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The Grounds for Violence (slyt)
April 7, 2014 10:42 AM   Subscribe

With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel.

For all those still traumatized by the never-ending winter.
posted by faineant (16 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

Better than I was expecting! This was the related video that YT served me.
posted by jessamyn at 10:49 AM on April 7

Fun Fact: In addition to being one of Winnipeg's two actual journalists, Bartley Kives, the reporter who made the song, is the nephew of the founder of compilation record & assorted crap purveyor K-Tel.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:56 AM on April 7

I made this in my despair this winter.
posted by pjern at 11:10 AM on April 7

What is this 'snow' of which you speak?
posted by twidget at 11:11 AM on April 7

Good word, is winter still not over in the US? I feel so sorry for you all.
posted by Thing at 11:12 AM on April 7 [2 favorites]

We had snow in Vermont on Saturday, not real snow, but snow. There are still 3-4' piles of it around though it's melting fast.
posted by jessamyn at 11:16 AM on April 7

Good word, is winter still not over in the US? I feel so sorry for you all.
The creators are Canadian; they've still got a couple of months to go yet..
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:17 AM on April 7

I live in Minneapolis, and at least this year ain't last year - when we had snowcover until late April, and another snowfall or two in early May.

Those were low times, folks. Low times.
posted by entropone at 11:31 AM on April 7

This was the related video that YT served me.

Winnipeg has narrative depths that astound me. (After I got past the confusion of the meaning of "Forks stabbing victim", that is.) The guy who was attacked is a former University of Manitoba football star who was the subject of a "last run" video. A right tackle -- who in their right minds attacks a right tackle? (If you watch this second video you see that during the attack he was working the tactics in his mind similarly to his thinking on his feet while playing football.) And on top of that he previously stopped a runaway van from hitting kids in a playground.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Canadian winter.
posted by dhartung at 11:49 AM on April 7

This is actually the worst time of year, when most of the snow has melted, but there's still large snowbanks hiding behind the leeward side of fences and other places that aren't in direct sun. And everywhere else... All the awful things the snow hid are exposed like dirty secrets that should've never seen the light of day. It's dead, half decomposed leaves, brown grass, dog poop and bare branches everywhere you look.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:50 AM on April 7 [2 favorites]

My church choir accepts the blame for this. Any Easter we choose to sing, "This Our Joy, This Our Feast" we end up getting snow. And yes, that means we'll be getting some snow a few weeks from now, Ohioans.
posted by charred husk at 11:58 AM on April 7

There's a lesser-known song by Prince called Sometimes It Snows In April.

Of course, Prince is from Minneapolis, so it probably should have been called Usually It Snows In April.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:11 PM on April 7

I just moved (last week!) from Timmins, which is reasonably similar to Winnipeg in terms of cold, maybe a bit less snow, down to Toronto. One of the first things I've noticed, since this past week has been a lot of driving to big box stores/etc, is that mine is the only car with the dangling block heater plug! Weirding me out.

Last year there was a brief snowfall on June 1. Which was bullshit.
posted by Lemurrhea at 2:07 PM on April 7

We live now in California, and my wife and daughter flew back to Minnesota to visit family this week. One of the first things they did when they got there was send me a picture of a little snowman that they built named Olaf. I lived most of my life in that area, where winter is long and fierce, and yet a snowman in April just did not compute.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:55 PM on April 7

And on top of that he previously stopped a runaway van from hitting kids in a playground.

You left out an important detail from that article:

"He dropped his Slurpee and managed to jump into the van and hit the parking brake."
posted by RobotHero at 10:52 PM on April 7

A few days ago I made a run up to Lake Ontario and the St. Lawrence. Silly me, I figured things had to be moving because here, just a couple of hours south, there are hopeful signs. At Oswego there are mountains of snow blocking the view of the lake in places (not an ice shove, surprisingly) and where one can see the lake it is still full of ice, though it is beginning to move about. And the St. Lawrence continues to be frozen in large areas. At this time last year the shipping channels were open.

Two days ago snow fell hard enough to turn the ground white, and we still have piles in the yard. We are so, so very ready for spring. I don't think I've ever felt more sick of winter.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:41 AM on April 8

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