The Sockman and Me: Encounters with a Friendly Neighborhood Fetishist
April 2, 2015 10:08 AM Subscribe
Recently, my sister forwarded me a picture taken of me in the summer of 1986. I'm standing in front of my parents' pool, holding out a fish I had caught earlier that day. I have one hand on my hip and I'm leaning to the side so as to keep the fish up. What most struck me about the picture were my socks. They cover my entire calf, ending just below my knee. Later that evening, I would sell those same socks for $10 to a guy who lived around the corner. (SLGawker)
I couldn't quit picturing Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force as the Sockman.
posted by resurrexit at 10:27 AM on April 2, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by resurrexit at 10:27 AM on April 2, 2015 [16 favorites]
Several years ago my sister-in-law was visiting New York City and some guy in Central Park approached her and offered to give her a foot rub, an offer she accepted. It wasn't until later when she told the story to a group of her relatives that it occurred to her that maybe, just maybe, he'd been a foot fetishist* rather than just some kindly dude who really liked to give women foot massages.
* not that there's anything wrong with that. Apparently his behaviour was not threatening or strange, beyond, you know, offering to give strangers foot massages in public
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:28 AM on April 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
* not that there's anything wrong with that. Apparently his behaviour was not threatening or strange, beyond, you know, offering to give strangers foot massages in public
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:28 AM on April 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sounds like a win/win, Card Cheat.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:32 AM on April 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:32 AM on April 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
If you're going to entertain a sexual fetish, best it be mostly benign...
posted by jim in austin at 10:47 AM on April 2, 2015
posted by jim in austin at 10:47 AM on April 2, 2015
Several years ago my sister-in-law was visiting New York City and some guy in Central Park approached her and offered to give her a foot rub, an offer she accepted.
If I saw this scene in a horror movie I would have left the theater because there's no way that a movie can redeem itself after such poor writing.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:48 AM on April 2, 2015 [5 favorites]
If I saw this scene in a horror movie I would have left the theater because there's no way that a movie can redeem itself after such poor writing.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:48 AM on April 2, 2015 [5 favorites]
The linked article is a very well written story. I like writing like this that's about emotional ambiguity.
posted by Nelson at 10:48 AM on April 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 10:48 AM on April 2, 2015 [10 favorites]
Sounds like a win/win, Card Cheat.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot
Tee hee
posted by en forme de poire at 10:56 AM on April 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot
Tee hee
posted by en forme de poire at 10:56 AM on April 2, 2015 [8 favorites]
Ten or maybe fifteen bucks could fund a pretty good weekend for high school me in 1996 ... in 1986 it must have felt like a fortune. Reality is just too strange to be true, sometimes.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:06 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 11:06 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
When I was in college I accidentally abandoned my roommate to the ministrations of a guy with a thing for feet. He was in our year, quite good-looking, charming, appealingly punk rock, smart...We were all hanging out. My charismatic, popular and sexually successful roommate was being charismatic, popular and sexually successful and obviously clicked with the guy. As usual when this happened, I took my chagrin, sense of inadequacy and self-hated plus some books off to the student lounge to study rather than staying around and watching the inevitable flirtation.
I made my way back in an hour or so, feeling that they would either have sealed the deal and locked the door or else gone somewhere to do something date-like, and discovered my roommate torn between distress and laughter. The guy had put the make on her, sort of, by offering a foot rub...and then had started, without asking permission or any further parlay, sucking on her toes. She'd been very startled, asked him to stop and he'd stopped and then left, so it wasn't especially dire, but it had been pretty uncomfortable. "Why did you leave me alone with him!?!?" she said. It was at this point that I realized that being charismatic, popular and sexually successful was not quite all that I'd assumed it to be.
Strangely, we all became pretty good friends later.
I add, just so that no one who is into feet feels bad, that the issue was not the Thing With The Toes; it was the abrupt transition and lack of consent, plus the surprise factor.
posted by Frowner at 11:09 AM on April 2, 2015 [13 favorites]
I made my way back in an hour or so, feeling that they would either have sealed the deal and locked the door or else gone somewhere to do something date-like, and discovered my roommate torn between distress and laughter. The guy had put the make on her, sort of, by offering a foot rub...and then had started, without asking permission or any further parlay, sucking on her toes. She'd been very startled, asked him to stop and he'd stopped and then left, so it wasn't especially dire, but it had been pretty uncomfortable. "Why did you leave me alone with him!?!?" she said. It was at this point that I realized that being charismatic, popular and sexually successful was not quite all that I'd assumed it to be.
Strangely, we all became pretty good friends later.
I add, just so that no one who is into feet feels bad, that the issue was not the Thing With The Toes; it was the abrupt transition and lack of consent, plus the surprise factor.
posted by Frowner at 11:09 AM on April 2, 2015 [13 favorites]
And yet experience tells us that these stories often end much more sinisterly.
Does it? That seems like a very interesting and difficult set of data to come up with: the percentage of "these sorts" of interactions (and I'm happy to not have to define that set, thank you very much) which end in, let me say, acute tragedy as opposed to a more drawn-out, hazy sadness.
But, sweet article. Thanks for posting.
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:16 AM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
Does it? That seems like a very interesting and difficult set of data to come up with: the percentage of "these sorts" of interactions (and I'm happy to not have to define that set, thank you very much) which end in, let me say, acute tragedy as opposed to a more drawn-out, hazy sadness.
But, sweet article. Thanks for posting.
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:16 AM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's interesting to me that foot fetishes have come to occupy this weird space where they're still kind of treated as being deviant, but in a way that seems to be considered mostly non-threatening, unlike other fetishes. It hits some sort of odd sweet spot of being common enough that most people are aware of it and being mostly divorced from what non-fetishists view as sexual. Furries are the only other common fetish I can think of that have achieved anything close, largely because a strong community (of both people who were sexually or non-sexually into fur play) developed there, and even furries are still stigmatized in a way that foot fetishists aren't.
posted by kagredon at 11:19 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by kagredon at 11:19 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
And yet experience tells us that these stories often end much more sinisterly.
Does it?
Well, if you're Tony Rockyhorror...
posted by Gelatin at 11:20 AM on April 2, 2015 [9 favorites]
Does it?
Well, if you're Tony Rockyhorror...
posted by Gelatin at 11:20 AM on April 2, 2015 [9 favorites]
Well, if you're Tony Rockyhorror...
Well now who has egg on their face? (It's me)
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:25 AM on April 2, 2015
Well now who has egg on their face? (It's me)
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:25 AM on April 2, 2015
> If I saw this scene in a horror movie I would have left the theater because there's no way that a movie can redeem itself after such poor writing.
I have a couple of friends with an aversion to feet who would consider that a scene in a horror movie.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:28 AM on April 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have a couple of friends with an aversion to feet who would consider that a scene in a horror movie.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:28 AM on April 2, 2015 [4 favorites]
Introducing Etish: Uber for Fetishes.
You can sell your socks! People can buy your socks!
It's called Craigslist. At least for men selling socks, used underwear, etc to other men.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:35 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
You can sell your socks! People can buy your socks!
It's called Craigslist. At least for men selling socks, used underwear, etc to other men.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:35 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
An interesting story, and I'm not sure how to feel about the guy. On one hand, it seems a harmless, straightforward fetish. On the other hand, secretly meeting kids behind the bushes and stuffing socks down his shorts is getting very, very close to not harmless.
If it was just a foot fetish or sock fetish, that'd be one thing, but this sounded like some kind of redirected pedophilia he was nursing. That's something that requires attention and treatment, because the potential outcomes are very bad indeed.
But at least in this case we can be happy things turned out relatively happily for everyone involved.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:51 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
If it was just a foot fetish or sock fetish, that'd be one thing, but this sounded like some kind of redirected pedophilia he was nursing. That's something that requires attention and treatment, because the potential outcomes are very bad indeed.
But at least in this case we can be happy things turned out relatively happily for everyone involved.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:51 AM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Yeah, man. I made ten bucks the other night. I swear. Freddy and Jason and those guys do it all the time."Freddy and Jason? Hm. I must've missed those sequels.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:13 PM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
I have a couple of friends with an aversion to feet who would consider that a scene in a horror movie.
Yeah, I have whatever the word is for a mild opposite of a foot fetish, so the whole thing is really inexplicable to me. A friend used to enjoy torturing me by asking me to pick up her shoes nd hand them to her! I would do it, but I'd be visibly squeamish and she would laugh and laugh.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 12:13 PM on April 2, 2015
Yeah, I have whatever the word is for a mild opposite of a foot fetish, so the whole thing is really inexplicable to me. A friend used to enjoy torturing me by asking me to pick up her shoes nd hand them to her! I would do it, but I'd be visibly squeamish and she would laugh and laugh.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 12:13 PM on April 2, 2015
Foot fetishists can be totally awesome to date if you spend a lot of your day on your feet, though. Foot massages anytime!
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:16 PM on April 2, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:16 PM on April 2, 2015
It was a nicer read than I've had on the interwebs in quite some time. Realized good writing has gotten buzzfed and qzed.
posted by infini at 12:53 PM on April 2, 2015
posted by infini at 12:53 PM on April 2, 2015
Several years ago my sister-in-law was visiting New York City and some guy in Central Park approached her and offered to give her a foot rub, an offer she accepted.
If I saw this scene in a horror movie I would have left the theater because there's no way that a movie can redeem itself after such poor writing.
I think it was cut from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for being a little too "on the nose."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:38 PM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
If I saw this scene in a horror movie I would have left the theater because there's no way that a movie can redeem itself after such poor writing.
I think it was cut from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for being a little too "on the nose."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:38 PM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm a stripper and encounter fetishes on occasion. I will always remember my first encounter with a foot fetish.
The guy was in his late 20s but seemed younger with his small stature, thin frame and glasses. He seemed normal enough.
Once we were in the lap dance area, he said, "So I have one thing that I like. Can I see your foot?"
"Of course you can!" I displayed my foot for him.
"You have nice arches," he said. I didn't know a foot could have nice arches, but I thanked him graciously anyway. Then he wanted to take off the shoe. Okay.
Side note: I freaking HATE when customers request that I take off my shoes. My feet are sweaty and gross from dancing for hours, not to mention the grossness asking me to put my bare feet on the floor of a strip club.
So as house music reverberates through the club, I am standing there awkwardly, balancing on one leg with the other outstretched. The young man is sitting, holding my foot in his hands, examining it from various angles, and all of this is a little odd but just fine, and then HOLY CRAP A STRANGER IS LICKING MY FOOT, HE IS LICKING MY SWEATY STRIPPER FOOT.
During this extended licking session, a dancer and customer passed by me on their way to do a lap dance. Somewhere in the vast chasms of the Internet, a dude is posting on a message board about the time he went to get a lap dance and saw a shocked stripper balancing on one leg while a young man licked her foot.
After the "lap dance" is finished and the young man has left the lap dance area, I am hanging around near the cashier. A fellow dancer—let's call her Raindrop—stops by to chat with me. I am still in shock. I told her that I just had my first foot guy.
Raindrop immediately perks up. "Oh my god, where?"
"Um, I don't know. He was sitting at the bar before the dance, maybe he went back?"
She darts out of the lap dance area. I am baffled. She returns maybe forty seconds later with a customer in tow. As the two walk by on their way to a lap dance, she signals to me a question with the slight raise of her chin: Is this the foot guy?
I give a slight, almost-imperceptible shake of the head. Raindrop's shoulders drop very slightly, dejected.
At the end of the night, in the crowded dressing room, the dancers are getting ready to leave. Another dancer said to me, "Hey [Peppermint Snowflake], I got the foot guy after you."
"Damn it!" said Raindrop.
I said, "OH MY GOD, HE LICKED MY FOOT, MY SWEATY STRIPPER FOOT, HE LICKED IT."
"I liked it," the other dancer said. "I just pretended like I was getting a wonky pedicure."
I shook my head. This job is so weird. These girls are so weird. But I love this job and I love these girls. I guess I'm weird too.
At first I found fetishes jarring and weird but they are starting to grow on me, as day-to-day strip club experiences go. Most of the fetish customers I have encountered are polite and happy to pay for me for my time. For that, I will gladly work with all sorts of weirdness.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 3:24 PM on April 2, 2015 [17 favorites]
The guy was in his late 20s but seemed younger with his small stature, thin frame and glasses. He seemed normal enough.
Once we were in the lap dance area, he said, "So I have one thing that I like. Can I see your foot?"
"Of course you can!" I displayed my foot for him.
"You have nice arches," he said. I didn't know a foot could have nice arches, but I thanked him graciously anyway. Then he wanted to take off the shoe. Okay.
Side note: I freaking HATE when customers request that I take off my shoes. My feet are sweaty and gross from dancing for hours, not to mention the grossness asking me to put my bare feet on the floor of a strip club.
So as house music reverberates through the club, I am standing there awkwardly, balancing on one leg with the other outstretched. The young man is sitting, holding my foot in his hands, examining it from various angles, and all of this is a little odd but just fine, and then HOLY CRAP A STRANGER IS LICKING MY FOOT, HE IS LICKING MY SWEATY STRIPPER FOOT.
During this extended licking session, a dancer and customer passed by me on their way to do a lap dance. Somewhere in the vast chasms of the Internet, a dude is posting on a message board about the time he went to get a lap dance and saw a shocked stripper balancing on one leg while a young man licked her foot.
After the "lap dance" is finished and the young man has left the lap dance area, I am hanging around near the cashier. A fellow dancer—let's call her Raindrop—stops by to chat with me. I am still in shock. I told her that I just had my first foot guy.
Raindrop immediately perks up. "Oh my god, where?"
"Um, I don't know. He was sitting at the bar before the dance, maybe he went back?"
She darts out of the lap dance area. I am baffled. She returns maybe forty seconds later with a customer in tow. As the two walk by on their way to a lap dance, she signals to me a question with the slight raise of her chin: Is this the foot guy?
I give a slight, almost-imperceptible shake of the head. Raindrop's shoulders drop very slightly, dejected.
At the end of the night, in the crowded dressing room, the dancers are getting ready to leave. Another dancer said to me, "Hey [Peppermint Snowflake], I got the foot guy after you."
"Damn it!" said Raindrop.
I said, "OH MY GOD, HE LICKED MY FOOT, MY SWEATY STRIPPER FOOT, HE LICKED IT."
"I liked it," the other dancer said. "I just pretended like I was getting a wonky pedicure."
I shook my head. This job is so weird. These girls are so weird. But I love this job and I love these girls. I guess I'm weird too.
At first I found fetishes jarring and weird but they are starting to grow on me, as day-to-day strip club experiences go. Most of the fetish customers I have encountered are polite and happy to pay for me for my time. For that, I will gladly work with all sorts of weirdness.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 3:24 PM on April 2, 2015 [17 favorites]
The guy who wrote this article should write a book, I'd read it.
Peppermint Snowflake, you should too!!
posted by ghostbikes at 4:07 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
Peppermint Snowflake, you should too!!
posted by ghostbikes at 4:07 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
This entire thing seems like a subplot that would be in a modern version of an 80s teen movie. Like the kids are alright but more 80s style. Some sort of darker modern goonies type thing.
The writing is really quite good, and the story is just structured perfectly. I love the ambiguity of it. It reminds me way too much of doing sketchy shit when i was a young teenager. That one hobo you know you can get beer from, but he always wants to follow you and your friends to the park to drink with you and is almost impossible to ditch... but you know he's a sure fire thing and wont steal your money if you find him. The first time me and my friends bought weed, and a similarly weird/sketchy older guy sold it to us under similar next-to-a-bush circumstances in one of those small square styrofoam takeout containers, like you'd get salad in with teriyaki.
The money thing really resonates too. I remember me and my friend getting maybe $10-15 and stretching it to get the cheapo all you can play passes on a certain day at the arcade, and spending the leftovers on mcdonalds and bus fare.(which was at the time, $1 for two kids). We did this all through high school even.
This is a million times more compelling though. It's simultaneously more innocent and more sinister. It's like something that would happen in the opposite show of bates motel.
posted by emptythought at 4:42 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
The writing is really quite good, and the story is just structured perfectly. I love the ambiguity of it. It reminds me way too much of doing sketchy shit when i was a young teenager. That one hobo you know you can get beer from, but he always wants to follow you and your friends to the park to drink with you and is almost impossible to ditch... but you know he's a sure fire thing and wont steal your money if you find him. The first time me and my friends bought weed, and a similarly weird/sketchy older guy sold it to us under similar next-to-a-bush circumstances in one of those small square styrofoam takeout containers, like you'd get salad in with teriyaki.
The money thing really resonates too. I remember me and my friend getting maybe $10-15 and stretching it to get the cheapo all you can play passes on a certain day at the arcade, and spending the leftovers on mcdonalds and bus fare.(which was at the time, $1 for two kids). We did this all through high school even.
This is a million times more compelling though. It's simultaneously more innocent and more sinister. It's like something that would happen in the opposite show of bates motel.
posted by emptythought at 4:42 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
This reminded my of the slate Prudie question about a son's fetish with latex gloves.
The article implies that the son is obsessed with gloves, not hands, so I guess it's possible that the sockman really was only interested in socks.
posted by HappyEngineer at 5:17 PM on April 2, 2015
The article implies that the son is obsessed with gloves, not hands, so I guess it's possible that the sockman really was only interested in socks.
posted by HappyEngineer at 5:17 PM on April 2, 2015
I also liked the ambiguity.
I liked the slice of life nature of it.
I liked the way it successfully conjured up a simpler, more innocent time and place and a younger person who wasn't stupidly trusting but also saw nothing really wrong with selling his socks to this guy.
There is a lot I like about the story. We seem too hung up these days on the idea that we can and should know all the answers.
I think the world could use more pieces like this one.
posted by Michele in California at 5:25 PM on April 2, 2015
I liked the slice of life nature of it.
I liked the way it successfully conjured up a simpler, more innocent time and place and a younger person who wasn't stupidly trusting but also saw nothing really wrong with selling his socks to this guy.
There is a lot I like about the story. We seem too hung up these days on the idea that we can and should know all the answers.
I think the world could use more pieces like this one.
posted by Michele in California at 5:25 PM on April 2, 2015
I don't know, man. Normally I'm very loosey-goosey about weird sex stuff. I got my own weird kinks, so I try not to judge anybody for their weird kinks so long as nobody's getting hurt. If this guy was drawing weird cartoons about kids' feet, or he was downloading weird stories about kids' feet, I would say he was just handling his fetish as best he could, and I wouldn't judge him harshly for it. But interacting with kids like that, meeting them in the shadows to haggle over their socks, explaining to them where your fetish comes from... that seems like crossing a line. Even if the kids ultimately weren't traumatized, it's still meeting up with kids for the purposes of gratifying yourself sexually.
So far as we know, this guy never actually molested anybody. But that's only so far as we know. If I was the author's parent, and I heard about what this guy was doing, I think I'd call the cops. Maybe I'd ruin the life of a man who was actually harmless, and if so that would be sad. But the alternative would be to live with the knowledge that there was a pedophile on my block, one who was paying kids for their damn socks. You don't buy kids' socks, man. God damn.
(OK, maybe this next part is a big pile of self-indulgent TMI, but what the hell. All this talk of foot kinks has stirred up some strange memories. Nobody says you gotta read it.)
I have a complicated history with feet. When I was a kid, a middle aged, sort-of friend of the family started shrimping my feet. That was all he did, just feet stuff, but it was molest-y and it betrayed my trust and messed me up a little. So F that guy.
I grew up with a lot of kinks, but I'm weirdly indifferent to feet. You'd think I'd be way into feet, or I'd hate feet, or I'd have some sort of very strong opinions about feet, but I just don't. Feet are like elbows: functional, kind of ugly-cute at best. I like to tickle my girlfriend's feet sometimes because she kicks and whines and jumps a mile, but that's as foot-y as I get. Given how many of my kinks have clear roots in trauma from my childhood, it's kind of a miracle that I don't give a shit about feet!
But I did experience one other weird foot thing, years ago. I was a guest on a crazy local radio show. I was in full drag, it was 3 AM. Good times. The host was quite open about his foot fetish, and during the show I let him shrimp my feet. I wish I could say it completed some kind of circle and made me feel like I was reclaiming the sexual autonomy of my feet, or some new age-y bullshit like that. But no. Mostly I just kind of watched him with wide eyes and giggled a lot. It didn't turn me on, but that was fine. I was glad to help a brother out.
I've been the trembling fetishist, and I've been the object of the trembling fetishist's fascination. Both have their points, but I'd say object is generally better. It's better to sell the socks than to buy them.
What a very strange Metafilter comment this has turned out to be.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:03 PM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
So far as we know, this guy never actually molested anybody. But that's only so far as we know. If I was the author's parent, and I heard about what this guy was doing, I think I'd call the cops. Maybe I'd ruin the life of a man who was actually harmless, and if so that would be sad. But the alternative would be to live with the knowledge that there was a pedophile on my block, one who was paying kids for their damn socks. You don't buy kids' socks, man. God damn.
(OK, maybe this next part is a big pile of self-indulgent TMI, but what the hell. All this talk of foot kinks has stirred up some strange memories. Nobody says you gotta read it.)
I have a complicated history with feet. When I was a kid, a middle aged, sort-of friend of the family started shrimping my feet. That was all he did, just feet stuff, but it was molest-y and it betrayed my trust and messed me up a little. So F that guy.
I grew up with a lot of kinks, but I'm weirdly indifferent to feet. You'd think I'd be way into feet, or I'd hate feet, or I'd have some sort of very strong opinions about feet, but I just don't. Feet are like elbows: functional, kind of ugly-cute at best. I like to tickle my girlfriend's feet sometimes because she kicks and whines and jumps a mile, but that's as foot-y as I get. Given how many of my kinks have clear roots in trauma from my childhood, it's kind of a miracle that I don't give a shit about feet!
But I did experience one other weird foot thing, years ago. I was a guest on a crazy local radio show. I was in full drag, it was 3 AM. Good times. The host was quite open about his foot fetish, and during the show I let him shrimp my feet. I wish I could say it completed some kind of circle and made me feel like I was reclaiming the sexual autonomy of my feet, or some new age-y bullshit like that. But no. Mostly I just kind of watched him with wide eyes and giggled a lot. It didn't turn me on, but that was fine. I was glad to help a brother out.
I've been the trembling fetishist, and I've been the object of the trembling fetishist's fascination. Both have their points, but I'd say object is generally better. It's better to sell the socks than to buy them.
What a very strange Metafilter comment this has turned out to be.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 6:03 PM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: It's better to sell the socks than to buy them.
posted by Michele in California at 6:19 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Michele in California at 6:19 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
So, you mean toe sucking, Ursula Hitler? I totally love that term comes from John Waters.
posted by annsunny at 7:47 PM on April 2, 2015
posted by annsunny at 7:47 PM on April 2, 2015
Thanks, ghostbikes! Maybe someday I will, ha.
Oh, I should also mention the leg fetish guy. He is noteworthy because he told me straight out, "I have a leg fetish." Most people are nervous to say aloud that they have a fetish, even to a stripper. I think this is the only time I have ever heard a customer use the word.
Instead, the customer will usually say that he "likes [x]." For instance, they say, "I like legs." I hear this and think, No, *I* like legs. You feel something entirely different for legs.
This guy asked if I had any thigh-high nylons. I didn't. (Some dancers wear them, but I don't because they interfere with my pole tricks onstage. However, I am happy to wear them during a lap dance.) He produced a pair of thigh-highs from his jacket pocket, nude-colored with a lacy top, still in the original packaging. Cool. I put them on.
During the dance, he wanted me to step on my chest with his heel and press as hard as I could. I was super nervous about this. I don't know a ton about physics, but I feel like there is only so much pressure you can put on a human being's chest with a stiletto heel before you put the heel through his damn chest. But luckily I didn't draw any blood, and he seemed into it.
After about ten minutes straight of pressing on his chest with my right heel, I offered to switch to the left heel. He asked if my right leg was tired. I said no, I was just thinking about switching it up.
But he wanted me to stick with the right heel. "I like the right leg better."
My coworkers and I spent a good two songs in the dressing room staring at my legs from various angles, trying to figure out what made the right one better. We have no insight there.
But I got ~$80 and a pair of thigh-highs, so it's all good.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 7:52 PM on April 2, 2015 [6 favorites]
Oh, I should also mention the leg fetish guy. He is noteworthy because he told me straight out, "I have a leg fetish." Most people are nervous to say aloud that they have a fetish, even to a stripper. I think this is the only time I have ever heard a customer use the word.
Instead, the customer will usually say that he "likes [x]." For instance, they say, "I like legs." I hear this and think, No, *I* like legs. You feel something entirely different for legs.
This guy asked if I had any thigh-high nylons. I didn't. (Some dancers wear them, but I don't because they interfere with my pole tricks onstage. However, I am happy to wear them during a lap dance.) He produced a pair of thigh-highs from his jacket pocket, nude-colored with a lacy top, still in the original packaging. Cool. I put them on.
During the dance, he wanted me to step on my chest with his heel and press as hard as I could. I was super nervous about this. I don't know a ton about physics, but I feel like there is only so much pressure you can put on a human being's chest with a stiletto heel before you put the heel through his damn chest. But luckily I didn't draw any blood, and he seemed into it.
After about ten minutes straight of pressing on his chest with my right heel, I offered to switch to the left heel. He asked if my right leg was tired. I said no, I was just thinking about switching it up.
But he wanted me to stick with the right heel. "I like the right leg better."
My coworkers and I spent a good two songs in the dressing room staring at my legs from various angles, trying to figure out what made the right one better. We have no insight there.
But I got ~$80 and a pair of thigh-highs, so it's all good.
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 7:52 PM on April 2, 2015 [6 favorites]
I share the puzzlement about foot fetishists, but I am sure they find my tastes off-putting as well.
The guy in the story seemed harmless, but right on the edge of being seriously not ok. (And, if you read to the end, the author is definitely aware of that tension.)
posted by Dip Flash at 8:30 PM on April 2, 2015
The guy in the story seemed harmless, but right on the edge of being seriously not ok. (And, if you read to the end, the author is definitely aware of that tension.)
posted by Dip Flash at 8:30 PM on April 2, 2015
This spoke to me about turning that corner where something that you, as a kid, think is totally benign (socks??!!), but then as you grow up you begin to see for its totally skeevy reality. Maybe the turning point between innocence and learning something that starts to make you jaded.
posted by bendy at 9:23 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by bendy at 9:23 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yep, annsunny. I was under the impression that the term was fairly widespread, but maybe it's more obscure than I thought. It's such an appetizing image, like the toes are little shrimps.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 10:30 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 10:30 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
It may be a common term, I just didn't know it! It's good to learn something new everyday.
posted by annsunny at 10:19 AM on April 3, 2015
posted by annsunny at 10:19 AM on April 3, 2015
MetaFilter: shrimping your feet.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:01 PM on April 3, 2015
posted by five fresh fish at 6:01 PM on April 3, 2015
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You can sell your socks! People can buy your socks! There's GPS! Nobody has to have health insurance!
posted by oceanjesse at 10:13 AM on April 2, 2015 [13 favorites]