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“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”
September 25, 2013 9:50 AM   Subscribe

Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!
The blogger behind 300Sandwiches.com talks about the genisis of her blog and the quest for her that engagement ring, one sandwich at a time.
posted by fontophilic (361 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
I don't necessarily understand the quest because I did not bother to read it yet, but let me just get this out in the open - those are some fucking tasty looking sandwiches.
posted by kbanas at 9:53 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


OK, now that I've read it, I think that "Make me 300 sandwiches and I'll give you an engagement ring" is kind of unsettling, and fuck that guy, but seriously the sandwiches look tasty.
posted by kbanas at 9:54 AM on September 25, 2013 [60 favorites]


OK, now that I've read it, I think that "Make me 300 sandwiches and I'll give you an engagement ring" is kind of unsettling, and fuck that guy,

This is my thought. I mean, great for them I guess but ewww.
posted by sweetkid at 9:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex.

I want to say this is messed up...but holy god look at those sandwiches.
posted by Lutoslawski at 9:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


This is some amazingly subtle satire, the likes of which I've not seen this side of Christwire! Just think! A woman making sandwiches demanded (not asked for) by her partner! Who promises to legitimize their relationship if she performs tasks! It's brilliantly subversive. I mean, it just wouldn't have the same ring to it if it had been a blog about being 300 goats away from an engagement ring. But damn those goats would have been cute.
posted by jph at 9:58 AM on September 25, 2013 [37 favorites]


Yeah, the purpose behind it is utterly alien to me and pretty gross, but the sandwiches themselves look very tasty!

Also I am a little upset as well that her mom's objection to this was not "this is a weird and creepy demand he is making" but "honey you can't even cook".
posted by elizardbits at 9:58 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Without reading the link, I just need to ask: Are these grilled cheese sandwiches we're talking about?
posted by Fezboy! at 9:59 AM on September 25, 2013 [18 favorites]


I hope after she makes him the 300th sandwich he makes some grand public proposal and she DUMPS HIS ASS.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:59 AM on September 25, 2013 [91 favorites]


Reading the article, this guy sounds like a dick. I mean, I wish he were less dicktastic so I could describe him in another way. But seriously, "You've been up 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich!" to me would be an invitation to spike his sandwich with a ghost pepper, and move my shit out.
posted by headspace at 9:59 AM on September 25, 2013 [35 favorites]


He could have just used sudo.
posted by srboisvert at 10:00 AM on September 25, 2013 [53 favorites]


Yeah, so what we have here is a food blog with a distinguishing gimmick designed to elicit notoriety.

Marketing by any other name...
posted by OHSnap at 10:00 AM on September 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


“Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”

On the one hand, this can be read as some kind of Stepford drone woman who is a prisoner of the patriarchy.

On the other, perhaps taking the "Woman, make me a sandwich joke!" and maximizing it helps to subvert & destroy its ridiculous, or at least make people aware of why that crack isn't a good one.

On the third, perhaps they both knew this was ridiculous and just ran with it?

In conclusion, use of tone is a land of contrasts.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:01 AM on September 25, 2013 [24 favorites]


This is some amazingly subtle satire. . .

. . . from the New York Post.

I nominate that for today's "Least Likely Proposition On MeFi" award.
posted by The Bellman at 10:01 AM on September 25, 2013 [14 favorites]


Ugh lots of people make good food blogs without the random sexist "get a ring" challenge. And then she throws in a random "never forget" bit for 9/11. No Twin Towers sandwich?

I guess this is one of those "not getting the joke" things for me.
posted by sweetkid at 10:01 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


But seriously, "You've been up 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich!" to me would be an invitation to spike his sandwich with a ghost pepper, and move my shit out.

Yeah, the sammich would be me and two hotties and he would not be invited.
posted by elizardbits at 10:01 AM on September 25, 2013 [74 favorites]


He's lucky he's not with me, or he would have ended up with plain cheese and bread everyday, with an occassional Nutella sandwich when we were out of cheese. He didn't specify variety.
posted by jb at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


It could be that this is like an in-joke kind of a thing with them that they realize is offensive (my significant other and I have several similar in-jokes that would probably sound equally horrible to outsiders), but if that's the case, you'd think she'd just say that.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I bet the sammiches are just an excuse to do something fun for each other and get hitched at the end. I can see the "creepy" reading, but I can also see the "they love each other and this is one of the ways they show each other" reading, too.
posted by not_on_display at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Fuck that guy. "Make me a sandwich" is pretty chauvinistic. It is relegating a woman to the kitchen to serve the man. And to have a target for a ring? And the you've been awake 15 minutes and haven't made a sandwich yet statement? Fuck that guy.

Having said that, those sandwiches look yummy. The guy is right about one thing in that a sandwich made by a loved one tastes better than the deli or something you make for yourself. But to demand it?
posted by birdherder at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


OK, now that I've read it, I think that "Make me 300 sandwiches and I'll give you an engagement ring" is kind of unsettling, and fuck that guy,

This is my thought. I mean, great for them I guess but ewww.


That was also my thought. Then I decided to be charitable and believe is one of those things that one person in a couple says to another that you can't ever share with someone outside the relationship because it just reads as AWFUL HORRIBLE GROSS unless you are one of the two people in the wholly inexplicable world of being a couple.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [20 favorites]


This is seriously creepy. I ask in all sincerity, how is it that men are still in charge of proposing marriage? I see that unquestioned presumption all over Metafilter and YouTube and other places I frequent, and I am baffled by the fact that the tradition still remains strong even among progressive, educated people.
posted by Wordwoman at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2013 [24 favorites]


I have always valued the commitment and dedication it takes to get married and stay married. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to raise a family with someone who feels likewise.

Old fashioned indeed: purchasing marriage with a dowry! A dowry of delicious sandwiches is still a dowry.

“How ‘Stepford Wives’ of you!” said one single gal whose kitchen was used for shoe storage.

Ohhhh, get it guys? She cares more about shoes than cooking, and that's why she can't get a man!

Another, a hard-working C-suite banking executive, also objected. “It’s not 1950!” she exclaimed. “It’s chauvinistic! He’s saying, ‘Cook for me, woman, and maybe I’ll make you my wife.’”

Oh those pathetic singletons, with their notions of mutual respect! Let us laugh at their delusions, and note that even their successes (hard working banking executive!) are failures without the love of a man to complete their barren lives.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:03 AM on September 25, 2013 [34 favorites]


I hate what this says 'macro' but on the micro level, she's furthering her career through this bullshit song and dance, and if the relationship isn't built on something more solid, at least she has that to fall back on.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:03 AM on September 25, 2013


A lot of couples have weird in-joke things that don't translate well (or at all) to people who are not them. Maybe this is that. I hope.


...And now I've finished reading the article and I have lost hope.
posted by rtha at 10:04 AM on September 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


“You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy,” he says. “We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.”

I guess I assumed this whole aspect of it was tongue in cheek. If not, whoa.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:04 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


When I decided to be charitable and believe is one of those things that one person in a couple says to another that you can't ever share with someone outside the relationship because it just reads as AWFUL HORRIBLE GROSS unless you are one of the two people in the wholly inexplicable world of being a couple.

Except then she bought a domain name and gave an interview...
posted by headspace at 10:04 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, and also it gets a lot more attention than saying "I'm going to do a blog about sandwiches."
posted by Naberius at 10:05 AM on September 25, 2013


(Then again, I'd propose about 10-15 good sandwiches, so my opinion might be a little skewed.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:05 AM on September 25, 2013


Well, sure, she hasn't the sense to keep this inside the relationship bubble, but that doesn't mean it really is as horrible as it feels.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:06 AM on September 25, 2013


"To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex"

SANDWICHES ARE NOT HUGS OR KISSES OR SEX THEY ARE FOR EATING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:06 AM on September 25, 2013 [28 favorites]


"I made sandwiches to get myself out of the doghouse — like No. 67, a scrambled egg, smoked salmon and chive creation that combined some of Eric’s favorite things to make up for my being 45 minutes late for dinner the night before."

This sentence is horrible. I run late. I call or text, and that's that. I don't have to bow down in fealty and feed the Queen of the Shire so that I might not be beheaded.
posted by OHSnap at 10:07 AM on September 25, 2013 [55 favorites]


Go to her website. Read the "about" section. Apparently he does the majority of the cooking in their house. This is a challenge for her, with a whole lot of tongue-in-cheek faux-Stepfording.
posted by explosion at 10:08 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I know that there are major issues with this.

However, those are damn good looking sandwiches.

Is there a not sexist way to say I find the ability to make such sandwiches incredibly attractive, while recognizing that women should be able to find their own fulfillment without serving a man sandwiches, but framing the ability to make sandwiches as an unquantifiable bonus that I would place great value on if I were so lucky to have the opportunity to propose to said maker of sandwiches?

Sammich.
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 10:09 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


did everyone who's claiming he's some sort of chauvinistic asshole miss the part where he does most of the cooking and makes pretty fancy meals? Maybe this is his way of getting her to return the favor a bit?

My wife and I are in a pretty similar situation (both professional, but I do more of the nice cooking) and it took a while to get past the "just because I'd like you to make some nice meals for me every once in a while does not mean I expect you to be a 1950s housewife".

Nothing you make yourself tastes as good as what someone else puts effort in to makes for you
posted by slapshot57 at 10:09 AM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


It's not just the cooking, it's "this is how you get that ring, darlin'" bit. If he made her do 100 burpees for 300 days as a condition to propose to her/get engaged to her, I'd be just as squicked.
posted by sweetkid at 10:10 AM on September 25, 2013 [23 favorites]


I hate the word "sammich" so much. SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH.
posted by josher71 at 10:10 AM on September 25, 2013 [70 favorites]


I spent a Friday night a while back making 40 sandwiches for lunch the next day during a girl scout trip. I'm not sure how that works out in rings, since I'd probably have to divide it out for sandwiches/head, and fractions hurt my delicate lady brain. Also, if there were only four different kinds of sandwiches, how does that work? Do I need to convert to radians because rings are circular?

But I guess it doesn't really matter since two of my Daisies have already told me they want to get married to me.
posted by phunniemee at 10:11 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I am beyond grossed out. I did not fight for equal rights in the seventies through the present, so this idiot can show her man-child boyfriend that she's "wife material."

Sure, feed your SO, and I get that he feeds you, but THIS?

Disgusting.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:11 AM on September 25, 2013 [21 favorites]


SANDWICHES ARE NOT HUGS OR KISSES OR SEX THEY ARE FOR EATING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT.

If television has taught us anything, it's that combining sex and sandwiches is generally a bad idea.
posted by cjelli at 10:13 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


This just screams "I want a book deal" to me.
posted by troika at 10:15 AM on September 25, 2013 [49 favorites]


It reminds me of a Brothers Grimm sort of fairy tale, where the prince/princess makes a horrifically unreasonable demand in exchange for a romantic relationship of some stripe (a chaste kiss, a favor to wear, an arranged marriage with real-estate and cash, etc.) Because the hero loves/pines for/lusts after this person, and they seem compatible except for (or perhaps especially because of) the quest-demanding thing, they do it.

So, I don't know if her affianced actually demanded 300 sammidges, or if she's setting up a cute fairy-tale formula to help sell her blog. Either way, she seems happy with it.

If he starts hiding babies to get people to guess his name, she should def DTMFA, tho.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:15 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


See, I thought this was going to be a blog about how she made a bunch of sandwiches out of the guy. (Doesn't 'make me a sandwich' mean 'turn me into a sandwich'?) Depending on how big he is, and how creative she gets with the parts, that could work out to way more than 300 sandwiches...
posted by fikri at 10:15 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


"'You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy,' he says. 'We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.'"

I mean if they're happy being who they are with one another, whatever, good for them and their sandwiches but I have not a single doubt that the whole gag is derived from the "make me a sandwich" meme.

... it just wouldn't have the same ring to it if it had been a blog about being 300 goats away from an engagement ring.

YOU COULDN'T HAVE COME UP WITH THIS BEFORE I PROPOSED?
posted by griphus at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Having read the article I think it's completely obvious that the whole thing is basically a gag building off an in-joke between the two. Calm down people. She is not undoing 30+ years of progress on equal rights by making sandwiches.

Did we learn nothing from horse_ebooks?
posted by COD at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [21 favorites]


This just screams "I want a book deal" to me.

Yay, now we can hate them for being hipsters, too!!
posted by phunniemee at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


They seem like a sweet and happy couple. Seriously.
posted by Annabelle74 at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


This just screams "WHY NEW YORK CITY SUCKS ASS NOW" to me.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Someday "sammich" will be the dominant spelling/pronunciation, and on that day, my reign will have gone on long enough.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013


The "make me a sandwich" thing, in this case, is obviously meant and taken as a joke. You might not find it funny, but you're not a member of this couple, so that doesn't matter. And if you RTFA, you'll learn that the guy has made some pretty great meals for her, too.

As always, don't rush too quickly to be offended on this blogger's behalf. She is not literally performing kitchen labor to earn this right to marry this man. That's just the gimmick/excuse for a food blog that she obviously wants to do anyway.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 10:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


This just screams "WHY NEW YORK CITY SUCKS ASS NOW" to me.

To be fair, that's the Post's own "All The News That's Fit To Print."
posted by griphus at 10:17 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


wha? because two people are doing a weird sexist sandwich game?
posted by sweetkid at 10:17 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


See, this is why I planned to be single forever. Fortunately, I met a man who could make his own sandwiches. And occasionally make me one, since he was up and all. Sometimes he forgets to bring the bag of chips with him back to the couch, and so that's why we had a kid, to help with that.
posted by emjaybee at 10:17 AM on September 25, 2013 [49 favorites]


This just screams "WHY NEW YORK CITY SUCKS ASS NOW" to me.

And here I thought we were still on cronuts.
posted by sweetkid at 10:17 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


And if you RTFA, you'll learn that the guy has made some pretty great meals for her, too.

Surprisingly enough this does not mean she owes him sandwiches within 15 minutes of waking up in the morning.
posted by elizardbits at 10:19 AM on September 25, 2013 [18 favorites]


Anne Friedman has some good Tweets.

Career man must bury the bodies of 300 of his girlfriend's haters to earn marriage proposal #300ditches

Career man must make 300 runs to the pharmacy for Monistat and tampons to earn girlfriend's marriage proposal #300itches

Career man must pour girlfriend 300 glasses of scotch after long stressful days to earn marriage proposal. #300glenfiddiches

Career man must sort through 300 pairs of jeans to find ones that perfectly fit his girlfriend to earn her marriage proposal #300britches

posted by emjaybee at 10:20 AM on September 25, 2013 [52 favorites]


I would like to see a plot twist where they break up along the way, and then she spends the rest of the blog sandwich-stalking him, because after 300 sandwiches, he belongs to her.

So there he is, on vacation in Guam and takes a chance on a spam-jalapeno sandwich--he takes a bite and she jumps out from behind the counter, shouting, "Sandwich 300, sucka!"
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:21 AM on September 25, 2013 [33 favorites]


I don't understand how people can eat anything fifteen minutes after waking up. I'm too much of a zombie to do anything but stare at my clothes until I realize that I have to put them on.
posted by not_on_display at 10:21 AM on September 25, 2013 [23 favorites]


Surprisingly enough this does not mean she owes him sandwiches within 15 minutes of waking up in the morning.

Pretty sure that was a joke, too.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 10:22 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am still imagining wonderful scenarios such as this:

She serves him Sandwich 300. It is a masterpiece. A jawdropping feat of breadcraft. Dagwood would weep like an infant, such is the beauty of this sandwich.

She sets this delicacy before him. He cannot even speak, so stunned is he by this, the Greatest Sandwich Evar.

He looks up at her, tears streaming down his cheeks, and hands atremble, he reaches for the sandwich.


And she snatches it away from him and says, "to be perfectly honest, you're kind of a dick, dude. I don't think I wanna marry you."

She bites into the sandwich, and looks into his eyes as she chews slowly, savoring its perfection.

"Sucks to be you. I make fucking amazing sandwiches."
posted by louche mustachio at 10:23 AM on September 25, 2013 [29 favorites]


I don't understand how people can eat anything fifteen minutes after waking up.

"Honey, you’re 300 can you please get me my anxiety medication and a glass of water away from an engagement ring!"
posted by griphus at 10:23 AM on September 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


Man, I wish I had thought of that 300 pairs of jeans idea. I fucking hate trying on jeans and would marry pretty much anyone who would do that for me.
posted by HotToddy at 10:24 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Having seen the photo of the two of them, though (or three of them if you count him and her and his ghastly hair), I have to say: The fact that he has somehow arranged things so that she has to convince him to spend the rest of his life with her...I would not want to play poker against this man.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:24 AM on September 25, 2013 [31 favorites]


Also oh god every single last asshole on the internet is going to point to this article and say SEE SOME WOMEN LIKE MAKING US SANDWICHES like they think they're Clarence Fucking Darrow.
posted by elizardbits at 10:24 AM on September 25, 2013 [32 favorites]


My significant other is doing this too, but we restrict it to ingredients commonly found prior to 1983, and she must use technology that was available at that time in order to make it.
posted by newper at 10:24 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


300 sandwiches? This... is madness.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:25 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Well, I guess it beats what David in the Bible had to pay for his first wife. (YOU go look it up.)

But yeah, 300 sandwiches for a ring? Yeah, ridiculous, tongue in cheek or not. A ring is not something to be EARNED.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:26 AM on September 25, 2013


This whole thing is one leather harness away from someone's sub/dom fantasy. 300 Sandwiches of Sodom.
posted by emjaybee at 10:26 AM on September 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


If they are both happy then they are doing just fine whether we like it or not.
posted by srboisvert at 10:26 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


(And fwiw I make MY husband a sandwich for breakfast nearly every morning, to include this one. Fried egg, with sliced cheddar on wheat. So THERE.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:27 AM on September 25, 2013


"...and I’d blog about it."

- the second half of every idea since 1994
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:28 AM on September 25, 2013 [17 favorites]


This just screams "WHY NEW YORK CITY SUCKS ASS NOW" to me.

How much of the media cycle is driven by the fact that New York City (the part frequented by the affluent, anyway) has become this weird hothouse atmosphere in which aberrant behavior that would seem far-fetched in Les Liaisons Dangereuses passes as normal?
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:29 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


ALSO HE CALLS HER "BABES" AND THAT ALONE EARNS HIM A TRIP TO THE WICKER MAN
posted by elizardbits at 10:29 AM on September 25, 2013 [70 favorites]


did everyone who's claiming he's some sort of chauvinistic asshole miss the part where he does most of the cooking and makes pretty fancy meals? Maybe this is his way of getting her to return the favor a bit?

No, I saw that part. I also saw the part where she had to make a sandwich as recompense for the sin of being late to dinner. I stand by my evaluation of his dickitude.
posted by headspace at 10:30 AM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


Far be it from me to tell someone else how to get a book deal run their relationship, I just think this would be the most amazing long troll.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:31 AM on September 25, 2013


I couldn't tell if that meant she was late for a dinner in a restaurant, late for a dinner that he was preparing for her at home, or late in making him dinner, and then I decided it didn't matter because ugh.
posted by elizardbits at 10:32 AM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I guess I could do the math, but I've brought gingerbeer coffee in bed in the morning every morning for however long we've lived together + the mornings one of us slept over before we lived together - the mornings one of us was out of town, and we've gotten married four times.
posted by rtha at 10:35 AM on September 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


Having seen the photo of the two of them, though (or three of them if you count him and her and his ghastly hair)

Oh jesus, that hair.

I would like to offer this as a public service announcement to any of insecure balding dudes out there trying to cope. One of the common tactics to cover up a receding hairline is to grow it out long and comb the center part down over the sides so you can't see the withering peaks.

THAT IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU DO THAT, GUYS. NOW YOU KNOW.
posted by phunniemee at 10:36 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


That hair is one cheap and flamboyant suit away from being Saul Goodman.
posted by fontophilic at 10:38 AM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


That hair is so bad. Especially next to her, since she looks like perfection.
posted by sweetkid at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2013


Babes > Sammich
posted by josher71 at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2013


It's playmobil man hair. It looks like he can pop it off and replace it with a hard hat or a pirate's befeathered chapeau or a chef's toque.
posted by elizardbits at 10:40 AM on September 25, 2013 [25 favorites]


Presumably the latter is the most likely.
posted by elizardbits at 10:40 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


What makes you think he can't?
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:40 AM on September 25, 2013


Man, I just wish we could stop immediately going from "X is an asshat" to "AND X LOOKS FUNNY TOO! NEENER NEENER!"
posted by jph at 10:41 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


what does that even mean
posted by sweetkid at 10:41 AM on September 25, 2013


> Well, and also it gets a lot more attention than saying "I'm going to do a blog about sandwiches."

*checks to see if 300blowjobs.com has been registered*
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:42 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


This has been up far too long to get deleted and there's no point in taking a second one of these to Metatalk in as many weeks, but to anyone here espousing honest dialog about the patriarchy...

This sort of post is not helping.
posted by digitalprimate at 10:42 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I don't get how she thinks it'll take her years to get the ring? 300 sandwiches. One a day. She's got the ring in less than a year.

Doesn't mean he'll marry her, mind. The deal is for an engagement ring.

Also, if he was my boyfriend, he'd have eaten a whole lot of asscrack flavoured sandwiches at this point in the game.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:42 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


My SO figured me out. Posted me boxes of cheese from the midwest, without me asking for them.

We're now engaged.
posted by Wordshore at 10:43 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I feel like people here are taking this a heck of a lot more seriously than the couple involved is.
posted by inigo2 at 10:44 AM on September 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Man, I just wish we could stop immediately going from "X is an asshat" to "AND X LOOKS FUNNY TOO! NEENER NEENER!"

But if the hair helmet fits...
posted by phunniemee at 10:45 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Just because nobody has brought it up yet....

The real issue we aren't talking about here is the sandwich privilege involved in having the financial resources to make 300 gourmet sandwiches in a year.
posted by COD at 10:47 AM on September 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


I like how she's like "he even talks about family without breaking in a cold sweat!" like that's the sign of a healthy, future focused relationship.

That's part of what makes me think this isn't so tongue in cheek. There's a bit of "guys are like this, girls are like that" running through the whole thing, and the guy cooking doesn't negate that.

And they're kind of old to be acting this way (I am their age). It does look kind of desperate. i feel like if I were her and it didn't work out and I met some guy later he'd be like, "you did what?"
posted by sweetkid at 10:48 AM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


At first I was squicked by the idea that even though this is a joke, someone implied and accepted the notion that one must "earn" a marriage proposal.

Then, I looked at the article and was even more frustrated to see the racial and social implications of a white dude making his African American girlfriend earn his love through domestic tasks.

Then, I read this part:
Remember, he doesn’t like green vegetables—kale, spinach and sprouts are all on the Forbidden Foods list.

And damn near had a blackout moment from rage that grown damn man is not only so childish that he thinks the "Make me a Sammich, Woman" shit is funny but he also has a list of Forbidden Foods that are solely made up of green vegetables? Oh HELL NO. Dude is 10 and needs to grow the hell up.
posted by teleri025 at 10:48 AM on September 25, 2013 [45 favorites]


inigo2, I think most of us are just enjoying being able to make stupid sandwich jokes.
posted by emjaybee at 10:48 AM on September 25, 2013


I think most of us are just enjoying being able to make stupid sandwich jokes.

Indeed. They're the bread and butter of this thread so far.
posted by cjelli at 10:49 AM on September 25, 2013 [12 favorites]


I hope this is an inside joke the couple shares and only they get it.
I hope so for both their sakes.
posted by rocket88 at 10:50 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


> “Take it one sandwich at a time.”

Great advice re. sandwiches, relationships not so much.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:51 AM on September 25, 2013


This is going to be a TED talk in the near future, isn't it?
posted by Wordshore at 10:51 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Sandwiches, engagement rings, and the term "Alexander Skarsgård look-alike" have all been cheapened by this article.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:51 AM on September 25, 2013 [23 favorites]


I guess I could do the math, but I've brought gingerbeer coffee in bed...

gingerbeer coffee?
posted by goethean at 10:52 AM on September 25, 2013


As have the respected and longstanding careers of playmobil pirate, construction worker, and chef.
posted by elizardbits at 10:53 AM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]



Sandwiches, engagement rings, and the term "Alexander Skarsgård look-alike" have all been cheapened by this article.

Debeers and the artisan bread companies are gonna be so mad
posted by sweetkid at 10:57 AM on September 25, 2013


gingerbeer coffee?

Heh. gingerbeer.

We only do coffee-flavored coffee in this house. Or bourbon/whiskey-flavored. But not first thing in the morning.
posted by rtha at 10:58 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Man, I just wish we could stop immediately going from "X is an asshat" to "AND X LOOKS FUNNY TOO! NEENER NEENER!"

I'm not giving him shit for his hair for the sake of finding one more thing to mock him for. I'm giving him shit for his hair because

1. It really is hideous, but more importantly,
2. Juxtaposing him, with his tragic appearance-related decisions (those pants, come on) next to her, who makes me feel kind of shy and blushy and I'm only looking at a photo of her, presents the image of someone who has outpunted his coverage to such a degree that he'd have managed it even if his coverage consisted of the entire solar system, so it's funny (in a baffling way) to me that not only does he have the cast-iron chutzpah to even try making demands of her, but that it appears to have worked.

I may hate his hair and his dumb zippery 1993 pants, but damn if I'm not a little in awe of the man.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 11:00 AM on September 25, 2013 [12 favorites]


Anyway in the ideal world I would be able to offer her an interactive arts grant, the scope of which would comprise her traveling around the world preparing and then denying men tasty sandwiches, and, via her choice of media, documenting their reactions.
posted by elizardbits at 11:01 AM on September 25, 2013 [18 favorites]


ok you need an elizardbits foundation for sure.
posted by sweetkid at 11:04 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


She's pretty intense. Her boyfriend of two years makes what might have been an offhand remark ("300 sandwiches away from a ring!"), and after initially thinking it's crazy because he's the cook, she decides to go all out with this and buys the camera and registers the website the next day. Then she proceeds to spend a signification part of the time she's not working as a high-powered entertainment reporter researching, purchasing ingredients for, and assembling gourmet sandwiches. That's some pretty driven behavior, right there.

Don't get me wrong, the guy is still a childish dick but I kind of see the author as being the driving force behind this experiment.
posted by subdee at 11:06 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I'll make you a sandwich the day
you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does."
posted by discopolo at 11:06 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's weird how people are so quick to judge and condemn a one off comment, the person who said it, and the entire relationship. The lack of agency subscribed to the woman is astonishing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:07 AM on September 25, 2013 [15 favorites]


Is anyone surprised that a senior reporter for the New York Post likes to pretend to be a housewife every so often while making significantly more money than her partner? That's how you manage to be socially conservative and still buck gender norms.
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:07 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Gawker's take which I mainly link to because this line is the best:
We learn that, to Stephanie Smith's boyfriend Eric (whom she describes as "an Alexander Skarsgård look-alike" and who, it must be said, bears a passing resemblance to True Blood's "Eric" [Season 1, hair only])
posted by primalux at 11:08 AM on September 25, 2013


This is basically like CEOs paying prostitutes to pretend to dominate them.
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:09 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Add me to the list of people who think that this is an okay, sweet thing between these two people and the author is self-aware enough to realize that she actually does not literally need to make 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend in order to get him to propose.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:09 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Seriously, all sorts of couples do odd and strange things. Why anyone want's spend time condemning them, when it's a consensual act is between them is mind-boggling and tedious. They found something that works for them, so whatever.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:10 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material."

and

'“You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy,” he says. “We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.”'


really, really make me think this isn't tongue-in-cheek.
posted by coppermoss at 11:11 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Seriously, all sorts of couples do odd and strange things. Why anyone want's spend time condemning them, when it's consensual act is alternates between mind-boggling and tedious.

They put their odd strange things on the internet and in the NY Post, so we spend time commenting on it. We put our condemnation on the internet, so you can spend time condemning it.
posted by sweetkid at 11:14 AM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Then we can condemn that too, later everyone has cake or pie as their tastes prefer.
posted by elizardbits at 11:15 AM on September 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Each sandwich contains 1/300th of a lethal dose of poison. As he eats the last sandwich and realizes his folly, she prys his claw-like fingers from her arm, turns away, and walks off into the sunset whistling.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:16 AM on September 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


she actually does not literally need to make 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend in order to get him to propose

Again, wtf is up with the man being the one who must propose? Anyone? And what is it that she should be doing... patiently waiting or something? Because how is that better than sandwiches?
posted by Wordwoman at 11:17 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


She is a reporter for the freaking New York Post. She knows exactly how it sounds when she says something like "Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material."

Which is exactly why she said it. They are playing it completely over the top.

I'm sure they are hoping to laugh all the way to a book deal on this.
posted by COD at 11:19 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Again, wtf is up with the man being the one who must propose? Anyone?

That's how she prefers or wants it to be?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:20 AM on September 25, 2013


And what is it that she should be doing... patiently waiting or something? Because how is that better than sandwiches?

Less carbs.
posted by griphus at 11:20 AM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


Again, wtf is up with the man being the one who must propose? Anyone?

I haven't seen anybody, here or in the article, say the man must be the one to propose. She apparently prefers it happen that way, as do most women it seems.

I have no idea why, but I'm sure sandwich privilege is somehow involved.
posted by COD at 11:23 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have no idea why, but I'm sure sandwich privilege is somehow involved.

The goddamn salted meat industry, always tryin' to keep a sista down.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:25 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


It is true, many of those sandwiches appear to be on WHITE bread.
posted by elizardbits at 11:25 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I don't know why the man has to be the one to propose, either. I think she's probably self aware enough to realize this, too. If she prefer that he be the one to propose, fine, whatever. That's not how I'd want it in my relationship, but she's not in my relationship.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:26 AM on September 25, 2013


I don't care why she did it- I would judge the living hell out of anyone who did something like this. It's pathetic, even if it's a joke, and given the number of AskMe posts which boil down to 'how can I make this man propose' I kind of doubt it's completely a joke.

It reminds me of a woman with whom I used to work. She would always giggle in this annoying way at the end of the day and say 'oh, I have to go home, hubby can't make dinner for himself!' She stopped the day I asked her why she married someone incapable of basic self-care.

It's not cute for either person to publicize this kind of man-child/mommy-woman relationship.
posted by winna at 11:28 AM on September 25, 2013 [33 favorites]


It is true, many of those sandwiches appear to be on WHITE bread.

And it's always TWO slices of it, surrounding the meat, holding it down. If it tries to escape, mayo is slathered on it and you KNOW what color that is.

That's not how I'd want it in my relationship, but she's not in my relationship.

What sandwiches are in your relationship?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:29 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man, she looks like a total catch. He... does not look like a catch at all.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:33 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


> I'm sure they are hoping to laugh all the way to a book deal on this.

That I get. The thing I don't get is who the hell buys these lame blog books.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:35 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Pastrami Blue.
posted by deezil at 11:40 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Maybe this is some kind of exhibitionist culinary BDSM thing? Anyway, this is a brilliantly conceived initiative and I predict a highly successful career for Stephanie Smith
posted by Bwithh at 11:42 AM on September 25, 2013


I thought this was really sweet, and between two people who are clearly into each other and get each other really well. This woman is obviously not
1) barefoot in the kitchen
2) desperate for a man, any man
3) mind-controlled by either the Patriarchy or her Domineering Boyfriend

so I'm not sure what gives with these posters. But then, I've never even in jest considered telling (or even asking!) a woman to make me a sandwich, so maybe I'm too sheltered to be outraged.

Cute story, fun (if okay yeah, seriously non-movie, for-reals quirky) couple, rad post. Thanks!
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:42 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]



This is going to be a TED talk in the near future, isn't it?
posted by Wordshore at 10:51 AM on September 25
[2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]


Seriously, if only TED was as good as this
posted by Bwithh at 11:46 AM on September 25, 2013


If you like it, then you should have put a panini in it.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:47 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I'm going to try this at work. "Sorry, boss, you've still got 114 sandwiches to go before I file that TRX report."
posted by Flunkie at 11:48 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


But seriously, "You've been up 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich!" to me would be an invitation to spike his sandwich with a ghost pepper, and move my shit out.

It's all in the delivery, folks!
posted by Bwithh at 11:51 AM on September 25, 2013


I think we're all missing a critical question: will the tie-in book be a cookbook? Or a relationship manual?
posted by griphus at 11:51 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


What she should do is just devote an entire Saturday afternoon to making sandwiches, just crank those bitches out one after another, until she hits #300. And then she can be all "haha, fucker, now you have to propose."

BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE RULES.
posted by phunniemee at 11:52 AM on September 25, 2013 [12 favorites]


But then, I've never even in jest considered telling (or even asking!) a woman to make me a sandwich, so maybe I'm too sheltered to be outraged.

I think that's the issue here. I've run into too many people who really do believe that sort of thing, and for that matter who often float the concepts (at least initially) in a ha ha only serious sort of way, to appreciate the humor of that article without a certain squicky feeling.
posted by sparktinker at 11:52 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Im on the "this is an inside joke that doesn't translate well" side. Knowing that he is the main cook in the house, the "make me a sandwich, woman!" is probably making joke on the fact that regular gender roles are reversed, in the sense that women are the ones who do most of the cooking in traditional or old-fashioned relationships.

I think that in my house, I do most of the cooking, but when I'm tired or sad or very pregnant and hungry, my husband makes dinner for us and makes the only thing he knows how: sandwiches. So I can appreciate what's going on here.

The only thing that still makes some noise in my mind is condition of the sandwiches for the ring, but I'm guessing both of these people are mature enough that they KNOW that of course their future marriage is not conditioned on her completion of the 300 sandwiches... A bad sandwich is never a deal breaker, but a lack of sense of humor could probably be.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 11:55 AM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think we're all missing a critical question: will the tie-in book be a cookbook? Or a relationship manual?

It'll be both! "Sammiches for the Soul" or something. Big glossy sandwich photo on one side, recipe and charming bon mot about loving each other through it all on the facing. Interspersed throughout will be pictures of them wearing nice clothes and holding hands while walking through a grassy area and looking at each other while smiling with their mouths open unnaturally large.
posted by phunniemee at 11:55 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


If this is a joke, ugh.
If it isn't, double ugh.

Call it my own baggage, but I'm always a bit weary of people who, even as a joke (hell, ESPECIALLY as a joke) talk about the difficult bullshit their significant other does or demands of them, as though it were this cute thing; it either comes across as a desperate coping mechanism (the most extreme case is a girl I knew who'd wake up with her bf fucking her, and rationalized it as him being 'overly affectionate') or passive-aggressive bitterness.

People aren't finicky cats that you just give up trying to make them stop pissing on the carpet or clawing you in the face, ffs. Life's too damn short.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


Somewhere along the way, "wife material" (or, hell, spouse material) got distorted from "Is this person a loving and supportive partner who helps me become a better person?" to "Can this person replace a Jimmy John's?" That's both sexist and ... sad in other ways.
posted by Apropos of Something at 11:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's not cute for either person to publicize this kind of man-child/mommy-woman relationship.

No, sorry, this is baloney. It is way out of bounds for you to react to the domestic relationship of a happy couple this way - it's clearly something she finds endearing about her relationship with him, and you turned it into this sneering judgement. Not terribly cool.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I hate the word "sammich" so much. SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH.

Me to! (As someone named "Sam".)
posted by Jahaza at 11:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


#300feministsandwiches on Twitter is winning the Internet this afternoon.
posted by nicepersonality at 11:56 AM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


My sincere gratitude may be purchased for the cost of exactly one of those sandwiches.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:57 AM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


"wife material" = living human flesh

ideally
posted by elizardbits at 11:57 AM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


The #300feministsandwiches hash tag is pretty fun though:

Pulled Dwork
A Reuben of One's Own
Equal Pay-strami on Rye
posted by gladly at 11:59 AM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I hate the word "sammich" so much. SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH

"sammies" is also bad.
posted by sweetkid at 11:59 AM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


It is way out of bounds for you to react to the domestic relationship of a happy couple this way

This isn't a private thing the public is invading. They put this thing out on the internet and publicized the shit out of it. It is certainly not out of bounds to not like it, or to react negatively.

I also hate sammiches (but love sandviches).
posted by troika at 12:01 PM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Pretty lame stuff. Even as a jokey thing, I think the whole thing sounds very sad, and yes, she seemed to take him seriously at some level. Mature adults can discuss marriage and relationship issues. Hoping for a proposal is bizarre to me.

If it works for them, great, but I'll be as judgmental as I like when someone chooses to expose their relationship quirks to the world this way, particularly when it reinforces misogynist stereotypes. That DOES affect me.
posted by agregoli at 12:02 PM on September 25, 2013


It is way out of bounds for you to react to the domestic relationship of a happy couple this way - it's clearly something she finds endearing about her relationship with him, and you turned it into this sneering judgement. Not terribly cool.

This is so bizarre. She did a blog about it and a NYPost article, it's not like they had a Google Doc they shared about sammiches and someone hacked it and put it everywhere. What.
posted by sweetkid at 12:03 PM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


What if he decides to have pizza one night, would that be considered cheating?

If it works for them, great, but I'll be as judgmental as I like when someone chooses to expose their relationship quirks to the world this way, particularly when it reinforces misogynist stereotypes. That DOES affect me.

It's interesting how this one couple, whom you've never met, affects you.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:04 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


To summarize:
  1. Relationship started around food ( We met at a restaurant in Chelsea two years ago when a friend I was dining with spotted an Alexander Skarsgård look-alike.)
  2. Man does most of the cooking (My boyfriend, Eric, is the gourmet cook in our relationship)
  3. Woman finds making sandwiches for him a challenge, as she couldn't cook/make meals previously, she accepts in hopes of getting him to propose... (“Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”... Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material. If he wanted 300 sandwiches, I’d give him 300 sandwiches — and I’d blog about it.)
  4. Point 3 conflicts with the hopes of modern movements to remove the job of cooking from women.
  5. Making all of these sammies, I’ve learned how much Eric loves sharing cooking with me. He enjoys going to the grocery store with me, picking out ingredients and planning dinners. Though I still want to get engaged and get married and live happily ever after, I’ve also put less pressure on the race to the 300th sandwich and I’m enjoying the cooking experience with Eric.
It is, as far as I can tell, a relationship centered around X, X = food, with what might have been a lack-of-thought (story made for print probably can't dig into that) condition set for engagement. My hope is he wouldn't propose on number 300, sooner or much later than 300 would seem more natural.

Then again: he is a programmer. *sigh* And this is the New York Post. This is tough to weed out.
posted by JoeXIII007 at 12:06 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


50 Shades of Grey Poupon:

“I…what! Are… you…serious?!”
“I thought they were already on the forbidden list?”
I balked. “No, honey, there has been no mention of OLIVES on the list!”
He smiled. “Well, you’ve got an additional item.”

Speechless. Absolutely speechless. To me, the olives kept the sandwich from tasting bland and flavorless. E tried to make me feel better. “But the fennel was perfect, honey. Soft, but still crispy.”

I didn’t care. I glared at him. “Really? No olives?! After 160 some sandwiches, now you tell me!”
He stoked my cheek and smiled. “Baby, I’ve got to put some obstacles in the course. It makes it more interesting.”

posted by Bwithh at 12:06 PM on September 25, 2013 [12 favorites]


Wow. Way to set feminism back 100 years, lady. Seriously, even if it is a joke, it's not a funny one, and comparing it to having sex to stay in a relationship? Gross.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:06 PM on September 25, 2013


I'm not sure why you can't parse what I said, Brandon. But I'm used to you not seeing misogyny or thinking women don't have a point about objecting to it, so it's not that odd to me, at least.
posted by agregoli at 12:09 PM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I want the inevitable book to be a relationship self-help-type thing. Recipes of what sandwiches for what relationship milestones, mis-steps, et cetera.
posted by RainyJay at 12:14 PM on September 25, 2013


Also: I cannot stop refreshing #300feministsandwiches
posted by RainyJay at 12:15 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is tough to weed out.

If only we had some other criteria to use, like perhaps his favourite sort of hat for example.
posted by elizardbits at 12:15 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


So I thought up a small fiction based on a 300 sandwich proposal.

The sandwiches start coming less and less frequently. Eventually she's making a sandwich for him every year on his birthday, or maybe Valentine's Day. Their lives together are generally happy, and filled with many an in-joke, only he wishes there were more sandwiches in his life. She follows the art of sandwich-making studiously, eventually making many sandwiches for everyone but him. Decades later, in old age, she proposes to him with a masterpiece 300th sandwich.
posted by aniola at 12:17 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Funny how people are over-reacting to this expression (jokingly in my opinion) to conservative, traditional gender roles in marriage.

It's like they are straight out of the 1950s. Except for the inter-racial, living together, and guy cooking parts.
posted by COD at 12:17 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Jezebel coverage
posted by Bwithh at 12:18 PM on September 25, 2013


Their lives together are generally happy, and filled with many an in-joke

hahahaha
posted by sweetkid at 12:18 PM on September 25, 2013


If only we had some other criteria to use, like perhaps his favourite sort of hat for example.

I'mma just leave this here.
posted by phunniemee at 12:18 PM on September 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


It is way out of bounds for you to react to the domestic relationship of a happy couple this way

They published about it. It's not like I'm outside their house with a camera. If you tell people about something, they're going to have opinions about it, particularly when their behavior, in however small a way, affects how you are perceived and expected to behave.
posted by winna at 12:19 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


DRAMATIC GASP
posted by elizardbits at 12:19 PM on September 25, 2013


guy cooking parts

yea no one cooked guys in the 50s. They just set them in aspic.
posted by sweetkid at 12:19 PM on September 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I'm looking forward to a few months from now when she posts an AskMe titled "He won't give me a ring until I make him 300 sandwiches" and the chorus of DTFMA is gloriously unanimous.
posted by tafetta, darling! at 12:20 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Eh. She can have him.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:20 PM on September 25, 2013


It's like they are straight out of the 1950s. Except for the inter-racial, living together, and guy cooking parts.

Pretty sure people were doing that in the 50s.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:20 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'm looking forward to the darker, grittier sequel blog, "300 irony-veiled sexist comments from my husband." What we're counting down to will be a mystery... Divorce? Kick in the nuts? Full mental breakdown? Who knows, but the suspense will be a killer gimmick to drive page views, for sure.

There's a flip side to Poe's Law, which is that your wink-wink-nudge-nudge inside joke is going to resonate and reenforce actual assholes with actual asshole agendas. That's why we have the old Ask Metafilter platitude about scratching an ironic bigot and only scratching off the irony. Most people understand that publicly play acting this stuff has the same outcome as being a legit jerkface, regardless of intent.

That being said, I wish someone would make me some of those sandwiches in a mutually beneficial and non-coercive kind of way.
posted by Skwirl at 12:21 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Perhaps you people only understand jokes in nursery rhyme form:

Sing a song of sixpence,
To buy artisan rye
And 4 and 20 blackbirds for
A sandwich for my guy.

Two hundred eighty-seven
Thirteen more to go,
And then when he proposes,
I'll tell that bastard "No!"
posted by themanwho at 12:22 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


"you people"
posted by elizardbits at 12:23 PM on September 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I know what Peggy's mother would say.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:25 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jezebel coverage

Ah, here comes the voice of reason.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:25 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I know what Peggy's mother would say.

Get a cat, get another cat, die.
posted by sweetkid at 12:25 PM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I was thinking more "that boy will use you for practice..."
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:26 PM on September 25, 2013


This is a shot at a book deal, not actual sexism. Look at the food photography--not exactly amateur. Somebody's working hard for something.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:27 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sexism as a book deal.
posted by sweetkid at 12:27 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


According to knowyourmeme, the "make me a sandwich" meme was first used to address a weather system in a 1995 SNL sketch
posted by Bwithh at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2013



According to knowyourmeme, the "make me a sandwich" meme was first used to address a weather system in a 1995 SNL sketch


Tim Meadows should not have such an effect on popular culture. I am outrage.
posted by sweetkid at 12:32 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sexism as a book deal.

Essentially, the same thing. Its the money.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:33 PM on September 25, 2013


This would be amazing as a hybrid sitcom/cooking show on TV actually. Every episode based around a sandwich and the story behind it.
Road to engagement ( will it happen or not? ) is bumpy; dramatic plots about getting sandwich right; horrified/envious friends

I am not joking.
posted by Bwithh at 12:34 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Forty days of sandwiches"
posted by Going To Maine at 12:35 PM on September 25, 2013


I've been doing Paleo for a while and haven't thought about sandwiches this much in months.
posted by sweetkid at 12:35 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


"you people"
posted by elizardbits at 2:23 PM on September 25


Possibly the most Metafilter comment I've ever seen. Well done.
posted by themanwho at 12:36 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is either cute or horrible. I have no idea how to discern in this case.
posted by NedKoppel at 12:38 PM on September 25, 2013


are you outside Metafilter? The "you people" seemed to refer to some other Metafilter, but we're all Metafilter. The Metafilter is coming from inside the house!
posted by sweetkid at 12:38 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


uh oh. I guess I have to marry Subway now.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 12:39 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I admit to starting #300feministsandwiches, which is perhaps my proudest stupid pun moment ever.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 12:40 PM on September 25, 2013 [44 favorites]


uh oh. I guess I have to marry Subway now.

DTMFA.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:40 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


He probably just went with sandwiches because gold skulltulas aren't real.
posted by aubilenon at 12:44 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


uh oh. I guess I have to marry Subway now.

SUBWAY! I LOVE YOU!
posted by Copronymus at 12:49 PM on September 25, 2013


On the one hand, I have no trouble seeing how this is a simply a fun thing she's doing because she wants to and there's every reason to believe there's no genuine inequity here.

On the other hand she writes for the NY Post and is basically using this personal playful relationship game as a part of building a personal brand, all of which squicks me out in precisely the way the above doesn't and I'm damned if I'm going to defend them.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:50 PM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I have no idea what to think, except I am sure part of this was for publicity. It's been on almost every website i frequent.

-All this talk of sandwiches made me hungry. I made an open faced toasted cheese sandwich on rosemary bread, with a mild goat brie. Also a side of yellow cherry tomatoes with vinaigrette, yum.
posted by annsunny at 12:58 PM on September 25, 2013


except I am sure part of this was for publicity.

That, yes. There's no way in hell someone in her position is tone-deaf enough not to know in advance how the "15 minutes" quote would be read... but it's wonderfully deniable: "who, me? I had no idea it would sound less playful and innocent than it was!" The sandwiches are great but it's the cleverly malleable outrage that gives it legs.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:01 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


10 min per sammich x 300 sammiches = 50 hours for a $10K ring = $200/hr...making sandwiches and getting famous? In this job economy? Subsandwichjugation never looked so sweet. The woman is a sandwich shark.
posted by perhapsolutely at 1:03 PM on September 25, 2013


No way Subway has 300 sammiches.
posted by NedKoppel at 1:05 PM on September 25, 2013


#300feministsandwiches on Twitter is winning the Internet this afternoon.
posted by nicepersonality at 2:56 PM on September 25



If some lesbian collective doesn't drop what they're doing right now, and run off to start a sandwich counter in a food co-op featuring such sandwiches as the "Ruth Bader Ginsburger", the "Croque Monsieur with Bechdel Sauce", the "Feminine Mys-Steaque RibEye Sandwich", the "Male Chauvinist Pig-In-A-Blanket", the "Betty Fried-Ham n' Cheese", and of course a "Vag-imite Sandwich"...I'm actually going to be pretty angry, guys.

Heck, if I had the money, I'd do it myself. "Your body, your choice!...of bread, toppings, and two sides!"
posted by magstheaxe at 1:06 PM on September 25, 2013 [30 favorites]


I was a big fan of "The Gyro The Woman."
posted by Linda_Holmes at 1:07 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Heh. The Bella Ab-Sub served with Chocolate Chip-Away-At-The-Patriarchy Cookies.

Some of these sound pretty good, actually.


Maybe I could get a small business loan...start up a feminist food truck....


I suppose I could comment on the topic at hand. My thoughts, in rapid succesion, are:

1) Look! A new source of recipes!

2) She's doing what now?

3) What a cute couple!

4) Eh, it's an open grab for a book deal. Oh, well. Recipes!

5) Why is everyone so mad at them?

6) #300FEMINISTSANDWICHES! WHOOO!

7) Could I seriously run a sandwich shop? Or a sandwich food truck?

8) Think I'll have grilled cheese for supper tonight.
posted by magstheaxe at 1:13 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


some lesbian collective doesn't drop what they're doing right now, and run off to start a sandwich counter in a food co-op featuring such sandwiches as the "Ruth Bader Ginsburger", the "Croque Monsieur with Bechdel Sauce", the "Feminine Mys-Steaque RibEye Sandwich", the "Male Chauvinist Pig-In-A-Blanket", the "Betty Fried-Ham n' Cheese", and of course a "Vag-imite Sandwich"...I'm actually going to be pretty angry, guys.

Heck, if I had the money, I'd do it myself. "Your body, your choice!...of bread, toppings, and two sides!"


Haven't I seen these on Bob's Burgers?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:18 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sisterhood is Powerful...ly Delicious!
posted by perhapsolutely at 1:19 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Our Bagels, Ourselves
The Feminist Mufaletta
A Ruben of One's Own
The Second Schwarma
posted by bonehead at 1:20 PM on September 25, 2013 [14 favorites]


Susan B.L.T. Anthony

The SCUM Manwichfesto

Fat Is A Feminist Swiss Cheese

Ham and Germaine Gruyere

The No-More-Boys Club

The Pull-Your-Own-Damn-Pork Sandwich

The Madeline Albrie

The Fish-Needs-A-Bicycle Tuna Melt

All sandwiches served with iced tea or soda in a Sylvia Plath Commemorative Bell Jar
posted by magstheaxe at 1:35 PM on September 25, 2013 [20 favorites]


I am seriously grossed out by how many people's response to this is "I have issues with this stunt ... But damn those are some good looking sandwiches."

Something about that kind of response is just disturbing. That site is not cute, so don't play into it by being cute in your response to it.
posted by jayder at 1:35 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


She apparently prefers it happen that way, as do most women it seems.

Well, it's pretty ingrained in our culture that a man has to (a) prove his love, and (b) is more likely to be on board with marriage if it's his idea rather than hers first. This is...pretty much going with that. I remember reading one pre-wedding book once (I Do But I Don't, I think?) about the angst women go through while waiting on him to propose, but knowing he wanted to be the one to do it, so they couldn't....FUN TIMEZ.

It reminds me of a woman with whom I used to work. She would always giggle in this annoying way at the end of the day and say 'oh, I have to go home, hubby can't make dinner for himself!' She stopped the day I asked her why she married someone incapable of basic self-care.


Oh god, my friend's husband refuses to even call out for pizza himself. She got A CONCUSSION recently and was still fixing dinners. Don't even get me started on the rage I have on that ridiculousness.

I hope this is a joke, but the more I read, the more I think it's....not so much (plus yes, going for a book deal). I'm still kind of steaming over this. And if a man demanded a sammich out of me after being awake for 15 minutes, he would be getting a kick in the balls. Even if he's naked. That kind of behavior is not cool with me.

Which is probably why I'll never get married because clearly I am not Wife Material.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:36 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


If this is where 'stupid sandwich tricks' are to be posted - Sandwich drama in court with subornation of false testimony and contempt of court motions. (I used to eat many of these back in the 1970s and house-mates have been emailing me this for a week.)
posted by rough ashlar at 1:45 PM on September 25, 2013


7) Could I seriously run a sandwich shop? Or a sandwich food truck?

Yes odds are you could. The truck will be a cheaper nut and then you can move the location. Because location matters.

The long term 'threat' is Momentum Machines has a robotic burger maker is designed to do the work of three full-time kitchen staff. If you went mobile - where would you get the electrical power to run such a thing, if that is the route you opted to go? With fast food workers demanding a living wage once the robots are demonstrated as working you'll have to either claim you have some kind of love and magic in the hand made sammies and that is why they are expensive or go robotic also.

Feel free to add the looney tunes cartoon machines working music if you go mobile when someone orders for the extra charge to cover the licensing.
posted by rough ashlar at 1:54 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


magstheaxe, you are too clever by half!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:58 PM on September 25, 2013


I decided to post this was because when I first saw it, I could not tell if I was being trolled or not. Then I saw, yes, she actually has 167 god-damned blog posts about sandwiches and has pretty good photos and that is a very long row to hoe for teh lulz.

But then, this couple can't exactly be ignorant of how many hackles this would raise so it must be, in some part trolling/book deal shilling. And then I figured, this would be the thing the Internet would be talking about to get through a boring Wednesday, and the Internet did not disappoint with #300feministsandwiches.
posted by fontophilic at 2:04 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's a Mediterranean style fruit wrap with yogurt dressing: Lettuce, pita, endive, two grape, cultures. #300feministsandwiches
posted by Skwirl at 2:05 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


My biggest issue? This stunt's not interesting enough for metafilter.
posted by applemeat at 2:09 PM on September 25, 2013


betting on which raindrop will hit the bottom of the window first is interesting enough for metafilter as long as one raindrop's a girl and the other's a boy
posted by pyramid termite at 2:12 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


The Bella Ab-Sub

Comes with a free hat. Free hat. Free hat. Free hat.
posted by NedKoppel at 2:26 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


betting on which raindrop will hit the bottom of the window first is interesting enough for metafilter as long as one raindrop's a girl and the other's a boy

Let the water freeze 1st so each drop becomes its own unique and very special snowflake - just like every other snowflake in the snow pile.
posted by rough ashlar at 2:31 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Lilly Limburger Act.
posted by NedKoppel at 2:31 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


So, next June 16 will be Metafilter Sandwich Day? (Brandon, you might wanna call Subway ahead of time....)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:38 PM on September 25, 2013


Bravo to MeFi's Own Linda_Holmes for the twit-spiration that is #300feministsandwiches, which unless I have miscounted, has had nearly 300 entries in the last HOUR.

And as for the woman behind the whole meme, she works for the NEW YORK POST and RUPERT MURDOCH. She knows all about dedicating her life to a dysfunctional relationship.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 PM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


I did not fight for equal rights in the seventies through the present, so this idiot can show her man-child boyfriend that she's "wife material."

Ah equal rights and freedom to choose one's own life course. Double-edged sword, that. As long as they're both happy with each other, and apparently well-fed, it's a bit of a stretch to claim a stranger's political agitation four decades ago entitles her to veto their (tongue-in-cheek?) roleplaying. Critique away, but no one's earned the prerogative to deny this woman the right to her relationship of preference.
posted by perhapsolutely at 3:03 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Ick. Man, after reading the article I thought, oh well I guess whatever you gotta do to pay the bills on your fucking Brooklyn townhome. But then I started reading her blog and...that man is an ASSHOLE. Seriously. Half the posts contain little desperate sounding asides about how little of his weight he pulls around the house and in their lives, followed of course by equally desperate backtracking. Not helping: friends and family that also seem eager to undermine her contributions and abilities.

Hope that book deal nets her enough to leave his sorry ass in the dust. All of their sorry asses.
posted by like_a_friend at 3:05 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Did Melissa Gorga write this blog before she went to the Burger King to poop?
posted by pearlybob at 3:06 PM on September 25, 2013


To everyone saying it's just an inside joke that doesn't play well to a wide audience - well, shoulda thought of that before buying a domain name, right? That's a decision to make before trying to play it for that larger audience, not something that audience has to correct for.

Keep inside jokes inside.
posted by mdn at 3:34 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I know everyone's hating on the husband, but can we spare some hate for the author, who seems to be a willing participant in the movement to turn the sandwich from something inherently casual and cobbled together into just another lifestyle accessory for instagram users?
posted by anewnadir at 3:50 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


From the very first post of her blog:

“Make me a sandwich.”

That’s what my boyfriend, E, asks without fail every morning. Not “babe, where are my keys?” Not, “honey, where are my socks?” And no, not even, “c’mon, just the tip?”

Sandwiches. Doesn’t matter what kind. Two pieces of bread, some meat and cheese and he’s in heaven.



He gave me a challenge—a dare, to some degree—and the type-A, Tracy Flick side of me can’t stand being challenged. I will prove to him and the rest of the world I can make the 300 sandwiches.
posted by Bwithh at 3:51 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think we're all missing a critical question: will the tie-in book be a cookbook? Or a relationship manual?


Title: To Serve Man. It's a cookbook!

The last sandwich is him.
posted by bibliowench at 3:52 PM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


Her writing style is actually making me feel disgusted by sandwiches.

And, for that matter, life itself.
posted by kyrademon at 4:27 PM on September 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


What's worse: the misogyny, or the fact that it's in support of a diamond industry that suckered everyone into buying their bullshit?
posted by rifflesby at 4:48 PM on September 25, 2013


(Just kidding -- they're both horrible. You don't have to choose.)
posted by rifflesby at 4:49 PM on September 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


#300feministsandwiches is amazing; particularly the smaller text-based jokes, like the "Reubyn" and the "Croque Ms."
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 4:55 PM on September 25, 2013


*checks to see if 300blowjobs.com has been registered*

"You've been up for 15 minutes and..."

boy has marriage turned out differently than 14 year old Slarty had hoped
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:15 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


Does anyone know where this sexist "make me a sandwich" thing came from?

I find it hard to believe that this woman's boyfriend actually says this. This seems like a 40 Days of Dating sort of gimmick website.
posted by jayder at 5:36 PM on September 25, 2013


It's supposed to be cutsie (not really)
Or serious (WTF?)
Or looking for a book contract (shilling, not pretty)
Or some sort of self-expression (meh)

This looks like better reading.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:41 PM on September 25, 2013


It came from SNL, apparently.
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 5:45 PM on September 25, 2013


The boyfriend is now being headlined by The Daily Dot as "The Internet's Worst Boyfriend". Besides the label being wildly inaccurate, Stephanie and Eric don't deserve that level of blowback.
posted by Bwithh at 6:02 PM on September 25, 2013


I don't think he deserves all that, no. This is twee and obnoxious but mostly on her.
posted by sweetkid at 6:10 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm sure he isn't the internet's worst boyfriend, but they really did invite that sort of response, with the whole "make me a sandwich" thing. It doesn't matter if they themselves think it's a funny little off-hand remark (or an artfully put together piece of performance link bait). They knew perfectly well that saying something controversial is a great way to get attention, and now they have it.
posted by Kaleidoscope at 6:11 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


I also totally agree they invited this response. This is like nth degree more annoying than 40 days of dating.
posted by sweetkid at 6:26 PM on September 25, 2013


Really good sandwiches are way too much trouble to make at home, it's just this elaborate and laborious process of slicing and spreading and pre-whatevering for something that is meant to be a quick, satisfying and convenient meal. And then when you go out, you order the fancy sandwich and it's like fifteen bucks and you think "Jesus Christ I could have made this at home." Sandwiches are the worst of all possible worlds.

That said, I make one with rare roast beef and sauerkraut and red onion and a bunch of other shit and you grill it and it will knock your face off. But I wouldn't be making it for some skinny fuckin' nerd with weird wig-hair who is "obsessed with 'Star Wars'" which is literally one of the most annoying things a person can be these days.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:28 PM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


I admit to starting #300feministsandwiches, which is perhaps my proudest stupid pun moment ever.

You forgot a t.

The way I see it, you have a man that predominantly does the cooking and supposedly does quite the decent job at it. The woman's mother, when she says she's going to make 300 sandwiches asks, "Can you even cook?" so we can assume she's not exactly at his skill level of cooking (is sandwich making even cooking?). My point? He seems to be pulling his weight domestically. She obviously seems him as a worthy and desirable partner. Remember, she's the one telling this story. If she's not offended by the comment I don't know why others should be. If she'd written that his comment was horrible and horrid and he should feel bad, then maybe I would pile on as well, but she's agreeable. I've learned two things in my 43 years on this planet: 1. Don't bother getting offended on the behalf of people who aren't offended. It's a waste of your time. 2. What happens between consenting adults is their fucking business. (Sure, in this case they made it public, but I still find it easier to not sit in judgement.)

If anything I feel for the guy. After that Julie and Julia movie/book I'd not want to be the continuous subject of someone's writing.

I hate these made for a bog and a book contract type stories, but you try doing something for a year, while blogging about it, then do an article/interview on the experience and see how metafilter treats you. Seriously, like I said, not a fan of these types of projects, but I do commend her for putting it out there and actually doing something creative.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:31 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I get the inside jokeyness not translating well outside of the relationship. And I feel like the goal of feminism is that every woman gets to live the life SHE wants to live, without being held back because of her gender.

So if she wants to be the sandwich maker, I'm good with that.

But I agree that the jokiness seems to have an edge to it, too. Like it started out cute and all. Maybe she wants to cook for him like he cooks for her but he's the chef and she can't really cook, so he says, hey, why don't you make me a sandwich instead, and it just escalated from there.

But then once she heard "engagement ring" the joke ceased to be a joke. Shit got real.

"Wow, an engagement ring for 300 sandwiches!!! I want a marquise cut diamond, set in a white gold band. Size six ring finger. At least three carats, Mister!"
"Wait, what? No, I--"
"That's what you SAID. 300 sandwiches = one engagement ring. Were you LYING?!"
"Seriously?!"
Angry silence.
"Wow. Okay, okay, look, sure, 300 sandwiches, great, you get a ring--"
"HA!"
"--As long as you don't screw them up with any of my forbidden foods, of course."
"What the hell? What do you mean, forbidden foods? Like what exactly?"
"That's for me to know, and you to find out."
"Oh, that's real mature. Seriously, dude, I'm making you 300 frickin' sandwiches, isn't that enough?"
"DO YOU WANT THE RING OR NOT, WOMAN?!"
posted by misha at 6:31 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


So if she wants to be the sandwich maker, I'm good with that.

That's the reading I take away too. It's not like this is indentured servitude. She can walk away whenever being with a successful man that cooks for her in return becomes too onerous.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:35 PM on September 25, 2013


That conversation sounds horrible.
posted by sweetkid at 6:35 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have no idea how tabloid newspapers like the NY Post work but is it normal for the editor to allow a personal article by one of their staff reporters (a fairly junior one from the gossip column desk in this case) to run a piece promoting their personal blog- which looks like a pitch for a book deal?
posted by Bwithh at 6:43 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Generally not. If she was doing the blog as part of her journalism, then yes. Otherwise most papers go out of their way to make sure employees aren't in the paper. I worked for a paper for 13 years and we'd even nix photos of kids playing in a public pool (Hot Days of Summer) because their parents worked in Advertising.

If it caught on outside of her job, and became a thing, then they would probably still cover it, just not first.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:47 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


But then once she heard "engagement ring" the joke ceased to be a joke. Shit got real.

"Wow, an engagement ring for 300 sandwiches!!! I want a marquise cut diamond, set in a white gold band. Size six ring finger. At least three carats, Mister!"
"Wait, what? No, I--"
[...]


I am totally up for misha creating dialog for all future threads.
posted by amorphatist at 6:54 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


That said, I make one with rare roast beef and sauerkraut and red onion and a bunch of other shit and you grill it and it will knock your face off. But I wouldn't be making it for some skinny fuckin' nerd with weird wig-hair who is "obsessed with 'Star Wars'" which is literally one of the most annoying things a person can be these days.

....and there it is. Peak Nerd. Now we will be returning to well socialized, athletic and conformist-coiffed men as the objects undeserved sandwiches. (As in, the handsome pro-chef sangweech fetishist in TFA)
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:06 PM on September 25, 2013


Foccacia with Basil, Tomato, and mozzabell hooks
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:08 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I wonder if Stephanie got played by her editor? Maybe she went to the editor with this crazy idea without thinking clearly enough about possible blowback and the totes jaded and cynical editor made an exception and OK'd it because s/he secretly knew there would be huge blowback on the web dumping on her and her boyf (but its all ok if they get book deal but whatevs) but on other hand loadsa page hits and publicity for NYPost . It's certainly the most attention I've given NYPost for a few years.
posted by Bwithh at 7:11 PM on September 25, 2013


Well, it's pretty ingrained in our culture that a man has to (a) prove his love, and (b) is more likely to be on board with marriage if it's his idea rather than hers first. This is...pretty much going with that. I remember reading one pre-wedding book once (I Do But I Don't, I think?) about the angst women go through while waiting on him to propose, but knowing he wanted to be the one to do it, so they couldn't....FUN TIMEZ.

Yeah, some men seem to believe that to be proposed to would be emasculating. And there's the idea that even if your male significant other says yes to your proposal, if you, as a woman, ask, you must essentially be trapping him/strong-arming him into it because women want marriage and men don't. And also if you're not asked you're not really worthy of love. There's that, too.

I didn't really realize that people felt that way until my mother-in-law was incredibly embarrassed that my husband had a ring (because I proposed to him), and I didn't. She even bought me one and expected me to lie to people about it, saying he gave it to me, which was the weirdest thing ever.

She should have just made me a sandwich.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:12 PM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


[Comment removed. We don't do that ironic racism thing here.]
posted by jessamyn at 7:23 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


conformist-coiffed men

He has wig-hair! His hair literally looks like a wig! He looks like somebody who was hired to play Julian Assange in a made-for-television movie but he's normally got curly ginger hair so they had the special effects people make him a wig but it doesn't fit properly because his skull is too big. Filled, no doubt, with trivia about who Jabba the Hutt's father is (hint: it's Zorba the Hutt). But I bet if he was cornered, it's not trivia and it's not the spaceships and laserbeams that appeal to him, it's because he "loves stories". Goddamn.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


In conclusion he is Benny Crumbles and we should shun him.
posted by elizardbits at 7:47 PM on September 25, 2013


I'm shocked no one has posted this yet; from the bio:

"One day, I made E a turkey and swiss sandwich on toasted wheat bread. E got so excited, he ate the entire meal without coming up for air. Then he made the declaration, “honey, you’re three hundred sandwiches away from an engagement ring.”

I had no idea a sandwich could be so transformative. In turn, I hit the kitchen.

300 Sandwiches tracks the journey between two people in love as they share experiences and emotions through food. The blog chronicles our adventures, arguments, holidays, special times and average days over the course of 300 sandwiches.

I will learn how to cook amazing food, we will learn more about each other, and hopefully my boyfriend will make good on his promise.

Even if he doesn’t, the journey will be tasty enough for me. And I hope for you, too.
"

It seems pretty clear to me, your mileage may vary, that the "300 sandwiches" line was a throwaway bit of hyperbolic joking. Seriously, who proposes over a turkey sandwich?

Reading the rest of it sounds pretty healthy, the 300 sandwiches is a macguffin (or a red herring, or both, whatever).

Judge not, etc.
posted by oddman at 7:50 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


No the "this is what I'm doing to get that ring" bit is still gross.

Judge not, etc.

I still don't understand this. She made a blog and got it a huge profile and an NYPost article. People are going to talk about it. It's not all going to be neutral.

I don't think we had all this tsk tsking in other attention-blog posts like 40 Days of Dating.
posted by sweetkid at 7:56 PM on September 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I don't think we had all this tsk tsking in other attention-blog posts like 40 Days of Dating.

No, and it's interesting to wonder why. I think that with 40 Days, you had two people doing something that seemed to explicitly deviate from expected social norms and was framed as being high concept; the players also advertised natural deficiencies. (I think Tim labeled himself a serial dater?) Here, you have two people who seem to both be perfectly happy and moving towards a very ordinary social goal in a safe manner but who have a particular off-color joke that they seem to be framing in very negative light.

I think that the key element is that the couple seem totally happy about everything. As such, for all the toolish phrasing, it feels kind of mean.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:25 PM on September 25, 2013


They're still doing this for the self promotion. I think "worst boyfriend ever" is too far but " she's making sandwiches to get that ring" is going to invite snark and they knew it.
posted by sweetkid at 8:28 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


It would have been entirely easy to do a "300 sandwiches, look at me learning to cook" blog without the creeptastic framing around earning a ring and letting someone else determine the pacing of your relationship opportunities. It probably just wouldn't have anyone reading it because it'd be like 200 other sandwich and look-at-me-learning-to-cook blogs.

I like sandwiches, I like cooking, I like blogs, but I don't like the stupid-ass marketing here.

LindaHolmes, you are my hero for creating that hashtag. I just spent a gleeful half-hour inventing feminist sandwiches on Twitter.
posted by Miko at 9:08 PM on September 25, 2013 [11 favorites]


I agree with you, turbid dahlia, that making sandwiches at home is not easy. You need a bunch of stuff, but everything in smallish quantities. You need some kind of really good, really fresh bread. I don't make a lot of them. At the same time, only sandwiches I make myself at home ever seem really fantastic to me. The total customization, the slight obsessiveness with which I put the layers together - only I can do that to my own specifications. And man, it's delicious when I have the materials and the gumption.
posted by Miko at 9:12 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh dear! Poor Stephanie. She has made all these beautiful sandwiches and the internet has given her a shit sandwich in return.
posted by unliteral at 9:26 PM on September 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


E’s assessment of this morning’s sandwich: “Boring. Unimaginative. Lazy. It’s like you sat on the couch and ate Cheetos instead of making me a nice breakfast. I have nothing nice to say.”

Man, E is such a dick on this blog. He's always insulting her sandwiches. I guess she thinks it's cute and funny.
posted by pineappleheart at 9:39 PM on September 25, 2013 [8 favorites]


It seems pretty clear to me, your mileage may vary, that the "300 sandwiches" line was a throwaway bit of hyperbolic joking. Seriously, who proposes over a turkey sandwich?

This actually sounds like a good, wacky web-2.0 thing to do that would net the person who puts it on Youtube a solid ten million internet dollars.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:54 PM on September 25, 2013


I remember everyone really hating that obnoxious self-absorbed 40 Days of Dating couple, although it's possible that it wasn't actually everyone but really just me.
posted by naoko at 10:11 PM on September 25, 2013


I really can't tell if this really is intended as subtle satire or if the boyfriend really is the atavistic carb troll he comes off as, who awakes each morning turgid and bellowing

IS MY SANDWICH DOWRY NOT YET COMPLETE, ONLY THEN WILL I COUNTENANCE SHACKLING YOU INTO MATRIMONY WHAT IS THIS, MAYO UNDER THE MEAT I SAID ABOVE

It is idiots like these who are ensuring I can no longer enjoy the simple pleasure of a bread based meal that happens, this time, to have been made for me by my partner rather than vice versa, without wondering if I am either engaged in reinforcing outmoded heteronormative power structures, or trangressive play re: same.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:28 PM on September 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


YOU MUST EAT MY 300 SANDWICHES IN THE COURSE OF 300 SECONDS IF YOU WANT TO EARN MY HAND
posted by oceanjesse at 10:44 PM on September 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Since this thread is also about sandwiches a little bit, I'll share with you guys the recipe for the super-incredible sandwich I invented recently.

First you cook some bacon in your oven 'til it's crunchy. Sprinkle some rosemary and black pepper on it before you put it in, your house will smell amazing. Once it's cooked, toast three slices of whole wheat.

On one slice of toast, you spread a real thin layer of creamy peanut butter, just slightly more than a scrape. Sprinkle with red pepper flakes. Add three strips of bacon, a slice of your favorite non-overpowering cheese (like muenster or baby swiss), then two or three slices of tomato.

On another slice of toast, you spread some Branston Pickle (It's too expensive on Amazon, you're better off trying to find like a World Foods market or something if you live in the US). That goes face-down on what you have so far, and the other side gets a spread of mayo. Then sliced cucumber, another slice of cheese, three more strips of bacon.

The last slice of toast gets a thin spread of cream cheese (not as thin as the peanut butter but not too much either.) Grind some black pepper onto that, and that's the top of the sandwich.

Smash it down with the palm of your hand, as flat as you can make it, and cut it into triangles. Wear a tight hat so your head doesn't explode while eating.
posted by rifflesby at 10:53 PM on September 25, 2013 [10 favorites]


Much like the 40daysofdating tripe, I am convinced this entire idea is utterly contrived and is nothing more than an attempt to secure a book or tv deal based on the concept.
posted by modernnomad at 2:10 AM on September 26, 2013


That's what makes the whole idea so stupid for both of them. He looks like a jerk and she looks like someone with no self esteem who views his belittling entitlement as affectionate 'ribbing'. It's a gross publicity stunt, but dang if you're going to do a stunt surely you will want one that doesn't make you both look terrible?
posted by winna at 2:14 AM on September 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


Are sandwiches really that hard to make that only two can be made per week? This is such an obvious pitch for a book its pathetic: I would guess that the conversation is probably fabricated. Which makes it all the more gross to me that she seems to be unthinkingly reinforcing these horrid stereotypes and making her boyfriend sound like a douche.

I have some sympathy for the posters suggesting that their relationship is probably better than we are perceiving, because that probably is the case, but every single word hse has written about this makes it sound horrible. DTMFA.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 2:49 AM on September 26, 2013


My husband makes my sandwiches for lunch each day, there was no proposal or wedding (just a discussion followed by a short legal ceremony two weeks later), and I bought my own wedding ring, so I guess I'm doing it wrong?

Actually, I know I'm doing it wrong because I've been told several times by judgey co-workers and the like how I'm a child, unable to take basic care of myself, need to grow up, useless, etc, because I do less than 50% of the food preparation in our household. People are have really fixed ideas about what's acceptable for household chores and food prep in general, even more so than weddings in my experience. Having a non-traditional wedding was totally fine but god forbid that I have a man make my lunch each day.

And I'm guessing this 300 sandwich women knew that when she set this all up, it's coming across as a really cynical play for attention to me.
posted by shelleycat at 3:00 AM on September 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


You need a bunch of stuff, but everything in smallish quantities.

This is why the best sandwiches come from leftovers. The day-after-Thanksgiving sandwich is my favorite thing ever.
posted by Daily Alice at 3:17 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


The day-after-Thanksgiving sandwich is my favorite thing ever.

Then you might love this Action Bronson sandwich video.
posted by inigo2 at 5:13 AM on September 26, 2013


HA HA the NY Post response to the response to the original article says that mean feminist bullies have ruined everything.

I think they need some lullabies to soothe them.
posted by elizardbits at 5:52 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


nb i refer to the print edition, which was just shown on NY1; the online version sadly does not feature the phrase "mean feminists"
posted by elizardbits at 5:55 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some new #300feministsandwiches faves this morning:

Gryo vs. Wade
Susan BLT Anthony
Grilled PortaBella Abzug
Happy Equally Paid Waitress
The Bechdeli Test: 2 different types of good cheese, separated by something other than meat. #300feministsandwiches

There's also a note on the 300 Sandwiches Facebook that they'll be on NBC Today this morning at 8:20...which I guess means they were on Today, by now.
posted by Miko at 5:59 AM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


Today we probably find out that the couple are fake, the blog is fake, the sandwiches are fake, and the whole thing is an online performance thingie run by the horse ebooks / pronounciation duo.
posted by Wordshore at 6:07 AM on September 26, 2013


Ladies, I think it's time to realize that if you need to do something like this to get a proposal, the guy isn't that into you. This guy will always have the power over her in the relationship so it will likely never be a true partnership, because it sounds like she is much more into him than vice versa.

It's hard, but this lady needs to DTMFA and open a sandwich shop.
posted by reenum at 6:34 AM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


From the follow-up:

"This project is not about me promoting myself as some gourmet chef, nor a desperate plot to win Eric’s love — or a movie deal or Internet fame.

It’s an idea that made us laugh and made for a good, lighthearted blog with some drool- inducing sandwich photos."


I kind of don't believe this, on account of how the light-heared blog was in the NY Post and all. But, I also didn't even think a movie deal could come out of this. The book would be an intermediary step, right?
posted by RainyJay at 7:13 AM on September 26, 2013


I think it could go straight to movie.
posted by Miko at 7:38 AM on September 26, 2013


That woman that did a blog about cooking everything in Julia Child's cookbook got a movie deal, so why not sandwiches?
posted by COD at 7:49 AM on September 26, 2013


That came up upthread. She wrote a book first.
posted by Miko at 7:49 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Gag. It's impossible for me to defend her at all the more of her blog I read. They come across as an awful relationship.
posted by agregoli at 7:49 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


I would watch a movie about this if it was like Love Exposure, but with pictures of sandwiches.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:50 AM on September 26, 2013


That woman that did a blog about cooking everything in Julia Child's cookbook got a movie deal, so why not sandwiches?

I found that movie kind of irritating, but I have nothing against her getting sandwiches.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:51 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


I found that movie kind of irritating

That movie had Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep in it. I don't care how twee the rest of it was, YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
posted by phunniemee at 7:59 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


People, we are so close to 300 comments. I know you can do it!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:00 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Stanley Tucci/Meryl Streep part was a whole other movie that was decent. The Amy Adams part was unbearable, which is a huge negative achievement because I usually love her. Even in that obnoxious 1930s movie she did.
posted by sweetkid at 8:02 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


300th comment gets to marry mathowie's bike!
posted by phunniemee at 8:03 AM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


This is one sandwich I meant to make this summer, Diane's Dad's Sandwich
Olesen says this sandwich tastes best when the ingredients are impeccably fresh, thinly sliced and added in the order listed. She suggests serving it with blue corn chips.

Makes one sandwich
posted by fontophilic at 8:46 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Stanley Tucci/Meryl Streep part was a whole other movie that was decent.

Yeah, I loved that movie, and couldn't understand why they kept interrupting it with some irrelevant dumb movie. Talk about editing mistakes.
posted by rtha at 8:49 AM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


There are ways to have done this that would have made me think, "Eh, it's just a joke between them, no big deal" and I would have forgotten about this. Unfortunately....the more you read, the more creeped out you feel and realize that on some level, this is not "for fun." He may have said the original comment as a flip joke and she hopped on it as one, but the overall tone of them, as far as I can tell is,

(a) dude wants his woman to be making him sandwiches allllllllllll the time, and is kind of rude about it in ways that skeeve me out, even if he supposedly does the cooking the rest of the time.
(b) on some level, she is trying to publicly prove her wifeliness and ability to earn a proposal. I don't know how aware of that she is, but that is the vibe I get.

I wonder what will happen with the relationship when she can finally be all, "Here's sandwich #300, WHERE IS MY RING?" and what happens if he still doesn't want to cough one up by then.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:56 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


I wonder what will happen with the relationship when she can finally be all, "Here's sandwich #300, WHERE IS MY RING?" and what happens if he still doesn't want to cough one up by then.

Comedy!

One lives in hope that she'll write a Modern Love column about it.
posted by winna at 9:03 AM on September 26, 2013


I just saw the happy couple on NBC's Today breakfast show this morning. Stephanie looked gorgeous and Eric actually looks like a scrawnier geeky brogrammer version of Jamie Lannister. They didn't mention the online backlash, I think .
posted by Bwithh at 9:41 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


That NYPost follow up article where Stephanie talks about the feminist " 'wich hunt" she and her bf went through
posted by Bwithh at 9:51 AM on September 26, 2013


feminist "wich hunt"

I know she is so proud of herself for thinking of that.

I have a favorite summer sandwich I did not get to have this summer. It's grilled fresh tomato and goat cheese. This is insanely good. You need thick wheat or sourdough bread, a fresh garden tomato of the beefsteak/slicing variety, and some goat cheese. Herbed goat cheese is good. Just arrange the slices on the bread, salt lightly, and then dab with dollops of goat cheese. Place the other bread on top, and toast on both sides in a pan lightly wiped with butter. I am sad just describing it because I could not have one. My tomatoes did not perform this year. :(
posted by Miko at 10:01 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hey, you didn't serve any chips with those sandwiches.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:02 AM on September 26, 2013


feminist "wich hunt"

I know she is so proud of herself for thinking of that.


Well, she should be, that's pretty funny.
posted by amorphatist at 10:16 AM on September 26, 2013


But confusing. Where are these hungry feminists who are hunting for sandwiches?
posted by Going To Maine at 10:29 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, where are my sandwiches? Get cooking, lady.
posted by Miko at 10:37 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hey, you didn't serve any chips with those sandwiches.

Oh god now I'm thinking of chipwiches and trying to decide where I can procure one for lunch.
posted by phunniemee at 10:44 AM on September 26, 2013


Those sandwiches look photoshopped. At the very least they rubbed mayo on the lens.

Also the official term for that hairstyle is a "penis-head" or "dick head" or "mushroom cut" haircut. It's the go-to style for late 90s boy bands. I'd find you all a link but I'm at work.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:46 AM on September 26, 2013


It really is interesting to be in the position of actually knowing *for a fact* that the motivation behind something is not at all what it's being presented to be in some of the writing about it. Admittedly, I thought the sandwich thing was sort of dumb and made her boyfriend sound a little tooly, but the hashtag at least had nothing more behind it than when we were doing "#NPRdishes" and stuff one time. ("All Things Corn Salad.") It's just puns. I particularly have a weakness for [serious thing]/[frivolous thing] puns. They just make me laugh; that's all it was. I read a thing this morning that referred to that hashtag as a "hate-on," and I was like, "Wow, you've never seen me hate anything."
posted by Linda_Holmes at 11:14 AM on September 26, 2013 [13 favorites]


Something I've learned over the past two weeks: Sandwiches make an excellent breakfast. Seriously, it's little work, variations are easy change it up, is filling and is healthier than most regular breakfast food.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:33 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, we eat egg sandwiches constantly for breakfast at my house. For my feminist 'wich cred, I taught my non-cookery-inclined boyfriend to make them and now he makes them for me all the time. Make a man a breakfast sandwich, he eats breakfast. Teach a man to make a breakfast sandwich...and yay, endless breakfast sandwiches with no messy work!
posted by Miko at 12:22 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


I just made myself a goat, mashed potato, cheddar, spinach, and wasabi-mayo sammich on some sorta sourdough. I am 299 sammiches away from marrying myself!

...though it isn't technically legal in Massachusetts. The marrying myself part.

posted by not_on_display at 3:13 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't forget that grilled cheese I made you! Or does it not count if you just make the same perfect sandwich over and over again? Is pizza a sandwich if you fold it in half? Do I have to marry that guy at The Depot?
posted by jessamyn at 3:34 PM on September 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


If it isn't really about a book deal or a TED talk or pagerank or anything except courting and sandwiches then I.do.not.understand. But it wouldn't be the first time, alors.
posted by jfuller at 3:37 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Folded pizza is only a sandwich if there are two or more toppings; this is a rule I have just now made up but nevertheless feel is entirely valid.
posted by elizardbits at 3:43 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


What if I put a slice of pizza face-down on top of another slice of pizza? And then toast it like a grilled cheese... shit where's my patent application
posted by rifflesby at 4:16 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


NO WAIT you should batter it and deep fry it and sell it in Colorado and you will make one billion dollars
posted by elizardbits at 4:24 PM on September 26, 2013


This is making whatever I'm having for dinner seem disappointing (and reasonable) by comparison.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:57 PM on September 26, 2013


Is pizza a sandwich if you fold it in half?

Sort of, yes.
posted by Wordshore at 6:15 PM on September 26, 2013


Is pizza a sandwich if you fold it in half

Why would you start this. Surely we all remember cereal, soup.
posted by sweetkid at 6:28 PM on September 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


jessamyn: "Don't forget that grilled cheese I made you! Or does it not count if you just make the same perfect sandwich over and over again? Is pizza a sandwich if you fold it in half? Do I have to marry that guy at The Depot?"

1) (droooool)
2) (droool)
3) yes
4) no friggin' pickles!*

*This inside joke brought to you by The Randolph Depot
posted by not_on_display at 6:38 PM on September 26, 2013


Why would you start this.

If you want to agitate an English person with a culinary question, just ask them if a Jaffa Cake is a cake, or a biscuit. Generational feuds, minor wars, schisms and family fractures have been caused by this.
posted by Wordshore at 6:44 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Is pizza a sandwich if you fold it in half?

Sort of, yes.
posted by Wordshore at 6:15 PM on September 26
[+] [!]


I believe a calzone is a pie not a sandwich. unfortunately, though, America has a very limited idea of what a pie is.
posted by Bwithh at 8:01 PM on September 26, 2013


A calzone is a sort of pasty or turnover, no?

Cereal is not a soup and I don't even care.
posted by elizardbits at 8:06 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Soup is basically a wet salad.
posted by rifflesby at 8:22 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I believe a calzone is a pie not a sandwich.

I agree; despite its bloated American cousins, a calzone is a hand pie, in the way an empanada is.

A frittata is a pie. A pizza is a pie. Coconut Cream is a pie, and an empanada is a pie. I have a broad American definition of pie and I agree that a calzone is one.
posted by Miko at 8:24 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Soup is basically a wet salad.
posted by rifflesby at 8:22 PM on September 26 [1 favorite +] [!]


But can a salad be 100% animal? Only if it's jellyfish
posted by Bwithh at 9:13 PM on September 26, 2013


Who wants my jellyfish?
I'm not sellyfish!

posted by emjaybee at 9:56 PM on September 26, 2013


What is the fundamental difference between a hand pie and a turnover or pasty? Is it a regional difference of language or is it something due to the fundamental makeup of each item?
posted by elizardbits at 9:58 PM on September 26, 2013


Mike, Coconut Cream Pie is not just a pie, it is the bestest pie ever. I really need a recipe for a good one.

You are 299 pie references away from an engagement ring!
posted by misha at 10:30 PM on September 26, 2013


That's part of what makes me think this isn't so tongue in cheek. There's a bit of "guys are like this, girls are like that" running through the whole thing, and the guy cooking doesn't negate that.

Not to mention that I have discovered via facebook and becoming an Old that a very large majority of married/coupled women I know do the bulk of the cooking for their men, anyway*. The worst is anytime a facebook friend complains about having to get up extra early to make her man lunch for work.

Clearly men make their own damn sandwiches before they settle down/get married/etc. I'm sure these women love these guys, but seriously any dude who would wake his SO up at 6AM to make him lunch is a sadistic prick.

*Yes, I know it's stated that the guy in this particular situation "does most of the cooking", though I'm still putting in that in quotes because uh huh yeah I'm so sure.
posted by Sara C. at 10:44 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


*Yes, I know it's stated that the guy in this particular situation "does most of the cooking", though I'm still putting in that in quotes because uh huh yeah I'm so sure.

The guy skeeves me out and, while it's probably a personal joke between the couple and essentially Not As Bad As It Appears, the whole 'make me a sandwich' thing isn't one I think is great.

But why would you doubt her on that particular detail? At what point in the article/s do you think that she must be lying because otherwise it doesn't fit the personal narrative you have for them?

I did, though, idly wonder what would happen if it was revealed they were in a Secretary-like relationship (as opposed to an eminently horrible 50 Shades-style relationship), how that would change people's reactions...
posted by gadge emeritus at 11:22 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


50 hours for a $10K ring
Woah, wait - is $10k normal for an engagement ring? For something that you could lose taking the rubbish to the outside bin?

I'd rather my boyfriend proposed to me with a springer spaniel. At least it would bring me my slippers.
posted by mippy at 1:55 AM on September 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


SEriously, I'm broody about cats and dogs the way that over-30 women in Hollywood films are for babies.
posted by mippy at 3:27 AM on September 27, 2013


What is the fundamental difference between a hand pie and a turnover or pasty?

I would say there is no difference. I go with those who call pie "a sweet or savory filling in a pastry crust." It can be enclosed or not enclosed, and any size. Turnovers are hand pies.
posted by Miko at 4:22 AM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


What is the fundamental difference between a hand pie and a turnover or pasty?

They are indeed fundamentally different. A pie has the same texture, no matter at which point on the perimeter you attack it.

However, a pasty has a more pastry, crustier section of perimeter, and a more smoother, filling-centric portion of the perimeter.

In addition, a pie is typically circular or rectangular in appearance, whereas a pasty is typically D-shaped. Indeed, to qualify as a genuine Cornish Pasty, the item does need to be D-shaped. The Cornish Pasty was thus traditionally configured so it can be held, by the crustier perimeter, and eaten by miners:

1) easily in dark conditions
2) partially, with the held crusty portion remaining uneaten to limit ingestion of coal dust from the miners hands

A bit like eating a cut sandwich by holding it by the long crust edge, then not eating the crust portions.

No, a pie and a pasty are fundamentally different. Please don't visit Kernow and attempt to say they are similar or the same, as this may cause grave offense and an incident may occur.
posted by Wordshore at 6:01 AM on September 27, 2013


To be fair, let's use a sandwich as a reference point.
She started the blog on 6/14/2012. She was on sandwich #176 on 9/26/2013. She took 469 days to make 176 sandwiches, or 0.375266524520256 sandwiches a day.

I did a little research and found only an annual reference point to 1809 as the point where women achieved the right to common law property in Connecticut as being at least a legal start to equality in the united states... it was the best I could find for a start point to the feminist movement...

Women have been fighting for equal rights for roughly 28,602 sandwiches.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:10 AM on September 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm glad I'm not a Cornish miner, because the thick crust part of the pasty is my favorite bit.
posted by jb at 6:28 AM on September 27, 2013


I'm pretty sure on the list of reasons why I'm glad I'm not a Cornish miner, that's toward the bottom of the list.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:29 AM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


But why would you doubt her on that particular detail?

Because she keeps referring to him as "the gourmet chef in the house" and things like that, which to me doesn't sound like the person who does all the cooking, it sounds like the person who spends the most money at Wiliams-Sonoma.

They live in New York. They probably mostly eat out.
posted by Sara C. at 7:44 AM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


She specifically wrote, in the follow up article, "For those who think I’m sacrificing myself for Eric, know that he does most of the cooking, often having dinner ready when I come home late from work. "
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:46 AM on September 27, 2013


What is the fundamental difference between a hand pie and a turnover or pasty?

In some parts of the anglophone world, certain types of savory hand-pies are called pasties.

In other parts of the anglophone world, they are just referred to as pies.

The end.
posted by Sara C. at 7:47 AM on September 27, 2013


BUT WHO IS RIGHT
posted by sweetkid at 7:49 AM on September 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Not to derail the pie chat, but I just had a piece of spaghetti cake. It was...good?
posted by Biblio at 8:31 AM on September 27, 2013


I've had a long held, radical belief, that cheesecake is a pie and not a cake. This has fueled several heated discussions, but I stand fast in my position. Crust = pie.
posted by fontophilic at 9:01 AM on September 27, 2013


Cheesecake does not have pastry and is therefore no kind of pie.
posted by shelleycat at 9:47 AM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


They live in New York. They probably mostly eat out.

Maybe. I was just thinking that there's more than enough stuff to mock and judge them with in the two articles that we don't need to start just making stuff up, claiming she's lying.

Not liking her is no reason to not at least take her at face value. Not without any history to go by.
posted by gadge emeritus at 9:48 AM on September 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure on the list of reasons why I'm glad I'm not a Cornish miner, that's toward the bottom of the list.

I'd rather have been a Cornish miner in the 18th or 19th centuries than an agricultural labourer at the same time. As bad as mining could be, it paid a lot more than other working class options at the time. (Still does, actually).
posted by jb at 12:01 PM on September 27, 2013


Because she keeps referring to him as "the gourmet chef in the house" and things like that, which to me doesn't sound like the person who does all the cooking, it sounds like the person who spends the most money at Wiliams-Sonoma.

I'm stoked about this because it means that my takeout-and-kitchen-gadget-loving self is a gourmet chef by this metric!
posted by winna at 1:56 PM on September 27, 2013


Cheesecake does not have pastry and is therefore no kind of pie.

Key lime pie also has no pastry and it is demonstrably a pie and not a cake.
posted by elizardbits at 1:58 PM on September 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Is that really true about the crust? Because wouldn't a Cornish miner have coal dust all up his nose and in his mouth and every pore and basically everything would taste like coal dust to him anyway?
posted by HotToddy at 2:00 PM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Beware: After a "wild auction," Warner Bros. has already bought the film rights to 40 Days of Dating.


(please don't shoot the messenger)
posted by argonauta at 3:07 PM on September 27, 2013


Actually error yes; I got my Welsh and Cornish miners mixed up. The latter was tin (not coal) mining predominantly, and the crusts were indeed held by the fingers and thrown away so the miners didn't end up eating the arsenic (not coal dust) that was on their hands.
posted by Wordshore at 3:17 PM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Aha, that makes more sense! Thanks for the followup, I'd never even heard of tin mining before. That sounds even worse than coal mining, if possible.
posted by HotToddy at 3:29 PM on September 27, 2013


cheesecake is a pie and not a cake

An interesting case. I think generally for cheesecake as we experience it today, culinary taxonomy would agree with you. A cheesecake is actually a tart (ingredients arrayed on top of flat crust), but a tart is a kind of pie. Using graham cracker cumbs as the tart crust is as modern an invention as using commercial cream cheese as the filling; before those 19th-century developments, the closest analogue to modern cheesecake would have been a cheese pie.
posted by Miko at 5:10 PM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cornish tin mining: BBC and Daily Mail.
posted by Wordshore at 5:14 PM on September 27, 2013


I'm stoked about this because it means that my takeout-and-kitchen-gadget-loving self is a gourmet chef by this metric!

Do you have a Y chromosome? If so, congratulations, you are now a gourmet chef!

Do you lack a Y chromosome? You are probably just "nesting" because you secretly want babies. If you bring any dude home to your kitchen-gadget infested apartment, he will probably (and justifiably!) dump you because it's an obvious sign that you are "desperate" or "needy". Also probably "high maintenance". Also, you should eat less takeout. It'll make you fat, and it proves that you do not know how to cook and thus will never land a man.
posted by Sara C. at 9:23 PM on September 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


One occult sandwich is worth 300 regular sandwiches
posted by medusa at 10:47 AM on September 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sara C., you didn't use to date this guy, did you?

Just kidding, but you are kinda coming across as super-judgey of this guy for made-up reasons (when there are plenty good enough ones in the actual article to go by).

First, insisting the guy most likely never cooks at all even though the blogger not only says he is a gourmet cook but also goes into detail about what he cooked for her on their first date, and then doubling down by saying, well, hey, he probably just calls himself a chef because he's got a kitchen full of Williams-Sonoma is pretty out there. It's like you're looking for reasons to make fun of him. It's a little weird, is all.

Consider: the guy is a sandwich-eating fanatic with rather unflattering hair sense who insists his girlfriend cater to his every dietary whim, including eschewing veggies he never even told her he didn't like. You've got plenty of material right there!
posted by misha at 6:10 PM on September 28, 2013


you are kinda coming across as super-judgey of this guy

You are kinda coming across as if you missed not just the point, but the entire topic, of her comment.
posted by Miko at 9:21 PM on September 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


Miko, I meant Sara C.'s whole line of conjecture about the guy not cooking, not her last comment in particular?
posted by misha at 10:04 PM on September 28, 2013


There are simple and obvious differences that anyone can easily use to identify whether a foodstuff is a pie, cake, tart, turnover, popover, pastry, or pastie.

But I'm not tellin'.
posted by kyrademon at 1:22 PM on September 29, 2013


I'd rather have been a Cornish miner in the 18th or 19th centuries than an agricultural labourer at the same time. As bad as mining could be, it paid a lot more than other working class options at the time. (Still does, actually).

Provided you lived long enough to spend it.

Being a woman, I'd not only NOT want to live in the past, in any profession, many days I am not that fond of the present. I'd actually like to live however far in the future it is that we are so blase about equality that there is no such thing as "first woman to do X!", there is equal representation of women in all branches of the government, art, and business, and anyone who has a problem with that is regarded as a confirmed throwback/cult member.

In that world, this article will be an extremely minor footnote buried in the database used only by gender historians or fad researchers.
posted by emjaybee at 6:35 PM on September 29, 2013


"Men think they have to do all these romantic things to woo a woman into marriage but what we’re looking for is pretty simple: just show me you can be a slob that I can clean up after all the time in order to feel like I have a purpose in life.”
posted by phunniemee at 6:41 AM on September 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


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