Confused about who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election?
September 29, 2015 5:50 PM   Subscribe

 
princess twilight sparkle?? hmmmm
posted by pyramid termite at 5:57 PM on September 29, 2015 [6 favorites]


I told it I like money a whole lot and don't value human life very much, for some reason it's just giving me a bunch of republicans and democrats
posted by threeants at 6:04 PM on September 29, 2015 [18 favorites]


99% Bernie.

1% Carson. That's 1% too much.
posted by 1adam12 at 6:06 PM on September 29, 2015 [6 favorites]


1adam12: I got 100% & 0% for those candidates. Suck it!
posted by aubilenon at 6:07 PM on September 29, 2015


I like how the first republican candidate offered was at like 35% match
posted by The Whelk at 6:10 PM on September 29, 2015


Every time I take this it says I'm supporting Rubio, but I really prefer Trump.
posted by theorique at 6:11 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


99% Bernie, somebody hook me up with a fraudulent voter i.d. stat.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:11 PM on September 29, 2015 [5 favorites]


I got 0% Carson. Thank god. I got more Jeb (20%) than Rand Paul (17%), which is a surprise. I support pot legalization! That has to count for something with Rand Paul!
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:14 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


I had friends on Facebook who took this and got Trump, expressed surprise they didn't get a Democratic candidate, then congratulated themselves on "maturing" into conservatism.

Not Facebook friends any more. I have enough trouble understanding his supporters, much less those who are proud to find out they share the same viewpoint as him.
posted by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on September 29, 2015


Ron Paul will always be the candidate of my heart.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:18 PM on September 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


Also, among the Democratic candidates I range from 81% (O'Malley) to 98% (Bernie). The closest I get to solidarity with any Republican is 37% with Bush.
posted by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on September 29, 2015


Also, my personal experience as a campaign volunteer has led me to believe that people's voting habits have only a small correlation with their actual positions on issues. To a shocking degree, people vote for candidates not because of their policy positions, but because of the voter's perceptions of whether the candidate is trustworthy, honorable, elitist, slimy, etc.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:18 PM on September 29, 2015 [14 favorites]


99% Bernie
90% Hillary
88% Biden
75% O'Malley
Then it drops to 25% for Jeb.

I'm very concerned about that 25%.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:23 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Huh. I'm economically conservative by Metafilter standards (more moderate actually), and I matched 88% Bernie. That surprised me.
posted by echocollate at 6:23 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


No, I'm not confused at all about who I'm voting for in any election. But thanks for asking. :^)
posted by surazal at 6:23 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hey, I think this is the same quiz I took during the last election that gave me 96% Jill Stein (Green Party), 80% Obama, 50% the Libertarian guy, 4% Romney. Which I felt was a wonderfully accurate representation of the ins and outs of my political views.

I.e. if I'm partisan, one time in five I'm disagreeing with Obama. I just hate almost everything about the Republicans. And libertarians can stop wondering why I can't support them despite agreeing on so many thingsā€”it's cause of that other half of their thing.
posted by traveler_ at 6:27 PM on September 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


98% Bernie.

I was surprised that Biden was a near second.
posted by nzero at 6:28 PM on September 29, 2015


I got several (near, but not quite, zero) Republicans because we "agree on science issues"...

The only science issue question was "Should we explore space?"

Lol.
posted by nzero at 6:29 PM on September 29, 2015 [15 favorites]


Yeah I think last time it said my 4% Romney was because I supported nuclear power. Which seems like it probably is the only thing in the universe I agree with Republicans on.
posted by traveler_ at 6:31 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Should immigrants to the U.S. be required to learn English?"

Isn't an English test part of the citizenship requirements already?
posted by demiurge at 6:32 PM on September 29, 2015


For most people, yeah. But a lot of immigrants don't naturalize, or at least don't do it for a long time, and if you wait long enough, you can age out of the requirement. I don't think it's a serious policy proposal, though. It's an anti-immigration shibboleth.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:35 PM on September 29, 2015 [7 favorites]


98% bernie and 93% hillary but oh my god what is this 10% santorum why what is happen

oh god im hitler
posted by poffin boffin at 6:35 PM on September 29, 2015 [24 favorites]


18% ted cruz

brb seppuku
posted by poffin boffin at 6:36 PM on September 29, 2015 [32 favorites]


To a shocking degree, people vote for candidates not because of their policy positions, but because of the voter's perceptions of whether the candidate is trustworthy, honorable, elitist, slimy, etc.

I'm not sure why that's shocking, or even why it's bad.
posted by escabeche at 6:36 PM on September 29, 2015


53% huckabee

where can i buy a gun right now and jusT END IT ALL
posted by poffin boffin at 6:36 PM on September 29, 2015


i must fill my sleeves with stones and walk into the sea
posted by poffin boffin at 6:38 PM on September 29, 2015 [23 favorites]


I'm blaming my priority level of and support for increasing the NASA budget as why the Texas Republicans were above a 20% match.

I have no idea why I got 13% Trump.
posted by miguelcervantes at 6:40 PM on September 29, 2015


escabeche: I'm not sure why that's shocking, or even why it's bad.


I suppose it can be bad if people are going off superficial "beer summit" attitudes formed by mass-media puffery. But yeah there's a local politician whose campaigning so far is all "jobs and growth" and optimism that sounds great, but I knew him from before and he's given a ton of personal wealth so a local creationist museum could buy a complete T-Rex fossil, seriously angering our excellent, real, museum.

By their works you will know them, and his "policy positions" are not his record of works.
posted by traveler_ at 6:41 PM on September 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


Cruz 92 / Santorum 91 / Paul 88 / Trump 86 / Carson 85.

Maybe I should shake the magic 8 ball again? These results seem strange.
posted by theorique at 6:42 PM on September 29, 2015


I'm not sure why that's shocking, or even why it's bad.
It's shocking when someone tells you that she supports government-funded healthcare, and of course she thinks abortion should be legal, and she's used Planned Parenthood herself and thinks the government should fund getting a pap smear there, and she wants universal free pre-kindergarten because that's obviously in everyone's best interest, and food stamps are good because nobody should go hungry, and the state should fund higher education to keep college costs down, but she's voting for the candidate for governor who opposes all that stuff, because he seems like a good guy. That's shocking to me.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:42 PM on September 29, 2015 [22 favorites]


It's broken: it told me I'm extreme leftist, then said I had like a 90% match with a Democrat.
Where are all the leftist candidates?
posted by signal at 6:46 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


95% Sanders, extreme left wing, yet 20% Trump (shudder).
posted by oozy rat in a sanitary zoo at 6:48 PM on September 29, 2015


If you mean Bernie Sanders, never fear. He is running in the Democratic race, but he is not actually a Democrat. He identifies as an independent socialist.

(Hard left he is not, but we're talking about the US, so you're going to have to take what you can get.)
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:49 PM on September 29, 2015


Santorum and I agree on no major issues. For this little moment, all is right in my world.
posted by notquitemaryann at 6:49 PM on September 29, 2015


94% Bernie. 11% Carson, on science issues. What?
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:50 PM on September 29, 2015


god damn, i side with Bernie. HE'S NOT GOING TO WIN, STOP ACTING LIKE HE'S REASONABLE guhhhh

(it would be so cool tho)
posted by rebent at 6:53 PM on September 29, 2015


what is this 10% santorum why what is happen

oh god im hitler


this is how most people react to Santorum
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:54 PM on September 29, 2015


I always get a fringe candidate, but vote for a candidate who can win. There should be a "in a perfect world, your candidate is x, but in this world it is y."
posted by maxsparber at 6:54 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


What does the I side with friends results section "Metafilter.com on no major issues 26%" even mean? Can someone parse that?
posted by janell at 6:55 PM on September 29, 2015


brb seppuku

this told me I have 11% Ben Carson, will you suicide pact with me? y/n
posted by en forme de poire at 6:56 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


also 27% to a certain bridge-befouling springsteen-obsessing teacher-bullying mid-atlantic governor WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS
posted by en forme de poire at 6:59 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sanders=92
Paul=81
Clinton=77
Huckabee=74
Carson=52
Cruz=51
Trump=46
Bush=43

At first I was like fuck yeah Sanders.....then I saw the rest of the list....

Wtf is wrong with me? Huckabee 74????? I feel so dirty.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:09 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


Did anyone else have to give a shitload of free market research to Uber in order to get their results?
posted by codacorolla at 7:11 PM on September 29, 2015


Confused about who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election?

Well yes, but that's because I'm never given a ballot with "None of the above" as a practicable choice.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:11 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


You can expand a lot of the categories and answer more questions, which gives you more refined results.

I had 98 with Bernie, 94 with Hillary, and somehow 24 with Trump, so I now need to bury my head under the covers and scream in despair.
posted by leesh at 7:19 PM on September 29, 2015


Sanders=92
Paul=81


I got 91 for Sanders on most issues except economic ones, and 78 for Paul on most issues except social ones. A race between the two of them would involve, for me, actual weighing of principles and careful decisions between two qualified candidates. In practice, I expect to just accept Clinton II as president because at least she's better than Jeb! Bush III.

The "Where voters side with you" map is interesting. Apparently I fit right in with two tiny districts in Manhattan and Massachusetts. And... *scrolls across the country*... two in California. Honestly not a surprise.

I had 98 with Bernie, 94 with Hillary, and somehow 24 with Trump, so I now need to bury my head under the covers and scream in despair.

oh my god what is this 10% santorum why what is happen

There's bound to be some 10%-20% of questions that any viable candidate will get correct, because someone you're literally 0% compatible with would be a lizard person. And we all know their reign is confined to Great Britian.
posted by Rangi at 7:22 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Well yes, but that's because I'm never given a ballot with "None of the above" as a practicable choice.

You can always write in Mickey Mouse.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:22 PM on September 29, 2015


Bernie Sanders: 100%. Just as I expected.
Donald Trump: 25%. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, I guess.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:29 PM on September 29, 2015


Clinton 95, Sanders 90. Republicans all like 35% or less. Not very surprising.

Although some of the "disagree" seem weird. Like it said Sanders and I disagree on "Should the U.S. maintain a presence at the United Nations?" where I said Yes and for him it says "We couldn't determine his position."

I'd be pretty shocked if he said we should not maintain a presence at the UN...
posted by thefoxgod at 7:30 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


also 27% to a certain bridge-befouling springsteen-obsessing teacher-bullying mid-atlantic governor WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS

mine was like 35% or something, idek, i've already perished and am posting from the afterlife
posted by poffin boffin at 7:32 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


You can always write in Mickey Mouse.

Or Pat Paulsen.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:33 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Does it still have a question about property taxes? ALERT ALERT THE PRESIDENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PROPERTY TAXES.
posted by raysmj at 7:43 PM on September 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


You can always write in Mickey Mouse.
Or Pat Paulsen.


Not that either of those would be what you'd call "practicable".
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:51 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


99% Killer Mike
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:09 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I took this the first time a week or two ago and again today I felt the Bern. However this time I had much higher agreement with Trump than I'm okay with. I'm scurred.
posted by fuse theorem at 8:15 PM on September 29, 2015


Bofa% Deez Nuts.
posted by tonycpsu at 8:15 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


98% Bernie!

... And 30% Jeb Bush and 12% Dump Truck. *Shudders*
posted by brecc at 8:40 PM on September 29, 2015


98% Bernie, 89% Hilary, 82% Biden; but I really took it to find out which Republican I might find least odious. Turns out I was right, Christie's the least evil with 44%, closely followed by Rand at 41%. They drop off pretty sharply after that.
posted by Weeping_angel at 8:40 PM on September 29, 2015


To a shocking degree, people vote for candidates not because of their policy positions, but because of the voter's perceptions of whether the candidate is trustworthy, honorable, elitist, slimy, etc.

There are other things going on but unless you happen to follow and enjoy politics the same way some people do baseball, the kind of issue-based voting you're describing is mostly just a waste of time, and voting in part on the basis of judgments of the candidates as people is a useful tool for saving informational effort.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:54 PM on September 29, 2015


argh. I'd intended to fix that to "voting in part on the basis of judgments of the candidates as people -- AFAIK most voting in still heavily rooted in party -- ..."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:55 PM on September 29, 2015


99% Opus/Bill the Cat.  TWO SPACES AFTER A PERIOD 2016
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:57 PM on September 29, 2015 [12 favorites]


from what it appears this is a really stupid way to do this they should do some sort of dimension-reduction technique over the candidates' positions and then over you to locate the nearest candidate in the low-dimension n-space instead of just counting percent agreement
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:02 PM on September 29, 2015 [3 favorites]


98% Bernie, 93% Clinton.

First non-democrat is Rand Paul (44%), foreign policy and 'science' (yeah, 1 question, NASA, that impacts public policy the least? seriously, climate change is also science, poll people).

Declare war on ISIS? Isn't that pretty much declaring them a nation state, if you declare war on them? Doesn't that give them legitimacy?

The thing that baffles me is my 14% Trump. It says "no major issues", so, what, it can't identify what I might have in common with him from a policy perspective? Or is that because Trump doesn't actually give policy positions, only platitudes. Anyway, the rest of the republican's non-zero numbers apparently only because I want to allow NASA to exist.
posted by el io at 9:05 PM on September 29, 2015


These quizzes are interesting, but I always feel like they focus too much on specific policy stances and too little on day-to-day governance. Do you want a president who's willing to compromise? Do you prefer a president who knows how to navigate political trenches, or would you prefer someone who's spent their career above the fray? Someone who's going to put all of their political tokens into one or two big sweeping reforms, or someone who'll push for small, iterative change on several different fronts at once?

Also, did anyone notice that several of the "other stances" answers seemed more-or-less equivalent to yes or no? eg:

Do you support the legalization of same sex marriage?
Yes
No
No, marriage should be defined as between a man and woman

Yes
No
No, all customers deserve to be served and treated equally

Yes
No
No, religion is an important aspect of America's heritage

posted by roll truck roll at 9:25 PM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]


roll truck roll: that's a fair point, but you have to have a grasp of their policy positions in the first place to make those other considerations relevant.

Obviously Obama can't get re-elected (and were supposed to keep quiet about those plans of his to halt the elections, everyone), but I wish he would have been listed as a candidate as well; I'd be curious how he'd rank for everyone (I imagine for me it'd be Bernie, then Obama, then Clinton).
posted by el io at 9:30 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


95% Bernie

IMPORTANT: This test is a pain to set up, because to take it accurately, you have to make sure you expand all of the sections fully, and then you have to expand all of the questions fully, one at a time, and they don't really mention either of these two critical steps! - so you most likely need to take a more complete version of the test over again, for even better results!
posted by Yosemite Sam at 9:31 PM on September 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


The Trump thing that a lot of people got was likely because Trump has apparently voiced the opinion that we should not get into more wars in the Middle East or declare war on things randomly. I don't believe for a second that he wouldn't immediately launch such a war if he saw any profit for himself in it, but he's at least expressed in public that his policy would be more toward isolationism, which is also something that anti-colonial sentiment can mimic in these sort of coarse-grained quizzes.

And also the only science question being funding space flight, which I imagine the nerdy side of many MeFites caused them to support on principle that NASA is cool. That apparently bumped up the average Republican for me by about ten percent each.
posted by Scattercat at 9:31 PM on September 29, 2015


god damn, i side with Bernie. HE'S NOT GOING TO WIN, STOP ACTING LIKE HE'S REASONABLE

HE IS REASONABLE. THAT IS WHY HE'S NOT GOING TO WIN.

Heart: Bernie Sanders, 97%
Head: Hillary Clinton, 93%
posted by kirkaracha at 9:49 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I retook the test after Yosemite Sam's comment, and got significantly different results.

Down to 96% on Bernie (from 98), down to 75% on Hillary (from 93), down to 28% on Rand (from 44), down to 12 (from 14) on Trump.

Yeah, I'd say the quiz is far more accurate if you expand all the questions (and catagories). I wish there was an 'expand all' button at the top of the quiz to make it easier.

I have another complaint though; if the quiz can show every doomed not-a-chance republican candidate, why can't it show 3rd party candidates? Seriously.
posted by el io at 10:03 PM on September 29, 2015


#feelthebern
posted by oceanjesse at 10:05 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


96% Bernie
91% Hillary
83% Biden

58% Huckabee
55% Jeb!
54% Rand Paul
54% Tub-o-Lard

39% Douchebag Trump
34% John Kaisch (had no idea he was as evil as Jindal)
34% Bobby Jindal
25% Ben Carson
21% Marco Rudio (had no idea he was this evil)
18% Lindsay Graham
16% Carly (had no idea she was this evil)
15% Santorum
13% Cruz (I did know he was pure evil)
posted by Yosemite Sam at 10:18 PM on September 29, 2015


Sanders 92%
Clinton 86%
Biden 76%

First Republican, Bush 44%

Paul was 30% ... (drugs and privacy, I would imagine)

Goes down from there
posted by JKevinKing at 10:38 PM on September 29, 2015


I took the most questions offerred and checked out the expansions on each.

The thing is these are interesting shorthands, but this is truly nonlinear, so who knows, really?!

Also, if you look at the tabs, there are other categories, too: I'm 86% Green & 85% Democratic. 70% Socialist, 30% Libertarian & 9% Republican. Hmmmm.
posted by JKevinKing at 10:42 PM on September 29, 2015


99% Bernie.

Every time I take one of these quizzes, I come up more than 90% Bernie.

It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
posted by pjern at 10:49 PM on September 29, 2015


I'm rather sad because I just lost an old friend who I knew a while back, in college. We drifted apart but connected on Facebook several years ago. He apparently became enamoured of the usual Right wing suspects. That was actually fine as we would trade barbs once in a while, but it has gotten really bad lately, and he just basically told me to stop trolling him. I actually wasn't; for internet standards it was actually rather tame -- the comments would have been fine w/r/t tone on Metafilter, for instance. I responded that while I didn't mind sports or personal posts, if he couldn't handle my responding, he should take me off of political posts. (They really have been the worst you can imagine from Fox, Breibart, et al -- Obama's an Islamosocialfacist, don't you know.) He went apeshit, I responded in kind, and now we're not FB friends. It's sad.

Is it me, or are the Right wing crazies going even further off the deep end lately? They can't seem to tolerate any dissent.
posted by JKevinKing at 10:57 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


93% green, 88% democrat, 88% socialist, 53% libertarian (foreign policy), 0% republican.

Yeah, I'd say this does a pretty job of nailing me.
posted by el io at 10:59 PM on September 29, 2015


I was pretty puzzled to be 96% Sanders, 90% Hilary (whom I always suspected was too conservative for me) and 82% Biden (whom I'd have expected to be higher match), but then 44% Jeb, whom I can't imagine agreeing with for anything, and 25% Trump. Ick.

I consider myself liberal/progressive on all the issues I tend to think about (social and economic issues), but have learned I can be more middle-of-the-road (but still left-leaning) on issues that I rarely consider unless asked.

I used a lot of the expanded answers, and most of the places where I disagreed with Sanders were issues where he'd not made his stance public yet. Shouldn't those be factored out?

Also, really puzzled to be told that I agree with Republicans on "foreign policy" and "science" issues, as I'm very pro-science (pro-NASA funding, pro-vaccination, etc.). And I really wouldn't consider these to be "barely similar" with regard to in-state college tuition for undocumented immigrants:

Ted Cruz: No, and illegal immigrants should be deported
Your barely similar answer: No, they should pay the same rate as out-of-state students

Unlike in 2008, when Obama was my candidate before he was A candidate, I'm not filled with a lot of hope right now for any of us.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 11:04 PM on September 29, 2015


So, here's a fun thing I did with this site: go to the bottom and take the polls for other countries. You'll find out who you're more aligned with (in the UK, I'm a green party dude, for example), but also get a listing of political questions of the day in the various countries.

I've done UK, Canada, US, and India (India was the most interesting, and I had to 'read more' to understand the questions in many cases).
posted by el io at 11:24 PM on September 29, 2015 [4 favorites]


It didn't ask me about anything I care much about: money in politics, arms sales, surveillance, militarization of police, prison reform, torture, the banking scandal, Patriot Act, education.

Where's the beef?
posted by king walnut at 11:30 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am 100% big government apparently :3
posted by Quilford at 11:52 PM on September 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I'm confused about the thing saying I compare at 26% with Metafilter. From what you others are reporting, I would think the similarity rate would be higher, as I too am: Sanders (91%), Clinton (84%), Biden (82%), and then the 'highest' conservative is Bush (27%). So what is that 26% referring to, anyone know?
posted by Halo in reverse at 1:24 AM on September 30, 2015


97% Bernie, 94% Biden. I'm a social democrat, but to the right of many of the comment sections on MetaFilter. And of course a huge Bernie supporter.
posted by persona au gratin at 1:33 AM on September 30, 2015


Bernie's foreign policy is pretty center-left Democrat. I mean, he's not Noam Chomsky.
posted by persona au gratin at 1:36 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


And if Bernie is nominated, he absolutely can get elected. In fact, probably will. So let's nominate him!
posted by persona au gratin at 1:38 AM on September 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


95% Bernie, 93% Hillary...
44% Trump
eww, eww, eww, get it off of me
posted by Green Winnebago at 1:41 AM on September 30, 2015


97% feeling the Bern. 85% ready for Hillary. Surprisingly, I am only 13% Mefite, but 96% Green (which actually surprises me, unlike the 90% Socialist)

I am not surprised with my Trump score of 23%. That rat bastard (I kinda feel bad saying that, for the rats) is all over the map. He is the epitome of the throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks style of campaigning. It amazes me that he has a reputation for straight talk. I guess once you piss off enough people and steadfastly refuse to apologize, you get that reputation no matter what you're actually saying or how often you change your position.

I am also not surprised to be 54% Libertarian, since I am in agreement with their drug policy, which is more of a lack of policy. As it should be. It isn't anybody else's fucking concern what they put in their own body unless they agree to make it someone else's business. The rest of their platform can go fuck itself, though. I am a supporter of the existence of civil society and representative government, thanks. Even when I live far from it and get little immediately obvious benefit, I do derive great value from it, as do we all, no matter how tightly we shut our eyes, how far in our ears we stick our fingers, and how loudly we scream "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" while we do our best impression of a teen getting "the talk" from their parent.
posted by wierdo at 1:51 AM on September 30, 2015


I had 97% Sanders, but a whopping 56% Rand Paul. As a socialist who will probably vote for someone to Sanders's left, it's funny how that works.

Paul of course lines up with my strong anti-war views, but also on issues like Obamacare and gun control where I'm against the standard Democratic position. (I chose not to go for the "Yes but" answer because I am not actually in favor of Obamacare.) Interestingly these are also differences with Sanders.
posted by graymouser at 2:16 AM on September 30, 2015


I'm skeptical of the methodology used (Metafilter: I'm skeptical of the methodology...). I got 15% for Trump almost certainly because of universal health care, but Trump isn't really pushing for that and has only sort of mentioned as an aside that he thought it was a good idea way back when, but there's no way that's actually part of his platform (if he even has a platform).

Ok, I guess I'm just skeptical of including Trump on this at all. If there was a question that asked "Do you think Donald Trump is the greatest, bestest, most biggest strongest dude ever who could really Chuck Norris the fuck out of all our problems with MANAGEMENT and HAIR?", that would be the only question that showed whether you side with Trump or not. Otherwise, it's impossible to side or not side with Trump, the Trickster-demon whose entire campaign strategy is being harder to look away from than a minivan bursting into flames on the side of a highway.
posted by dis_integration at 5:06 AM on September 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


98% Sanders
94% Clinton
88% biden
81% Some other guy who is apparently standing the Dems, save your money mate.

53% Rand Paul. I am wondering whether he agrees with free healthcare on demand, free medical grade heroin for addicts within that free healthcare system, a ban on guns or abortion on demand. It must be 2 from those 4 yes?
posted by biffa at 5:19 AM on September 30, 2015


(Also, you know you can click "compare answers" and see exactly where you side with people. I got 25% Jeb! because of background checks and not paving over our national parks)
posted by dis_integration at 5:22 AM on September 30, 2015


Bernie....again.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:44 AM on September 30, 2015


> I'd be pretty shocked if he said we should not maintain a presence at the UN...

Whether it's a toy or a tool, it would be less honest and useful than it currently is if it made assumptions about candidates' positions. No matter how safe those assumptions would be.
posted by ardgedee at 6:03 AM on September 30, 2015


95% Bernie (94% Green, 88% Socialist) yet 55% Huckabee - on Science and Environment, apparently. WTF?
posted by charred husk at 6:16 AM on September 30, 2015


Didn't tell me anything 'cause I got bored after the third or fourth drop down.

... i side with Bernie. HE'S NOT GOING TO WIN...

So who else can get the dem nod if there's a last minute "email" that's totally damning?

Then it's Bernie vs Trump and the donald totally melts down when it gets really hot.

Third party Bloomberg?
posted by sammyo at 6:23 AM on September 30, 2015


The mass existential crisis that this thread has become is fucking delicious.
posted by echocollate at 6:26 AM on September 30, 2015


Interesting doing it as a (corbennite!) UK-er with little idea what e.g. common core is or what the issues around e.g. term limits are:
Sanders 92 %, Clinton 81, Biden 78 O'Malley 64.....then HUCKABEE 31? and Trump on science issues just cos am not into space exploration. side towards "tender" and "multilateralism" also surprising!
posted by runincircles at 6:44 AM on September 30, 2015


I'm pretending that the 24% I got for Trump is really an 24% endorsement of the Apprentice's yes-man George Ross. I can live with that. And I suspect that George was a bit of a puppeteer with the Donald anyway.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:07 AM on September 30, 2015


I'm skeptical of the methodology used

Yeah, this is fun to take, but it seems like just asking about specific policy positions with limited multiple-choice answers doesn't get at the candidates' worldviews. Like, "Do you believe labor unions hurt or help the economy?" - my opinion on labor unions has more to do with the distribution of power, not with whether they "hurt or help the economy." But there was no answer that said "In a capitalist society, power concentrates in the hands of already-powerful corporations and leads to exploitation and suffering and we should support mechanisms to reverse or at least mitigate that." Where's the question that tells me who is most anti-capitalist?? I mean, I still got 97% Bernie, so I guess it did that...

It'd be hard to do a more complete job and still have it be a manageably short quiz though.
posted by aka burlap at 7:08 AM on September 30, 2015


Biggest surprise? I'm 96% with Sanders and 92% with Clinton. I'm a Bernie supporter, and would have thought the gap between the two would be wider. Perhaps they hold a lot of the same positions and Bernie is just better at advocating for them?

Unsurprisingly, Rand Paul is the Republican I agree with most, at 55%. Surprisingly, Bush is my second-ranked Republican, at 51%. I like some of the things Paul has to say, and would have thought the gap between the two would be wider. But I guess Bush is such a middle-of-the-road conservative, odds are lots of people would agree with him about half the time -- essentially a coin-flip. And while Paul makes sense when talking about a few issues (e.g. criminal justice reform, privacy, some of his foreign policy positions), truth is that he and I are pretty far apart on most issues. Interesting.

I agree with Ted Cruz 12% of the time. Now I feel dirty. 12% dirty, to be precise.
posted by panama joe at 7:13 AM on September 30, 2015


I don't understand the "18% agree with MetaFilter" bit. (I clicked through and got a blank page.) Is it comparing my answers to all folks who arrived there from MetaFilter, or did somebody named Metafilter take the quiz? Or is Metafilter running for president? I'd vote for MetaFilter, but apparently we don't agree on much, and I'm a 97% Sanders guy.
posted by jetsetsc at 7:40 AM on September 30, 2015


I'd like to spend my career genetically engineering bacteriophage for medical, agricultural, and industrial purposes - replacing antibiotics with more sustainable, targeted, and powerful antimicrobials made possible by modern technology. There is so much about Sanders that I superficially like, but his public positions on what I do, and what I know well, have just been so morally wrong, shallowly ideological, scientifically inaccurate and actively dishonest I don't think I could bring myself to vote for him in the primary.

His whole campaign just feels like a mirror image of Ron Pauls' through the years with the same kind of stubbornly ideological rejection of pragmatic thinking and the same kind of special love for the kinds of positions that are simple, easy to communicate, and dead wrong in a way that would only be obvious to an expert.
posted by Blasdelb at 7:42 AM on September 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


How does one compare results with metafilter.com?
posted by theorique at 7:58 AM on September 30, 2015


96 percent Sanders. I really should put that bumper sticker I bought on my car.
posted by limeonaire at 8:03 AM on September 30, 2015


Sanders's campaign bus is covered with a crudely-scrawled 'ANTIBIOTICS RULE BACTERIOPHAGES DROOL'
posted by shakespeherian at 8:25 AM on September 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Whoa, now this was a real surprise...
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:25 AM on September 30, 2015


It didn't ask me about anything I care much about: money in politics, arms sales, surveillance, militarization of police, prison reform, torture, the banking scandal, Patriot Act, education.

Where's the beef?


All this stuff was on the quiz. Did you expand each section? I think weighting how important each issue is to you and clarifying stances using the "Other answers" will also end in results that make more sense to people.

Or there are a lot of people here who don't know what candidates stand for?
posted by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on September 30, 2015


Has Sanders come out against the use of bacteriophages? One of the disagreements I had with him, according to this test, was whether GMO foods should be labelled (I said no, but don't feel super-strongly about that, while the pull quote from Sanders was something like "consumers have the right to know what's in their food", which I suppose is a pretty harmless stance). Has he gotten much more granular than that about food tech?
This is a press release currently on his senate website, which is at once dishonest about what the FDA thought in the 90s, actively misleading about what the AMA, APHA, and ANA think about recombinant technology (which have each had a solid favorable consensus stretching back to the beginning along with every other relevant and reputable scientific and medical body), and inaccurately presents presents the RoundUp ready trait that is designed to the lifespan of glyphosate as somehow forcing the return to older more toxic herbicides.

At least when applied to recombinant technology, "consumers have the right to know what's in their food" is not at all a harmless stance in a counter-intuitive but incredibly important way. A GMO label wouldn't clearly label anything or communicate accurate information about the product, just like the factually true but actively misleading stickers that creationists in state governments were trying to put into science textbooks a while ago declaring evolution to be just a theory. They would communicate something fundamentally false, even if the sticker were literally accurate. By way of explanation, there is an old urban legend about two salmon canneries dueling in the marketplace with competing slogans. The story goes that one cannery, which packaged naturally white fleshed salmon, came out with a campaign declaring that its salmon was "Guaranteed Not To Turn Pink In The Can!," which while factually true falsely implied that their competitors sold old salmon. Then, not to be outdone, the other cannery, which packaged naturally pink fleshed salmon, comes out with its own slogan "Guaranteed: No Bleach Used in Processing!" Its a funny parable of capitalism gone shitty, but then so is the whole labeling debate.

Labeling something as GMO-free is intellectually dishonest in all of the same ways that labeling salmon as guaranteed not to turn pink in the can or bleach free is, it takes advantage of the ignorance of the consumer while contributing to it. Of course we should no more make GMO-free labelled food or similar examples of companies using FUD tactics to sell products like paraben-free cosmetics, MSG-free chinese food, or Bisphenol A (BPA) free plastics illegal than bleach free salmon, but to mandate the bullshit would be a perversion of the regulatory philosophy that protects us from corporate greed. Consumers are already perfectly capable of choosing GMO free foods by buying organic if they have sincerely held beliefs in whatever, but just because the companies pushing this can make a lot of money selling you fear doesn't mean our government should help them.

When what should be scientific debate over regulation gets warped by uninformed but well marketed public fear, it ends up with much deeper consequences than might be obvious. At the moment the phage community in Europe is figuring out how to regulate phage based medicines with the European Commission as well as individual member states, and the question of whether engineered phage would be "GMO phages" like genetically engineered plants or "recombinant phage" like genetically engineered antibodies or genetically engineered vaccines or genetically engineered insulin or the genetically engineered enzymes used to make vegetarian cheese has ended up an absurd farce that will likely end up cutting off the European Union from some of what may soon end up being the best options available for a lot of dire problems. The truth is that there really isn't an ontologically meaningful difference between those two categories to begin with, even if there is an embarrassingly massive legal difference in Europe, and no one really wants to deal with the question.
posted by Blasdelb at 9:16 AM on September 30, 2015 [7 favorites]


Labeling something as GMO-free is intellectually dishonest in all of the same ways that labeling salmon as guaranteed not to turn pink in the can or bleach free is

Having not really followed the GMO issue very closely, I was under the impression that the ask was that GMO foods be labeled as such, not that GMO-free foods be labelled as such.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:53 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


it rids your body of toxins
posted by shakespeherian at 9:59 AM on September 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


so if i put the salmon in my shoes will it use gravity to draw the toxins out of my body through the soles of my feet?

or do i need to wear a salmon bracelet?
posted by poffin boffin at 10:02 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


you have to use rainbow trout

hence the term 'gravity's rainbow'
posted by shakespeherian at 10:08 AM on September 30, 2015


it rids your body of toxins

But I love toxins!
posted by aubilenon at 10:37 AM on September 30, 2015


Registrant Name: Registration Private
Registrant Organization: Domains By Proxy, LLC


so they hide whomever owns this. Though I agree with the results I got, always ask yourself WHO is doing any poll. They're nothing but a means to influence your decision.

or just never do these.
posted by malrimple at 11:31 AM on September 30, 2015


97% Green party in the US, Canada, and UK. 82% Green party in Australia. What are you doing wrong, Australia? I think the answer is that they're actually winning some elections ever, come to think of it
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:38 AM on September 30, 2015


Odd questionnaire. If you choose "other stances" it gives you several additional, more nuanced stances on the issue. The weird thing is that when it first loads, all the choices are displayed for a second, and then most disappear with only two absolute choices and other stances remaining.
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:29 PM on September 30, 2015


I took this a while back and I still feel hesitant. For example "Prosecute Wall Street Criminals" was apparently "Agreed with" by Santorum, yet when I went to see this supposed support of such a stance, all I found was "I opposed bailouts". I mean, sure, yeah. But it's not "Lock up the fuckers".

Perhaps the nuance just confuses the algorithm.

Here's my results:
-------------
96 Bernie
83 Hillary
79 Biden
78 O'Malley
31 Huckabee
30 Paul
27 Jeb
25 Christie
25 Trump
20 Kasich
13 Fiorina
11 Jindal
11 Carson
7 Rubio
7 Cruz
5 Graham
4 Santorum

As for Party:
------------
91 Green
87 Democrat
81 Socialist
37 Libertarian
12 Constitution
1 Republican

I'm pretty sure at heart I'm more Socialist than Green. I think this is because some of the answers I took the "Moderate"/"Sensible" approach (which means I'm probably even MORE anti-Republican than these answers make me sound). Like "Lower Corporate Taxes/Close Loophole" = Center-Right Corpodem.

I say this as part of my understanding of modern capitalist-mixed economy economics and that just "Tax Corps" in itself is a weak solution (e.g. most social democratic countries actually have a lower corporate tax rate than the US for example).

My answer on one of the things in my heart is "ABOLISH NATION STATES!" But the sensible approach is like "make an easy path for immigrants" or something...

Also - I surely MUST be more inline with my mefite homies than this thing claims.
posted by symbioid at 1:46 PM on September 30, 2015


Blasdelb: " his public positions on what I do, and what I know well, have just been so morally wrong, shallowly ideological, scientifically inaccurate and actively dishonest I don't think I could bring myself to vote for him in the primary."

This is sorta how I feel about Greens, which is why I was surprised to see them running ahead of Socialists on my party listing.
posted by symbioid at 2:02 PM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


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