Skip

A slightly different format
April 4, 2014 12:29 AM   Subscribe


 
... every old story is new again, with moar social media apparently.
posted by Yowser at 12:44 AM on April 4


"went offline"? booo. and they were doing so well with the details of texting, particularly the "is typing..." pauses.
posted by flod at 12:52 AM on April 4




Linda, the call is coming from inside your pants. Get out of your pants. Linda, do you hear me? For God's sake, get out of your pants!
posted by XMLicious at 12:54 AM on April 4 [12 favorites]


and they were doing so well with the details of texting, particularly the "is typing..." pauses.

Actually, that's where it broke down for me, as it was allegedly found as a chat history, so those pauses shouldn't be there.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:01 AM on April 4 [6 favorites]


Image 1 of 137
posted by user92371 at 1:18 AM on April 4


I was so expecting one of those loud-scream-with-scary-face-shock-site things at the end.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:38 AM on April 4 [7 favorites]


That's a pretty crappy way to find out if someone's into you, Annie. You could've just asked what the winky faces mean oner on the Green and they'd have helped you out.
posted by NoraReed at 1:44 AM on April 4 [6 favorites]


I found the format and the delays to be annoying - I only have so much time during my tea break - so I just skipped to look at the source code. Pretty creepy concept, yes, but too silly for my taste.
posted by YAMWAK at 2:38 AM on April 4 [2 favorites]


who texts people while there's a monster in their house i mean really
posted by empath at 2:42 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


There is a monster in my house. What do?
April 4, 2014 1:15 AM

It has a face that isn't a face and it's calling my name with a deep booming voice. I'm hiding in the pantry with a kitchen knife. My question is this: How do I appropriately express my anger at his intrusion without hurting his feelings?

posted by empath to Home & Garden- 11 answers (2 new) +
posted by empath at 2:48 AM on April 4 [33 favorites]


IMPORTANT: is the monster a cat?
posted by Going To Maine at 2:49 AM on April 4 [2 favorites]


IMPORTANT: is the monster a cat?

If so, no one will answer until you post pictures.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:08 AM on April 4 [8 favorites]


who texts people while there's a monster in their house i mean really

Lovecraft.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:34 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


Well, technically, "Lovecraft imitators," although Lovecraft did use it to more silly than scary effect in Dagon (where it's possible the whole story is spoken, not written making it a bit less ludicrous) and the ghost-written "Diary of Alonzo Typer," where Lovecraft had little incentive to bring his A game.

This is an interesting idea, and the story is OK and nicely ambiguous at the end (although I am heartily sick of the "twist ending" approach to horror), but the slowness of the delivery increased not tension but annoyance as I tapped my screen with increasing irritation. I read horror for the scare and the images, not for the danger of carpel tunnel problems.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:11 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


Hit "post" too soon. If if the story had generated the messages without the tapping, that would have been an improvement.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:12 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


Linda, the call is coming from inside your pants.

"Samantha Brown! You have to get out of here! Your vagina is haunted!"
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:16 AM on April 4 [7 favorites]


IMPORTANT: is the monster a cat?

Monsters are weird.

who texts people while there's a monster in their house i mean really

If you're avoiding making noise it makes sense. Doesn't Veronica Mars do it a few times to get out of sticky situations?
posted by NoraReed at 4:19 AM on April 4 [4 favorites]


BUT THEN WHO WAS PHONE
posted by kagredon at 4:20 AM on April 4 [10 favorites]




Well, if nothing else the format was novel. The "... is typing" was a cool way to build suspense. I laughed at the purple prose over txt for the most part.
posted by codacorolla at 5:47 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


I liked it.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 6:03 AM on April 4


I enjoyed that temporary suspension of disbelief.
posted by surplus at 6:10 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


who texts people while there's a monster in their house i mean really

There's a pilot project going on in my town right now to allow people to text-message 911, because apparently there are some people who just wouldn't think about actually calling 911.

I am sorta comfortable leaving this up for natural selection to take care of, but I guess there's some Federal grant money available.
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:33 AM on April 4 [4 favorites]


I put on my robe and wizard hat...Oh, what's that, a different chatlog?
posted by Literaryhero at 6:54 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


who texts people while there's a monster in their house i mean really

Lovecraft.


nyarlatbubbahotep69: yog-sothoth save me—the tree-lobbed binging wee. . .

nyarlatbubbahotep69: *three-lobed burning eye

nyarlatbubbahotep69: fucking autocorrect

nyarlatbubbahotep69: but seriously, iä iä or whatevs
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 7:05 AM on April 4 [14 favorites]


MetaFilter is snarking....

MetaFilter is snarking....

MetaFilter is snarking....
posted by mochapickle at 7:19 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


It's a well-known fact that autocorrect is the Devil as far as technomancers are concerned. No, I mean literally the Devil. Nothing gets you a "summoning mishap" faster. Make sure your soul back-up is always up to date before you auto-invoke.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:23 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


EMMA: Gary, it's in the house. It's terrible presence is taking over my mind! Oh, good lord, please save my soul from this terrible abomination!

GARY: idk like for pounds or w/e, never shld eaten that taco beel dude, lol wrapped around the toilet!

EMMA: What?

[GARY IS TYPING]

GARY: sorry bae, wrong convo :emoji of italian chef dropping a cake on the ground:
posted by codacorolla at 7:28 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


It has a face that isn't a face and it's calling my name with a deep booming voice. I'm hiding in the pantry with a kitchen knife. My question is this: How do I appropriately express my anger at his intrusion without hurting his feelings?

You should talk to a therapist.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:21 AM on April 4 [1 favorite]


I had to stop and check that the page wasn't intercepting and redirecting mouseclicks, partway through, thinking how much damage I could be doing to my file system ....

"I'm in your computer ...."
posted by hank at 8:24 AM on April 4


"There is a freak/monster/something in the house, and you are locked in the closet with a knife, and the cops are 30 minutes away! Don't worry, I'll text you every ten minutes."
posted by dirtdirt at 9:24 AM on April 4 [2 favorites]


There's a pilot project going on in my town right now to allow people to text-message 911

This will require new emojis. Emergency emojis. Emerjis.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:27 AM on April 4 [3 favorites]


Lots of "!" I assume.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:07 AM on April 4


"Annie, is there a gun in your house?"
"Yeah..."
"Annie, get your gun. LOL"
posted by Clandestine Outlawry at 10:26 AM on April 4 [7 favorites]


The gun part was just weird, because the time stamps used a period between the hour and minute so I assumed these people were not in the US, but then I'd hardly expect someone from anywhere else to even assume to ask if there's a gun in the house.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:24 PM on April 4


Yeah the whole thing seemed more like a shaggy dog story leading to that joke.

And yet it kept going on...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:33 PM on April 4


Pretty good copypasta, but I really liked the presentation and the "is typing ..." delays.
posted by rmd1023 at 1:58 PM on April 4 [2 favorites]


I don't get the ending. Is the monster now pretending to be Annie? Then why did it look like mcdavey? If it was a the Thing / T-1000 type deal, it wouldn't look like someone it hadn't had contact with yet.

And what did Johnny do that was so unbelievable?
posted by condour75 at 2:37 PM on April 4


The monster never existed.

The whole thing was a ploy to make Johnny tell Alice he liked her.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:49 PM on April 4


er, creepypasta, of course, not copypasta. I can't even blame that on autocorrect.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:27 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]


The way they kept typing each other's name (when they were the only two chatting) made it felt too scripted. I know fictional characters do this for the viewer/reader's benefit, but people wouldn't do it this much in real life, would they, MetaFilter?
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 8:43 PM on April 4


The gun part was just weird, because the time stamps used a period between the hour and minute so I assumed these people were not in the US, but then I'd hardly expect someone from anywhere else to even assume to ask if there's a gun in the house.

Yeah, I remember kind of just picking up without consciously thinking about it that the setting was supposed to be somewhere in the UK (going back through, this was probably from the use of "on holiday" and "going mad", which would be distinctly different in AmEng), and somewhere relatively suburban/rural based on the garden.

(to be honest, the only part that broke my suspension of disbelief while I was reading was the presumably 2013-vintage teenage boy quoting the Ghostbusters theme song to a girl he was trying to impress.)

I don't get the ending. Is the monster now pretending to be Annie? Then why did it look like mcdavey? If it was a the Thing / T-1000 type deal, it wouldn't look like someone it hadn't had contact with yet.

My thought was that it's a kind of pitcher plant, but, you know. For humans.

Reading through /r/creepypasta's thread on it, it seems like the glitching that happens at certain key points* is built into the script

*mcdavey
01.55
it must be someone who looks like me.. honestly annie I'm at home. I wouldn't play around like that.. :)


*mcdavey
02.07
ANNIE PICK UP


Which, you know, maybe were just chosen arbitrarily or for being creepy parts of the story to glitch, but it's creepier still if you read it as a sign of deliberate interference on those messages (so that Annie will keep the conversation going, setting up David as the next victim.)

I feel like it's definitely more in line with creepypasta than traditional "literary" horror short fiction, down to the fascination with modern technology as a pathway that Bad Things understand and can/will exploit to get at you, kind of a modern equivalent of fairy rings. (Ben Drowned is probably the most ambitious story in this vein, though I don't know if I'd call it the best--it kind of outlasted its welcome/interest potential, IMO.) But it does also pull in a lot of the aspects of more "traditional" horror, with the hiding from the Bad Guy and a slower buildup.

So, yeah, it's interesting and I've come back to it a few times, even though I couldn't resist the WHO WAS PHONE joke.
posted by kagredon at 11:46 PM on April 4 [1 favorite]


"And what did Johnny do that was so unbelievable?"

That one weird trick doctors won't tell you.
posted by surplus at 5:05 AM on April 5


« Older Borderland   |   Imagine the Ramones led by... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post