Short Term Relationship that expires quick!!!

July 13, 2014 12:50 PM

A friendship that lasts 24 hours unless you opt to extend. An app where you can find interesting people who will disappear in 24 hours unless you'd like to keep the connection going.
posted by Yellow (53 comments total)

Great, another set of people who thought that fight club(or really, anything by Chuck Palahniuk) had anything interesting or insightful to say about life.
posted by emptythought at 12:53 PM on July 13, 2014

Go home Marla.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:56 PM on July 13, 2014 [3 favorites]

This sounds depressingly like online dating.
posted by The Whelk at 12:56 PM on July 13, 2014 [4 favorites]

This sounds depressingly like online dating.
posted by clockzero at 12:58 PM on July 13, 2014 [5 favorites]

This confuses and frightens me.
posted by pemberkins at 1:09 PM on July 13, 2014 [3 favorites]

Why do I need this?
posted by grouse at 1:11 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

So it's Chatroulette, but slower?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:11 PM on July 13, 2014 [7 favorites]

Isn't this what Craig's list is for? Or as they say on my local Craig's list:

"casual encounters >>> w4m m4m m4w w4w t4m m4t t4w w4t t4t
mw4mw mw4w mw4m w4mw m4mw w4ww m4mm mm4m ww4w ww4m mm4w m4ww w4mm t4mw mw4t"
posted by HuronBob at 1:11 PM on July 13, 2014 [8 favorites]

All of my friendships are kinda like this.
posted by mazola at 1:12 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Someone should make a version of this for adults: Play Hookey With Me. Fast "find someone to sneak out of work to see a movie or hit a ball game" functions. Ephemeral.
posted by rr at 1:13 PM on July 13, 2014 [10 favorites]

*clicks*

*presented with image of bro with two thin, lingerie-clad women on either arm*

Yeah this isn't geared at my demographic.
posted by dekathelon at 1:14 PM on July 13, 2014 [11 favorites]

I guess I'll be in the minority and say that I'm kind of intrigued. It seems like it's trying to foster the same sort of random interactions that Tinder is famous for, but not centered around hookups.
posted by roll truck roll at 1:17 PM on July 13, 2014 [3 favorites]

I will waste at least 8 of those hours by sleeping.
posted by srboisvert at 1:19 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I expend a significant portion of my energy trying to avoid superficial interactions with strangers. This ain't geared at my demographic either.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:20 PM on July 13, 2014 [11 favorites]

Are 'friends' electric?
posted by Decani at 1:28 PM on July 13, 2014 [9 favorites]

That narration came from approximately the same cognitive domain as a Carl's Jr ad and I had to stop it after about 20 seconds. But "Let's talk about life. Life is spontaneous bla bla ... and that's what makes it so special." I'm pretty sure what makes life special is the alternative.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:30 PM on July 13, 2014 [6 favorites]

It seems like it's trying to foster the same sort of random interactions that Tinder is famous for, but not centered around hookups.

They never mention sex, but I'm not sure that isn't the subtext.

"With Sobrr, you are free to be your crazy self wherever you are. Enjoy your life in the moment and have fun. Sobrr will make sure there is no evidence of your craziness. You will always be “sober” online."

I don't think this is aimed at people who secretly want to meet people to play D&D but don't want any evidence splashed all over Facebook.

But even if it is, I suspect 90% of users will be cruising for hookups, regardless.
posted by retrograde at 1:39 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's like jelly fucked tinder.
posted by dfriedman at 2:05 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have real trouble maintaining contact with people I truly deeply care about. I'm about the worst person for this app.
posted by litleozy at 2:06 PM on July 13, 2014 [8 favorites]

2. And… why are you called “Sobrr”?
With Sobrr, you are free to be your crazy self wherever you are. Enjoy your life in the moment and have fun. Sobrr will make sure there is no evidence of your craziness. You will always be “sober” online.

I'm really trying to obey Thumper's Rule here...
posted by jammy at 2:09 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

I would love to see it steal that ephemeral spotlight from Snapchat.
posted by zscore at 2:31 PM on July 13, 2014

This reminds me of another app I just read about, called BUMPRR.

BUMPRR connects you instantly to people you're about to bump into from being online while you walk, and lets you decide if that interaction is one you want to continue or just you know, like...
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 2:32 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

...

I am obviously not the target demographic. Which is quite alright by me.

As I age... I find myself becoming more of a hermit... Which, again, is quite alright.

Although, the concept of a 24 hour itinerant connection seems interesting. It's a quick "icebreak" event. I can see it being beneficial for men and women whom are a decade younger than I am.

Good luck... to those with iDevices.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 2:33 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yes, it's definitely targeted to those who want a tryst but with absolutely no evidence.
posted by SisterHavana at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2014

Only available on the Apple app store. I'm not sure what that says about us android users.
posted by double block and bleed at 2:53 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I must admit to being app-athetic about this.
posted by arcticseal at 3:07 PM on July 13, 2014 [4 favorites]

Can't you just have sex in the bathrooms of various bars and nightclubs like normal people?
posted by The Whelk at 3:12 PM on July 13, 2014 [18 favorites]

Yeah, back in the day we just called this "going out on the town."
posted by GrammarMoses at 3:15 PM on July 13, 2014

24 hours unless we opt to extend... our lives, by curing ourselves of the slow-acting neurotoxin, dismantling the terrorist bombs and rescuing one or more heads of state. I assume we'll be handcuffed to each other, and that my friend will be of a different race/gender/socioeconomic class/age/culture and/or species.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:39 PM on July 13, 2014 [9 favorites]

Sure there's no record *for you*, but you can bet your ass sobrr is keeping it to mine.
posted by Joe Chip at 3:49 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Can't we turn this into a hottie film where the people physically disappear after 24 hours? Like unless they put money on the patron and follow the texted instructions, a creepy Japanese girl in a nightdress crawls out of their smartphone?
posted by happyroach at 3:53 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Almost got over my curmudgeonliness and was going to try it, and lo and behold it's iPhone only. Not the target demographic indeed.
posted by Joe Chip at 3:53 PM on July 13, 2014

Great, another platform for that one guy who shows up in like every search.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:56 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I don't think this is aimed at people who secretly want to meet people to play D&D but don't want any evidence splashed all over Facebook.

That's beholdr
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:58 PM on July 13, 2014 [19 favorites]

Knowing nothing about the app, the name caused some confusion when I saw the flyers advertising their launch party here in Berkeley: "Download Sobrr, post photo, for FREE BEER*".
posted by Jotnbeo at 4:12 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

This seems like an obvious play at replacing Tinder-- emphasizing making quick connections that might transition to something longer. And Tinder definitely needs replacing: poor corporate culture, a buggy app and an astonishingly poor user interface (swiping left means "I never want to see this person again" or "I would like to see this person's next picture" depending on context).
posted by justkevin at 4:36 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

So am I already too old for dating-with-the-cool-kids at 26? Because Tinder is unappealing and this completely baffles me.
posted by pemberkins at 5:39 PM on July 13, 2014

this, but for LARPing
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:42 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

GenjiandProust: "I don't think this is aimed at people who secretly want to meet people to play D&D but don't want any evidence splashed all over Facebook.

That's beholdr"

Wrong again. That's Dungn Mastr
posted by double block and bleed at 7:12 PM on July 13, 2014 [4 favorites]

I want a version of this that automatically and retroactively applies to all my blood relatives and acquaintances. Unless both of us agree to see each other again, sorry Dad, I'm done.
posted by Bella Donna at 7:47 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I don't think this is aimed at people who secretly want to meet people to play D&D but don't want any evidence splashed all over Facebook.

Please, some enterprising mefite build me this app STAT.
posted by echocollate at 8:16 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I tried Omegle text chat tonight and it was, as the kids say, full of fail. If anyone ever builds something compelling to do what it was supposed to do, let me know and I'll get on board. I'll even pay. Like, a lot.
posted by ostranenie at 9:20 PM on July 13, 2014

I don't like this, it's too much like real life where I meet some cool person who lives in another town or far away and then realize that our lives do not overlap in ANY way enough to actually have the time and in person space enough to really make friends. And when you try contacting them online later, they never respond or they respond once saying that they don't have time to write back but will later, which is one of the biggest "fuck you" slaps in the face things to me.* They never do. If you can't connect IRL for longer than one day, well...I just can't get it to work.

* Because no matter what you claim your intention was, I've never ever had someone who said that ever write me again. It is quite the deliberate blowoff to say, "Hey, I'm writing e-mail right now, I could totally write back to you. But see, I'm not! Fuck you!"
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:07 PM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah this is ...WAAAAY too much like real life where yu ( read me) has to do ALL THE WORK into maintaining a friendship because seemingly no one else on the face of the planet is capable of independently making a plan and presenting it to you.

And if you try the other method of stopping being the instigator to see what happens they just vanish off the face of the Earth because the erosion of inertia is just too great to pick up the damn phone once in a while. No one is ever going to continue past 24 hours cause that would be too much "work". And we wonder why we're lonely.

I swear this is why I like Mefi Meetuos cause someone else is doing the social instigating for once. It's exhausting to have to be the only interested party all the time.

Gah, humans are awful.
posted by The Whelk at 10:14 PM on July 13, 2014 [6 favorites]

I'm not sure if it's all humans who are awful. I can't speak to other cultures because I'm not a part of anything other than the educated, american middle-class experience, in the subcategory of introverted tech workers. And there's something wrong in this culture in terms of making friends and keeping them.

I don't know what it is other than I'm part of the problem. Not returning emails or calls, not maintaining contacts for no real reason other than some self-defeating ennui. Maybe it lies in the American sense of "self-made man" that infects the thinking of even those of us who are pretty liberal. There's something in the subconscious which creates reluctance to depend on others, unless that dependence is going to make us some money or is part of some familial responsibility.

I know that doesn't determine everyone's behavior, but seems like it has an effect on many of us.

In terms of an app, there's probably a huge unrealized market aimed at the existential crises of people aged 25+. Make something which is clearly not aimed at hookups, allows the person to post her ridiculously detailed interests, and then match to anyone who comes close. Maybe find that one other person in your town who is also interested in Harry Potter/Space Battleship Yamato/Doctor Who crossover fan-fiction and then have coffee together once a month or so.
posted by honestcoyote at 11:22 PM on July 13, 2014 [6 favorites]

honestcoyote, that's a pretty good idea. How come this isn't a thing?
posted by ostranenie at 1:02 AM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Probably not a thing because the disruptive Valley goblins are concentrating social app development almost exclusively on the teen and early twentysomething market. Sometimes there is crossover, like Facebook's huge success with older folks and I'm sure there's circles of thirtysomethings who exchange pics via Snapchat, but that usage seems accidental.

The model I keep thinking about is online personals used for non-sexual purposes. In the past, when I've felt exceptionally lonely, I've posted something silly (and made it clear I wasn't looking for anything romantic) on OkCupid, or similar, and found someone across the globe of like interests, and just kept up a conversation for a while. Sometimes, a lifelong friend would come out of the experience. It's probably one of the most painless methods of making new friends I've found.
posted by honestcoyote at 2:44 AM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

"I don't have any IRL friends! Why is it so hard to meet people?"

Maybe because potential friends can't strike up a conversation with you when you have your eyes glued to a little screen and earbuds shoved tightly into your ears.
posted by double block and bleed at 3:11 AM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

but if i dont do that everyone can see the loneliness...?

please advise
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:57 AM on July 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

all of y'all bitching about your social lives: imagine if you lived in bumfuck rural central virginia

just kill me now

#PUI
posted by Jacqueline at 5:10 AM on July 14, 2014

The world is full of meek, lonely people who long for meaningful, reaffirming human contact. The world is also full of assholes. I'mma going to take a guess that this app caters to the latter demographic but I wouldn't mind being proven wrong.
posted by Skwirl at 8:02 AM on July 14, 2014

imagine if you lived in bumfuck rural central virginia

Surely there has to be some kind of action going on in a town with the moxie to call itself bumfuck.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:34 AM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Potomac Avenue: "but if i dont do that everyone can see the loneliness...?

please advise"

If you want to learn how to swim, at some point you have to get in the water.
posted by double block and bleed at 3:42 PM on July 14, 2014 [1 favorite]