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Is it cutting off someone's penis?
March 19, 2014 10:04 PM   Subscribe

Ethan explaining "Cockblocking" to his Grandfather
posted by pjern (42 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Back in the old days...they didn't have cocks.
posted by hal_c_on at 10:24 PM on March 19 [2 favorites]


I'm jealous of anyone who has grandparents that actively deter cockblocking.
posted by oceanjesse at 10:25 PM on March 19 [3 favorites]


I am now dying to make a series of videos with my grandparents about dating when they were teens/twenties vs. today.

I mean, they met at an amusement park when my grandfather was in the Navy and my grandmother was a telephone operator. How could they not have serious wisdom?
posted by Sara C. at 10:31 PM on March 19 [5 favorites]


My kingdom for an img tag.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:38 PM on March 19 [2 favorites]


Is it just me who feels like "cockblock" often has a really ugly sense of sexual entitlement behind it the same way "friendzone" does? I can't hear the word without getting a little bit skeeved out.
posted by Wemmick at 11:21 PM on March 19 [31 favorites]


Ethan seems a bit confused about the definition himself.
posted by mullacc at 11:37 PM on March 19 [1 favorite]


Is it just me who feels like "cockblock" often has a really ugly sense of sexual entitlement behind it the same way "friendzone" does? I can't hear the word without getting a little bit skeeved out.

That's what makes it a curse, and not something from Tiffany's table manners.
posted by hal_c_on at 11:38 PM on March 19


Tick tock I want to rock you
Like the eighties
Cock blocking isn't allowed

Cockblocking used to mean the exact opposite of sexual entitlement. Thanks to progressives, it's no longer allowed.
posted by three blind mice at 11:48 PM on March 19


Is it just me who feels like "cockblock" often has a really ugly sense of sexual entitlement behind it the same way "friendzone" does? I can't hear the word without getting a little bit skeeved out.

I'm legitimately confused as to how someone could use their jump to conclusions mat and get to this.

I associate it with like, some guy being frustrated with his friend because they intentionally ruined his date because they were jealous, or something. I mean i know you could bro it up a lot more and make it gross, but selling it as something gross by default is kind of crappy.

I only really ever hear it used completely sarcastically, and fairly often by lady-friends as well or when no cock was even involved.
posted by emptythought at 12:27 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]


Obvious cockblockers in this thread.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:30 AM on March 20 [3 favorites]


I think you're getting it, grandpa! Tomorrow we'll talk about clam-jamming.
posted by codswallop at 12:30 AM on March 20


I watched this and a couple of their other videos. They're scripted, but they're still funny. Too many of the videos in this vein try to produce humor from the assumption that older people are somehow "cute" or sheltered when the reality is they have had way more life and sexual experience than you. My grandpa just turned 95 and it's hard for me to imagine how much more sex than me he's had. This series strikes a good balance.

Vaguely related, but Magic Mike has a slightly subtle but very funny visual gag involving a penis pump. The two women in front of me, who I would peg at late 70s, started laughing a full five seconds before I figured the joke out.
posted by edeezy at 12:31 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]


Remember Granpa, when you had your hat blocked?
posted by telstar at 1:06 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


Magic Mike has a slightly subtle but very funny visual gag involving a penis pump. The two women in front of me, who I would peg at late 70s, started laughing a full five seconds before I figured the joke out.
posted by edeezy at 12:31 AM on March 20 [+] [!]


Julian Clary, a UK comedian who specialises in double-entendres, once told me it's always the sweet little old ladies in his audience who laugh most of all at his filthiest jokes.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:19 AM on March 20 [4 favorites]


Both of the oldies were very good sports. I really wanted to like it, but get the feeling is that the joke is supposed to be on the elderly... "look how silly/naive they are"... maybe I'm over-reading the situation? Also, do young males really say "chicks"? Really?
posted by greenhornet at 1:51 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


do young males really say "chicks"? Really?

I guarantee that "chicks" as slang is older than anyone in this video.
posted by Winnemac at 3:09 AM on March 20


i dunno but that young guy was such a smarmy dudebro i am not really sad about his tales of cockblocking.
posted by angrycat at 3:15 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


I'm legitimately confused as to how someone could use their jump to conclusions mat and get to this.

I think that the vague creepiness of the term lies in the way it infers that once one guy is talking to a girl, she is somehow his, and another friend attempting to talk to her is "stealing" her - it doesn't leave the woman in question with much agency or choice in the matter. At least that's what strikes me as distasteful about it.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:36 AM on March 20 [17 favorites]


5_13_23_42_69_666: "I think that the vague creepiness of the term lies in the way it infers that once one guy is talking to a girl, she is somehow his, and another friend attempting to talk to her is "stealing" her - it doesn't leave the woman in question with much agency or choice in the matter. At least that's what strikes me as distasteful about it."

This is kinda my feeling on it too. Plus, the bro-code norm against cock-blocking pretty strongly discourages intervention in creepy/harassing scenarios where the woman really isn't interested or isn't sober enough to consent to anything. How often has the prevention of assault been called a cockblock? I know it can be used in a fairly harmless sarcastic fashion, but it seems like there's considerable sincere usage of the term among fedora-clad PUA types and fraternities.
posted by Wemmick at 4:17 AM on March 20 [10 favorites]


Grandmother says to friend on phone:

"Don't you think that everyone should have a chance at it"?

So that seems like Grandma just provided the friend with a reason to continue cockblocking her Grandson.

I think that the vague creepiness of the term lies in the way it infers that once one guy is talking to a girl, she is somehow his, and another friend attempting to talk to her is "stealing" her - it doesn't leave the woman in question with much agency or choice in the matter. At least that's what strikes me as distasteful about it."

This describes perfectly my own distaste for the term.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 4:43 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


So freaking hilarious. Definitely watch til the grandfather starts busting on his grandson. Made the whole thing for me.

I hope one day to be an old person when I grow up.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:48 AM on March 20


Who says women don't cockblock women?
posted by oceanjesse at 5:13 AM on March 20


I only really ever hear it used completely sarcastically, and fairly often by lady-friends as well or when no cock was even involved.

The only person who has ever accused me of cockblocking them is my wife.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:34 AM on March 20 [3 favorites]


I only really ever hear it used completely sarcastically, and fairly often by lady-friends as well or when no cock was even involved.

The term I would use (but, as of yet, have not) as a lady is "clam jamming."
posted by little_dog_laughing at 7:02 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


once one guy is talking to a girl, she is somehow his, and another friend attempting to talk to her is "stealing" her

I don't think "stealing" or property is really what the cock-blocking accusation is about, though.

Usually I hear it used to describe someone being a third wheel (you're talking to someone you like, then your annoying friend comes up and WILL NOT LEAVE) or someone participating in the conversation in a way that makes you look unattractive ("Hey, Sara, remember when we were at Duane Reade and none of the deodorant was strong enough for your BO?").

I've also used it to describe the general situation of being out with someone who's a platonic friend, but everybody thinks you're together. But I'm a woman with a lot of male friends, so that probably subtly influences my experience of cockblocking. Like if I'm out with a bunch of guys, and a friend of mine starts talking to a woman, I won't go up to them* because I don't want the woman to assume I'm the guy's girlfriend.

I think reading ideas about consent into it is stretching the concept pretty far. I've seen plenty of situations where someone stepped in to stop their friend from being a dick or doing something inappropriate.

*I mean obviously this would be different if my friend was harassing the woman in question, because I'm not an asshole.
posted by Sara C. at 7:23 AM on March 20 [3 favorites]


I think you're getting it, grandpa! Tomorrow we'll talk about clam-jamming.
posted by codswallop at 2:30 AM on March 20


Eponysterical?
posted by blurker at 7:51 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


Next in the series, The Cleveland Steamer, Rodeo and The Donkey Punch.
posted by Chuffy at 9:15 AM on March 20


...but, to be fair, Ethan is not particularly bright or good looking...
posted by Chuffy at 9:18 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


There's another video in the series where the grandfather is like "jeez no wonder you're 30 and not [AND I QUOTE] 'going with anybody yet'." With this distinct sneer of judgment that is brilliant.
posted by Sara C. at 9:27 AM on March 20


I'm pretty sure the entire joke is that Ethan is a total chump getting owned by his grandparents.

Right?
posted by Sara C. at 9:30 AM on March 20


I concur that the young man is not quite defining the word correctly, and Sara C.s usage is how I've heard it. I would expect it to appear in the OED citing the proper authorities thusly:

COCKBLOCK
/kɒkblɒk/

Forms: cockblock, cock block

1. To hamper by one's presence (by active interference, or passively by being terminally a drag etc.) another's pursuit of romantic adventures.

2013 Anon. Delta Gamma sorority board member, quoted in Gawker. "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter"
posted by Erasmouse at 9:35 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


Agreed Erasmouse, I came in here to say that.

I've always pictured cockblock like when a guy tries to hit on a girl at the bar, and she doesn't like him, and so all her guyfriends form a defensive line around her until the dude in question leaves. So the agency does lie with the woman since she tells her friends to get the guy to stop harassing her. At least that's how I experienced it.

I suppose there's other times when guy A tries to hit on a girl and another guy B who is interested in her tries to thwart him off by being super-friendly to A and yet making it difficult to get access to her. Doesn't assume B 'owns' the girl but that hey, all is fair in love & war.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 10:33 AM on March 20


St. Peepsburg, I don't think that's what cockblocking is. Though I would like a convenient slang term for it. Exit Strategy? Escape Hatch? Rescue Mission?

Because, yeah, there is totally an unspoken thing where either

A) you look over at a girlfriend, notice she's being accosted by some dickhead, and come to her rescue in a friendly manner

or

B) a girlfriend gives you the side eye or a gesture of some kind, and this is a mutually understood cry for help.

Helpful interference is not the same thing as being cockblocked. Usually being cockblocked by a friend is something you don't want to happen. And you can't be cockblocked by someone who isn't already your friend. There's an implied friendly fire angle.

There's also the related "text me at 9:30 so I can use it as an excuse to leave this potentially shitty date" phenomenon, but that strays pretty wildly off the topic of cockblocking and also I'm not sure that's really an actual thing.
posted by Sara C. at 10:44 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


I want you all to know that "clam-jamming" has taken up residence in my head like a hyphenated ear worm. A HORRIBLE ear worm.
posted by angrycat at 10:48 AM on March 20


Is it just me who feels like "cockblock" often has a really ugly sense of sexual entitlement behind it the same way "friendzone" does?

Since you asked, I'll answer: It's just you.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 10:49 AM on March 20 [1 favorite]


I think that the vague creepiness of the term lies in the way it infers that once one guy is talking to a girl, she is somehow his, and another friend attempting to talk to her is "stealing" her - it doesn't leave the woman in question with much agency or choice in the matter. At least that's what strikes me as distasteful about it.

You can read it this way, or you can read it as an agreement between friends to not awkwardly jam up eachothers flirting just because they end up being attracted to the same person. Which is, you know, not gender or hetero specific.

All the language about it, even in its most broiest of usages, centers around not being an asshole to your friends.

It's not about the person being hit on being the other persons property, it's about not third wheeling your friend. I have no idea how people started taking it to the "this woman is my property and you're stealing her oog oog caveman" sort of extremes.

This sort of thing can apply in all kinds of conversations with a new person, or a new group of people when a friend awkwardly barges in and tries to take over or just dominates the conversation. Or, inadvertently or not tanks it. But you add in flirting/sex/etc and suddenly people get psychology degrees.

Which also, isn't even getting in to the fact that this term has been completely ridden in to the ground of meaninglessness like "twerk". I most often hear stuff like "Oh man, we were gonna play second tonight but we got cockblocked by Gabe"

And yes, some fratty brodudes will literally say "she was mine dude". And while there's gross overtones there, taking that and going "DAE think anyone who says this might think women are their possessions?" is sort of a stretchy leap to make.
posted by emptythought at 11:45 AM on March 20


Now that young woman often develop "lady boners," they have equal claim to the the concept of cockblocking.
posted by mullacc at 11:57 AM on March 20


Agreed Erasmouse, I came in here to say that.

I've always pictured cockblock like when a guy tries to hit on a girl at the bar, and she doesn't like him, and so all her guyfriends form a defensive line around her until the dude in question leaves.


Hmm.. in that case we don't agree, as I don't think you would ever say, "Thanks for cockblocking that guy!" in anything other than a tone dripping with hostile irony. There's an implication of, you have your game on with some dude, and then bam, your friend leaps in and begins sad story about dead pets or insists on being more charming and loveable than you.. cockblocked! Or, clam-jammed!!

Anyways I have no idea why I'm setting myself up as an authority on meatmarket terms, as I haven't been single in yonks, for which I thank the gods every single day, I'm basing this on listening to the Young People in the office and recollecting the Good Hideous Old Days..
posted by Erasmouse at 12:16 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]


Who says women don't cockblock women?

They certainly can and do. I'd never heard the expression "clam-jamming" to describe the phenomenon but did hear it referred to as "beaver-damming," which I found pretty funny.
posted by Devils Slide at 12:36 PM on March 20 [3 favorites]


I wonder if Grandpa would recognize the term, "bird-dogging," which is related, though not quite the same. I also wonder if Ethan would recognize it.
posted by Jode at 1:07 PM on March 20


I enjoyed this just because it is nice and somewhat unusual to see twenty-somethings depicted as having loving and affectionate interactions with their grandparents.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:59 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]


The only person who has ever accused me of cockblocking them is my wife.

You shouldn't have salted my game.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 3:14 PM on March 20 [4 favorites]


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