Feeling like a sultan appraising a rich harem of mannequins...
November 1, 2014 3:04 PM Subscribe
The Uber for Gentleman Companions
A new San Francisco startup promises “what women really want.” Which is, apparently, a model-hot guy to do their bidding. A ManServant.
A new San Francisco startup promises “what women really want.” Which is, apparently, a model-hot guy to do their bidding. A ManServant.
So.. Non-sexual, non-playing male submissive Chippendales for rent, then?
Drafted comment, read the article.. Yup.
posted by ostranenie at 3:19 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Drafted comment, read the article.. Yup.
posted by ostranenie at 3:19 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
My god, were there some hilarious bits in there. I said in my best Eddie Vedder voice.
posted by Diablevert at 3:22 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Diablevert at 3:22 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
When he returns, I order a round of mai tais (nothing for him, he says firmly), and we pass perhaps the most awkward minutes of my life while he attempts to recount the first episode of the Ken Burns Roosevelts documentary, in the first person.
I admit, I laughed. I'm also a little sad they didn't have anyone who actually likes history as an option, though admittedly rates for hiring professional historical actors are substantially higher than what ManServants charges.
Mainly though all of her encounters sound unbelievably creepy and awkward and terrible, though I really, really hope this was verbatim:
Theodore Roosevelt: So how are you ladies doing tonight?
Me: Good. And yourself?
Theodore Roosevelt: I am not very good because my wife, Alice, recently died in childbirth.
posted by jetlagaddict at 3:23 PM on November 1, 2014 [20 favorites]
I admit, I laughed. I'm also a little sad they didn't have anyone who actually likes history as an option, though admittedly rates for hiring professional historical actors are substantially higher than what ManServants charges.
Mainly though all of her encounters sound unbelievably creepy and awkward and terrible, though I really, really hope this was verbatim:
Theodore Roosevelt: So how are you ladies doing tonight?
Me: Good. And yourself?
Theodore Roosevelt: I am not very good because my wife, Alice, recently died in childbirth.
posted by jetlagaddict at 3:23 PM on November 1, 2014 [20 favorites]
Somewhere there is a cleaning company that just randomly decided to hire men because stereotypes are dumb...that is now doing brisk business for reasons they don't understand.
posted by Drinky Die at 3:24 PM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 3:24 PM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
Theodore Roosevelt: So how are you ladies doing tonight?LOL
Me: Good. And yourself?
Theodore Roosevelt: I am not very good because my wife, Alice, recently died in childbirth.
The photos of the totally miserable man servants are equally hilarious.
Other than that, the very rich have been having servants for centuries. The only difference here is that you're hiring a servant for a couple of hours instead of having a full-time employee.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
Anyone else notice that the man holding the parasol isn't actually doing so in a way that provides shade for her?
He's doing it wrong.
posted by el io at 3:40 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
He's doing it wrong.
posted by el io at 3:40 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
Isn't male-escorts-who-aren't-actually-hookers a pretty old business? Come to that, aren't there actually women-escorts-who-aren't-actually-hookers too, and hasn't that been going on a long time as well? Or was that in fact always just a cover for prostitution? This whole piece feels really weirdly written to me. It's like someone describing taxi car service and repeatedly reassuring you that despite what you think, the drivers don't actually offer blow-jobs as part of the service. They just drive you from point A to point B! Can you imagine!
posted by yoink at 3:58 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by yoink at 3:58 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
The article and photography are just wonderful. Also, this company sounds like a prime resource for practical joking.
posted by michaelh at 4:03 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by michaelh at 4:03 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Ah, not unlike the Host and Hostess Clubs found in Japan and other regions of the world.
posted by stubbehtail at 4:05 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by stubbehtail at 4:05 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
Some of the funniest writing I've read in a while.
posted by Corduroy at 4:07 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Corduroy at 4:07 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
But can you hire them to be your pretend boyfriend at high school reunions and awkward weddings? Because I think that's what women really want, not male geishas for baseball games.
posted by fshgrl at 4:07 PM on November 1, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by fshgrl at 4:07 PM on November 1, 2014 [11 favorites]
So in a post about street harassment on my Facebook, a friend of mine jokingly suggested I "Hire-A-Stalker" to stay a few steps behind me in a creepy way and shout, "Hands off! I called dibs!" I bet the politer social equivalent ends up being what a lot of these dudes get hired for.
Also this article was hilarious.
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
Also this article was hilarious.
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
Overall, I'd prefer that it be less socially acceptable to treat people as objects.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:21 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:21 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
This piece was so funny! Thanks for posting. This part was especially great:
One of my favorite facts about women that men who don’t like them love to throw around is that they’d love to be a woman who just wants to get laid because things would be so easy.
You’d just stroll into a bar, any bar, and no matter how overweight you were or how unfeminine your haircut was, somebody would fuck you. I cherish this myth. I love to picture bursting into a bar and demanding “Who’s gonna fuck mama?” in an Eddie Vedder voice. “Where’s my free sex?”
posted by dialetheia at 4:26 PM on November 1, 2014 [26 favorites]
One of my favorite facts about women that men who don’t like them love to throw around is that they’d love to be a woman who just wants to get laid because things would be so easy.
You’d just stroll into a bar, any bar, and no matter how overweight you were or how unfeminine your haircut was, somebody would fuck you. I cherish this myth. I love to picture bursting into a bar and demanding “Who’s gonna fuck mama?” in an Eddie Vedder voice. “Where’s my free sex?”
posted by dialetheia at 4:26 PM on November 1, 2014 [26 favorites]
I have a lot of room in my life for an actual servant to do errands and chores, preferably a man so he can walk me home from work but this extraneous faux-sexual titilating amusement thing is really tiresome.
posted by bleep at 4:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by bleep at 4:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
MonkeyToes: Overall, I'd prefer that it be less socially acceptable to treat people as objects.
Ah, the old standby: the false dichotomy.
This is about supplying a fantasy. It's actually a desirable job to some people, including (no doubt) some here on Metafilter.
Not every sex worker is a slave, nor abused. And since these are peripherally sex workers, if people enjoy their jobs, and can make money at it from an appreciative audience/customer base, it's simply mean-spirited for you to declare that realm of sexuality immoral.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:38 PM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
Ah, the old standby: the false dichotomy.
This is about supplying a fantasy. It's actually a desirable job to some people, including (no doubt) some here on Metafilter.
Not every sex worker is a slave, nor abused. And since these are peripherally sex workers, if people enjoy their jobs, and can make money at it from an appreciative audience/customer base, it's simply mean-spirited for you to declare that realm of sexuality immoral.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:38 PM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
I find it very strange that strippers seem to be more widely accepted in the US than this form of "not quite sex" work. It's the same fantasy, but without the direct sexual stimulation.
posted by grudgebgon at 4:41 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by grudgebgon at 4:41 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
I would pay for this for my birthday if I was single and in the area. This sounds really great. And for every single wedding ever. Even weddings now that my husband hates and doesn't want to go to.
posted by corb at 4:42 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by corb at 4:42 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Also if I were not in a relationship and could get paid to pretend to be someone's girlfriend, but without the sex, for $80 an hour, I would do it in such a heartbeat.
posted by corb at 4:42 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by corb at 4:42 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
At least, unlike the usual stories about startups, the employees are being paid very well.
But this makes me itch, not least because if the genders were changed there would be an enormous outcry. Yes, there's context inasmuch as women have been treated like chattel forever. But equalizing the playing field by objectifying men in the same way isn't progress, I think.
It's not the service per se; it would be great to have staff and hell, it's not entirely unreasonable to want them to be good looking I suppose. It's the degrading aspects around it (can't eat, can't drink, "my lady," enforced compliments) that rub me the wrong way. I guess it's one thing to expect respect from an employee, it's the enforced subservience that's bothersome. And maybe it would be less bothersome if the negotiation were directly between worker and client, without the middle layer of someone else deciding what you actually want? I don't know. I mean, at the end of the day, these men have agency and have chosen to do this job--they're not being forced into demeaning pay-nothing work because there aren't other options--so I'm not criticizing their choices. I'm more criticizing the choices of the startup creators.
I'm also slightly concerned about Roosevelt. She didn't exactly give him a glowing review, and I can't imagine that the job security is particularly robust here.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:52 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
But this makes me itch, not least because if the genders were changed there would be an enormous outcry. Yes, there's context inasmuch as women have been treated like chattel forever. But equalizing the playing field by objectifying men in the same way isn't progress, I think.
It's not the service per se; it would be great to have staff and hell, it's not entirely unreasonable to want them to be good looking I suppose. It's the degrading aspects around it (can't eat, can't drink, "my lady," enforced compliments) that rub me the wrong way. I guess it's one thing to expect respect from an employee, it's the enforced subservience that's bothersome. And maybe it would be less bothersome if the negotiation were directly between worker and client, without the middle layer of someone else deciding what you actually want? I don't know. I mean, at the end of the day, these men have agency and have chosen to do this job--they're not being forced into demeaning pay-nothing work because there aren't other options--so I'm not criticizing their choices. I'm more criticizing the choices of the startup creators.
I'm also slightly concerned about Roosevelt. She didn't exactly give him a glowing review, and I can't imagine that the job security is particularly robust here.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:52 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
It honestly doesn't sound more degrading to me than the time I have spent in retail/fast food. If the client was polite I think I would find this job downright pleasant and refreshing in comparison.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:54 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 4:54 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
This is about supplying a fantasy.
See also: Walt Disney World Resort.
posted by mikelieman at 4:54 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
See also: Walt Disney World Resort.
posted by mikelieman at 4:54 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
I am loathe to speak ill of fake Theodore Roosevelt, but, man, he would not make a very good real hooker. He would not even make a very good Ruby Tuesday waiter on a day he was cranky. He clearly didn’t want to be there.Jesus Christ lady, his wife just died in childbirth, cut him a break already
posted by Flunkie at 4:56 PM on November 1, 2014 [58 favorites]
It's nice to hear that Hecubus(warning: spoiler alert for Presumed Innocent)
will be able to get some freelance work.
posted by Yowser at 4:57 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
will be able to get some freelance work.
posted by Yowser at 4:57 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Then again, I'd probably be an even worse client for a sex worker than the writer is so what do I know.
Actually that's the other bothersome thing... "this service isn't about sex except it's really about sex but no bodily fluids because obviously girls just like to look and not touch teeheee" uuuuuurgh.
I have no doubt that the interactions will be totally different with male clients. Probably a lot less pretence.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:59 PM on November 1, 2014
Actually that's the other bothersome thing... "this service isn't about sex except it's really about sex but no bodily fluids because obviously girls just like to look and not touch teeheee" uuuuuurgh.
I have no doubt that the interactions will be totally different with male clients. Probably a lot less pretence.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:59 PM on November 1, 2014
Hmm... I think I'd prefer a lady version of Bunter to follow me around crime scenes taking photographs while I make deductions and stare at things through my monocle. It's also 1921.
posted by betweenthebars at 5:06 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 5:06 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
Also, it looks like the App world is really beginning to hit the bottom of the barrel for dumb, derivative, or illegal ideas. And yet there is no bubble in sight. Looks like all the dude bros with their rich families and bought Ivy League degrees have abandoned Wall Street and are turning the west coast into their new "Walled Garden"
posted by Yowser at 5:08 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Yowser at 5:08 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Rich in satire, in that most SV startups are centered around what young rich urban men wan, and thereby think the world needs them to bestow upon us.
posted by Dashy at 5:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Dashy at 5:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
In their defence, I hear the weather is much better in San Fran compared to NYC.
posted by Yowser at 5:20 PM on November 1, 2014
posted by Yowser at 5:20 PM on November 1, 2014
Isn't male-escorts-who-aren't-actually-hookers a pretty old business?
Yes but just try finding a decent cicisbeo outside of Italy. Even inside, these days. Standards have fallen.
posted by kenko at 5:28 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Yes but just try finding a decent cicisbeo outside of Italy. Even inside, these days. Standards have fallen.
posted by kenko at 5:28 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Pictured: The Ubermensch of gentleman companions.
posted by bicyclefish at 5:46 PM on November 1, 2014
posted by bicyclefish at 5:46 PM on November 1, 2014
Isa’s sexuality has always been a bit of question mark for me, as she dresses kind of like a cross between a confident dad on a tropical vacation and a color-blind lesbian. Today, it’s cargo shorts and a paisley top with an aquamarine scarf wrapped around her neck.
The article was a lot of fun to read, but I'm really sad that there were no photos of Isa's outfit.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:50 PM on November 1, 2014 [13 favorites]
Jezebel would be an enthusiastic early investor. Reverse the gender pronouns, and Jezebel would lose their minds.
posted by four panels at 6:09 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by four panels at 6:09 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
I tried to think of what, if anything, I'd use this service for. The only thing I came up with is that it might be nice to have someone sit in the kitchen with me while I take Easy-Off to my stovetop, since I haven't used the stuff before, and I'm kind of scared of it.
In short, I'm probably not the target audience for this product.
I may, however, be exactly the target audience for a Zojirushi rice cooker that sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
posted by evidenceofabsence at 6:26 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
In short, I'm probably not the target audience for this product.
I may, however, be exactly the target audience for a Zojirushi rice cooker that sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
posted by evidenceofabsence at 6:26 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
I want a cornucopia of sexual titillation.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:30 PM on November 1, 2014
posted by cjorgensen at 6:30 PM on November 1, 2014
Stupid sexy Zojirushi rice cookers.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [9 favorites]
Going from this:
But I know from minute one with TR that I’m not going to even flirt with him, because that is exactly where my gendered lack of sexual entitlement comes into play
to this:
I’ve never done sex work or private entertainment of any kind, but I think part of doing it is not acting like you’d rather be anyplace else — and possibly dead
was interesting. I mean, I don't know but I would assume male sexual entitlement goes a long way towards ignoring/not being sensitive to how the other (paid) party really feels about the encounter.
But I'm a world-class introvert with social anxiety so any kind "hire a person to do X near you" business ideas give me a full-body shudder. I guess if I could hire a handsome guy to, say, take amazing care of my dogs while I'm out of town, but never actually talk to me or be in my house while I'm there, and accept payment over the internet, that would be cool? But he'd have to take really good care of the dogs.
I liked the ending paragraph very much.
posted by Squeak Attack at 6:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
But I know from minute one with TR that I’m not going to even flirt with him, because that is exactly where my gendered lack of sexual entitlement comes into play
to this:
I’ve never done sex work or private entertainment of any kind, but I think part of doing it is not acting like you’d rather be anyplace else — and possibly dead
was interesting. I mean, I don't know but I would assume male sexual entitlement goes a long way towards ignoring/not being sensitive to how the other (paid) party really feels about the encounter.
But I'm a world-class introvert with social anxiety so any kind "hire a person to do X near you" business ideas give me a full-body shudder. I guess if I could hire a handsome guy to, say, take amazing care of my dogs while I'm out of town, but never actually talk to me or be in my house while I'm there, and accept payment over the internet, that would be cool? But he'd have to take really good care of the dogs.
I liked the ending paragraph very much.
posted by Squeak Attack at 6:34 PM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]
Well, the photos are obviously chosen to be a satirical counter-point to the story, cjorgenson. Also, I suspect they are not actually featuring the men of Manservant.
posted by Squeak Attack at 6:37 PM on November 1, 2014
posted by Squeak Attack at 6:37 PM on November 1, 2014
They're hot but are they taught how to be charming and sweet? Or are those guys the premium model? How much more will the really top line ones cost?
Just, um, wondering.
posted by discopolo at 6:39 PM on November 1, 2014
Just, um, wondering.
posted by discopolo at 6:39 PM on November 1, 2014
That's the same guy, and yeah he's easily good looking enough to be a model. Perhaps not A-list catwalk, but close enough.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:42 PM on November 1, 2014
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:42 PM on November 1, 2014
The idea of using this service is really unappealing but if I had the option to do this for groups of women for $80 an hour I totally would. I'm great at compliments and weird random roleplay shit and at not fucking people.
posted by NoraReed at 6:51 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by NoraReed at 6:51 PM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]
Drinky Die - Whoops! Meant to post that in the Christopher Nolan thread, which features tea flask discussion.
posted by thedaniel at 7:11 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by thedaniel at 7:11 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
I don't know about model-attractive, but I have it on good authority that if you can keep a relatively straight face about the whole thing, it is allegedly possible to, in most relatively urban areas, go on Fetlife, if you are a woman, and acquire a man to come clean your house for free, although you may have to agree to insult him and/or allow him to do it in some kind of state of undress. I knew a person who claimed to have done this. I've never tested the theory.
Hell, if you like that sort of thing, it would probably not be that difficult to find a guy who's just sort of nothing special in the looks department and clean him up a bit. It'd probably be the one exception to the "you can't make a man a project" thing. There are really some people out there who want to be a project. Then, you know, he can feed you grapes or whatever. It seems like the real fantasy here is that you can have that relationship and then drop it when you're bored with it. So--yeah, I guess it is like stripping.
But I don't have the energy or inclination to be In Charge when I'm trying to relax, permanently or temporarily.
posted by Sequence at 7:13 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Hell, if you like that sort of thing, it would probably not be that difficult to find a guy who's just sort of nothing special in the looks department and clean him up a bit. It'd probably be the one exception to the "you can't make a man a project" thing. There are really some people out there who want to be a project. Then, you know, he can feed you grapes or whatever. It seems like the real fantasy here is that you can have that relationship and then drop it when you're bored with it. So--yeah, I guess it is like stripping.
But I don't have the energy or inclination to be In Charge when I'm trying to relax, permanently or temporarily.
posted by Sequence at 7:13 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm great at compliments and weird random roleplay shit
Do you think you could sit at a kitchen table and say things like "You're doing fine!" and "You aren't going to kill people by accidentally feeding them solvents!" and "That's definitely wiping clean!" and "It's probably okay that you got some on your arm!" and "There's no way that spraying isobutane near an open flame could start a fire!" for an hour?
Even though those might be outright lies?
I may be overthinking this whole Easy-Off thing.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:16 PM on November 1, 2014 [17 favorites]
Do you think you could sit at a kitchen table and say things like "You're doing fine!" and "You aren't going to kill people by accidentally feeding them solvents!" and "That's definitely wiping clean!" and "It's probably okay that you got some on your arm!" and "There's no way that spraying isobutane near an open flame could start a fire!" for an hour?
Even though those might be outright lies?
I may be overthinking this whole Easy-Off thing.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:16 PM on November 1, 2014 [17 favorites]
Well, the photos are obviously chosen to be a satirical counter-point to the story, cjorgenson.
Woosh! I read the article, but the pictures as satire I didn't get at all.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:17 PM on November 1, 2014
Woosh! I read the article, but the pictures as satire I didn't get at all.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:17 PM on November 1, 2014
and/or allow him to do it in some kind of state of undress.
Or crossdress. This is a really useful lifehack here for men or women, if you never want to clean again and can deal with the possibility of creepiness...well, you can think of the appropriate google terms yourself I think.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:18 PM on November 1, 2014
Or crossdress. This is a really useful lifehack here for men or women, if you never want to clean again and can deal with the possibility of creepiness...well, you can think of the appropriate google terms yourself I think.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:18 PM on November 1, 2014
although you may have to agree to insult him and/or allow him to do it in some kind of state of undress.
A friend of mine (male and gay, admittedly) used to have a guy show up weekly to clean his apartment top to bottom. He'd be naked--but for a French maid apron--and had to be insulted from time to time ("That's not clean, you fail at everything, etc"), but that was the totality of my friend's involvement. Not sure why he stopped doing it, to be honest. I'd be totally down with that kind of service.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
A friend of mine (male and gay, admittedly) used to have a guy show up weekly to clean his apartment top to bottom. He'd be naked--but for a French maid apron--and had to be insulted from time to time ("That's not clean, you fail at everything, etc"), but that was the totality of my friend's involvement. Not sure why he stopped doing it, to be honest. I'd be totally down with that kind of service.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:20 PM on November 1, 2014 [7 favorites]
It seems like the real fantasy here is that you can have that relationship and then drop it when you're bored with it
The old joke is that you aren't paying the sex worker for sex, you are paying them to leave, so I can see how this would be an important part of the fantasy.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:30 PM on November 1, 2014
The old joke is that you aren't paying the sex worker for sex, you are paying them to leave, so I can see how this would be an important part of the fantasy.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:30 PM on November 1, 2014
I was fascinated by a river of discomfort with being catered too which went through this entire article. Her comment near the beginning that she was worried she'd make the man she hired to cater to her uncomfortable was really interesting in terms of how (some) women are socialized to caregive and to not caretake (muahahahahahapun). I'd be in a similar circumstance, worrying that I was boring him or weirding him out, if I hired someone like this.
But in the abstract, the idea of having someone who is delighted to be with me, who complements me even if I don't deserve it, etc.... it seems really appealing even while it's definitely twigging some TAKE CARE OF EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE thing in me.
posted by Deoridhe at 7:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
But in the abstract, the idea of having someone who is delighted to be with me, who complements me even if I don't deserve it, etc.... it seems really appealing even while it's definitely twigging some TAKE CARE OF EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE thing in me.
posted by Deoridhe at 7:31 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Do you think you could sit at a kitchen table and say things like "You're doing fine!" and "You aren't going to kill people by accidentally feeding them solvents!" and "That's definitely wiping clean!" and "It's probably okay that you got some on your arm!" and "There's no way that spraying isobutane near an open flame could start a fire!" for an hour?
"I think the solvent splotches make that scarf look even BETTER! It really brings out your eyes!" "Of course the fumes aren't getting to you!"
(makes "call me" gesture with thumb and pinky)
posted by NoraReed at 7:41 PM on November 1, 2014 [8 favorites]
"I think the solvent splotches make that scarf look even BETTER! It really brings out your eyes!" "Of course the fumes aren't getting to you!"
(makes "call me" gesture with thumb and pinky)
posted by NoraReed at 7:41 PM on November 1, 2014 [8 favorites]
The article was a lot of fun to read, but I'm really sad that there were no photos of Isa's outfit.
Yeah, I kept looking, too! I also wondered whether I knew Isa, until it turned out that THIS particular Isa-with-bad-dress-sense-and-a-dead-Cuban-grandmother is from Cleveland.
I'd be in a similar circumstance, worrying that I was boring him or weirding him out, if I hired someone like this.
Ugh yes. It actually sounds like a nightmare: pay hundreds of dollars to have someone who doesn't know you from Adam and refuses to accept any food/drinks/gifts or indulge in anything with you repeatedly lie to your face! FOR HOURS!
posted by rue72 at 8:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I kept looking, too! I also wondered whether I knew Isa, until it turned out that THIS particular Isa-with-bad-dress-sense-and-a-dead-Cuban-grandmother is from Cleveland.
I'd be in a similar circumstance, worrying that I was boring him or weirding him out, if I hired someone like this.
Ugh yes. It actually sounds like a nightmare: pay hundreds of dollars to have someone who doesn't know you from Adam and refuses to accept any food/drinks/gifts or indulge in anything with you repeatedly lie to your face! FOR HOURS!
posted by rue72 at 8:04 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
Jezebel would be an enthusiastic early investor. Reverse the gender pronouns, and Jezebel would lose their minds.
You mean the women's rights outlet? Honestly, that seems churlish of them given that men performing sex work for women is literally known as "the oldest profession". Isn't holding every presidency since the country was founded enough for them?
Oh, you didn't mean all the pronouns, I see. Well, that would be a different thing.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:05 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
You mean the women's rights outlet? Honestly, that seems churlish of them given that men performing sex work for women is literally known as "the oldest profession". Isn't holding every presidency since the country was founded enough for them?
Oh, you didn't mean all the pronouns, I see. Well, that would be a different thing.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:05 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Jezebel would be an enthusiastic early investor. Reverse the gender pronouns, and Jezebel would lose their minds.
Oh please. Jezebel supports women who are voluntarily involved in sex work and want to be in sex work. They do get upset with the clients who make it dangerous for them and hope for greater protections for them.
Maybe you should try reading the website for once.
posted by discopolo at 8:18 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
Oh please. Jezebel supports women who are voluntarily involved in sex work and want to be in sex work. They do get upset with the clients who make it dangerous for them and hope for greater protections for them.
Maybe you should try reading the website for once.
posted by discopolo at 8:18 PM on November 1, 2014 [10 favorites]
Ridiculous. What this woman really wants is everyone everywhere to do her bidding. Looks-ism not included.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:21 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:21 PM on November 1, 2014 [3 favorites]
Yeah, geez, why isn't there an app where I can pay $125/hr to be God-Emperor
posted by NoraReed at 8:46 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by NoraReed at 8:46 PM on November 1, 2014 [2 favorites]
In general, this article (especially the last paragraph) and the comment thread made my night.
It's a shame I look like a dirty Portlander, because otherwise I'd totally move to San Fran, quit my day job (giving massages) to go be hot and tell women they're dashingly charming, beautiful, witty, and cunningly intelligent. Feeding them grapes would be an optional bonus. I even have the 500$ suit to do this, but something tells me the dreadlocks would ruin the whole "model hunk" image.
Their website is hilarious ... yeah, this empowers women by disempowering the men that do this purely for the money. For the men who are service-oriented by nature (there are quite a few of us), this is a fantastic gig.
posted by thebotanyofsouls at 8:47 PM on November 1, 2014
It's a shame I look like a dirty Portlander, because otherwise I'd totally move to San Fran, quit my day job (giving massages) to go be hot and tell women they're dashingly charming, beautiful, witty, and cunningly intelligent. Feeding them grapes would be an optional bonus. I even have the 500$ suit to do this, but something tells me the dreadlocks would ruin the whole "model hunk" image.
Their website is hilarious ... yeah, this empowers women by disempowering the men that do this purely for the money. For the men who are service-oriented by nature (there are quite a few of us), this is a fantastic gig.
posted by thebotanyofsouls at 8:47 PM on November 1, 2014
Service industry people calling me "sir" is bad enough. If I had someone waiting on me like this (of any gender or lack thereof) I would freak out. I still have occasional nightmares about the time the partner took me to a maid cafe in Japan.
My ideal service is the soup Nazi.That makes me comfortable.
posted by yeolcoatl at 8:56 PM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
My ideal service is the soup Nazi.That makes me comfortable.
posted by yeolcoatl at 8:56 PM on November 1, 2014 [12 favorites]
A friend of mine (male and gay, admittedly) used to have a guy show up weekly to clean his apartment top to bottom. He'd be naked--but for a French maid apron.
As appealing as this sounds, I just know I'd spend the day before cleaning up just so he wouldn't have to work too hard.
posted by SPrintF at 10:02 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
As appealing as this sounds, I just know I'd spend the day before cleaning up just so he wouldn't have to work too hard.
posted by SPrintF at 10:02 PM on November 1, 2014 [6 favorites]
I signed up for their mailing list months ago. The day they come to Chicago I'll be hiring one of their ManServants for my wife.
posted by eamondaly at 10:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by eamondaly at 10:14 PM on November 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wow, this was uncomfortable on so many levels, both for the writer/hire-r and poor ol' TR. I really felt sorry for TR. The requirements of the job don't seem quite natural. It's a fake date without a lot of the aspects of dating that would be natural (and I'm not even referring to the sex). Also weird that the company insists on her not going alone so she won't molest the employee, geez.
I don't think this is going to be a hit based on sheer weird logistics/awkwardness alone.
Did laugh at the "oh, sure, any woman at all no matter how ugly can walk into a bar and get sex" bit though. I'm pretty sure for at least some of us the answer to that is "hell no" or "only with guys so freaky you'd be terrified to do them."
Ironically, I'm at my mom's and what's on the TV is "A Boyfriend For Christmas" in which Santa FINALLY drops off the long-asked-for boyfriend, and the girl naturally assumes this was a present from a friend of hers, and then she's all "Hey, my relatives are always bitching about my not having a man for the holidays, let's bring this one over...."
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:37 PM on November 1, 2014
I don't think this is going to be a hit based on sheer weird logistics/awkwardness alone.
Did laugh at the "oh, sure, any woman at all no matter how ugly can walk into a bar and get sex" bit though. I'm pretty sure for at least some of us the answer to that is "hell no" or "only with guys so freaky you'd be terrified to do them."
Ironically, I'm at my mom's and what's on the TV is "A Boyfriend For Christmas" in which Santa FINALLY drops off the long-asked-for boyfriend, and the girl naturally assumes this was a present from a friend of hers, and then she's all "Hey, my relatives are always bitching about my not having a man for the holidays, let's bring this one over...."
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:37 PM on November 1, 2014
Having engaged in female dominance, it is true what Sequence said: you can find this for free on FetLife and similar sites. But - there are several caveats. Many will say they will clean your house, etc with no expectation of reciprocity, but the vast majority are lying, especially if you see each other more than once. Most say there will be no emotional involvement; probably half are lying. I have never met a male sub (submissive, not bottom) who could shut off the emotional part; it is natural to become attached to someone who is consensually controlling you. (Also: male subs certainly aren't uniformly model hot, just like any other group of people, but since the ratio of malesubs/female doms is so skewed, it's pretty easy for a woman of average attractiveness to get a really hot guy.)
It is much more difficult than you think to be cold and demanding, especially with someone you like or love. (And if you don't like him, why bother continuing to see him?) Disregarding your partner's desires goes against everything that women are socialized for. I can see how a monetary exchange - from the woman to the man - makes this easier and objectifies the man. I have better things to spend my money on, but I can certainly see why this would be appealing.
(Honestly, what I would pay for is an on-call "boyfriend" to help with tasks that are just easier with two people, like bathing a cat or moving a large piece of furniture. The jobs are too small to call a handyperson for and too inconvenient/awkward to ask a friend for. The best part would be that the on-call "boyfriend" would not hog the blankets/leave socks on the floor and just generally go away.)
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on November 2, 2014 [8 favorites]
It is much more difficult than you think to be cold and demanding, especially with someone you like or love. (And if you don't like him, why bother continuing to see him?) Disregarding your partner's desires goes against everything that women are socialized for. I can see how a monetary exchange - from the woman to the man - makes this easier and objectifies the man. I have better things to spend my money on, but I can certainly see why this would be appealing.
(Honestly, what I would pay for is an on-call "boyfriend" to help with tasks that are just easier with two people, like bathing a cat or moving a large piece of furniture. The jobs are too small to call a handyperson for and too inconvenient/awkward to ask a friend for. The best part would be that the on-call "boyfriend" would not hog the blankets/leave socks on the floor and just generally go away.)
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on November 2, 2014 [8 favorites]
(No, we don't have TaskRabbit here.)
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on November 2, 2014
posted by desjardins at 8:24 AM on November 2, 2014
He also helpfully told me at one point how he’d write this article, as he had some pretty strong ideas about real vs. nonreal journalism — let’s just say the name Hunter S. Thompson was invoked.
YES! That's what women really want! ...mansplaining.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:18 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
YES! That's what women really want! ...mansplaining.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:18 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
...I think it would be hard enough to reverse the gender expectations (man does emotional labor for woman) even if the guy were comfortable with and good at it.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:20 AM on November 2, 2014
posted by Omnomnom at 11:20 AM on November 2, 2014
Giving this some more thought ... years ago, a female dominant friend invited me over because a male sub foot fetishist had volunteered to give pedicures to any of her female friends. He also served drinks and was generally subservient to all of us. He was fully clothed, totally professional and polite the entire time, but knowing he was sexually getting off on this created a creepy undertone. The hostess didn't care: he was from out of town, she'd vetted him through mutual acquaintances, she was getting a free pedicure, and she'd never see him again. I was there to socialize with other women; I would've rather paid for the pedicure.
Anyway, the point is that a man can be subservient but the woman still ends up being objectified. This is instantly apparent when you identify yourself as a female dominant on fetish sites - your inbox will be flooded with questions about what you look like and what you're wearing and what you'd like to do to (read: for) them. Pro domme sessions are also necessarily going to be about what the man wants, since he's paying for it.
So, part of the appeal of this Manservant thing could be that (presumably) the guys aren't in it for a sexual thrill, and removing that pressure would be pretty great, honestly.
But... I doubt this service will still be around in a year. The demand is too niche and most women don't have that kind of money.
posted by desjardins at 11:35 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
Anyway, the point is that a man can be subservient but the woman still ends up being objectified. This is instantly apparent when you identify yourself as a female dominant on fetish sites - your inbox will be flooded with questions about what you look like and what you're wearing and what you'd like to do to (read: for) them. Pro domme sessions are also necessarily going to be about what the man wants, since he's paying for it.
So, part of the appeal of this Manservant thing could be that (presumably) the guys aren't in it for a sexual thrill, and removing that pressure would be pretty great, honestly.
But... I doubt this service will still be around in a year. The demand is too niche and most women don't have that kind of money.
posted by desjardins at 11:35 AM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
Anyone else notice that the man holding the parasol isn't actually doing so in a way that provides shade for her?
He's doing it wrong.
He's doing it for the photographer, not for her.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:18 PM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
He's doing it wrong.
He's doing it for the photographer, not for her.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:18 PM on November 2, 2014 [3 favorites]
Man, I can't stop talking about this. Sorry.
What I wouldn't pay money for: model-like man who tells me by rote that I am beautiful and offers me standard pamperings as part of the service.
What I would pay for: Skilled conversationalist who makes me feel fascinating, intelligent and funny. Must like people and getting to know them. Slightly above average looks, wide spread interests.
posted by Omnomnom at 3:44 PM on November 2, 2014
What I wouldn't pay money for: model-like man who tells me by rote that I am beautiful and offers me standard pamperings as part of the service.
What I would pay for: Skilled conversationalist who makes me feel fascinating, intelligent and funny. Must like people and getting to know them. Slightly above average looks, wide spread interests.
posted by Omnomnom at 3:44 PM on November 2, 2014
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Let us all know how it goes.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 3:14 PM on November 1, 2014