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Mama, I've been asked to the prom
October 16, 2013 6:26 AM   Subscribe

It turns out that if you cut together a bunch of scenes from Disney's Cinderella along with the audio track for the trailer of the new Carrie remake, you get something very creepy, disturbing and brilliant.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED (42 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

 
I don't know why my impulse was to not like this, but that was actually really cool.
posted by Think_Long at 6:32 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Disney is the Lord's way of chastising us.

(This is brilliant.)
posted by mochapickle at 6:37 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Carrie trailer is the new exemplar of the "well, now you've seen the whole movie with all the dull bits cut out" school of trailer-making. Isn't it sort of counter-intuitive to make a two-minute short film that actually shows every single plot point of the entire movie, including its conclusion and what are probably every good f/x or shock scene in the whole thing? What motivation do I have to go to the theatre after I watch this?

[deep voice]
In a world where money and power are all that matter... Rosebud is the sled. CITIZEN KANE.
posted by Shepherd at 6:44 AM on October 16, 2013 [21 favorites]


Rosebud is the sled.

WHAT?!
posted by distorte at 6:48 AM on October 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


To be fair, I think they assume (probably rightly) that everybody knows the basic outlines of the plot already.
posted by kmz at 6:48 AM on October 16, 2013


That is genius.
posted by Mchelly at 6:49 AM on October 16, 2013


Isn't it sort of counter-intuitive to make a two-minute short film that actually shows every single plot point of the entire movie, including its conclusion and what are probably every good f/x or shock scene in the whole thing?

Well, to be fair, and in this specific film, it's not like the storyline of Carrie is a mystery. About the only thing this remake can probably bring in the way of "improvement" are better SFX and more graphic violence and horror. And, I'm not sure any of that will be an improvement.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:49 AM on October 16, 2013


Well, and Chloe Moretz. Who is great.
posted by likeatoaster at 6:50 AM on October 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


In a world where money and power are all that matter... Rosebud is the sled. CITIZEN KANE.

And once you know that, there's no point in watching the film, other than its utter brilliance.
posted by etc. at 7:02 AM on October 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


If you look at it from Jaq and Gus' perspective, Cinderella is a great giant-monster movie. The Fairy Godmother just forgot to mention her new dress lets her shoot lasers from her forehead when she folds her arms a certain way.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:02 AM on October 16, 2013


Er, I actually didn't know the plot of Carrie before I watched this trailer. I could have told you it had something to do with blood and a prom, though, I guess. Serious question - it has a happy ending, right? Like, she freaks out everyone at the prom and then gets to move away and make a proper life for herself somewhere else?

I could look on Wikipedia but I trust you guys to give it to me straight.
posted by daisyk at 7:14 AM on October 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, and Chloe Moretz. Who is great.

She's nice to look at, but you can't call her an improvement over Cissy Spacek.
posted by pracowity at 7:16 AM on October 16, 2013


oh yeah totally daisyk, we watched in grade school right after Homeward Bound.
posted by Think_Long at 7:16 AM on October 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


daisyk - Yeah, she invents a new detergent to remove bloodstains from cloth, sells her start-up for billions, and lives happily ever after. Obviously.
posted by jennaratrix at 7:16 AM on October 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


Whew! What a relief, thanks!
posted by daisyk at 7:18 AM on October 16, 2013


daisyk - It's about as happy an ending as Hamlet, but with fewer survivors.
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:38 AM on October 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Carrie trailer is the new exemplar of the "well, now you've seen the whole movie with all the dull bits cut out" school of trailer-making.

They've been making trailers that way for at least 37 years, if not longer.
posted by Mothlight at 7:56 AM on October 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


^^ Spoilers, obv.
posted by Mothlight at 7:56 AM on October 16, 2013


Now someone needs to make a version of Hamlet in which he TKs everyone to squishy death.
posted by Iosephus at 8:00 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you look at it from Jaq and Gus' perspective, Cinderella is a great giant-monster movie. The Fairy Godmother just forgot to mention her new dress lets her shoot lasers from her forehead when she folds her arms a certain way.

Tanith Lee has an excellent version of Cinderella with less fairy god mothers and more 15 th century satan worship/buckets of blood/ritual sacrifice
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on October 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


"better SFX and more graphic violence and horror. "

You know how easy it is to read "SFX" as "SEX", don't you?
posted by HuronBob at 8:04 AM on October 16, 2013


Chloe Moretz is indeed fantastic, but nothing I've seen has convinced me that she's not comepletely wrong for this particular role. Sissy Spacek was so utterly perfect for it - especially at that age she just had the deer-in-the-headlights look of someone being forced in front of the camera against her will even, which sounds horrible but is kind of what the role requires - someone so shy and socially maladroit that if she so much as smiles with earnest happiness your heart falls through the floor waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Chloe Moretz, meanwhile, is possessed of an unshakable badass confidence completely at odds with this character. I could see her as a great Sue Snell, but not as Carrie.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:05 AM on October 16, 2013 [8 favorites]


The thing is, this is the 3rd remake. The Rage: Carrie 2 was basically a remake of Carrie with a few fig leaves. I remember it being not awful but not terribly memorable.
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, to be fair, and in this specific film, it's not like the storyline of Carrie is a mystery.

I doubt many of the target audience have read the book or seen the old movie. Remember Kisd be dumb.
posted by Gungho at 8:18 AM on October 16, 2013


and that's why they deserve to dieeeeee
posted by Think_Long at 8:19 AM on October 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


That was so, so fantastic.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 8:20 AM on October 16, 2013


I'd watch the whole movie.
posted by dragonsi55 at 8:57 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Chloe Moretz is indeed fantastic, but nothing I've seen has convinced me that she's not comepletely wrong for this particular role

I've been wondering exactly that. After watching her go toe-to-toe with Jack Donaghey, it's tough for me to imagine her as a vulnerable wimp who snaps. Like Katee Sackoff as Rapunzel or something. But it's the woman who directed Boys Don't Cry doing it, and Moretz might be an even better actor than I take her for. I'd still give it a shot.
posted by Diablevert at 9:19 AM on October 16, 2013


She's an actress. They are capable of playing a variety of roles. I am not going to dismiss her until I actually see the film.

Sissy Spacek received a lot of blowback when she was cast in the role, because she was considered too pretty to play the character, who Stephen King described as being acne-ridden, dark-haired, full-figured, and unattractive.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 9:43 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Tanith Lee has an excellent version of Cinderella with less fairy god mothers and more 15 th century satan worship/buckets of blood/ritual sacrifice

A copy of that can be found here, and it is awesome. Thanks, Whelk, for mentioning that.
posted by Maecenas at 9:53 AM on October 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sissy Spacek received a lot of blowback when she was cast in the role, because she was considered too pretty to play the character, who Stephen King described as being acne-ridden, dark-haired, full-figured, and unattractive.

That's the version of Carrie I want to see--the one where you take one look at the character and know without a doubt that she has a rough time socially at school.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:07 AM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's the version of Carrie I want to see--the one where you take one look at the character and know without a doubt that she has a rough time socially at school.

The important thing about Carrie is not that she's unattractive, it's that she's weird. Her social awkwardness and homemade clothes and extreme nativity make her a victim in a way her looks never do. I saw plenty of perfectly attractive people get bullied in high school for this sort of thing. I heard this same complaint -- that Chloe Moretz is too attractive to play some body who is bullied -- from a friend of mine who was bullied and is quite attractive.

I mean, I do long for the time when character actors ruled Hollywood, and unconventional looking actresses like Shelley Duvall and Carol Kane and Susan Tyrell could be actual movie stars, but I'm not going to hold it against Moretz that she's more conventionally pretty, especially as she legitimately seems like she may be deeply weird.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:56 AM on October 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Bunny - my problem (not problem because she's certainly talented enough to surprise me) with Moretz in the role is not that she is too pretty, but that she has always seemed like the most popular girl around, above it all in awesome ways, total opposite of Carrie to me. Like, she isn't necessarily the bully herself but definitely nobody is bullying her.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:21 AM on October 16, 2013


I think the trailer remix is absolutely awesome. It plays with the idea of transformation that so many young people dream about - certainly Carrie was a the darker version, while Cinderella is the happier version (though I think in the Grimm version - don't the Step Sisters chop their feet up trying to fit into the slipper?)

But the "transformation" is always fraught with danger - especially since generally the transformation cannot be controlled (ie puberty) so who knows what will happen? Recasting the Cinderella story with such a dark undertone serves to remind us why that story resonates so resoundingly in our culture.
posted by helmutdog at 12:20 PM on October 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Not only do the step-sisters mutilate themselves in the hopes of fitting in the shoes, but the step-mother spoiler alert? is made to dance to death in a pair of red-hot iron shoes at the end.
posted by mr. digits at 2:21 PM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


"...the step-mother... is made to dance to death in a pair of red-hot iron shoes at the end."
That's Snow White .
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 5:14 PM on October 16, 2013


Wow, the new trailer is practically a shot-for-shot recreation of the old trailer.

The improvement is that they spelled Stephen King's name right.
posted by nev at 6:01 PM on October 16, 2013


Damn, I should've known that was too much foot-focused wrath for one story.
posted by mr. digits at 6:47 PM on October 16, 2013


I'm pretty sure the stepsisters have their eyes pecked out though.
posted by Night_owl at 8:38 PM on October 16, 2013


Sissy Spacek was so utterly perfect for it - especially at that age she just had the deer-in-the-headlights look of someone being forced in front of the camera against her will even

This is the very thing that makes me want to see the new Carrie.

In the original movie, Spacek is just so hapless. All this stuff happens and at some level it reflects her emotions but it's just this stuff that's happening to her and is beyond her control. She doesn't really have any agency. Even in the prom scene, she just stands there like, yeah, a deer in the headlights, while all this horror happens around her. But it never feels like she's really doing it, willfully, but more like it's just this thing that's happening.

But that tiny clip from the new one where Moretz is covered in blood and sort of gliding forward with fire behind her? She doesn't just own what she's doing, she's reveling in it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:23 PM on October 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


This movie looks awful. Chloe Moretz is so miscast. She's far too normal.
posted by timsneezed at 11:37 PM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I heard this same complaint -- that Chloe Moretz is too attractive to play some body who is bullied -- from a friend of mine who was bullied and is quite attractive.

I mean, I do long for the time when character actors ruled Hollywood, and unconventional looking actresses like Shelley Duvall and Carol Kane and Susan Tyrell could be actual movie stars, but I'm not going to hold it against Moretz that she's more conventionally pretty, especially as she legitimately seems like she may be deeply weird.


It's not that she's too pretty. It's her aura. She doesn't bring that otherworldly, strange quality.

I also find her kind of boring as an actress in general.
posted by timsneezed at 11:38 PM on October 17, 2013


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