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"The Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator is not a toy, Alyx!"
August 9, 2013 6:15 PM   Subscribe

‪The Gravity Gun‬. Behold the birth of the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator. [SLV, Via]
posted by homunculus (29 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
It runs on Xen crystals? Is that a thing?
posted by Artw at 6:20 PM on August 9, 2013


Possibly and yes.
posted by homunculus at 6:24 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Claw!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:34 PM on August 9, 2013


The physics were more realistic than in The Wolverine. So, dirty girl, cartoon dad?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:45 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Morgan Freeman was busy adding gravitas to terrible Tom Cruise movies.
posted by Artw at 6:58 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


By the way, how does she get down from there?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:22 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Her cohorts construct a large makeshift seesaw weighted down on one end with cinder blocks and propane tanks.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:26 PM on August 9, 2013 [21 favorites]


I can't help but think this is more amazing because I know it didn't cost that much to make. But if it were in a blockbuster Id be like whatever.
posted by Halogenhat at 7:31 PM on August 9, 2013


I'm glad they expanded on the original idea, because "the gravy gun" would have been a little too slapstick. But on the other hand useful, if the other guys are firing potato cannons.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:34 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


It runs on Xen crystals? Is that a thing?

The trouble is you have to running in the Dom0 instance to fire the thing. If you're in DomU you can't even detect that it exists.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:38 PM on August 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


Introduced my 4 yr old to the Incredibles just this evening I did I did.
posted by Give my rear guards to fraudway at 7:42 PM on August 9, 2013


But like for a signficant chunk I was like, "Come on, Alyx, can we maybe move with a sense of urgency? Like a little?"
posted by kbanas at 8:32 PM on August 9, 2013


Please stop leaving your industrial size saw blades lying around in culverts. Someone could get really hurt.
posted by Brocktoon at 8:55 PM on August 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I predict they'll remain scarce. Any building contractor would *kill* to get hands on one of those!
posted by Twang at 9:11 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Come on, Alyx, can we maybe move with a sense of urgency? Like a little?"

Amen to this. I mean, it makes sense that they want to build up the moment when the gun starts to work correctly & stuff, but enough with the Coke bottle on a string already!

That being said, I marked out when she found the saw blade and gave that dude a taste of bisectuality.
posted by ShutterBun at 9:50 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think that if I were the Valve management/creators/higher-ups, by this point in time I would have stopped feeling honoured that people really liked like the entire Half Life mythos that I'd created, and instead feel, well, embarrassed. Ashamed, even.
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:25 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


enough with the Coke bottle on a string already!

She didn't know you're supposed to pick up that can.
posted by Foosnark at 10:26 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


"I'm gonna be right here, headed north at 110 per"

::Go greased lightning::
posted by humboldt32 at 1:11 AM on August 10, 2013


The Combine Troopers ragdolling upon death is a nice touch.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:39 AM on August 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's been so effing long between releases that I no longer believe Half-Life 2 really exists. I believe that I longed for such an amazing game that I invented it, and all these amazing homebrew movies are just my mind continually kicking at the stall of my skull in frustration.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:29 AM on August 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


In my dreams, Valve spring Half Life 3 on us tomorrow, and it is so amazing I even forgive Newell. Yes, that amazing. Ah, my dreams. Why do you torment me so?
posted by Decani at 5:27 AM on August 10, 2013


I just had the asinine thought after watching this of "Wow, they should totally make a movie out of half-life!" and then promptly realized I was probably literally the last gamer on Earth who had had that thought. Derp.
posted by NoRelation at 10:39 AM on August 10, 2013


I am the Freeman
posted by homunculus at 10:54 AM on August 10, 2013


THIS IS SO FREAKING COOL!
posted by Our Ship Of The Imagination! at 10:55 AM on August 10, 2013


The frustrating thing is that we have all already played 66% of Half Life 3. We just need some fucking closure, you know? It's like if this was Empire and Princess Leia is like I love you and Han Solo is like I know man and then OH NO HE'S FROZEN IN CARBONITE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT and then the screen cuts to black and the credits roll and George Lucas tells you to fuck off for 6 years while he figures it out.

Gabe Newell is opposite polarity George Lucas.
posted by tracert at 11:29 AM on August 10, 2013


Gabe can take all the time he needs to get it right. That gives me something to look forward to in the retirement home.
posted by homunculus at 11:53 AM on August 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Come on, Alyx, can we maybe move with a sense of urgency? Like a little?"

No, no, in this module the game mechanics call for slow, careful movement. Besides, if one or two of the NPCs get killed, there'll just be more showing up in the next module.
posted by dhartung at 2:06 PM on August 10, 2013


Half-Life 2 Voice Actor Says Half-Life 3 Isn't Being Worked On
posted by homunculus at 2:42 PM on August 15, 2013


Well if Various Citizens/Misc. Voices says so...
posted by Artw at 2:48 PM on August 15, 2013


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