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be disappointed if you expect sexy times though
June 3, 2014 4:30 AM   Subscribe

Most research on casual sex is done with college students. As a consequence, we know very little about hookup experiences of non-college students: those who never went to college, those who just finished college, and those who can barely remember their college years. At The Casual Sex Project, everyone is welcome, regardless of age, gender, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, religious affiliation… The more stories – and the more diverse stories – the better!
The Casual Sex Project was set up by doctor/sex researcher Zhana Vrangalova to, well, share stories about casual sex in a non-prurient, non-judgmental matter. It's of course NSFW.
posted by MartinWisse (28 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'll be in my bunk.
posted by clvrmnky at 4:54 AM on June 3


Dear Casual Sex Project, I've been an avid reader since a link was posted to MetaFilter, but I never thought it could happen to me. Boy, was I wrong. It really can happen to anyone! Spoiler: Chlamydia!
posted by Doktor Zed at 5:01 AM on June 3 [19 favorites]


Penthouse Forum, wrapped up in the guise of research....
posted by HuronBob at 5:07 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


What were your REASONS for having this hookup?
I am human.
I wanted to.
My roommate was out of town.
posted by daveliepmann at 5:32 AM on June 3


Penthouse Forum, wrapped up in the guise of research....

I mean, sure, but that doesn't mean it's worthless. I have this, um, friend, let's call her Ms. Flying Reptile, who is very happily married to a wonderful man but still occasionally purchases Letters to Penthouse books. One of the things she finds valuable about them is that there's just all kinds of stuff in them that make her feel like her interests and body and sex drive are normal and okay, and that other, regular people do that stuff or want to do that stuff too. There was one written by a woman who was like "the week before [anticipated sex encounter] I had a short, unexpected period so I didn't have sex with anyone" and weird as this may sound it was very validating to hear another woman talking about how, yeah, sometimes she just gets her period unexpectedly and WTF bodies are weird but it's okay and you're not screwed up. There's also a decent variety of ages and personal grooming choices and stuff represented. Yes, my, uh, friend acknowledges that many of these letters might be fake but they also talk, at least ostensibly, about the regular sex lives of regular people and help people feel okay about wanting what they want.

I think that, for similar reasons, even if this project is kind of titillating in practice, there is value in presenting the actual experiences of actual people so that we can be reassured that the things we want and the ways we feel are normal and okay.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:33 AM on June 3 [7 favorites]


came all over my back, hotly, with his huge load

I was thinking the Penthouse Forum jokes were just easy lulz, but the very first one hit it out of the park.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:33 AM on June 3 [3 favorites]


I think the idea this is some kind of "research" rather than erotica is somewhat undermined by every post having a (frequently sexual) photograph attached
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory at 5:38 AM on June 3 [1 favorite]


I'm probably a little biased as I'm friends with Zhana, but I think the Penthouse Letters jokes are a little facile. Yes, there's some that read like that (especially the first), but even those go beyond just the who and what to the why and also possible ramifications and regrets.

From the second: "I gave him a BJ in the morning, but the night before was just missionary and doggy style. It wasn’t very pleasurable, but his company was nice. He was a really nice guy, if not a little drunk. He tried to apologize for not being able to stay hard, but I think it was a combo of the alcohol and him being nervous... I hope he’s not getting that drunk anymore, because dear lord the sex was sub-par."

And the fourth: "Once we got back to his house, I don’t really remember much about the sex (I was very drunk). I did not have an orgasm, and I woke up in his bed feeling embarrassed because I didn’t really know how I had acted or performed the night before... When he woke up, we had sex again; it wasn’t great sex but I think that was my fault because I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with him so I was holding back."

Not sure most will find those very titillating.

I do agree that the pix detract from the site.
posted by chris24 at 5:46 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


I just found out there was a British politician of the early 20th century named Seymour Cocks. So, y'know, in case anyone needs a plausible alias.
posted by XMLicious at 5:49 AM on June 3


Mrs. Pterodactyl, I didn't mean to infer that reading erotica doesn't serve a purpose, obviously it does.

However, the inference in the post (and, on the website) that this goes beyond that, struck me as a bit misleading. This is a project that could just as easily be done by a marketing major with a creative streak and a healthy libido. This isn't research, didn't require a PhD or university credentials, nor does the term non-prurient seem like an accurate description (scroll right on down to that "spanking" gif).
posted by HuronBob at 6:36 AM on June 3


Let's be honest, if you're disqualifying something as science based on "data collection could be done by a trained monkey" and "presentation is accompanied by silly pictures", you're going to be throwing out a pretty substantial fraction of scientific research.
posted by Zalzidrax at 7:15 AM on June 3 [5 favorites]


Most research on [any psycho/social subject] is done on college students.
posted by runcibleshaw at 7:18 AM on June 3


My favorite writing of this subject is Tricks, Renaud Camus' 1970s account of casual sex. There's some sexy writing but really its an excuse to read a precise and sympathetic treatment of random men he happened to meet and fuck. It's quite personal and charming and also a little dated.
posted by Nelson at 7:32 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


This is very likely my own hangup, but this project reinforces my belief that it is very difficult to talk about one's own sexual experiences without it coming off as bragging. Reading one anecdote after another after another started to feel like being stuck in a room with a bunch of insufferable people trying to one up each other with stories of how sexually desirable they are.
posted by The Gooch at 8:14 AM on June 3 [1 favorite]


Is it still casual sex if I wear a top hat and spats?
posted by dr_dank at 8:25 AM on June 3 [5 favorites]


Yes, as long as you're not wearing a cummerbund.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:43 AM on June 3 [6 favorites]


This is very likely my own hangup, but this project reinforces my belief that it is very difficult to talk about one's own sexual experiences without it coming off as bragging.

Personally, I think self-deception of this kind is a feature, not a bug. It makes one more likely to flirt with an attractive stranger if we overestimate our attractiveness. Its the power of self-deception. Moves the species along. Of course its dark side is the price we pay.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:57 AM on June 3


Business-casual sex: "I knelt to slip off his loafers, and buttoned his pleated khakis ..."
posted by zippy at 9:01 AM on June 3 [6 favorites]


zippy: "Business-casual sex: "I knelt to slip off his loafers, and buttoned his pleated khakis ...""

It's business... it's business tiiiime!
posted by symbioid at 9:34 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


I recall in what now seems a century ago that,when teaching writing at a university, I noted that Penthoujse letters seemed faked, written by "professions." Yep. A girl shot up her hand and told the class that was what her father did for a living. As I recall, she said they would "rotate," so that onemonth, the writer wrote about blow jobs;then, later on, about anal sex, etc.
posted by Postroad at 9:49 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


Also - if anyone wants to... uh... have casual sex, I'm open for donations! LOL.

*sigh*

And speaking of Penthouse type letters. Have they stopped the whole creepy incest thing? I remember reading such things when I was 10 at my friend's house when we got his dad's hardcore porno mags, and it was like, a good half of it seemed like it was incesty. But maybe it just seemed like a huge volume of them. Sheesh.
posted by symbioid at 9:58 AM on June 3


Once again everyone else is having more sex than me.

Also:

I think it was a combo of the alcohol and him being nervous... I hope he’s not getting that drunk anymore, because dear lord the sex was sub-par

I do hope she realises soon that this guy was not an outlier.
posted by colie at 10:10 AM on June 3


[BLATANT SELF LINK]
I interviewed Dr. Zhana on Sex For Smart People! She's awesome.
[/BLATANT SELF LINK]
posted by davidjmcgee at 10:16 AM on June 3


as long as you're not wearing a cummerbund.

Having said that, it just now occurred to me that a cummerbund could also be used as a blindfold; so YMMV...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:05 AM on June 3


A... a CUMMERbund?
posted by symbioid at 11:31 AM on June 3


WTF, it's not "Cumberbund"? It's literally cummerbund? I have been lied to my entire life. :\
posted by symbioid at 11:32 AM on June 3 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: A bunch of insufferable people trying to one up each other with stories of how sexually desirable they are.
posted by Rangeboy at 1:12 PM on June 3 [2 favorites]


This isn't exactly "Science." And even gives a bad name to the social sciences.

Participant bias, supposedly taboo suject, anonimity. This is the perfect example of "anecdata."

Personally, I'd rather something with a higher confidence rating, like having walk-in-clinic clinicians enrolling volunteers from their daily intake and doing (after training or as training with someone certified as a teacher) personal interviews to generate the data. This way, privacy can still be retained but improve reliability and also collect demographic data anonymously.
posted by porpoise at 9:40 PM on June 3 [1 favorite]


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