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Pennsylvania, you get field hockey
October 8, 2013 12:19 PM   Subscribe

If every US state got one sport what would it be?
posted by Bulgaroktonos (138 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
what? cornhole is a sport?
posted by fuzzypantalones at 12:21 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cheeseheads unite! Wisconsin gets pro football!
posted by carmicha at 12:22 PM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


But consider that, owing to the power of radio waves, large swaths of the state root for the St. Louis Cardinals, a fact that I find confusing and frankly disqualifying

This is their take on Illinois, why it gets 16 inch softball and not pro baseball. Of course, that's only something a non-baseball-fan would write because even a vague familiarity with the shame that is baseball in Chicago would readily explain what the writer sees as confusing.

16 inch softball makes sense too - besides heavy drinking, it's one of Chicago's top summer pastimes.
posted by IvoShandor at 12:22 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm happy to see DC make one of these maps, for once. Kickball is also a pretty good choice.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:23 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh, I would love to see the day when roller derby would get on a list like this. Seems like it's surely bigger than some of these items by now.
posted by evilangela at 12:24 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


My first guess would be 'college football', then I saw that Louisiana was picked for 'bass fishing'.

Then I realized that the only time I cared about college football was that it was just something for me (and my dad, and my uncles, and my cousins, and my grandfather) to talk about while I was bass fishing.
posted by The Giant Squid at 12:27 PM on October 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


This all seems pretty sound, actually.
posted by Iridic at 12:28 PM on October 8, 2013


Some odd choices to be sure (Alpine skiing in WYoming instead of Colorado?) but I'm glad that there is finally a stereotype about Delaware and that it is impossibly strange.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:28 PM on October 8, 2013


Heh.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:28 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Less Awesome Map: The Provinces Of Canada, By Regional Sport"

(I actually think this map is also awesome.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:28 PM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


The CFL isn't a sport!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:31 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Georgia gets tennis? Shouldn't that go to Tennessee?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:32 PM on October 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


I love this for fitting so much stuff so cleanly right on one page (and also for the choices being pretty well thought out).
posted by Wolfdog at 12:33 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Some odd choices to be sure (Alpine skiing in WYoming instead of Colorado?) but I'm glad that there is finally a stereotype about Delaware and that it is impossibly strange.

God bless whatever insane drunkard came up with Punkin Chunkin'.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:33 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Lacrosse? That's the Team Sport, but the actual State Sport of MD is Jousting.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:33 PM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


So, there's women's college basketball, college basketball and church basketball, but no state gets (men's) professional basketball?
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:34 PM on October 8, 2013


Maryland already has Jousting as its state sport. Yeah, thanks.
posted by Mr. Big Business at 12:34 PM on October 8, 2013


Lacrosse?

Well, a lot of those skills are pretty universal.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:34 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Iowa really loves wrestling.
posted by lineofsight at 12:36 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Considering it's the home for the college women's world series, I'm kind of surprised that Oklahoma didn't get fast-pitch softball.

Georgia gets tennis? Shouldn't that go to Tennessee?
I think New York should have gotten tennis. US Open, and all that, y'know.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:36 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cheeseheads unite! Wisconsin gets pro football!
posted by carmicha at 12:22 PM on October 8 [2 favorites −] Favorite added![!] \


And it's the only sports that matters baby!! Greeeeeen Baaaaaaaaay
posted by helmutdog at 12:37 PM on October 8, 2013


I didn't expect any state to get jai alai.
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:37 PM on October 8, 2013


Some odd choices to be sure (Alpine skiing in WYoming instead of Colorado?)

That, and South Dakota gets rodeo, where the icon they use is basically the same as the silhouette featured on Wyoming's license plate?

And Colorado has mountains, sure, but they're generally piles of sloppy choss and scree. I can name ten Colorado or Utah ski resorts off the top of my head, but not one for Wyoming.
posted by LionIndex at 12:39 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Huh, count me as someone who learned something today. From wikipedia: Balloon competitions[7] are often called "races" but they're most often a test of accuracy, not speed. For most competitive balloon flights, the goal is to fly as close as possible to one or more exact points called "targets".
posted by Metro Gnome at 12:39 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ohio (cornhole)

I don't like Ohio much, but that's a bit harsh.
posted by goethean at 12:39 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Field hockey?! Tha fuck?

*throws handful of batteries*
posted by orme at 12:41 PM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Some odd choices to be sure (Alpine skiing in WYoming instead of Colorado?)

If everyone gets one and you can't duplicate, you'll find yourself in situations where you have to give a state like Wyoming a more popular sport that could also go to a state that has more options.

Lacrosse? That's the Team Sport, but the actual State Sport of MD is Jousting.

They did get into that a bit. The Jousting Hall of Fame is in Virginia, so it's maybe not quite as clear as you'd think. Also, Marylanders actually care a lot about lacrosse whereas I have my doubts about jousting.
posted by Copronymus at 12:41 PM on October 8, 2013


Washington state should get Ultimate (don't call it Frisbee). Seems obvious to me.
posted by that's candlepin at 12:42 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


kiltedtaco: "I didn't expect any state to get jai alai."

I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure that this was given to Florida solely because of the opening credits to Miami Vice. (That is also the sum total of my knowledge of jai alai.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:44 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Skateboarding for SoCal; mountain biking for NorCal!
posted by TDIpod at 12:44 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't expect any state to get jai alai.

Gamblin' for when it's too hot to go to the dogtrack.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:45 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


As much as knew Maryland would be Lacrosse I was SO hoping it would be duckpin bowling.
posted by ShawnString at 12:48 PM on October 8, 2013


Ugh, of course New York is just about New York City.
posted by troika at 12:49 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


WTF is streetball? Handball?
posted by sweetkid at 12:50 PM on October 8, 2013


Indiana: yeah, ok.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:51 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]



Ugh, of course New York is just about New York City.


Virginia is apparently only about hunt country (steeplechase).
posted by sweetkid at 12:51 PM on October 8, 2013


I was going to complain about the skateboarding being all stereotypical, but then I saw Ohio and Delaware, and figured we probably got off easy.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:51 PM on October 8, 2013


College baseball for Nebraska displays a profound lack of grasp of Nebraskan culture.

Which is nothing to be ashamed of, I guess, but still...
posted by COBRA! at 12:51 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure Arizona's state sport these days is robbing pharmacies for Opana.
posted by phaedon at 12:52 PM on October 8, 2013


I think the fact that no two can have the same state sport makes this kind of dumb, like the "Church Basketball" for Utah.
posted by sweetkid at 12:54 PM on October 8, 2013


I think the no duplicates rules actually keeps this from being terribly boring. At least half the country would be some kind of football, otherwise.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:54 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Can someone tell me why there is an octopus in Michigan?
posted by fancyoats at 12:55 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Detroit Red Wings fans throw octopuses on the ice during games.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:57 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's a Detroit Red Wings thing.
posted by troika at 12:57 PM on October 8, 2013


Delighted to see Missouri got pro baseball! It was obvious the minute I moved here. People greet each other downtown with "going to the game?" And I was on a plane this past weekend that took off from St. Louis around the same time as the Cardinals game, and one of the flight attendants came onto the intercom halfway through the flight to update everyone with the baseball score.
posted by likeatoaster at 12:58 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Indeed, people in St. Louis love their baseball.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:00 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Marathon" is not a sport. Anyway, on behalf of Pennsylvania, I accept field hockey.
posted by Mister_A at 1:00 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Detroit Red Wings fans throw octopuses on the ice during games.

OMG it's like a real Whacking Day.

Poor octopi.
posted by sweetkid at 1:01 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Detroit Red Wings fans throw octopuses on the ice during games.

Ugh, leave it to the residents of self-proclaimed "Hockeytown" to call their dumb tradition of making some guy with a shovel clean up some slightly spoiled seafood that spent a couple hours in some drunk Michigander's pants "The Legend of the Octopus".
posted by Copronymus at 1:01 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Washington state should get Ultimate (don't call it Frisbee). Seems obvious to me"
 that's candlepin


And Candlepin Bowling (dom't call it "small-ball bowling") should go somewhere in north-eastern New England.
posted by not_on_display at 1:03 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


And why octopus? It's because, back in the early days of the league, you had to win 8 games to win the Cup, eh. That's 2 best-of-seven series, or so my friend Pete tells me.
posted by Mister_A at 1:05 PM on October 8, 2013


Ha, they say right on the map that Kansas gets men's college basketball instead of North Carolina only because Kansas doesn't have any other possible sports they could have used, while NC has NASCAR...
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:07 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fucking cornhole?!? And no bowling anywhere on the map. I call bullshit.
posted by slogger at 1:13 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


What, no murderball?
posted by planetesimal at 1:14 PM on October 8, 2013


What the hell is Octopus Hockey?
posted by Naberius at 1:16 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ha, they say right on the map that Kansas gets men's college basketball instead of North Carolina only because Kansas doesn't have any other possible sports they could have used, while NC has NASCAR...

Yeah, I'm a North Carolinian (well, expat North Carolinian but that counts) who loves college basketball and doesn't care about NASCAR, but I was fine with that choice. Are we better at college basketball than Kansas? Well of course we are, but they were playing first, and we've got other sports, so I'm happy to give it to them.

Also, if they'd given us college basketball it would have been at least partially because of Duke and I'd kind of rather lose than see Duke half win.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:18 PM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Rhode Island got sailing?

In a state with near-10% unemployment still, when San Francisco had the America's Cup races last month, and when Newport's mansions slouch sterile and staged, something a little more apropos might have been...petty corruption, say, or throwing rocks through the Victorian houses on the heights overlooking Woonsocket.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:18 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Great. Make St. Louis Cardinals fans even more insufferable, why don't you?
posted by OHSnap at 1:20 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Less Awesome Map: The Provinces Of Canada, By Regional Sport"
Haha, so true.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:21 PM on October 8, 2013



What the hell is Octopus Hockey?


Curling on LSD?
posted by ennui.bz at 1:21 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Ugh, of course New York is just about New York City.

No, because then the officially authorized sport would be complaining.
posted by elizardbits at 1:21 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


In the post-apocalypse, there will be only one sport: jugging. Also, the choice for Texas clearly should have been rollerball.
posted by fikri at 1:22 PM on October 8, 2013


when San Francisco had the America's Cup races last month,

Many around the Bay would Opine that Larry Ellison got the boat race, what SF mostly got was the bill.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 1:24 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Rhode Island got sailing?

Yeah, that seemed like a cop-out. They could definitely give DC a run for their money. Roller derby is another decent choice, although my money would be on New York for that one.
posted by likeatoaster at 1:25 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]



No, because then the officially authorized sport would be complaining.


Real estate.
posted by sweetkid at 1:25 PM on October 8, 2013


I guess they more or less explain that Colorado got mountain-climbing and Wyoming got Alpine Skiing because of the dearth of options for South Dakota.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:25 PM on October 8, 2013


Plus also, New Hamster is like all mountains, and I doubt you could cross-country ski in much of it without endlessly clomping up steep slopes.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:25 PM on October 8, 2013


I thought New Jersey would get quoits.
posted by maurice at 1:26 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hell yeah, we get surfing. Suck it, Kansas!
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:28 PM on October 8, 2013


I got stuck in traffic going through New Hamster one time. Nothing but clear plastic balls as far as the eye could see.
posted by perhapses at 1:30 PM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


real estate complaints are acceptable, yes
posted by elizardbits at 1:30 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sailing for Rhode Island is one of the ones that seemed the most on the nose for me. Newport hosted the America's Cup for years, there's a sailboat on the state quarter and the license plate, and most of the people I've known from Rhode Island have been at least competent sailors. On the other hand, these are people in my wife's family of super-WASPs, so maybe that's where that comes from.

I was told once that Rhode Island had the only state prison system in the country with a bocce court, so they could have gone with that.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:30 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Plus also, New Hamster is like all mountains, and I doubt you could cross-country ski in much of it without endlessly clomping up steep slopes.

This is why we enjoy cross-country skiing. The better skiing. The endurance of brutal boredom, cold, overexertion, and loneliness. Hours on end of breathing the bitter grey air, staring into the endless copses of white birch, longing ceaselessly for one's inevitable death. New Hampshire. Book your New Hampshire vacation today!
posted by Greg Nog at 1:31 PM on October 8, 2013 [14 favorites]


live free or die alone in the wilderness doesn't have the same ring to it
posted by elizardbits at 1:31 PM on October 8, 2013 [12 favorites]


The endurance of brutal boredom, cold, overexertion, and loneliness. Hours on end of breathing the bitter grey air, staring into the endless copses of white birch, longing ceaselessly for one's inevitable death. New Hampshire. Book your New Hampshire vacation today!

I must be doing way, way too much long distance running training, because this sales pitch totally worked on me.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:32 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Rhode Island got sailing?

There are small boat regattas on Narragansett Bay all summer long - it's not just richie McRichperson and cup races, it's a middle-class sport. That said, the Big Money yacht teams regularly recruit crew from Newport. It's an Aquidneck Island thing.

Tho a case could be made for surfcasting - RI has been called the Pebble Beach of shoreline gamefishing, and Harbor Freight moves a ton of wood lathes to guys carving their own plugs and poppers. New immigrants and old money out on the rocks after dark chasing stripers and blues and yellowfin in early Autumn is about the most Rhode Island thing ever - you can blow a couple of grand on a custom rod and a VanStaal reel and custom turned lures, or you can use the no-name combo set and a Kast Master you picked up from the Benny's for $25 total, and still have a ball.
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:34 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


The Legend of the Octopus (previouslyer, sort-of previously)
posted by bonehead at 1:39 PM on October 8, 2013


I can't believe no state was awarded the manly Gaelic-Italian tradition of Shirling.
posted by Mister_A at 1:41 PM on October 8, 2013


As much as knew Maryland would be Lacrosse I was SO hoping it would be duckpin bowling.

Maryland getting larcrosse is total bullshit. Everyone knows "lax, bro" is the official sport of prep schools and therefore belongs to Connecticut.

And Massachusetts should get duckpin bowling.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 1:43 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


As a Colorado native, while initially surprised, I'm ok with Wyoming getting skiing. The illustration is a little deceptive in depicting technical climbing, but climbing mountains is a HUGE deal to many residents. If you disagree, I refer you to the pack of people standing over there wearing smartwool socks and t-shirts with checkboxes listing the fourteeners they've summited. I'm not one of those people, but even I've climbed five or six by accident. It's a dumb quirk of the Imperial system of measurement, but we sure got a hell of a lot more of those mountains than anyone else.

Everyone here knows how to ski, too, but really that's our state's image more because it's the means we employ to take money from rich people. Meanwhile, much as I may hate to say it, the skiing at Jackson Hole is objectively better than anything we got 'round here.

Overall, though, they could have fucked up this map a whole lot worse. Good post, Bulgaroktonos!
posted by 7segment at 1:43 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was expecting 43-Man Squamish for the District of Columbia.
posted by ogooglebar at 1:49 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Maryland getting larcrosse is total bullshit. Everyone knows "lax, bro" is the official sport of prep schools and therefore belongs to Connecticut.

To be honest, the first lacrosse player that comes to my mind is Bunk Moreland, who is about as Maryland as it gets.
posted by Copronymus at 1:54 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


It makes total sense that Iowa got wrestling--I thought the state was going to have a collective breakdown when wrestling was briefly removed from the Olympics. I'm pretty sure Dan Gable and the Brands brothers just pinned the Olympic officials until they relented. That said, I was hoping for six-on-six girls' basketball to be Iowa's sport. What a strange and wonderful game.
posted by epj at 1:55 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was expecting 43-Man Squamish for the District of Columbia.

no, D C, gets one game and one game only - chicken
posted by pyramid termite at 1:56 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I thought Delaware would have certainly been white water rafting.
posted by cazoo at 1:56 PM on October 8, 2013


For those who haven't lived/worked on the Hill, kickball is kind of a big deal in DC.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:58 PM on October 8, 2013


Yeah, I would imagine there are a lot of hypercompetitive ex-jock alcoholics in DC.
posted by box at 2:01 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


epj: "That said, I was hoping for six-on-six girls' basketball to be Iowa's sport. What a strange and wonderful game."

Six-on-six basketball is maybe the most wonderful thing that was also sexist that I also still can't help but love wholeheartedly.

(Doctor Who, wrestling, and six-on-six basketball -- growing up with Iowa Public Television from the other side of the Mississippi FTW!)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:02 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


My experience with the kickball people is that they're not that competitive, but they do...enjoy a tipple.

Also, Maryland lacrosse culture is weird and not really the lax bros of other states. It's more egalitarian and like high school football culture. They play lacrosse at public schools. It's weird.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:04 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't expect any state to get jai alai.

In the 25 or so years I lived in Florida, I never played, watched, had or overheard a conversation about, read about, or saw any merchandise for jai alai or its teams, players, equipment, etc.

I'm pretty sure the state sport of Florida is either sweating or driving slowly in the fast lane.
posted by Foosnark at 2:12 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm kind of surprised Florida's isn't just "swimming."
posted by troika at 2:23 PM on October 8, 2013


NEW MAP: New york city gets ALL THE SPORTS and everyone else can play Parcheesi :P
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:33 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ha, they say right on the map that Kansas gets men's college basketball instead of North Carolina only because Kansas doesn't have any other possible sports they could have used, while NC has NASCAR...

There is only one NASCAR track in North Carolina and it's the same size as the one in Kansas City, Kansas. Whereas three states, California, Florida, and Virginina, have two NASCAR tracks each. If college hoops doesn't belong to North Carolina, then it doesn't belong to any state. About half of North Carolina despises NASCAR, anyway. But everybody on Tobacco Road loves college hoops. Besides, the NASCAR track is in Charlotte (well, OK, Concord), which everybody knows is the biggest city in South Carolina. So it doesn't even count.
posted by 3.2.3 at 2:39 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Rhode Island got sailing?


I was hoping for "playing hot potato with the state budget," but I suppose a lot of states could claim that one. Possibly passing the buck" or "blame shifting" would work.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:46 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


What if every state got one Game, a viral list by me.

Alabama - Parcheesi
Alaska - Warhammer
Arizona - Pokemon
Arkansas - Uno
California - the Leonard Maltin Game
Colorado - Life
Connecticut - Bullshit
Delaware - Pinochle
Florida - Go Fish
Georgia - Euker
Hawaii - Go
Idaho - Axis & Allies
Illinois - Magic: The Gathering
Indiana - Enchanted Forest
Iowa - Dark Tower
Kansas - Hungry Hungry Hippos
Kentucky - Mouse Trap
Louisiana - Yahtzee
Maine - Candyland
Maryland - Clue
Massachusetts - Chess
Michigan - Chutes and Ladders
Minnesota - Sorry
Mississippi - Whist
Missouri - Werewolf
Montana - Diplomacy
Nebraska - Pot Limit Omaha
Nevada - Blackjack
New Hampshire - Calvinball
New Jersey - Gin
New Mexico - Yu-Gi-Oh!
New York - Gin Rummy
North Carolina - Mini Golf
North Dakota - Roulette
Ohio - Scrabble
Oklahoma - Trivial Pursuit
Oregon - Apples to Apples
Pennsylvania - Battleship
Rhode Island - Checkers
South Carolina - Pocket pool
South Dakota - Russian Roulette
Tennessee - Name that Tune
Texas - NL Texas Holdem
Utah - Settlers of Catan
Vermont - Jenga
Virginia - Bridge
Washington - Cards Against Humanity
Washington DC - Monopoly
West Virginia - Spit
Wisconsin - Beer pong
Wyoming - Risk

Sorry Puerto Rico you have to content yourself with dancing and singing, no games allowed.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:55 PM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


[Looks around furiously for bicycling]

Does this mean I need to emigrate?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 2:57 PM on October 8, 2013


Puerto Rico - Puerto Rico.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:01 PM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Indiana - Enchanted Forest

Nope. It's Euchre or nothing for Indiana.
posted by asperity at 3:02 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Damn, I was born there. Guess this proves the circular nature of things.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 3:02 PM on October 8, 2013


Georgia already has Euchre I just spelled it wrong sorry Indiana, feel free to move.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:05 PM on October 8, 2013


NY should have Rummikub instead because it is far superior
posted by elizardbits at 3:07 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would have thought that Wisconsin got bowling.
posted by brookeb at 3:28 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Roller derby is another decent choice, although my money would be on New York for that one.

New York is the best at roller derby, but it was (re)born in Texas and is possibly most popular in California. Ridiculous number of leagues out there.
posted by corvine at 3:35 PM on October 8, 2013


Rhode Island clearly got sailing because that's the only way they could fit it on the map.
posted by maryr at 3:39 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can name ten Colorado or Utah ski resorts off the top of my head, but not one for Wyoming.

Jackson Hole. I can name four Western resorts and that's one of them. The second is in California, the third in Colorado, and the fourth in New Mexico. So leave Wyoming be.

And Massachusetts would have candlepin bowling because duckpin bowling is not a thing.
posted by maryr at 3:41 PM on October 8, 2013


On that game list Maine should have cribbage.
posted by brookeb at 3:56 PM on October 8, 2013


I think the fact that no two can have the same state sport makes this kind of dumb, like the "Church Basketball" for Utah.

At first glance, that's what I thought. But after some pondering, I realize that it makes total sense to segregate sports by division level because they're totally different animals.

For instance, pro football is all about precision, game planning, filling gaps, and a perfect spiral hanging like a Christmas ornament in mid-air, awaiting a pair of eager hands to reel it in. The NFL strives for perfection and soldier-like obedience. You follow the plan of the general (the coach), you win.

College football follows similar principles, sure, but while the NFL revels in accuracy and timing, the college game often hinges on something going horribly, terribly wrong. Whether its a defensive lapse, a receiver engaging cloak mode, or the conspiracy of officials and the voodoo of home field advantage, the level of variance in college football is both thrilling and leads to perpetually aggrieved fanbases. Pro football is for routine mass production, each specimen perfectly built. College football is renegade science: sometimes it works spectacularly, sometimes it explodes and your fall is ruined.

There's a similar dichotomy between pro and college basketball, but almost in the opposite direction. College ball is hyper-controlled coach-ball defined by fast-twitch white guy hustle, contested 2-point jump shots, and the helter-skelter March Madness tournament and its eternal parade of schools from nowhere and buzzer-beating shots that extend your season one more game.

The NBA, however, is more reliant upon athletes who spontaneously rewrite space and time. Heck, the NBA dunk contest is practically a pageant of the superhuman. If college ball is centered around tightly-controlled tension and the hope of the underdog, the NBA is a love letter to improvisation and the inevitable victory of might.

There are exceptions of course, but yeah, each sport is a different animal at each level, and those fandoms rarely bleed over. Duke fans don't give a rip about the Charlotte Bobcats. Philadelphia Eagles fans would pummel you for thinking of wearing a Giants jersey, but they might not be aware that Temple has a football program. I'm sure that church basketball too has its own weird mythologies and unspoken rules of which I'll forever be unaware.

(Apologies for my Michigan State-centrism. Some things are burned in your brain and refuse to leave, for better or worse.)
posted by Turkey Glue at 4:08 PM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


~Indiana - Enchanted Forest
~Nope. It's Euchre or nothing for Indiana.


Word.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:18 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ya know, I grew up in Iowa and it's not like wrestling is this absolutely huge sport there. It's just less minor in Iowa.

If Minnesota hadn't been handed hockey I would have burned this thread to the ground. Right to the ground.
posted by mcstayinskool at 4:19 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


About half of North Carolina despises NASCAR, anyway. But everybody on Tobacco Road loves college hoops.

Oh god yes. I don't know a single person from my home state who watches NASCAR, but no one can ever shut up about MARCH MADNESS!!! and they even managed to get me, a certified lump of nerd, to care violently about UNC basketball.

And one of my friends who studied abroad in China wore some UNC swag and had someone come up to her and say "yes, UNC, Michael Jordan!"

In conclusion NASCAR is dumb
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:34 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


My experience with the kickball people is that they're not that competitive, but they do...enjoy a tipple.

Are they at the point where they make tippling an integral part of the game? That's the only kind of kickball I've played since elementary school.
posted by LionIndex at 4:37 PM on October 8, 2013


Church basketball! You can see my ethnocentricism because then I was like, what, when did the Korean American church basketball leagues take over the entire state of Utah?!? Oh. Mormon church. Nevermind.
posted by spamandkimchi at 4:40 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


In my home town in Iowa, it was all about wrestling. Now that I am in Alaska, even though I am not in the part that mushes, boy these guys sure do like dogs pulling stuff. I have to say this list is more accurate than expected and far more accurate than most lists of this ilk.
posted by Foam Pants at 4:41 PM on October 8, 2013


I came in to check that Minnie got hockey and was about to close the tab when I noticed that hockey goalie in NoDak. Wut. We got high school hockey! That's even better!
I don't talk to anyone from high school anymore or even care for the sport (except when my lil sis was playing, of course. Then it was the most important thing.), but I still check a few times a year to see how my high school is doing.
posted by MsDaniB at 4:43 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, Marylanders actually care a lot about lacrosse whereas I have my doubts about jousting.

I grew up in Maryland. While I played lacrosse for two years, I jousted for three.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:44 PM on October 8, 2013


Are we better at college basketball than Kansas?

No. Next, please.
posted by bleep-blop at 4:56 PM on October 8, 2013


> > Nope. It's Euchre or nothing for Indiana.

> Georgia already has Euchre I just spelled it wrong sorry Indiana, feel free to move.


I am from Michigan and I will fight you both.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 5:05 PM on October 8, 2013


When your state's MLS team draws a bigger average attendance than many of the elite European teams, then you're doing it right. Came in expecting Washington to have soccer, was not disappointed.
posted by weeyin at 5:17 PM on October 8, 2013


16 inch softball makes sense too - besides heavy drinking, it's one of Chicago's top summer pastimes.

Besides? People play 16" sober?
posted by hwyengr at 5:52 PM on October 8, 2013


(Doctor Who, wrestling, and six-on-six basketball -- growing up with Iowa Public Television from the other side of the Mississippi FTW!)

Are you me?
posted by the christopher hundreds at 6:05 PM on October 8, 2013


Ugh, of course New York is just about New York City.

Having grown up in New York State but well away from the city (as I assume you did), I fully sympathize. But if you can ever manage to live in NYC, you can gain some amount of satisfaction by proudly referring to yourself as a "native New Yorker" and basking in the annoyed glances of friends and coworkers.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:07 PM on October 8, 2013



Lacrosse?

Well, a lot of those skills are pretty universal.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:34 PM on October 8 [1 favorite −] [!]


-Yeah, and then I bet you get sent off to camp all summer!
-Riding camp, skiing camp...
-Lacrosse camp...
posted by Carillon at 6:52 PM on October 8, 2013


While golf is reasonable for South Carolina, it does of course have a home-grown traditional sport in half-rubber, which is like baseball except with more chaos since you use half a rubber ball, a broomstick, and no runners. This is to say nothing of the dark art of joggling (not related to the modern practice of jogging and juggling, which I was previous unaware of).
posted by 23 at 7:16 PM on October 8, 2013


Oh god, all this talk about 16-inch softball and I was imagining it with a 16" diameter, like this fucking pizza-sized sphere flying at your head, and I was like "Shit, I'd have to be drunk to go anywhere near that."

Luckily/sadly, Wikipedia has set me straight.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 8:53 PM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Give Minnesota curling and switch high school hockey to the U.P. and it's spot on.
posted by aaronetc at 8:55 PM on October 8, 2013


If college hoops doesn't belong to North Carolina, then it doesn't belong to any state.

I can't believe I'm even chiming in on this since I'm absolutely delighted not to be working for a site that covers college basketball any more (I can celebrate my birthday at will without having to wait for goddamn March Madness to be over, it's delightful) but that's uncharitable, surely? James Naismith, Dean Smith, Roy Williams ... there's a lot of basketball history that started in Kansas.
posted by rewil at 11:14 PM on October 8, 2013


Nebraska should get college football.
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:53 AM on October 9, 2013


Growing up in North Carolina, we basically did no school work on the Friday of the ACC tournament so we could watch whatever game was on. The conference tournament. That even made sense to me growing up there, but it's like I crossed the state line to go to college and suddenly realized that it was a positively bonkers thing to do. As I say, I've got no problem with it going to Kansas, but North Carolina's craziness about college basketball should not be underestimated.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:08 AM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nebraska gets college baseball because of the college World Series in Omaha. I can live with that.
posted by scottymac at 4:34 AM on October 9, 2013


Central Pennsylvania, you get Suicide and Accidentally Shooting A Relative In The Face.
posted by sutt at 4:41 AM on October 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


that's uncharitable, surely? James Naismith, Dean Smith, Roy Williams ... there's a lot of basketball history that started in Kansas.

...and ends in North Carolina. This isn't about charity. We yield our hoops to no one.
posted by 3.2.3 at 4:44 AM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why in the world would Georgia get tennis?
posted by yellowcandy at 11:49 AM on October 9, 2013


Give Minnesota curling

On that game list Maine should have cribbage.

If you're curling or playing cribbage, you may have crossed international borders.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:34 PM on October 9, 2013


Ohio is cornhole. This sounded made up to me, so I asked the Ohioans I work with. It turns out they just bought cornhole for the office.
posted by madcaptenor at 3:09 PM on October 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Cornhole: Not as dirty as it sounds, but you still need to be liquored up to enjoy it.
posted by maryr at 4:14 PM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah. I spent too much time having to monitor basketball message boards to enjoy rivalries of any sort any more. People just get so very rude over stuff like this (not here, you guys are perfectly polite), instead of celebrating joint history and it's just turned me off from sport entirely.
posted by rewil at 8:12 PM on October 9, 2013


With regards to college basketball, who has the all-time most wins in college basketball? At which school did Jay-Z draw a fine from the NBA because he wanted to visit the players after the game?

Also, which school has the coolest college basketball program (Jay-Z notwithstanding), which also happens to be the reigning champion?

Both of those schools are in the same state. It's neither Kansas, nor North Carolina. In the immortal words of A Tribe Called Quest : "uh uh Kentucky!"

Meanwhile, I don't know where this nonsense about Charlotte being the largest city in South Carolina is coming from... Trust me, when you cross over into Rock Hill, it's a whole new ballgame.
posted by Slothrop at 11:31 AM on October 10, 2013


Washington and not Oregon for pro soccer? Wrong.
posted by bink at 11:53 PM on October 10, 2013


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