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I am the one who clicks
November 7, 2013 4:35 PM   Subscribe


 
I will not get suckered into playing Cookie Clicker again.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:38 PM on November 7, 2013 [21 favorites]


When they invent a silent mouse, I will play this game.
posted by zardoz at 4:48 PM on November 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


NOPE
posted by louche mustachio at 4:48 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I remember this game...when it was called Diablo 2. It was also the only time I wore (worn?) the paint off of a mouse button.
posted by Cog at 4:54 PM on November 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


I liked Cookie Clicker, but Clicking Bad has way too much waiting way too fast.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:56 PM on November 7, 2013


Awww, my save is gone.
posted by JHarris at 4:59 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


@JHarris, probably got seized by the DEA.
posted by Cog at 5:00 PM on November 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Well there goes the clicker button on my mouse.
posted by supercres at 5:04 PM on November 7, 2013


Carpal doom.
posted by Beardman at 5:13 PM on November 7, 2013


Unfortunately it's not much of an improvement on Cookie Clicker. Try CandyBox2.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:16 PM on November 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


I think this is that "run your own nuclear power plant" with a different skin.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:21 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I got sucked in for a while.

This kind of reminds me of the BBS game "Trade Wars". Is there any half-decent modern equivalent??
posted by beau jackson at 5:21 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


oh no......


i am playing this....
posted by rebent at 5:21 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also: A Tribute to Breaking Bad.
posted by unliteral at 5:25 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's actually way simpler and easier than Cookie Clicker, which gets a bit of complexity at mid/endgame.
posted by kmz at 5:29 PM on November 7, 2013


I'm not sure kmz, they've added in money laundering since the game was posted in the Breaking Bad thread. Your purchase choices aren't as clear-cut anymore.

On the other hand, it seems easier to get out of the very early game slog, the early upgrades appear to be a lot more useful.

Generally you want only one of each type of Production and Distribution thing, unless the game is forcing you to buy more to unlock more types, or unless the thing reduces raid risk (especially Lawyers, which get more and more useful as you buy upgrades). Not sure how this interacts with the money laundering though, it makes it harder to save up funds by just letting it run unless you keep up with the purchases on the Laundering tab.
posted by JHarris at 5:35 PM on November 7, 2013


I've played this whole thing. Its pretty clever but the game play is a bit lacking. The production and distribution things are way too well balanced after the first bit, and once you have enough money even the money laundering gets taken care of.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 5:37 PM on November 7, 2013


Strangely addictive.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:40 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Huh, interesting. It would be neat to get stats on which strategies different players use.
posted by carter at 5:40 PM on November 7, 2013


Yeah, I've had it running for most of the day. There was a sweet spot in game play I think when you're in the $100k range where it was a bit of a challenge to keep things balanced, but now I'm in the billions and it's just a waiting game.

That said, I'm saving up for a Space Mule, so yeah.
posted by no regrets, coyote at 5:41 PM on November 7, 2013


If I can just get that Chicken Restaurant before I get audited, I'll be set...
posted by stp123 at 5:41 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I am Lydia Rodarte-Quayle-level cautious. Pass the stevia.
posted by Beardman at 5:42 PM on November 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Also, there's a sore lack of ricin in the game so far.
posted by Beardman at 5:42 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is insanely fun for a pointless clicker. The first 15min of playing it is tough, you have to spin a lot of plates at once, trying to keep from getting busted and making enough and selling enough, but eventually the upgrades start helping out a ton.

After an hour of playing (you don't have to click anymore once your minimum stuff per second becomes pretty substantial), I took off to dinner for 20min and returned to several million dollars and I didn't get busted and was able to purchase enough upgrades to make everything super crazy and launder millions of dollars.

Anyway, for a dumb clicker game, it was much more fun than I thought.
posted by mathowie at 5:52 PM on November 7, 2013


Yes it is kind of fun.

I could imagine tweakers really getting into this.
posted by carter at 5:54 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


why

why is this so fun

help, i'm giving lab meeting tomorrow
posted by en forme de poire at 6:08 PM on November 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


no you're not

you're cooking meth
posted by elizardbits at 6:09 PM on November 7, 2013 [11 favorites]


Lawyer up, people.
posted by carter at 6:11 PM on November 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


I kind of got bored after:

Batches cooked: 2.79M
Batches hand-cooked: 480,100
Batches sold: 2.36M
Batches hand-sold: 149,445
Total upgrades purchased: 35
Total cash earned: $67.01M
Seconds spent playing: 3445

Oh wait, that's an entire hour.
posted by ambrosen at 6:12 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you shut the window it just keeps going too, I haven't played for a week or so and i now have Cash Money ($107.00 ea)
$10,329,927,999,037,312
$10,329,927,999,037,312 laundered
$232,221,517,920 per second
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 6:18 PM on November 7, 2013


It was also the only time I wore (worn?) the paint off of a mouse button.

Wore. Wearing the paint off our mouse buttons playing Diablo II together is oddly the fondest memory I have of my marriage.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:20 PM on November 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


After a while, the fun isn't in playing so much as unlocking upgrades like:

Mech Suit $5.1B

Your mech suit keeps you safe while making deals. Sell an additional 50% of sales batches at a time


This is where Breaking Bad could have gone if the writers weren't poopypants quitters.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:22 PM on November 7, 2013 [9 favorites]


Yeah, this reminded me I had the window minimized for the last week or two. I am up to $37 Quadrillion, with $590 billion cash coming in per second.
posted by procrastination at 6:23 PM on November 7, 2013


I learned something tonight: I missed my calling and should have been a drug lord. I'm really good at this.
posted by photoslob at 6:31 PM on November 7, 2013


Joseph Wolff - 34 Moonlab Alpha, 23 El Presidente and Immortal Lawyers [infinite batches and cash].
posted by unliteral at 6:53 PM on November 7, 2013


Seeing Joseph Wolff's infinite batches and cash, I'm feeling a little disappointed in the unrealism of having an infinite demand for this product.
posted by ambrosen at 7:02 PM on November 7, 2013


Dealer Slacks is basically the best upgrade ever.
posted by 1adam12 at 7:10 PM on November 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


this is good
posted by likeatoaster at 7:26 PM on November 7, 2013


The sleazy lawyer cape is pretty bitchen, too.
posted by darkstar at 7:53 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm really glad nobody has made a version of this that involves a constant stream of my actual money.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:55 PM on November 7, 2013


I adapted a script I'd written for Cookie Clicker to this one a few days ago (after someone dropped a raft of links in the recent Candy Box 2 thread and I played about half of them) which can click about 60x a second, so it skewed my stats a bit...
Batches cooked: 23.13T
Batches hand-cooked: 21.3T
Batches sold: 22.79T
Batches hand-sold: 20.85T
Total upgrades purchased: 56
Total cash earned: $2.39Q
Seconds spent playing: 32,090

You have a nearly impossible chance of a DEA raid (-1,502.5%)
All achievements even though I still haven't bought the top manufacturing or distribution items yet. Writing the clicker program and seeing it work was more rewarding than the game itself...
posted by jepler at 8:02 PM on November 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


The trick to these is to have a bunch of different ones going in different tabs so your total downtime is less.
Some others for your perusal:
Civclicker
Warp
Megami Quest
Candyclicker (uses unity plugin)
posted by juv3nal at 8:02 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


The sleazy lawyer cape is pretty bitchen, too.

Is it being worn by Larry David?
posted by littlesq at 8:04 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


n00bs.
Stats

Batches cooked: 4.47Q
Batches hand-cooked: 171.15T
Batches sold: 4.61Q
Batches hand-sold: 205.71T
Total upgrades purchased: 57
Total cash earned: $423.47Q
Seconds spent playing: 428,110

$1,249,137,757,657 per second
posted by Jacqueline at 8:10 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Though, I must say, there's no way it costs $801 million to buy a crooked senator. There are a few dozen in D.C. right now you could pick up for considerably less.
posted by darkstar at 8:18 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Does purity matter? Before I waste my money on purity upgrades, I mean
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 8:29 PM on November 7, 2013


Just…. evil.
posted by DoubleLune at 8:29 PM on November 7, 2013


You know, it's fun, but maybe the best click in this game is the one that closes the window. (Finally.)
posted by darkstar at 8:35 PM on November 7, 2013


Though, I must say, there's no way it costs $801 million to buy a crooked senator. There are a few dozen in D.C. right now you could pick up for considerably less.

Not only that, but each additional senator costs more than the first, which as far as I can tell is the exact opposite of reality, where a steep bulk discount for simply buying the entire political party seems to be the norm.

I'm assuming the "McLaunder's" achievement comes from buying a certain number of chicken restaurants, anybody know how many it is exactly?
posted by mstokes650 at 8:38 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pruitt-Igoe, purity is one of the best upgrades you can get, each full "IPU" is another dollar your meth sells for. After you buy the upgrade, it's free money.
posted by JHarris at 8:40 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, it's important, as you play this, not to think about where all that money for your meth comes from. (Provided you can handle it: there's a person somewhere in the world playing "Crime Clicker," who's up to 1.3B burglaries and robberies a second.)
posted by JHarris at 8:41 PM on November 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


I prefer Cookie Clicker and my army of Grandmas rather than drug mules.
posted by KernalM at 8:46 PM on November 7, 2013


I will not get suckered into playing Cookie Clicker again.

Good choice! BTW, let me tell you about a little game called Nethack....
posted by JHarris at 8:49 PM on November 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Nearly two hours ago I idly clicked on the link in the OPP.

WHAT HAPPENED.

Holy hell, that game is addictive, and FAST. Haha, I get it.

Didn't actually do a whole lot of clicking, just buying up production and distribution and ramping up a business full of other people to do the, uh, clicking.

Just now I managed to tear myself away, now that I seem to have the enterprise earning $13,500 per second, have laundered $5M and climbing at $3700/sec, and have the IRS and DEA down at single-digit risks (if not negative risks). It's chugging away on the other computer.

This is very much like DrugWars, although a bit more complex. A decade ago I used to play that game on my Palm OS phone a LOT -- I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it here yet. But at least that game had an end -- 30 simulated days (turns) to make as much money as possible. 5-10 minutes and you're done.

This thing? IT'S FULL OF STARS.
posted by intermod at 9:07 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I just bought a Danny!
posted by peeedro at 9:19 PM on November 7, 2013


The first time I played this, before my save disappeared, it took me days to get to where I got now in just this evening. I'm not sure if it's because of changes to the game or if my strategy (see above) is working.
posted by JHarris at 9:32 PM on November 7, 2013


Special ProTip for iOS (ab)users: do a Track and Field-style double tap on the cook and sell buttons to get your meth empire rolling quickly.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:38 PM on November 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


When I tried to do that Safari kept zooming in and out, although I wasn't alternating buttons come to think of it.
posted by JHarris at 9:44 PM on November 7, 2013


I will not get suckered into playing Cookie Clicker again.

Wait, we're allowed to stop playing Cookie Clicker? I don't think the grandmas would allow it. They have eyes everywhere. In more than one sense.

i have 1556 heavenly cookies and am doing about 550 billion CpS on my fifth reset send help please

This is very much like DrugWars, although a bit more complex.

Man, synchronicity. I've been futzing around for the last couple of weeks with the very early framework for a game that is basically Ferengi Drug Wars—arbitrage pricing differences between adjacent systems for profit, build up trading capacity, bribe/threaten/assasinate regional and alliance-wide comptrollers, spike or crash local economies to improve your margins, etc.

Right now literally all you can do is buy low in one system and ship it to another and sell high. It's a pretty underwhelming demo. But god if that stupid Drug Wars model doesn't sort of work anyway.
posted by cortex at 9:45 PM on November 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


(2002 heavenly chips, 620 billion CPS)

Only $1T/sec in Clicking Bad though.
posted by kmz at 9:48 PM on November 7, 2013


Oooh, Senator. You are almost mine, all mine...
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:50 PM on November 7, 2013


When I tried to do that Safari kept zooming in and out, although I wasn't alternating buttons come to think of it.

No need to alternate buttons. Just tap your two fingers on a button, alternating between fingers like you're doing the 100m dash for quick cash.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:53 PM on November 7, 2013


I'm assuming the "McLaunder's" achievement comes from buying a certain number of chicken restaurants, anybody know how many it is exactly?

I'm pretty sure it's for buying a Franchise, which might not be unlocked yet.
posted by kmz at 9:59 PM on November 7, 2013


My goodness - there's a subreddit with 300+ subscribers for this game.
posted by thedaniel at 10:01 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


it makes it harder to save up funds by just letting it run unless you keep up with the purchases on the Laundering tab.

It's pretty easy to keep up with laundering though. Right now it costs me dozens of Quads to increase my income by a fraction of a trillion$/s, but like 20 trillion to launder over a trillion$/s.
posted by kmz at 10:04 PM on November 7, 2013


cortex, did you ever play Galaxy of Fantabulous Wonderment?
posted by en forme de poire at 10:32 PM on November 7, 2013


I have not! I'll file that away as something to look at at some point.
posted by cortex at 10:36 PM on November 7, 2013


I'm classy: I only employ lawyers to push my product.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 11:16 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Stats

Batches cooked: 261M
Batches hand-cooked: 2.1M
Batches sold: 200.34M
Batches hand-sold: 3.06M
Total upgrades purchased: 41
Total cash earned: $7B
Seconds spent playing: WAY TOO MANY SINCE I CLICKED ON THIS POST.
posted by owlrigh at 11:43 PM on November 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm assuming the "Space Mules" stuff drugs in their rectum and distribute them to extra terrestrial beings; thus distinguishing them from the cheaper and less profitable "Space Dealers".
posted by dgaicun at 12:42 AM on November 8, 2013


For all we know the Space Mules don't even have recta. Their description really raises more questions than it answers.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:15 AM on November 8, 2013


Space Mule

Space Mule
posted by Phssthpok at 2:08 AM on November 8, 2013


Space Mules, from the description, are more likely to be M.U.L.E.s. You know, you take one from the corral over to the Outfitters, pay to outfit it for "Meth," then drag it to the part of the landscape that is best for producing it. It's like crystite, right?
posted by JHarris at 2:08 AM on November 8, 2013


(it is a reference to a classic 8-bit computer game, this is an update)
posted by JHarris at 2:10 AM on November 8, 2013


I am so POSITIVE this is a dupe. I remember it getting bounced when I tried posting it a few weeks ago.

Dayum! Either the post was deleted or my meds are SERIOUSLY off.
posted by Samizdata at 4:14 AM on November 8, 2013


You suck at cooking meth.
posted by surplus at 4:44 AM on November 8, 2013


I bought a Meth Star before even getting out of bed today.
posted by beau jackson at 5:01 AM on November 8, 2013


So do the DEA or IRS ever actually do anything in this game? I've had audit and raid risks as high as 80% and as low as -150% and either way it just seems like occasionally it tells me "negotiate my way out of" one or the other -- and the frequency with which that happens seems about the same either way.

At the start I was being super cautious because I assumed a raid or audit would mean game over but now that I'm a trillionaire it's like screw the percentages I'm too big to fail
posted by ook at 6:16 AM on November 8, 2013


Or perhaps that is the point
posted by ook at 6:16 AM on November 8, 2013


So what happens when I leave the page? Because I got some mad skilled laundering going on before I went to bed and left my organization running when I went to bed last night, but now I need to leave and take the laptop with me….
posted by DoubleLune at 7:16 AM on November 8, 2013


I've had this running on my computer at work (it runs security camera software, so it needs to stay on all the time anyway (don't judge me)) since I first heard about it in Rhaomi's BB megapost. I've achieved my goal of buying a hundred senators, but I don't really need them any more--my operation is entirely space-based.
posted by box at 7:26 AM on November 8, 2013


i want a mariachi band so bad
posted by Madamina at 7:58 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, it's important, as you play this, not to think about where all that money for your meth comes from. (Provided you can handle it: there's a person somewhere in the world playing "Crime Clicker," who's up to 1.3B burglaries and robberies a second.)

At this point, with the amounts of money I'm dealing with, the only way to explain it is somebody playing Wall Street Clicker who's gotten the "Federal Reserve" and "Treasury Department" upgrades, and probably the "Trillion-Dollar Coin" upgrade, too.
posted by mstokes650 at 8:09 AM on November 8, 2013


I'll soon be annexing a dark corner of the International Space Station.
posted by obscurator at 8:20 AM on November 8, 2013


Woot. Made my first trill.
posted by DoubleLune at 8:23 AM on November 8, 2013


I think I'll enjoy playing this evening, over a nice cup of chamomile tea with Splevia.
posted by malocchio at 8:43 AM on November 8, 2013


Note - don't play this game on your cell phone unless you hate having a working battery. Oops! Also, can someone explain to a complete programming idiot how this works? Once the page is loaded, it doesn't seem to need an internet connection at all anymore. are the drugs coming from inside my phone?
posted by twoporedomain at 8:48 AM on November 8, 2013


Also, can someone explain to a complete programming idiot how this works? Once the page is loaded, it doesn't seem to need an internet connection at all anymore.

It's all javascript running inside the browser. Since the game doesn't involve any interaction between different users, it doesn't need to talk to the server at all once it's loaded.

So, basically, yeah: the drugs are in your phone.
posted by ook at 8:56 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Once the page is loaded, it doesn't seem to need an internet connection at all anymore.

Once you've started the game, you don't even need to keep your computer turned on at all anymore. It "runs" while you sleep. Or while your computer sleeps. I think it's just such a simple simulation that it can estimate what things should look like after hours and hours of downtime.

Presumably a network connection is required to save your progress, though.
posted by Western Infidels at 8:56 AM on November 8, 2013


Presumably a network connection is required to save your progress, though.

Not necessarily even that; there'd be more than enough room in a cookie to store the small amount of persistent data this requires (look at "Options" -> "Create Backup"), but even if it needed more than a cookie's worth of storage they could use localStorage instead.
posted by ook at 9:01 AM on November 8, 2013


So do the DEA or IRS ever actually do anything in this game?

Not sure about the DEA (I kept my risk low), but the IRS will confiscate a percentage of your money.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 9:18 AM on November 8, 2013


Now that we've show its easy to win, the question is: how fast can you get to a million laundered?

mine was like 25 minutes. High risk, and fuck the IRS all they do is confiscate your shit. Go go go.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:00 AM on November 8, 2013


I had been playing this (and Cookie Clicker) in the week leading up to a three week break from the internet. I came back and all my progress was gone, but they had introduced the whole laundering thing. My cookies remained though, and the Grandmapocalypse is in full swing.
posted by A Bad Catholic at 12:06 PM on November 8, 2013


My clicking hand recoiled in Pavlovian anticipation of being subjected another round of sadistic abuse that this game would entail. It never mattered how many anti-matter condensers I had in cookie clicker, I still clicked......
posted by NoRelation at 12:47 PM on November 8, 2013


The last time I played this, it didn't take long for the automatic production rates to greatly overwhelm the clicking production rate. Now, it seems around the 1-3T mark, the reverse is true.
posted by JHarris at 1:06 PM on November 8, 2013


Optimum way to play is probably to avoid purchasing any improvements that are click-improving rather than production improving. Also accept high risks of DEA raids--they seem pretty unlikely.

Sit back and don't click anything. Don't turn the light on either. Its better in the dark. More forgiving.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:09 PM on November 8, 2013


You can have high DEA risks in the beginning, but all the high-selling and high-producing items have low or negative risk. Lawyers, and upgrades that give them -20% risk, are also relatively cheap.

DEA risk stops being a thing pretty early in the game.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:20 PM on November 8, 2013


But there is no need to accept high risks of DEA raids, as several mid-game items reduce raid chances instead of increase, and Lawyers remove 5% of danger fairly cheaply (and become more powerful with several upgrades later on).

More important is noting which items give the most benefit to their price. I suggested earlier always buying one of each tier if it'll let you, but actually the math is that sometimes it's better to buy several of the tier before before getting the next one up, even with the way prices for additional items of a tier shoot up as you buy them.

Around where I am, if you have all the upgrades, I'm making 14M batches a second, but a click on the COOK button makes 29.69M batches. Further, nearly all of those 14M batches are eaten up immediately by sales, which is set up similarly. So, my automatic rate of earning right now is $927M, but I also earn that every time I click the SELL button, provided there's enough meth to sell.

And there are upgrades on the horizon that further double click production and sales at 3.7T, while the next tier of items are up around 41T. So, the clicking game is moving away from the waiting game.

(There appears to be a change in the clicking game from when Clicking Bad came up in the Breaking Bad thread, because now when you buy items that increase the amount you sell automatically, it also seems to make your clicks more effective for some reason.)
posted by JHarris at 1:22 PM on November 8, 2013


The richer you get, the less you have to answer to authorities.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:28 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm just gonna leave this autohotkey script here (Pressing Ctrl-Shift-q clicks the mouse indefinitely until you cancel with Ctrl-Shift-w) while I get $2.5B to buy my Island.
^+q:: ; autoclick
Loop
{
	Click 
	if stoploopq=1
	{
		stoploopq=0
		break
	}
}
return

^+w:: ; stop autoclick
stoploopq = 1
return

posted by fjom at 1:38 PM on November 8, 2013


There's no way I'm going back to *that* again!



Stats

Batches cooked: 5.9T
Batches hand-cooked: 45.1B
Batches sold: 5.91T
Batches hand-sold: 469.17B
Total upgrades purchased: 52
Total cash earned: $367.05T
Seconds spent playing: 13


posted by mikelieman at 1:44 PM on November 8, 2013


Methafilter.
posted by sourcequench at 2:07 PM on November 8, 2013


I can't seem to find the "transfer to checking account" button.
posted by anazgnos at 2:24 PM on November 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


OK, so this is addictive. I've had the window open since this posted.

All I can do is click and lament the poor state of dentistry I've created across the universe.
posted by mochapickle at 2:56 PM on November 8, 2013


It should be noted that Meth-Mart, and its cooking counterpart, each carry a high 55% risk, so that does make the risk reduction items more useful.
posted by JHarris at 4:16 PM on November 8, 2013


There's no better 'risk reduction items' than sleazy lawyers. Buy as many as you need to drive that risk into negative values...
posted by mikelieman at 4:39 PM on November 8, 2013


What are the best strategies for making money fastest? For example, they give you production-distribution pairs. I'm up to the Industrial Complex/Meth-Mart pair. I have one of each. Each cooks/sells 55.21M units per second. To buy another pair of these I need to build up 328.26 trillion dollars.

OK, but the next pair up available for purchase is Heisenbelt/Meth Horizon, which cook/sell 492.01M units per second and cost 820.66 trillion dollars.

I'm sure this is a simple math problem, but wouldn't it be fastest to just wait a little longer and save up for the Heisenbelt pair, instead of buying another Meth-Mart pair?

Another question is is it ever profitable to sell off your older production/distribution pairs? You only get half back what you paid, so it seems to me that you always lose money by selling. The only advantage seems to be getting rid of older ones that elevate your DEA risk and have miniscule profits. But what's the advantage of, say, selling off your old Crooked Senator with the -10 risk?
posted by dgaicun at 5:51 PM on November 8, 2013


I went into that a little above. Compare the price/output ratio of each item, where it stands at that moment, with that of the others you can buy, and buy the one that offers the best. For most of the game that's the newest one you can buy, but it's better to buy lower ones slightly more than upper ones, because with their help you'll get to the better ones faster.

In a little more detail:
You want to minimize the time to the next tier. If it costs 41T to get one that provides 55M meth production (Industrial Complex), check the one before it (Meth Star) and see if it gives you a better ratio. It actually does, up until you've bought two of them. After that, the increasing prices make it so the Industrial Complex is the better deal, but once you bought the two Meth Stars, they'll also decrease the time it takes to save up for the bigger item.

On selling old things, it's important to reduce DEA risk but for no other reason. Because of this, make sure keep everything that reduces risk, and sell off anything with positive risk once it goes obsolete (what that means differs for different people, I consider it to be once it makes up less than a thousandth of your production/distribution).
posted by JHarris at 6:32 PM on November 8, 2013


Also note, it's generally better to have higher production than distribution. It doesn't hurt anything to have a backlog because you can always convert it to cash later (maybe at higher rates) by increasing distribution for a while or clicking.
posted by JHarris at 6:34 PM on November 8, 2013


Stats

Batches cooked: 3.98B
Batches hand-cooked: 16.74M
Batches sold: 2.82B
Batches hand-sold: 59,230
Total upgrades purchased: 37
Total cash earned: $85.84B
Seconds spent playing: 49,945

The key seems to getting to this state:

You have a nearly impossible chance of a DEA raid (-188.5%)
You have a nearly impossible chance of an IRS audit (-50%)

i.e. keep laundering money.

As a matter of fact, once you get up and running, always get money laundering stuff first, and then do other upgrades (manufacturing and distribution) after that.

Once you get you risks into negative figures, you can crank up the income generators, and just leave it running in the background, and just rake it in. I'm pulling in nearly 6 million a second and less than zero risk

I'm perilously close to getting Insider Trading $50.02B ) Improves NYME laundering by $500m per second).

Which will be followed by:

El Presidente - $32.5B — Partner with a dictator of an impoverished country for unchecked meth distribution Sells 1.15M per second; -5% risk

and

Moonlab Alpha - $32.5B — A massive moon laboratory for cooking meth far away from the DEA's clutches Cooks 1.15M per second; 0% risk
posted by Relay at 8:11 PM on November 8, 2013


Currently laundering $9.1 B/sec.
Only making $2.1 B/sec.

I have 2 Meth Stars.

I do not feel nearly accomplished enough.
posted by DoubleLune at 9:21 PM on November 8, 2013


One thing that bothers me is that the "Industrial Complex" is weirdly out of order. It should go Moon Lab -- Death Star Lab -- Galaxy Lab. But somehow this presumably campus-sized lab with "thousands" of employees made it between the lab the size of a small planet, and the lab the size of a giant asteroid belt.

If anything the Industrial Complex should be below the Subterranean Complex, which is already the size of a city.
posted by dgaicun at 9:29 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


My current meth purity is "FDA Approved Additive".

Can't wait to see what it becomes when I spend the $2.1 trillion on the next upgrade. Mandatory school lunch ingredient?
posted by intermod at 9:43 PM on November 8, 2013


There is an update last night, adding another level of production, distribution, and laundering.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:10 AM on November 9, 2013


Also, I think the best strategy for each level is the following:

1. Buy the money/quality upgrade.
2. Buy laundering capacities (these are usually a price level order of magnitude lower than the production/distribution)
3. Alternate buying production and distribution first.

This last rule needs some explanation: if you do production first, then you've got a backlog of product to sell when you move to the next level, when you'll do distribution first. Eventually that'll run out, and probably you'll be hobbled by production. So the next level you'll have so little product that the new level of distribution will be useless, so do production first again.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:28 AM on November 9, 2013


One last thing: it's usually a good idea to buy two of each production and distribution, but only if you're "micro-managing." If you leave it alone for 8 hours, it's easier to just make the jump to the next level.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:34 AM on November 9, 2013


dgaicun: "One thing that bothers me is that the "Industrial Complex" is weirdly out of order. It should go Moon Lab -- Death Star Lab -- Galaxy Lab. But somehow this presumably campus-sized lab with "thousands" of employees made it between the lab the size of a small planet, and the lab the size of a giant asteroid belt.

If anything the Industrial Complex should be below the Subterranean Complex, which is already the size of a city.
"

I don't know about the description of the Galaxy Lab since I haven't seen it yet (and haven't gotten an Industrial Complex yet, though I'm saving up for it), but presumably the Subterranean Lab, Moon Lab, and Meth Star Lab are all constrained in their production by their location and/or remoteness from the meth markets and the various logistical difficulties that go with that, while the Industrial Complex is operating out in the open using any and all available techniques for large scale meth production.

The other kinds are advantageous for their low risk (and increased production relative to other low risk production facilities). The industrial facility, on the other hand is "Cautious? Nope! Effective? You're Goddamn right".

(purity is Beanplate)
posted by Reverend John at 6:38 AM on November 9, 2013


For anyone still wondering, the upgrades are definitely worth the investment. for example, the latest upgrade unlocked for me was Quantum Meth which "This meth is atomically perfect, alowing you to charge an additional $45 per batch" (SIC). My batches are currently selling for $62.50, so buying this upgrade will increase my income generated by 72%.

My problem is how to decrease the chances of IRS confiscation, which is currently 50%. Since "The more laundered to total cash you have, the lower the likelihood that you'll be audited" it looks like I haven't been doing enough laundering.

Hypothesis confirmed, I just started laundering more cash, and my chances of IRS confiscation are now negative 50%.

Like Walter White, I think producing all this meth is putting my marriage at risk. Be warned!
posted by Daddy-O at 6:38 AM on November 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


My problem is how to decrease the chances of IRS confiscation

Yep, just launder more cash/sec than you make. The highest my risk gets up to these days, when I've just spent all my cash and am selling by hand, is around -40%.
posted by DoubleLune at 6:53 AM on November 9, 2013


Hey! My empire is full of sleazy lawyers -- immortal sleazy lawyers with capes! -- and I've been evading the IRS and the DEA pretty effectively (except for that whole having to sleep thing), so why am I now having to bribe government officials?
posted by maudlin at 10:26 AM on November 9, 2013


Oh, wait: "A mystery benefactor has contributed $28.71B to your cause". I guess it all balances out.
posted by maudlin at 10:35 AM on November 9, 2013


Huh...I just "found an extra barrel of meth, with 22M batches inside"!

Clearly it's a Barrel of Holding. But of course that's one of the first magical upgrades a meth wizard is going to want to buy.
posted by darkstar at 10:45 AM on November 9, 2013


Do I have to buy 100 crooked senators to get Government Shutdown? Or just a majority?
posted by mochapickle at 11:01 AM on November 9, 2013


all 100, you have to get total corruption.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 11:34 AM on November 9, 2013


Hmm... I've bought 13 so far and the next one will cost me 300B+.
posted by mochapickle at 12:13 PM on November 9, 2013


This last rule needs some explanation: if you do production first, then you've got a backlog of product to sell when you move to the next level, when you'll do distribution first.

The easiest way to advance is to let the money slowly build in your browser while you sleep or work. The fastest way to advance is to do lots of manual cooking and selling. This never leaves a backlog of product.

For this strategy you do lots of cook and sell clicking to more quickly build up enough capital to buy the next higher manufacturing option. Then when you get that, you don't have to cook anymore -- only sell -- to quickly build up capital to buy the next higher distribution option.
posted by dgaicun at 12:22 PM on November 9, 2013


The new update has another price increase upgrade, at $142T. That might sound like a lot, but the alternative for me right now is Heisenbelt, at over $400T.
posted by JHarris at 12:30 PM on November 9, 2013


The easiest way to advance is to let the money slowly build in your browser while you sleep or work. The fastest way to advance is to do lots of manual cooking and selling. This never leaves a backlog of product.

Wait, are you clicking even in the trillions? Woah.
posted by anotherpanacea at 1:30 PM on November 9, 2013


The money you make clicking increases with each distribution level, so you always get the same relative benefit you did at the beginning. (I'm working up to a $21.91Q "Portal to The Crystalverse" and I get almost 1 trillion extra dollars with each click).
posted by dgaicun at 2:08 PM on November 9, 2013


New message: "You had to pay off a government official with $3.35B."


You know, there were probably cheaper ways to have handled that...
posted by darkstar at 4:24 PM on November 9, 2013


Yeah, I stopped clicking back around the hundred-thousands. Let my minions do the tedious manual labor of cooking. I have a Meth Star to construct!
posted by darkstar at 4:36 PM on November 9, 2013


Am nearly 5 million away from being able to buy a DEA mole. I already have 6 crooked lawyers, don't really want more. But my risk of a DEA raid is HIGH.

What happens if the DEA raids you?
posted by bunderful at 6:16 PM on November 9, 2013


Tired of clicking? Just paste this in your developer console (hit F12 on chrom[e|ium], Ctrl + Shift +K on FF; if you're using IE, use it to download a better browser):
for (var ctr = 1; ctr <= 1000; ctr++) { var gap = 80; setTimeout(function() {gm.do_make_click();}, ctr * 2 * gap); setTimeout(function() {gm.do_sell_click(); }, ((ctr*2)+1) * gap); }
That will click 'Cook' and 'Sell' 1000 times each over about a minute and 20 seconds. This can pretty drastically increase your income rate over the baseline (and my baseline is currently $353B/s, savin' up for the Portal/Church combo).
posted by axiom at 6:20 PM on November 9, 2013


What happens if the DEA raids you?

I think the DEA just seizes your money (and/or drugs, not sure because it's so easy to keep the DEA risk in the negative, I don't think they ever successfully raided me). I have 20 lawyers, and my DEA risk is presently -1,242%. I can probably sell some, huh?
posted by axiom at 6:22 PM on November 9, 2013


I sold some higher-risk items and invested in lower-risk items, and got more lawyers, which put my risk down for a while. The IRS just confiscated a quarter of a million, which doesn't seem to justify all of the risk-aversion measures.
posted by bunderful at 6:41 PM on November 9, 2013


Yeah, they're really just a sideshow to the real game, which is how to most efficiently/quickly scale up your operation. Eventually you'll notice goofy positive random events, like "You found an extra barrel of meth, with 264.91B batches inside!" or "A mystery benefactor has contributed $84.77T to your cause" -- those numbers scale with the size of your operation, and the events seem to happen about half as often as an attempted raid/audit, at least where I am now (2.2B gross prodution, but 0 net and typically 0 batches on hand).
posted by axiom at 6:55 PM on November 9, 2013


I finally got my risk to actually stay low. I have 2 DEA Moles and 17 lawyers. Closing in on my first diplomat.
posted by bunderful at 7:12 PM on November 9, 2013


The source code hides the game's secrets. For example the latest game upgrade made "Holy" meth available, but the code suggests there are at least two more hidden upgrades:
100: 'FDA Approved Additive',
159: 'Atomically Perfect',
250: 'Holy',
300: 'Angelic',
1000: 'Nectar of The Gods'
The source code also contains a hidden upgrade code:
'donator_thanks':{
'label':'Thank You',
'description':'Thanks for donating, your meth is now worth $50 more per batch',
'cost':321500000,

if(imptxt == 'THANK YOU!') {
good_message('You have unlocked the "Thank You" hidden upgrade');
apply_upgrade('donator_thanks');
return;

Got that? Put 'THANK YOU!' into the Back up box and hit 'import' and your meth value goes up $50.
posted by dgaicun at 7:15 PM on November 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Here is one more hidden upgrade (presumably made available on Halloween), and two hidden achievements I found in the source code by control-F'ing "hidden". I have no idea how to get them. It looks like you get special awards for cheating.
'u_trick_or_treat': {
'label':'Trick or Treat',
'description':'Hand out meth like it\'s candy, and sell an additional 200% of sales at a time',
'action':'sell_rps_multiplier',
'purchased':false,
'mod':2,
'hidden':true,
'cost':15000000,
'prereq':'hidden',
'sid':'u47.1',
},


},
'cheated_cash_1':{
'label':'Counterfeiter',
'description':'You\'ve hacked in some cash',
'property':'stats.cheated_cash',
'required':1,
'unlocked':false,
'hidden':true,
'value':1,
'group':230,
'min_time':1,
'sid':'a101',
},
'cheated_meth_1':{
'label':'Meth from nowhere',
'description':'You\'ve hacked in some batches-o-meth',
'property':'stats.cheated_widgets',
'required':1,
'unlocked':false,
'hidden':true,
'value':1,
'group':240,
'min_time':1,
'sid':'a102',
},
posted by dgaicun at 7:30 PM on November 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm still in the trillions, but will leave things to run overnight. Has anyone ventured past the quadrillions yet?
posted by carter at 7:39 PM on November 9, 2013


So, several days later, I'm earning 4.9 trillion dollars per second, selling 23.8 billion batches per second at $210 apiece. I've unlocked all 17 manufacturing items, all 17 distribution items, all 13 laundering items, all 58 upgrades, and bought at least one of everything. I've gotten all 26 of the achievements (not counting the "Counterfeiter" and "Meth from Nowhere" achievements that only show up if you cheat using Javascript hacks).

And the game just keeps going ... there seems to be no endgame, just a Cash Money counter climbing endlessly into the utterly ludicrous quadrillions.

The way a game about feeding addictions actually addicts us is so very meta, and the final realization that the riches beyond imagining are ultimately useless and unrewarding ... it's absolutely brilliant!
posted by Dimpy at 7:45 PM on November 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Here are instructions for unlocking the two cheating achievements (haven't tried it). I googled the Trick-Or-Treat upgrade text and only found one person who mentioned it. He had the upgrade, but didn't know how he got it!
posted by dgaicun at 7:47 PM on November 9, 2013


Here's the script I wrote to play for me:
setInterval('document.getElementById("sell_btn").click(); document.getElementById("make_btn").click()', 10)

posted by jeffamaphone at 9:35 PM on November 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


✗ About 0 batches of meth have gone missing...

Well, that's good to know.
posted by youngergirl44 at 12:03 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I achieved "Shutdown the Government" by buying 100 Corrupt Senators, then I bought 6 more just to see if it would let me. There were cheaper ways to sell product, but I wanted that achievement.
posted by Daddy-O at 12:48 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well I bought 2 Churches of the Crystal and 2 Portals to The Crystalverse. That cost every penny. But... now I just go to sleep and when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be a Quintillionaire.

Suck on it Carlos Slim.
posted by dgaicun at 1:02 AM on November 10, 2013


What abbreviation will it use for quintillion? It's already used Q for quadrillion.
posted by JHarris at 2:20 AM on November 10, 2013


The Cookie Monster addon for Cookie Clicker uses Qa and Qi.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:42 AM on November 10, 2013


ClickingBad uses Qt for quintillion, S for sextillion, and just prints out the entire 25-or-more-digit number for septillions and above.

I know this because I ran the game until 1 quintillion just to see if anything cool happened. Nothing happened except for the new abbreviation. And that's when I read the source code to see if anything cool would ever happen again. Spoiler alert: no.
posted by Dimpy at 7:50 AM on November 10, 2013


Clicking Bad developers blog

There's an Android app. Dear God.
posted by intermod at 8:09 AM on November 10, 2013


I achieved "Shutdown the Government" by buying 100 Corrupt Senators

Everyone knows you only need about 46 senators to shut down the government.
posted by no regrets, coyote at 9:14 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ted Cruz resents your inaccurate statement.
posted by Daddy-O at 11:42 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I sold my senators when I got into space mules. But I want the government shutdown achievement dammit!
posted by bunderful at 2:27 PM on November 10, 2013


I finally finished the game! They added two upgrades while I was playing it the last couple days, but I bought everything, got every acheivment!
posted by mathowie at 5:19 PM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


WELL. Thank goodness THAT is over with.

*still kind of tweaking*

mathowie, did you get the two hidden hacking ones (Meth from Nowhere and Counterfeiter)?
posted by Madamina at 12:33 PM on November 11, 2013


I just got to that point too, except for the hidden ones, which I don't care about. Time to put this away until the next time they update, where I'll probably load it up and discover my save's been erased again.
posted by JHarris at 1:13 PM on November 11, 2013


I'd been playing a couple of days, coming up on my first Trillion, when the lovely inactive tab reload bugfeature on my iPad struck and it reset my game when I wasn't looking.

For approximately two seconds, I was pissed. Then immensely grateful.

Fun game, though!
posted by darkstar at 2:38 PM on November 11, 2013


I got really impatient after my first 100 Trillion. Worse, I wasn't doing other things I needed to do online because when I opened another window my computer would overheat. I finally closed it down. Sigh. I had 24 senators, coupla island nations, a few moon labs and space mules .... those were the days...
posted by bunderful at 7:50 PM on November 11, 2013


I did it! Everything that could get bought, did! *Happy Dance.*

But what was it for? *Gun in mouth...*

I'm still having some trouble closing the window.
posted by rue72 at 1:05 AM on November 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


I did it too, except for the secret levels I'm not going to bother with. In the beginning, there's a lot of furious clicking and juggling of manufacturing, distribution, and money laundering to keep the DEA and IRS at bay, but once you've got the risks down to negative levels you can
just sit back and watch your operation grow while the money pours in. Kind of like the Koch brothers.
posted by Daddy-O at 5:43 AM on November 12, 2013


Kind of grinding through the quadrillions at the moment. But it's pretty much running itself. I'm not sure it ever finishes in terms of cooking and selling. I'll leave it on for a couple more days, hopefully.
posted by carter at 12:59 PM on November 12, 2013


I wrote a script to track which manufacturing/distribution/laundering was best in $/batch/second, $/sales/second or $/launder$/second, instead of glancing at the numbers and doing math in my head. Quite often, the ignored lower-tier items give the best value, but then you end up with much higher DEA risks. E.g., before buying 1 Underground Laboratory, it's cost effective to buy 10 Storage Sheds [if you have the shed propane upgrade] except the latter brings 50% DEA risk with it… I guess the calculation should include the cost of the risk-reduction (e.g., if your lawyers are at -10% and otherwise the most cost-effective risk reduction, and this item is 5% then add half the cost of a lawyer)
posted by jepler at 5:08 AM on November 14, 2013


That's confusing. Open up a window and then dock it. Forget that you have one docked and open up a new one. Come back after some activity and you'll have two different views.
posted by unliteral at 6:05 PM on November 14, 2013


Finished, finally! (The last couple of achievements I only got by first leaving it open and forgetting about it for around a week until I had multiple quadrillions. The only way to win is not to play?)
posted by en forme de poire at 8:35 AM on November 15, 2013


Save yourself the trouble of playing and import this:

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
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:41 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Heh -- looks like you don't even need to leave the window open; I just checked back in on mine and it's been quietly cooking away (currently about $500Q cash, with 1Qt batches unsold, $30Q laundered. Apparently my production and distribution were a wee bit out of whack.)

As a bonus it looks like audits and raids only happen when you have the window open

It's kind of amazing how compelling a glorified progress bar can be, isn't it?
posted by ook at 10:58 AM on November 15, 2013


Huh. Mine stops cooking when I close the window. Maybe it's a Chrome thing?
posted by anotherpanacea at 1:38 PM on November 15, 2013


no, I was just being stupid, I just checked again and you're right. I must have left off with more cash than I remembered a week ago...
posted by ook at 2:19 PM on November 15, 2013


So I wrote a bot to play the game. It's a client-side userscript which you can install with greasemonkey or similar. It almost exclusively uses DOM operations to read the screen and click buttons, though it does make calls to gm.sell_click() and gm.buy_click() instead of triggering "click" on the button divs because doing the latter triggers some sort of internal error in Clicking Bad that I couldn't sort out. Ran it overnight here, and the little guy bought himself up to a Moonbase Alpha and some Space Mules; now he's working on buying the Meth Star. I'm so proud.
posted by jepler at 6:58 AM on November 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


And a day later, 9 portals + 9 churches. good going, meth bot
posted by jepler at 6:49 AM on November 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh no! he's added another two achievements:

Burnout
You've managed a meth empire for a month! Dayum!
Junkie
You've managed a meth empire for an entire week!

I'm never going to finish this thing.
posted by unliteral at 3:15 PM on November 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I ran jepler's bot, and now I have 1,530 Used RV's.
posted by box at 7:30 PM on November 17, 2013


I briefly formulated the goal of producing a steady-state version of the maxed-out playthrough, with 0 batches cooked per second (net) and 0% chance of an IRS audit or DEA raid. But you can't get enough detail on the laundering facilities: it's always just a little more or a less than you're selling each second. :-(
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:56 AM on November 18, 2013


Achieved. Of course, there's no way to correct for found batches and found money, but since found money is laundered but the profit from sales of found batches aren't it *might* level off. If you want to keep this running somewhere and have it never change, this should produce equilibrium in risk and sales, forever:

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
posted by anotherpanacea at 9:00 AM on November 18, 2013


And if you want to add another set of Portals/Churches, you'll need to also purchase the following to keep laundering at exactly the same pace. (Note that the actual IRS figure will change, but you can click sell to get back to 0%.)

Two Space Corps
Five Cantinas
Two Food Franchises
One NYME
Twenty-Five Offshore Accounts
Nine Online Donations
Fourteen Car Washes
Seven Laser Tag
Five Chicken Restaurants
Four Banana Stands
One Nail Salon
Eight Lemonade Stands
posted by anotherpanacea at 9:17 AM on November 18, 2013


Ack! I forgot about the fact that Portals have DEA risk. Oh, well. I quit.
posted by anotherpanacea at 9:22 AM on November 18, 2013


box, yeah, the bot I wrote is happy to spend time buying lots of low-cost items when they're the most effective in terms of dollars per batch per second (plus there's a term for the cost to buy risk management but I'm not sure I got that bit entirely right). I have 12 Portals now, the cost to buy the next one is 7.41Qt, for a price of 343 million per batch per second. Of Used RVs I have 4042 and the next one is 6.87B, for a price of 343 million per batch per second.
posted by jepler at 3:18 PM on November 18, 2013


Does the bot keep you at -50% IRS risk or at 0% IRS risk?
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:31 PM on November 18, 2013


From what I've seen, it tries to keep you at negative IRS, but doesn't obsess about going much more below 0%.

I started running it on the game I (re)started when this post went up. It spend a good long while buying all the cheap stuff I bypasses during the game, but now it's settled in to waiting for Portals/Churches to become affordable. It's at 46 T$/sec, but the next Portal costs 1.77 quintillion.

Someone remind me why I'm playing this again?
posted by JHarris at 7:05 PM on November 18, 2013


The IRS and DEA risk aversity is at the top of the .js file; I think they're set at 15%. It is when you're above that risk that it will buy mitigation. Somewhat arbitrarily, it will buy other stuff when IRS risk is high, but buying DEA mitigation takes precedence over buying production or other sales units. (It's not entirely arbitrary, because buying anything at all lowers IRS risk) (actually, it'll buy upgrades at any time too)

jarris, it's to get the (new) week and month awards, I think. If there even needs to be a reason.
posted by jepler at 7:14 PM on November 18, 2013


er, JHarris, sorry for mangling your name :-/
posted by jepler at 7:50 PM on November 18, 2013


So, I decided to get out of the meth business.

I sold off all manufacturing and laundering facilities, and then after all batches were sold, I sold off all dealing facilities.

Now I'm sitting on a fully laundered $2.3 quintillion.

What do I do with all this money?
posted by darkstar at 9:30 PM on November 19, 2013


I dunno, cookies? Candy?
posted by JHarris at 10:50 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meth?
posted by mikelieman at 3:22 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


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