Are you a fascist?
June 20, 2014 10:26 AM   Subscribe

Are you a fascist? Take this quiz to find out.
posted by Daddy-O (159 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
Umberto Eco: 14 Ways Of Looking At A Blackshirt.

notable spotting guide for the new 1930s here.
posted by The Whelk at 10:28 AM on June 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


Hag.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:29 AM on June 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


Just a whining rotter.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:31 AM on June 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


Score: 2.222222 Liberal Airhead.
posted by The Whelk at 10:32 AM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Liberal airhead!
posted by elizardbits at 10:32 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


That is a bizarre coincidence. I was doing some research yesterday on political spectra and stumbled onto a mention of this very quiz. So I Googled it and took it. Turns out I'm a "whining rotter".

And here it shows up! You guys: I think IT'S FOLLOWING ME.
posted by grubi at 10:33 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


[29] The wild sex life of the old Greeks and Romans was tame compared to some of the goings-on in this country, even in places where people might least expect it.

Heh. No.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:33 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Apparently 3 - 4.5 is "an appropriate score for an American." I scored 1.13. Whoops!
posted by supermassive at 10:34 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: Liberal Airhead!
posted by JanetLand at 10:35 AM on June 20, 2014 [13 favorites]


[this is good]
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2014


2.966666666666667 Almost normal.
posted by Gev at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2014


2.566666666666667 for me. I'm a liberal airhead! Pretty sure most of Metafilter is going to be in the whining rotter-liberal airheard range.
posted by yasaman at 10:36 AM on June 20, 2014


It's okay like half of us are covert HYDRA agents anyway, deliberately posting low scores.
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 AM on June 20, 2014 [35 favorites]


Liberal airhead, bitches!

Thanks for posting this. That test gave me a great laugh.
posted by fuse theorem at 10:38 AM on June 20, 2014


Didn't Mussolini say Fascism was "rule by corporations"?

Yes, but he did not mean BUSINESS corporations, and he meant rule by means of corporations.

One means to achieving the fascist goal of transcendent unity was corporatism. In Italian Fascism, this involved a vertical reorganization of society into syndicates or "corporations" that grouped people by their field of endeavor, rejecting horizontal distinctions of management and labor.


I want to beat every internet commenter over the head with this.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 10:38 AM on June 20, 2014 [15 favorites]


Liberal airhead!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:39 AM on June 20, 2014


I'm a liberal airhead and proud of it!
posted by pjern at 10:39 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Whining rotter all the way!

[29] The wild sex life of the old Greeks and Romans was tame compared to some of the goings-on in this country, even in places where people might least expect it.

Heh. No.


MOTAT, I had to laugh out loud at that one! I think everyone looks tame next to those ancient Greeks and Romans.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:40 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


It drives me crazy that The Authoritarian Personality hasn't been republished. All the aesthetic-philosophical stuff from Adorno that's in print and being bought, and they can't find a way to keep that in print at a reasonable price?
posted by RogerB at 10:40 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


3.2333333333333334. "You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American."
posted by corb at 10:42 AM on June 20, 2014


Now and then I entertain the idea of a sort of libertarian liberal fascism (yes, yes, I know). In the sense of collective group identity, acknowledging various groups as having a particular identity and allowing them to have a say in a democratic corporatist state. The ideal of the State in this sense is more the organic collective whole, not as a separatist tribal identity. It could easily be a global humanistic fascism in the sense that it is no racially based.

But it would not be as completely fascistic as the ideal Fascist state would be... Mostly the corporate concept intrigues me now and then.
posted by symbioid at 10:43 AM on June 20, 2014


In honor of the recently deceased Rik Mayall, this picture should pop up if you score too far to the right side of the spectrum.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:44 AM on June 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


that quiz is fascist
posted by philip-random at 10:45 AM on June 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


1.66666666666. A whining rotter.

My Fox News-viewing uncles could have told me that already.
posted by ambrosia at 10:45 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]




Well, that was easy.
posted by carping demon at 10:47 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


1.433333333 -- among the rottenest of the whining rotters.
posted by kewb at 10:47 AM on June 20, 2014


2.7 makes me a liberal air head!!!
posted by Our Ship Of The Imagination! at 10:50 AM on June 20, 2014


Metafilter: Well, that was easy.
posted by supermassive at 10:50 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Note: this questionnaire uses JavaScript and requires Netscape Navigator version 2.0 or higher, Microsoft Internet Explorer version 3.0 or higher, or other browser capable of handling JavaScript.

Fascists!!!
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:51 AM on June 20, 2014 [16 favorites]


2.8666666666666667 liberal airhead! I probably would have scored lower if I hadn't deliberately misunderstood some of the questions.

Most of our social problems would be solved if we could somehow get rid of the immoral, crooked, and feebleminded people. Like the Tea Party? Agree!

The true American way of life is disappearing so fast that force may be necessary to preserve it. Like democracy, equality, justice under the law, and freedom of expression? Agree!
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:53 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


3.033333

liberal airhead on the cusp of normality, which is almost verbatim how my father introduces me to his friends.
posted by echocollate at 10:54 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


It really ought to be "What type of fascist are you?"

Then people can poison Facebook with comments about getting Musolinni.
posted by clvrmnky at 10:54 AM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


True American.
posted by Segundus at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2014


But the guy in the comments section of the newspaper says just voting for BaraKKK Obunghole is enough to make you a fascist.

Also a Communist, Maoist, Tsarist, Stalinist, Islamist, Mulitculturalist...
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:55 AM on June 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


2.3666666666666667 Liberal Airhead.

I don't even know what that means.
posted by Michele in California at 10:56 AM on June 20, 2014


2.03, Liberal Airhead. Proud Liberal Airhead.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2014


3.2666666666666666, Disciplined but tolerant. I can live with that. Y'all go do what you want, I'll be over here acting "normal"!
posted by Standeck at 10:57 AM on June 20, 2014


3.066666666666667

But c'mon, most of our social problems would be solved if we could somehow get rid of the immoral, crooked, and feebleminded people. There just wouldn't be anyone left.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:58 AM on June 20, 2014 [6 favorites]


I am a liberal. So, by definition, NOT an airhead. (2.13333)
posted by Benny Andajetz at 10:58 AM on June 20, 2014


2.6 - Liberal airhead - which, incidentally, is what most of my colleagues based in Utah think of me. So there's that.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 10:59 AM on June 20, 2014


Then people can poison Facebook with comments about getting Musolinni.

David Bowie. Fa-fa-fa-fa, Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, Fa-fa-fa-fa-Fascist!
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:00 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


[29] The wild sex life of the old Greeks and Romans was tame compared to some of the goings-on in this country, even in places where people might least expect it.

Heh. No.


Really? I was like, "Well, yeah, obviously, I mean... the Internet has to be good for something. If it's bringing together people with unusual fetishes, that is great for them even if it's not for me." So I think the thing is that I may agree with Fascists on a few factual statements--I'm a Liberal Airhead!--but for precisely the opposite reasons from those they would cite.

I mean, I just watched the Old Swingers Home episode of Bob's Burgers and I have no doubt that's happening somewhere.

posted by psoas at 11:00 AM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


It really ought to be "What type of fascist are you?"

Then people can poison Facebook with comments about getting Musolinni.


I'd want to see what I'd have to do to get Gabriele D'Annunzio

posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


2.3, another liberal air head.
posted by bswinburn at 11:02 AM on June 20, 2014


"You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American." So that's a fascist in Metafilter terms, right? I mean "true American" is just begging for a fight/detailed intersectional analysis. I joke. Also, I'm British.


It's very easy in retrospect to say "Ha! Who'd be a fascist? They were scum!"

But at the time: massive unemployment, social unrest, starvation, failure of capitalism to improve the lot of the common man, growing social inequality, decisions made by an unaccountable elite...

But look, strong leaders with plausible explanations - belief in a conspiracy of well-connected international finance and businesses, for example, should ring some bells here - and, above all, solutions! Subsidy for industry to support manufacturing, getting the country making things again! Investment in infrastructure, like motorways! A fair day's work for a fair day's pay! Protection against cheap foreign labour and imports! Community action to build social cohesion!

We should beware of being smug in hindsight. One of the questions was about believing that a great flood might come and sweep everything away, which seems hilarious, but then, how are we modern, clever people handling climate change? Disastrously badly. How's that going to look in a century?

Can I be clear: I'm not a fascist, and think that fascism is a Bad Thing, full stop.
posted by alasdair at 11:03 AM on June 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


[3] If people would talk less and work more, everybody would be better off.

AGREE STRONGLY.
posted by headnsouth at 11:04 AM on June 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


I'm curious about getting Evola or Marinetti, personally.
posted by symbioid at 11:04 AM on June 20, 2014


"Do you think taking over islands and proclaiming your own new fascist nation is a great idea?"
posted by symbioid at 11:05 AM on June 20, 2014


(To be fair, I think I'd go in order of:
D'annunzio, Marinetti, Mussolini, Evola)
posted by symbioid at 11:06 AM on June 20, 2014


Rotting whiner.
posted by ogooglebar at 11:07 AM on June 20, 2014




I tried to test my fascism but I didn't have current enough browsers.
posted by jeather at 11:09 AM on June 20, 2014


How long do you freeze the cake?
Until it is FROZEN.
OH ARE YOU A ROTTING WHINER LIBERAL???
posted by selfmedicating at 11:09 AM on June 20, 2014 [21 favorites]


But c'mon, most of our social problems would be solved if we could somehow get rid of the immoral, crooked, and feebleminded people. There just wouldn't be anyone left.

In the sense that one might consider setting the board on fire "solving" a chess problem, I guess I could see this take on it...
posted by saulgoodman at 11:09 AM on June 20, 2014


Didn't Mussolini say Fascism was "rule by corporations"?

Yes, but he did not mean BUSINESS corporations, and he meant rule by means of corporations.

One means to achieving the fascist goal of transcendent unity was corporatism. In Italian Fascism, this involved a vertical reorganization of society into syndicates or "corporations" that grouped people by their field of endeavor, rejecting horizontal distinctions of management and labor.

I want to beat every internet commenter over the head with this.


Corporatist government is government by bodies corporate--meaning each group has a person "representing" their interests at the table with the dictator, who resolves disputes.

It is not government by joint-stock companies, who were expected to go along with the dictatorship.

Needless to say, it didn't work out well.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:10 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Liberal Airheads unite!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:10 AM on June 20, 2014


2.0000... something

(Proud liberal airhead here, too.)
posted by saulgoodman at 11:10 AM on June 20, 2014


Whining rotter ftw!

I strongly agreed with [25] Most people don't realize how much our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places, but I do not think I think it meant what they think I'd think it meant.
posted by billiebee at 11:12 AM on June 20, 2014 [11 favorites]


Rotting whiner 4 life
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:13 AM on June 20, 2014


3.1333333333333333
posted by oceanjesse at 11:14 AM on June 20, 2014


Liberal airhead

But I think each question should be weighted differently. Some of these questions I gave "liberal" answers to weren't very indicative of liberalness. And some I answered in a more fascist vein were things that could be seen as very fascistic.
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:15 AM on June 20, 2014


Mostly I Mostly Disagree.
posted by notyou at 11:15 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I got pretty much the same score as corb!

I feel like some of these questions have judgement calls i'm not necessarily making. Like the "MODERN SEXUAL PRACTICES WOULD MAKE THE ORGIES OF THE ROMANS LOOK TAME"

like yeah, i think so, but also that fucking rules

go sexy moderns
posted by Greg Nog at 11:15 AM on June 20, 2014 [10 favorites]


2.5 got that airhead feelin'.

Shit I might be wrong about the astrology though.
posted by aesop at 11:16 AM on June 20, 2014


There were a few I agreed with for what I think are the wrong reasons -- plots hatched in secret places, it is possible for there to be a natural disaster that destroys the world, you should be careful about disease when you travel (definitely didn't agree for the xenophobia reason), the sex life of the gods.

But I am STILL a liberal airhead.
posted by jeather at 11:16 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


2.8666
posted by Jahaza at 11:16 AM on June 20, 2014


1.6, yet another whining rotter.
More of The Whelk's best hair can be seen in ANTIFA - Chasseurs de Skins. At the time, I had little idea all of that was going on around me when I was in Paris for a middle school field trip. That trip may have sowed the seeds for my future rotterhood, though.
posted by gargoyle93 at 11:17 AM on June 20, 2014


I actually found that quiz very difficult to answer. Take for instance this question:

Most people don't realize how much our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places.


Ok, the loaded terminology "controlled by plots hatched in secret places" is hard for me to parse. I would agree that a lot of control is exerted by small groups who make decisions in private (say, behind doors in congress), but I don't think that is what is going for. If it is talking about the trilateral commission or masons or somesuch, my answer would be that I strongly disagree. But then, it's not really asking me that. It's asking whether "most" people "realize" that. If I think the second part is false, can anyone "realize" the mis-statement? Can anyone "realize there are unicorns"? I can see writing the question "believe" but "realize" is hard. And then you get the "most" part. How do I answer if I think "some people believe much of our lives..."? Am I disagreeing with quantification of "most" or am I disagreeing with something else.

A lot of the questions caused me this problem. There seemed to be a kind of central point to the question for which I had a feeling. But then it couched in all of these terms like "always" and "most" and all of these terms where it seems like I am being asked to respond to degrees of something as opposed to the thing itself.

So, I actually had a hard time knowing how to answer the questions.
posted by dios at 11:17 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


"Are you a fascist" is, of course, a trick question. The appropriate answer being "How dare you ask me that? Faceless minions, arrest that man in the name of our glorious leader!"
posted by yoink at 11:19 AM on June 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


2.466666666666667

Liberal Airhead.

You know...a couple of those statements probably sounded crazy paranoid back when they were written. Today, though...
posted by Thorzdad at 11:20 AM on June 20, 2014


Well, there you have it. For more information, consult T. W. Adorno et al., The Authoritarian Personality (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1950). It should be noted here that that the authors concluded that it had "still to be demonstrated" if the F-scale actually did, in fact, measure fascist receptivity at a personality level. They were sure it measured something --- but not exactly sure what. T. W. Adorno returned to the University of Frankfurt, where he amused himself as a principal figure in the Frankfurt school of "critical theory", producing a Freudian-Marxist melange of pseudo-scientific speculative foolishness that is now, thank God, thoroughly discredited.

I think that means Chuck Anesi's F Score is in the 4-6 range?
posted by notyou at 11:20 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Mostly I Disagree.
posted by mazola at 11:22 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


1.7, Whining Rotter.

Might have been even lower, but I was born with an urge to jump from high places.
posted by kyrademon at 11:27 AM on June 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


Metafilter: Mostly I Disagree, but I don't really understand the question.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:27 AM on June 20, 2014


I'm glad this confirmed that I'm a liberal airhead.
posted by foodgeek at 11:27 AM on June 20, 2014


[31] You wonder if your answers to this quiz are being recorded to be used against you at some later date.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:28 AM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


2.9, and this marks the very first day that any person or computer ever tagged me as a "Liberal".

I think I'll have a drink.
posted by DWRoelands at 11:29 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Man that was easier than that Dianetics test those Scientologists on Tottenham Court Road gave me. Listen guys, to get fascist, you mainly click number 6, with one or 2 curveball exceptions. If anyone wants a hand with this I am willing to share my answers.

5.333333333333333 lol. ("You should practice doing things with your left hand." made me laugh)
posted by marienbad at 11:29 AM on June 20, 2014


Whining rotter!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:30 AM on June 20, 2014


The fascists are noticeably reticent in this post. They're just quietly watching and discerning and plotting the day when they will rule us with an iron fist and crush us under their boot heels or something like that.
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:36 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Things I agreed with, but not for the reasons the quiz is probably getting at:

If people would talk less and work more, everybody would be better off.

I don't like it when people talk in the hallway outside my office.

Most of our social problems would be solved if we could somehow get rid of the immoral, crooked, and feebleminded people.

Yes! Like bankers! And Fox News!

Nowadays more and more people are prying into matters that should remain personal and private.

Hmm, increasing government and corporate surveillance makes this one a no-brainer.

Most people don't realize how much our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places.

See above.

The true American way of life is disappearing so fast that force may be necessary to preserve it.

Yep, I'm thinking the bankers won't go down without a fight.

Even my fascism is liberal.
posted by medusa at 11:41 AM on June 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


1.9

Questionnaires like this really kind of bother me, though. The gradient is all screwy. Surely if you "Mostly Disagree," then you also "Agree Somewhat."
posted by Sys Rq at 11:41 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


How long do you freeze the cake?
Until it is FROZEN.
OH ARE YOU A ROTTING WHINER LIBERAL???


Ice cream fascists suck shit.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 11:43 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


This is somewhat refreshing. Everyday I come to Metafilter and feel like an absolute nazi-ass fascist. I find it hard to read the site comments sometimes and avoid anything to do with humor particularly, since that is my job. It's good to know that in a somewhat grander scheme of things, I am a 2.6 liberal airhead. Just like all my Kentucky relatives think I am!
posted by umberto at 11:44 AM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


The primary reason I avoided total fascism was because there is no question(s) asking if I want to stuff all the people I dislike even for the most mundane of reasons into a wicker man and set it ablaze.
posted by elizardbits at 11:48 AM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


relevant
posted by elizardbits at 11:57 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


"[19] Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places."

?? I don't get it.
posted by crazylegs at 11:59 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Stonekettle Station: If This Goes On

Wrapped in the flag, and carrying the cross.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:59 AM on June 20, 2014


I, too, am possessed of a rather breezy cranium.
posted by Foosnark at 12:00 PM on June 20, 2014


2.466666666666667 Liberal airhead.
posted by HyperBlue at 12:00 PM on June 20, 2014


Liberal airhead. I didn't write down my number because I am not a number, I am a free woman!
posted by sfkiddo at 12:03 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


One more liberal airhead. Whew!
posted by mermayd at 12:04 PM on June 20, 2014


Did anyone read the note at the bottom of the quiz?

Well, there you have it. For more information, consult T. W. Adorno et al., The Authoritarian Personality (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1950). It should be noted here that that the authors concluded that it had "still to be demonstrated" if the F-scale actually did, in fact, measure fascist receptivity at a personality level. They were sure it measured something --- but not exactly sure what. T. W. Adorno returned to the University of Frankfurt, where he amused himself as a principal figure in the Frankfurt school of "critical theory", producing a Freudian-Marxist melange of pseudo-scientific speculative foolishness that is now, thank God, thoroughly discredited.
posted by Noisy Pink Bubbles at 12:05 PM on June 20, 2014


Wars and social troubles may someday be ended by an earthquake or flood that will destroy the whole world.

Once global warming causes the ice shelves in Greenland and Antarctica to melt won't this happen? Plus there are things like the Yellowstone caldera erupting. It is entirely possible that a natural disaster will kill us all.

People can be divided into two distinct classes: the weak and the strong.

You can divide people into any number of arbitrary classes. The short and the tall. The fat and the skinny. The fast and the slow. It all comes down to how you define them. For weak and strong I would say that if you can bench press 1.5 times your body weight you are strong. If not you are weak.

Most people don't realize how much our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places.

In the US someone born into a family in the lowest income quintile has a 3% chance of making it to the highest. Is there a concrete plot to keep these people down? Maybe not. But the fix is still in for them.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:06 PM on June 20, 2014


Huh. Thought I was MetaFilter's Token Former Moderate Republican, but actually I am yet another liberal airhead.
posted by bearwife at 12:07 PM on June 20, 2014


Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places.

I think this gene must have gotten worked out of society by all those kids that took LSD and thought they could fly in the 60s.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:07 PM on June 20, 2014


"[19] Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places."

?? I don't get it.


I was confused by that too, but below the questions there's a little table explaining what the questions was supposed to be getting at. For this one (at a few others) it's:
Superstition and Stereotypy: The belief in mystical determinants of the individual's fate; the disposition to think in rigid categories.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 12:15 PM on June 20, 2014


"[19] Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places."

?? I don't get it.


I paused on that one as well. I suspect it has something to do with belief in the idea that some people simply have an innate nature? In my future distopian imaginary world I can see justifiably eliminating certain people because of their "in-born natures." Like...agitators need to be eliminated because they simply have the urge to agitate or something like that.
posted by jnnla at 12:20 PM on June 20, 2014


dios: "So, I actually had a hard time knowing how to answer the questions."

See, that right there, is the definition of an airhead. Our glorious race is better off without such weaklings.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 12:22 PM on June 20, 2014


I am a whining rotter. I'll assume that's good.

Count me as another confused by the "jump from high places" question. I answered "Agree Somewhat", by which I meant, "Uh... well... not exactly sure what you're asking. There are a lot of people who seem to really like skydiving, so yeah I guess. But... I don't think that's what you're asking."
posted by Flunkie at 12:24 PM on June 20, 2014


I wasn't all that impressed by the author's "definition" of fascism, and his "solutions" struck me as being ur-fascist themselves (which explains why he's so aggressive in dismissing Eco - Eco's 14 points cover his arguments.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:27 PM on June 20, 2014


I'm on my phone at the laundromat so I can't compute my score but the links were super useful in that they corrected some of my instinctual and layperson conceptions of fascism.

I want to talk about why the answer options were "strongly disagree" and "mostly disagree." The person who designed the quiz made that choice for a reason. What was he getting at? Or was he trying to manipulate the data towards a specific result?

Upon edit: I'm dumb. Should have scrolled right.
posted by dchrssyr at 12:27 PM on June 20, 2014


> But then it couched in all of these terms like "always" and "most"

That's why most of my answers were "agree somewhat" and "disagree somewhat." Either that or I'm just naturally wishy-washy.

> They were sure it measured something --- but not exactly sure what.

It's an IQ test. The closer you score to 3.5, the smarter.

3.433333333333333 = microscopically to the left of and dumber than corb.
posted by jfuller at 12:34 PM on June 20, 2014


Punk Rock, I'm a whining whingin' rotter!
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:37 PM on June 20, 2014


Even my fascism is liberal.

There's an important lesson there in how you can become willing to accept repressive methods to achieve progressive goals. From whence comes Stalinism, which I still insist is still just another flavor of Fascism. (But then, so is Libertarianism's love of corporate entities and their 'strong leaders' ... is ANYTHING not at least semi-Fascist?)

Thought I was MetaFilter's Token Former Moderate Republican, but actually I am yet another liberal airhead.

You have just encountered the Overton Window... and been defenestrated.

BTW, 1.5 Whining Rotter and proud of it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:38 PM on June 20, 2014


Count me as another confused by the "jump from high places" question.

In the south, a standard joke about wild turkeys is that they're so dumb, when it rains, they hold their mouths open and stare at the sky and drown. The joke's point is usually meant to be that turkeys are so innately dumb, there's no reason to feel bad about hunting them. My feel for it was this related to some kind of similar dog-whistle people might have recognized in those days about some ethnic group being too stupid to live. But that's guesswork. That one stopped me too, for a second or so.
posted by saulgoodman at 12:39 PM on June 20, 2014


For almost every question you can see a mile away what your answers should be to make sure no one thinks you're a fascist, and of course no one wants to be thought a fascist, so I'm sure there's a lot of conscious or subconscious adjustment of answers going on. Yes, it says I'm a liberal airhead, but that's probably to the right of the majority of people taking this test here.
posted by pracowity at 12:39 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


2.03, barely out of Whining Rotter territory, but like others here, I think my score was bumped up by anachronism and other oddities. I do believe that people, for the most part, don't realize how much of their lives are affected by plots hatched in secret. I just don't think there's a Zionist conspiracy or anything like that so much as a bunch of three-martini-lunches near K Street.

Similarly, I kind of agree that with enough willpower we can get past almost any obstacle, but in my head that's more of a "if we can get the determination to respect one another, we can do anything," which isn't really what they were going for, I don't think.

Also, the stories of Roman decadence were greatly, greatly embellished or made up out of wholecloth about what was in reality a pretty prudish culture. We are objectively much freakier now. That's a good thing.

Finally, I too was born with a very strong urge to jump from high places.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:42 PM on June 20, 2014


I consider myself one of the most middle of the road and moderately conservative liberals that follows and occasionally comments on MetaFilter ..and I got a 1.999 somerhing . how is that possible? I support Obama, do not particularly worry about multinationals, place a great deal of personal value on self discipline and lead a very modest personal life. It must be the six months a year I live in Ireland
posted by rmhsinc at 12:44 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Whoa. I got a 10 and a gold star for my commitment to Ultra Fascism
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:51 PM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


This whining rotter has a few comments:

If people would talk less and work more, everybody would be better off.
Yes. But then again, you don't know my boss. I cannot *breathe* when trying to have a conversation with him, or he'll start speaking in the time I pause.

No sane, normal, decent person could ever think of hurting a close friend or relative.
Isn't this sort of relative-dependent? I mean, what if your relative is Hitler? (oh, right).

Most of our social problems would be solved if we could somehow get rid of the immoral, crooked, and feebleminded people.
Oh, I agree with this. Best way: provide a strong social safety net, broad access to education, a minimum basic income, nutrition support for children, and treatment+early childhood intervention for those with disabilities. For the immoral, changing the incentive structure in investment banking would sure help!

Nowadays more and more people are prying into matters that should remain personal and private. and their initials are NSA

Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places.
Ah! Finally someone who understands why I have a fear of heights! Sheesh, doesn't everyone get that?

Wars and social troubles may someday be ended by an earthquake or flood that will destroy the whole world.
Sorry, you missed asteroid impact, nearby supernova, eventual solar expansion, alien invasion, and my personal favorite, inevitable heat death of the universe.

Human nature being what it is, there will always be war and conflict.
The only problem with this is the first half of the sentence; you don't need it. There will always be war and conflict, regardless of whether humans are even around anymore. Ever watched a bunch of ants?

Nowadays when so many different kinds of people move around and mix together so much, a person has to protect himself especially carefully against catching an infection or disease from them.
Well, yes, this is true. (But not for the implied xenophobic reason). Epidemiology in an era of easy airplane travel is much more complicated! Also my stupid seatmate sneezed on me last Tuesday.

The wild sex life of the old Greeks and Romans was tame compared to some of the goings-on in this country, even in places where people might least expect it.
Well yes. Especially as detailed in Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation. I did not expect the flatworms, let me say that.

The true American way of life is disappearing so fast that force may be necessary to preserve it. If by true American way of life you mean what it meant in, say, the late 1700s, I think it's too late for force to do much good. I think the real question here should be "do you think the words 'true American way of life' have any meaning whatsoever" to which the answer is obviously "dude".

.......

Phew. I feel much better. Done whining now.
posted by nat at 12:52 PM on June 20, 2014 [8 favorites]


"MODERN SEXUAL PRACTICES WOULD MAKE THE ORGIES OF THE ROMANS LOOK TAME"

the best thing about that is that the Romans were notorious prudes & the whole FILTHY CLASSICALS meme comes at least in part from Christian preaching that milked their prudery for all it was worth
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 12:57 PM on June 20, 2014


No sane, normal, decent person could ever think of hurting a close friend or relative.

Isn't this sort of relative-dependent? I mean, what if your relative is Hitler? (oh, right).
There are a bunch of questions basically asking about your sense of filial piety. I assume because it's a proxy for your tendency to accept the authority of the power structures in your life.
posted by hattifattener at 12:59 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


1.8 a whining rotter I am
posted by RedShrek at 1:03 PM on June 20, 2014


From whence comes Stalinism

No, that is what John Birchers would have you believe lest you slide down the slippery slope of Socialism. It's a scare tactic. Stalin was a power hungry totalitarian and tyrant. He never had the interests of the proletariat in his heart. His efforts were never in creating a people's state. He created a paranoid authoritarian system in order to further his own self interest. That is NOT communist or socialist despite what they try and claim.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:04 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


1.2

Wow. So rotting. Much whine.
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 1:04 PM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


As a whining rotter, I would love for this to become a mere historical curiosity. Let's make the 22nd century the one with new problems, huh?
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 1:04 PM on June 20, 2014


I take the questions not as being a full diagnosis of the structure of fascism itself, but a set of stereotypical indicators (like the field guide for birds "it has that red bit on the wing, must be a wobblythorpe"). Fascism and unquestioning family loyalty are highly correlated. As are fascism and the love of romantic explanations for psychological issues ("born wanting to jump from high places", the astrology one, etc.).
posted by idiopath at 1:05 PM on June 20, 2014


Let's make the 22nd century the one with new problems, huh?

Listen, the robot designers and AI programers are working as fast as they can OK?!?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:13 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


The big thing about fascism and other -isms is that fascism is not simply a generic term for any modern version of totalitarianism. Fascism features certain specific behaviors and beliefs. The linked website does a good job of synthesizing what actual historians have been saying about fascism, to distinguish it from other political phenomena.
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


what actual historians have been saying about fascism

And at least it's an ethos!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:17 PM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Fan Fact: The Flag of Brooklyn is Fascist (as in, features a woman carrying a fasces and the Dutch phrase "Eendraght Maekt Maght" which translates as "Unity makes Strength" or "Strength Through Unity."
posted by Navelgazer at 1:36 PM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


I rather wish that the post had left out the quiz. The article on defining fascism was excellent and could have made for some fascinating dialogue. Instead we have 90% of the responses tittering about their questionnaire results. Oh, and by the way, the back of every U.S. Mercury Dime has the fasces engraved upon it.
posted by TDavis at 1:47 PM on June 20, 2014


Instead we have 90% of the responses tittering about their questionnaire results.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS TA GET WITH THE PROGRAM BEFORE HE MAKES MEFI WEAK
posted by Greg Nog at 1:51 PM on June 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


THIS POST WAS STABBED IN THE BACK BY THE INCLUSION OF THE QUIZ
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:53 PM on June 20, 2014 [7 favorites]


Love it! ALL CAPS RESPONSE!!! must be fascists.
posted by TDavis at 2:10 PM on June 20, 2014


HEY BUDDY

I'M NOT SEEIN ENOUGH CAPS LOCK THERE
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 2:11 PM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]



For almost every question you can see a mile away what your answers should be to make sure no one thinks you're a fascist, and of course no one wants to be thought a fascist, so I'm sure there's a lot of conscious or subconscious adjustment of answers going on. Yes, it says I'm a liberal airhead, but that's probably to the right of the majority of people taking this test here.


But the thing is, Adorno et al were working on this stuff in the forties, when the language used here would have been read quite differently, social norms were different, etc. The reason it's an ineffective test now is precisely because certain kinds of ideas which were once found mostly in anti-authoritarian circles have become mainstream. We all know at the conscious level now that kids are supposed to be all creative and so on and that "obedience" is the virtue that the villain in the kids' cartoons wants to impose - but that doesn't mean that we're not authoritarians. It just means that our authoritarianism uses other words and takes other forms.

If you doubt - you might want to check out the ultra-anti-authoritarian books about the Summerhill school - A. S. Neill, then an ultra-progressive, largely espouses ideas that have become totally normal, and also seems to believe that being gay should not be punished but that it's kind of a sad fate and a sign that something has gone wrong. And yet, though we are "anti-authoritarian" by Neillian standards, is the world fair and all men glad and wise? I don't think so.

Also, I would say that the thirties through fifties were an exceptionally Officially Endorsed Authoritarianism period. After that we move on to Marcuse (that Frankfurt School again!) and repressive tolerance, which makes more money.
posted by Frowner at 2:16 PM on June 20, 2014 [11 favorites]


In fact, you could have a pretty good time trying to imagine what modern fascist-symp questions would be.

I suspect "marginalized people are all whiners who need to shut up and grow a pair" would be one of them. Things like that.
posted by Frowner at 2:24 PM on June 20, 2014 [4 favorites]


Using the Eco essay above as a guide would work - it's mostly core concepts like "contempt for the weak", etc.
posted by The Whelk at 2:26 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


see also: poor people should just stop being poor! why don't they get jobs! etc.
posted by elizardbits at 2:26 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


High five, fellow liberal airheads.
posted by pemberkins at 2:42 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


This quiz is asking the wrong questions.

Should people who chew loudly when you're tired and stressed be punished by shaming, flogging, and being shot to the moon?

AGREE STRONGLY

posted by Turkey Glue at 3:01 PM on June 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am not a liberal airhead. This quiz sucks. I am a tree hugging hippie.
posted by bukvich at 3:02 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


"19] Some people are born with an urge to jump from high places. "

???? ??? ?? ??????
posted by boo_radley at 3:06 PM on June 20, 2014


Rustic Etruscan: "Whoa. I got a 10 and a gold star for my commitment to Ultra Fascism"

This is why you are amongst Il Papa's favorites. Please report to the leaders' demense for assignment.
posted by boo_radley at 3:10 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


2.1 "Liberal Airhead". Kind of disappointed I'm not a "whining rotter," but even changing my answers I can't honestly go below 2.0333....

Some of these questions show their age, though. I somewhat agreed with "Nowadays more and more people are prying into matters that should remain personal and private" because I was thinking of the NSA, friends who expect that everything be posted on Facebook, and people's general casualness to give up privacy for minor conveniences. But apparently the question correlates with "Anti-intraception: Opposition to the subjective, the imaginative, the tender-minded." What does one have to do with the other? Also, "Wars and social troubles may someday be ended by an earthquake or flood that will destroy the whole world" is pretty undeniable as long as you allow for more general unexpected disasters, like a giant asteroid or nuclear war set of by a computer glitch.

On preview, basically what nat said.
posted by Rangi at 3:12 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm a whining rotter and proud of it!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 4:42 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


From the first link:
Thus, when Mussolini referred to a "corporate state", he meant organizing management and labor into syndicates under the thumb of the Duce. This was rule by means of corporations -- an expedient but certainly not a defining characteristic of fascism.

No more need be said of this. Wikipedia has a decent concise article on Corporatism that will clarify proper usage of the term.

This confusion is not new. I remember when I was an undergraduate many years ago a student used the term "corporate state" in class, referring to some vague idea of a state in which business corporations run the show, and the professor, being an Oxford man, thought he was talking about Fascist corporatism. The confusion was soon resolved. But we are likely to see more of this now that the American education system has given up teaching history, philosophy, mathematics and so forth in favor of diversity studies and post-modernist literary criticism.
lol
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:25 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


You can divide people into any number of arbitrary classes.

There are two kinds of people in the world:

1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information sets.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:28 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


So Serially?
Note: this questionnaire uses JavaScript and requires Netscape Navigator version 2.0 or higher, Microsoft Internet Explorer version 3.0 or higher, or other browser capable of handling JavaScript.

And why is there no Like button for Facebook?
Yes, I saw the 1997©
posted by Alles at 5:29 PM on June 20, 2014


I actually found that quiz very difficult to answer. Take for instance this question: Most people don't realize how much our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places.

Anywhere it was ambiguous, I erred on the side of what I took to be more fascist, but otherwise answered honestly. So sure, most people underestimate conspiracies, true enough. I like to think I'm somewhat conservative compared to my peers, although also a bit anti-authoritarian. And yet I'm still a "liberal airhead". Did anyone get a legit score above 3.84, the supposed 1950 American average? The McCarthy era must've been loads of fun.
posted by sfenders at 6:03 PM on June 20, 2014


1.5 Whining Rotter

....but but I have so many black t-shirts!
posted by chance at 6:11 PM on June 20, 2014


Did anyone get a legit score above 3.84, the supposed 1950 American average?

I got 3.999997...

On the other hand, I already thought socialism combined with nationalism but minus military adventurism would make a fine little nation-state for decent bourgeois folk to live in. Integralism rather than Fascism though.

Ultimately I hate authoritarianism because I recognize that for every enlightened despot, you're much more likely to end up with a Pol Pot.
posted by codswallop at 7:26 PM on June 20, 2014



There's an important lesson there in how you can become willing to accept repressive methods to achieve progressive goals.


I don't care what you do as long as you stop the people from talking outside my office.
posted by medusa at 7:50 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


Meh, literally one-dimensional. Though I guess in a two-party system that is in some sense accurate.

But it doesn't seem to accommodate the many weird varieties of extremist that I've run across. It is a mistake to regard either the left or the right as merely a sort of bloc with a consistent ideology. In both cases, you have to use a sort of 'political vector addition', summing up the various multidimensional directions of all the individual players which often largely cancel each other out, in order to determine the net political force being exerted.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:22 PM on June 20, 2014


2.5, liberal airhead.

What do they mean with "the urge to jump from high places"? Like, people are born suicidal?

Also, I misunderstood the "flood or earthquake" question. It's a biblical reference, right? I was thinking more along the lines of an environmental series of catastrophes brought about by humans, or an alien invasion.

Also: breeding?!
posted by Omnomnom at 3:03 AM on June 21, 2014


It's not used much any more (at least not seriously), but here are the last two dictionary definitions:
breed·ing [bree-ding]
noun

4. training; nurture: He is a man of good breeding.

5. the result of upbringing or training as shown in behavior and manners; manners, especially good manners: You can tell when a person has breeding.
But, yeah, I think that to modern ears it sounds fairly disgusting. Heh.
posted by taz at 4:41 AM on June 21, 2014


But it doesn't seem to accommodate the many weird varieties of extremist that I've run across.

Sure, but why would it? There are many different kinds of extremism, but the linked page is only talking about fascism qua fascism. People may colloquially use the term "fascist" in a broader sense, but the page is talking about fascism in the sense of the discrete, historically-situated phenomenon.

Trying to "modernize" the quiz is a bit tricky. One should be careful to not "recenter" the quiz so that the "fascism" being tested for is different from what historians, political scientists, etc. actually mean by the term "fascism". Fascism is not simply any nationalistic tyranny - it is a specific form of it.

I mean, yes, we could create a quiz which tests for the loose, colloquial definition of "fascism", but it wouldn't mean very much. There would be no continuity with the original quiz, or other serious works on fascism. It would be no more meaningful than redefining "socialism" to entail Obamacare - how many legs does a donkey have, if we call a tail a leg?

Incidentally, The Anatomy of Fascism is a really good book. There's a good bit at the end where Paxton illustrates how other political movements may resemble fascism in parts but not as a whole.
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:58 AM on June 21, 2014 [1 favorite]


For a concrete example of why I have a problem with conflating the technical and colloquial definitions of "fascism": according to the Eco piece, the Četniks would qualify as fascists. If you cannot see how the Četniks were fundamentally distinct from real fascists in their midst - the Italian Fascists, the Nazis, and the Ustaše - then you are not paying close enough attention. The fact that the Četniks were typically no better is utterly beside the point. Fascism is not mere badness, but a specific form of a bad thing.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:09 AM on June 21, 2014


2 to 3: A liberal airhead.
3 to 4.5: Within normal limits; an appropriate score for an American.


See, US Mefis? It's un-American to be a liberal airhead.
posted by sour cream at 5:17 AM on June 21, 2014




What do they mean with "the urge to jump from high places"? Like, people are born suicidal?

l'appel du vide
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:54 AM on June 21, 2014 [3 favorites]


Whining rotter here and yeah some really weird questions - jump from high places equals lemmings?
posted by leslies at 8:52 AM on June 22, 2014


jump from high places equals lemmings?

Basically, the fascist here would say that some people are inherently, unavoidably self-destructive like that, which is why we are actually fulfilling a moral duty by removing them from society.

It's easy to notice that fascism often goes hand-in-hand with racism. However, it is also important to tease out the exact kinds of racism which go hand-in-hand with fascism. For the fascist, the intolerance for deviation and dissent, as well as the unremitting fear of impurity, is even more fundamental than the racism qua racism. Fascists want purity and extermination. They're not particularly big on "White Man's Burden"-style paternalism.

Fascist ideologies feature various ways of expressing the idea that the fascist is some sort of Great New Man, who is able to tap into our collective fundamental greatness by reaching through to the past, so as to bring about a grand new golden dawn, blah blah blah.

Contrast this person with the weak, sniveling, impure rabble who threaten our great nation, who threaten to stand in the way of our new and shining order. The fascist can untap his potential for greatness. The others are a bunch of rats, apes, and parasites.

Contrast this ideology with those ideologies which say that others will be redeemed if they can be re-educated properly.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:35 AM on June 22, 2014 [3 favorites]


I'm not a fascist. I'm a baddie.
posted by srboisvert at 1:22 PM on June 22, 2014


When Fasces Aren’t Fascist - "The strange history of America’s federal buildings"
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:45 PM on June 23, 2014


jump from high places equals lemmings?

My interpretation of that question was darker. I assumed it was referring to a tendency to blithely wave off "suicides" of those who are hounded by the system without considering any reason that might have driven them to do it. Or not do it.

It seems like the sort of thing one might say while standing over the body of some young revolutionary on the sidewalk while pointedly ignoring the ligature marks around their neck and wrists.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:43 PM on June 24, 2014


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