weirdest part is how cheap it is. He is selling it for less than half the retail cost.

Makes you wonder...
posted by Irontom at 4:21 AM on December 11, 2001


Stockroom has specula selling for $19.00. Looking at past auctions on Ebay shows them selling at five pounds and up, depending on type, size, condition, etc. Some were quite expensive.

I learned long ago that there is very little in a medical catalog or even in a Sears catalog that somebody, somewhere can't think up a sexual use for.
posted by faceonmars at 4:42 AM on December 11, 2001


You can get one of those goose statuettes for the garden, knock it's block off and strap the speculum on it. That's the reason I got my speculum, anyway.
You can also chase girls around, clapping it at them. They really hate that.
posted by Su at 4:49 AM on December 11, 2001


call me naive but what's B&D?
and personally, i wouldn't buy one if not properly packaged.
yuckies
posted by sadie01221975 at 4:49 AM on December 11, 2001


Vaginal Speculum

Great name for a band.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:57 AM on December 11, 2001


Bondage and Discipline ... closely related to SadoMasochism (S&M or SM)
posted by Irontom at 4:57 AM on December 11, 2001


You can also chase girls around, clapping it at them. They really hate that

Class.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:00 AM on December 11, 2001


Sadie : Read the FAQ.
posted by XiBe at 5:01 AM on December 11, 2001


wouldn't one use such a device for the act of 'speculating' ?
posted by sawks at 5:03 AM on December 11, 2001


Having endured periodic medical encounters with vaginal specula, I am boggled that anyone would regard these instruments as "genital toys."
posted by Carol Anne at 5:03 AM on December 11, 2001


Looking at this seller's other current auctions, we see he's got a couple more vaginal speculums (specula?), a dental mouth gage ("Item will be steam sterilized berfore dispatch"), and a pack of surgical scissors. Now, I know that speculums are used in the B&D scene...but something called a "Disecting Mosquito Scissor" seems far far far from kinky. But maybe that's just me.
posted by tpl1212 at 5:06 AM on December 11, 2001


ty everyone, imho i'm thoroughly yucked out
posted by sadie01221975 at 5:23 AM on December 11, 2001


more yummy ebay goodness!
posted by quonsar at 5:34 AM on December 11, 2001


Hey, let's not forget the grand old feminist tradition of using a speculum and a mirror to understand your vaginal innards a little better. It wasn't that long ago that mothers didn't so much as whisper to their daughters anything having to do with "down there" and the speculum became a vehicle for sexual self-awareness.

As far as BDSM goes, medical scenes are pretty popular among some folks and by their standards a speculum is considered pretty tame.
posted by debrahyde at 6:45 AM on December 11, 2001


um. I'll go out on a limb here and ask, "why if this a FPP?"
posted by mcsweetie at 6:49 AM on December 11, 2001


metatalk
posted by mlang at 7:55 AM on December 11, 2001


Selling, or purchasing a speculum isn't really strange, or out of the ordinary for that matter. I've known a number of women who had them for their personal use. You can buy plastic ones at toys in babeland, i believe. I would double check, but I am at work right now.
Some people embrace their anatomy rather than get yucked out by it.
posted by disaster at 8:02 AM on December 11, 2001


The seller is having much more success now that he's stopped titling it "Vaginal Speculum (Old, Used)."
posted by Skot at 8:11 AM on December 11, 2001


Man! That is hot and sexy!

It'll go great with my catheter. Don't think I'll be leaving the house this weekend!
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:40 AM on December 11, 2001


I'm with sadie - unfortunate choice of name for this thread, bound to attract our resident sickos - and guess this is just for some "adult" version of playing doctors, with extra peering or something. Like Carol Anne and, oh, about 99,9% of the population, I'd say the world contains enough things to play with without having to bring in specula.
I was reminded of those baroque, evil-looking instruments H.R.Giger or someone invented for Cronenberg's "Dead Ringers". Now, those were nasty...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:54 AM on December 11, 2001


my school's yearbook is titled "Specula"
posted by cheesebot at 10:01 AM on December 11, 2001


What would anyone want one for?

I have one. They gave me one at the clinic when I went in for an annual exam. They are [or were] illegal to own for personal use in the state of Washington because you can use it as one part of a do-it-yourself abortion kit. My doctor gave me one with a wink and said "use it in good health, comrade" I just keep it in the bathroom to inspire conversation.
posted by jessamyn at 11:06 AM on December 11, 2001 [1 favorite]


clapping a speculum at someone is one of the funniest things I've ever read. also not the thing i want to explain to my coworkers what i'm laughing about.
posted by jyoung at 11:45 AM on December 11, 2001


All this "clapping a speculum" talk reminds me of this episode of Friends where Ross picks up a speculum and makes quacking noises with it to his ex-wife. (scroll about 3/4 way down to see the actual reference)
posted by melissa at 12:45 PM on December 11, 2001


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHH

deep breath

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHH.

ok, i feel better now.
posted by sugarfish at 1:03 PM on December 11, 2001


Vaginal Speculum
Great name for a band.

-Stavros

I can go better. There's a noise(surprise) group called Speculum Frenzy.
posted by Su at 2:49 PM on December 11, 2001


Illegal to own a speculum? That's crazy.
posted by sudama at 1:30 PM on December 18, 2001


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