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The cake may be a lie, but the box is truth.
August 30, 2013 12:51 PM   Subscribe

Has there ever been a more ludicrous yet beloved video game device than Metal Gear Solid's infamous Cardboard Box. Fans have written detailed histories of the box. It has its own Facebook page. In the real world, it has even been known to actually work. But it's just so much more fun to laugh at it.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (25 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
A cardboard box?

...

I must be seeing things.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:52 PM on August 30, 2013


Just a box.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:56 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Snake, what are you doing?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:57 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


?
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 12:58 PM on August 30, 2013


!
posted by b1tr0t at 1:04 PM on August 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


Explain Like I'm Five...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:18 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


No place for Hideo :(
posted by emmtee at 1:20 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also useful while hunting monsters.
posted by emmtee at 1:24 PM on August 30, 2013


Ludicrous? Snake can create duplicates of himself with that box, or transmogrify himself into a velociraptor, or travel through time. It's the ultimate weapon!
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:39 PM on August 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wow, when was the last time ytmnd was in a fpp?
posted by Wolfdog at 1:58 PM on August 30, 2013


Also useful while...
posted by homunculus at 2:29 PM on August 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


You whippersnappers obviously don't remember the pack of smokes from the original Metal Gear.
posted by infinitewindow at 2:40 PM on August 30, 2013


Just a box.

My roommate and I still say this whenever we find an empty box laying around.
posted by LionIndex at 2:44 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also useful while...

That was goddamn brilliant. Also French.
posted by middleclasstool at 2:48 PM on August 30, 2013


Even Lego Lord of the Rings had an homage to the cardboard box.
posted by evilangela at 2:52 PM on August 30, 2013


If anybody has any good ideas for one of those eponysterical dealies, I'm all ears.
posted by box at 3:19 PM on August 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Saints Row 4 has a section parodying MGS including shooting out lights ("why waste two bullets on lights instead of using one on the guard?"), ducking through air ducts and of course hiding in cardboard boxes.
posted by Blue Meanie at 3:28 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was surprised to see an oversized box without the Amazon.com logo on it. Has Snake ever given away his location by popping the bubble wrap?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:34 PM on August 30, 2013


homunculus: "Also useful while... "

That's pretty great. Also worth watching from the beginning.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 7:21 PM on August 30, 2013


Previously.
posted by homunculus at 7:55 PM on August 30, 2013


Just in case you wanted to see Snake holding a dildo...
posted by GoingToShopping at 10:51 PM on August 30, 2013


The box is one of my favorite things about the Metal Gear series, because it's a great example of how the game tries to get you to use your wits, or at least represent your character doing so, instead of gunning through. Cardboard boxes are everywhere, even in the most evil of world-threatening organizations, so people don't think about them. If you can bring yourself to think about them, to see that the empty room contains a box in the corner, that is quite an advantage.

Saints Row 4 has a section parodying MGS including shooting out lights ("why waste two bullets on lights instead of using one on the guard?")

You use two bullets on the lights instead of one on the guard because:
- Lights will go out quickly and immediately if pierced (and what kind of light takes two shots?), while humans have many systems unnecessary for life you might hit.
- Lights don't make it their business to do something about you if you miss.
- Lights stay still, humans move.
- And, of course, property damage is very much a lesser charge than murder.
posted by JHarris at 10:58 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


As mentioned in that history of the box link, Solid's box antics have nothing on the original and his surprisingly functional (and... intimate) two-person cardboard tank.
posted by emmtee at 1:18 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


Tip if you want to find nerds: set your text message alert to the MGS alert noise, see who reacts when you get a message.

!

Or just look in the mirror.
posted by dismas at 6:09 AM on August 31, 2013


I'm surprised no one's yet said UH-OH! THE TRUCK HAVE STARTED TO MOVE!

The cardboard box was an item in the original MSX Metal Gear, and it was in the Famicom/NES version too.
posted by JHarris at 11:58 AM on August 31, 2013


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