Join 3,512 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Better World Cup slogans?
May 15, 2014 11:48 AM   Subscribe

FIFA: "The votes have been counted and the winners declared! Congratulations to our 32 winners... The winning slogans will be placed on the respective teams' buses at the 2014 FIFA World Cup! Scroll down to read all the winning entries." - CNN: FIFA's bus slogans cause misery and mirth on social media - and The Guardian asks: "Can you think of better World Cup slogans for the 32 teams? "The England team are not 'the heartbeat of millions', real men do not 'wear orange' and since when did 'heroes play like Greeks'? The World Cup slogans need a rewrite. Can your wit help?"
posted by marienbad (50 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
"United By Team, Driven by Passion"

Well that's nice that they put the bus driver's name on the bus. Passion's kind of an unusual name, though.
posted by dismas at 11:49 AM on May 15 [8 favorites]


The USA's is typically dull, but I like a lot of these such as Ghana's.
posted by josher71 at 11:51 AM on May 15


"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ~ vuvuzela
posted by Fizz at 11:52 AM on May 15 [1 favorite]


All the slogans the USA needs are here. Given their Group of Death (top ranked Portugal and Germany plus Ghana who has knocked the US out of the WC several times), "NOT IN THE FACE" seem appropriate.

Still, WAR PIG!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:55 AM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Altidore selected for USA - he is actually worse than Welbeck!
posted by marienbad at 11:56 AM on May 15


Socceroos: hopping our way into history! - unfortunately, given their group, it will probably be team with worst goal difference at the finals.
posted by marienbad at 11:57 AM on May 15


I'm getting a general kick of pairing the slogans with Axis Powers Hetalia characters, but

Cameroon
A lion remains a lion


Damn Lannisters.
posted by sukeban at 12:01 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]


Sometimes I'm really happy Canada is not great at soccer.
posted by Midnight Rambler at 12:02 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Is this some kind of joke? The German winning motto (purpotedly "EIN LAND, EINE MANNSCHAFT, EIN TRAUM") is eerily reminiscent of the Nazi slogan "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer".
posted by tecg at 12:03 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]



Sometimes I'm really happy Canada is not great at soccer.


I have a slogan for us if we ever get to the WC though -

Canada: Look, we're doing a sport other than hockey!
posted by nubs at 12:04 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


I admire Switzerland's ambition, good for them. The USA one sounds very UPS.
posted by rockyrelay at 12:04 PM on May 15 [2 favorites]


USA: "Oh, that kind of football".
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:05 PM on May 15 [18 favorites]


I was in Japan during the last World Cup, and there were ads playing frequently that used the slogan "Because it's World Cup!" I think that's the best choice, and it's flexible enough to work for any country.
posted by aaronetc at 12:06 PM on May 15 [5 favorites]


"Enjoy it, Reds!" - surely, they've been trolled.

The german slogan, too - yikes. One step away from "Ein reich, ein volk, ein... " - yup, trolled hard.

(Also, the untranslated Arabic slogans are on the right side of the box, the screen name of the submitter is over the translation, in case you were wondering how the Algerians got all of that out of "hassanhassan")
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:06 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]


Cameroon
A lion remains a lion

Damn Lannisters.


King's Landing is in Croatia, but it's Bosnia (and Herzegovina) that calls out the dragons.
posted by norm at 12:06 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


"United by team"? WTF?

"There is literally nothing binding us together beyond the mere fact that we've been selected for the same team."
posted by yoink at 12:11 PM on May 15 [4 favorites]


Klismann's choice of Edu and Altidore puzzle me greatly.
posted by josher71 at 12:22 PM on May 15


> Canada: Look, we're doing a sport other than hockey!

Canadian football?
posted by ardgedee at 12:22 PM on May 15


France doesn't have a slogan, it has an annoyed comment about Belgium's slogan.
posted by theodolite at 12:23 PM on May 15 [14 favorites]


So Game of Throne houses to World Cup conversions? Argentina is Martell with Messi just waiting to be felled by a man mountain.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:24 PM on May 15


The Mexican slogan is probably the best of a bad lot:
SIEMPRE UNIDOS… ¡SIEMPRE AZTECAS!
posted by Chrischris at 12:24 PM on May 15


> France: Impossible is not a French word

c'est impossible!
posted by ardgedee at 12:25 PM on May 15 [2 favorites]


England:

THE DREAM OF ONE TEAM, THE HEARTBEAT OF MILLIONS. EXCEPT BULGARIANS.


U.S.A.:

UNITED BY TEAM, DRIVEN BY PASSION, WATCHED BY A BUNCH OF DRUNK EXPATS IN A BAR AT NOON


Belgium:

HE'S AS MUCH BELGIAN AS HE IS ANYTHING ELSE


Netherlands:

EVEN WE THINK ARJEN ROBBEN IS A TOOL


France:

NOUS SOMMES EN GRÈVE


Russia:

NO ONE CAN CATCH US. WE WERE NEVER THERE. NO, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS TROUBLE MAKING
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:25 PM on May 15 [14 favorites]


Oh man, I didn't see Belgium's slogan until snarking on France's. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Seriously, these slogans were probably generated from templates. Can you tell which one is Mexico's and which one is Japan's?

Always united, always [warriors]
[warriors], the time has come to fight!
posted by ardgedee at 12:28 PM on May 15


Best one from the Guardian thread:


Uruguay:

PROBABLY NOT THAT RACIST IN THE CORRECT CONTEXT
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:29 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Australia:

SHOOT STRAIGHT, YOU BASTARDS
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:31 PM on May 15 [3 favorites]


The slogans are all typical inept corporate blandness written by some middle-management suit, and voted on by minions hoping to curry favor with their bosses. Who the hell's idea was this "contest", anyway?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:33 PM on May 15


Hyundai's. (possibly, it is their name on the FIFA webpage)
posted by marienbad at 12:36 PM on May 15


I like Google Translate's version of Ecuador's motto better:

GT: A COMMITMENT, PASSION, ONE HEART, IT IS ON ECUADOR!
Official: ONE COMMITMENT, ONE PASSION, ONLY ONE HEART, THIS IS FOR YOU ECUADOR!
posted by norm at 12:36 PM on May 15


USA:

OUR TEAM JERSEYS LOOK LIKE FRANCE! WE DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CHANCE!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:47 PM on May 15 [3 favorites]


The US bus should just have loudspeakers blasting Real American at all times.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 12:48 PM on May 15 [2 favorites]


Why the United States can't just have white shirts, red shorts, and blue socks, is beyond me. The latest kits have been absolute nightmares.
posted by josher71 at 12:51 PM on May 15


I am all in favor of giving terrible slogans to Europe and great ones to Africa (reason here), however the ones given to the other countries are just ridiculous.

Brazil:
Brace yourselves! The UPPs are coming!

South Korea:
Suck it, Pyongyang! (or am I misreading that slogan because of lack of cultural context?)

Switzerland:
Fuck it, it's 3 in the morning. Make something up.
posted by Hactar at 1:20 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Switzerland, the neutral's choice.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:28 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]



> Canada: Look, we're doing a sport other than hockey!

Canadian football?


Legally, the other official sport of Canada is lacrosse.
posted by Harpocrates at 1:30 PM on May 15



Legally, the other official sport of Canada is lacrosse.


Canada: Hey, why doesn't anyone else have sticks? Why is this ball so huge?
posted by Shepherd at 1:37 PM on May 15 [3 favorites]


@Hactar:
"South Korea: Suck it, Pyongyang! (or am I misreading that slogan because of lack of cultural context?)"

A little. The SK national team started being referred to as "The Reds" at least since around 2002, where they started coming out with all these shirts saying, "Be the Reds!" It's also the color of their uniforms, and the nickname, "Red Devils".

That said, I guess that's what the slogan is? "즐겨라, 대한민국!" is how it's written in Korean, but that's more literally, "Enjoy, Republic of Korea!"
posted by qcubed at 1:48 PM on May 15


Canada: HURRY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!
posted by Kabanos at 1:56 PM on May 15 [3 favorites]


Ghana:

BLACK STARS HERE TO ILLUMINATE THE WORLD NOT UPON US, OH KING! NOT UPON US!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:58 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Although given the declining trend of Canada's FIFA ranking, for now we'll just stick to: "Double-double, toil and trouble."
posted by Kabanos at 1:59 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


This is by far the best slogan as viewed recently on a Rio de Janeiro commuter train.
posted by adamvasco at 2:20 PM on May 15 [5 favorites]


The slogans are all typical inept corporate blandness

SAMURAI, THE TIME HAS COME TO FIGHT !

I guess I should move to Japan.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 2:27 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Sepp Blatter reviews slogans. Minions tremble in the wings.

"These are shit."

puffs cigar

"Perfect."

extinguishes cigar on tongue of junior lackey who signifies his pleasure with a meager thumbs up
posted by Tevin at 2:39 PM on May 15 [5 favorites]


England: three lions on our chest, three games and home
posted by biffa at 2:42 PM on May 15 [5 favorites]


I like the arrogance of Brazil's slogan.

Australia's is the cutest and most quaint. It's endearing.

I can't decide if England's or USA's is worse. I think it's a tie.
posted by kendrak at 3:00 PM on May 15


USA: yellow card, red card, green card!
posted by bruce at 3:10 PM on May 15


Yeah here's a better slogan for Brazil: 250 thousand evicted but it's OK, they're poor
posted by Tom-B at 3:12 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


Alternate USA: We all have guns, so don't start none.

Alternate Russian: My there's a lot of Russian speakers living here, aren't there?
posted by happyroach at 3:12 PM on May 15 [1 favorite]


USA: "We call it soccer, and we're going to do better than most of you"

England: "We'll briefly delude ourselves into thinking we can win the tournament if we advance out of our group"

Australia: "Who else is in our group? ... Bugger."
posted by Grimgrin at 4:31 PM on May 15


Russia: beat us and you don't go into space.
posted by Wordshore at 4:33 PM on May 15


« Older In a story first broken by the AP (heads up: link ...  |  In the mid-1940s, surrealist a... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments