Also includes casting notes on the 2015 remake
December 22, 2014 6:54 PM Subscribe
Die Hard has been previously established as the most Christmasy film ever (shut up, Buzzfeed), now you can join in the festive fun with this specially recorded War Rocket Ajax Die Hard commentary track featuring Matt Fraction, Matt D Wilson and Chris Sims. Cue up the Vintage VHS tape (or modern alternative, scheisse dem fenster, and enjoy!
Shit the window?.?...
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:09 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:09 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
I believe that should be “Schiess das Fenster.”
posted by El Mariachi at 7:10 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by El Mariachi at 7:10 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
Roomate: "Now I haff un Machinegun too?"
Me (watching his Zerg rush meet a whole lot of siege-tanks and missile turrets as the last of my full key of Battlecruisers comes "fully operational"): "Yippe-ki-yay, motherfucker."
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:15 PM on December 22, 2014
Me (watching his Zerg rush meet a whole lot of siege-tanks and missile turrets as the last of my full key of Battlecruisers comes "fully operational"): "Yippe-ki-yay, motherfucker."
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:15 PM on December 22, 2014
A comedian I follow was live-tweeting her watching this last night, and it made me want to watch it again.
Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber is so good. "You want miracles, I give you... the F.B.I."
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:16 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber is so good. "You want miracles, I give you... the F.B.I."
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:16 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
His first ever cinematic role, I learned from this podcast.
posted by Artw at 7:22 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 7:22 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
There's a Fanfare post for Die Hard if anyone is not aware.
posted by phearlez at 7:22 PM on December 22, 2014
posted by phearlez at 7:22 PM on December 22, 2014
Die Hard is on our xmas movie list for Thursday, along with The Lion in Winter, Female Trouble, and Long Kiss Goodnight, and maybe a few others, depending on how long we last. We will have to cue this up, too.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:34 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by gingerbeer at 7:34 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
I'm thinking of adding Gremlins to the list this year.
posted by Artw at 7:36 PM on December 22, 2014
posted by Artw at 7:36 PM on December 22, 2014
We considered Gremlins, but it got relegated to the No list. Neither of us really wanted to see it again. The Thin Man is under consideration, though.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:41 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by gingerbeer at 7:41 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have a whole googledocs spreadsheet of xmas-not-xmas movies.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:42 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by gingerbeer at 7:42 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
Die Hard is on our xmas movie list for Thursday, along with The Lion in Winter, Female Trouble, and Long Kiss Goodnight
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:46 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:46 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
My son saw Die Hard at a midnight movie a couple years ago and said something like "I love seeing old cheesy movies in the theater". I sputtered something indignant about kids these days and changed the subject.
posted by octothorpe at 7:48 PM on December 22, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 7:48 PM on December 22, 2014 [6 favorites]
scheisse dem fenster
Shit the window??...
I believe that should be “Schiess das Fenster.”
Jon Mitchell's video link: its"Schieß auf das Fenster", idiot!
Google Translate claims that "Schieß auf das Fenster" is "shooting on the window", and that "shoot the window" = "schießen das Fenster".
So who's right? this is important
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:47 PM on December 22, 2014
Shit the window??...
I believe that should be “Schiess das Fenster.”
Jon Mitchell's video link: its"Schieß auf das Fenster", idiot!
Google Translate claims that "Schieß auf das Fenster" is "shooting on the window", and that "shoot the window" = "schießen das Fenster".
So who's right? this is important
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:47 PM on December 22, 2014
Don't worry, it confused Karl, too. Even more than the whole Asian Dawn thing.
posted by ckape at 8:54 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by ckape at 8:54 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Anything by Shane Black is a Xmas movie, folks. I think he really hates Xmas.
posted by daq at 8:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by daq at 8:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
I think Die Hard will be difficult to remake. That 80s action hero swagger, terrorist villians, the fantasy of it all. To reinterpret all that in the post 9-11, internet age is a big order. The writer and director has to change so much and try to keep it from unravelling. Consider the RoboCop remake.
posted by humanfont at 8:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by humanfont at 8:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Hell, consider the post-9/11 Die Hard movies.
posted by Reyturner at 8:59 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Reyturner at 8:59 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'd think either "schiesse das Fenster" or "schieß das Fenster" would be correct, depending on how familiar Hans is with Karl ("schiesse" and "schieß" are the imperative forms of "schiessen", according to Webster's Big Book of German Werbs).
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:00 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:00 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
My tradition has become watching Die Hard on the plane when I'm flying back to my parents for Christmas. I never make fists with my toes afterwards, because it's just not worth the risk.
posted by ckape at 9:38 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ckape at 9:38 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
humanfont: Yes, you'd need to provide Social Security numbers before depositing any bearer bonds now. And there aren't many left in the U.S. anyway, apparently. Sorta like the 'ludes of "The Wolf of Wall Street."
And of course everybody in the tower now would have smart phones, so there go the scenes with cutting and then chain-sawing the wires, the dropped call with Argyle, and the idea of cutting off seemingly all contact with the world outside of Nakatomi Plaza. You could just have some super-geek take over a made-up Los Angeles Mobile Communications Center, I suppose, and have him or her hack into the system in two minutes, a la "The Italian Job" or any TV shows with geeks on the investigative or crime squad. Or "Die Harder" or whatever the penultimate movie in the series was.
posted by raysmj at 10:33 PM on December 22, 2014
And of course everybody in the tower now would have smart phones, so there go the scenes with cutting and then chain-sawing the wires, the dropped call with Argyle, and the idea of cutting off seemingly all contact with the world outside of Nakatomi Plaza. You could just have some super-geek take over a made-up Los Angeles Mobile Communications Center, I suppose, and have him or her hack into the system in two minutes, a la "The Italian Job" or any TV shows with geeks on the investigative or crime squad. Or "Die Harder" or whatever the penultimate movie in the series was.
posted by raysmj at 10:33 PM on December 22, 2014
And of course everybody in the tower now would have smart phones, so there go the scenes with cutting and then chain-sawing the wires, the dropped call with Argyle
Cell phone jammers are totally a thing.
posted by flaterik at 10:49 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Cell phone jammers are totally a thing.
posted by flaterik at 10:49 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
The best covert Xmas movies, however, are The Apartment and Eyes Wide Shut.
These two movies, plus the first two Die Hard films, are my standard suggestions whenever the subject of Christmas movies comes up.
posted by twirlip at 11:45 PM on December 22, 2014
These two movies, plus the first two Die Hard films, are my standard suggestions whenever the subject of Christmas movies comes up.
posted by twirlip at 11:45 PM on December 22, 2014
You can never go wrong with The Lion in Winter.
Our Christams tradition is to watch all the holiday episodes of South Park and Futurama.
(Got a little... awkward one year when my very Catholic sister-in-law first saw the South Park "holiday abortion" episode.)
posted by Cyrano at 12:29 AM on December 23, 2014
Our Christams tradition is to watch all the holiday episodes of South Park and Futurama.
(Got a little... awkward one year when my very Catholic sister-in-law first saw the South Park "holiday abortion" episode.)
posted by Cyrano at 12:29 AM on December 23, 2014
Schießen would be used a little more formally, like “Schießen Sie bitte das Fenster, Karl.” Which is not the tone Gruber was going for.
The “auf dem” variant means “Shoot on the window” and should probably be “Schieß am Fenster” — shoot at the window.
Another possible nitpick is that the target in question is a full length interior divider, which most people would not refer to as a “window” in either German or English. Indeed, when Gruber clarifies for the audience, he calls it “the glass.”
posted by El Mariachi at 12:36 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
The “auf dem” variant means “Shoot on the window” and should probably be “Schieß am Fenster” — shoot at the window.
Another possible nitpick is that the target in question is a full length interior divider, which most people would not refer to as a “window” in either German or English. Indeed, when Gruber clarifies for the audience, he calls it “the glass.”
posted by El Mariachi at 12:36 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
"Butt-fucked on national TV, Dwayne" was a scandalous thing then, pre-internet, the whispered talk of the playground; now there are two girls and one cup. I wonder if some of the awe and mystery has gone out of the world.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:02 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:02 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
El Mariachi is correct about the formal imperative, and, “Schießen Sie bitte das Fenster, Karl,” is hilarious. However, I think auf das Fenster is more correct than am Fenster -- for one thing, the window should be in the accusative case, not the dative case, as Karl is supposed to shoot towards it, not merely from a position next to it. For another, Wiktionary gives the example sentence, "Die Polizei hatte auf ihn geschossen," so there is certainly precedent for using auf.
a lungful of dragon, thanks for the link to the Webster's book. That's going to be so useful! I think you've read it wrong, though, and the imperative forms of schießen are schieß (singular, informal), schießt (plural), and schießen Sie (formal, as previously discussed). Unless there are multiple Karls, schießt will not be the correct choice.
I've never even seen this movie, what am I doing here.
posted by daisyk at 2:53 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
a lungful of dragon, thanks for the link to the Webster's book. That's going to be so useful! I think you've read it wrong, though, and the imperative forms of schießen are schieß (singular, informal), schießt (plural), and schießen Sie (formal, as previously discussed). Unless there are multiple Karls, schießt will not be the correct choice.
I've never even seen this movie, what am I doing here.
posted by daisyk at 2:53 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I've never even seen this movie, what am I doing here.
Welcome to the party, pal.
posted by Etrigan at 4:23 AM on December 23, 2014 [10 favorites]
Welcome to the party, pal.
posted by Etrigan at 4:23 AM on December 23, 2014 [10 favorites]
That Buzzfeed article in the OP written by someone who claims the title of "News Reporter."
posted by snottydick at 6:42 AM on December 23, 2014
posted by snottydick at 6:42 AM on December 23, 2014
Cell phone jammers are totally a thing.
They don't involve a chainsaw though.
posted by Artw at 6:59 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
They don't involve a chainsaw though.
posted by Artw at 6:59 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Also, cellphone jammers would mess with police radios, and the radio McClain uses to talk to Sgt. Powell throughout more than a third of the original "Die Hard."
posted by raysmj at 7:56 AM on December 23, 2014
posted by raysmj at 7:56 AM on December 23, 2014
The Buzzfeed piece is right. (I feel dirty saying that.)
First, because it really is the answer for people who want to show how wacky and different they are.
Second, Die Hard is a good movie but it's not a Christmas movie. There's a difference between a Christmas movie and a movie set during Christmas time, or featuring something about Christmas.
A Christmas movie must be about Christmas, not just featuring Christmas, just as a movie featuring someone at a football game doesn't make it a sports movie.
Under this strict definition, It's A Wonderful Life is not a Christmas movie, but that's the price you pay for clarity and order.
posted by Sangermaine at 8:00 AM on December 23, 2014
First, because it really is the answer for people who want to show how wacky and different they are.
Second, Die Hard is a good movie but it's not a Christmas movie. There's a difference between a Christmas movie and a movie set during Christmas time, or featuring something about Christmas.
A Christmas movie must be about Christmas, not just featuring Christmas, just as a movie featuring someone at a football game doesn't make it a sports movie.
Under this strict definition, It's A Wonderful Life is not a Christmas movie, but that's the price you pay for clarity and order.
posted by Sangermaine at 8:00 AM on December 23, 2014
Hand Gruber would probably agree with you...
...because he is The Grinch.
posted by Artw at 8:10 AM on December 23, 2014
...because he is The Grinch.
posted by Artw at 8:10 AM on December 23, 2014
I think Die Hard will be difficult to remake. That 80s action hero swagger, terrorist villians, the fantasy of it all. To reinterpret all that in the post 9-11, internet age is a big order. The writer and director has to change so much and try to keep it from unravelling. Consider the RoboCop remake.
There were plenty of things wrong with the Robocop remake but failing to modernize and add new themes wasn't one of them. There was some interesting stuff in there about identity and perception of control as well as differing (meaningless) standards about what we consider okay out of our own country versus in it. It just wasn't done well and lacked the nerve
But given that it grossed >200M on a 100M budget I suspect the studio's response to my complaint is "I'll take it under advisement."
posted by phearlez at 8:35 AM on December 23, 2014
There were plenty of things wrong with the Robocop remake but failing to modernize and add new themes wasn't one of them. There was some interesting stuff in there about identity and perception of control as well as differing (meaningless) standards about what we consider okay out of our own country versus in it. It just wasn't done well and lacked the nerve
But given that it grossed >200M on a 100M budget I suspect the studio's response to my complaint is "I'll take it under advisement."
posted by phearlez at 8:35 AM on December 23, 2014
There's a difference between a Christmas movie and a movie set during Christmas time, or featuring something about Christmas.
Schieß das Sangermaine....
Really, though, you have to get that this is an anti-Christmas movie for those of us who can't stand "Christmas movies". That's the whole point.
depending on how familiar Hans is with Karl
WHAT SORT OF NON-CANONICAL TRIPE ARE YOU PUSHING HERE?!
posted by dhartung at 10:58 PM on December 23, 2014
Schieß das Sangermaine....
Really, though, you have to get that this is an anti-Christmas movie for those of us who can't stand "Christmas movies". That's the whole point.
depending on how familiar Hans is with Karl
WHAT SORT OF NON-CANONICAL TRIPE ARE YOU PUSHING HERE?!
posted by dhartung at 10:58 PM on December 23, 2014
phearlez: "But given that it grossed >200M on a 100M budget I suspect the studio's response to my complaint is "I'll take it under advisement.""
Domestic total box office was 59 million, foreign was 184 million. That's not a lot on a 100 million production budget, really. It's not a flop, but it's hardly a hit. Not that 30% or so goes to the theater, then there's marketing and distribution costs... A movie needs to make at least twice its budget in box office to break even, this isn't much above that.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:58 AM on December 24, 2014
Domestic total box office was 59 million, foreign was 184 million. That's not a lot on a 100 million production budget, really. It's not a flop, but it's hardly a hit. Not that 30% or so goes to the theater, then there's marketing and distribution costs... A movie needs to make at least twice its budget in box office to break even, this isn't much above that.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:58 AM on December 24, 2014
"There's a difference between a Christmas movie and a movie set during Christmas time"
Don't even try to tell me Three days of the Condor is not a Christmas movie. (um, spoiler i guess)
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:52 AM on December 24, 2014
Don't even try to tell me Three days of the Condor is not a Christmas movie. (um, spoiler i guess)
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:52 AM on December 24, 2014
Die Hard? Pshaw... best Christmas movie is Trading Places.
posted by Zangal at 8:50 PM on December 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Zangal at 8:50 PM on December 30, 2014 [1 favorite]
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The best covert Xmas movies, however, are The Apartment and Eyes Wide Shut.
posted by painquale at 7:01 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]