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WhatsApplebee's is the premier social chat app for fans of Applebee's.
May 9, 2014 12:15 PM   Subscribe

WhatsApplebee's: Connect. Share. Communicate. But Only At Applebee's.

WhatsApplebee's is the best chat app for chain-restaurant lovers
posted by davidstandaford (39 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Hey guys some people really close to me love applebees so could you please take it easy about how people who like applebees have shit taste in every regard?
posted by Our Ship Of The Imagination! at 12:17 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


Probably not, no.
posted by stenseng at 12:19 PM on May 9 [30 favorites]


Tumblrweed.
posted by jbickers at 12:21 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


If you read the article, the point is not to make fun of Applebee's or people who like Applebee's. It's to make fun of frivolous apps.
posted by Pararrayos at 12:22 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


I heard people who like applebees have shit taste in every regard.
posted by jjmoney at 12:22 PM on May 9 [11 favorites]


But is it art?
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 12:24 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


So it's like Grindr for everyone at Applebees?
My mind. It boggles.
posted by John Kennedy Toole Box at 12:25 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


I hope this takes off. I had an idea for a meet'n'greet'n'eat app called LongJohnSilvr. This has all kinds of monetization potentialities.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:26 PM on May 9 [7 favorites]


Last time I ate at Applebee's the hose from one of the beer taps leaked all over me.
posted by jonmc at 12:32 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


In 200,000 years, when a handful of remaining humans are trying to piece together what went wrong, this will make their short list.
posted by perhapses at 12:34 PM on May 9 [3 favorites]


Using our iPhone app, you can have anonymous conversations with other Applebee's patrons and brand advocates.

Just to break this down:

. . . you can have anonymous conversations - so there is a market for people looking to have clandestine discussions about Applebees? Or is Applebees just a convenient place for off-the-grid radicals to meet and hash out plans? Or is Applebees getting in on this anti- Security State sentiment that's sweeping the nation? Are there people out there bugging franchise restaurants out there, should I be afraid of the man to my left at the TGI Fridays?

with other Applebee's patrons - is that like, a race now? O a culture? Do I, the Applebees patron, find some particular comfort knowing that the (anonymouns) icon I am speaking with has also given tender to an Applebees? In which case, which Applebees? Are they our kind of people? Do we hate those Olive Garden patrons? Do they even care if they can speak anonymously?

and brand advocates - what the fuck is that?
posted by Think_Long at 12:34 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


This made me think, so I checked, and I'm sort of disappointed that one of you guys isn't Mayor of Flavortown.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:35 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Oh wait, I only just now read the article. Well, just pretend that my questions are hypothetical.
posted by Think_Long at 12:37 PM on May 9


I can think people have shit taste in every regard and still care about them. I have several family members who eat at Applebee's regularly, and I love them very much even though the Venn diagram of things we both like tends to be empty in the middle. Their shit taste is just one of their adorable, lovable quirks.
posted by insoluble uncertainty at 12:38 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Also I would probably play the telegraph operator game.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:41 PM on May 9


Using our iPhone app, you can have anonymous ___________ with other Applebee's patrons and brand advocates.
posted by indubitable at 12:53 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Ah, Applebees only sucks if you're looking for a proper steak. Anyone have their Oriental Chicken Salad? It's really good.
posted by codswallop at 1:18 PM on May 9


I'm still amazed that Waze doesn't have a "hungry" mood.
posted by klangklangston at 1:21 PM on May 9


This thread is making me hungry for Applebees.
posted by straight at 1:31 PM on May 9


Applebee's is ok, but it makes me really miss Howard Johnson's.
posted by jonmc at 1:35 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Why isn't it called Applebz?
posted by tommasz at 1:42 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


Why is it we can have state-of-the-art tools like this for Applebees, but they're still using inefficient human laborers at the Cheesecake Factory?
posted by PlusDistance at 1:46 PM on May 9


brand advocates?

This is a joke, like those Clean Coal spoof commercials, right?







Right?
posted by odinsdream at 1:49 PM on May 9


No, it's real.
posted by davidstandaford at 1:50 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


It came out of wanting to build something that seemed so over the top and so silly that there was no way that it could be real, but at the same time you sort of believe that it would be."

Before I RTFA'ed, I had no trouble believing that this was real (not just a real app, but one created unironically by Applebee's). I interact regularly with marketroids who are that disconnected from human beings / technology / reality in general.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:58 PM on May 9 [2 favorites]


WhatsApplebee's uses iPhone location services to limit access to those currently inside an Applebee's. We enforce this strictly, unlike other chain restaurant-based messaging services such as T.G.I. Friendster or Olive Grindr.

Tee hee. Olive Grindr.
posted by brundlefly at 2:17 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


and brand advocates - what the fuck is that?

They're one level below brand evangelists.
posted by brundlefly at 2:19 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Which are one level below Brandgelinas.
posted by stenseng at 2:23 PM on May 9 [4 favorites]


But they start out as mere Lunch Intenders.
posted by telegraph at 2:48 PM on May 9


hey lady! this creepy solicitation is coming to you from INSIDE THE RESTAURANT!
posted by bruce at 2:56 PM on May 9


Metafilter: In 200,000 years, when a handful of remaining humans are trying to piece together what went wrong, this will make their short list.
posted by Danf at 4:23 PM on May 9


"Hey, did you try the macaroni?"

"Yeah, wanna fuck?"

- sent from my appleberry
posted by oceanjesse at 5:03 PM on May 9 [5 favorites]


and brand advocates - what the fuck is that?

The opposite of Brandanistas.
posted by Pudhoho at 5:41 PM on May 9


Although not in the vein of "instant kinship/connection," there really should be some kind of app for people using free wifi in public, generally. Maybe it could be used to show how secure their connection actually is?
posted by autoclavicle at 5:57 PM on May 9


Somebody tell Chip.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:34 PM on May 9 [1 favorite]


Oh, like ping?
posted by oceanjesse at 6:34 PM on May 9


and brand advocates - what the fuck is that?

Marketing trolls who post brand-positive messages in social forums and talk the brand up in online chats with consumers. Yes, that's a paying job.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:15 AM on May 10


I used to go to Applebee's a lot for their Sante Fe Chicken Salad. God, I loved that salad. But they took it off the menu, so I don't go there anymore.
posted by marsha56 at 12:04 PM on May 10


Anyone have their Oriental Chicken Salad?

... Asian chicken salad?
posted by salix at 9:30 PM on May 12


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