Martin Manley: My Life and Death
August 16, 2013 8:11 AM   Subscribe

Today is August 15, 2013. Today is my 60th birthday. Today is the last day of my life. Today, I committed suicide. Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come.
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics (58 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
The link's borked, at least in my case. This one works for me.
posted by orange swan at 8:19 AM on August 16, 2013


Site's borked already. I got two pages in before it 999'd.

Most suicides happen in July and August, not during the holidays.
posted by mochapickle at 8:19 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


i was able to see the first page but now it seems borked?
posted by nadawi at 8:19 AM on August 16, 2013


The link worked for me, I'm reading the page right now.
posted by lakersfan1222 at 8:19 AM on August 16, 2013


As much as I loved Godfather’s pizza, I simply couldn’t justify it because it was so expensive. Most pizza places have really cheap pizzas that you can get for a nickel and a dime, but almost all of them are crap compared to GF. Having said that, even crap pizza is a lot better than most things. Still, I always yearn for GFs.

I've never had Godfather's Pizza! I am intrigued.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:20 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Do we have external confirmation?
So, I created MartinManleyLifeAndDeath.com which is prepaid for five years, as is SportsInReview.com. Whether it gets extended beyond that is up to others. Five years is as long as Yahoo would let me pay in advance.
NetSol has 100 for 999.00 year payments; DreamHost would have let him prepaid 100 years worth of hosting, I expect, they've always been that flexible.

Can't help but wonder why, even with the few pages I could read before it went down. Control of his own death seems - out there. I'm a control freak, but, seriously?
posted by tilde at 8:20 AM on August 16, 2013


Oh yeah, totally borked.
posted by lakersfan1222 at 8:20 AM on August 16, 2013


Linked worked for me initially, now it's borked.
posted by inertia at 8:20 AM on August 16, 2013


Other sites say he went through with it at the local PD.
posted by mochapickle at 8:21 AM on August 16, 2013


[Swapped in coral cache.]
posted by cortex at 8:47 AM on August 16, 2013


There is a bit of explanation here. Apparently there is also... treasure?
posted by louche mustachio at 8:50 AM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Is it this guy?
posted by dfriedman at 8:53 AM on August 16, 2013


Fairly extensive Reddit thread with numerous mirrors. Looks like the buried treasure angle has been debunked.
posted by SharkParty at 8:55 AM on August 16, 2013


...or maybe they just want us to think that!!! GET MY SHOVEL AND FIRE UP THE BUICK!!
posted by SharkParty at 8:57 AM on August 16, 2013


.
posted by Nelson at 8:58 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Apparently he lived in the KC area and has some things to say about Overland Park

All the benefits of Johnson County simply come as a result of that discretionary income.

If I had to die - and we all do, I can’t think of a better place to do it!


I disagree...
posted by hellojed at 8:59 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is it this guy?

That man was born on a different date in a different year and was probably too busy running Alibris for much of the last fifteen years to do semi-retired sports stats blogging. I'm gonna say it's probably not that guy, no.
posted by cortex at 9:01 AM on August 16, 2013


Ah, the vanity suicide. It's not very common, but it happens.
posted by gertzedek at 9:07 AM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]


I've never had Godfather's Pizza! I am intrigued. - Greg Nog

I can vouch for the absolute heaven that is Godfather's Pizza. It's a chain, much like Pizza Hut, but with much better quality ingredients. Their 'original' style crust is thick, chewy and doughy and is just fantastic.

It is also the most expensive pizza place in my area. For example - a medium supreme pizza will set you back about $17.
posted by BrianJ at 9:16 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow, I used to manage the Godfather's Pizza at 103rd and Stateline right around '78/'79.
posted by DaddyNewt at 9:18 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


there must be some regional differences with godfathers. 'round my parts it was the shittiest pizza in town - right around showbiz/cici's level - but you could watch cartoons and there was a salad bar. Greg Nog is gonna think i lied to him in a memail with all your "it's delicious!" reviews.
posted by nadawi at 9:20 AM on August 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


Well, from what I've read so far on the site, it sounds like he was starting to feel the effects of some kind of dementia (probably Alzheimer's, but I know there's other kinds of dementia). Which, yeah, I can see wanting to avoid that. I believe this is why Terry Pratchett is planning on taking his own life at some point as well.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:22 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Control of his own death seems - out there. I'm a control freak, but, seriously?

Let's say I told you that over the next year your mental faculties would deteriorate to the point that in six months you would be unable to care for yourself and at the end of twelve you would have no recognition of friends or family, and that for ten years after that you would be warehoused in an extended care facility as your body slowly deteriorated while you (as much as it could be said that it was still "you") lived in an endless fog.

Would you give some thought to cutting things short? And remember, in six months (more likely three or four) suicide is off the table for logistical reasons.

This happens. I've seen the quick deterioration in two different family friends. In one case it crept up on him but in the other case two doctors told the guy precisely what I wrote above. He let his window for suicide slip by and deeply regretted it for as long as his identity endured.

And as I said this took the other family friend unawares. In his mid-sixties.

Statistically speaking though I think this guy is going too early. But were he in his eighties I would be standing up and cheering and pointing big arrows that said "Hey look! Death With Dignity over here!"
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:27 AM on August 16, 2013 [29 favorites]


Strange when a local makes waves like this. I can think of better places in my opinion to die than JoCo, but I can also think of many, many worse places.

.
posted by maus at 9:29 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


nadawi, no worries! I'm guessing now that there must be regional differences. Either that or my standard for delicious pizza is REALLY low.
posted by BrianJ at 9:35 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


In the Suicide Preface section, he says he had no health issues that influenced his decision, but the Why Suicide section describes his memory failing to the point that he couldn't remember his own home address. Diagnosed or not, that does seem to qualify as a pretty hefty contributing health factor (and rather unusual for a 60-year-old).
posted by BurntHombre at 9:36 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Everything on this site screams "I am a narcissist!".
posted by jfricke at 9:37 AM on August 16, 2013 [6 favorites]


But that's what I'm saying, maus. I'm all for choice; but in his case he states that there were no medical (diagnosed) issues involved. I just can't fathom, even with my own experiences of depression, tidying things up and saying "Okay, I'm done, here's the website."

He did this, as he says, " I wanted to leave on top. " - before that even started to set in.

I dunno. Just ... I don't get it and maybe it's good that I don't.

As a means to start a dialogue, well, he did a heckuva job.


.... on reading further, I do see what I didn't before it crashed and this thread disappeared - he had started to see some dementia. What he describes is similar to issues I have at my younger age but have also always had. So if not "at the top" at least close.
posted by tilde at 9:46 AM on August 16, 2013


I've never had Godfather's Pizza! I am intrigued.
No, no you're not. Not in the Twin Cities anyway.And at the Green Mill, we were always more expensive than them, too.

posted by wenestvedt at 9:59 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


The reading miscomprehension is strong with me today, maus I meant Tell Me No Lies.
posted by tilde at 10:02 AM on August 16, 2013


He may try and justify this as some groundbreaking moral and historical trailblazing adventure, but he's still a complete and total shitbag for doing it.
posted by nerdler at 10:07 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


jfricke: "Everything on this site screams "I am a narcissist!"."

Suicide is often seen as a shameful act and there is a connection between narcissism and shame, narcissism is a defense against shame.
posted by stbalbach at 10:09 AM on August 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'd like to think I'd do the same if I felt the onset of dementia as Manley seems to have. I'm pretty sure I'd forego the public hoopla of a website like that, but I've seen more than enough elderly people ravaged by dementia and Alzheimer's to know I'd want to spare my loved ones the pain of caring for me when I'm not even really "there" any more.
posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 10:18 AM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


This sounds like more than just the signs of aging to me:
I began seeing the problems that come with aging some time ago. I was sick of leaving the garage door open overnight. I was sick of forgetting to zip up when I put on my pants. I was sick of forgetting the names of my best friends. I was sick of going downstairs and having no idea why. I was sick of watching a movie, going to my account on IMDB to type up a review and realizing I've already seen it and, worse, already written a review! I was sick of having to dig through the trash to find an envelope that was sent to me so I could remember my own address - especially since I lived in the same place for the last nine years!
Also, he owned a pyramid of fedoras.
posted by jokeefe at 10:27 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


After skimming a little...

I'm not really sure why it's narcissism to talk about yourself on the occasion of your death, making sure that the lessons and experiences you believe most important are said.

As long as they Manley didn't kill themselves for the purpose of making this heard, I really don't see this as a bad thing at all. I know I appreciate it. I'd like to live in a world where everyone did this.
posted by tychotesla at 10:27 AM on August 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


I grew up in "Shawnee Mission", and go back to JoCo every so often. It's all he says it is. It is also really boring...

And hot and humid.
posted by Windopaene at 10:41 AM on August 16, 2013


I have never gotten the "suicide is selfish" thing. Yes, if anyone cares for you, they will suffer grief. If they depend upon you (like a kid) then suicide may put their well-being in jeopardy, as well as be traumatizing.

But otherwise, is it imperative that I value the possible grief of others over my own wishes for my life, forever? Where is the cutoff...when they decide it's ok for me to die? It's a profoundly strange attitude. Our loved ones do not own us.

I don't know this guy's story, but on his site he does say that his money can now be used to help others instead of paying for old-age care. Is that selfish, or selfless?
posted by emjaybee at 10:45 AM on August 16, 2013 [22 favorites]


On my deathblog I will yearn for J.D. Doublecrust.
posted by octobersurprise at 10:46 AM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Isn't Godfather's the pizza chain run by Herman Cain?
posted by Chrysostom at 10:51 AM on August 16, 2013


I owned two 22-gauge pistols, but both had mechanical problems. Even if they worked, would a 22 kill me? Very possibly not. So, that meant a higher caliber pistol. I was about to go out and buy one, but coincidentally, one fell into my lap about six weeks before I needed it. I took it out and practiced to make sure I had it figured out... the rest is history.

I mean what? A high caliber pistol "fell into his lap"? That's an intriguing story on its own.

Regarding dementia - his reasons seem unrelated to that. In the suicide preface, it seems he just wanted control of when and how he died.

So, the major reasons adults commit suicide – health, legal, financial, loss of loved ones, loneliness or depression… none of those issues are relevant to me and, for the most part of my life, have never been.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:51 AM on August 16, 2013


> I mean what? A high caliber pistol "fell into his lap"? That's an intriguing story on its own.

This is America. We keep our heads down when we walk so as not to stub our toes on high-caliber pistols.
posted by gilrain at 11:05 AM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Kansas City Star article. Includes a paragraph about the family saying he'd gotten rid of the items that were supposedly buried treasure. (Which reflexively makes me think they may have scooped them up and claimed this to avoid inheritance tax issues.)
posted by aught at 11:37 AM on August 16, 2013


I mean what? A high caliber pistol "fell into his lap"? That's an intriguing story on its own.
This is America. We keep our heads down when we walk so as not to stub our toes on high-caliber pistols


When we sit we look up a lot too, as sometimes they come from that direction. Friend of mine got conked by a Desert Eagle the other day, he still has a headache.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:40 PM on August 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Someone on a higher floor must have been emptying out the pistol spittoon.
posted by gilrain at 12:47 PM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


aught: "Includes a paragraph about the family saying he'd gotten rid of the items that were supposedly buried treasure."

Yeah on the one hand I would have guessed that if it was a hoax, his real intention for listing the coordinates was so that a bunch of people would end up paying the entrance fee, and thereby him leaving a bit of a gift for the arboretum. On the other hand, dozens of people with shovels... maybe not so good for the park.
posted by danny the boy at 1:11 PM on August 16, 2013


jfricke: "Everything on this site screams "I am a narcissist!"."

Well if you read his notes, they are all about his need for agency above all else, and the inevitable loss of it. He lived how he wanted to, and wanted to make sure he died how he wanted to.

So I'm fairly certain he would not have cared that some random guy on the internet thinks he's a narcissist.
posted by danny the boy at 1:23 PM on August 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yeah, narcissism, not so sure. Dude lost 27 lbs this year, so that he wouldn't be overweight when he died, to maximize the chances of his being able to posthumously donate a kidney.

Guess you could argue that he was ultimately thinking of himself there somehow, but it seems an unneeded diagnosis to me.
posted by hap_hazard at 2:14 PM on August 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


OMG, the kidney. You know, it's not hard to find a specific someone who needs a kidney. My brother's one of them. The cutoff for most donation programs is 65. He had five more years to give.

I wish he had known to hold on.
posted by mochapickle at 2:51 PM on August 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Strangely, Martin was not the only man to end his life in a police station parking lot yesterday.
posted by twjordan at 3:08 PM on August 16, 2013


I'm not connecting with the random hate on this guy. How is this any different or more narcissistic than nearly *any* blog or Facebook account? Dude went out on his own terms, so props there. If he was any type of functioning member of society, than he certainly had some amount of loved ones out there who probably have a whole hell of a lot of questions, so he at least had the courtesy of leaving behind a not-vauge note for all to see who cared to ask. Shit, if the one suicide I had to deal with in my life had left behind something like this instead of a hastily scrawled out FTM (fuck the masquerade), I wouldn't still be scratching my head almost 10 years later about why my friend did what they did. I applaud his gesture.
posted by NoRelation at 4:14 PM on August 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


there must be some regional differences with godfathers. 'round my parts it was the shittiest pizza in town

if you had a chuck e cheese's in town, it certainly wasn't
posted by pyramid termite at 6:25 PM on August 16, 2013


yeah - when i said showbiz - i meant chuck e cheese/showbiz - in my town they were both, alternating back and forth, for years. it was basically the same level of shit pizza.
posted by nadawi at 7:05 PM on August 16, 2013


Godfather's is where we (marching band) went after football games in high school. It's not that great ... This was the late 1980s. I don't recall that it was expensive either. It's downright odd to think of their pizza as expensive and high quality, at least for me.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:56 PM on August 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't see his action as narcissistic or selfish. It seems that he really thought things through and anticipated most of the issues that would arise, and addressed them. The saddest thing I found was that he had to use a gun which is not necessarily reliable and does leave behind a mess for someone to deal with. But he thought that through as well and rather than sticking some poor hotel staff with the aftermath, he arranged to be found by professionals who would have the training and resources to deal with the situation

What I find sad is that he was not able to end his life in a way that would have been easier and less potentially painful. Why can't we choose when our life ends?

I have watched my grandmother, two cousins, my mother and my best friend's mother go through the horrible indignity of dementia at the end of their lives. My mother is still alive, she is well cared for and smiles when she sees me or my brother and his sons. But she has told me on a number of occasions that she is done. She and I discussed end of life issues thoroughly before she became ill and we agreed that living with dementia isn't any kind of living. We have a DNR order for her as she wished. However, she took excellent care of herself and comes from a long lived family and is physically very healthy so who knows how long she'll have to go on being warehoused in the care facility. I cared for her at home for 6 years and now she's been there for almost a year--it is a very nice facility, but it is not home. And, my bright, curious mom can't remember what she had for lunch let alone pay attention to all the things that she cared about before.

I have an interesting job, wonderful friends and family. But if I were as brave as this man, I would like to choose when my life ends and not let circumstance dictate when it will. I agree with him that I would rather see my money go to my nephews and the charities I support rather than go to the maintenance of my slowly decaying carcass.

It is barbaric to prolong "life" when it isn't worth living. His was a highly civilized choice and his careful documentation of his thoughtful decision to end his well-lived life should be exhibit 1 in the argument for assisted suicide.
posted by agatha_magatha at 10:39 PM on August 16, 2013 [17 favorites]


Everything on this site screams "I am a narcissist!".

What else would one expect from the "Me" generation?
posted by readyfreddy at 12:30 AM on August 17, 2013


Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come.

Yahoo has reneged on their hosting agreement with Mr. Manley and removed his website from their servers: "After careful review, our team determined that this site violated our Terms of Service and we took it down."

Why anyone would trust Yahoo with anything important is beyond me. (See Geocities).

Here is a mirror at http://zeroshare.info/.
posted by troll at 1:57 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Honestly that seems barbaric on Yahoo!'s part. Everyone should be able to write their own eulogy, and if it's multi-media so much the better.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:27 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


There is another mirror hosted by Anonymous at martinmanley.org. The lead in page has links for suicide hotlines and such.
posted by tilde at 7:45 AM on August 19, 2013


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