A Thousand Years In 3 Minutes
September 23, 2013 1:34 PM   Subscribe

 
I think this was posted earlier, but its no less awesome now!
posted by cacofonie at 1:41 PM on September 23, 2013


It's like I'm watching my ancient Mac play Risk against itself!
posted by not_on_display at 1:42 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


no wonder Germany was always so pissed off.
posted by Gungho at 1:45 PM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


That doesn't resemble a flan in the cupboard in the least.
posted by griphus at 1:50 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Just a pedantic note about the title, it seems to start at 1142. In case you were hoping to see a bit of pre-Conquest Britain or something.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:50 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Watch the political borders of Europe shift, expand, and disappear from 1000 AD to today

Do I have to, I mean I have to go to work in a few minutes, I don't know if can spare a number of centuries.
posted by JHarris at 1:52 PM on September 23, 2013


I'd like to see Asia and more of Africa in this.
posted by Karmakaze at 1:55 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's all messed up after WW2. Germany apparently didn't lose the war until the 60s...
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 1:57 PM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Tip: watch it on mute, or very low volume - horrific music /shudder>
posted by VikingSword at 1:58 PM on September 23, 2013


Ok, this may be the best FPP ever. (Didn't see it previously.)
posted by Melismata at 2:00 PM on September 23, 2013


I'd like to see Asia and more of Africa in this.

Or Finland, even.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:06 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh, hey, if you put the Konami code in on the website, the video keeps playing until 2099 when the Aztec Empire makes it to Alpha Centauri.
posted by griphus at 2:07 PM on September 23, 2013 [15 favorites]


If you get dizzy, just look at Spain.
posted by Mister_A at 2:16 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh, hey, if you put the Konami code in on the website, the video keeps playing until 2099 when the Aztec Empire makes it to Alpha Centauri.

Did not....
posted by mrgroweler at 2:16 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think the clock is a couple of years in front. WW1 and WW2 are out of sync....
posted by RobHoi at 2:17 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


It is interesting how quickly the Nazi empire comes and goes.
posted by zzazazz at 2:21 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah Napolean, for all the hype, didn't do much either.
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:31 PM on September 23, 2013


Looking at the video, I get the impression that Poland and Hungary have been Europe's giant shock absorbers, continually meeting and pushing back the latest tide from the east. The Russians (twice), the Mongols, the Ottomans, etc...

And when The Holy Roman Empire fell, it really left a mess. Didn't get cleaned up until the 19th century.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:33 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also remember, France Is The Stable One.
posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


It is interesting how quickly the Nazi empire comes and goes.

I noticed that closer you come to the modern day -- really, once you get past the 17th century in a lot of places -- how short-lived the big blowups are. There's a wash of color and then it recedes. It's like the existing countries develop some inertia.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 2:38 PM on September 23, 2013


Just wait until Scottish Independence. You think they'll stop there? Genghis Khan was an amateur. Hope your grandchildren like deep fried Mars bars. (Haggis is for tourists.)
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:39 PM on September 23, 2013 [13 favorites]


Some of that boundary movement wasn't due to war. But daaaaamn, we did a lot of that.
posted by Slackermagee at 2:41 PM on September 23, 2013


...and now that I mention the 17th century, I'll bet that's a clue. Imperialism and colonialism offer an outlet to the expansionist conquering tendency to take another man's country and make it your own. The later short-lived blowups (Napoleon, Hitler, etc.) are attempts to do imperial colonization on the European continent.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 2:43 PM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


I for one, welcome our Scottish overlords.

( adjusts tartan tie, opens can of Innis And Gunn )
posted by The Whelk at 2:45 PM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


I suspect my hypothetical grandchildren would like deep fried Mars Bars very much. Probably more than is good for them.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:48 PM on September 23, 2013


FYI, the original of this is Centennia Historical Atlas, downloadable here. I'm guessing that whoever posted the linked YouTube grafted the timeline onto it, which is why it is not in sync datewise, as noted above. With the software you can zoom in on any region, slow it down, get annotations, etc. The Atlas for 1789-1819 can be downloadable for free. It's 59 bucks to activate the video map feature for the full 1000 years.
posted by beagle at 3:00 PM on September 23, 2013 [10 favorites]


Philosopher Dirtbike: "It's all messed up after WW2. Germany apparently didn't lose the war until the 60s..."

Napoleon's conquests are also kind of halfheartedly depicted.
posted by Blasdelb at 3:07 PM on September 23, 2013


Just wait until Scottish Independence. You think they'll stop there? Genghis Khan was an amateur. Hope your grandchildren like deep fried Mars bars.

George_Spiggott, I read that in the voice of Peter Capaldi.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 3:12 PM on September 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Just wait until Scottish Independence. You think they'll stop there? Genghis Khan was an amateur. Hope your grandchildren like deep fried Mars bars.

I have this mental image of Scotland taking over all of Eurasia, bit by bit, piece by piece, until the mighty Scottish flag flies over every square inch... except England. Just on general principles.
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:20 PM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


For extra dizzies, just try to keep your eye on the Electoral Palatinate.
posted by thivaia at 3:23 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Poor Lithuania.
posted by Cranberry at 3:25 PM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Just wait until Scottish Independence. You think they'll stop there? Genghis Khan was an amateur. Hope your grandchildren like deep fried Mars bars.

George_Spiggott, I read that in the voice of Peter Capaldi.


That's funny, I read it in the voice of Wallace Shawn.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 3:26 PM on September 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


I have this mental image of Scotland taking over all of Eurasia, bit by bit, piece by piece, until the mighty Scottish flag flies over every square inch... except England. Just on general principles.

Are the US, Canada, and Australia not enough?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:26 PM on September 23, 2013


I have this mental image of Scotland taking over all of Eurasia, bit by bit, piece by piece, until the mighty Scottish flag flies over every square inch... except England. Just on general principles.

Actually the best argument I heard against Scottish independence was basically " we couldn't just leave our southern cousins to their own devices, we'd share a land border with an unstable basket case country!"

Granted the last time Scotland got colonial am it's they lost their sovereignty and a terribly significant stone and some jewels.
posted by The Whelk at 3:29 PM on September 23, 2013


With that music, all I could hear was "In a world..."
posted by flyingsquirrel at 3:36 PM on September 23, 2013


I have this mental image of Scotland taking over all of Eurasia, bit by bit, piece by piece, until the mighty Scottish flag flies over every square inch... except England. Just on general principles.
Are the US, Canada, and Australia not enough?
I don't know about Canada and Australia, but the US? Sure, there are Scottish people here, but they're a far shot from taking over. At least based on self reported census data, Scottish ancestry is #11, at a measly 1.7% of the total population (significantly less than Native Americans, and that's really saying something). If you count Scotch-Irish, that gets them up to 3.2%, tied with Polish at #8.

Compare to #1, German, 15.2%.
posted by Flunkie at 4:04 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm picturing Hans Zimmer conducting the border changes: Borders Are Collapsing.
posted by ifandonlyif at 4:13 PM on September 23, 2013


It's interesting to note, if you go by the Wikipedia figures (which may or may not be correct) that Canada has nearly as many Scottish people as the US, despite having a population ten times smaller overall. So they're ten times closer to total domination in this country.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:14 PM on September 23, 2013


With that music, all I could hear was "In a world..."

I've just noticed that if you hit pause at just the right moment you get a glimpse of an intricate bronze astrolabe in the foreground.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:15 PM on September 23, 2013


beagle: FYI, the original of this is Centennia Historical Atlas, downloadable here. ... With the software you can zoom in on any region, slow it down, get annotations, etc. The Atlas for 1789-1819 can be downloadable for free. It's 59 bucks to activate the video map feature for the full 1000 years.

I felt like the animation went by too fast to really absorb the changes, and was hoping for exactly what beagle described, but...$59?? Nah.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:18 PM on September 23, 2013


And when The Holy Roman Empire fell, it really left a mess. Didn't get cleaned up until the 19th century.

Yeah, I'm not sure how people found the time to do all that math in the middle of all that.
posted by yeolcoatl at 5:16 PM on September 23, 2013


The years are a bit off. In addition to WW2 lasting until 1960, it shows Estonia and Czechoslovakia existing in 1911, when in fact neither existed until 1918. It also shows Norwegian independence by 1884, which did not actually occur until 1905.

Edit: But oddly, it correctly shows the Soviet Union beginning in 1922.
posted by ILuvMath at 6:30 PM on September 23, 2013


It also shows the last vestige of Moorish Granada going poof a good 50 years early if I read it right, but there are probably lots of oversimplifications involved either way.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:51 PM on September 23, 2013




In the 17th & 18th centuries, someone seems to have spilled candy sprinkles where modern-day Germany is.
posted by NumberSix at 7:53 PM on September 23, 2013


That was before the invention of herring, NumberSix.
posted by motty at 7:57 PM on September 23, 2013


A lot of the dates are off, but what's weird is how they're not consistently off. I was watching the Byzantine Empire and it starts off having the Battle of Manzikert in the mid 1160s, which is about 5 years too early. Then the Fourth Crusade doesn't happen until 1215, which is about 10 years too late. The Fall of Constantinople seems to happen in 1430, which is 20-odd years too early. I'd get it if it were always 10 years late or even if everything lagged a bit or was early, but the timeline is whipping back and forth seemingly at random.
posted by Copronymus at 8:52 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is super cool and makes me want to play Europa Universalis 3 right now but I already have a really great game of CivV going and I keep meaning to get back to Crusader Kings...dang it!
posted by Our Ship Of The Imagination! at 9:51 PM on September 23, 2013


The Last Express (wiki).
posted by Sangermaine at 10:02 PM on September 23, 2013


« Older They couldn't put one quote up here from my act?   |   Papercraft project blog Paper Matrix Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments