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They call me Happy Pete/I came to this store to buy myself a treat
October 13, 2013 11:47 AM   Subscribe

Selling is Service, Service is Selling - A Musical Training Video
posted by griphus (38 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
I lasted 37 seconds. Anybody care to top that?
posted by bicyclefish at 12:07 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is a great workout for your cringing muscles.
posted by dr_dank at 12:10 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


My name is Jill
I don't like to sell
I'm an unhappy person
Everyone can go to heck.
posted by Apropos of Something at 12:12 PM on October 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


I am not sure how this is a training video. It's just a series of rhyming assertions.

Promote the cult of buying -- they always want more --
But what is going to happen when they've exited the store?
Buyers remorse is not a real fact;
Sell them some damn mug, and who cares if they come back!
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:19 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Retail management corrective action technique #27:

For use in the event of insubordination, customer service incident, or general "bad attitude."
1) Instruct employee to watch "Selling is service."
2) Ask employee to express what they've learned from the video, and how it pertains to the situation that lead to corrective action.
3) Regardless of response. Tell employee you think their answer warrants a second viewing.
4) Administer second viewing.
repeat steps 2-4 as necessary
5) Instruct employee to write a new verse for song that reflects incident that led to corrective action. If applicable, a second or even third party can be added by use of stand-in or sock puppet
6) Film results for black male as seems appropriate.
posted by es_de_bah at 12:24 PM on October 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


This has to be parody.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:35 PM on October 13, 2013


I'd rather buy from Jill.
posted by tyllwin at 12:43 PM on October 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's store's got everything... gifts and packs of Malboro
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:54 PM on October 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


11 seconds here. I'm not cut out for this.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:03 PM on October 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


needs some Mr. Humphries
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:07 PM on October 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like how it stops.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:26 PM on October 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


I lasted 37 seconds. Anybody care to top that?

25, I win! Oh wait, you meant the other direction. Not if you paid me.
posted by scalefree at 1:31 PM on October 13, 2013


What did we ever do to you griphus?
posted by The Whelk at 1:33 PM on October 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


They call me Cherie
I'm as snobby as can be
But you will spend a lot here 'cause you want to be like me
posted by pernoctalian at 1:41 PM on October 13, 2013


Based on the fact that I can't make out what the hell they sell I assume this is what the clerks at those Ye olde Curiosity Shoppes do all day while waiting for some sap to buy a haunted moose.
posted by The Whelk at 1:46 PM on October 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


So for those who didn't feel like googling, an Oosik is a walrus penis bone and an Ulu is a knife made out of that penis bone...

So this dreary strip mall junk shop is fortunately situated somewhere that the walrus penis bone trade requires a separate warehouse and dozens of employees who have to watch training videos.
posted by SharkParty at 1:55 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


It turns out there really is a store selling impossible, magical things but it's in a strip mall in Bangor so no one bothers.
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm not even gonna try watching this because I know I'll end up stabbing somebody. And I'm the only one in the house.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:02 PM on October 13, 2013


DEAR GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR BODIES WHY DO THEY JIGGLE LIKE THAT
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:46 PM on October 13, 2013


I like how Unabomber Jill keeps looking down at her script
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:58 PM on October 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


Will there be a quiz?
posted by codacorolla at 3:15 PM on October 13, 2013


There are more videos on the channel. You are welcome.
posted by mochapickle at 3:36 PM on October 13, 2013


Wait, what? From "Adventures in Retail - A Musical"?!
posted by JHarris at 3:40 PM on October 13, 2013


So this dreary strip mall junk shop is fortunately situated somewhere that the walrus penis bone trade requires a separate warehouse and dozens of employees who have to watch training videos.

It is a 5 store empire.
Which clearly proves the power of "Selling is Service".

Or maybe "Service is Selling". I'm not sure.
posted by madajb at 3:40 PM on October 13, 2013


SMC is now smart living company.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 3:57 PM on October 13, 2013


I'm confused, was I supposed to not enjoy this, because I didn't not enjoy it
posted by threeants at 4:06 PM on October 13, 2013


I found their enthusiasm infectious.
posted by griphus at 4:12 PM on October 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


My walrus penis knife is getting dull, if only there was a helpful shopkeep to assist me with a sharpening tool. Unfortunately all I have is Jill, and she just keeps complaining about living in Alaska.
posted by codacorolla at 4:20 PM on October 13, 2013


At the end of one of my magazine-journalism courses, the professor divided us into groups and had us summarize what we had learned. He wanted presentations of some kind. One group made a trivia board game. Another made a video. Our group decided to write a song. One of us made the backing track, and the rest of us rapped. The results - a didactic rap about story structure - made me cringe, and as I watched this, I cringed so hard that I returned to that spring of 2010.

It's nice here, but I wish I had an internship lined up.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:45 PM on October 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I found their enthusiasm infectious.

Really? I found their infections enthusiastic....
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:45 PM on October 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


How did these people so completely fail to develop a sense of rhythm? Do I look like this when I dance? To which blood god do I need to sacrifice to avoid their terrible fate?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:52 PM on October 13, 2013


I absolutely want to buy that oosik.
posted by deadbilly at 5:12 PM on October 13, 2013


I just got a brain infection
posted by oceanjesse at 6:09 PM on October 13, 2013


What the hell requires aprons here?
posted by oceanjesse at 6:09 PM on October 13, 2013


Also does anyone know if Jill is saying "my kids are bratty" or "my kicks are ratty"?
posted by griphus at 6:15 PM on October 13, 2013


My kids are rowdy.
posted by dobbs at 6:17 PM on October 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, you need to hang on 'til 1min33 so you can see the amazing chemistry between Jill and Happy Pete. I love these musical training videos - they're like the descendants of the industrial/corporate musicals that were so popular in the 50s and 60s.
posted by mippy at 3:14 AM on October 14, 2013


I fear that all civilized parts of Alaska are one or two extra dark days away from this happening.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:46 AM on October 14, 2013


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