The Linguistics of Writing Email Like a Boss

September 18, 2015 6:58 PM

Gilbert, when he published his article, noted that being able to identify hierarchy from the text of emails could have practical applications. A company could apply his methods to its own internal communications and discover informal structures of power within its ranks. Maybe a mid-level manager is laying the groundwork for a coup, gaining authority over subordinates on other teams....Or, less cynically, you could identify promising young hires for promotion: “Imagine a study investigating who in an organization disproportionately attracts upward language. Do they move up the ladder faster?

The database of emails released by Enron(only those authored before the scandal), has been analyzed and conclusions drawn.

One finding: "Researchers went through the Enron data set and looked at overt display of power use by hierarchy, and by gender. Unsurprisingly, emails from superiors to people beneath them in the hierarchy had more overt displays of power than the emails people sent to their superiors. But, when the emails were separated by the gender of the sender... this trend only held for male superiors. The difference between female subordinates and female superiors’ use of overt displays of power was not statistically significant."

Another finding:
"One surprise on this list[of most common phrases sent by bosses to employees] is the word “shit,” which definitely does not have the “ring of hedging politeness.” “I don’t know what the story on the cursing is,” Gilbert has said. “Maybe that’s the next paper.” “Weekend” also appears on this list, which the researchers initially also found surprising. Intuitively, people are unlikely to discuss weekend plans with their superiors more than their colleagues or subordinates. But, it turns out, those weekend plans often involve working

posted by storybored (45 comments total)

#7- kitchen
posted by MtDewd at 7:10 PM on September 18, 2015 [1 favorite]

In my experience, you just need to look for the phrase "sent from my blackberry" at the bottom of the email. But I suppose that signifier is dying out now that other phones are ActiveSync-enabled.
posted by muddgirl at 7:21 PM on September 18, 2015

"This is our busy season. I'm going to have go ahead and ask you to wait until next weekend to take a shit."
posted by Wolfdog at 7:22 PM on September 18, 2015 [16 favorites]

"This is our busy season. I'm going to have go ahead and ask you to wait until next weekend to take a shit" . . . "in the kitchen."
posted by flug at 7:26 PM on September 18, 2015 [9 favorites]

Shit was in the list of phrases subordinates send to their bosses, so probably more like, "I just wanted to notify you that for the third time this week there is literal shit all over the kitchen"
posted by muddgirl at 7:30 PM on September 18, 2015 [3 favorites]

Ok, let's discuss.
posted by storybored at 7:34 PM on September 18, 2015 [2 favorites]

I prevent myself from saying "shit" in emails by shouting it multiple times before I write them.

You can tell my emails from my supervisor's because I know how to use an apostrophe.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:41 PM on September 18, 2015 [48 favorites]

If I really need it, I have a bullhorn to amplify the shit.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:42 PM on September 18, 2015 [1 favorite]

Hey, that's R. Cima! All the other machine learning kids went off to data science-land rolling in piles of money (including myself), but apparently she did end up becoming a data journalist. Cool beans to her.

As for the actual analysis that the Georgia Tech guy did, it seems that poking at regularized SVM is not "cool kids" enough, if we really are to allow ourselves to give over to high-dimensional-land and take the possible overfitting, and just unleash a deep MLP on it. But there's also not nearly enough data for that.
posted by curuinor at 7:52 PM on September 18, 2015 [4 favorites]

"I just wanted to notify you that for the third time this week there is literal shit all over the kitchen"

So sweet / and so cold
posted by nom de poop at 8:04 PM on September 18, 2015 [79 favorites]

Why did I even know before I got to the more inside bit, that women would have an entirely different e-mail style than men and especially male superiors?
posted by sardonyx at 8:21 PM on September 18, 2015 [5 favorites]

"I just wanted to notify you that for the third time this week there is literal shit all over the kitchen"

So sweet / and so cold
posted by nom de poop at 11:04 PM on September 18

PERHAPS THE MOST META COMMENT EVER MADE ON THIS SITE, AND YET IT ONLY HAS THREE FAVORITES!!!

I mean, there's like layers of meta there...
posted by IAmBroom at 8:30 PM on September 18, 2015 [8 favorites]

huh k. forward yeah?

others ic:

the confusion email: mega-solutions and matrix-laden expostulations - brilliance thought and recorded in all its permutations, and employee x left to sift and guess and distill, and if not possible? All the more affirming...

the dunno email: u figure it, ur on it, go for it, its ur job description right? I have a meeting/internal external/proposal/review/contractors at my house to take care... just leave it for me, k?

the I'm confused email - among the worst... but better 'spain it, nail it, back it up, print it out, get verification, dredge up, search it, keyword it, attach back, copy/paste back, gentle reminder... sometimes this is boomer huh what, the time I did that, you know, umm whats his name...

the no email - he saw it? I haven't seen anything, when did you send it? You sent it? Spam? Software updates? the crash that happened, transfer from thumb drive... those were deleted. I haven't seen anything. Just move on, we can't wait on that...

policy language - its been the tradition, we're a family, insurance says no so do it the other way, you don't have right buy/sell, that's next month, they're on leave, that's not what it says - please re-read, you can say that, but legal won't accept it, just give it up... see HR, I doubt that's covered.

double/triple dipping: Yes, go ahead... ah ok, I just saw that one, forget it. Send it over... ok they don't need it anymore, so bz. Can we still go after this? Oh, next time get the submittal date in my calendar. This was cancelled? I'm sorry, you'll have to let me know those things.

Them: Stephen will get that to you. I'll grab some staff, you can have it. COB, just cc Matt. Fine, compatible it is. Are we doing the "site event" on Friday? If so, Emily needs to know so she can take that one, lemme know k?

Not happening: We're so excited about this - Sharon will get you the details. Of course we're ready - ck with Henry, he had it last. I'm submitting tomorrow morning, look for Kelvin's email in the morning. I'll make sure the marketing materials get over there, I'm seeing MJ in an hour. I hate those hi res things too hahah... let me get Amy to re-send, catch you later. Hey, Alison, send me the most current pls, thx. They didn't get it to me, but maybe the food will make up for it.

Internecine: I bcc'ed u. This is fine but lets talk. I can't now, but later, coz that meeting is at 3. They come back next week, lets resolve. Sorry, we can't be unprofitable forever on this stuff. You won't get a response, just give it to me. I never heard back. He left without saying. She thinks she can handle it, but we need a Plan B. Let's not do that, it hasn't worked before - let's be smart about it this time. Let's wait until the retreat... You can if you want... but thats ur call. I can, but not now. Has he ever? I',m not optimistic on that one... you know?
posted by wallstreet1929 at 8:30 PM on September 18, 2015 [22 favorites]

I would imagine that the odd correlation identified around the word "shit" in subordinates' emails is likely the result of a statistical outlier like Spiders Georg, that is, a series of emails from a single individual in which the word "shit" is so prevalent, it distorts the results unless corrected for.

For example, an email from 01.23.2001:

"Look you stupid shit-asses, the shit is seriously about to hit the fan. I warned you dumb shits that if we kept doing this shit to the state of California, that this shit would come back around to shit all over us. Now those little SEC shits are sniffing around, and guess what, they ain't smelling tulips! If we don't get our shit together, the Justice Department will take a massive shit on all of our heads, and we're going to look guiltier than a cat trying to bury shit on a hardwood floor! Now is the time to sort our shit out, before we get caught in the apocalyptic shit-nado that I can see building in the shit-clouds on the horizon, and that will spread shit from here to Tulsa-shit-Oklahoma! SHIT!"

Unfortunately, that email was sent by Enron's general council, roughly three days before he was terminated for violations of the company's internal communications policy.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:39 PM on September 18, 2015 [25 favorites]

Honestly, wallstreet1929, your comment reads like actual emails I have received from bosses at my old job that made me want to go into their offices and run stroke evaluations on them.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:44 PM on September 18, 2015 [9 favorites]

The covert display that's been getting under my skin lately is someone who repeatedly appends "thanks for your assistance" to every email. Said staff member is not my line manager, nor do any of these emails contain anything that resembles a request for my assistance, or even an invitation to offer my opinion. It's such an obvious (and grossly misplaced) display of power that it barely warrants the term "covert". What really bugs me is that staff member doing this is also one of the most vocal complainants about other people showing disrespect in the workplace. Irritating.
posted by langtonsant at 9:17 PM on September 18, 2015 [6 favorites]

I'm mildly distressed at the sense of familiarity these give me with regard to e-mails amongst the mostly-volunteer audio fiction podcast family of which I am a long-term staffer...
posted by Scattercat at 10:55 PM on September 18, 2015

Why did I even know before I got to the more inside bit, that women would have an entirely different e-mail style than men and especially male superiors?

A bit surprising that women apparently respond less to status differences though?
posted by Segundus at 12:42 AM on September 19, 2015

Great, thanks.
posted by Artw at 2:25 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Adding Jack to get his take.

I once told a new-to-work PM that the best thing he could do was select at random one person to remove from the cc line for ever email he responded to.
posted by CMcG at 4:01 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Also, always let it sit in your Drafts for ten minutes.
posted by Mogur at 4:28 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Some day we will all look back on the preoccupation with status displays of the late 20th century American male and wonder why they got promoted when they wasted so much of everyone's time on status-mamagement rather than work.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:55 AM on September 19, 2015 [11 favorites]

Maybe things are slowly changing but, in my experience, for a long time there seemed to be a correlation between bad writing skills and upper management. Coworkers and other young people could write in normal, clear sentences with mostly correct grammar and spelling. But as you went up the managerial chain all that went away and writing became more, well, free form.

23yo recent hire: "I've been examining the results from the latest series of tests and following represent some preliminary conclusions that can be drawn from the data: ..."

55yo manager: "i talk with customer xyz and their unhappy with latest version these guys are very important and meet on monday to come up with a plan"

I eventually decided that a lot of these guys came into the business world in an era when important people dictated memos and knowing how to type was considered a lower-class skill. No longer having an expert secretary to take dictation and, understanding what you really meant, convert that into clean prose must have come as a hell of a shock for a certain generation of executives.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 6:01 AM on September 19, 2015 [16 favorites]

Also, the article notes "please stop by my office" as an overt display of power while "it would be great if you could stop by my office" as NOT because it's easily denied, but here in the passive-aggressive, sarcastic Midwest "It'd be great if ..." clearly means "you have already fucked this up and it'd be great if you could do your fucking job properly." "It'd be great if ..." is CLEARLY a dominance phrase to me, and one you only use when already angry!

Sometimes document discovery especially of emails and transcripts is very hard to read in law cases around here because the more senior someone is the more sarcastic they get to be, so sometimes you have a whole meeting transcript where an angry boss spends the entire meeting saying exactly the opposite of what he or she means ("Wow. Awesome."). Not to be sneaky, and it's clearly understood as a display of anger by subordinates, but it can be awfully hard to understand stripped of context and tone. Sometimes nobody can remember during depositions if the boss said "wow, awesome" in an enthusiastic way or sarcastic way, and the entire exchange remains an enigma.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:10 AM on September 19, 2015 [13 favorites]

Yes, I agree with Eyebrows McGee. My manager (female) often IMs me with: Could you stop by my office or Please stop by my office. I don't really think of it as dominant, just neutral.
posted by peacheater at 6:45 AM on September 19, 2015

speaking of business and also shit, I have found "shipping units" to be an outstanding euphemism for pooping
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:10 AM on September 19, 2015 [3 favorites]

Lenght is also important (or so they say...). A boss can get away with a few curt words, but a subordinate in the same situation would have to write a paragraph.
posted by Mogur at 7:23 AM on September 19, 2015

Great post!

Eyebrows McGee: Sometimes document discovery especially of emails and transcripts is very hard to read in law cases around here because the more senior someone is the more sarcastic they get to be, so sometimes you have a whole meeting transcript where an angry boss spends the entire meeting saying exactly the opposite of what he or she means ("Wow. Awesome."). Not to be sneaky, and it's clearly understood as a display of anger by subordinates, but it can be awfully hard to understand stripped of context and tone. Sometimes nobody can remember during depositions if the boss said "wow, awesome" in an enthusiastic way or sarcastic way, and the entire exchange remains an enigma.

This, so much. At work I am involved in a decade-long struggle over funds, and thus I spend a lot of time reading old minutes and other documents. Sometimes I wonder about a specific sentence and then I remember: they, or I was being sarcastic. Which is really not a smart thing to do if you have a brain-dead and scared-as-hell secretary taking the notes. For those meetings where I wasn't there, good luck figuring out whatever happened.
posted by mumimor at 7:55 AM on September 19, 2015

Kitchen? Can anyone speculate here? I'm baffled why it would show up so much, even in an aphorism.
posted by Sweet Dee Kat at 8:20 AM on September 19, 2015

"Just to let everyone know, we had a birthday celebration!! There's cake in the kitchen!! Remember to clean up after yourselves thanks!"
...
"Enrollment in our new health plan has started for this quarter. You'll find forms in the kitchen."
...
"Just a reminder to donate to the coffee fund! There's a jar on the kitchen counter for it, thanks!"
posted by disclaimer at 8:27 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Now I have to respond to myself, I just made myself mad:

- I wouldn't eat your passive aggressive store-manufactured fake-ass birthday cake ever.
- I wonder if the forms for health plan sign up show the sharp increase in premiums
- COFFEE SHOULD BE FREE YOU ASSHOLES
posted by disclaimer at 8:29 AM on September 19, 2015 [3 favorites]

Who put the fish in the microwave? Kitchen smells like shit.
posted by bukvich at 8:34 AM on September 19, 2015 [5 favorites]

COFFEE SHOULD BE FREE YOU ASSHOLES

It IS free.

For CLOSERS.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 8:50 AM on September 19, 2015 [6 favorites]

"Could I ask the person who just made microwave popcorn (you know who you are, sweetie) in the kitchen to PLEASE keep an eye on it while it's popping? My cube is right outside the kitchen door and I'll be smelling it all day! Thanks!"

Vickie
Accounts Payable Supervisor
posted by disclaimer at 8:59 AM on September 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

This PhDComics sums up the academic equivalent. I admit that I am guilty of this.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:00 AM on September 19, 2015 [4 favorites]

Now that I think about it, they probably counted all the separate instances of

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Free bananas in the kitchen!!!
posted by Wolfdog at 9:15 AM on September 19, 2015 [6 favorites]

One thing about Enron is that they had a more macho than usual office culture. The documentary mentioned that senior management were expected to spend their days off doing adventure sports with their fellow execs. Ugh. 1 - 2 company picnics a year are enough for me.
posted by ovvl at 9:33 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Kitchen? Can anyone speculate here? I'm baffled why it would show up so much, even in an aphorism.

To me it is perceived by the author as a power play, but I find it to be the swiftest way to undermine your authority. It manifest at my old office as: a) I am too busy to make coffee/clean up after you people; b) I am more organized and cleaner than all of you; c) I give 100% of myself to this office right down to the kitchen and obviously none of you have the same dedication. I never once sent a coffee/kitchen email at my old, 12-person place of work even though people drove me nuts. Probably not a coincidence that I was known as one of the calm and reasonable people.

In my experience: "Could you swing by?" from a supervisor = "Hey, you fucked this up but I'm trying to act cool about it. :) Need to lecture you at your earliest convenience."

Coworkers and other young people could write in normal, clear sentences with mostly correct grammar and spelling.

What I'm seeing now is smartphone posturing, where your example of the incoherent email has "Sent from my iPhone" at the bottom. The 23yo you refer to is probably writing the email in your example but in my experience they are saying something that was clearly stated in whatever they are talking about, it is not at all relevant to the conversation, and pisses off about 6 people more important than them.
posted by good lorneing at 9:37 AM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

reply all
So where's the bananas?
posted by rebent at 10:11 AM on September 19, 2015 [3 favorites]

Came in to say something similar to ovvl. This was one corpus of email - Enron in the run-up to their failure. I'm thinking about the very different corporate cultures I've seen over my career as either an employee or consultant and wondering if Gilbert would have seen different dynamics or language in other organizations.
posted by kovacs at 10:24 AM on September 19, 2015

The thing that gets to me is the word "request." Request indicates that you have the option of saying no--but if someone sends me a "request" at work, I categorically can't say no. It's an order, not a "request." So I'm amused at the whole analysis of "great thanks."
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:43 AM on September 19, 2015

The only people I see with 'Sent from my iPhone/Blackberry/Apple Watch/Brain Monitor' are the tech-averse folks who haven't worked out how to turn it off yet. I don't read it as posturing at all, more as 'my device does a thing and I don't know how to make it stop doing the thing'.
posted by geek anachronism at 5:53 PM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

speaking of business and also shit, I have found "shipping units" to be an outstanding euphemism for pooping

Only last week, while at work I came up with "doing the paperwork" as a euphemism for the same thing...
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 6:54 PM on September 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

I wonder how much of the difference in power displays by gender is about women being socialized to do more emotional labor, make other people feel comfortable, and approach work with a team mindset rather than a hierarchy mindset.
posted by bile and syntax at 9:50 AM on September 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

Just going to set this here.
posted by cudzoo at 11:22 AM on September 20, 2015