We're ALL bachelors
November 19, 2013 12:23 PM Subscribe
The First Gay Bachelor with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei
Just your daily reminder from a humor site and celebrity gays that traditional gender roles are all about the commodification of sexuality.
(In other words, the fact that a gay Bachelor wouldn't work is a feature of homosexuality, not a bug.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:40 PM on November 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
(In other words, the fact that a gay Bachelor wouldn't work is a feature of homosexuality, not a bug.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:40 PM on November 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
Also features Bryan Safi, of (among other things) the amazing Throwing Shade podcast.
posted by saladin at 12:42 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by saladin at 12:42 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I remember Boy Meets Boy, which was a humiliating turn on the Bachelor-type show with a gay guy looking for love, with the twist being...some of the guys he was dating were straight! It was a totally disgusting premise, along with Playing It Straight, which was the same thing in reverse.
posted by xingcat at 12:46 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 12:46 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Who is the actor playing pool at 1:19?
"I even kept the guy who loves carbs around to appear open-minded" is hilarious but not as hilarious as the last line.
posted by griphus at 1:01 PM on November 19, 2013
"I even kept the guy who loves carbs around to appear open-minded" is hilarious but not as hilarious as the last line.
posted by griphus at 1:01 PM on November 19, 2013
Look we can't let the straights know about our actual dating rituals, the bowers, the bloodletting, the seven rings binding the seven queens of heaven , the terrible secret of space - it would do to much damage, let them continue to think we "meet for coffee" or "have dinner." the truth would lead to madness, terror, and despair.
posted by The Whelk at 1:01 PM on November 19, 2013 [13 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:01 PM on November 19, 2013 [13 favorites]
"I even kept the guy who loves carbs around to appear open-minded
This PC crap goes too bar, lips that touch dirt apples will never touch mine.
posted by The Whelk at 1:02 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
This PC crap goes too bar, lips that touch dirt apples will never touch mine.
posted by The Whelk at 1:02 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
wait what is a dirt apple
posted by Teakettle at 1:05 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Teakettle at 1:05 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
This PC crap goes too bar, lips that touch dirt apples will never touch mine.
so the Whelk started speaking in tongues
posted by Think_Long at 1:07 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
so the Whelk started speaking in tongues
posted by Think_Long at 1:07 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
You edit that away, poe! Everyone needs to just have their worst imaginable presumptions about what a Dirt Apple is.
posted by mediocre at 1:11 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by mediocre at 1:11 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I am regretting my participation in this thread because it turns out you never want carbs so bad as when you stop eating them and then start again and know for a fact what it is that you are giving up.
posted by griphus at 1:13 PM on November 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by griphus at 1:13 PM on November 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
wait what is a dirt apple
twenty bucks, same as in town
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 1:17 PM on November 19, 2013 [12 favorites]
twenty bucks, same as in town
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 1:17 PM on November 19, 2013 [12 favorites]
In other words, the fact that a gay Bachelor wouldn't work is a feature of homosexuality, not a bug.
Yeah, like that old marriage joke that gay people should have the right to make each other as miserable as the rest of us...
posted by jimmythefish at 1:29 PM on November 19, 2013
Yeah, like that old marriage joke that gay people should have the right to make each other as miserable as the rest of us...
posted by jimmythefish at 1:29 PM on November 19, 2013
the terrible secret of space
Wait, is The Whelk the Kwisatz Haderach?
posted by kmz at 1:47 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Wait, is The Whelk the Kwisatz Haderach?
posted by kmz at 1:47 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
The Whelk: This PC crap goes too bar, lips that touch dirt apples will never touch mine.
Think_Long: so the Whelk started speaking in tongues
Nope, I think he's been infested by horse_ebooks.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:58 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Think_Long: so the Whelk started speaking in tongues
Nope, I think he's been infested by horse_ebooks.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:58 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Look we can't let the straights know about our actual dating rituals, the bowers, the bloodletting, the seven rings binding the seven queens of heaven, the terrible secret of space
holy crap, I never guessed Anne Bishop's Black Jewels slashfic was a documentary
posted by nicebookrack at 2:19 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
holy crap, I never guessed Anne Bishop's Black Jewels slashfic was a documentary
posted by nicebookrack at 2:19 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I remember Boy Meets Boy, which was a humiliating turn on the Bachelor-type show with a gay guy looking for love, with the twist being...some of the guys he was dating were straight! It was a totally disgusting premise, along with Playing It Straight, which was the same thing in reverse.
Why is that "totally disgusting"?
posted by dontjumplarry at 2:52 PM on November 19, 2013
Why is that "totally disgusting"?
posted by dontjumplarry at 2:52 PM on November 19, 2013
I mean, all these shows are about entertainment -- and choreographed public humiliation/rejection. It's not like the all-straight versions are about an authentic search for trulove.
posted by dontjumplarry at 2:54 PM on November 19, 2013
posted by dontjumplarry at 2:54 PM on November 19, 2013
I remember Boy Meets Boy, which was a humiliating turn on the Bachelor-type show with a gay guy looking for love, with the twist being...some of the guys he was dating were straight! It was a totally disgusting premise, along with Playing It Straight, which was the same thing in reverse.
Why is that "totally disgusting"?
Because the entire purpose of the show seems to be humiliation? Not only do we have the usual pathetic singles who feel the need to go on tv and compete desperately for the Bachelor's/Bachelorette's affections (which is already exploitative and one reason why I don't watch those shows), now we have the added humiliation of the Bachelor possibly falling for someone who will only laugh in his face because, ha ha, joke's on you, I'm not into other men. A fact which the Bachelor will only discover after he makes the decision to commit to that person.
I can't think how that show would NOT be disgusting, honestly.
posted by misha at 3:25 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Why is that "totally disgusting"?
Because the entire purpose of the show seems to be humiliation? Not only do we have the usual pathetic singles who feel the need to go on tv and compete desperately for the Bachelor's/Bachelorette's affections (which is already exploitative and one reason why I don't watch those shows), now we have the added humiliation of the Bachelor possibly falling for someone who will only laugh in his face because, ha ha, joke's on you, I'm not into other men. A fact which the Bachelor will only discover after he makes the decision to commit to that person.
I can't think how that show would NOT be disgusting, honestly.
posted by misha at 3:25 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I love that they committed to what I've dubbed the Gay Rule of 5: basically, if there are at least five guys present in any social setting, they will NOT SHUT UP when someone's trying to get their attention unless the speaker goes Full Bitch on them.
posted by psoas at 3:58 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by psoas at 3:58 PM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
the terrible secret of space
I am frowning at you so hard.
posted by angerbot at 4:45 PM on November 19, 2013
I am frowning at you so hard.
posted by angerbot at 4:45 PM on November 19, 2013
the terrible secret of space
Spoilers: Venus power = radiation = the Devil!
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 7:21 PM on November 19, 2013
Spoilers: Venus power = radiation = the Devil!
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 7:21 PM on November 19, 2013
the entire purpose of the show seems to be humiliation?
The same might be said of most network television. With the audience being the target.
posted by Twang at 7:29 PM on November 19, 2013
The same might be said of most network television. With the audience being the target.
posted by Twang at 7:29 PM on November 19, 2013
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm an N'Sync."
posted by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on November 19, 2013
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm a trial attorney."
"I'm an N'Sync."
posted by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on November 19, 2013
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George Takei is always a worthy consolation prize to disappointment though.
posted by mediocre at 12:33 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]