Wait for it....
May 5, 2015 3:16 PM Subscribe
The Ribbon Worm has a Branching Proboscis. [slyt | via | nightmare fuel]
The "via" has more information on the specifics of this unusual creature.
The "via" has more information on the specifics of this unusual creature.
TETSUOOOOO!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:30 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:30 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
...eep.
posted by sarcasticah at 3:30 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by sarcasticah at 3:30 PM on May 5, 2015
Maybe it would look less gross underwater, in its natural environment.
posted by polymodus at 3:31 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by polymodus at 3:31 PM on May 5, 2015
fine, so I'm not a great kisser, don't rub it in like this.
posted by boo_radley at 3:32 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 3:32 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
I don't know what possessed me - but this landed in my timeline yesterday and I actually retweeted it... it's like, once you've experienced it you need to inflict the horror on others.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
The worm is feeling out what it's sitting on, trying to find out if it can eat the hand.
So... Can it?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
So... Can it?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
"This new nemertean has also a proboscis which is retractile within a proboscis sheath, but the proboscis is branched. The branching is of the dichotomous type. During eversion, which takes place almost explosively, the short main trunk. first appears, then this dividess and the finer and filter branches appear, but since each one of these is the result of an evagination the effect is almost indescribable. It is as if a large number of lively, wriggling, minunte worms had been shot out."
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:36 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:36 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
So... Can it?
I dunno about you, but that thing, accompanied by my hand, would have been pressed up against a stove burner so fast it wouldn't have had time to make the call.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:38 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
I dunno about you, but that thing, accompanied by my hand, would have been pressed up against a stove burner so fast it wouldn't have had time to make the call.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:38 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Or, as Calvin has it, "That's the problem with nature. There's always something stinging you or oozing on you."
posted by Sing Or Swim at 3:39 PM on May 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 3:39 PM on May 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
I've seen enough "I've seen enough hentai..." comments to speculate where this is going.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:43 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:43 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
lol, that worm looks like a GAAAAHHHHH FUCK
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:44 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:44 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
get it off get it off get it off get it off
posted by Countess Elena at 3:45 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 3:45 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Nature 1, Me 0.
You win that round, nature.
posted by dazed_one at 3:49 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
You win that round, nature.
posted by dazed_one at 3:49 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately the best possible comment has already been posted on YouTube:
Ria Darkwing 9 hours ago
A wild nope worm video appeared!
Nope worm used wtf is that string shot!
It's super effective!
Everyone is disgusted and creeped out!
Everyone used that's enough internet for today!
posted by pullayup at 3:49 PM on May 5, 2015 [17 favorites]
Ria Darkwing 9 hours ago
A wild nope worm video appeared!
Nope worm used wtf is that string shot!
It's super effective!
Everyone is disgusted and creeped out!
Everyone used that's enough internet for today!
posted by pullayup at 3:49 PM on May 5, 2015 [17 favorites]
I do not understand how he wasn't flinging his hand away at the speed of sound. That is one fortunate worm not to have found itself as a splotch on the wall.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:50 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:50 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Can it burrow under human skin? If not, it's weird but tolerable. If so, getitoffgetitoffgetitoff.
posted by Rangi at 3:53 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by Rangi at 3:53 PM on May 5, 2015
killitwithfirekillitwithfiresweetcleansingdeliciousfirekillitkillitnow
posted by Ratio at 3:56 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Ratio at 3:56 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, so this is what the Tenth Angel was based on.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 4:02 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by I-Write-Essays at 4:02 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Although most are less than 20 centimetres (7.9 in) long, one specimen has been estimated at 54 metres (177 ft), which would make it the longest animal ever found.
The rest of that article is... interesting.
posted by Ratio at 4:05 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
The rest of that article is... interesting.
posted by Ratio at 4:05 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Another stunning example of Malignant Design.
posted by um at 4:11 PM on May 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by um at 4:11 PM on May 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Great, now you're worm-married.
posted by mittens at 5:00 PM on May 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by mittens at 5:00 PM on May 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
See, the great thing is: every time I start to get really depressed about how we're destroying this planet, something like this comes along. Some creature.
Burn! All must burn! It is our holy duty to set this world ablaze, that the Last may gaze out upon the cinders, the burning skies, and think "this is a Right Thing which we have done!" before being themselves devoured by Holy Fire.
Cobalt-sixty and thy staff, they comfort me. For lo, I am at peace with the flames.
posted by aramaic at 5:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Burn! All must burn! It is our holy duty to set this world ablaze, that the Last may gaze out upon the cinders, the burning skies, and think "this is a Right Thing which we have done!" before being themselves devoured by Holy Fire.
Cobalt-sixty and thy staff, they comfort me. For lo, I am at peace with the flames.
posted by aramaic at 5:35 PM on May 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
zalgo
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 5:46 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 5:46 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
*pops over on a break from reading rough drafts*
Hey, I remember my mom's lessons about worms being friendly! This video surely poses no cause for concern.
*clicks video*
OK, that worm is pretty unattractive, but I don't WAIT WHAT NO THIS IS WORSE THAN A THOUSAND COMMA SPLICES SHRIEKING AT ME AMIDST A LEGION OF INDEFINITE ANTECEDENTS
*rushes back to rough drafts*
posted by thomas j wise at 5:59 PM on May 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Hey, I remember my mom's lessons about worms being friendly! This video surely poses no cause for concern.
*clicks video*
OK, that worm is pretty unattractive, but I don't WAIT WHAT NO THIS IS WORSE THAN A THOUSAND COMMA SPLICES SHRIEKING AT ME AMIDST A LEGION OF INDEFINITE ANTECEDENTS
*rushes back to rough drafts*
posted by thomas j wise at 5:59 PM on May 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
thomas j wise, one of those worms will be by office hours tomorrow begging for extra credit.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:01 PM on May 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:01 PM on May 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is one of the less commonly acknowledged reasons humans developed nuclear weapons.
posted by mygoditsbob at 6:06 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mygoditsbob at 6:06 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
The highest goal of any sentient lifeform is to exterminate all life.
posted by aramaic at 6:18 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by aramaic at 6:18 PM on May 5, 2015
Cute black ribbon worm in its natural environment
Cute but gross ribbon worm with a different kind of mouth
Squeeeee
posted by polymodus at 6:18 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Cute but gross ribbon worm with a different kind of mouth
Squeeeee
posted by polymodus at 6:18 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Memory worm. Mostly harmless.
posted by vrakatar at 6:38 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by vrakatar at 6:38 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
From the wikipedia article Ratio links to above:
"Near San Francisco the nemertean Carcinonemertes errans has consumed about 55% of the total egg production of its host, the Dungeness crab Metacarcinus magister. C. errans is considered a significant factor in the collapse of the dungeness crab fishery.[21] Other coastal nemerteans have devastated clam beds.[4]"
Okay now I'm mad.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:51 PM on May 5, 2015
"Near San Francisco the nemertean Carcinonemertes errans has consumed about 55% of the total egg production of its host, the Dungeness crab Metacarcinus magister. C. errans is considered a significant factor in the collapse of the dungeness crab fishery.[21] Other coastal nemerteans have devastated clam beds.[4]"
Okay now I'm mad.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:51 PM on May 5, 2015
Great, now you're worm-married.
Be my Smizmar?
posted by sneebler at 7:05 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Be my Smizmar?
posted by sneebler at 7:05 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Rate My Dick Pic gives this a 3/10.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:08 PM on May 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 7:08 PM on May 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
I always vomit my lungs out to greet newcomers.
posted by benzenedream at 7:20 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by benzenedream at 7:20 PM on May 5, 2015
It's really weird that this is called "evagination"; it's not the metaphor I'd have reached for at all.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:46 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:46 PM on May 5, 2015
jeez you are all so dramatic. I'd be honored to carry this cute little guy around in my ear canallghhhhuuuoohhhffcxcxwormismasternow
posted by um at 8:00 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by um at 8:00 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'll bet that they taste yummy when served on a still-warm flour tortilla at 9:35 pm on a random street in LA. With cilantro.
posted by rankfreudlite at 8:03 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by rankfreudlite at 8:03 PM on May 5, 2015
polymodus's second link is also horrible.
posted by tickingclock at 8:07 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by tickingclock at 8:07 PM on May 5, 2015
This is how Mr. Mind controls his hosts.
posted by benzenedream at 8:25 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by benzenedream at 8:25 PM on May 5, 2015
S̜͈̙̻͖̪̀ͣ̃̈ͮ͟Ų͈̥͓ͭ̌ͯͨB̧̭̻͔̙͕̝̻̭͗̈̌̀̈́͘M̝ͭ̇͗͐ͅI͍̣͎͖̗ͧͦ̽͂̏ͨ͐͘͠͞T̶̗̼̅̏̊̿̄̌ͦ̚ ̲͙͓̳̪͚̱ͫ̿Ṱ̻̤͎͑̉Ō̡̦̝̩̳̦̈͂ͫ̎̈́ͫ̀ ͍͖̞̼̘͕ͣ̃̌͛̈ͣ͐̓T̷͇͉̺͉̭͙̹ͮ̿̅̀H̶̨̪̱͍̦ͧͨͪͭ̈E͓̫̘̟̼ͩ̏͝͠ ͙̲̼̦̍̎͐̿R̨͙̥͈̺ͫ̒͌̒ͩ̈̾̾͗I̡̻͖͚͌̋ͦͬ̏ͥBͤ҉̱͉̝͙̪̗̬͉̕͟B̴̹͕̮̥̱̪͈̝̞͐͊O̴͔̥̠͍͍͗̓N̷̥͇̯̘͈̲̤͚͋̏̐̿̇ͮ͘͢ ͕̙̫̰̲̙̜̻̎̀ͦ̇ͧ̈́͋͗̕͠W̝̗͕̦̲͊̃ͦ̌̆O̅ͧͯ̉̌ͫ͏̴͎̰̪̖͢R̵͇̹͕͎̞̘̣̥ͨͯ̾̈͑̑̊̒M̵͕͔͔̥̳̻͆ͨ͘ ͚̫̫̰̘̮͙̇ͪ̎Ī̸̧̠̌̃͑ͥͬ̓̌T̘̬̻̫͓̔̏͆͐̀̀ ̨̭̲̙̥̞̠̌ͪ͋ͪ͡W̶̛̪̜̲͕̣ͮ͗͆̎ͥ̎ͭ̚͠I͙̘̗͓̘͈̝̖̿ͭ̐̚͠L̵̩̗̠̹͖͆ͮͭL͍̙͓̮͕̻͓̜̐̔̓̐ͦ͡ ̨̧̰͓̥̳̦͇̞̎̀̊͊̽̂͡N̙͖̱̞̬̾ͯ̊͛̆̕Ò̶̀̏̽̌̈͆ͬ̂҉̨̖̮͙͎̳̫̙͖T͔̮̺̮͙̅̋̕ ̸̪̩̳̰͚̼̩̐ͩ̉ͧ̔ͤ̀H̟̞̝͖̘̰̘͊̾͂̂͂̈̏̈A̼͔̭̽ͭ̐̄̔ͬR̡̛̮̹̍͊̎͒ͬ̀M͔̞ͨ̊̉̃̾̀͆͛ ̣̺̦̤͖̉̔͡Ȳ̴̧͍̠̣̞̣͇̹̭̾̽́͌̉̅̎͆O̲͚̬̠̦̽̓̓̔Ṵ̤̘̻̳̖̋̄ͭͪ̽́̚͡ͅ
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:42 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:42 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's really weird that this is called "evagination"; it's not the metaphor I'd have reached for at all.
Well, it's not that metaphor, is the thing. If it's a Latin name for part of the female anatomy, and it's not uterus, it means something else: Labia? Lips. Cervix? Neck. Fornix? Arch. Fimbria? Fringe. Florimbnix? Floorwax. Vagina? Sheath. This thing's horror-spurters are, like, totally tubular. Like sheaths. To evaginate is to turn said sheaths inside-out. The irony is that the word is cromulently descriptive of the standard-issue human male anatomy (offer may not be available on special models, exchanged merchandise, or voided warranties; some restrictions may apply) and, one would hope, pretty much never applicable to the similarly-named piece of intracisladyjunk.
<sparklerainbow>**** * E V A G I * N * * A * T I O N ! * ****</sparklerainbow>
posted by Sys Rq at 8:53 PM on May 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
Well, it's not that metaphor, is the thing. If it's a Latin name for part of the female anatomy, and it's not uterus, it means something else: Labia? Lips. Cervix? Neck. Fornix? Arch. Fimbria? Fringe. Florimbnix? Floorwax. Vagina? Sheath. This thing's horror-spurters are, like, totally tubular. Like sheaths. To evaginate is to turn said sheaths inside-out. The irony is that the word is cromulently descriptive of the standard-issue human male anatomy (offer may not be available on special models, exchanged merchandise, or voided warranties; some restrictions may apply) and, one would hope, pretty much never applicable to the similarly-named piece of intracisladyjunk.
<sparklerainbow>**** * E V A G I * N * * A * T I O N ! * ****</sparklerainbow>
posted by Sys Rq at 8:53 PM on May 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
I actually have encountered the kind of ribbon worm from polymodus's second link in the wild, at South Lido Beach in Sarasota, Florida. I was out with some friends filming a video and we saw it hanging out in the sand. It was a sort of yellow beige color and looked very dried out. We thought it was an ocean vegetable of some sort until it spontaneously vomited its entire innards out and then pulled itself along the shore with them. It made for a great special effect in the video.
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 8:57 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 8:57 PM on May 5, 2015
Florimbnix? Floorwax.
And a dessert topping.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
And a dessert topping.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:28 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Just reading the comments is making my face itchy. So, I guess I'm in the NOPE camp.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:33 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:33 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
S̜͈̙̻͖̪̀ͣ̃̈ͮ͟Ų͈̥͓ͭ̌ͯͨB̧̭̻͔̙͕̝̻̭͗̈̌̀̈́͘M̝ͭ̇͗͐ͅI͍̣͎͖̗ͧͦ̽͂̏ͨ͐͘͠͞T̶̗̼̅̏̊̿̄̌ͦ̚ ̲͙͓̳̪͚̱ͫ̿Ṱ̻̤͎͑̉Ō̡̦̝̩̳̦̈͂ͫ̎̈́ͫ̀ ͍͖̞̼̘͕ͣ̃̌͛̈ͣ͐̓T̷͇͉̺͉̭͙̹ͮ̿̅̀H̶̨̪̱͍̦ͧͨͪͭ̈E͓̫̘̟̼ͩ̏͝͠ ͙̲̼̦̍̎͐̿R̨͙̥͈̺ͫ̒͌̒ͩ̈̾̾͗I̡̻͖͚͌̋ͦͬ̏ͥBͤ҉̱͉̝͙̪̗̬͉̕͟B̴̹͕̮̥̱̪͈̝̞͐͊O̴͔̥̠͍͍͗̓N̷̥͇̯̘͈̲̤͚͋̏̐̿̇ͮ͘͢ ͕̙̫̰̲̙̜̻̎̀ͦ̇ͧ̈́͋͗̕͠W̝̗͕̦̲͊̃ͦ̌̆O̅ͧͯ̉̌ͫ͏̴͎̰̪̖͢R̵͇̹͕͎̞̘̣̥ͨͯ̾̈͑̑̊̒M̵͕͔͔̥̳̻͆ͨ͘ ͚̫̫̰̘̮͙̇ͪ̎Ī̸̧̠̌̃͑ͥͬ̓̌T̘̬̻̫͓̔̏͆͐̀̀ ̨̭̲̙̥̞̠̌ͪ͋ͪ͡W̶̛̪̜̲͕̣ͮ͗͆̎ͥ̎ͭ̚͠I͙̘̗͓̘͈̝̖̿ͭ̐̚͠L̵̩̗̠̹͖͆ͮͭL͍̙͓̮͕̻͓̜̐̔̓̐ͦ͡ ̨̧̰͓̥̳̦͇̞̎̀̊͊̽̂͡N̙͖̱̞̬̾ͯ̊͛̆̕Ò̶̀̏̽̌̈͆ͬ̂҉̨̖̮͙͎̳̫̙͖T͔̮̺̮͙̅̋̕ ̸̪̩̳̰͚̼̩̐ͩ̉ͧ̔ͤ̀H̟̞̝͖̘̰̘͊̾͂̂͂̈̏̈A̼͔̭̽ͭ̐̄̔ͬR̡̛̮̹̍͊̎͒ͬ̀M͔̞ͨ̊̉̃̾̀͆͛ ̣̺̦̤͖̉̔͡Ȳ̴̧͍̠̣̞̣͇̹̭̾̽́͌̉̅̎͆O̲͚̬̠̦̽̓̓̔Ṵ̤̘̻̳̖̋̄ͭͪ̽́̚͡ͅ
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:42 PM on May 5 [+] [!]
I was going to quote part of this, but couldn't figure out where to put the quotation marks. : (
posted by rankfreudlite at 10:06 PM on May 5, 2015
Can it burrow under human skin? If not, it's weird but tolerable. If so, getitoffgetitoffgetitoff.
No, the mature adults can just barely manage to inject larvae.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:17 AM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
No, the mature adults can just barely manage to inject larvae.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:17 AM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think I remember this from The Thing remake. In the dog pen?
posted by Splunge at 6:22 AM on May 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 6:22 AM on May 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
After that one time I clicked on the link someone posted to mefi where it was a worm or leech sucking up another worm whole... . NEVER AGAIN.
NOT CLICKING.
NOPE.
posted by Theta States at 6:55 AM on May 6, 2015
NOT CLICKING.
NOPE.
posted by Theta States at 6:55 AM on May 6, 2015
After that one time I clicked on the link someone posted to mefi where it was a worm or leech sucking up another worm whole..
Here you go!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:12 AM on May 6, 2015
Here you go!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:12 AM on May 6, 2015
"nightmare fuel" is about right.
posted by honeybee413 at 12:46 PM on May 6, 2015
posted by honeybee413 at 12:46 PM on May 6, 2015
You're most welcome!
FWIW, those leeches only eat those worms, so as gross as they are, they're pretty much the best jungle leeches you'd want to come across; the rest vant to suck your blood.
Oh, and they're up to a foot long, whereas the worms they eat grow to over two feet long. It's like a squirmy clown car!
Now to find that spider clip...
posted by Sys Rq at 9:21 PM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
FWIW, those leeches only eat those worms, so as gross as they are, they're pretty much the best jungle leeches you'd want to come across; the rest vant to suck your blood.
Oh, and they're up to a foot long, whereas the worms they eat grow to over two feet long. It's like a squirmy clown car!
Now to find that spider clip...
posted by Sys Rq at 9:21 PM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Here you go!
To be fair to that nightmare leech thingy, when your whole body is just one big orifice, you can't really be faulted for embracing a very narrow set of options when it comes to activities you enjoy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
To be fair to that nightmare leech thingy, when your whole body is just one big orifice, you can't really be faulted for embracing a very narrow set of options when it comes to activities you enjoy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Welcome to Metafiltervale.
Metafilter: be fair to that nightmare leech thingy
Metafilter: your whole body is just one big orifice
Metafilter: embrace a very narrow set of options
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:25 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: be fair to that nightmare leech thingy
Metafilter: your whole body is just one big orifice
Metafilter: embrace a very narrow set of options
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:25 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
That thing is going to be used by some cinematic art director to dethrone the face-hugger as the archtypal horror parasite.
posted by mondo dentro at 3:27 PM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]